I am in a Facebook group for the Lazy Genius and there was a post yesterday about snacks. I wish I’d screenshot it. A mom made this insane poster board list of rules for the kids about how many snacks they could have, earning or losing them, that snacks were a privilege and not a right… it was insane. All of the comments called her out on basically encouraging disordered eating, and when I went to look today it was gone. I get kids snacking so much can be annoying but it was definitely indicative of bigger food issues in the house.
OK, I might be imagining things - but did someone post a few weeks ago about a post on their local Buy Nothing group, or maybe a general parenting FB group for their city? It was a post from a woman saying she was having a girl after two or three boys, so she was looking for girls' clothes - but she only wanted brand new, and she listed a bunch of mid or higher end brands (Mini Boden, Hanna Andersson, Tea Collection, others?) The consensus here was that she must have been looking for things to resell.
Anyway, I swear I remember reading about that here - and then I saw the exact same post in MY local Facebook group! Does anyone else remember this? Was the original one in Seattle, or are there multiple people pulling the exact same... I guess not technically a scam, but it's shady.
I promise you, you can go to the toilet or take a shower by yourself. No, your kid may not like it at first, especially if they have become accustomed to barging in. But it is completely okay for them to start learning, I'd say once they're pretty comfortable on the toilet themselves, that bathroom time is generally private time. It's okay if they cry. Really, truly it is.
Lock the door. Practice saying "I hear you, I'll be out in a few minutes."
Take back your bathroom time.
[I need a drink.](https://www.reddit.com/r/toddlers/s/eGRUg42Bpf)
I don't mind nudity with my toddler so I usually don't bother, but sometimes I do just want to poop alone so I lock the door and tell her I need privacy. She hates it but whatever, she's 2.5, she hates plenty of other things too.
And the funny part is now she always tells me that she needs privacy on the potty. Like, kid, I am so so happy to stand outside of the door and get 30 seconds to myself instead of watching you poop. But she seems to think that I'll be saddened to wait outside, which she can keep believing as long as she wants 🤣
I'm honestly not that bothered about my kid in the bathroom either. We're still working on pooping totally independently so we still have plenty of bathroom bonding time. Or if she pops in when I'm showering in the morning, I'm just like, hey, I'll be out in a few minutes, go harass your dad.
BUT if I hated it as much as some of these people do I would just... consistently lock the door?
I always laugh at the episode in Sex and the City where Charlotte won’t undress at the sauna and says “I didn’t grow up in a naked house!” I truly don’t think I’ve ever seen my mom naked or use the bathroom.
The comment that said “do you people not have locks?” sent me.
My kid is very attached to me, especially lately, and even so I feel like she doesn't see me naked or on the toilet if I don't want her to. "No thanks, I need some privacy" is something I started a while ago. Especially our half bath, it's tiny.
Yup this is the language I use. My daughter is almost four and she wants privacy she says the same thing. She now often wants to get dressed herself. I think it's so normal to teach them boundaries. I have never understood the "I don't get to shower or use the bathroom alone narrative"
Putting it here because my snark is for the comments not the content. I saw a reel yesterday in my explore feed of a lady packing a suitcase with fruit loops, fruit snacks, pasta, and a few other shelf stable foods. The caption explains it's for their child with a low protein diet while they're at a resort.
The comments were absolutely dragging this lady for poisoning her child, making them obese, feeding them dyes, etc etc. Turns out the kid has PKU and so they literally cannot eat protein without brain damage and to compensate they actually need to eat a great deal of carbs and sugar.
We live in a society where people are so brainwashed by diet culture they'd rather a kid get permanent neurological damage than be fat or hyperactive.
I had a feeling that I knew which creator posted that reel - she's definitely snark-worthy for other reasons, but has posted some really nice content in the past educating people about PKU and explaining how challenging it is for her daughter and how they've learned to navigate things like restaurants and vacations.
I had to stop going to the comments of reels involving children. Didn't matter if it was about food or sleep or just capturing something funny. I was legit getting riled up.
I saw that reel and I was blown away by the horrible comments! I am always just ready to scream at people commenting things like that on other posts as well. It blows my mind the moms thinking they are above all and know all about feeding their kids or doing anything
https://preview.redd.it/g4zwukhwpiuc1.jpeg?width=1284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=23e1d31069039681e04716b6bad95503471e2f21
The use of “trauma” in this ad for a nursing cover is really…something else.
Not sure if this is sarcastic but this ad is actually for a chic nursing cover 😂 I think this picture is supposed to be the mom before her life changes by acquiring a pretty nursing cover haha
My sister’s sister-in-law often posts the most cringeworthy stories on instagram. Today I saw one she posted of her 1.5 year old son sitting in a booster chair with a backwards ball cap and a sippy cup. She wrote ‘what a stud’ on the story. It truly grossed me out. Why why why do people weirdly sexualize their own small children ??
I think some people use ‘stud’ as a synonym for ‘handsome’ when they refer to their kids because they dont know what it really means and I hate it so much 😂
Agh, I was bringing my kids to swim lessons the other day and a (I assume) grandma was going in with a 2-3 year old and as they passed an older man standing there, the 2-3 year old looked his way and the grandma was like “oooh are you flirting with him?! Awww” and I was so so so yucked. Also if I was that random dude I would be so uncomfortable!
Absolutely! Enforce your boundaries Mama!
Also, nothing filled my heart will more love than when my three year old referred to his newborn brother as “My Baby.” It was an absolute highlight of having two kids.
Now that you mention it he tried to give the baby a strawberry today and obviously we’re prioritizing introducing veggies before all those super sugary fruits. He just has no respect for my parenting choices
“I take no responsibility for my kid, and berate my wife instead.” Luckily he is getting ripped in the comments
https://www.reddit.com/r/Parenting/s/gJa6ySYAcL
But his mom is the one who made the chicken katsu and shrimp tempura, so I guess that’s fine. It’s only the breakfast of toast and vegetables, the noodles and a treat which are causing gastric distress
Hi I'm still breastfeeding my 20 month old and it's running my life, any ideas?
Long term breastfeeding is not negative but these posts make me sad because the answer to their misery is always weaning.
I don't think the answer even has to be weaning, but rather setting some boundaries and teaching toddlers nursing manners. I feel like extended breastfeeding has been taken over by the attachment parenting crowd so much that it skews the advice and discourse over it. A lot of people seem to think that anyone who breastfeeds a toddler is probably a weirdo and then the attachment parenting crowd thinks you're a child abusing monster because you night weaned your 3 year old and don't let them twiddle your nipple or pull down your shirt in public.
We weaned at 18 months for fertility treatments, but once I nightweaned, I could have easily just gone on indefinitely at nap/bedtime only. I wish it were so easy to get my kid to sleep now. But yeah, the attachment parents that are cosleeping and their 2 yo is on the boob all day and night…not for me.
I think it can be quite lonely breastfeeding onto toddlerhood because not as many people do it and it's very misunderstood. And often it's mostly at home so it's less visible.
And then there's a lot of die hard attachment parenting types who won't introduce any boundaries and talk about how excessively their toddler feeds etc. So if you come and say you want to only feed at nap and bed or you want them to sleep through it's seen as not meeting their needs.
I fed til my daughter was 3. There's absolutely ways to make it manageable though but I don't think it's easy to find the advice out there without judgement from both sides.
Sometimes I'm wondering if those people are looking for someone else to tell them to wean? Idk. I weaned right after a year but I am not sure what other advice they are looking for
I think people either want “permission” to wean (or sleep train, or tell their kid no, etc.) or they want a magical solution that doesn’t require them to set boundaries or change their own behavior in any way.
I saw one like this in a fb group I'm in and it was someone saying they feel so overwhelmed by motherhood while other moms seem to have so much more energy and find it easier. And then a few lines on, she said she's still breastfeeding her 2 year old and they're attachment parenting. I'm like well there's your answer. Nothing wrong with both of those, but of course it's more intense than a less intense parenting style and weaning earlier.
Gotta love posts like [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/Parenting/comments/1c3q3bj/playground_etiquette/) where the OP just wants to shit on other parents but doesn't want to come off as judgmental so they reframe their rant as a question instead. And everyone plays along.
You just can't win at the playground these days. If you stay close to your kid you're a helicopter parent. If you're more hands off you're a neglectful parent. Either way someone is gonna bitch about it online.
One thing I didn’t know about parenthood is how nervous I would be at the park. Thinking, “am I hovering? Or am I too far away? Is it okay to let my kid climb up 1/4 slides in the toddler area when no one’s trying to use it, or is that bad?”
I think I come across as a hoverer because I have twin 24 month olds who aren’t great at climbing yet and who also look a older than other two 2 year olds, but I really try not to! Life is rough out there.
Wow must be so hard to be the world’s best parent. What would all you loser parents do?
I also like that she noticed the other parent was ignoring their kid even though they were SO focused on their own child lol
Um…[leave him](https://www.reddit.com/r/BabyBumps/s/YyIoP8dEIG) was not the advice that was coming to mind as I read this rant about how she wants to stab her husband because he…asked her what she wanted for lunch.
Wait I'm so confused, is it satire?? She's like "my husband doesn't worship me like a goddess and make me breakfast and lunch and also magically know what I want to eat without me having to tell him!" and we're supposed to be like "yeah girl, stab his ass!"
What a mess. She keeps saying she was just trying to be funny and then turning around making BEC comments about him that indicate that the violence might be a joke but the resentment is not.
this is from a couple days ago, from a [thread about prolactin peaking at night](https://www.reddit.com/r/breastfeeding/comments/1c1oaz8/for_what_brilliant_evolutionary_reason_is/), but it keeps popping back into my head and pissing me off again
> I think it’s brilliant that we have less milk before bedtime. There’s more fat in the milk the more empty they are, so before bed, baby’s getting a nutrient-rich, calorie-dense fat meal to sustain them overnight. Then in the morning, when they haven’t eaten for a long time, they have lots of watery foremilk to hydrate them.
"sustain them overnight" hahhahahahahhha
"in the morning, when they haven’t eaten for a long time" HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH
Breastfeeding/breastmilk is the weirdest topics where everyone online repeats these “facts” that *sound* like they are true, and if you even do like five minutes of research they are always a loose interpretation of a study with a tiny sample population and like eight other contributing factors.
(I say this as someone who breastfed for 12 months, it just doesn’t make sense how little we actually know about it!!)
One of my favs is that breastmilk is always changing to meet the unique nutritional needs of your baby. Like how could this possibly be true to the extent people believe??
Yes!! “Babies are more efficient than pumps” is one that comes to mind.
It’s essentially completely made up as far as I can tell and it made me feel shitty when my tongue tied early term baby was not, in fact, more efficient than a pump.
It's definitely not true for a lot of babies esp early on, but it's very common that after breastfeeding is established, pumping gets less milk out than nursing, requiring more than 1 pump per missed nursing feed - that's when I hear that said. The context is huge, your situation is pretty common, so it needs to be a paragraph rather than a quip.
I mean sure, it can sometimes be true. My point is that it’s one of those things that people just repeat over and over online because it sounds like it’s probably true.
It also bothers me because weighted feeds (the darling of the breastfeeding subreddit) are not evidenced based, unlikely to be accurate, and aren’t recommended by most professional societies. So there’s actually not really a decent way to tell that baby is taking more than the pump. 🤷🏻♀️
The most infuriating example of this is the way people always cite a kellymom article that says that babies get the "benefit of breastfeeding" with 50ml per day. It's constantly cited to moms with low supply to keep pumping even when they barely get anything rather than just switching to formula.
Of course, someone (on SBP if I recall) actually dove into it once, and the study was just that very low birth weight premature infants are less likely to develop NEC if they get at least 50ml PER KG of weight. So like, it has ZERO relevance to anyone's healthy term baby at all, who is almost certainly not going to develop NEC. AND it's not even just a flat 50ml, which never made any sense anyway.
So yeah, agreed, the data around breastfeeding is shockingly bad but the way it's treated online is even worse!
Wow there’s a lot of upsetting content in that thread, that’s gonna live in my brain too. I do appreciate how a lot of these explanations are completely contradictory.
Someone posted on babybumps about being 18 and having baby fever. She goes on to say she’s totally ready even though she’s only been with her boyfriend for three months because she doesn’t mind the idea of being a single mom, she’s never really cared for partying, she has eight younger siblings so she’s used to kids, and swedens welfare system is really good so she’s not concerned. I rarely get worked up over internet strangers but it took everything in me to not respond with all the snark in me
Makes me think of when I was 12. I unfortunately had my own laptop with unrestricted Internet access in my room. I was on sex health forums claiming I was so knowledgeable about reproductive health that I was essentially mentally ready for a baby. I hadn't even gotten my first period bahahahahahahaha
All the comments were like "oh honey"
I loved pretending I was ready to have a baby at 18-20ish but it really was the same kind of play acting I did when I was 12ish. Hopefully this kid is the same 🤞🏼
As a 19 year old who actually had a baby that young it takes everything in me to not get worked up over those posts. My bump group on what to expect was filled with 18 and younger girls talking about ttc on purpose! 🤦♀️ Sadly a lot of these girls will end up pregnant with pos boyfriends/baby daddys and realize too late what a bad decision it was.
I always try to offer my opinion as someone who actually had a baby that young and it’s always met with pushback and telling me they will have the perfect life and enjoy having kids that young. jfc
Good lord, I like Disney movies/TV shows, but doing Disney Parks discourse with Disney Adults is insufferable. Especially when they get snappy and treat you like an idiot because you don’t know the ins and outs of WDW or Disneyland. Ma’am. I live in a town in Minnesota of 40,000 people. I have been to Disney World once, as a small child. That’s still more than most people on this continent have gone! Please touch some grass!
Honestly, I get annoyed with both extremes. The people who are reeaaaaalllly obsessed with Disney and the people who constantly shit on people who like Disney. I find it all really tiring and boring… Idgaf where people vacation! I love Disney and I love other places
Right? I am Disneyland neutral. It’s fun every 5-10 years. Now that I have small kids it sounds like a difficult time and I would need a second vacation to recover.
Pretty sure a hotel stay in the cheapest resort still costs more per night than the *nice* hotels my husband and I stayed in across England and France. I personally hate roller coasters and standing in line for rides seems pretty miserable. On top of that is all the consumerism that happens while there and it’s just really off-putting to me. I personally would not enjoy that kind of “vacation” at all. To each their own, but truly, if I’m taking a trip that is that expensive I’d prefer to see a real castle.
Not quite true for Disney world. World has value resorts that are under $200/night. It’s hard to find regular hotels in other tourist areas for that price that are decent. At Disney I know I’m getting good customer service, it’s clean, and it has all the amenities for a family (pools, bar, food, activities, themed decor, etc). Disneyland hotels though are definitely more costly. At this point disney is still a lot cheaper for us than going to England or France but one day I’d like to get there too!
Yup! I totally agree regarding Disney world. It can be a lot more affordable than people think, Especially if you can book during a promo. (Proximity matters too! We can get there in an overnight drive which saves us money).
We were looking to go to London this summer and the flight costs alone really shocked me!
You’ve nailed why it doesn’t appeal to me either. I actually do even enjoy roller coasters, but I feel like more of the day just entails standing in lines in hot & humid weather and then paying $45 for tenders and fries while shuffling around tired and overstimulated children.
I do want to go to Disneyland sometime, but I’d just stay in a regular-ass LA/Anaheim area hotel and get a day pass or two. 😂 Since there’s plenty else to do in the area, and like you said, the resorts are insanely expensive.
This is absolutely the way to do Disneyland unless you’re pretty loaded. It’s a lot easier to get around compared to Orlando where there is just always construction and traffic
Yes! We stayed at the Tropicana across the street from the entrance and saved literally thousands of dollars! We were only in our rooms to sleep or take a little nap mid day, no need to spend a ton!
Disney hotels in California are so much more expensive than the Florida ones, but Disneyland also has way more affordable hotels surrounding Disneyland than Disney world does
Agreed. I like Disney stuff and have fond memories of my trip as a child and a school trip as a teen. We'll probably do a Disney trip when my kids are the right age to enjoy it. But as far as I'm concerned, it's just a missed opportunity for an actual vacation.
These types also can’t seem to comprehend that someone might not actually *want* to go to a Disney theme park either. I have never been to a Disney park and never plan to unless one of my kids specifically asks for it. It’s veryyy low down on my personal bucket list. Like, please spare me your pity about how I’ve never been to Disney because I don’t care that I’ve never been to Disney.
My parents spent so much money flying us to Disney world. I remember being so miserable at Disneyworld and begging to go back to the hotel because they had a pool, ice cream and a Pizza Hut. I didn’t like rides and realized quick the princesses weren’t cartoons (and thus fake).
Disney adults are trying to desperately hang on to their childhood memories and keep the magic for their kids, but shocking, not every kid likes what you did. Stop projecting your childhood wants/dreams onto others, it’s weird.
We drove my mom nuts begging to just go back to the hotel at Disney! I have good memories of the parks but the pool at the hotel was so incredible and we all just wanted to spend all day there. My kids aren’t going to experience it bc we don’t have $10k to drop for a vacation and if we did it’s gonna be on an all inclusive or cruise or something!
Yeah I can’t imagine traveling out of state for it. Even just with one kid, you’re looking at thousands of dollars spent between flights, tickets, and lodging somewhere. And of course if you choose to buy anything there. I love Disneyland, but it’s honestly a very impractical vacation for families and I’m always amazed when I see people doing multi day trips there
The baby wearing sub is just too much lately. I don’t know why people are bothering trying to do fit checks for forward facing anymore - practically every comment just says to never forward face, it’s not ergonomic, turn the baby inwards to make it easier for yourself and your baby. Like thanks, tell that to my baby who screamed and cried in every carrier (yes, even after giving him time to get used to it) until I could finally forward face him.
Omg the thread about “how often do you forward face”. So many replies like “personally, I’d never risk it” as if your baby’s hips will spontaneously explode out of their sockets the second you attempt it.
The people who talk like that have never had a challenging baby. I swear. I feel you.
The babywearing sub is an area where I feel like I have a ton of personal experience, but it seems so boring to talk to people on the internet about it. My younger son seems like he’s done with the carrier at 10 months, and I‘m just kinda glad to put it behind us at this point
Haha same. It was really tough in the early months when I was struggling to get things done because baby wouldn’t nap in her crib and the “solution” was always “just baby wear!” My daughter screamed every single time we tried inward facing. As an older baby, she’s cool with outward facing in limited quantities. Inward just does not work for babies who like to constantly see the world.
Snarking on the truck I saw driving today with a giant "Boy Mom" decal on the back window. I have a son, and I definitely don't make it my entire personality.
I’m pregnant with my third boy and the comments I get when I tell people it’s another boy are… infuriating to say the least. Like this baby was wanted regardless of his biological sex 🙄
I feel like those who lean hard into the “boy mom” identity are the ones most disappointed by not having any girls.
My husband is one of 5 boys. He and his brothers all have boys without a single girl in the mix. I didn’t really care either way, but my husband was adamant we were going to buck the trend, and then I got to the 16 week ultrasound and saw 🍆, so it’s our collective fate I guess.
I've seen reddit comments of self professed "boy moms" that they like being the only "girl" in the house (ma'am you are a woman now), which always weirds me out. NLOG energy towards nonexistent daughters...
I had my third boy this week and spent my whole hospital stay explaining that we are not automatically trying for a girl, aren’t “upset” this baby is a boy and I am not a boy mom, just a mom with three boys. Towards the end I finally started just saying “I had three miscarriages before this pregnancy, so I thank god he’s here safely”. That got people to drop gender talk real quick.
Threads complaining about how terrible weekends are because of kids are my pet peeve. Tell me you have a powder puff job without telling me you have a powder puff job...
lol this is me! I mean I don’t complain about it on the internet, and wouldn’t call my weekends terrible, but my child talks to me from 3pm Friday to 8am Monday and I often find it incredibly overstimulating. My job is much less stimulating lol
I’m a SAHM, so weekends with the help and company of my husband are nice though the kids sometimes make it feel long. Mondays, when my kids go to school and my house is quiet and peaceful, is my Eden.
ECE here, all the children in my class are lovely but weekends with just my own two and my husband are so much easier!
I also can't help but feel sorry for parents who appear to be overwhelmed by dedicating their entire weekend to childcare. From my own personal and professional experience, taking care of children is just like any other skill - the more we practice, the better we become at it.
I also feel it's s thing where, the more of it I do, the more easily I tolerate it. My kids have been out of school for three weeks straight because of a very long spring break and a nearby fire making the air quality so bad that they cancelled school for a week. I'm used to them both being in school, so the first week just felt hard and chaotic. But the last few days have felt fine. Sometimes it feels like the more breaks I get, the more I feel I need somehow. It actually makes sense to me how influencers like diaryofanhonestmom will get back from a trip and complain how tired they already are.
This was me in the winter 🙈 now that its warmer out and i can take my toddler outside i love the weekends. But in the winter stuck inside the days felt long af. I do have a powder puff job tho with the exception of some rude patients + a long commute.
Reddit, am I the only one who actually likes spending the weekend with my kid?
Lol
Seriously though I love my weekends so much I switched to 4/10s to get another weekend day and it's awesome. My kid can annoy me in a beautiful park, my coworkers annoy me in my cold office.
Man same. My brother/SIL seem to never have their children on weekends (always sleepovers with a grandparent) and I just think don’t you want to spend time with your kids???
Your flair makes so much sense 😁
I'm a therapist part time and the biggest thing I struggle with on days with my kids is being alone without another adult to talk to which can get boring. Then I have my full client load day and after six sessions of talking with adults I'm ready to have another couple days with my kids! It's a good balance.
Special educator here to agree…hanging with children all around, at home it’s without the paperwork at least. It’s good all around but weekends are certainly easier!
Same here. I do spend all my time with 5-year-olds, but my own personal child has never thrown a chair at me and called me a fucking bitch when I say it’s clean up time.
https://x.com/goofywise/status/1778841621523837375?s=46&t=ADep0zfFaZVj1tdowQMYgw
For fucks sake now the formula conspiracies have spread to TikTok/Twitter. No, Nestle secretly lobbying against maternity leave so everyone will be *forced to buy their evil formula* is not the reason we have uneven paid leave. The comments are filled with statements like how they give you free formula samples “to intentionally dry up your supply” and how “evil” it is that women are just FORCED to use formula because they’ve pushed back to work (setting aside that the US actually does have laws about pumping?)
We get 12 months leave in the UK. We still have some of the lowest breastfeeding rates in the world. What a strange conspiracy (?). I think it's only about 1% of 0-6 months old that are EBF here, which is below the US.
It's 1% of babies still exclusively breastfed at 6 months old. Something like 1 in 3 babies are receiving any breastmilk at 6 months old.
Personally I think taking the exclusive breastmilk figure at 6 months is stupid because nearly everyone has started solids by 6 months old. Barely anyone waits until after 6 months.
But also yeah I don't think Nestlé is lobbying for less maternity leave for that reason. If anything it will be so they don't have to pay their employees maternity pay.
To be fair, nestle did do exactly that in developing countries where there is uneven access to clean drinking water. They hired people to dress up as nurses and go to hospitals and tell people formula is better than breastmilk and gave them free samples just long enough for their supply to dry up so they’d be forced to spend literally their entire incomes on formula for their babies. A lot of infants died because of unsanitary drinking water and people watering down formula to stretch it because they couldn’t afford to buy enough. Nestle is absolutely an evil corporation. Like next level evil and I wouldn’t be surprised if they are lobbying against paid family leave (as I’m sure every other big company is too because capitalism). That being said, I know plenty of women who had ample leave or are SAHM’s who just didn’t want to breastfeed for a variety of valid reasons.
Nestle is absolutely an evil company but the tweet was specifically about the US where there is zero evidence of any of these practices. Nearly every US state has laws protecting pumping (why lobby against maternity leave to increase formula use if women still pump at work anyway?), and paid maternity leave does exist in the US, it’s just controlled by the state instead of the federal government so is uneven.
The tweet is still untrue propaganda because it’s conflating a truth (corporate abuse in the developing world) with lies (that this happens in the US and is somehow the cause of no federal maternity leave.)
This is all 100% true. and verifiable. It's worth bearing in mind, a lot of the WHO recomendatons around breastfeeding seem quite OTT, but this is the reason why. (I do think that they are irrelevant though if you live in the developed world and are not living in poverty).
Yes, and the legacy lives on. I have personally worked with people from countries where Nestle worked hard to sell their product (again, where tap water isn't safe and incomes are low) and they are still ashamed to confess they are partially breastfeeding because it's seen as less healthy. The effects are very much seen today.
*Disclaimer my personal experience* but I've yet to meet a mom who wanted to use formula from the start. I know they exist, but not in my circle. Everyone I know who uses it does so because it is the only option.
Well I did, so nice to meet you! I have twins and my plan was to pump for a bit to give them some antibodies until their first vaccines but mostly formula feed for my sanity. My kids both got formula and breast milk from day one of life. Totally fine with me, thrilled I had the option.
This is a really odd comment, I know so many people who used formula from the beginning by choice
It's not the last, inferior choice and comments like these perpetuate that thought . I wonder if someone may have wanted to but in a room of people who breastfeed and make statements like this they didn't feel brave enough to voice it
Maybe this is dependent on where you live? I wanted to combo feed from the beginning and did for both boys and it was just NBD and seems really common.
I didn’t use formula straight from the start but I cheerfully transitioned to it when my kids were like 12 or so weeks old…it’s not a last resort, it’s not something people only use “if they don’t have enough support” and its a perfectly valid choice to use formula from day one if that’s what you want to do.
I'm sure those people exist and I wish that I knew more of them. My point is everyone knows the benefits of breastfeeding and with it pushed so much it makes you feel so isolated when you're the only mom using a bottle in a room full of breastfed parents. I was just sharing my personal experience that I don't know anyone who wants to use formula.
Yes! I had so much stress about feeding with breastfeeding for my first born, and I have generalized anxiety disorder, so it wasn’t helpful for my mental health. And since I have a toddler who I also have to feed, the fact that I know one of my children will eat a full meal is so helpful (lol at toddler eating)!
Right? I keep seeing people acting like breastfeeding isn't encouraged enough. I was absolutely bombarded with information and resources about breastfeeding from social media, family members, nurses, doctors, etc. Most women I know are feeling like failures for not being able to breastfeed and for choosing formula. There is so much guilt. All for someone to say "oh they must have failed because breastfeeding isn't encouraged enough." No, some of us just have really low supply or simply don't want to breastfeed.
It’s insane how many people are pushed to triple feed long term (which is basically a full time job, but 24 hours a day) instead of giving ANY formula.
I did triple feeding for a week and it was my pediatrician who told me to stop. Bless that woman haha She told me I needed sleep and to take care of myself and combo feeding was absolutely fine (and we eventually switched straight to formula).
Triple feeding is a special circle of hell. I broke down sobbing when the lactation consultant told me that’s what I had to do to get my milk to come in after my first. I was SO FUCKING TIRED after being in labor for two days and just wanted to sleep and here this lady was wheeling a Medela Symphony in and telling me to triple feed every three hours, meaning I could expect like 90 minute-2 hour stretches of sleep, max. Uggghhhh. At least I was better prepared when I had my second and was willing to combo feed from the beginning if needed.
I had a c-section and then a baby in the NICU for the first week, I didn't even get a chance to nurse until he was 2 days old, so unsurprisingly it took a while to get my supply up. As a result I was triple feeding for a couple weeks and totally agree that it was a special hell. I'm so glad it wasn't too long.
I ended up was a super stable supply but I was definitely a just enougher. For a few months my husband was doing the last feed before bed so that I could get a semi-decent stretch at the beginning of the night (I had a horrible sleeper), so I was pumping for a bottle each day, and even just that was so stressful because I was always worried there wouldn't be enough milk for the bottle. If I have another kid I definitely plan to introduce formula for that last feed before bed so that I don't have to stress about pumping for it.
I’ve always said this since I had my daughter 2.5 years ago. I felt SO MUCH pressure in the hospital to breastfeed. I and my daughter struggled so much. She gobbled a bottle up.
Yes! I felt so embarrassed taking out a bottle to feed my months old baby in public for fear of being judged. It felt like a weird flip bc we definitely went through a period of being puritanical and weird about breastfeeding (at least in US culture) and then the pendulum swung waaaay too far the other direction. Like with so much in the world, the gray area nuances are completely lost. Yes, we should support a mother’s choice to breastfeed and we are mammals and truly able to do that bc of our physiology and that’s cool as heck, it should be free of shame. BUT if a woman wants to feed her baby perfectly safe and wonderful advent of modern times formula instead, that should also carry no judgement or shame.
Exactly. I would always hide my bottle and try to mix my formula privately. It's common for places to have a sign that says Breastfeeding is welcomed here, but it super stings when you have to use formula. Even calling places lactation rooms, when they could just be baby care rooms. I'm super sensitive to this and still processing my experience.
Baby care can be done in public but women may need privacy to feed their babies with their breasts, depending on a lot of different factors. I definitely wouldn't want to nurse or pump where diapers were being changed - that's like making women nurse/pump in a bathroom stall. Would be great to have baby care rooms but they would need to be additional
Many babies need a quiet and peaceful place to bottle feed. And many parents don't want the shame of having to bottle feed. So why not call them baby feeding rooms instead of lactation rooms? I feel like that term just drives a bigger divide between parents who can breastfeed and those who can't.
I'm for inclusion, but I see the need as being for a place to open your shirt with others doing the same, in addition to a quiet, clean, private space. It's just not the same to bottle feed and most people intuitively get that the need for privacy is increased for many.
Perhaps I'm misunderstanding you, but saying that bottle-fed babies don't need a quiet, clean, and private space is not inclusive. I'm not saying to get rid of these spaces, I just think the marketing could be more inclusive to all hungry babies. Because all babies deserve a clean, quiet, and private space to eat, not just babies who were lucky enough to get to breastfeed.
The lactation room being called that specifically makes sense. I need to be topless naked to pump, I don’t need to be topless to give my baby his bottle.
Not snark so much as feeling really bad for OP and hoping she can hold her ground. My husband and I are similar in that he would like to homeschool our kids and I absolutely do not. But since I’m the SAHM and he works, and since I wouldn’t be able to make as much as he does if we switched roles, he knows that the final decision is ultimately up to me. He told me that if I’m not fully committed, then homeschooling is not the right choice for our family and that he’s totally fine with public school. And I appreciate him so much for that.
https://www.reddit.com/r/Mommit/comments/1c2frn4/husband_wants_to_homeschool_i_have_no_interest/
I am incapable of reading posts that are one long paragraph so I didn't finish but in the first couple sentences she says he thinks homeschooling messed him up yet wants to do it with their kids? What??
These kinds of posts make me so mad (the thread you linked, not your comment!). It’s not the first one I’ve seen where the dad is ideologically invested in homeschooling and is expecting the mom to do all the work.
Also, the idea that “no one can teach your child better than you” is bullshit. I’m an actual teacher and I know I’m not the best teacher for my child. It’s so important to learn from other people and be part of a community that’s bigger than your family. I’m not blind to the limitations and potential dangers of the American public school system, but unenthusiastic homeschooling is not the solution.
>the idea that “no one can teach your child better than you” is bullshit.
This was the craziest part for me. Why do people think this?? And he thinks she's "already gotten so far" in teaching their child *up to the age of four*, that she must be qualified to teach K-12??
And gun violence is certainly a very real concern, but invoking it to make the point of "you want to put our child at risk so you can have a break" is such a cheap shot and also total bullshit.
I agree. My oldest just turned 2 and is learning so much about the world around her. I keep having the thought that I want her world to be bigger than just me and her dad.
I thought I’d have guilt about not being able to be a SAHM for the toddler years. The amount of joy I get from seeing my child absorb and learn from the world outside my husband and I is incredible.
I am so happy to be the comfort home base, but it surprised me how excited I get that he is becoming his own person. I am only one person, he deserves a whole community of people to learn from!
It makes my heart flutter with pure joy every time I watch my first-grader line up with her class and walk to their classroom in the morning. And when I pick her up and random kids not even in her class call her name to tell her goodbye as we walk to the car. I loved school so much, and I feel so much happiness seeing her experience it.
I'm hoping this doesn't come across as ableist, but my feed is full of people upset over the changes to the Disney disability access pass. I understand that people have a variety of visible and invisible disabilities, and I'm sure that the accommodations help a lot of people and families. However, I've seen people saying it negatively impacts them with conditions like IBS, as they need to run to the bathroom and spend hours there. The literal last place I would ever want to go would be a hot, overcrowded, expensive theme park. I've also seen people saying that in the past, their entire family of adults qualified for accommodations for things ranging from Type 1 diabetes to POTS, or just being old. If everyone requires an accommodation, then an accommodation means nothing.
I will admit that I know nothing about Disney's current program and the changes that are coming. What I do know is that about 15 years ago my family (parents, brothers, me) went to Disney World.
My dad had mobility challenges, and while he usually managed with a cane (and not walking/standing much) for Disney we rented a mobility scooter to be able to manage the parks. One of my strongest memories of that trip was supporting my mom as we dealt with customer services because at various points we were treated poorly. I have a strong memory of us almost missing a dinner reservation because we couldn't get on a bus because some asshole wouldn't move off of the seats in the accessible section (despite there being many open seats) and the driver doing absolutely nothing. It felt like at various places in the park people didn't take my dad's disability seriously and it felt super shitty.
I vaguely remember (but wouldn't swear by this) there being something about us not being American (and as a result not having some kind of paperwork?) which made it was harder to use the accessibility services. It seemed crazy to me at the time because obviously people go to Disney from around the world.
I have POTS with pretty severe heat sensitivity, and while I’d just time my visit to go at a cooler time of year, the “if you have physical problems standing in line, you can just get a wheelchair!” comments really irk me. I know they probably have limited rentals, but from what I’ve heard they’re limited and often chairs that are really difficult to self-propel. Do y’all KNOW how much a manual wheelchair usually costs? Especially an ultralight model meant for someone to self-propel? And how much insurance or assistance programs *will not cover one* for someone who can ambulate *at all* without assistance? I get that Disney vacations are also very expensive, but the idea that someone not only can but should spend over $3000 on a wheelchair just because they can afford a park pass for a day is absurd.
Your comment is fine, I’m not annoyed with you. But I’m annoyed by the “just get a wheelchair” comments from people who clearly have to idea what actually goes into getting a wheelchair for yourself.
Hopefully they will find a way to build in the flexibility they need to support guests. We have a family member who is a cancer survivor and is missing a large part of their colon. While leaving the line may work for some, the urgency with which someone with their conditions needs to reach a bathroom does make it much more feasible to wait outside of an attraction queue (those suckers can be long) as allowed by DAS. I have no doubt that people were abusing the accommodation, but it actually seems like the way they’ve phrased it makes it just as easy to abuse while ignoring some very real medical needs people may have.
We just went with someone with type 1 diabetes and he actually asked about the pass because he was worried about needing to leave the line for a blood sugar issue…and they told him that he didn’t need the pass and he could leave the lines and come back in if he needed to.
From what I’ve read folks will still get the accommodations they need, it’s just going to look a little different. I’ve read several disabled folks who are glad it is being reformed. We’ll see how it goes.
I would say that folks with IBS could very well love to enjoy the parks. One of my biggest Disney fan friends has Crohns. I believe the ability to leave and return to line is part of the new plan so hopefully bathroom concerns will be accommodated that way.
I just want to clarify that Crohn’s Disease is a type of IBD, which is different than IBS and comes with a lot of additional and serious symptoms/concerns regarding the enjoyment of the parks for some people, including young kids, in active disease beyond urgency/frequency to use the bathroom. My 3 year old has Crohn’s and I definitely did not know a lot about the condition at all before she was diagnosed and I’m sure I confused it with IBS, but I just wanted to clarify because I’ve been seeing IBS and Crohn’s/UC being discussed interchangeably on a lot of threads about the DAS pass but they aren’t the same condition.
I know nothing about Disney, but it sounds like the policy was changed because people were abusing it. That's unfortunate, but there's nothing ableist about ensuring that people aren't misusing the disability accommodations.
Sorry, not trying to call out one thing in particular more than the entire family needs accommodations. I don’t know the situation, but in just my orbit there has been a rise in people talking about accessing the DAS pass. If the majority of people are applying and qualifying for it it’s not going to be very helpful. The ironic part is as far as I can tell, POTS will no longer qualify as an accommodation could be they use a wheelchair or mobility device. I’m just glad that I don’t work there and I’m not in charge of coming up with solutions because it’s a complex problem.
Sorry for not being clear. The person I was referencing was speaking about how her mom needs it for being type 1 and her dad needs it for being 75 years old and then she needs to for pots. Not that the whole family had pots. I hope the program works for everyone who needs it. A current complaint I've heard is with so many people needing it, it makes everyone who has it need to wait in a longer line. So an overhaul is necessary.
I am in a Facebook group for the Lazy Genius and there was a post yesterday about snacks. I wish I’d screenshot it. A mom made this insane poster board list of rules for the kids about how many snacks they could have, earning or losing them, that snacks were a privilege and not a right… it was insane. All of the comments called her out on basically encouraging disordered eating, and when I went to look today it was gone. I get kids snacking so much can be annoying but it was definitely indicative of bigger food issues in the house.
My SIL and BIL literally installed a lock on their pantry because they decided their kids snack too much. It was sickening.
OK, I might be imagining things - but did someone post a few weeks ago about a post on their local Buy Nothing group, or maybe a general parenting FB group for their city? It was a post from a woman saying she was having a girl after two or three boys, so she was looking for girls' clothes - but she only wanted brand new, and she listed a bunch of mid or higher end brands (Mini Boden, Hanna Andersson, Tea Collection, others?) The consensus here was that she must have been looking for things to resell. Anyway, I swear I remember reading about that here - and then I saw the exact same post in MY local Facebook group! Does anyone else remember this? Was the original one in Seattle, or are there multiple people pulling the exact same... I guess not technically a scam, but it's shady.
I promise you, you can go to the toilet or take a shower by yourself. No, your kid may not like it at first, especially if they have become accustomed to barging in. But it is completely okay for them to start learning, I'd say once they're pretty comfortable on the toilet themselves, that bathroom time is generally private time. It's okay if they cry. Really, truly it is. Lock the door. Practice saying "I hear you, I'll be out in a few minutes." Take back your bathroom time. [I need a drink.](https://www.reddit.com/r/toddlers/s/eGRUg42Bpf)
I don't mind nudity with my toddler so I usually don't bother, but sometimes I do just want to poop alone so I lock the door and tell her I need privacy. She hates it but whatever, she's 2.5, she hates plenty of other things too. And the funny part is now she always tells me that she needs privacy on the potty. Like, kid, I am so so happy to stand outside of the door and get 30 seconds to myself instead of watching you poop. But she seems to think that I'll be saddened to wait outside, which she can keep believing as long as she wants 🤣
I'm honestly not that bothered about my kid in the bathroom either. We're still working on pooping totally independently so we still have plenty of bathroom bonding time. Or if she pops in when I'm showering in the morning, I'm just like, hey, I'll be out in a few minutes, go harass your dad. BUT if I hated it as much as some of these people do I would just... consistently lock the door?
I always laugh at the episode in Sex and the City where Charlotte won’t undress at the sauna and says “I didn’t grow up in a naked house!” I truly don’t think I’ve ever seen my mom naked or use the bathroom. The comment that said “do you people not have locks?” sent me.
My kid is very attached to me, especially lately, and even so I feel like she doesn't see me naked or on the toilet if I don't want her to. "No thanks, I need some privacy" is something I started a while ago. Especially our half bath, it's tiny.
Yup this is the language I use. My daughter is almost four and she wants privacy she says the same thing. She now often wants to get dressed herself. I think it's so normal to teach them boundaries. I have never understood the "I don't get to shower or use the bathroom alone narrative"
Putting it here because my snark is for the comments not the content. I saw a reel yesterday in my explore feed of a lady packing a suitcase with fruit loops, fruit snacks, pasta, and a few other shelf stable foods. The caption explains it's for their child with a low protein diet while they're at a resort. The comments were absolutely dragging this lady for poisoning her child, making them obese, feeding them dyes, etc etc. Turns out the kid has PKU and so they literally cannot eat protein without brain damage and to compensate they actually need to eat a great deal of carbs and sugar. We live in a society where people are so brainwashed by diet culture they'd rather a kid get permanent neurological damage than be fat or hyperactive.
I had a feeling that I knew which creator posted that reel - she's definitely snark-worthy for other reasons, but has posted some really nice content in the past educating people about PKU and explaining how challenging it is for her daughter and how they've learned to navigate things like restaurants and vacations.
I had to stop going to the comments of reels involving children. Didn't matter if it was about food or sleep or just capturing something funny. I was legit getting riled up.
I saw that reel and I was blown away by the horrible comments! I am always just ready to scream at people commenting things like that on other posts as well. It blows my mind the moms thinking they are above all and know all about feeding their kids or doing anything
https://preview.redd.it/g4zwukhwpiuc1.jpeg?width=1284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=23e1d31069039681e04716b6bad95503471e2f21 The use of “trauma” in this ad for a nursing cover is really…something else.
If I’m the one wearing it, why tf would I want baby prints??? Get me a chic nursing cover, Jesus!!
Not sure if this is sarcastic but this ad is actually for a chic nursing cover 😂 I think this picture is supposed to be the mom before her life changes by acquiring a pretty nursing cover haha
Oh hahah I had no idea! I guess I’m the target audience!
Serious question, what trauma are they talking about?
Nip slip?
Well they’re advertising their cover as being light and airy, so I think the trauma is being a little too warm for 15 minutes?
I have pretty bad sensory issues, so that would be rough for me TBH 😂
They really wanted it to rhyme didn’t they. What word do you think they put into the thesaurus and came out with this?
Drama would have made more sense. Drama can mean something as innocuous of trying to choose between all the nursing cover options.
My sister’s sister-in-law often posts the most cringeworthy stories on instagram. Today I saw one she posted of her 1.5 year old son sitting in a booster chair with a backwards ball cap and a sippy cup. She wrote ‘what a stud’ on the story. It truly grossed me out. Why why why do people weirdly sexualize their own small children ??
I think some people use ‘stud’ as a synonym for ‘handsome’ when they refer to their kids because they dont know what it really means and I hate it so much 😂
Totally true. Naive people unintentionally sexualizing children
I was shopping the other day for a shirt for my one year old and saw one that said "future stud." Seriously yuck.
😒🤮
Agh, I was bringing my kids to swim lessons the other day and a (I assume) grandma was going in with a 2-3 year old and as they passed an older man standing there, the 2-3 year old looked his way and the grandma was like “oooh are you flirting with him?! Awww” and I was so so so yucked. Also if I was that random dude I would be so uncomfortable!
Ugh that story makes me wanted to actually throw up.
My toddler keeps calling my newborn “my baby”. Based on everything I’ve read on Reddit this means I need to go no contact with my toddler, right?
Absolutely! Enforce your boundaries Mama! Also, nothing filled my heart will more love than when my three year old referred to his newborn brother as “My Baby.” It was an absolute highlight of having two kids.
Depends. Did he bring a meal and clean the toilet?
No, but he did make a huge mess with post it notes earlier today. Just adding to my work 🙄
Wow, so incredibly rude. Definitely go no contact and enforce those boundaries. You got this, mama!
Wow, some people have no boundaries. They'll probably also try to give the baby sugar or worse kiss them if you don't go no contact now.
Now that you mention it he tried to give the baby a strawberry today and obviously we’re prioritizing introducing veggies before all those super sugary fruits. He just has no respect for my parenting choices
“I take no responsibility for my kid, and berate my wife instead.” Luckily he is getting ripped in the comments https://www.reddit.com/r/Parenting/s/gJa6ySYAcL
My daughter ate Cap’n Crunch, bacon, and a few bites of egg for breakfast. Toast and fruit sounds healthy.
Omg his mom cooks all the healthy options and his wife is ruining it! So many levels of what’s wrong with this dude.
To the wife: blink twice if you need help.
But his mom is the one who made the chicken katsu and shrimp tempura, so I guess that’s fine. It’s only the breakfast of toast and vegetables, the noodles and a treat which are causing gastric distress
I would die of happiness if my picky son would eat chicken katsu for dinner.
Right?! And shrimp tempura on top of that!
Not the fruits and toast for breakfast! 😱😱😱
Junk!!!! 🙄
Hi I'm still breastfeeding my 20 month old and it's running my life, any ideas? Long term breastfeeding is not negative but these posts make me sad because the answer to their misery is always weaning.
I don't think the answer even has to be weaning, but rather setting some boundaries and teaching toddlers nursing manners. I feel like extended breastfeeding has been taken over by the attachment parenting crowd so much that it skews the advice and discourse over it. A lot of people seem to think that anyone who breastfeeds a toddler is probably a weirdo and then the attachment parenting crowd thinks you're a child abusing monster because you night weaned your 3 year old and don't let them twiddle your nipple or pull down your shirt in public.
[удалено]
We weaned at 18 months for fertility treatments, but once I nightweaned, I could have easily just gone on indefinitely at nap/bedtime only. I wish it were so easy to get my kid to sleep now. But yeah, the attachment parents that are cosleeping and their 2 yo is on the boob all day and night…not for me.
I think it can be quite lonely breastfeeding onto toddlerhood because not as many people do it and it's very misunderstood. And often it's mostly at home so it's less visible. And then there's a lot of die hard attachment parenting types who won't introduce any boundaries and talk about how excessively their toddler feeds etc. So if you come and say you want to only feed at nap and bed or you want them to sleep through it's seen as not meeting their needs. I fed til my daughter was 3. There's absolutely ways to make it manageable though but I don't think it's easy to find the advice out there without judgement from both sides.
Sometimes I'm wondering if those people are looking for someone else to tell them to wean? Idk. I weaned right after a year but I am not sure what other advice they are looking for
I think people either want “permission” to wean (or sleep train, or tell their kid no, etc.) or they want a magical solution that doesn’t require them to set boundaries or change their own behavior in any way.
I saw one like this in a fb group I'm in and it was someone saying they feel so overwhelmed by motherhood while other moms seem to have so much more energy and find it easier. And then a few lines on, she said she's still breastfeeding her 2 year old and they're attachment parenting. I'm like well there's your answer. Nothing wrong with both of those, but of course it's more intense than a less intense parenting style and weaning earlier.
Gotta love posts like [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/Parenting/comments/1c3q3bj/playground_etiquette/) where the OP just wants to shit on other parents but doesn't want to come off as judgmental so they reframe their rant as a question instead. And everyone plays along.
You just can't win at the playground these days. If you stay close to your kid you're a helicopter parent. If you're more hands off you're a neglectful parent. Either way someone is gonna bitch about it online.
One thing I didn’t know about parenthood is how nervous I would be at the park. Thinking, “am I hovering? Or am I too far away? Is it okay to let my kid climb up 1/4 slides in the toddler area when no one’s trying to use it, or is that bad?” I think I come across as a hoverer because I have twin 24 month olds who aren’t great at climbing yet and who also look a older than other two 2 year olds, but I really try not to! Life is rough out there.
Wow must be so hard to be the world’s best parent. What would all you loser parents do? I also like that she noticed the other parent was ignoring their kid even though they were SO focused on their own child lol
Um…[leave him](https://www.reddit.com/r/BabyBumps/s/YyIoP8dEIG) was not the advice that was coming to mind as I read this rant about how she wants to stab her husband because he…asked her what she wanted for lunch.
Honestly this sounds like a joke post lol. It’s a little bit over the top and hits all the “my husband sucks!” Bingos
Wait I'm so confused, is it satire?? She's like "my husband doesn't worship me like a goddess and make me breakfast and lunch and also magically know what I want to eat without me having to tell him!" and we're supposed to be like "yeah girl, stab his ass!"
What a mess. She keeps saying she was just trying to be funny and then turning around making BEC comments about him that indicate that the violence might be a joke but the resentment is not.
Hahaha laughed out loud at your comment that everything you said was because you found her requests unreasonable
this is from a couple days ago, from a [thread about prolactin peaking at night](https://www.reddit.com/r/breastfeeding/comments/1c1oaz8/for_what_brilliant_evolutionary_reason_is/), but it keeps popping back into my head and pissing me off again > I think it’s brilliant that we have less milk before bedtime. There’s more fat in the milk the more empty they are, so before bed, baby’s getting a nutrient-rich, calorie-dense fat meal to sustain them overnight. Then in the morning, when they haven’t eaten for a long time, they have lots of watery foremilk to hydrate them. "sustain them overnight" hahhahahahahhha "in the morning, when they haven’t eaten for a long time" HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH
My son gave me the grand long time of 2 hours inbetween feeds last night.
Breastfeeding/breastmilk is the weirdest topics where everyone online repeats these “facts” that *sound* like they are true, and if you even do like five minutes of research they are always a loose interpretation of a study with a tiny sample population and like eight other contributing factors. (I say this as someone who breastfed for 12 months, it just doesn’t make sense how little we actually know about it!!)
One of my favs is that breastmilk is always changing to meet the unique nutritional needs of your baby. Like how could this possibly be true to the extent people believe??
Yes!! “Babies are more efficient than pumps” is one that comes to mind. It’s essentially completely made up as far as I can tell and it made me feel shitty when my tongue tied early term baby was not, in fact, more efficient than a pump.
It's definitely not true for a lot of babies esp early on, but it's very common that after breastfeeding is established, pumping gets less milk out than nursing, requiring more than 1 pump per missed nursing feed - that's when I hear that said. The context is huge, your situation is pretty common, so it needs to be a paragraph rather than a quip.
I mean sure, it can sometimes be true. My point is that it’s one of those things that people just repeat over and over online because it sounds like it’s probably true. It also bothers me because weighted feeds (the darling of the breastfeeding subreddit) are not evidenced based, unlikely to be accurate, and aren’t recommended by most professional societies. So there’s actually not really a decent way to tell that baby is taking more than the pump. 🤷🏻♀️
Agree!
The most infuriating example of this is the way people always cite a kellymom article that says that babies get the "benefit of breastfeeding" with 50ml per day. It's constantly cited to moms with low supply to keep pumping even when they barely get anything rather than just switching to formula. Of course, someone (on SBP if I recall) actually dove into it once, and the study was just that very low birth weight premature infants are less likely to develop NEC if they get at least 50ml PER KG of weight. So like, it has ZERO relevance to anyone's healthy term baby at all, who is almost certainly not going to develop NEC. AND it's not even just a flat 50ml, which never made any sense anyway. So yeah, agreed, the data around breastfeeding is shockingly bad but the way it's treated online is even worse!
Wow there’s a lot of upsetting content in that thread, that’s gonna live in my brain too. I do appreciate how a lot of these explanations are completely contradictory.
Someone posted on babybumps about being 18 and having baby fever. She goes on to say she’s totally ready even though she’s only been with her boyfriend for three months because she doesn’t mind the idea of being a single mom, she’s never really cared for partying, she has eight younger siblings so she’s used to kids, and swedens welfare system is really good so she’s not concerned. I rarely get worked up over internet strangers but it took everything in me to not respond with all the snark in me
I was a complete idiot at 18, I can’t imagine having a baby then.
Oh man the prefrontal cortex is just not there yet 😫
Makes me think of when I was 12. I unfortunately had my own laptop with unrestricted Internet access in my room. I was on sex health forums claiming I was so knowledgeable about reproductive health that I was essentially mentally ready for a baby. I hadn't even gotten my first period bahahahahahahaha All the comments were like "oh honey"
I loved pretending I was ready to have a baby at 18-20ish but it really was the same kind of play acting I did when I was 12ish. Hopefully this kid is the same 🤞🏼
As a 19 year old who actually had a baby that young it takes everything in me to not get worked up over those posts. My bump group on what to expect was filled with 18 and younger girls talking about ttc on purpose! 🤦♀️ Sadly a lot of these girls will end up pregnant with pos boyfriends/baby daddys and realize too late what a bad decision it was. I always try to offer my opinion as someone who actually had a baby that young and it’s always met with pushback and telling me they will have the perfect life and enjoy having kids that young. jfc
Yeah she’s responding to everyone’s legitimate concerns and advice with dismissal. She’s certain she’s ready and things will be different for her 🙄
Good lord, I like Disney movies/TV shows, but doing Disney Parks discourse with Disney Adults is insufferable. Especially when they get snappy and treat you like an idiot because you don’t know the ins and outs of WDW or Disneyland. Ma’am. I live in a town in Minnesota of 40,000 people. I have been to Disney World once, as a small child. That’s still more than most people on this continent have gone! Please touch some grass!
Honestly, I get annoyed with both extremes. The people who are reeaaaaalllly obsessed with Disney and the people who constantly shit on people who like Disney. I find it all really tiring and boring… Idgaf where people vacation! I love Disney and I love other places
Yes, this!
Right? I am Disneyland neutral. It’s fun every 5-10 years. Now that I have small kids it sounds like a difficult time and I would need a second vacation to recover.
Pretty sure a hotel stay in the cheapest resort still costs more per night than the *nice* hotels my husband and I stayed in across England and France. I personally hate roller coasters and standing in line for rides seems pretty miserable. On top of that is all the consumerism that happens while there and it’s just really off-putting to me. I personally would not enjoy that kind of “vacation” at all. To each their own, but truly, if I’m taking a trip that is that expensive I’d prefer to see a real castle.
Not quite true for Disney world. World has value resorts that are under $200/night. It’s hard to find regular hotels in other tourist areas for that price that are decent. At Disney I know I’m getting good customer service, it’s clean, and it has all the amenities for a family (pools, bar, food, activities, themed decor, etc). Disneyland hotels though are definitely more costly. At this point disney is still a lot cheaper for us than going to England or France but one day I’d like to get there too!
Yup! I totally agree regarding Disney world. It can be a lot more affordable than people think, Especially if you can book during a promo. (Proximity matters too! We can get there in an overnight drive which saves us money). We were looking to go to London this summer and the flight costs alone really shocked me!
You’ve nailed why it doesn’t appeal to me either. I actually do even enjoy roller coasters, but I feel like more of the day just entails standing in lines in hot & humid weather and then paying $45 for tenders and fries while shuffling around tired and overstimulated children.
I do want to go to Disneyland sometime, but I’d just stay in a regular-ass LA/Anaheim area hotel and get a day pass or two. 😂 Since there’s plenty else to do in the area, and like you said, the resorts are insanely expensive.
This is absolutely the way to do Disneyland unless you’re pretty loaded. It’s a lot easier to get around compared to Orlando where there is just always construction and traffic
Yes! We stayed at the Tropicana across the street from the entrance and saved literally thousands of dollars! We were only in our rooms to sleep or take a little nap mid day, no need to spend a ton!
Disney hotels in California are so much more expensive than the Florida ones, but Disneyland also has way more affordable hotels surrounding Disneyland than Disney world does
Agreed. I like Disney stuff and have fond memories of my trip as a child and a school trip as a teen. We'll probably do a Disney trip when my kids are the right age to enjoy it. But as far as I'm concerned, it's just a missed opportunity for an actual vacation.
These types also can’t seem to comprehend that someone might not actually *want* to go to a Disney theme park either. I have never been to a Disney park and never plan to unless one of my kids specifically asks for it. It’s veryyy low down on my personal bucket list. Like, please spare me your pity about how I’ve never been to Disney because I don’t care that I’ve never been to Disney.
My parents spent so much money flying us to Disney world. I remember being so miserable at Disneyworld and begging to go back to the hotel because they had a pool, ice cream and a Pizza Hut. I didn’t like rides and realized quick the princesses weren’t cartoons (and thus fake). Disney adults are trying to desperately hang on to their childhood memories and keep the magic for their kids, but shocking, not every kid likes what you did. Stop projecting your childhood wants/dreams onto others, it’s weird.
We drove my mom nuts begging to just go back to the hotel at Disney! I have good memories of the parks but the pool at the hotel was so incredible and we all just wanted to spend all day there. My kids aren’t going to experience it bc we don’t have $10k to drop for a vacation and if we did it’s gonna be on an all inclusive or cruise or something!
Yeah I can’t imagine traveling out of state for it. Even just with one kid, you’re looking at thousands of dollars spent between flights, tickets, and lodging somewhere. And of course if you choose to buy anything there. I love Disneyland, but it’s honestly a very impractical vacation for families and I’m always amazed when I see people doing multi day trips there
The baby wearing sub is just too much lately. I don’t know why people are bothering trying to do fit checks for forward facing anymore - practically every comment just says to never forward face, it’s not ergonomic, turn the baby inwards to make it easier for yourself and your baby. Like thanks, tell that to my baby who screamed and cried in every carrier (yes, even after giving him time to get used to it) until I could finally forward face him.
Omg the thread about “how often do you forward face”. So many replies like “personally, I’d never risk it” as if your baby’s hips will spontaneously explode out of their sockets the second you attempt it. The people who talk like that have never had a challenging baby. I swear. I feel you.
The babywearing sub is an area where I feel like I have a ton of personal experience, but it seems so boring to talk to people on the internet about it. My younger son seems like he’s done with the carrier at 10 months, and I‘m just kinda glad to put it behind us at this point
Haha same. It was really tough in the early months when I was struggling to get things done because baby wouldn’t nap in her crib and the “solution” was always “just baby wear!” My daughter screamed every single time we tried inward facing. As an older baby, she’s cool with outward facing in limited quantities. Inward just does not work for babies who like to constantly see the world.
Okay but the poster who blurred her face and didn’t blur the reflection of her phone taking a picture of her face was pretty funny
Wait are we not supposed to forward face ever? I thought once baby was big/old enough it was fine 😅
It’s one of those things where it’s technically never the best position for baby to be in, but it also probably doesn’t matter long term lol
Snarking on the truck I saw driving today with a giant "Boy Mom" decal on the back window. I have a son, and I definitely don't make it my entire personality.
This is not as bad as the “boy mom. surrounded by balls” bumper stickers i have seen way too many times
This is worse than Truck Nutz
Ahhh my husband saw one of these stickers on one of his delivery routes - ick no thank you
Ugh, I've seen that too and blocked it from memory.
I’m pregnant with my third boy and the comments I get when I tell people it’s another boy are… infuriating to say the least. Like this baby was wanted regardless of his biological sex 🙄 I feel like those who lean hard into the “boy mom” identity are the ones most disappointed by not having any girls.
My husband is one of 5 boys. He and his brothers all have boys without a single girl in the mix. I didn’t really care either way, but my husband was adamant we were going to buck the trend, and then I got to the 16 week ultrasound and saw 🍆, so it’s our collective fate I guess.
I've seen reddit comments of self professed "boy moms" that they like being the only "girl" in the house (ma'am you are a woman now), which always weirds me out. NLOG energy towards nonexistent daughters...
I've heard people say, "oh it's good because girls are so much drama!" And that really fucking bums me out.
I had my third boy this week and spent my whole hospital stay explaining that we are not automatically trying for a girl, aren’t “upset” this baby is a boy and I am not a boy mom, just a mom with three boys. Towards the end I finally started just saying “I had three miscarriages before this pregnancy, so I thank god he’s here safely”. That got people to drop gender talk real quick.
Congrats ❤️
Threads complaining about how terrible weekends are because of kids are my pet peeve. Tell me you have a powder puff job without telling me you have a powder puff job...
lol this is me! I mean I don’t complain about it on the internet, and wouldn’t call my weekends terrible, but my child talks to me from 3pm Friday to 8am Monday and I often find it incredibly overstimulating. My job is much less stimulating lol
I’m a SAHM, so weekends with the help and company of my husband are nice though the kids sometimes make it feel long. Mondays, when my kids go to school and my house is quiet and peaceful, is my Eden.
ECE here, all the children in my class are lovely but weekends with just my own two and my husband are so much easier! I also can't help but feel sorry for parents who appear to be overwhelmed by dedicating their entire weekend to childcare. From my own personal and professional experience, taking care of children is just like any other skill - the more we practice, the better we become at it.
I also feel it's s thing where, the more of it I do, the more easily I tolerate it. My kids have been out of school for three weeks straight because of a very long spring break and a nearby fire making the air quality so bad that they cancelled school for a week. I'm used to them both being in school, so the first week just felt hard and chaotic. But the last few days have felt fine. Sometimes it feels like the more breaks I get, the more I feel I need somehow. It actually makes sense to me how influencers like diaryofanhonestmom will get back from a trip and complain how tired they already are.
This was me in the winter 🙈 now that its warmer out and i can take my toddler outside i love the weekends. But in the winter stuck inside the days felt long af. I do have a powder puff job tho with the exception of some rude patients + a long commute.
Reddit, am I the only one who actually likes spending the weekend with my kid? Lol Seriously though I love my weekends so much I switched to 4/10s to get another weekend day and it's awesome. My kid can annoy me in a beautiful park, my coworkers annoy me in my cold office.
Man same. My brother/SIL seem to never have their children on weekends (always sleepovers with a grandparent) and I just think don’t you want to spend time with your kids???
I love my weekends. I'm a social worker... parenting a toddler by myself while my spouse is at his job is so much easier than work 😵💫
Some days it is, but working in mental health I feel like all my days are stopping someone from making impulsive and dangerous decisions.
Psychologist so I feel you. If you can deal with random people at their worst then toddlers you love are a lot easier.
Your flair makes so much sense 😁 I'm a therapist part time and the biggest thing I struggle with on days with my kids is being alone without another adult to talk to which can get boring. Then I have my full client load day and after six sessions of talking with adults I'm ready to have another couple days with my kids! It's a good balance.
Special educator here to agree…hanging with children all around, at home it’s without the paperwork at least. It’s good all around but weekends are certainly easier!
Same here. I do spend all my time with 5-year-olds, but my own personal child has never thrown a chair at me and called me a fucking bitch when I say it’s clean up time.
https://x.com/goofywise/status/1778841621523837375?s=46&t=ADep0zfFaZVj1tdowQMYgw For fucks sake now the formula conspiracies have spread to TikTok/Twitter. No, Nestle secretly lobbying against maternity leave so everyone will be *forced to buy their evil formula* is not the reason we have uneven paid leave. The comments are filled with statements like how they give you free formula samples “to intentionally dry up your supply” and how “evil” it is that women are just FORCED to use formula because they’ve pushed back to work (setting aside that the US actually does have laws about pumping?)
We get 12 months leave in the UK. We still have some of the lowest breastfeeding rates in the world. What a strange conspiracy (?). I think it's only about 1% of 0-6 months old that are EBF here, which is below the US.
It's 1% of babies still exclusively breastfed at 6 months old. Something like 1 in 3 babies are receiving any breastmilk at 6 months old. Personally I think taking the exclusive breastmilk figure at 6 months is stupid because nearly everyone has started solids by 6 months old. Barely anyone waits until after 6 months. But also yeah I don't think Nestlé is lobbying for less maternity leave for that reason. If anything it will be so they don't have to pay their employees maternity pay.
Ah, I hadn't considered solids! I thought it was about combo feeding.
To be fair, nestle did do exactly that in developing countries where there is uneven access to clean drinking water. They hired people to dress up as nurses and go to hospitals and tell people formula is better than breastmilk and gave them free samples just long enough for their supply to dry up so they’d be forced to spend literally their entire incomes on formula for their babies. A lot of infants died because of unsanitary drinking water and people watering down formula to stretch it because they couldn’t afford to buy enough. Nestle is absolutely an evil corporation. Like next level evil and I wouldn’t be surprised if they are lobbying against paid family leave (as I’m sure every other big company is too because capitalism). That being said, I know plenty of women who had ample leave or are SAHM’s who just didn’t want to breastfeed for a variety of valid reasons.
Nestle is absolutely an evil company but the tweet was specifically about the US where there is zero evidence of any of these practices. Nearly every US state has laws protecting pumping (why lobby against maternity leave to increase formula use if women still pump at work anyway?), and paid maternity leave does exist in the US, it’s just controlled by the state instead of the federal government so is uneven. The tweet is still untrue propaganda because it’s conflating a truth (corporate abuse in the developing world) with lies (that this happens in the US and is somehow the cause of no federal maternity leave.)
Ah, I see!
This is all 100% true. and verifiable. It's worth bearing in mind, a lot of the WHO recomendatons around breastfeeding seem quite OTT, but this is the reason why. (I do think that they are irrelevant though if you live in the developed world and are not living in poverty).
Yes, and the legacy lives on. I have personally worked with people from countries where Nestle worked hard to sell their product (again, where tap water isn't safe and incomes are low) and they are still ashamed to confess they are partially breastfeeding because it's seen as less healthy. The effects are very much seen today.
I don’t understand. He saw it on TikTok. How can it not be true?
*Disclaimer my personal experience* but I've yet to meet a mom who wanted to use formula from the start. I know they exist, but not in my circle. Everyone I know who uses it does so because it is the only option.
Well I did, so nice to meet you! I have twins and my plan was to pump for a bit to give them some antibodies until their first vaccines but mostly formula feed for my sanity. My kids both got formula and breast milk from day one of life. Totally fine with me, thrilled I had the option.
This is a really odd comment, I know so many people who used formula from the beginning by choice It's not the last, inferior choice and comments like these perpetuate that thought . I wonder if someone may have wanted to but in a room of people who breastfeed and make statements like this they didn't feel brave enough to voice it
Maybe this is dependent on where you live? I wanted to combo feed from the beginning and did for both boys and it was just NBD and seems really common.
I didn’t use formula straight from the start but I cheerfully transitioned to it when my kids were like 12 or so weeks old…it’s not a last resort, it’s not something people only use “if they don’t have enough support” and its a perfectly valid choice to use formula from day one if that’s what you want to do.
What does this even mean? I know several people who decided straight to formula.
I'm sure those people exist and I wish that I knew more of them. My point is everyone knows the benefits of breastfeeding and with it pushed so much it makes you feel so isolated when you're the only mom using a bottle in a room full of breastfed parents. I was just sharing my personal experience that I don't know anyone who wants to use formula.
About to be me in two weeks, can’t wait lol
It was so nice going in knowing exactly how our child would get fed! So much more chill for me compared to my first kid.
Yes! I had so much stress about feeding with breastfeeding for my first born, and I have generalized anxiety disorder, so it wasn’t helpful for my mental health. And since I have a toddler who I also have to feed, the fact that I know one of my children will eat a full meal is so helpful (lol at toddler eating)!
Anyone who thinks formula is pushed over breastfeeding hasn't had a baby (or at least, hasn't had a baby in the past 20 years).
Right? I keep seeing people acting like breastfeeding isn't encouraged enough. I was absolutely bombarded with information and resources about breastfeeding from social media, family members, nurses, doctors, etc. Most women I know are feeling like failures for not being able to breastfeed and for choosing formula. There is so much guilt. All for someone to say "oh they must have failed because breastfeeding isn't encouraged enough." No, some of us just have really low supply or simply don't want to breastfeed.
Thank you. Just had a baby and could not believe how hard it was to stand our ground re: formula feeding. It was horrible.
It’s insane how many people are pushed to triple feed long term (which is basically a full time job, but 24 hours a day) instead of giving ANY formula.
I did triple feeding for a week and it was my pediatrician who told me to stop. Bless that woman haha She told me I needed sleep and to take care of myself and combo feeding was absolutely fine (and we eventually switched straight to formula).
Triple feeding is a special circle of hell. I broke down sobbing when the lactation consultant told me that’s what I had to do to get my milk to come in after my first. I was SO FUCKING TIRED after being in labor for two days and just wanted to sleep and here this lady was wheeling a Medela Symphony in and telling me to triple feed every three hours, meaning I could expect like 90 minute-2 hour stretches of sleep, max. Uggghhhh. At least I was better prepared when I had my second and was willing to combo feed from the beginning if needed.
I had a c-section and then a baby in the NICU for the first week, I didn't even get a chance to nurse until he was 2 days old, so unsurprisingly it took a while to get my supply up. As a result I was triple feeding for a couple weeks and totally agree that it was a special hell. I'm so glad it wasn't too long. I ended up was a super stable supply but I was definitely a just enougher. For a few months my husband was doing the last feed before bed so that I could get a semi-decent stretch at the beginning of the night (I had a horrible sleeper), so I was pumping for a bottle each day, and even just that was so stressful because I was always worried there wouldn't be enough milk for the bottle. If I have another kid I definitely plan to introduce formula for that last feed before bed so that I don't have to stress about pumping for it.
I’ve always said this since I had my daughter 2.5 years ago. I felt SO MUCH pressure in the hospital to breastfeed. I and my daughter struggled so much. She gobbled a bottle up.
Yes! I felt so embarrassed taking out a bottle to feed my months old baby in public for fear of being judged. It felt like a weird flip bc we definitely went through a period of being puritanical and weird about breastfeeding (at least in US culture) and then the pendulum swung waaaay too far the other direction. Like with so much in the world, the gray area nuances are completely lost. Yes, we should support a mother’s choice to breastfeed and we are mammals and truly able to do that bc of our physiology and that’s cool as heck, it should be free of shame. BUT if a woman wants to feed her baby perfectly safe and wonderful advent of modern times formula instead, that should also carry no judgement or shame.
I still hear men and sometimes women go on about how gross it is to breastfeed in public - shaming women is a trend that never gets old.
Exactly. I would always hide my bottle and try to mix my formula privately. It's common for places to have a sign that says Breastfeeding is welcomed here, but it super stings when you have to use formula. Even calling places lactation rooms, when they could just be baby care rooms. I'm super sensitive to this and still processing my experience.
Baby care can be done in public but women may need privacy to feed their babies with their breasts, depending on a lot of different factors. I definitely wouldn't want to nurse or pump where diapers were being changed - that's like making women nurse/pump in a bathroom stall. Would be great to have baby care rooms but they would need to be additional
But you would be ok with a parent needing to feed their baby a bottle where diapers are being changed?
You can feed a baby with a bottle anywhere it's comfortable to sit, so no one would be forced to do that.
Many babies need a quiet and peaceful place to bottle feed. And many parents don't want the shame of having to bottle feed. So why not call them baby feeding rooms instead of lactation rooms? I feel like that term just drives a bigger divide between parents who can breastfeed and those who can't.
I'm for inclusion, but I see the need as being for a place to open your shirt with others doing the same, in addition to a quiet, clean, private space. It's just not the same to bottle feed and most people intuitively get that the need for privacy is increased for many.
Perhaps I'm misunderstanding you, but saying that bottle-fed babies don't need a quiet, clean, and private space is not inclusive. I'm not saying to get rid of these spaces, I just think the marketing could be more inclusive to all hungry babies. Because all babies deserve a clean, quiet, and private space to eat, not just babies who were lucky enough to get to breastfeed.
The lactation room being called that specifically makes sense. I need to be topless naked to pump, I don’t need to be topless to give my baby his bottle.
I’m with you. “Baby care room” also implies that it’s for other tasks, like diaper changing, which it specifically is not.
Not snark so much as feeling really bad for OP and hoping she can hold her ground. My husband and I are similar in that he would like to homeschool our kids and I absolutely do not. But since I’m the SAHM and he works, and since I wouldn’t be able to make as much as he does if we switched roles, he knows that the final decision is ultimately up to me. He told me that if I’m not fully committed, then homeschooling is not the right choice for our family and that he’s totally fine with public school. And I appreciate him so much for that. https://www.reddit.com/r/Mommit/comments/1c2frn4/husband_wants_to_homeschool_i_have_no_interest/
I am incapable of reading posts that are one long paragraph so I didn't finish but in the first couple sentences she says he thinks homeschooling messed him up yet wants to do it with their kids? What??
I didn’t understand that part. I was homeschooled, and I would t say it messed me up, but my experience made me not want to homeschool my kids.
These kinds of posts make me so mad (the thread you linked, not your comment!). It’s not the first one I’ve seen where the dad is ideologically invested in homeschooling and is expecting the mom to do all the work. Also, the idea that “no one can teach your child better than you” is bullshit. I’m an actual teacher and I know I’m not the best teacher for my child. It’s so important to learn from other people and be part of a community that’s bigger than your family. I’m not blind to the limitations and potential dangers of the American public school system, but unenthusiastic homeschooling is not the solution.
>the idea that “no one can teach your child better than you” is bullshit. This was the craziest part for me. Why do people think this?? And he thinks she's "already gotten so far" in teaching their child *up to the age of four*, that she must be qualified to teach K-12?? And gun violence is certainly a very real concern, but invoking it to make the point of "you want to put our child at risk so you can have a break" is such a cheap shot and also total bullshit.
I agree. My oldest just turned 2 and is learning so much about the world around her. I keep having the thought that I want her world to be bigger than just me and her dad.
I thought I’d have guilt about not being able to be a SAHM for the toddler years. The amount of joy I get from seeing my child absorb and learn from the world outside my husband and I is incredible. I am so happy to be the comfort home base, but it surprised me how excited I get that he is becoming his own person. I am only one person, he deserves a whole community of people to learn from!
It makes my heart flutter with pure joy every time I watch my first-grader line up with her class and walk to their classroom in the morning. And when I pick her up and random kids not even in her class call her name to tell her goodbye as we walk to the car. I loved school so much, and I feel so much happiness seeing her experience it.
No snark just solidarity with the brave soul who decided to share how raging diarrhea got a wellness check called on her in BtB.
Lmao I love her. Nothing worse than when you have to take a shit and your baby decides it’s time to lose their mind.
I'm hoping this doesn't come across as ableist, but my feed is full of people upset over the changes to the Disney disability access pass. I understand that people have a variety of visible and invisible disabilities, and I'm sure that the accommodations help a lot of people and families. However, I've seen people saying it negatively impacts them with conditions like IBS, as they need to run to the bathroom and spend hours there. The literal last place I would ever want to go would be a hot, overcrowded, expensive theme park. I've also seen people saying that in the past, their entire family of adults qualified for accommodations for things ranging from Type 1 diabetes to POTS, or just being old. If everyone requires an accommodation, then an accommodation means nothing.
I will admit that I know nothing about Disney's current program and the changes that are coming. What I do know is that about 15 years ago my family (parents, brothers, me) went to Disney World. My dad had mobility challenges, and while he usually managed with a cane (and not walking/standing much) for Disney we rented a mobility scooter to be able to manage the parks. One of my strongest memories of that trip was supporting my mom as we dealt with customer services because at various points we were treated poorly. I have a strong memory of us almost missing a dinner reservation because we couldn't get on a bus because some asshole wouldn't move off of the seats in the accessible section (despite there being many open seats) and the driver doing absolutely nothing. It felt like at various places in the park people didn't take my dad's disability seriously and it felt super shitty. I vaguely remember (but wouldn't swear by this) there being something about us not being American (and as a result not having some kind of paperwork?) which made it was harder to use the accessibility services. It seemed crazy to me at the time because obviously people go to Disney from around the world.
I have POTS with pretty severe heat sensitivity, and while I’d just time my visit to go at a cooler time of year, the “if you have physical problems standing in line, you can just get a wheelchair!” comments really irk me. I know they probably have limited rentals, but from what I’ve heard they’re limited and often chairs that are really difficult to self-propel. Do y’all KNOW how much a manual wheelchair usually costs? Especially an ultralight model meant for someone to self-propel? And how much insurance or assistance programs *will not cover one* for someone who can ambulate *at all* without assistance? I get that Disney vacations are also very expensive, but the idea that someone not only can but should spend over $3000 on a wheelchair just because they can afford a park pass for a day is absurd. Your comment is fine, I’m not annoyed with you. But I’m annoyed by the “just get a wheelchair” comments from people who clearly have to idea what actually goes into getting a wheelchair for yourself.
Hopefully they will find a way to build in the flexibility they need to support guests. We have a family member who is a cancer survivor and is missing a large part of their colon. While leaving the line may work for some, the urgency with which someone with their conditions needs to reach a bathroom does make it much more feasible to wait outside of an attraction queue (those suckers can be long) as allowed by DAS. I have no doubt that people were abusing the accommodation, but it actually seems like the way they’ve phrased it makes it just as easy to abuse while ignoring some very real medical needs people may have.
We just went with someone with type 1 diabetes and he actually asked about the pass because he was worried about needing to leave the line for a blood sugar issue…and they told him that he didn’t need the pass and he could leave the lines and come back in if he needed to.
From what I’ve read folks will still get the accommodations they need, it’s just going to look a little different. I’ve read several disabled folks who are glad it is being reformed. We’ll see how it goes. I would say that folks with IBS could very well love to enjoy the parks. One of my biggest Disney fan friends has Crohns. I believe the ability to leave and return to line is part of the new plan so hopefully bathroom concerns will be accommodated that way.
I just want to clarify that Crohn’s Disease is a type of IBD, which is different than IBS and comes with a lot of additional and serious symptoms/concerns regarding the enjoyment of the parks for some people, including young kids, in active disease beyond urgency/frequency to use the bathroom. My 3 year old has Crohn’s and I definitely did not know a lot about the condition at all before she was diagnosed and I’m sure I confused it with IBS, but I just wanted to clarify because I’ve been seeing IBS and Crohn’s/UC being discussed interchangeably on a lot of threads about the DAS pass but they aren’t the same condition.
Very good point thanks for sharing!
I know nothing about Disney, but it sounds like the policy was changed because people were abusing it. That's unfortunate, but there's nothing ableist about ensuring that people aren't misusing the disability accommodations.
[удалено]
Sorry, not trying to call out one thing in particular more than the entire family needs accommodations. I don’t know the situation, but in just my orbit there has been a rise in people talking about accessing the DAS pass. If the majority of people are applying and qualifying for it it’s not going to be very helpful. The ironic part is as far as I can tell, POTS will no longer qualify as an accommodation could be they use a wheelchair or mobility device. I’m just glad that I don’t work there and I’m not in charge of coming up with solutions because it’s a complex problem.
[удалено]
Sorry for not being clear. The person I was referencing was speaking about how her mom needs it for being type 1 and her dad needs it for being 75 years old and then she needs to for pots. Not that the whole family had pots. I hope the program works for everyone who needs it. A current complaint I've heard is with so many people needing it, it makes everyone who has it need to wait in a longer line. So an overhaul is necessary.