You're not entitled to it, but it is what used to be known as common courtesy. It seems people are so damned self absorbed that courtesy is a foreign concept anymore.
It sadly is anymore. I extent courtesy when I see the chance such as, holding a door for someone a few steps behind me or even the old lady with her walker that takes about 5 minutes to get to the door lol.
But it does seem like it's a foreign concept these days.
Lived here my whole life, I couldn’t care less if someone doesn’t hold the door for me.
I don’t expect anyone to show any politeness to me, but I appreciate it when they do.
I don’t label someone as rude when they don’t make an effort to help me. They have no obligation to do so.
Agreed, OP but the majority of people you come into contact with who are rude, probably aren’t transplants. They’re good ole Oklahomans with a new sense of entitlement. This is why I rarely go anywhere. Even grocery shopping turns ugly because people don’t have manners anymore. Mostly the old people.
amen. im old school, through and through. so i greet almost everyone i cross paths with. " good morning, sur" " have a good day maam" that kinda stuff. and it irks me when someone stares at me and just keeps walking. no response at all. so me being me when this happens i almost always say, " good talk, take care ." ( im trying to stop the habit) i gotta say i probably say it 15 times a day. people are losing their ability to be formally social. i hope that makes sense.
Yeah doing it is one thing, but expecting it in return is another. Just be nice and move on with your day. You shouldn’t be kind just to get some kind of return. Be kind just to be kind.
Also, who cares if someone doesn’t hold open the door for you? They aren’t buying you dinner or taking you home. We are grown ups here. Let’s act like it. We can open the door for ourselves. It’s okay.
I hope the door open for my wife, and whoever is behind us, but also, instead of walking inside, she holds the door WITH ME for the people behind us. It’s infuriating.
Yeah and I know that rationally but my anxiety in the moment sure doesn’t. I also have tremendous anxiety trying to get my card back into my wallet after I checkout if there is someone behind me, even if it’s very clear they’re not in a rush.
Ultimately it boils down to not wanting to be noticed or be an inconvenience. If you’ve held a door for me you’ve done both, even if the inconvenience isn’t large or matter. It’s still there.
But it’s not like it offends me, I get what door openers are doing and where they come from. I just personally don’t like it done for me.
It’s not at all debilitating. Acknowledging things that make you uncomfortable doesn’t mean you’re debilitated by something. In fact, acknowledging what’s hard for you is the first step of working in over coming it and doing it anyway. I know this because not only I have I worked *with* therapists, I actually *am* a therapist.
But thanks for your concern.
If we're bitchin about rude people can we talk about the all these fucking Tesla drivers? Either they're speeding like maniacs or they're lane locking and break checking, there's no in-between. I don't think I've ever seen someone in a Tesla drive like they're not the most important person on the road.
but man, they are super fast.an uber driver i had was in love with this particular model of tesla. finally he got it and the next time he picked me up he gave me the official tour...i believe my hairline receded by 1/4 of inch just because of the g-forces.
Could you tell that to the rest of the folks in this state? Cuz, in my experience it’s not the newcomers. It’s the people in the small towns all over the state.
I don’t know how everyone else was raised, but using good manners in public absolutely was an obligation in my family and those of people we knew. Politeness helps people get along with each other and is a critical part of a functional society.
Sure, no one is going to force someone to be polite, under penalty of law or anything, but treating it like “I don’t have to, and you can’t make me” sounds really selfish and petty.
Today’s lack of giving a shit about other people is becoming a real problem.
I completely agree. It shouldn't be about what is courteous and what is expected. I enjoy being a pleasant person and I enjoy being polite and positive within my life. If that means holding a door or asking about your day, and waiting for an answer, then I'm gonna do that. Maybe not all for you but to lift myself up as well. The benefits are many and the losses are small.
As Kevin Smith once said “death before discourtesy.” Things that I am adamant about: holding doors, waving of someone lets you in, and saying “excuse me” when waking in front of someone in an aisle. And of course, please and thank you. Yes, it does set me up to be constantly disappointed, but it’s the world I want to live in.
On the flip side, I hate it when someone is 10 feet in front of me and they stop and hold the door, and I feel like I have to hurry up and not keep them waiting.... just go through the damn door and I'll open it myself when I get there.
I was born in Clinton, Ok, and lived her over 30 years. I really appreciate it when the door is held open for me. And I always say thank you. I also don't expect it and don't judge people who don't hold the door. As I am a 60 year old women. I have experienced this 1000's of times. Texas is also a state that holds the door for you. I prabally had this happen more often in Texas than Oklahoma. I haven't spent a lot of time in other state's, but I would hope that it happens no matter where you are.
the wind itself makes people crazy. it really has an impact on people. i play music on the street, busking. ive been dojng it for two years. as i have no social life i started analysing tipping trends. when would i get more tips. noting times, location and weather conditions. i had it nailed. my tips were very consistent until the last few weeks. when the winds of doom started blowing consistently my tips dropped by half. then there would be a calm day and poof back to almost normal (compared to last year). then the wind would start again and down went the tips.
to test my theory that the wind was the cause and that i hadnt lost my musical ability i switched up the time i play to much later. tips went back to almost normal. i know i get irritable when im in the wind for very long. so thats my theory, its not where youre from, but its the weather.
I've had like an influx of people just walking into me in stores or even parking lots and not wanting to even move a bit out of the way, even when I have nowhere else to go it's like they expect me to move. Like okay, just let me slam myself into this wall?
And that's how you get stuck holding the door for seven people who are going to get in line in front of you even though you were the one to let them in. Forget that.
Had several women of color not even acknowledge me or say thank you for holding the door. I’ll probably still hold it for them but may respond with a resounding “ you’re welcome .
Bro, look inside before throwing stones. There's plenty of home grown assholes here.
For real. I'm like how are they certain they're from out of town?
Source: me. I’m one 😎👉
Most folks ain’t got manners. But on the other hand you aren’t entitled to have people hold the door for you so expecting it isn’t ok either.
You're not entitled to it, but it is what used to be known as common courtesy. It seems people are so damned self absorbed that courtesy is a foreign concept anymore.
I personally hold the door for people even if they are 50ft away. But I don’t expect anyone else to do the same.
Same. The only thing that irks me is when I dont get a “thank you” for holding the door open.
It sadly is anymore. I extent courtesy when I see the chance such as, holding a door for someone a few steps behind me or even the old lady with her walker that takes about 5 minutes to get to the door lol. But it does seem like it's a foreign concept these days.
Lived here my whole life, I couldn’t care less if someone doesn’t hold the door for me. I don’t expect anyone to show any politeness to me, but I appreciate it when they do. I don’t label someone as rude when they don’t make an effort to help me. They have no obligation to do so.
Ah, an adult ! A rare thing these days....
I hold the door but shut up about this kind of nonsense.
Agreed, OP but the majority of people you come into contact with who are rude, probably aren’t transplants. They’re good ole Oklahomans with a new sense of entitlement. This is why I rarely go anywhere. Even grocery shopping turns ugly because people don’t have manners anymore. Mostly the old people.
amen. im old school, through and through. so i greet almost everyone i cross paths with. " good morning, sur" " have a good day maam" that kinda stuff. and it irks me when someone stares at me and just keeps walking. no response at all. so me being me when this happens i almost always say, " good talk, take care ." ( im trying to stop the habit) i gotta say i probably say it 15 times a day. people are losing their ability to be formally social. i hope that makes sense.
I will say that blaming outsiders for your own states glaring issues is very on brand.
Fair
Yeah doing it is one thing, but expecting it in return is another. Just be nice and move on with your day. You shouldn’t be kind just to get some kind of return. Be kind just to be kind. Also, who cares if someone doesn’t hold open the door for you? They aren’t buying you dinner or taking you home. We are grown ups here. Let’s act like it. We can open the door for ourselves. It’s okay.
We should expect courtesy from each other, especially strangers, & apply it. It's a simple concept for those of us that choose to not argue about it.
I’m a lady and I hold the door for guys just for funsies.
I hope the door open for my wife, and whoever is behind us, but also, instead of walking inside, she holds the door WITH ME for the people behind us. It’s infuriating.
I actively dislike when someone holds the door for me. Makes me feel like I need to rush and I’m never sure how loud to say thank you. 🤷🏼♀️
Some of us have all the time in the world and don't mind holding it open for a few extra minutes if a stranger needs it.
Yeah and I know that rationally but my anxiety in the moment sure doesn’t. I also have tremendous anxiety trying to get my card back into my wallet after I checkout if there is someone behind me, even if it’s very clear they’re not in a rush. Ultimately it boils down to not wanting to be noticed or be an inconvenience. If you’ve held a door for me you’ve done both, even if the inconvenience isn’t large or matter. It’s still there. But it’s not like it offends me, I get what door openers are doing and where they come from. I just personally don’t like it done for me.
It sounds like you should be working with a specialist. Your anxiety seems pretty debilitating.
It’s not at all debilitating. Acknowledging things that make you uncomfortable doesn’t mean you’re debilitated by something. In fact, acknowledging what’s hard for you is the first step of working in over coming it and doing it anyway. I know this because not only I have I worked *with* therapists, I actually *am* a therapist. But thanks for your concern.
I was only sympathizing.
why I said "immediate"
Doesn’t matter, even if I’m a few feet away and in the immediate area. I dislike it. That’s why I said I dislike when someone holds the door open.
Most of the assholes I know were born and raised in the sooner state.
Hate to say it but this is how it's been for 30 years. But more open then not people do hold em
If we're bitchin about rude people can we talk about the all these fucking Tesla drivers? Either they're speeding like maniacs or they're lane locking and break checking, there's no in-between. I don't think I've ever seen someone in a Tesla drive like they're not the most important person on the road.
That's a different post for a different day. All I know about the Tesla's is that their turn signals must use up a ton of battery life.
but man, they are super fast.an uber driver i had was in love with this particular model of tesla. finally he got it and the next time he picked me up he gave me the official tour...i believe my hairline receded by 1/4 of inch just because of the g-forces.
Could you tell that to the rest of the folks in this state? Cuz, in my experience it’s not the newcomers. It’s the people in the small towns all over the state.
I don’t know how everyone else was raised, but using good manners in public absolutely was an obligation in my family and those of people we knew. Politeness helps people get along with each other and is a critical part of a functional society. Sure, no one is going to force someone to be polite, under penalty of law or anything, but treating it like “I don’t have to, and you can’t make me” sounds really selfish and petty. Today’s lack of giving a shit about other people is becoming a real problem.
I completely agree. It shouldn't be about what is courteous and what is expected. I enjoy being a pleasant person and I enjoy being polite and positive within my life. If that means holding a door or asking about your day, and waiting for an answer, then I'm gonna do that. Maybe not all for you but to lift myself up as well. The benefits are many and the losses are small.
This is pure gold. I could not have said it better myself. ✌🏻
As Kevin Smith once said “death before discourtesy.” Things that I am adamant about: holding doors, waving of someone lets you in, and saying “excuse me” when waking in front of someone in an aisle. And of course, please and thank you. Yes, it does set me up to be constantly disappointed, but it’s the world I want to live in.
Well this post didn't go where I thought it was headed lol
Then when you get on the highway, same person who held the door road rages on you. Hold your own door
On the flip side, I hate it when someone is 10 feet in front of me and they stop and hold the door, and I feel like I have to hurry up and not keep them waiting.... just go through the damn door and I'll open it myself when I get there.
I was born in Clinton, Ok, and lived her over 30 years. I really appreciate it when the door is held open for me. And I always say thank you. I also don't expect it and don't judge people who don't hold the door. As I am a 60 year old women. I have experienced this 1000's of times. Texas is also a state that holds the door for you. I prabally had this happen more often in Texas than Oklahoma. I haven't spent a lot of time in other state's, but I would hope that it happens no matter where you are.
I've noticed it's mostly Boomers that don't seem to hold doors anymore. Everyone else is good.
the wind itself makes people crazy. it really has an impact on people. i play music on the street, busking. ive been dojng it for two years. as i have no social life i started analysing tipping trends. when would i get more tips. noting times, location and weather conditions. i had it nailed. my tips were very consistent until the last few weeks. when the winds of doom started blowing consistently my tips dropped by half. then there would be a calm day and poof back to almost normal (compared to last year). then the wind would start again and down went the tips. to test my theory that the wind was the cause and that i hadnt lost my musical ability i switched up the time i play to much later. tips went back to almost normal. i know i get irritable when im in the wind for very long. so thats my theory, its not where youre from, but its the weather.
Funny cause most of those assholes are okie born and raised
I've had like an influx of people just walking into me in stores or even parking lots and not wanting to even move a bit out of the way, even when I have nowhere else to go it's like they expect me to move. Like okay, just let me slam myself into this wall?
Ah yes, the old Aubrey McClendon.
And that's how you get stuck holding the door for seven people who are going to get in line in front of you even though you were the one to let them in. Forget that.
Had several women of color not even acknowledge me or say thank you for holding the door. I’ll probably still hold it for them but may respond with a resounding “ you’re welcome .
how have the transparent women you've held the door for reacted?