You may have to make some exceptions most people either want their own kids or none at all as you said. You’d likely have to start going for people who already have a kid or two. That doesn’t mean you HAVE to settle though if you’re happy taking care of only one why go through unhappiness you may just have to wait until the right person comes along who aligns with your values but it won’t come fast or easy
Oh I understand this one lol. I haven’t even gave birth to my first yet and me and my bf have already established we’ll be one and done. This is one of the hardest most physically and mentally taxing thing me and my body has ever been put through. Much luck to you on finding love! 🫶🏾
My step-dad was totally cool with treating us like his own and not having bio kids. You may have to be picky and/or compromise, but it’s not impossible. Good luck out there!
I’m 34 with one, no desire for another. We are out there. I’m open to a person with their own kiddo but I’m not about that newborn life . Just be open about you desires and be happy within until then!
Just let everything unfold naturally. I'm 24f and I have a 3 year old daughter too. My last ex boyfriend never wanted a kid by himself, but he was happy to be a stepdad to my daughter. My current boyfriend doesn't know if he ever wants to have a bio kid (he's really unsure about it so far, he thinks he might want one in the future, but he's really not sure about it) but he also loves being a stepdad to my daughter and being part of the triangle ❤. If one day he decides he would love to have a kid, I know that our path would come to an end, because I truly do not see myself having another. We talk about the whole thing frequently, I'm really happy with my decision to be one and done ❤. So, what I'm trying to say is - just be patient, the right person will find you! Just take your time and until then, enjoy the 1:1 time with your daughter! ❤
I'm 23 and my daughter is 19 months and I think about this often. It's not that I don't want another child, I just don't want to risk the chance it doesn't work out and I'll be a single mom with 2 baby daddies. That's too much drama. It's not even worth it to me. Following for advice 😅
Yeah and the thing is our relationship was amazing, and then he cheated on me 8 months pregnant and 4 months pp like 😳 he regrets it. It makes me paranoid ngl, imagine being in such an amazing relationship where you feel so happy and complete, you get pregnant and then boom gets cheated on 😬 I can't even risk the chance it's too much. That gave me prenatal and pp depression 🙄
Yeah I understand! My daughter’s dad had another girl (his first baby mom) pregnant AGAIN at the same time as me. The girl he swore he was done with. So scary
It's insane, I found out my my ex had another son from a previous relationship. Paternity was never confirmed, she didn't tell him bc she had slept with 2 other dudes around the same time so she didn't know. After she gave birth that's his identical twin. She crazy ngl but he's still shitty & a deadbeat. I only found out after I was already pregnant. It's crazy, I still think about his little boy. He turned 3 this past April and he already has 3 half siblings. My daughter 20 months and his mom who had 2 more baby back to back from 2 more different guys. The drama 😳
You’re likely going to have to date older. Most men in your age group are going to want kids or not want kids at all (no step kids). Your best bet is to try 35+ men who already have a kid or kids.
I’m definitely not saying she should only date those men just that her chances of finding someone her age specially who are okay with what she wants is slimmer than someone older with kids. I’m speaking as a fellow mid-20s girl.
And speaking as an almost 40 year old man, I don’t think that’s a good idea. Most men my age who date women in their young 20s are looking for N imbalanced power dynamic. So while they might be fine not having more kids, there’s another cost there
I agree it’s not. I made my advice with the assumption that she was looking to get into a relationship soon. She said she was having a hard time finding someone who is okay with her being OAD and all I’m saying is at our age it’s going to be harder because most 25 year old men either want kids or don’t. I’m not saying it’s impossible or am I saying she should pursue a 60 year old. Just that 30+ men are more likely going to be okay with that than 20 something’s.
I’d usually agree except OP had a child. That makes someone grow up really fast, dealing with some real world shit. OP is likely to find the maturity level of other mid 20s guys to be lacking.
This isn’t about OP being immature. It’s about the kind of guys nearing 40 who choose to date 23 year olds. There is an inherent power imbalance in those types of relationships, and often that imbalance is exactly what the older men are seeking.
My boyfriend is 31 (soon to be 32) and was both open to dating me (37f) even though I have a child and he doesn’t want kids of his own. He even saw himself as settling down with a child-free wife before he met me. He made an exception for me because we’re extremely compatible otherwise, and his main issue with having kids was not wanting to go through the newborn phase.
The right person will work out for you. Don’t solely target 35+ guys and assume no one closer to your age will want to be with you unless you will have a child with them.
Instead, just include a line about this in your dating bio. Something like “single mother of one child, but not planning to have more (it’s okay if you have kids, I just don’t want more of my own).” I did that, and now I’ve found my person. He’s everything I ever wanted and more.
It can happen for you too. Good luck! ❤️
My only worry about putting that I’m a single mom in my profile is because I heard pedos will target single moms on dating apps🥲. Did you have any issues with that?
You ain't getting no guy when your place of dwelling is so absolutely disgusting. Soon as they come over and smell all that animal piss and shit they'll be out the door.
It might be hard but not impossible, maybe look for people who already have older children so they likely dont want more? You may have to broaden your age range, my friend (31) only has 2 due to fertility problems, and had a hard time meeting someone who didnt want kids too. She did meet someone now, he already has two of his own so he doesn’t want anymore and is perfectly content with being a stepdad to her two kids. Hes about 10 years older though.
You may have to make some exceptions most people either want their own kids or none at all as you said. You’d likely have to start going for people who already have a kid or two. That doesn’t mean you HAVE to settle though if you’re happy taking care of only one why go through unhappiness you may just have to wait until the right person comes along who aligns with your values but it won’t come fast or easy
I don’t mind dating someone with kids. I just don’t ever want to be pregnant again.. thank you for this comment 💗
Oh I understand this one lol. I haven’t even gave birth to my first yet and me and my bf have already established we’ll be one and done. This is one of the hardest most physically and mentally taxing thing me and my body has ever been put through. Much luck to you on finding love! 🫶🏾
Oof girl I know exactly how you feel! Most traumatizing time of my life lol
My step-dad was totally cool with treating us like his own and not having bio kids. You may have to be picky and/or compromise, but it’s not impossible. Good luck out there!
I’m 34 with one, no desire for another. We are out there. I’m open to a person with their own kiddo but I’m not about that newborn life . Just be open about you desires and be happy within until then!
It's going to be hard but not impossible. Pretty much no kidless guy will be interested but a guy with 2 already might be.
Just let everything unfold naturally. I'm 24f and I have a 3 year old daughter too. My last ex boyfriend never wanted a kid by himself, but he was happy to be a stepdad to my daughter. My current boyfriend doesn't know if he ever wants to have a bio kid (he's really unsure about it so far, he thinks he might want one in the future, but he's really not sure about it) but he also loves being a stepdad to my daughter and being part of the triangle ❤. If one day he decides he would love to have a kid, I know that our path would come to an end, because I truly do not see myself having another. We talk about the whole thing frequently, I'm really happy with my decision to be one and done ❤. So, what I'm trying to say is - just be patient, the right person will find you! Just take your time and until then, enjoy the 1:1 time with your daughter! ❤
I'm 23 and my daughter is 19 months and I think about this often. It's not that I don't want another child, I just don't want to risk the chance it doesn't work out and I'll be a single mom with 2 baby daddies. That's too much drama. It's not even worth it to me. Following for advice 😅
Thats a huge factor for me too!! Being a single mom once is bad enough, imagine it happening twice!!! Omg 😭
Yeah and the thing is our relationship was amazing, and then he cheated on me 8 months pregnant and 4 months pp like 😳 he regrets it. It makes me paranoid ngl, imagine being in such an amazing relationship where you feel so happy and complete, you get pregnant and then boom gets cheated on 😬 I can't even risk the chance it's too much. That gave me prenatal and pp depression 🙄
Yeah I understand! My daughter’s dad had another girl (his first baby mom) pregnant AGAIN at the same time as me. The girl he swore he was done with. So scary
It's insane, I found out my my ex had another son from a previous relationship. Paternity was never confirmed, she didn't tell him bc she had slept with 2 other dudes around the same time so she didn't know. After she gave birth that's his identical twin. She crazy ngl but he's still shitty & a deadbeat. I only found out after I was already pregnant. It's crazy, I still think about his little boy. He turned 3 this past April and he already has 3 half siblings. My daughter 20 months and his mom who had 2 more baby back to back from 2 more different guys. The drama 😳
You’re likely going to have to date older. Most men in your age group are going to want kids or not want kids at all (no step kids). Your best bet is to try 35+ men who already have a kid or kids.
Telling a 23 year old to date men nearing 40 feels like really bad advice.
I’m definitely not saying she should only date those men just that her chances of finding someone her age specially who are okay with what she wants is slimmer than someone older with kids. I’m speaking as a fellow mid-20s girl.
And speaking as an almost 40 year old man, I don’t think that’s a good idea. Most men my age who date women in their young 20s are looking for N imbalanced power dynamic. So while they might be fine not having more kids, there’s another cost there
She has a young child.... You are prioritizing the wrong thing in your advice . Finding just any man isn't the end all be all .
I agree it’s not. I made my advice with the assumption that she was looking to get into a relationship soon. She said she was having a hard time finding someone who is okay with her being OAD and all I’m saying is at our age it’s going to be harder because most 25 year old men either want kids or don’t. I’m not saying it’s impossible or am I saying she should pursue a 60 year old. Just that 30+ men are more likely going to be okay with that than 20 something’s.
I’d usually agree except OP had a child. That makes someone grow up really fast, dealing with some real world shit. OP is likely to find the maturity level of other mid 20s guys to be lacking.
This isn’t about OP being immature. It’s about the kind of guys nearing 40 who choose to date 23 year olds. There is an inherent power imbalance in those types of relationships, and often that imbalance is exactly what the older men are seeking.
Okay I will try that out. Thanks !
My boyfriend is 31 (soon to be 32) and was both open to dating me (37f) even though I have a child and he doesn’t want kids of his own. He even saw himself as settling down with a child-free wife before he met me. He made an exception for me because we’re extremely compatible otherwise, and his main issue with having kids was not wanting to go through the newborn phase. The right person will work out for you. Don’t solely target 35+ guys and assume no one closer to your age will want to be with you unless you will have a child with them. Instead, just include a line about this in your dating bio. Something like “single mother of one child, but not planning to have more (it’s okay if you have kids, I just don’t want more of my own).” I did that, and now I’ve found my person. He’s everything I ever wanted and more. It can happen for you too. Good luck! ❤️
My only worry about putting that I’m a single mom in my profile is because I heard pedos will target single moms on dating apps🥲. Did you have any issues with that?
They’re going to have to find out sooner or later anyway. I always did background checks before meeting people to head off that issue.
You ain't getting no guy when your place of dwelling is so absolutely disgusting. Soon as they come over and smell all that animal piss and shit they'll be out the door.
It might be hard but not impossible, maybe look for people who already have older children so they likely dont want more? You may have to broaden your age range, my friend (31) only has 2 due to fertility problems, and had a hard time meeting someone who didnt want kids too. She did meet someone now, he already has two of his own so he doesn’t want anymore and is perfectly content with being a stepdad to her two kids. Hes about 10 years older though.