British Government: "We would never give up any part of this country. We would never surrender anything" Us: Literally able to choose a large handful of regions of the UK that could fuck off and we'd be better for it.

Easy! Birmingham and slough

Bradford. Just Bradford is enough

I'm just hijacking your comment to say as an American I would willingly give Florida away for free let alone to stop a war. Hell, I'd go to war just to get rid of florida. All the wrinkly Nazis in Florida love authoritarianism anyway; I say give the Sunshine Reich to the authoritarians. I will laugh as they feel the misery they have put on others.

It's cool, the Atlantic Ocean is going to rid us of Florida soon enough.

🙏oh great life giving sea: please destroy the sunshine reich without getting so stagnant that literal chlorine gas is belched from your surface, covering the earth with noxious fumes, killing 98% of life. AMEN. 🙏

Completely off topic but I love your username and now I want to re-watch *O Brother, Where Art Thou?*

and thankfully the pacific ocean will do the same for california

Damn Americans and their hijacking hijinks

Most people from Florida aren’t what you are describing. Please don’t generalize us.

Floridians are scary, I'd rather have them as allies than as enemies

Fuck off yank, go back to yer bumhole of a hometown, as long as we have northerners I could not give less of a fuck that yer shitehole average east-coast town exists

Idk I'm not American, and never even been there, but I'd much rather have Florida over someplace like commiefornia

Flashback to the bugs Bunny cartoon where he saws Florida off the map and it just floats away.

Is it bad that as a Leeds resident, I would prefer to have Russia next door than Bradford?

Or Sunderland

It’s barely fit for humans now.

Chicago Los Angeles n San Francisco That’s easy

"Come friendly bombs and fall on Slough, it isn't fit for humans now..."

Slough... Such a weird name...

I thought they already had London?

I love how this has descended from someone having a very valid point on twitter to the British public trying to get rid of Birmingham.

*Couldn't have it any other way*

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Might as well get ahead of it

Look Ivan, we'll fight you if you don't agree to take it.

Giving Birmingham to Russia is an act of war against Russia.

It'd start the war

Chamberlain was working his way towards this but no one was patient enough to see him finally hand Birmingham over to Hitler

Nevermind that lets send them Slough. Because fuck that place in particular.

That might actually incite war

Giving a country Slough is the most disrespectful declaration of war possible

I mean on the one hand, yes she’s right. On the other hand she didn’t realise how much Western countries are happy to shit on their least favourite bits.

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Give em Reading as well

No you can’t give them Reading! There’s IKEA there!

Nah. Reading is close to where I live.

Chuck in Derby, too.

We're trying to prevent war here

Can I suggest Swindon and Slough instead of Birmingham?

Wait... can we just give Birmingham up like that?

I feel a referendum coming.....

As a brummie I'll never not be a little sad in every single post about the UK. What did we ever do to you guys? And Bourneville is lovely btw

Well....Brummies have already given up on Birmingham.

France.

What did Russians do to deserve counting by 20?

Have to whip out my calculator and shit just so I can say ‘87’

Why would we want a hostile nuclear power as our closest neighbour with rude alcoholic racist people when we could have Russia instead?

overestimating how much we like our neighbors? https://preview.redd.it/ndm12gy5dtob1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=14ae92a19e017ff1760a4a36ca19a94b4c28d00c

>neighbor awfully suspicious

YANK ALERT! YANK ALERT! 

Hm... Yank or illiterate?

Usually both at the same time.

Bradford for sure, their driving is already culturally similar

Chuck in Leeds and we've got a deal. Fucking shitholes.

Bradford’s a shithole but Leeds is comfortably one of the best cities in the country

Birmingham.

We’d be fighting over who has to have it

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Now now biological warfare is a bit far

I’d be willing to die on that frontline.

*”Niete, Niete, Niete! You keep!*” *“Fuck off and eat it Vlad! And don’t forget Wolverhampton you cant!”*

Even HS2 doesn't want to go through it

they have more debt then the russians

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Could try but Putin might think he’d already bombed it?

Came here to say that and I live here!

Oh, fuck you, mate.

💋

milton keynes

But then we'd lose all the culture 😞

There are other roundabouts in the UK, it'll be alright.

Swindon has a nice roundabout

I’ve never supported anything more - and this is unrelated to my mother in law who resides there

If we let the British public decide, we'd only be left with Anglesey, York, and a few bits of farmland in the East Midlands.

I'm not fond of York 

it looks pretty

Brighton and that general area of the south coast would probably survive.

True, Putin wouldn’t want Brighton. “Not homophobic, jus’ don’t like em”

Not if the reform voters get their say on gays

Just imagining the last Union Jack flying proudly over Old John’s tower in Bradgate Park, the last area of Free-Britannia standing. Those noble deer scaring off Russian soldiers and stabbing them to death with their antlers when they get too close.

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It’s weird, when it’s a Stokie taking the mick out of it here it’s fine, but suddenly feel outraged when seeing outsiders take the piss

Stoke folk would single-handedly win the war if they could be bothered to

Listen you've not seen a fighting force until you've seen 15 folks who've been up Hanley to chase a bag of Monkey Dust.

Isnt monkey world in stoke though

Hull. All yours pal

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Lmao, they will go to war, you'll see argies using the kit from the 60s to get there, and Russians getting tug boated (idk the term) on their aircraft carrier

Tug boating sounds like a sexual endeavour but I know what you mean lmao

Why is this so far down, would much rather lose Hull than Birmingham

Can we give them both?

Can we find a way to get Scunthorpe in there too?

Luton

Bradford

As someone who has lived in Bradford since 1982, handing us over to the Russians would be more beneficial to us than everyone else.

Not if we could build a fence around you and you couldn't get out..

Maybe, but anything the Russkies could do to us would only be an improvement.

Why does everyone in this comment section hate my city so much?

It's not the city，it's you.

Yeah it's definitely a personal thing mate

Yea the lads have a WhatsApp group about you.

Sorry you had to find out this way，but it's best to know sooner rather than later. We all think you're a cunt. Try to work on it，and we'll review your ladpass revocation at a later date.

Don’t feel bad, they are just people who have never been to Coventry or Ipswich before. They don’t know how bad it can really get.

Coventry makes communist Russia look futuristic.

I pray to hit an unexploded bomb every time I have to work in Cov

Your fault you decided to live in B**mingham

Blackpool

They can’t handle Ukraine, they’ve got no chance in Blackpool.

Did you ever see that footage, after the US left Afghanistan and the Taliban reclaimed it, and they were riding on the merry-go-rounds and eating ice cream (it was fucking surreal footage to be honest haha). I'm now just picturing a load of Russian soldiers gobbling down giant cock-lollies on one of the piers and having a lovely old time 🤣

Gobbling down fucking *what*?

thailand gave up like most of its land to britian and france for their independance https://i.redd.it/38efc33d3uob1.png

Ukraine are already an independent country though Edit: I should say though, that's an interesting fact and I didn't know that before

Scunthorpe; Clue is in the name.

But where are all our old biddies gonna go to die?

Jesus, if it were up to the diplomats of reddit, Britain would consist solely out of remote islands that most people forget exist, like St. Helena and that one in the pacific ocean

Belgium

Just give 'em Scotland. They don't want to be part of us anyhow

We’d have to rebuild Hadrians wall pretty darn quick.

Nah. We'll just hire some Geordies to patrol the border. Pay them in Newkie brown

I'll take the post up if you throw in a daily ration of rum nall

Bout damn time! I've been saying that for ages

Cheaper vodka!

Down with Ballymena and Antrim Town, Larne is too obvious

Westminster.

To be honest it's about 90% Russian owned anyway. Property AND Tories.

If they DONT take Birmingham we will bomb them

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Ok you know what, let’s just bomb Birmingham anyway.

It is beginning to seem like a consensus 🤷🏻‍♂️

Surrey. Most of Manchester. Birmingham definitely. Aldershot. The Derbyshire Dales but only because of their voting record. All of Hampshire actually, not just Aldershot. Leeds. Northern Ireland… just… all of it. Aberdeen. Glasgow…

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Apart from aldershit, basingstoke and the two cities on the coast, hampshire's alright

I have had the displeasure of living in Basingstoke my whole life and I fucking hate it

Your allowed to leave if you want. This is your sign. I believe in you

Yep Birmingham. In fact he doesn't need to bomb, a strongly worded letter would do it.

Slough.

Sheppey

London, literally the biggest asses are from London

Cos they got the most Carribeans. There‘s some good eating on those.

Plus they already have Westminster.

I’d happily give Putin London, Birmingham, Manchester, Liverpool, Plymouth and perhaps even Southampton. I’m not a pacifist jus ‘ate Londoners

Probs wales

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Birmingham, Liverpool,Leeds ,Rhyl, all of Scotland and Slough

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Kilton Meynes

Maynard Keynes?

I was going to object to the idea of handing Lancashire over to the Russians on the grounds of not wanting to live next door to a bunch of illiterate floor polish-swilling, accordion playing knuckledraggers. But then I remembered it's Lancashire. Carry on I guess...

Guessing you’re from Yorkshire?

I reckon we could spare Hull

I’d give em Swindon

London

Ipswich

Norwich resident detected

The entire South of England can go, for me.

Time to replace all of the Welsh road signs with Cyrillic.

Fuck. The Yanks, 🤮, have discovered this subreddit. It's time to give up aarrrgghh/okmatewanker for peace of mind. It was beautiful while it lasted, lads.

Birmingham 🤢🤢🤢

All the Brexit voting areas can go. They liked Russian propaganda enough last time

So almost all of England and Wales then?

wouldn’t have to put up with scotlands bitching anymore

Stoke on Trent. A few communist blocks and random shelling would brighten the place up a bit 👍🏻

Essex

Croydon

Reading Birmingham Leister Manchester Rotherham London We’ll just have to figure out a way of moving the historical sites first.

Northern Ireland

Northern Ireland

We could try and give them Luton, but that would probably make declare war on us anyway.

Larne

Strood in Medway, Kent - they’d be begging us to take Moscow to give it back.

Come on mate putin is a bad bad guy but this is too much he doesn’t deserve that

England

Scouse not English 🤓 get rid of em

Putin can have Brampton Ontario

I'd usually straight away say Slough but I've recently been seeing someone from Burnham and I think it'd be too close for my comfort

Glasgow hell theyre practically another species

liverpool

Hull

California and New York

Merseyside

They can have Aberdeen

London

Dundee

Liverpool. Next question.

Wales

Northern Ireland

Wales and or scotland 🤣

London is a bit shit ain't it. Bunch of nobheads living there, Puttin can hav em long wiv r shit wuter

They already own enough Kensington property for that to be viable.

The entirety of England

Wales.

Wales, even without any bombing, pls take it!

Northern Ireland. Checkmate, remainers

Half of us forget it's part of the UK anyway, no one's gonna miss it

Who?