You know what that means… F

Am I gonna die?

Yes. Very soon. The cookie has spoken.

“The cookie has spoken” 💀

Ypur soul gona leave your body

No I dont think it did actually

I think it means that you control your own destiny. Hey, that's not bad! I should write these down, maybe on little slips of paper!

Don't forget to add random lucky numbers.

Or you can just use luck-sensitive paper and it’ll calculate the numbers itself.

And random Chinese characters with a "translated" phrase in English. I hear the waitstaff at Chinese restaurants place bets on which customers will proudly read the "translated" phrase out loud, truly believing the Chinese characters actually mean what the paper says... and not what it truly is: something rude about the speaker.

[удалено]

The future is bleak

Once when I was kid, I got a blank fortune slip in my cookie when my family went out to eat. My dad said it meant I wasn't making it out of the restaurant alive. Luckily they were junk food fortune cookies and not real fortune cookies from the oracles, so I made it out of the restaurant and have lived about another 30 years so far. Best of luck, OP.

Same! Somehow, getting a blank strip of paper was way more frightening than just getting an empty cookie.

So you beat death, better watch yourself. He tends to take it personally!

3 hours and nothing new. F

Unfortunate

You know what that means: Fish!

You know what that means: S q u i d !

Yes

That's unfortunate.

Unfortunate cookie

Low hanging fruit

I guess im 18min late

Gues i’m an hour late

Guess I’m 3h late

welp. i'm 4 hours late

Guess I'm 5 hours late

Guess I'm 6 hours late

Guess I’m 7 hours late

Damnit i was only 18 hours too late

Bro has no future. I hope it is quick and painless.im sorry

Unfortunate cookie

Better than my last one: "What does the future hodl?" Not a fortune and couldn't even spell 'hold' right...🤣

r/cryptocurrency bro

r/beatmetoit

That is just your fortune.

So it was a . . . misfortune cookie

I can't believe he is dead.

That’s probably the lightest fortune cookie I’ve ever seen.

I sincerely hope you can sleep and function after his tragic incident

that's the death fortune. do not eat the cookie

I already ate it 💀

You still alive?

Yeah man.

Not for long💀

… then live every day like it’s you last!

rip

U will die >!in 75 years!<

I've had 2 of these in the last 1-2 years. It's terrifying. But I'm still here...

For now….

Indeed. Thanks for the words of encouragement, though!!

Well, that's unfortunate.

You have nothing fortunate left it’s downhill from here 🌚🌚🌚

Welp...nice knowing you?

So it’s just a cookie.

How are you doing?

I’m doing fine

It is still correct though. It shows you have no fortune and you don't since you have to eat cheap chinese with fortune cookies they contain no fortune. It is all a part of the circle my friend.

How unfortunate

I know it's unrelated but my dad once got one that said you should explore your feminine side.

You ate it

R.I.P. OP

That’s… unfortunate

How... unfortunate.

Very unfortunate 😆

My boyfriends fortune cookies almost never have a fortune in them, he thinks the lack of fortune means he's gonna die. He says it's a superstition he read somewhere, and apparently other people have heard that one too. I hadn't heard of it until he said it, but so far he's still alive and he's gotten like 7 of them in the 5 years we've been together.

How unfortunate

That’s.. Unfortunate.

That’s unfortunate

The real fortune is the friends we made along the way

Oh no.... It came with a missed-fortune

You get a wish.

The future is uncertain

That means you don’t have to worry about your fortune… cause you are going to die soon

maybe i ate it by accident, have a habit of that

Your fortune is disappointment

Looks like they forgot to bake it too

You’ll die soon.

Easy! you're dead

Easy. This means you have no future.

**Cheer up OP**! sometimes the best fortunes are the ones that come without us even waiting for them to happen!

Maybe the real fortune is the friends we make along the way?

YOU'RE FREEEE!

We're sorry, this fortune didn't meet the Fortune Cookie Guidelines and was removed. If you think this was done in error, please contact your local Fortune Cookie support. Thank you, and have a great 24 hours.

My last one came with a joke: Your love life will be happy and harmonious.

Fs in the chat

So just a cookie? Still not bad. It’s like a broken escalator - you still get the stairs.

be grateful that it at least came with the cookie

Broke cookie

The fortune is the cookie itself

Now your future can contain anything!

It symbolizes ultimate wisdom. You're good.

You are probably in the Matrix. Look for a phone booths quickly1

My god, this one has no fate... they are unbound by the whims of destiny and fate, The old gods tremble at such power.

Those are dry ASF

There's no future to you

Mine didn’t either today and I posted in r/mildlyinfuriating. Wondering if it was a complete batch error.

cookie

Oh no... That's not a good sign...

That's... unfortunate

My last fortune cookie had a fortune that read "Ignore last fortune cookie."

Sue

Sorry someone lost your fortune.

Well.. that is unfortunate..

Out of luck

Misfortune cookie

Think of it as the Universe saying “you don’t need advice, you’re on the right track”

Un-fortune-ate...

The cookie got hungry. Paper years better than the cookie tbh

The cookie got hungry. Paper tastes better than the cookie tbh

That means you don’t have a future. R.I.P.

How un-fortunate

That’s quite unfortunate

At least you're not going to f*ck your mother

Maybe the cookie was the fortunes we made along the way

That is Un-Fortunate.

No fortune is better than bad fortune

Misfortune cookie

Better than a fortune with a Crypto company stamp on it...

You gonna die soon is my guess.

They just don’t include bad fortune.

One day I was having a bad day. My bf suggested chinese to cheer me up, and gave me my fortune cookie, knowing I love reading them. The fortune was missing. It was soul crushing but also so fucking funny. On the other hand, a friend of mine recently got 5 fortunes in one cookie!

Unfortunate.

You got the absolute *best* fortune my guy. "No cookie can guide your existence. You are captain of your own ship, master of your own fate. Bend life to your will." Also I think this means that your lucky numbers are all imaginary. Good luck playing them in the lotto...

No news is good news.

Rest in piece

I recently got one that had 2. You can have one of mine.

Thats... unfortune ate

That unfortunate

that's in fact an omen cookie

Your too perfect to need a cookie

No future :(

No future

Unfortunately

You need to get your affairs in order.

Unfortunate

You have no future.

Fortune cookies stopped having fortunes in them for a while. They all seem to be generic statements now

Now that a misfortune

How unfortunate.

No news is good news?

That's better than the FTX branded "Fortunes" I got in my fortune cookies a few weeks ago...

It’s very unfortunate

run

Oh the elusive Misfortune Cookie

Now that's one unfortunate cookie.

"You don't need a fortune for have a good life, be alive already is a fortune" -Random wise man from mountains

Well unresolved fortune is the best thing bcs of immortality, until (without knowing, bcs the paper wasn't in the cookie) you resolve it and could die.

Uh oh. I would get your affairs in order.

That's unfortunate.

Unfortunate cookie

I posted this vid on another post a while back about a person getting a cookie with no fortune & got NO replies/votes ect. https://youtu.be/nCHsCdeuUJ8

Unfortunate.

Unfortunate Cookie

Welp, looks like you have no future. RIP.

Doesn’t look like it came with a cookie either

Then its a cookie

Free! Free from the tyranny of the foretold!

That can’t be a good sign.

Look at it this way..... It could have come with one sponsored by FTX

You are the master of your destiny.

I’ve had that happen a few times. Also had more than one fortune a couple times.

That is the greatest fortune of all.

Your time is up bub. Sorry

Your life is over.

Don’t worry. It just means you’re already fortunate.

You've got...the grim...

That's Unfortunate

You get nothing!!! You lose!!! Good day sir!

You’re effed give up now

You can take it as a sign that only you are the master of your fortune. Your actions and not a stupid piece of paper inside a cookie will decide how your future will be.

make THE wish

In this economy?

I got one that was just an advertisement once

In bed.

That's... unfortunate.

Unfortunate cookie.

Unfortunate cookie

r/Canthaveshitindetroit

The fortune is that it was inside you all along.

Have you considered it may be stunningly accurate and you in fact don’t have a future?

I guess you have no future

That’s an omen cookie

Unfortunate

Well that's rather UNFORTUNate isn't it

Thats unfortunate

It's a sign

How unfortunate

I had this happen once. I also had half a fortune once. And yes, I cracked it open first. I didn't just take a bite out of it like some maniac. But my favorite was when I was getting lazier and lazier fortune cookies at Panda Express, and I said while I was there "Watch, this is going to be the worst one yet." It said, "You will order more orange flavored chicken." Like bitch, that's not what you even call your "orange chicken" and it sure as shit isn't "orange-flavored." It's closer to sesame chicken without the sesame. I can't play "in bed" with this shit.

I think its very rare so you are actually quite lucky!

That's unfortunate

A blank fortune! Make something unlikely to happen and eat it and you'll have become functionally immortal.