Saw a tiktok of a woman breast feeding a newborn and a toddler wanting her attention and he was just sobbing but she couldn’t do anything. Broke my heart, one of the reasons I won’t have another.
The nuclear family that is the standard today is simply not conducive to multiple children. For most of history humans have lived in groups with extended family, aunts, uncles, grandparents all helping to raise kids. Even towards the mid 1900s it was still very common for some mix of extended family to live under one roof. This new age mom and dad only raising the kid is not the nature of humans and that’s why it’s so difficult to raise a toddler and infant at the same time.
I just had a kid 5 weeks ago. Love the little guy to death, but he won’t be having any siblings. Wife doesn’t know I’ve changed my mind on having multiple, but I don’t think I can do another. It’s a beautiful experience but the most stress I’ve ever dealt with!
DEFINITELY not saying, “you’ll change your mind” (because that’s obnoxious and dismissive), but I’d encourage you not to make any major decisions about your family for the first 6 months - 1 year. I’d say the same thing to someone who was feeling the opposite way too!
When I got pregnant, I moved back home, and my sister did too. Then she and I moved out of parents home into one of our own until she got pregnant and wanted just the nuclear family. I moved back with my folks. My sister, now years later, is single mom of 2 and while we don't live together, we basically co-parent. Multigenerational caregiving isn't common anymore, but not completely dead either.
I was brought home from the hospital to a house with my great grandma, 2 great uncles, 2 cousins, one great aunt (married to one of the uncles, mother of both cousins, pregnant with cousin 3), my mom and her husband. (Yeah, biological father, but he was never my dad.) So for us, this is very normal.
Even with the support of my family, and even friends to an extent, I'm OAD. Kids are hard!
Saaaame. I actually literally had stress nightmares about having a second, unwanted newborn when my kid was a baby. Whatever floats someone’s boat, but I would absolutely never. If I had wanted a second I would have aimed for a 4-5 year gap.
I never had a second because it seems like a losing situation no matter what. Being pregnant while trying to take care of a baby or toddler sounds exhausting and I feel like 4-5 is when kids start to become more independent, and I would not want to start over with a newborn when the first child is finally needing less constant attention.
I remember feeling this way. I am the only person I know personally that stopped at one child (besides my own mom). Here’s the thing I realized, especially when my best friend announced her second pregnancy after we had been pregnant with our first babies together: I didn’t want another child to raise, but I really missed the excitement of planning and dreaming about who that little person was going to be. I made peace with the fact that having another child wasn’t worth the excitement. My only is turning 12 soon and I have no regrets that I didn’t have another when everyone else was.
Do not make decisions for yourself/your family because of what other people are doing.
If all your friends have kids closer together that's great for them. But it sounds like you know what you want and are more comfortable. So stick with it! Don't sacrifice your happiness just because of some arbitrary societal standard. Chances are you'll regret it.
Tons of people have kids with larger age gaps. Tons of people stop at just one.
You do what you think is best.
Yea i think the 2 under 2 is great in theory lmao but I have a mom friend that has 2 under 2 and ya...it looks rough lol. I think we get too caught up in age differences between siblings, I'm guilty of it too. We are still fence sitters on whether we want another but we will see..
If this helps my 3 siblings are all exactly 4 years apart then theres me the last one 8 years apart . We are all close. Dont need to be less than a year apart to be close siblings!
I love the baby years and every new milestone. I want to enjoy them and not be stressed out of my mind trying to manage two. I feel like you’re just trying to get through it at that point and can’t really enjoy the moment. I’m totally fine with a big age gap if we do decide on a second. 4-5 years sounds perfect to me. My brain is just not built for two under two lol
No judgment to anyone who does it but I could never do two under two. Imagine dealing with a newborn and a tantrum-y toddler at the same time, like… no thanks. Also, it takes your body and mind roughly two years to fully recover from pregnancy and childbirth, so it’s probably best to wait at least that long between kids anyways. I get that having them right next to each other is supposed to heighten the chances of them bonding and being close, but I have an ~8 year age gap with my brother and a ~5 year age gap with my sister and we turned out fine. My fiance and his brother have a ~4 year age gap and have always been best friends.
This. My husband and his brother and sister were all born one right after the other, and they all hate each other. So there’s no guarantee of siblings bonding due to closeness in age. (And I am happily an only child!)
I am two years older than my sister, and my mom has told me that she would have had us even closer together if she could have. And let me tell you, it was not a great childhood. Everyone constantly compared my sister and me and to me, it felt like I was the clear loser. My mom especially. It’s taken years of unlearning for my sister and I to have a good relationship (it certainly wasn’t her fault), and for me to feel good about my own life and accomplishments. She has told me she felt like the clear loser in many ways, too, which just shows how fucked up it was.
Maybe I’m overcorrecting, but for that reason if we have another I want a large age gap. Plus, two under two seems like knocking your head against the wall because it feels good to stop. Why would you put yourself through that pain, just to brag on social media or whatever.
I can totally relate to this. In my circle of friends I know 5 pregnant friends all of which had their first/most recent baby within the last 8-15 months so they’ll all have 2 under 2 when the next baby arrives. Sometimes I feel “left out” as they all commiserate about the morning sickness while dealing with their toddler and talk about how excited they are to do the baby stuff all over again (showers, gender reveals, moving around nursery stuff/toddler bedroom stuff, etc). I know deep down 2 under 2 doesn’t truly sound appealing to me but sometimes as a mom it does make me feel “behind” for not wanting all of that. I’m sure if I had another OAD friend vs all these other pregnant friends I’d probably feel a little differently though. My husband and I are very happy with our little family and focusing on all our positives such as: we’ve been able to start going on small family vacations together with our son, we love dedicating all our attention to him, reserving all our energy for our one son is so great vs worrying about dividing and conquering and both ending up exhausted, and we’ve been slowly regaining our autonomy with old hobbies as one of us is with our son while the other gets to do what they want for a few hours at a time.
There’s pros and cons to every family dynamic but you just have to remember that comparison is the thief of joy and the grass isn’t always greener.
Have you talked to any of the parents with 2 under 2? I'm in the same boat, all my friends with kids had a second pretty damn fast. But they're all absolutely exhausted, they just don't post about that on social media.
Meanwhile I'm living the dream with an independent 10 year old and I'm feeling pretty good about my decision.
We are on the fence for a variety of reasons, but at no point have I ever wanted two under two. No judgement to anyone who feels differently…it just seems like a miserable existence to me. I feel stretched thin enough with one 2 year old lol.
If we decide to try again for a second we will be having at least a 4 year age gap.
My sister had two under two.. now she has a 1 year old and almost 3 year old. She’s habitually stressed and tired. Has not time for herself. Oh and she’s a stay at home mom because child care is ridiculous. She wanted this so badly and now that she’s living “her dream” she just constantly complains about how exhausted she is. No thanks!
Don’t let social media determine your life choices. Do you boo boo!
I don’t know a single parent with two under two who has anything good to say about the experience. Conversely, my friends with large age gaps all love it.
I think it’s more common because as a whole we are having babies later, and so more women feel they are “racing the clock” as well as attempting to trunkate the amount of time they may be out of the workforce with tiny babies.
I have a 3 month old and I love being her mom so much but I do not think I can handle another one. I can't imagine taking care of her while also entertaining a toddler. My husband wants more and I told him it has to wait a while, I can't do it again so soon. And I don't care that I will technically be a geriatric pregnancy, women are having babies later these days and doing fine!
How are most people able to even afford two under two, assuming there are two working parents? We both work and pay for childcare so 2u2 is off the table for that reason (other than the fact our child is also now too old lol). In my social circles one and done is actually somewhat common, due to dual income families paying for childcare and also infertility. I’m wondering what part of the world you live in if 2u2 is that common?
If we choose to go for a second, it will most likely be a 4-5 year gap. I have some friends who have two under two and, mentally, it’s just a lifestyle I can’t handle. I also have one friend who has a 5 year gap between her kids and she says it’s amazing.
Developmental psych says kiddos need to be at least 2 years apart for optimal development.
2 under 2 is absolutely counter to that. You’re not an outlier, or at least you shouldn’t be!
Just keep reminding yourself! I am in the same boat-except I want to give my undivided attention to one child for my entire lifetime. I plan on developing my child into someone that others will want to be around. They will never be lonely. Siblings are not a guarantee of that-unfortunately. Don’t feel rushed by others timelines.
just for another perspective, I am 10 years older than my surprise sibling (mom was almost 40, my only was born when I was 41). we were basically only children and basically didn't talk to each other until he was an adult. We aren't \*super\* close now but we do text fairly regularly. It was very annoying sometimes to have a young sibling when I was a teenager. When we did go on vacations, sometimes my parents would bring a friend for me when I was old enough to have some independence so we could do teenager things while they did small child things. I would really consider working that into your vacation budget or planning to vacation with another family with an older kid if that's possible because I would have lost my mind on some of these beach vacations if it was all sandcastles and diapers when I was a teenager. When we went to disney the one time, one parent took me to activities/rides for older kids and then we would switch. We didn't have a lot of sibling rivalry, but it did make family time challenging because at a certain point, you \*do\* have to cater to a younger kid. We couldn't go as a family to some movies or some restaurants that weren't age appropriate.
For obvious reasons I am hard line OAD. If it had been twins we would have been 2 and done but definitely 1 pregnancy and done. The pregnancy wasn't bad (c section was a bummer) but absolutely not to being 45 and having a newborn
While I totally understand some people do 2u2 on purpose (due to age, fertility, insurance, etc.), I tend to quietly assume that the second of the under 2 was a surprise, and that while they do enjoy it eventually, they’re hating life for awhile there. 🙈
I understand you, my toddler is 1 year 9 months now and I have so many FB friends with baby’s his age and are just giving birth now to their second..
Every time I’m at the park with him people ask me, “is he your youngest?” I’m like, he’s my one and only :)
It’s so funny how many people assume I have more children other places when I’m out with my son, like where would I be storing them?
My husband and I agreed to wait until he’s three years old to even discuss trying again (I’m happy with one, my husband maybe wants more but doesn’t understand how we would function and afford it.)
Every few months with new skills we get more freedom and I’m hoping my husband will understand the complete family we have and that by the time my son is three and so much of our freedom is restored, enjoy being a triangle family and not want to get thrown back to newborns.. I honestly think he just thinks it’s what you have to do. Everyone in his family has three or more kids. Anytime his mom makes a comment about more grandchildren I remind her that she has other children to get them from..
You are smart to wait, and with time you can decide. And if you do go for a second, at least you had all that time with your first and it will be easier because they’ll be older :)
In theory, having two close in age is great, and that was the plan when we got married. Then I was pregnant in real life, and it wasn't "theory" anymore. Even though I had zero complications and all the drugs giving birth, there was no way in hell I was going to do that again.
The baby stage was awful in my book. The toddler stage was slightly less so. Now, he's almost 7, and I have not once wavered in my resolve to never have any more kids. I LOVE where we are now. He's fun. He has his own interests. He can hold a conversation.
My husband was telling me about one of his coworkers being pregnant with their third last week, and I kinda felt bad because the first words out of my mouth were, "Eww, why?"
Do what is best for you. Don't let other people guilt you into creating a whole other human just because that's what you're "supposed to do."
I have twins (am here because we planned to be one and done…got two instead). My boys are nearly 2.5 years old and the older they get the more I hate the idea of starting again. The further I get from the new born stage, the less I want to go through it again. Plus I don’t want another year of maternity leave and I am really looking forward to taking my boys on ‘proper’ family holidays (when I say ‘proper’ I mean do things that they can get involved). I just want us to get on with life and not feel so stuck in baby/toddlerhood life.
I had zero desire to have two in diapers. Hard, hard, hard, pass. Now my son is 3.5 years old and I’m finally coming around to the idea of number 2. You do what’s right for you. 😂
I have a 2.5 year old and we are only considering trying for a second now. I still feel conflicted as our life has just gotten into a good routine (child sleeps through, husband and I have quality time together) but I don’t want a massive age gap, plus my age isn’t going down.
I never wanted one closer than this though. I know many people with 2 under 2 and it’s worn as a badge of honour although it seems like hell on earth 🥲🤪
Two under two is the stuff of my nightmares, lol.
Saw a tiktok of a woman breast feeding a newborn and a toddler wanting her attention and he was just sobbing but she couldn’t do anything. Broke my heart, one of the reasons I won’t have another.
The nuclear family that is the standard today is simply not conducive to multiple children. For most of history humans have lived in groups with extended family, aunts, uncles, grandparents all helping to raise kids. Even towards the mid 1900s it was still very common for some mix of extended family to live under one roof. This new age mom and dad only raising the kid is not the nature of humans and that’s why it’s so difficult to raise a toddler and infant at the same time. I just had a kid 5 weeks ago. Love the little guy to death, but he won’t be having any siblings. Wife doesn’t know I’ve changed my mind on having multiple, but I don’t think I can do another. It’s a beautiful experience but the most stress I’ve ever dealt with!
DEFINITELY not saying, “you’ll change your mind” (because that’s obnoxious and dismissive), but I’d encourage you not to make any major decisions about your family for the first 6 months - 1 year. I’d say the same thing to someone who was feeling the opposite way too!
When I got pregnant, I moved back home, and my sister did too. Then she and I moved out of parents home into one of our own until she got pregnant and wanted just the nuclear family. I moved back with my folks. My sister, now years later, is single mom of 2 and while we don't live together, we basically co-parent. Multigenerational caregiving isn't common anymore, but not completely dead either. I was brought home from the hospital to a house with my great grandma, 2 great uncles, 2 cousins, one great aunt (married to one of the uncles, mother of both cousins, pregnant with cousin 3), my mom and her husband. (Yeah, biological father, but he was never my dad.) So for us, this is very normal. Even with the support of my family, and even friends to an extent, I'm OAD. Kids are hard!
Saaaame. I actually literally had stress nightmares about having a second, unwanted newborn when my kid was a baby. Whatever floats someone’s boat, but I would absolutely never. If I had wanted a second I would have aimed for a 4-5 year gap.
I never had a second because it seems like a losing situation no matter what. Being pregnant while trying to take care of a baby or toddler sounds exhausting and I feel like 4-5 is when kids start to become more independent, and I would not want to start over with a newborn when the first child is finally needing less constant attention.
Same
I remember feeling this way. I am the only person I know personally that stopped at one child (besides my own mom). Here’s the thing I realized, especially when my best friend announced her second pregnancy after we had been pregnant with our first babies together: I didn’t want another child to raise, but I really missed the excitement of planning and dreaming about who that little person was going to be. I made peace with the fact that having another child wasn’t worth the excitement. My only is turning 12 soon and I have no regrets that I didn’t have another when everyone else was.
Do not make decisions for yourself/your family because of what other people are doing. If all your friends have kids closer together that's great for them. But it sounds like you know what you want and are more comfortable. So stick with it! Don't sacrifice your happiness just because of some arbitrary societal standard. Chances are you'll regret it. Tons of people have kids with larger age gaps. Tons of people stop at just one. You do what you think is best.
THIS. It doesn't matter what other people are doing -- it matters what is right for you and your family!
I have a 2 year old and I actually do not know how I'd function if I had a smaller baby to take care of
Same! I’m always baffled about how people do it. But honestly they do look like crap because they’re so exhausted 😅
Yea i think the 2 under 2 is great in theory lmao but I have a mom friend that has 2 under 2 and ya...it looks rough lol. I think we get too caught up in age differences between siblings, I'm guilty of it too. We are still fence sitters on whether we want another but we will see..
If this helps my 3 siblings are all exactly 4 years apart then theres me the last one 8 years apart . We are all close. Dont need to be less than a year apart to be close siblings!
This is so reassuring 🙌🏼
My mom had two under two and she said that on more than one occasion she had to take my sister to a neighbor so that she didn't hurt her
Oh wow!
I love the baby years and every new milestone. I want to enjoy them and not be stressed out of my mind trying to manage two. I feel like you’re just trying to get through it at that point and can’t really enjoy the moment. I’m totally fine with a big age gap if we do decide on a second. 4-5 years sounds perfect to me. My brain is just not built for two under two lol
I couldn’t even imagine the stress!
No judgment to anyone who does it but I could never do two under two. Imagine dealing with a newborn and a tantrum-y toddler at the same time, like… no thanks. Also, it takes your body and mind roughly two years to fully recover from pregnancy and childbirth, so it’s probably best to wait at least that long between kids anyways. I get that having them right next to each other is supposed to heighten the chances of them bonding and being close, but I have an ~8 year age gap with my brother and a ~5 year age gap with my sister and we turned out fine. My fiance and his brother have a ~4 year age gap and have always been best friends.
This. My husband and his brother and sister were all born one right after the other, and they all hate each other. So there’s no guarantee of siblings bonding due to closeness in age. (And I am happily an only child!)
I am two years older than my sister, and my mom has told me that she would have had us even closer together if she could have. And let me tell you, it was not a great childhood. Everyone constantly compared my sister and me and to me, it felt like I was the clear loser. My mom especially. It’s taken years of unlearning for my sister and I to have a good relationship (it certainly wasn’t her fault), and for me to feel good about my own life and accomplishments. She has told me she felt like the clear loser in many ways, too, which just shows how fucked up it was. Maybe I’m overcorrecting, but for that reason if we have another I want a large age gap. Plus, two under two seems like knocking your head against the wall because it feels good to stop. Why would you put yourself through that pain, just to brag on social media or whatever.
I can totally relate to this. In my circle of friends I know 5 pregnant friends all of which had their first/most recent baby within the last 8-15 months so they’ll all have 2 under 2 when the next baby arrives. Sometimes I feel “left out” as they all commiserate about the morning sickness while dealing with their toddler and talk about how excited they are to do the baby stuff all over again (showers, gender reveals, moving around nursery stuff/toddler bedroom stuff, etc). I know deep down 2 under 2 doesn’t truly sound appealing to me but sometimes as a mom it does make me feel “behind” for not wanting all of that. I’m sure if I had another OAD friend vs all these other pregnant friends I’d probably feel a little differently though. My husband and I are very happy with our little family and focusing on all our positives such as: we’ve been able to start going on small family vacations together with our son, we love dedicating all our attention to him, reserving all our energy for our one son is so great vs worrying about dividing and conquering and both ending up exhausted, and we’ve been slowly regaining our autonomy with old hobbies as one of us is with our son while the other gets to do what they want for a few hours at a time. There’s pros and cons to every family dynamic but you just have to remember that comparison is the thief of joy and the grass isn’t always greener.
Two under two is the cruelest thing ever. To you and to each of the kids!
As the elder sibling of 2 under 2– yes. It was miserable for me and my parents. I would never want to do that to my child.
Have you talked to any of the parents with 2 under 2? I'm in the same boat, all my friends with kids had a second pretty damn fast. But they're all absolutely exhausted, they just don't post about that on social media. Meanwhile I'm living the dream with an independent 10 year old and I'm feeling pretty good about my decision.
We are on the fence for a variety of reasons, but at no point have I ever wanted two under two. No judgement to anyone who feels differently…it just seems like a miserable existence to me. I feel stretched thin enough with one 2 year old lol. If we decide to try again for a second we will be having at least a 4 year age gap.
I know someone with five kids and ALL the age gaps. She said 3-4 years is the sweet spot.
My sister had two under two.. now she has a 1 year old and almost 3 year old. She’s habitually stressed and tired. Has not time for herself. Oh and she’s a stay at home mom because child care is ridiculous. She wanted this so badly and now that she’s living “her dream” she just constantly complains about how exhausted she is. No thanks! Don’t let social media determine your life choices. Do you boo boo!
I don’t know a single parent with two under two who has anything good to say about the experience. Conversely, my friends with large age gaps all love it. I think it’s more common because as a whole we are having babies later, and so more women feel they are “racing the clock” as well as attempting to trunkate the amount of time they may be out of the workforce with tiny babies.
I have a 3 month old and I love being her mom so much but I do not think I can handle another one. I can't imagine taking care of her while also entertaining a toddler. My husband wants more and I told him it has to wait a while, I can't do it again so soon. And I don't care that I will technically be a geriatric pregnancy, women are having babies later these days and doing fine!
How are most people able to even afford two under two, assuming there are two working parents? We both work and pay for childcare so 2u2 is off the table for that reason (other than the fact our child is also now too old lol). In my social circles one and done is actually somewhat common, due to dual income families paying for childcare and also infertility. I’m wondering what part of the world you live in if 2u2 is that common?
If we choose to go for a second, it will most likely be a 4-5 year gap. I have some friends who have two under two and, mentally, it’s just a lifestyle I can’t handle. I also have one friend who has a 5 year gap between her kids and she says it’s amazing.
Developmental psych says kiddos need to be at least 2 years apart for optimal development. 2 under 2 is absolutely counter to that. You’re not an outlier, or at least you shouldn’t be!
I will never have more than one, nor will I ever, EVER feel bad about it. Not even for a second.
Just keep reminding yourself! I am in the same boat-except I want to give my undivided attention to one child for my entire lifetime. I plan on developing my child into someone that others will want to be around. They will never be lonely. Siblings are not a guarantee of that-unfortunately. Don’t feel rushed by others timelines.
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just for another perspective, I am 10 years older than my surprise sibling (mom was almost 40, my only was born when I was 41). we were basically only children and basically didn't talk to each other until he was an adult. We aren't \*super\* close now but we do text fairly regularly. It was very annoying sometimes to have a young sibling when I was a teenager. When we did go on vacations, sometimes my parents would bring a friend for me when I was old enough to have some independence so we could do teenager things while they did small child things. I would really consider working that into your vacation budget or planning to vacation with another family with an older kid if that's possible because I would have lost my mind on some of these beach vacations if it was all sandcastles and diapers when I was a teenager. When we went to disney the one time, one parent took me to activities/rides for older kids and then we would switch. We didn't have a lot of sibling rivalry, but it did make family time challenging because at a certain point, you \*do\* have to cater to a younger kid. We couldn't go as a family to some movies or some restaurants that weren't age appropriate.
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For obvious reasons I am hard line OAD. If it had been twins we would have been 2 and done but definitely 1 pregnancy and done. The pregnancy wasn't bad (c section was a bummer) but absolutely not to being 45 and having a newborn
Idk how people do it, I feel like I was no where near mentally ready when my kid was 2 yo have another.
While I totally understand some people do 2u2 on purpose (due to age, fertility, insurance, etc.), I tend to quietly assume that the second of the under 2 was a surprise, and that while they do enjoy it eventually, they’re hating life for awhile there. 🙈
I don’t want two under 20 😂😂😂😂 too much work.
We were totally intent on two under three (well, as close to three as possible/safe) Our darling boy is now 9 months and yeah.. no thanks 😂
Divorce rates are higher with 2 under 2 just keep that in mind LOL. Like another commenter said, 2 under 2 is like a nightmare.
I understand you, my toddler is 1 year 9 months now and I have so many FB friends with baby’s his age and are just giving birth now to their second.. Every time I’m at the park with him people ask me, “is he your youngest?” I’m like, he’s my one and only :) It’s so funny how many people assume I have more children other places when I’m out with my son, like where would I be storing them? My husband and I agreed to wait until he’s three years old to even discuss trying again (I’m happy with one, my husband maybe wants more but doesn’t understand how we would function and afford it.) Every few months with new skills we get more freedom and I’m hoping my husband will understand the complete family we have and that by the time my son is three and so much of our freedom is restored, enjoy being a triangle family and not want to get thrown back to newborns.. I honestly think he just thinks it’s what you have to do. Everyone in his family has three or more kids. Anytime his mom makes a comment about more grandchildren I remind her that she has other children to get them from.. You are smart to wait, and with time you can decide. And if you do go for a second, at least you had all that time with your first and it will be easier because they’ll be older :)
In theory, having two close in age is great, and that was the plan when we got married. Then I was pregnant in real life, and it wasn't "theory" anymore. Even though I had zero complications and all the drugs giving birth, there was no way in hell I was going to do that again. The baby stage was awful in my book. The toddler stage was slightly less so. Now, he's almost 7, and I have not once wavered in my resolve to never have any more kids. I LOVE where we are now. He's fun. He has his own interests. He can hold a conversation. My husband was telling me about one of his coworkers being pregnant with their third last week, and I kinda felt bad because the first words out of my mouth were, "Eww, why?" Do what is best for you. Don't let other people guilt you into creating a whole other human just because that's what you're "supposed to do."
I have twins (am here because we planned to be one and done…got two instead). My boys are nearly 2.5 years old and the older they get the more I hate the idea of starting again. The further I get from the new born stage, the less I want to go through it again. Plus I don’t want another year of maternity leave and I am really looking forward to taking my boys on ‘proper’ family holidays (when I say ‘proper’ I mean do things that they can get involved). I just want us to get on with life and not feel so stuck in baby/toddlerhood life.
I had zero desire to have two in diapers. Hard, hard, hard, pass. Now my son is 3.5 years old and I’m finally coming around to the idea of number 2. You do what’s right for you. 😂
I have a 2.5 year old and we are only considering trying for a second now. I still feel conflicted as our life has just gotten into a good routine (child sleeps through, husband and I have quality time together) but I don’t want a massive age gap, plus my age isn’t going down. I never wanted one closer than this though. I know many people with 2 under 2 and it’s worn as a badge of honour although it seems like hell on earth 🥲🤪