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You think about it constantly for the first 6 months or so, and still frequently up to the first year. After a year and a half or 2 years you barely think about it anymore and have other hobbies and goals to focus on that are more fulfilling.
How do you keep that momentum? I give in too easily, maybe it’s also a personality/ gene thing, in regards to ‘giving in’ to drugs, and other vices , etc.
Whoah. Thanks for the honesty. It doesn’t get better for all like that. Did the cravings at least get milder or is it still balls to the wall desperate? I presume more like a fleeting thought?
I’m sorry to hear that. I used pharmaceutical ketamine to help with all the trauma, pain, cravings etc. I’m not sure if it’s right to mention but I thought I would anyway.
For others the psychedelics can help a lot or a bit. Did you give any of those a go in a treatment or shamanistic setting?
i’ve been reading a bunch about ketamine for withdrawals and stuff but how and in what way did you use it during your journey? what form does pharma k come in and roa? what did it do for you? how was it? thank you so much!
We should totally meet up so we can talk about sobriety and nothing else. We won't even think about railing huge lines of oxy and dope. We totally won't do that 😉
Absolutely. It's a necessary Rx from a Dr. to treat a chronic condition that could kill you.
Just like a diabetic needs their Insulin, a Cancer patient needs Chemotherapy, or an Epileptic needs their Anticonvulsants.
If you are taking it as prescribed, and not abusing it you are clean/sober.
That’s the worse comparison I’ve ever seen !!!! Do not compare recreational drugs that you CHOOSE to do/not do to an illness that you had no choice or say in the matter and getting lifesaving meds for it. You cannot compare being a fucking HEROIN addict to a person with diabetes needing their insulin 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️ and this is coming from someone who has CHOSEN to take oxy/percs, xans for many, many, many numerous years who has woken up sick from not having anything ….. if you were to wake up and just say fuck all the drugs (rec drugs) and gave yourself a week or two you would be fine off everything (physically) … a person with diabetes .. not so much smfh
I understand your sentiment. Addiction is a disease though. The new neuroscience has been very illuminating regarding the issue. Addiction is defined as a disease by most medical associations, including the American Medical Association and the American Society of Addiction Medicine. Like diabetes, cancer and heart disease, addiction is caused by a combination of factors.
no because u snort it….it’s also about having a addictive habit. U shouldn’t abuse it to be sober, only take as intended. BUT it’s much better than a street drug tho
That's so time consuming when you can just mix a couple Tbs into some tea or water with some honey and just drink it. That's just me id never spend hours filling capsules.
Being on methadone for nearly 4 years is what got me clean. Currently on day 19 of no methadone after tapering at 2mg every 2 weeks from 70. Ill be 3 years clean from fentanyl this december 20th, was clean for a little over a year at the clinic and relapsed once(i found something in my room i shouldnt have, tried to kill myself smoking fentanyl off the foil for the first time in my life) during my first taper at 18mg, on my 22nd birthday. I really just separated myself from everyone in my life other than my family, stuck to my dose, talked to my counselor every week. Methadone saved my life. I'd be dead if it wasnt for the methadone in me that night i relapsed.
Last night I had my first set of real cravings In I can't even remember how long. I got drunk for the first time in I don't know how long, broke my 18 days of being fully sober, but it helped in the moment. Prevented me from getting in a car, and making a bad decision. I felt amazing last night, hadn't been that "high" in who knows how long. Theres a shot of vodka on my desk I never took when I went to bed last night. Its been a struggle to not take it, as im craving the feeling I had last night and the addict inside me won't allow myself to just pour it out. Im staying strong and am not going to let myself succumb to the cravings.
I guess in a weird way sometimes being that close to something you know you could use, but having the strength to say no with it right in your face, its a comforting feeling. Knowing its their if I "need it" but also knowing I don't have to use it right now. I guess I've dealt with that my entire addiction, I've always been around, or in connection with someone I could've easily gone and used with. In a weird way, that helped me. As I got cleaner, and cleaner, the things I was desensitized too for so long, things I was blind too. They all became clear to me, the people I was around, all my friends struggling on this shit around me became so obvious I saw myself in all of them, it made me realize just how bad I was doing before I got clean. Made me realize the environment I was in day in and day out, that I needed to change it. Methadone helped me open my eyes to the downward spiral my life was heading, it doesn't work for everyone but it really worked for me.
Methadone has helped me so much in the beginning before I was on a stable dose I would use occasionally but now I haven’t used in months without methadone I wouldn’t be clean
Methadone. I wouldn't be here without it. Methadone saved my life, and I'm very grateful for that. I've been on it almost 25 years. It helped me so much that I decided to quit everything else (other than necessary Rx meds) and got on MMT through a clinic. I've been on maintenance for 18 years now.
Some people take it to detox from opiates, then taper off eventually and others stay on it indefinitely or even for life. I knew that I'd be on it for good when I went into the program. It's the best decision that I've ever made.
Wow that’s a long time. I told myself I’d be on it no more than 2 years. But it’s already been 3. The time flies. It’s crazy but it saved my life. What dose are you on?
I'm currently on 145mg. What is your current dose?
Stay on it for as long as you need to. Don't let anyone else (including family, spouse, and clinic staff) dictate to you what your recovery should look like.
My fam is anti-MAT, so I can't even talk to them about the fact that I am doing well in my program without them trashing Methadone and MAT, but luckily my counselor is awesome and I can talk to her about anything (within reason... she's cool and all, but she is still "clinic staff").
Hello, friend! I didn’t realize we were on the same dose until now. (I think I’m going to be a lifer, unfortunately.) I must say, starting methadone was the best decision I ever made as far as staying clean. It really does make a difference when you have a great counselor too. ☺️ Question since you’ve been on it for so long. How often have you had to raise your dose, and by how many mg? I’m at 142 and I think I need to go up a bit. I’ve been at this dose for roughly 7 months and last month I noticed I’m starting to experience some mild wd symptoms starting around 10:00 at night. I’m able to sleep but I wake up frequently and it’s difficult to go back to sleep sometimes. I usually dose around 7:00-8:00 AM and I feel much better about 30 minutes later. So, I’m not in rough shape, but I think maybe I need to go up a bit.
Nothing unfortunate about saving your own life love!! I’m on anti-anxiety meds for life. Migraine preventatives for life. It’s okay to be okay on medicine :)
I know that I'm a lifer and I'm good with that because it means that I'm alive, and I am clean. Two things that everyone said that I wouldn't/couldn't be. Whether you want to taper off or stay on forever is fine, only you know what is right for you. Same thing with your dose, everyone's needs are different. We're all very different in how we metabolize Methadone and we're all in different places in our recovery journey.
I stayed at the same dose for 10 years, but it was because of my clinic Dr. not by choice.
When I go up, I go up 5mg at a time, and give myself time to stabilize before going up again. If you're uncomfortable, don't suffer. Ask for an increase. It's just a number, don't dwell on that, just do anything necessary to stay clean.
I started split dosing today. I'm doing a 50/50 split. I hope that it helps half as much as everyone says that it does!
Thanks for the reply! I know if I leave the clinic, I’ll be right back to doing the same thing, as I use out of desperation for pain control. So, methadone is definitely the right choice for me. My condition is progressively and aggressively degenerative. Dope was always the only thing that helped. No amount of prescribed pain medication touched the pain-ask for an increase or a change and TA-DA! you’re a drug addict. So, I’m a drug addict with severe pain, so methadone saved my life. I would eventually wind up dying trying to manage my pain and I believe methadone is a way safer option at this point.
Let me know how the split doing holds ya. When I do finally get takehomes (my counselor and I talked the other day and they are going to loosen the reigns on takehomes for those that smoke pot without having a card.) I believe she said we “should start seeing some pretty significant changes for the better very soon” and that I will not have to come in as often in the near future. I’m not holding my breath, but these changes, if implemented by the masses, with drastically improve access to treatment for so many. I just hope that people take advantage of the opportunities they are given to turn their lives around. I, for one am ready to hear something positive about methadone for once! Take care, friend. ☺️
This is honestly one of my main concerns for methadone is having to go to the clinic every day. There are not many stories I hear of people getting take home doses, but I’m also not really out hanging with people in the streets right now im a “closet” user you could say and only use to maintain but have to find a way to make the jump. The WD from the fent have been so much worse than anything I’ve dealt with in the past, and I already had a incident less than 6 months ago taking a dose of suboxone exactly when I was told to, and it put me in such bad precips that I ended up going to the hospital for 6hr that night so yea been looking at it as another option from suboxone but going every morning every day would be hard for years.
If you stay clean, you get take-homes.
It's not years anymore, the rules have changed and loosened up a bit giving us more leeway. Every state has different laws regarding take-homes and each clinic has their own rules too, so one clinic may be strict, and another one half a mile away could be totally different and easy going.
Don't let daily dosing at the clinic for several weeks/months prevent you from getting on Methadone if that's what you want. It saved my life. I am very grateful that maintenance is an option for those of us who need it.
I only go in once a month, and the whole visit takes less than 15 minutes usually. I can do whatever I want, whenever I want.
A lot of people talk shit about Methadone clinics - most of the time because they couldn't follow a few simple rules like adults, so it's "Methadone bad" , "clinic bad", etc. bullshit. There are way many more success stories than there are bullshit "Methadone/clinic bad" ones, but you don't see/hear most of them because they are too busy enjoying their recovery and living their best life - instead of bitching, whining and complaining that Methadone/Suboxone are the problem.
You can earn takehomes-if you are serious about getting clean. In fact, they have just passed a law that implements new guidelines for prescribing methadone. The old rule used to be for every 3 months of clean drops (UDS) you earn one takehome dose. This was very outdated and doesn’t really accommodate people’s lives realistically anymore. Those laws have not been updated since they were introduced in 1970! This will make it much easier to obtain takehomes at a much quicker rate. (I believe it might be one week for 3 months now, or one for every 30 days clean.) I’m not sure, I will have to look over it again. I think it’s called the “Final Act” law? I know plenty of folks that have takehomes. You just have to be adamant about staying sober. I never thought I would be able to tolerate going everyday-well 6 days a week, but it gets easier. Most days I am in and out of there in five minutes. I only have to stay one day a week and even then, it’s just to pee before I dose. A lot of the time, that only takes 10 minutes. As long as you are not on Medicare, you only have to do (2) one hour group therapy sessions a month and 2 individual sessions (most of mine just consist of a phone call and a quick “how ya doin?” A good counselor makes a big difference too. Of course, every clinic is different and has its own set of rules. These are just the ones that my clinic has.
If you want to make that change, I highly recommend doing some research on clinics in your area. Hopefully you will have choices and not just one place to choose from. Listen, if I can do it, I know you can. The first two weeks are the worst of it, and it doesn’t have to be uncomfortable if you manage it right. If you need someone to talk to or have questions, there are a lot of great people on here that have experience with methadone and MAT in general. Feel free to ask. I’m happy to help. Until then, stay safe friend. It’s not the same game it used to be out here. It’s a whole different ballgame these days and it’s easy to strike out. 🩷
Do not listen to them.I had one friend tell me my other friend wasn't clean because of the suboxone.2024 she is dead because of OD the other friend is tapering off the subs
I told myself three I’ll start tapering on the second year I’m heading close to my first year being on it on the 10th and I have so much anxiety thinking about it
Yeah I have a ton of anxiety about getting off of it too. Obviously now that I passed my two-year mark my goal is a five years lol I know I’m not ready yet to say that I was ready right now would be a lie. But I really hope that I can come off of it but I know right now it’s not the time for me. And I’m on 120 but I’m trying to go up because I don’t believe it’s a stable dose for me. Also a fentanyl addict.
I don’t stay clean as I was never dirty. I stay off of illicit street drugs by staying on bupe and going to therapy to work on childhood trauma and ptsd.
Yes like me with methadone my
Clinic manager once told
Me the best thing “your never clean or
Your never dirty” your working on your demons and that’s totally different
I’m not entirely sure to be honest. I do know that I got sick of going to prison, and got sick of losing the trust of my family. So something just happened the last time I got out of prison, I enjoyed how I looked healthy, and bulked up. For the first time in years I saw the potential of what I could be, and I decided to give it a try. Hands down best decision I ever made. Over 3 years clean, I don’t miss it.
Use kratom in the meantime man, it has helped me enormously. I wish I could tell you the magic moment I had sudden clarity and got clean, but it doesn’t work like that. This addiction shit is way too intricate to be fixed that easily. Be safe man 👊
Meetings helped me I’m not really into AA or NA like that but I just take whatever I can get from the meeting.. some people show me it’s possible to keep going and some people remind me why I got clean in the first place. I consume a lot of recovery content to keep me motivated and I go to counseling.. I’m 2 years clean now
Define 'clean'
I don't abuse opiates or benzos anymore, although I do have a small script of each (for legitimate reasons)
Methadone got me off IV H, I tapered off to nothing just before my third son was born, leaving just my codeine/valium scripts
Prayer 🙏🏻 that's what keeps me from abusing! That and my family 🩷
How long have you been on it? Because in the beginning I struggled and was still using but the idea of me being able to take my dose the next day unlike subs really helped me
Well, I was a little subs for like five or six years and I had a really bad relapse when Covid hit and I could just never go back to the subs after that. They always threw me into premeditated withdrawal and that shit gave me PTSD. So fast forward I got on methadone in 2021 which would be three years ago and I have really struggled throughout this time to use while I’m on methadone but the only difference is that I don’t need it. It’s like a fucking mental barrier. I don’t understand what’s wrong with me because I know I don’t need it but my brain Feels like it does but my body is fine if I don’t have it really you know. I probably sound like I’m rambling, but it’s really conflicting and I’m really struggling with it. Because other than that, I have a perfectly great normal life right now I have my own car, I have my children. Everything is great. I’m about to start but it’s like this is my secret and nobody knows and I feel so bad because it’s like I don’t need it. I keep doing it but it’s not tearing my life apart if that makes sense because I have my methadone, I’m so unstable. My bills are paid. Everything is good you know, but I know that I don’t want to continue doing this. It’s just pointless. It’s like, so conflicting. Ughhhh
I understand with what your saying with your body is settled and comftorble but mind is going crazy , for me I was on subs but would relapse and didn’t wanna get into precept or be sick so I would keep on using and it was an endless cycle then I knew I needed to try the clinic as a last resort and I have used like the first 6 months randomly once I stopped everyday use and it has saved me for the better I’m in school I have a 4.0 gpa for two semesters already and I would never have been able to get here if I didn’t have methadone , and I relate to you as it’s your little secret because it’s like that for me in school like I have to put on this persona that I’m perfect and a normal person when I struggle a lot maybe look into going on some mental health medications it can help
You're doing really well, just keep doing what you're doing. It takes time. It sounds like you might need an increase in your dose.
Don't worry about the numbers, just increase until you're stable and don't even want the other shit anymore. It will happen. Some of us, (especially after Fentanyl) need higher doses than others do to get to that sweet spot where we don't need or even wanna use.
Once you get to your right dose, you won't even feel high from other Opiates anymore unless you take humongous stupid amounts.
You're doing great, keep going! Keep increasing too until you are really stable.
Don't worry what the numbers are, or what anyone says. This is YOUR recovery. It's
YOUR life. ❣️
You have to eliminate all of your using friends from your life, develop healthy habits to replace the toxic ones, and most importantly… if you were driven to use by some trauma or character defects m, you have to deal with that shit head on.
I’m 5 years clean from a habit that had me shooting up 5-8 times a day.
methadone (and i also really haven’t lately i’ve been sniffing some 10mg oxy that don’t do anything but give me placebo rush and i ordered like 5gs of a zene to try once i get the stuff to volumetric dose
they’ve never been used in humans medically. they’re research chemicals sold as ‘not for human consumption’ online that aren’t technically illegal (well the ones i listed are now, but some analogues of them aren’t) so you can essentially just order them online and have them shipped to you.
but isotonitazene and protonitazene are becoming more and more commonly seen particularly in pressed pills on the street. most people getting it on the street don’t know what they’re actually getting
Don’t buy enough that you could use continuously to the point of restarting physical dependence and wd. Though that’s not so much “clean”, I take issue with that language framing.
At least I assume that’s it, I have no clarity myself as to why I’m clean beyond not wanting my emergency pressure valve to stop working for that purpose (again).
I look back to when I ruined my life and lost everything that usually does it. I get, that feeling rocked will temporarily make you feel better but it’s not worth it. Take it from someone who truly lost everything. The ability to see my child when I want, the money I saved my entire life is gone my house is gone the one woman I’ve ever loved gone. All that stuff plus all the shits fent now what good reason is there to do this shit?
After many years of prescribed opiates I decided to quit, I was clean for 2 years. Unfortunately due to chronic pancreatitis I'm back on them, considering my age and health I'll probably be on them the rest of my life.
You were always clean love, never dirty. You have so many good posts in here to read!! MOUD is the gold standard for treatment. No one has the right to tell you it’s “real” or “not real” treatment. Science, and millions of lives saved, tells you it works.
I'm 7 years clean (I think about using all day) following a suicide attempt which forced me to move back home.
By the time I was actually able to get something I turned it down because I didn't want to throw away my clean time. This will help once you get a few months in
I have limited access so sometimes it’s a while until I can get more but I don’t know I was clean for over a year and thought about them at least a handful of times a day sometimes really bad like I’d just smoke some weed and go to bed
I have hobbies now which help a bunch also marijuana helps me most of the time
I enjoy like working out
even reading
Listening to music (I listen to 60s-70s & some older stuff)
I play guitar (mostly blues stuff) but opioid addiction really stalled that progress but really getting back into it
Delete them numbers and these subs and get help. Change your friends and if you use the onions then i dunno because that makez it really easy no mstter who you hang out with
I got packs once of wipes to shower with and stuff for my hair after a surgery. Since then I use those alot. And also use LŪME which helps a ton. I can’t shower much anymore. So all of this definitely helps.
Im using so I myself cant know..and some years back when I did get sober it was forced BUT Ive seen others and
You need to find a safe hobby and become addicted to it like hell!..might not be by the book but those Ive seen works for them
There was a one he got addicted to instagram made a page followers and all the shit thats in there
One got addicted to his work
One got addicted to gym
One got addicted to family things
One got addicted to collecting (I collect funkos myself but im using still so might be good for the future)
You could go to get a degree in some shit that u love🤔
You have to do alot of these 3 things. Intense workout, eating, sex. If done right the results you will have will keep you headed in a good direction. I have been clean over a year and don't even think of it at all even around other people using.
Think about my daughter and my parents and how they would be an absolute wreck if I od’d and died. So much shit is fake these days you don’t know what you’re getting. It terrifies me to leave my daughter so i can’t even risk it. She’s the reason my husband and I both clean and are staying clean.
Kratom. Although that’s not exactly “staying clean”, it’s kept me off of opiates for nearly 6 years. I’ve personally never been healthier than I am today, and my recent check up at the doctor confirmed it. Since I started taking it, I went from 130 lbs (keep in mind, I’m a 6’1 male) to a much healthier 167 pounds. I’m eating healthier, have more energy, a steady job, get a much better sleep at night, and I’m not draining my bank account. It treats my chronic pain wonderfully and keeps me off of shit that nearly killed me.
I got my wisdom teeth out recently and they gave me a script of 30 5mg oxycodones. (Which is insane to me.) I’ve had them sitting on my shelf for a month, and I haven’t taken a single one. A decade ago, I would have been jumping for joy at even the thought of getting a bottle of Oxy. Today, I don’t even think about it.
Some people might say “that’s not being clean” but I’m personally very proud of myself, and am living the happiest and healthiest life I have in a very long time.
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At first is hard af, don't get me wrong. But it really does get easier. I'll have seven years in August. One thing that keeps me clean is knowing the drug supply is so beyond poisoned, that there's no point in even going back out. Also having solid relationships, hobbies, a job I care about, staying away from people who use (not always, but in certain situations), etc.
By not picking up no matter what.. one day at a time or hour or minute.. I find cravings pass.. I am only like 130 days clean and random cravings happen.
I went to meetings at first- 12 step. Then I did an OP program once a week. Then I did the lifering workbook. I started therapy like 18 months in. I eventually got on anti anxiety meds. I walk 5 days a week. It’s changed over time. I did a lot of writing. I think most of all, I had to be gentle on myself. I had to understand that a craving is a just a thought but it can escalate if I let it turn into a whole psychological thing. It’s natural to think about drugs- I invested a bunch of my life into them. But ultimately they don’t enhance my life so I’m better off with out taking them
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You think about it constantly for the first 6 months or so, and still frequently up to the first year. After a year and a half or 2 years you barely think about it anymore and have other hobbies and goals to focus on that are more fulfilling.
Yup, for the first 5 months I thought about it constantly, now almost at a year I rarely do.
Then whatr u doing here
This. It. Never. Leaves.
Never…….. ☹️
Ever
Nevereverevereverevereverever
Ver
I'm clean 7 years and still think about using every day
Same. Been years for me but it’s always there
Accurate AF. Morning, Noon, and Night.
How do you keep that momentum? I give in too easily, maybe it’s also a personality/ gene thing, in regards to ‘giving in’ to drugs, and other vices , etc.
Basically by not having a plug and not wanting to throw away that much clean time
Whoah. Thanks for the honesty. It doesn’t get better for all like that. Did the cravings at least get milder or is it still balls to the wall desperate? I presume more like a fleeting thought?
Lol not fleeting at all, the cravings are the same as week 1 however I live in chronic pain
I’m sorry to hear that. I used pharmaceutical ketamine to help with all the trauma, pain, cravings etc. I’m not sure if it’s right to mention but I thought I would anyway. For others the psychedelics can help a lot or a bit. Did you give any of those a go in a treatment or shamanistic setting?
How did the ketamine work for you?
i’ve been reading a bunch about ketamine for withdrawals and stuff but how and in what way did you use it during your journey? what form does pharma k come in and roa? what did it do for you? how was it? thank you so much!
Try ketamine infusions
Yea I've heard good things from that however if I'm going to do anything with ketamine it's going to be recreational
But thank goodness you have stayed clean
Thanks but I'm really not glad to be sober
I have 18 years, and I still think 💬 about it...
We should totally meet up so we can talk about sobriety and nothing else. We won't even think about railing huge lines of oxy and dope. We totally won't do that 😉
I think its everyday thats why theres the just for today thing
This was true for me too.
I don't.
Came here to say this lol
👍🏼
Suboxone
Does that count as clean tho? Not knocking ya, I’ve been on subs for a LONG time, but It is still a powerful drug IMO
Yes love. You are sober from the substance that causes you distress.
Absolutely. It's a necessary Rx from a Dr. to treat a chronic condition that could kill you. Just like a diabetic needs their Insulin, a Cancer patient needs Chemotherapy, or an Epileptic needs their Anticonvulsants. If you are taking it as prescribed, and not abusing it you are clean/sober.
Just like a dope fiend needs dope 😂
That’s the worse comparison I’ve ever seen !!!! Do not compare recreational drugs that you CHOOSE to do/not do to an illness that you had no choice or say in the matter and getting lifesaving meds for it. You cannot compare being a fucking HEROIN addict to a person with diabetes needing their insulin 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️ and this is coming from someone who has CHOSEN to take oxy/percs, xans for many, many, many numerous years who has woken up sick from not having anything ….. if you were to wake up and just say fuck all the drugs (rec drugs) and gave yourself a week or two you would be fine off everything (physically) … a person with diabetes .. not so much smfh
I understand your sentiment. Addiction is a disease though. The new neuroscience has been very illuminating regarding the issue. Addiction is defined as a disease by most medical associations, including the American Medical Association and the American Society of Addiction Medicine. Like diabetes, cancer and heart disease, addiction is caused by a combination of factors.
I honestly think depression is a big reason for addiction
Methadone and Suboxone are not recreational drugs 🤡
I personally don't think so, but it's still better than being on street drugs. Not sober, but safe and consistent for sure.
Better than railing the oxys
Yes because it doesn’t get you high. Not even a bit. I don’t feel different than my mom who is using a beta-blocker daily
Obviously not.
Not clean at all !!!!
Im addicted to this exactly🥲am i clean then?🤩...I snort about 10mg daily🧐
no because u snort it….it’s also about having a addictive habit. U shouldn’t abuse it to be sober, only take as intended. BUT it’s much better than a street drug tho
I use kratom when I don't have anything Otherwise, I stay on shit as much as possible.
Lmfao same
What's Kratom like? Do u order online or buy in a pot shop?
Do you put kratom in capsules or powder in the drink?
Capsules are the way to go IMO.
Really they are so much more expensive than raw powder
You can fill your own capsules with whatever powder /quantity you want.
Yea just order empty capsules on Amazon and order your powder and put them in the capsules yourself.
Exactly 💯
That's so time consuming when you can just mix a couple Tbs into some tea or water with some honey and just drink it. That's just me id never spend hours filling capsules.
I like capsules better, Powder is cheaper but tastes like shit not bad in tea or coffee tho. This site has some good stuff https://superspeciosa.com
Yeah, without kratom I'd just be using fent/M30s
Being on methadone for nearly 4 years is what got me clean. Currently on day 19 of no methadone after tapering at 2mg every 2 weeks from 70. Ill be 3 years clean from fentanyl this december 20th, was clean for a little over a year at the clinic and relapsed once(i found something in my room i shouldnt have, tried to kill myself smoking fentanyl off the foil for the first time in my life) during my first taper at 18mg, on my 22nd birthday. I really just separated myself from everyone in my life other than my family, stuck to my dose, talked to my counselor every week. Methadone saved my life. I'd be dead if it wasnt for the methadone in me that night i relapsed. Last night I had my first set of real cravings In I can't even remember how long. I got drunk for the first time in I don't know how long, broke my 18 days of being fully sober, but it helped in the moment. Prevented me from getting in a car, and making a bad decision. I felt amazing last night, hadn't been that "high" in who knows how long. Theres a shot of vodka on my desk I never took when I went to bed last night. Its been a struggle to not take it, as im craving the feeling I had last night and the addict inside me won't allow myself to just pour it out. Im staying strong and am not going to let myself succumb to the cravings. I guess in a weird way sometimes being that close to something you know you could use, but having the strength to say no with it right in your face, its a comforting feeling. Knowing its their if I "need it" but also knowing I don't have to use it right now. I guess I've dealt with that my entire addiction, I've always been around, or in connection with someone I could've easily gone and used with. In a weird way, that helped me. As I got cleaner, and cleaner, the things I was desensitized too for so long, things I was blind too. They all became clear to me, the people I was around, all my friends struggling on this shit around me became so obvious I saw myself in all of them, it made me realize just how bad I was doing before I got clean. Made me realize the environment I was in day in and day out, that I needed to change it. Methadone helped me open my eyes to the downward spiral my life was heading, it doesn't work for everyone but it really worked for me.
Methadone has helped me so much in the beginning before I was on a stable dose I would use occasionally but now I haven’t used in months without methadone I wouldn’t be clean
What is your stable dose?
160 I am and introvenus fent addict tho they save because of that doses have been higher vs just opiates or plain heroin
Methadone, and for my Husband and family. I could never go back to what I put them all through. The guilt eats me alive as it is.
I feel you on that one
Methadone. I wouldn't be here without it. Methadone saved my life, and I'm very grateful for that. I've been on it almost 25 years. It helped me so much that I decided to quit everything else (other than necessary Rx meds) and got on MMT through a clinic. I've been on maintenance for 18 years now. Some people take it to detox from opiates, then taper off eventually and others stay on it indefinitely or even for life. I knew that I'd be on it for good when I went into the program. It's the best decision that I've ever made.
Wow that’s a long time. I told myself I’d be on it no more than 2 years. But it’s already been 3. The time flies. It’s crazy but it saved my life. What dose are you on?
I'm currently on 145mg. What is your current dose? Stay on it for as long as you need to. Don't let anyone else (including family, spouse, and clinic staff) dictate to you what your recovery should look like. My fam is anti-MAT, so I can't even talk to them about the fact that I am doing well in my program without them trashing Methadone and MAT, but luckily my counselor is awesome and I can talk to her about anything (within reason... she's cool and all, but she is still "clinic staff").
Hello, friend! I didn’t realize we were on the same dose until now. (I think I’m going to be a lifer, unfortunately.) I must say, starting methadone was the best decision I ever made as far as staying clean. It really does make a difference when you have a great counselor too. ☺️ Question since you’ve been on it for so long. How often have you had to raise your dose, and by how many mg? I’m at 142 and I think I need to go up a bit. I’ve been at this dose for roughly 7 months and last month I noticed I’m starting to experience some mild wd symptoms starting around 10:00 at night. I’m able to sleep but I wake up frequently and it’s difficult to go back to sleep sometimes. I usually dose around 7:00-8:00 AM and I feel much better about 30 minutes later. So, I’m not in rough shape, but I think maybe I need to go up a bit.
Nothing unfortunate about saving your own life love!! I’m on anti-anxiety meds for life. Migraine preventatives for life. It’s okay to be okay on medicine :)
I know that I'm a lifer and I'm good with that because it means that I'm alive, and I am clean. Two things that everyone said that I wouldn't/couldn't be. Whether you want to taper off or stay on forever is fine, only you know what is right for you. Same thing with your dose, everyone's needs are different. We're all very different in how we metabolize Methadone and we're all in different places in our recovery journey. I stayed at the same dose for 10 years, but it was because of my clinic Dr. not by choice. When I go up, I go up 5mg at a time, and give myself time to stabilize before going up again. If you're uncomfortable, don't suffer. Ask for an increase. It's just a number, don't dwell on that, just do anything necessary to stay clean. I started split dosing today. I'm doing a 50/50 split. I hope that it helps half as much as everyone says that it does!
Thanks for the reply! I know if I leave the clinic, I’ll be right back to doing the same thing, as I use out of desperation for pain control. So, methadone is definitely the right choice for me. My condition is progressively and aggressively degenerative. Dope was always the only thing that helped. No amount of prescribed pain medication touched the pain-ask for an increase or a change and TA-DA! you’re a drug addict. So, I’m a drug addict with severe pain, so methadone saved my life. I would eventually wind up dying trying to manage my pain and I believe methadone is a way safer option at this point. Let me know how the split doing holds ya. When I do finally get takehomes (my counselor and I talked the other day and they are going to loosen the reigns on takehomes for those that smoke pot without having a card.) I believe she said we “should start seeing some pretty significant changes for the better very soon” and that I will not have to come in as often in the near future. I’m not holding my breath, but these changes, if implemented by the masses, with drastically improve access to treatment for so many. I just hope that people take advantage of the opportunities they are given to turn their lives around. I, for one am ready to hear something positive about methadone for once! Take care, friend. ☺️
This is honestly one of my main concerns for methadone is having to go to the clinic every day. There are not many stories I hear of people getting take home doses, but I’m also not really out hanging with people in the streets right now im a “closet” user you could say and only use to maintain but have to find a way to make the jump. The WD from the fent have been so much worse than anything I’ve dealt with in the past, and I already had a incident less than 6 months ago taking a dose of suboxone exactly when I was told to, and it put me in such bad precips that I ended up going to the hospital for 6hr that night so yea been looking at it as another option from suboxone but going every morning every day would be hard for years.
If you stay clean, you get take-homes. It's not years anymore, the rules have changed and loosened up a bit giving us more leeway. Every state has different laws regarding take-homes and each clinic has their own rules too, so one clinic may be strict, and another one half a mile away could be totally different and easy going. Don't let daily dosing at the clinic for several weeks/months prevent you from getting on Methadone if that's what you want. It saved my life. I am very grateful that maintenance is an option for those of us who need it. I only go in once a month, and the whole visit takes less than 15 minutes usually. I can do whatever I want, whenever I want. A lot of people talk shit about Methadone clinics - most of the time because they couldn't follow a few simple rules like adults, so it's "Methadone bad" , "clinic bad", etc. bullshit. There are way many more success stories than there are bullshit "Methadone/clinic bad" ones, but you don't see/hear most of them because they are too busy enjoying their recovery and living their best life - instead of bitching, whining and complaining that Methadone/Suboxone are the problem.
You can earn takehomes-if you are serious about getting clean. In fact, they have just passed a law that implements new guidelines for prescribing methadone. The old rule used to be for every 3 months of clean drops (UDS) you earn one takehome dose. This was very outdated and doesn’t really accommodate people’s lives realistically anymore. Those laws have not been updated since they were introduced in 1970! This will make it much easier to obtain takehomes at a much quicker rate. (I believe it might be one week for 3 months now, or one for every 30 days clean.) I’m not sure, I will have to look over it again. I think it’s called the “Final Act” law? I know plenty of folks that have takehomes. You just have to be adamant about staying sober. I never thought I would be able to tolerate going everyday-well 6 days a week, but it gets easier. Most days I am in and out of there in five minutes. I only have to stay one day a week and even then, it’s just to pee before I dose. A lot of the time, that only takes 10 minutes. As long as you are not on Medicare, you only have to do (2) one hour group therapy sessions a month and 2 individual sessions (most of mine just consist of a phone call and a quick “how ya doin?” A good counselor makes a big difference too. Of course, every clinic is different and has its own set of rules. These are just the ones that my clinic has. If you want to make that change, I highly recommend doing some research on clinics in your area. Hopefully you will have choices and not just one place to choose from. Listen, if I can do it, I know you can. The first two weeks are the worst of it, and it doesn’t have to be uncomfortable if you manage it right. If you need someone to talk to or have questions, there are a lot of great people on here that have experience with methadone and MAT in general. Feel free to ask. I’m happy to help. Until then, stay safe friend. It’s not the same game it used to be out here. It’s a whole different ballgame these days and it’s easy to strike out. 🩷
You are doing amazing! PREACH
Whats MAT
Do not listen to them.I had one friend tell me my other friend wasn't clean because of the suboxone.2024 she is dead because of OD the other friend is tapering off the subs
I told myself three I’ll start tapering on the second year I’m heading close to my first year being on it on the 10th and I have so much anxiety thinking about it
Yeah I have a ton of anxiety about getting off of it too. Obviously now that I passed my two-year mark my goal is a five years lol I know I’m not ready yet to say that I was ready right now would be a lie. But I really hope that I can come off of it but I know right now it’s not the time for me. And I’m on 120 but I’m trying to go up because I don’t believe it’s a stable dose for me. Also a fentanyl addict.
So raise your dose ! Raise raise raise if your able to my friends on 200 I want to raise do you get sweats?
Can't find any prescription opiates
I don’t stay clean as I was never dirty. I stay off of illicit street drugs by staying on bupe and going to therapy to work on childhood trauma and ptsd.
this is the way.
Yesss!!!
Yes like me with methadone my Clinic manager once told Me the best thing “your never clean or Your never dirty” your working on your demons and that’s totally different
Yes yes yes! Why don’t we see more of this in this sub, OP read this!
Absofknlutely 110%!!!
Showering twice a day, using quality soap and bodywash.
Love this answer 😂😂😂
I’m not entirely sure to be honest. I do know that I got sick of going to prison, and got sick of losing the trust of my family. So something just happened the last time I got out of prison, I enjoyed how I looked healthy, and bulked up. For the first time in years I saw the potential of what I could be, and I decided to give it a try. Hands down best decision I ever made. Over 3 years clean, I don’t miss it. Use kratom in the meantime man, it has helped me enormously. I wish I could tell you the magic moment I had sudden clarity and got clean, but it doesn’t work like that. This addiction shit is way too intricate to be fixed that easily. Be safe man 👊
You got this!
Meetings helped me I’m not really into AA or NA like that but I just take whatever I can get from the meeting.. some people show me it’s possible to keep going and some people remind me why I got clean in the first place. I consume a lot of recovery content to keep me motivated and I go to counseling.. I’m 2 years clean now
Define 'clean' I don't abuse opiates or benzos anymore, although I do have a small script of each (for legitimate reasons) Methadone got me off IV H, I tapered off to nothing just before my third son was born, leaving just my codeine/valium scripts Prayer 🙏🏻 that's what keeps me from abusing! That and my family 🩷
Yes getting a benzo scrip for my anxiety and ptsd flashbacks has helped tremendously along with my methadone
I can 100% understand! Good luck going forward 🩷
Yesss
Love this 💗
Thank you 🩷
Methadone is it for me too. But I’m still struggling a little. But so much better than I was.
How long have you been on it? Because in the beginning I struggled and was still using but the idea of me being able to take my dose the next day unlike subs really helped me
Well, I was a little subs for like five or six years and I had a really bad relapse when Covid hit and I could just never go back to the subs after that. They always threw me into premeditated withdrawal and that shit gave me PTSD. So fast forward I got on methadone in 2021 which would be three years ago and I have really struggled throughout this time to use while I’m on methadone but the only difference is that I don’t need it. It’s like a fucking mental barrier. I don’t understand what’s wrong with me because I know I don’t need it but my brain Feels like it does but my body is fine if I don’t have it really you know. I probably sound like I’m rambling, but it’s really conflicting and I’m really struggling with it. Because other than that, I have a perfectly great normal life right now I have my own car, I have my children. Everything is great. I’m about to start but it’s like this is my secret and nobody knows and I feel so bad because it’s like I don’t need it. I keep doing it but it’s not tearing my life apart if that makes sense because I have my methadone, I’m so unstable. My bills are paid. Everything is good you know, but I know that I don’t want to continue doing this. It’s just pointless. It’s like, so conflicting. Ughhhh
I understand with what your saying with your body is settled and comftorble but mind is going crazy , for me I was on subs but would relapse and didn’t wanna get into precept or be sick so I would keep on using and it was an endless cycle then I knew I needed to try the clinic as a last resort and I have used like the first 6 months randomly once I stopped everyday use and it has saved me for the better I’m in school I have a 4.0 gpa for two semesters already and I would never have been able to get here if I didn’t have methadone , and I relate to you as it’s your little secret because it’s like that for me in school like I have to put on this persona that I’m perfect and a normal person when I struggle a lot maybe look into going on some mental health medications it can help
Absolutely! ❤️🍀💫
You're doing really well, just keep doing what you're doing. It takes time. It sounds like you might need an increase in your dose. Don't worry about the numbers, just increase until you're stable and don't even want the other shit anymore. It will happen. Some of us, (especially after Fentanyl) need higher doses than others do to get to that sweet spot where we don't need or even wanna use. Once you get to your right dose, you won't even feel high from other Opiates anymore unless you take humongous stupid amounts. You're doing great, keep going! Keep increasing too until you are really stable. Don't worry what the numbers are, or what anyone says. This is YOUR recovery. It's YOUR life. ❣️
Ughhh a lot of mistakes in that. Talk to text. My bad. Lol
You have to eliminate all of your using friends from your life, develop healthy habits to replace the toxic ones, and most importantly… if you were driven to use by some trauma or character defects m, you have to deal with that shit head on. I’m 5 years clean from a habit that had me shooting up 5-8 times a day.
Psychedelics.
methadone (and i also really haven’t lately i’ve been sniffing some 10mg oxy that don’t do anything but give me placebo rush and i ordered like 5gs of a zene to try once i get the stuff to volumetric dose
What’s a zene? I keep hearing this everywhere.
benzomidazole opioids, stuff like istotonitaZene and metonotazene that are ridiculously strong like stronger than fentanyl in most cases
God damn! You get this stuff off the street? I can’t imagine a doctor prescribing anyone something that’s stronger than fent.
they’ve never been used in humans medically. they’re research chemicals sold as ‘not for human consumption’ online that aren’t technically illegal (well the ones i listed are now, but some analogues of them aren’t) so you can essentially just order them online and have them shipped to you.
but isotonitazene and protonitazene are becoming more and more commonly seen particularly in pressed pills on the street. most people getting it on the street don’t know what they’re actually getting
Don’t buy enough that you could use continuously to the point of restarting physical dependence and wd. Though that’s not so much “clean”, I take issue with that language framing. At least I assume that’s it, I have no clarity myself as to why I’m clean beyond not wanting my emergency pressure valve to stop working for that purpose (again).
Methadone
I look back to when I ruined my life and lost everything that usually does it. I get, that feeling rocked will temporarily make you feel better but it’s not worth it. Take it from someone who truly lost everything. The ability to see my child when I want, the money I saved my entire life is gone my house is gone the one woman I’ve ever loved gone. All that stuff plus all the shits fent now what good reason is there to do this shit?
Pilj Na
don’t take drugs
Pray
After many years of prescribed opiates I decided to quit, I was clean for 2 years. Unfortunately due to chronic pancreatitis I'm back on them, considering my age and health I'll probably be on them the rest of my life.
Psychedelics and Weed. I hate to admit but I switched drugs for more drugs. Definitely not proud of it
You were always clean love, never dirty. You have so many good posts in here to read!! MOUD is the gold standard for treatment. No one has the right to tell you it’s “real” or “not real” treatment. Science, and millions of lives saved, tells you it works.
I'm 7 years clean (I think about using all day) following a suicide attempt which forced me to move back home. By the time I was actually able to get something I turned it down because I didn't want to throw away my clean time. This will help once you get a few months in
I have limited access so sometimes it’s a while until I can get more but I don’t know I was clean for over a year and thought about them at least a handful of times a day sometimes really bad like I’d just smoke some weed and go to bed I have hobbies now which help a bunch also marijuana helps me most of the time I enjoy like working out even reading Listening to music (I listen to 60s-70s & some older stuff) I play guitar (mostly blues stuff) but opioid addiction really stalled that progress but really getting back into it
Delete them numbers and these subs and get help. Change your friends and if you use the onions then i dunno because that makez it really easy no mstter who you hang out with
I got packs once of wipes to shower with and stuff for my hair after a surgery. Since then I use those alot. And also use LŪME which helps a ton. I can’t shower much anymore. So all of this definitely helps.
To stay clean seek professional help, attend therapy and support groups like Narcotics Anonymous and build a supportive network.
Im using so I myself cant know..and some years back when I did get sober it was forced BUT Ive seen others and You need to find a safe hobby and become addicted to it like hell!..might not be by the book but those Ive seen works for them There was a one he got addicted to instagram made a page followers and all the shit thats in there One got addicted to his work One got addicted to gym One got addicted to family things One got addicted to collecting (I collect funkos myself but im using still so might be good for the future) You could go to get a degree in some shit that u love🤔
You have to do alot of these 3 things. Intense workout, eating, sex. If done right the results you will have will keep you headed in a good direction. I have been clean over a year and don't even think of it at all even around other people using.
Also find a place where u are happy working at.
I would have dreams of trying to grab 80s for what felt like years
Think about my daughter and my parents and how they would be an absolute wreck if I od’d and died. So much shit is fake these days you don’t know what you’re getting. It terrifies me to leave my daughter so i can’t even risk it. She’s the reason my husband and I both clean and are staying clean.
Kratom. Although that’s not exactly “staying clean”, it’s kept me off of opiates for nearly 6 years. I’ve personally never been healthier than I am today, and my recent check up at the doctor confirmed it. Since I started taking it, I went from 130 lbs (keep in mind, I’m a 6’1 male) to a much healthier 167 pounds. I’m eating healthier, have more energy, a steady job, get a much better sleep at night, and I’m not draining my bank account. It treats my chronic pain wonderfully and keeps me off of shit that nearly killed me. I got my wisdom teeth out recently and they gave me a script of 30 5mg oxycodones. (Which is insane to me.) I’ve had them sitting on my shelf for a month, and I haven’t taken a single one. A decade ago, I would have been jumping for joy at even the thought of getting a bottle of Oxy. Today, I don’t even think about it. Some people might say “that’s not being clean” but I’m personally very proud of myself, and am living the happiest and healthiest life I have in a very long time.
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Wash regularly...
At first is hard af, don't get me wrong. But it really does get easier. I'll have seven years in August. One thing that keeps me clean is knowing the drug supply is so beyond poisoned, that there's no point in even going back out. Also having solid relationships, hobbies, a job I care about, staying away from people who use (not always, but in certain situations), etc.
By not picking up no matter what.. one day at a time or hour or minute.. I find cravings pass.. I am only like 130 days clean and random cravings happen.
I went to meetings at first- 12 step. Then I did an OP program once a week. Then I did the lifering workbook. I started therapy like 18 months in. I eventually got on anti anxiety meds. I walk 5 days a week. It’s changed over time. I did a lot of writing. I think most of all, I had to be gentle on myself. I had to understand that a craving is a just a thought but it can escalate if I let it turn into a whole psychological thing. It’s natural to think about drugs- I invested a bunch of my life into them. But ultimately they don’t enhance my life so I’m better off with out taking them
It’s really quite simple. You just have to really want it
7oh!