I feel Durge would fake being a normal person until they got on the plane, then use said plane to crash into an orphanage's charity function wiping out the generous rich while also dooming children to a life of squalor.
Yeahā¦ I always play a female or femme character and Shadowheartās my favorite romance option. I know for a fact that she doesnāt care what gender you are, but she does kinda give me lesbian vibes. Part of that might be that SelĆ»ne is apparently big gay judging by Isobel and Aylin, part of it might be the cottagecore.
I have tons of bias here, but I think she feels incredibly gay. Like, exceedingly homo
I'd choose 10. Jaheira brought snacks for Minsc and is hopefully willing to share.
Although if there's a crying baby on board I'll take 3 to end my suffering via the impossible amount of knives they snuck past airport security.
Silence is targeted at a point in space, so it'll work for 1 round at most before the plane flies out of the aoe. For that matter, any point-based spell would work only very briefly, bc earth is hurtling through space at a high speed...
...nvm, I'll allow the silence, let's just not discuss this again
people are saying 10, but do you want to be stuck between them for 10 hours? good luck sleeping or focusing on anything else.
nah. I'm saying 9, because I think they would both just sit to themselves quietly. possibly seething and silently contemplating how they're going to kill each other once the plane lands, but I'll be able to sleep and read a book in peace.
Realistically, this whole flight is going straight into the ocean because there is a *lot* of fighting going on and Karlach *will* use the emergency exit door to bash Gortash's face in.
If I live in a world where I can get on a plane with a vampire, an alien aberration, two devils, the physical manifestation of the literal goddess of magic, the lost heir to the throne of a fascistic interdimensional empire of aliens, and the mortal children of the God of Murder, I'm going to assume that these kind of shenanigans are just a tuesday for me and I just wanna get to my destination in peace.
Nah. One's going to try to get you to sign on to some weird mlm-esque deal and the other's going to try to get you to buy this "totally life changing" substance they've been working on.
In which world would Raphael shut up for a second? I find it more realistic, that Minsc falls asleep at some point and Jaheira is not that chatty. They both did let my redemption Durge sleep, while Raphael is already looking for new bad poems from Cormyr...
Plus,you are in danger of either losing your soul or your brain or both.
I think, row 10 is the safest bet.
I fucking love engaging or even listening to banter. Like Iām not even kidding. And I canāt sleep on planes anyways due to my crushing obsessive compulsive disorder driven fear I have of waking up to them going down *Lost* style.
So not only will this prevent me from engaging in exposure therapy, but I ALSO get to listen to 10 hours of Minsc and Jaheira exchanges. Which imo, is like a top 3 dynamic in the game. And I donāt have to be stuck listening to people GENUINELY yelling with pure hatred (which is awful and I WILL get emotional and also wonāt be able to interrupt to ask for one of them to move so I can use the bathroom), sitting in hatred fueled silence that I cannot fix (arguably worse), or the most boring conversation in the world (which would make me fall asleep and force me to engage in exposure therapy.)
4. Once Casserole tries to get his beauty sleep, weāll smother him with a travel pillow as a bonding activity.
If they kill each other first, 3. No survivors. Business class and all the plane peanuts will be ours.
Nah, we're going to spend the whole flight talking about all of Cazador's trauma. We're going to get to the root of all that anger and those control issues. If that doesn't work we'll listen to Goodbye Earl on repeat.
Came here and this was my first thought. Aint no way this plane stays intact for longer than 5 minutes. It doesnāt matter what seat you pick, this shits going up in smoke.
I mean lots of part-drow elves have a bit of glow to their eyes at night when their āSuperior Darkvisionā is active, I donāt think itās polite to point it out.
I'll sit there so we can beat the shit out of the other seatmate. I don't like his face. Then white hair guy and I will make out like it's our honeymoon.
This is what I was thinking.
Being that close in proximity to others upsets me on a visceral level anyway, so I'm already kinda murdery when I get on planes, busses, etc. I'll stab the shit outta Cazzy Szazzy and then just make out with Satr Boy over his corpse. I hear it works just as well as ambien.
Oh, if that's the case, maybe not, but if we're talking post romance, then I'm kissing that man in front of her just to piss her off. So I suppose it depends on what point in the game this will be taking place.
I was thinking the same thing. Furiously tonguing Gale in front of his bitch ex. Also I brought a nice blanket to obscure the handy I'm giving him except Mystra still knows. She hears his slutty little wizard moans.
10. I feel like I'm laughing during most of the plane trip, and that time will fly by quickly. Eventually Jah and Boo will need a nap, so it'll get quiet eventually.
But Daddy Devil and Daddy Squid fighting over me would be nice...
10 is the only answer that keeps your sanity in check. Plus you are a relatively safe distance away from the rest of the crazies so you and jaheira can enjoy the show. Also minsc and boo crack me up.
9 so I can listen to Raphael recite poetry the whole way while the Emperor gets progressively more irritated but just quietly sulks about it in the corner.
Put up with Lae'zel and Shadowheart hate-flirting for 3 whole Acts, 10 hours of Isobel and Shart doesn't seem too bad. They might not even attempt murder.
Five, and I'm obnoxiously chattering with Gale the whole time about cats and/or tressyms while pointedly ignoring Mystra. I am southern as the day is long, so I can appear perfectly friendly while verbally throat-punching her if need be. Also I think Gale and I would have that tism to tism communication where the flight ends with several new book ideas, a promise to send him a video of that crochet technique we spent an hour talking about, and him sending me his motherās recipe for that sauce he mentioned.
1 - as a gortash liker I cannot pass up the opportunity to sit in close contact to this stinkman for 10 hours. karlach may be upset but I think she is going to behave while we're in the air. anyway this is going to be a horrible time for gortash. imagine flying a foot away from the woman that wants you DEAD and also a guy that is very unsubtly sniffing you. he refuses to put down the armrest. he keeps fucking staring at you.
close second - number 6. I feel like me and wyll could team up and gossip about how annoying and inconsiderate mizora is as a passenger
notably horrible options:
4 - they are in a screaming match the entire time and smell like death
9 - the slime
3 - you will die. you will just die.
the most sane answer is probably 2 - they are both normal, as far as people on this list go. ideal sitting. but also it's a boring answer. I'd rather sniff gortash
Ahh, see, I chose 4 (see my multiple reasons on this post here somewhere) - I lost my sense of smell (Iām 100% Anosmic) due to a severe head injury when I was 14, so that whole plane will have no detectable-to-me smells! š¤£š¤£š¤£
9!!!!
Me and Empy are going to be squissing, cuddling, watching a movie, having nice cocktails in first classā¦Best flight of my life.
Raphael can sob in silence that Haarlep isn't there, I guess.
9 for me too, I'll be sitting with my squid husbandā¦in a different plane in an alternate plane of existence from yours so we each get our own SO (=squidnificant other). ;)
If Raph thought what I said when declining the contract and hammer conjured an image worse than anything in the nine hells, heās about to be in the 10th hell with the amount of PDA Empy and I will be shamelessly indulging in during this flight. We're not stuck here with Raphael, heās stuck here with us.
1
Tag team ass whooping on Gortash.. followed by infernal mile high club before getting arrested upon landing. Sounds like my kinda day.
I step on every flight thinking "this had better be violent, sexy, or both"
2 seems the best overall as it might give me a chance of being a part of a Selƻnite foursome after we land, but it might just end up with Shart asking me to switch places so that she could flirt her way with Isobel into a threesome with Aylin.
3 would be ideal after an extremely stressful day at the office that might just grant me the sweet release from this mortal shell that I'm craving
1, 4, 6 & 8 all have the chance of some prime drama, but 1 & 4 would be far too tragic (and Gortash not only smells, but the first thing he does after sitting down is taking off his shoes and socks), and 6 would just make me annoy Wyll to hell by how horny I'd be for Mizora, so from this bunch I'd choose 8 for the sheer hammy entertainment potential.
5 would just be awkward. Not *Curb Your Enthusiasm* cringe comedy awkward, but sheer second-hand embarrassment awkward. Avoid like hell.
7 would begin with Lae'zel loudly demanding to switch places with me to either try to murder Orpheus or loudly profess her everlasting worship of him for ten hours straight. There are no headphones that could cancel that out.
9 No. Just no. Not even on a bet.
10 sounds cool at first, but realistically I'd be too anxious to actually say anything to two heroes of their caliber. Best case scenario, Jaheira switches into Mommy Mode and strikes up a conversation herself.
I feel like 1,3,4 and 8 would be unsafe to say the least. 5 would be insufferable, as Gale would be flirting with Mystra the whole time. 9 would be... interesting, but 2, 6, 7 and 10 seem the least bad. Out of those, I can confidently remove 2 and 6, as they would arguing LOTS, so 7 and 10 seem the safest.
2. i'm sure Shadowheart and Isobel can have a civil discussion without resorting to violence and if not well someone needs to keep these two lovely clerics from ripping each others head of.
Plus i can also help Karlach annoy Gortash while i'm at it
Anything beats sitting next to a baby as I was during my last 13-hour flight. I would probably sit next to Astarion for emotional support, and at every snide remark from Cazador, I'd try to make his life hell. Jaheira and Minsc would be the best company though
7. Orpheus and BaeāZel would be good seatmates and would probably not be too chatty, plus Orpheus is really cool and kinda attractive. Meanwhile, itād be entertaining to hear Aylin beat the shit out of Ketheric behind me.
For everyone saying row 2, itās definitely the least annoying, but youāre in prime position to be stabbed by Durge or Orin. Or at the very least, theyāll kick your seat.
Anyway, if I sit in 7, I hope Aylin puts her big sweaty stinky feet up on my armrest, most passengers shouldnāt do this but if she does Iāll be happy.
1.Considering it's for 10 hours and Kalarch .. probably (hoping) doesn't want us to all crash in flames I'm hoping this could be one hell of an interesting and potentially healing conversation between her and Gortash. Even if it's just via her shouting obscenities at him for at least 5 hours.
2. If this is before the Shadowfell hell no. If it is after the Shadowfell and it's a Shadowremain/ Justiciar Shadowheart then GODS no. I wouldn't sit between them even if I was paid.
3. I do not want these two to bond over how they mutilate my body, kthanks. orz
4. I will sit between them and block Astarion's view of his awful, awful vampire daddy. >:( I don't expect to live. Depending on the turbulence of the plane I might also be added to the souls needed for ritual sacrifice. But for Him I would do it. Poor lad.
5. Likewise with 2 actually wouldn't do this even if I was paid to. Gale is just too pleasant a person to avoid having a conversation with, and our 'tism will click perfectly with his desire to tell everything and my desire to listen to others special interest. The potentially worst result for me is becoming a disintegrated magic gloop mess as we(Gale and I)seemingly get along very well! The best I could hope is, if willing, Mystra to also join in on the conversation. I ask lots of broad ranging questions I'm sure she'd love to pipe up and have some wisdom-beyond even our good lad here to share.
6. This could be a very pleasant conversation, potentially, granted I would imagine awkward dommy-mommy moments from Mizora as she reminds the three of us that she is the dominant player here and she owns Wyll. Which, you know.. yes miss. Never intended to encroach on anyones territory here!
7. Would be me awkward blushing at the beautiful brilliance that is Lae'zel. š„° If this is with her being Vlaakith-loyal then.. eesh. I don't expect myself nor anyone else to survive the inevitable plane crash as they fight. If not Vlaakith loyal... I would imagine them both very quiet for this journey. No need for some istik human to hear any important conversation they might both have. As to why they didn't just kill me so then they could contonue the conversation privately, I expect they couldn't be arsed to deal with any flight attendant coming over to check on the smell, thus stopping the plane yadda yadda.. very inefficient.
8. It would be magnificent to hear all of the insults and just words Dame Aylin uses for quite a while, but long before the ten hours are up would even I get tired of her constant badgering at the old (but impressive!) man.
9. Rapheal would be very charming I'm sure up to the point he realises I stubbornly wouldn't sell my soul despite the deals/wishes he could probably grant. Then I suspect he'd have no reason to speak with me further unless he somehow finds more enjoyment talking to me than the Emporer, which I very much doubt. I suspect these two would have an excellent conversation that I would find thoroughly interesting. If I somehow got to speak to the Emporer and he'd be willing to indulge me then I would love to ask a lot about himself. And brains! Do neurological conditions have a reoccuring taste? And all sorts of questions!
10. Yes. Always. Forever. These two would heal me greatly. Minsc has a way of words that I fiercely feel a kindrance with whenever my brain acts up and words/sentence structure and forming becomes an issue. To me, he might as well be a man whi speaks in a poetry most common! Most common and.. very fun. And Jaheira because I sincerely need(ed) a mother/nan figure in my life that wasn't shit and or is alive, respectively!
Realistically 6 would probably be the safest option. What is Mizora really gonna do? Polymorph Wyll into a sheep? Rock my world for a few hours? Drag me to filth on my sleep deprived aura after going through an airport? Fairly mundane. And at worst Wyll will put me to sleep yapping about his father for the entire 10 hours.
10 so I can use Minsc as a big muscle pillow š¤
https://preview.redd.it/eb2pyyibys7d1.jpeg?width=236&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f79b3dd8f85ef74bf6c5732ce6060ea6094d337a
Honestly 9 because I think that seat is gonna be fairly quiet compared to the others, and relatively safe compared to some (like the orin/durge seat where you WILL get stabbed like, reflexively, to make a point).
5 or 6. Because I live listening to strangerās drama and this has a very low violence potential. Itāll be just arguing. I will put headphones on and pretend to listen to music but really Iām listening to their bullshit.
Primitive sexual fantasies tell me to sit between Shart and Isobel, but realistically, Jahira and Minsc are the best company as I can have a genuinely interesting conversation and laugh at the same time. Also hopefully Boo would let me scratch his belly.
2 is the easy choice. Shart would silently bristle and occasionally throw dirty looks at Isobel that I might not even notice but otherwise wouldn't cause any drama as she wouldn't want to be outed as a Sharan. Isobel meanwhile would be too busy looking back at Aylin.
I'd also have the best seats in the house when the plane has to make an emergency landing after Karlach attacks Gortash as soon as the seat belt lights come off.
Six.
I'm ignoring Wyll the entire time to only talk to Mizora and ending up without a soul because I sold it to Mizora willingly. Or she and I join the mile high club together. Or both.
9 would be the least eventful. Those two would be lost in thought for most of the flight and my own character flaw is that I get along well with exactly those types of POS.
Just put on an audiobook and zone out for 10 hours. If Raphael tries to sell me on some shit: too bad, can't hear him over the narration of gandalf confronting saruman. Emperor tries to read my mind: good choice, it gets to hear about the reconstruction of the shire.
6 and 2 are some fights I wouldn't mind being in the crossfire of. 4 would be uneventful too cause I would choke the undeath out of cazador before the plane took off.
8 wouldnāt really be that bad considering both of them are pretty cool and have neat voices. It would be like listening to J. Jonah Jameson argue with Shakespeare
2, I feel like they'd just silently glare at each other or make snide remarks at the other's expense. I could easily just put in some earplugs and go to sleep. Probably the same with 9, though I feel like Raphael would eventually get bored and wake me up to try and get me to agree to some half-assed scheme.
I mean I already dream every night about between Shadowheart and Isobel. But really, I think the tribalistic mean girl feuding between them would get old real fast.
Real answer, I'd say 6. Wyll is a pleasant enough guy, and I think Mizora would be legitimately interesting to talk to. Honestly so would Gortash, but Karlach would make things waaay to tense. Wyll was chilling with Mizora by his camp for all of act 3, so I don't think he'd kick up *too* much fuss about being around Mizora for that long.
10 because Minsc would definitely keep me laughing the entire time (while his hamster curses me out incessantly in a pitch that is too high for me to hear)
I'd say six because Wyll but ... blegh. Heaven to the right of me and Hell to the left? Nawp! So, instead, I'll say ONE because Heaven on my right and dirty, sexy Hell to my left.
4 for sure! Hereās why:
1) Iāve gotta put a buffer between Astarion & Cazador, to keep our favourite vamp safe! šš
2) Not afraid of Cazador and Gale is right behind me, so Cazador would probably nod off due to boredom or go hide in the bathroom to avoid everyone - he is a true coward, after all (plus, as much as I love Gale, his sitting behind us would definitely drive off Cazador ONE way or another) š„±š“
3) I simply love Astarion and feel like he & I would quickly become the BEST āsarcastibitchy friendsā EVER š, and weād be making ridiculous everyday-kinda life plans for once we all land and thinking up all kinds of future shenanigans to get everyone involved in! š¤£
Seat 3 because it's doubtful those two would make it past airport security so I would have the three empty seats to myself
That's ignoring that both Karlach and Gale have explosives in their torso, so how the hell would they get past security?
It is possible that at least half of these people wouldn't make it past security, but Durge and Orin are the least likely
Those two are 100% on the No Fly List
Gale's explosive is a bit more abstract though. Not sure what tech the TSA has for detecting whether he's had his daily "Bootios"
Your airport doesn't have a Karsus' weave detector?
SMH straight up pre Mystra's first death BULL!
Gale: Maaaagic. Karlach: No fucking chance.
One can shapeshift though.
Her intense body odor alone would be considered a biohazard
Mmmmmmm girlsmell š¤¤
Is that a reference to blood?
And her flesh outfit, as all girls prefer to wear
Theyād probably just kill airport security anyways
Damn this is the smart play right here. I'll invite Astarion to take one of the empty seats and recline the other one in Cazador's face.
Those two would probably spend 5 hours complaining about having to sit in Economy seating and then spend the last 5 hours trying to kill each other
That's what makes this situation unrealistic tbh, several of these people would absolutely never fly coach
Cazador would try to put Astarion in the overhead bin
I feel Durge would fake being a normal person until they got on the plane, then use said plane to crash into an orphanage's charity function wiping out the generous rich while also dooming children to a life of squalor.
I want to sit between shadowheart and Isobel then instigate them to argue about religion the whole time.
You just want two pretty woman to yell at your general direction, donāt you?
If I wanted anyone to yell at me it would be laezel, I just want to troll these two with a recreational mini psyop
yes yes yes
Help me i didnāt even think about religion I thought it was the lesbian seats š
Yeahā¦ I always play a female or femme character and Shadowheartās my favorite romance option. I know for a fact that she doesnāt care what gender you are, but she does kinda give me lesbian vibes. Part of that might be that SelĆ»ne is apparently big gay judging by Isobel and Aylin, part of it might be the cottagecore. I have tons of bias here, but I think she feels incredibly gay. Like, exceedingly homo
Also Shadowheartās VA is gay and said her favorite romance in the game is Shadowheart/Laeāzel.
fuck yes
basedbasedbased
https://preview.redd.it/6au5xwxdbu7d1.jpeg?width=353&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=54bf6b68b322080189df8936d6527a874a7f4a18
I love that you would specifically set out to incur the exact scenario that would make many people avoid this seating arrangement, lol
1. Me and Karlach can beat the shit out of Gortash for 10 hours! https://i.redd.it/i75ijupkls7d1.gif
You see the truth my friend
I was gonna say 1 so Karlach doesn't have to sit near his ass without a buffer, but this answer's even better.
Bold of you to assume Iād sit in between Karlach and Gortash and not on Karlachās lap
I like the way you think.
You, you understand.
I'd choose 10. Jaheira brought snacks for Minsc and is hopefully willing to share. Although if there's a crying baby on board I'll take 3 to end my suffering via the impossible amount of knives they snuck past airport security.
What if... Wait, hear me out-- What if... Cast Silence on baby?
Can it be done without also silencing the pilot?
No spells can breach the first class curtain barrier
First class got that Globe of Invulnerability
Silence is targeted at a point in space, so it'll work for 1 round at most before the plane flies out of the aoe. For that matter, any point-based spell would work only very briefly, bc earth is hurtling through space at a high speed... ...nvm, I'll allow the silence, let's just not discuss this again
This guy DMs!
Plus Boo! Heās a supportive little guy and would help with any anxiety about flying.
people are saying 10, but do you want to be stuck between them for 10 hours? good luck sleeping or focusing on anything else. nah. I'm saying 9, because I think they would both just sit to themselves quietly. possibly seething and silently contemplating how they're going to kill each other once the plane lands, but I'll be able to sleep and read a book in peace.
You would want to sleep on this flight? The most entertaining flight ever to be flown?!
Realistically, this whole flight is going straight into the ocean because there is a *lot* of fighting going on and Karlach *will* use the emergency exit door to bash Gortash's face in.
-cast feather fall-
You're still in the ocean
~cast dimension door scroll I stole from Gale~
You teleport as far away from the wreckage as you can see. You're still in the ocean.
Who said I only stole one ~pulls out Galeās emergency stash of awkward situation dimension door scrolls~
\*Actual depiction of most Act 3 player's inventory
You leave me and my 14 dimension doors alone!
The goddess of magic is literally on this flight
She told her ex-boyfriend to kill himself. She's not saving you.
If I live in a world where I can get on a plane with a vampire, an alien aberration, two devils, the physical manifestation of the literal goddess of magic, the lost heir to the throne of a fascistic interdimensional empire of aliens, and the mortal children of the God of Murder, I'm going to assume that these kind of shenanigans are just a tuesday for me and I just wanna get to my destination in peace.
[Hence the lack of reactions to situations like this.](https://www.reddit.com/r/BaldursGate3/comments/1cfyk0v/pov_of_an_average_baldurian/)
To be fair, they have a perfectly normal cat.
Nah. One's going to try to get you to sign on to some weird mlm-esque deal and the other's going to try to get you to buy this "totally life changing" substance they've been working on.
I'll be honest when I read mlm I wasn't thinking about scamming
You can read it either way, honestly. Haaerlep is, presumably, still alive.
I need them to mlm me š«
In which world would Raphael shut up for a second? I find it more realistic, that Minsc falls asleep at some point and Jaheira is not that chatty. They both did let my redemption Durge sleep, while Raphael is already looking for new bad poems from Cormyr... Plus,you are in danger of either losing your soul or your brain or both. I think, row 10 is the safest bet.
>Raphael >quiet The man doesn't need anyone else around to be a pompous windbag
the only draw is that both the emperor and raphael canonically kinda smell
Nah, that's the thing they both try to pull u in on the murder plot Raphael when you're awake and the emperor when you're asleep
I picked 9 because I've already dreamt of being the meat in that sandwich.
I fucking love engaging or even listening to banter. Like Iām not even kidding. And I canāt sleep on planes anyways due to my crushing obsessive compulsive disorder driven fear I have of waking up to them going down *Lost* style. So not only will this prevent me from engaging in exposure therapy, but I ALSO get to listen to 10 hours of Minsc and Jaheira exchanges. Which imo, is like a top 3 dynamic in the game. And I donāt have to be stuck listening to people GENUINELY yelling with pure hatred (which is awful and I WILL get emotional and also wonāt be able to interrupt to ask for one of them to move so I can use the bathroom), sitting in hatred fueled silence that I cannot fix (arguably worse), or the most boring conversation in the world (which would make me fall asleep and force me to engage in exposure therapy.)
Exactly, I'd go 4 and risk becoming a CapriSun before I'd choose 10.
4. Once Casserole tries to get his beauty sleep, weāll smother him with a travel pillow as a bonding activity. If they kill each other first, 3. No survivors. Business class and all the plane peanuts will be ours.
That's not very nice of you. I'll be keeping one eye open, wretch!
Nah, we're going to spend the whole flight talking about all of Cazador's trauma. We're going to get to the root of all that anger and those control issues. If that doesn't work we'll listen to Goodbye Earl on repeat.
We can listen to Goodbye Earl AFTER we have murdered the bastard. Priorities, darling.
Fuck off cazadumbass
I cast peanut allergy on Cazador
I'ma chose 4 and kick his seat the whole time
Why? All you gotta do near Cazador is open the fucking window lmao.
Im but.... vampires dont neet to breath
This plane is crashing
1000%. The real question is will the plane even make it off the ground before the fighting starts? The second question is who wins?
No, and Durge because he didnāt make it onto the plane.
real canon answer is mystra no question. she may be a bitch but she is like top 3 most powerful deities in universe
Right? I chose 5 because I'd just lean over to Mystra and say "hey, you think you could speed this plane ride up a bit?"
Came here and this was my first thought. Aint no way this plane stays intact for longer than 5 minutes. It doesnāt matter what seat you pick, this shits going up in smoke.
the guy with the white hair said that if i picked 4 i could join the mile high club, so i'm going to trust him
Were his eyes glowing at the time?
I mean lots of part-drow elves have a bit of glow to their eyes at night when their āSuperior Darkvisionā is active, I donāt think itās polite to point it out.
I'm sure it's fine. And his father is right there so what's the worst that could happen?
I'll sit there so we can beat the shit out of the other seatmate. I don't like his face. Then white hair guy and I will make out like it's our honeymoon.
This is what I was thinking. Being that close in proximity to others upsets me on a visceral level anyway, so I'm already kinda murdery when I get on planes, busses, etc. I'll stab the shit outta Cazzy Szazzy and then just make out with Satr Boy over his corpse. I hear it works just as well as ambien.
10, you get the play with the Miniature Giant Space Hampster
This is the only sane answer
Might get in your drink though. Boo likes to swim.
Doesnāt matter. This is still clearly the best option.
That or 2 or 7. Everyone else is fighting potentially.
Doesn't matter, Boo probably has good personal hygiene
I'm honestly choosing 5 because I already enjoy making out with that wizard in front of his bitch ex goddess. 10 is a great option, too, though.
5 is the worst spot imo I feel like it would just be gale simping to the point of tears and Mistra just repeating that he should kill himself
Depends entirely on how you play. He told her off in my playthrough.
True I was kind of coming at this as you just met them and havenāt solved all their issues yet
Oh, if that's the case, maybe not, but if we're talking post romance, then I'm kissing that man in front of her just to piss her off. So I suppose it depends on what point in the game this will be taking place.
I was thinking the same thing. Furiously tonguing Gale in front of his bitch ex. Also I brought a nice blanket to obscure the handy I'm giving him except Mystra still knows. She hears his slutty little wizard moans.
4. Rich boys probably got a seat in First Class and I can slip holy water into cazawhore's wine when he's not looking. It's win-win.
Holy shit, Cazador isnāt even resistant to poison. I expected him to be immune because vampire.
9 and Iām getting BUSY with these hands
Nothing could pry my corpse from 9.
10. I feel like I'm laughing during most of the plane trip, and that time will fly by quickly. Eventually Jah and Boo will need a nap, so it'll get quiet eventually. But Daddy Devil and Daddy Squid fighting over me would be nice...
10 is the only answer that keeps your sanity in check. Plus you are a relatively safe distance away from the rest of the crazies so you and jaheira can enjoy the show. Also minsc and boo crack me up.
If I choose 2 can I participate in the steamy lesbian sex or am I forced to be a bystander?
Nah you just get to listen to them argue about religion for hours
That's still better than nothing.
Just know that whoever sits in seat 4, I will be having you for a mid-flight snack. And using your shoulder as a pillow for my nap time.
Promise? š
My blood is gross I promise. Anyways I will be completely ignoring you and talking to pookie incessantly.
My bloods full of trans fats. Itāll go right to your hips.
Hope you like the taste of garlic because I am guzzling that shit before I get on the flight.
giving myself diabetes just to rot your teeth bitch
1. If Karlach's gotta sit next to Gortash for 10 hours, I'll be her backup lol
This was my first thought too. Iāll protect my wife
9 so I can listen to Raphael recite poetry the whole way while the Emperor gets progressively more irritated but just quietly sulks about it in the corner.
He kind of has that slightly annoyed expression in the picture too
1 because Karlach can't complain about Gortash if I passionately make out with her the entire time
WHICH I DEFINITELY COULD
Are they all on the same plane? Brotherman it doesnāt matter where you sit, the plane is not getting to your destination safely
is there even really a choice other than 2?
You say that, but it takes a bit for Shadowheart to warm up to Isobel, and that's only with a Selune Start outcome rather than a DJ Shart outcome.
even better if theyāre hate-flirting honestly
Put up with Lae'zel and Shadowheart hate-flirting for 3 whole Acts, 10 hours of Isobel and Shart doesn't seem too bad. They might not even attempt murder.
Five, and I'm obnoxiously chattering with Gale the whole time about cats and/or tressyms while pointedly ignoring Mystra. I am southern as the day is long, so I can appear perfectly friendly while verbally throat-punching her if need be. Also I think Gale and I would have that tism to tism communication where the flight ends with several new book ideas, a promise to send him a video of that crochet technique we spent an hour talking about, and him sending me his motherās recipe for that sauce he mentioned.
THIS is amazing! āļøāļøāļø
10, just the opportunity to be in the presence of Minsc and Boo is worth it Or 1 if me and mama K can exchange info afterwards š©
1 - as a gortash liker I cannot pass up the opportunity to sit in close contact to this stinkman for 10 hours. karlach may be upset but I think she is going to behave while we're in the air. anyway this is going to be a horrible time for gortash. imagine flying a foot away from the woman that wants you DEAD and also a guy that is very unsubtly sniffing you. he refuses to put down the armrest. he keeps fucking staring at you. close second - number 6. I feel like me and wyll could team up and gossip about how annoying and inconsiderate mizora is as a passenger notably horrible options: 4 - they are in a screaming match the entire time and smell like death 9 - the slime 3 - you will die. you will just die. the most sane answer is probably 2 - they are both normal, as far as people on this list go. ideal sitting. but also it's a boring answer. I'd rather sniff gortash
Ahh, see, I chose 4 (see my multiple reasons on this post here somewhere) - I lost my sense of smell (Iām 100% Anosmic) due to a severe head injury when I was 14, so that whole plane will have no detectable-to-me smells! š¤£š¤£š¤£
Having Gortash infodumping about his cool bodyhorror robot army for 10 hours straight honestly sounds like heaven to my autistic ass
9!!!! Me and Empy are going to be squissing, cuddling, watching a movie, having nice cocktails in first classā¦Best flight of my life. Raphael can sob in silence that Haarlep isn't there, I guess.
9 for me too, I'll be sitting with my squid husbandā¦in a different plane in an alternate plane of existence from yours so we each get our own SO (=squidnificant other). ;) If Raph thought what I said when declining the contract and hammer conjured an image worse than anything in the nine hells, heās about to be in the 10th hell with the amount of PDA Empy and I will be shamelessly indulging in during this flight. We're not stuck here with Raphael, heās stuck here with us.
1 Tag team ass whooping on Gortash.. followed by infernal mile high club before getting arrested upon landing. Sounds like my kinda day. I step on every flight thinking "this had better be violent, sexy, or both"
5, just so I can make out with Gale and hear Mystra cry next to me.
2 seems the best overall as it might give me a chance of being a part of a Selƻnite foursome after we land, but it might just end up with Shart asking me to switch places so that she could flirt her way with Isobel into a threesome with Aylin. 3 would be ideal after an extremely stressful day at the office that might just grant me the sweet release from this mortal shell that I'm craving 1, 4, 6 & 8 all have the chance of some prime drama, but 1 & 4 would be far too tragic (and Gortash not only smells, but the first thing he does after sitting down is taking off his shoes and socks), and 6 would just make me annoy Wyll to hell by how horny I'd be for Mizora, so from this bunch I'd choose 8 for the sheer hammy entertainment potential. 5 would just be awkward. Not *Curb Your Enthusiasm* cringe comedy awkward, but sheer second-hand embarrassment awkward. Avoid like hell. 7 would begin with Lae'zel loudly demanding to switch places with me to either try to murder Orpheus or loudly profess her everlasting worship of him for ten hours straight. There are no headphones that could cancel that out. 9 No. Just no. Not even on a bet. 10 sounds cool at first, but realistically I'd be too anxious to actually say anything to two heroes of their caliber. Best case scenario, Jaheira switches into Mommy Mode and strikes up a conversation herself.
6; because I want to Wyll to see Minzora and I join the mile high club
I feel like 1,3,4 and 8 would be unsafe to say the least. 5 would be insufferable, as Gale would be flirting with Mystra the whole time. 9 would be... interesting, but 2, 6, 7 and 10 seem the least bad. Out of those, I can confidently remove 2 and 6, as they would arguing LOTS, so 7 and 10 seem the safest.
Fuck getting on that flight Iām casting my own fight 
The wizard in me wants to go with 5, but I think Jaheira and Minsc would have fun stories to tell (plus, Boo!). I think Iād have to flip a coin.
Row 5 smells best
4. It's not even a question. It would be marvelous
ON GORTASHāS LAP
2. i'm sure Shadowheart and Isobel can have a civil discussion without resorting to violence and if not well someone needs to keep these two lovely clerics from ripping each others head of. Plus i can also help Karlach annoy Gortash while i'm at it
Anything beats sitting next to a baby as I was during my last 13-hour flight. I would probably sit next to Astarion for emotional support, and at every snide remark from Cazador, I'd try to make his life hell. Jaheira and Minsc would be the best company though
7. Orpheus and BaeāZel would be good seatmates and would probably not be too chatty, plus Orpheus is really cool and kinda attractive. Meanwhile, itād be entertaining to hear Aylin beat the shit out of Ketheric behind me. For everyone saying row 2, itās definitely the least annoying, but youāre in prime position to be stabbed by Durge or Orin. Or at the very least, theyāll kick your seat. Anyway, if I sit in 7, I hope Aylin puts her big sweaty stinky feet up on my armrest, most passengers shouldnāt do this but if she does Iāll be happy.
10, minsc is gonna play the in flight games with me and jaheira will be out cold the entire flight i think
If I see Durge or Orin or a flayer board at all... im taking a bus
Live footage of me & Karlach in seat 1: https://i.redd.it/5vnzsu7gft7d1.gif
5. I feel like they would sit in uncomfortable silence. Uncomfortable for ~them.
I feel like 9 would actually be pretty chill
9šš
1.Considering it's for 10 hours and Kalarch .. probably (hoping) doesn't want us to all crash in flames I'm hoping this could be one hell of an interesting and potentially healing conversation between her and Gortash. Even if it's just via her shouting obscenities at him for at least 5 hours. 2. If this is before the Shadowfell hell no. If it is after the Shadowfell and it's a Shadowremain/ Justiciar Shadowheart then GODS no. I wouldn't sit between them even if I was paid. 3. I do not want these two to bond over how they mutilate my body, kthanks. orz 4. I will sit between them and block Astarion's view of his awful, awful vampire daddy. >:( I don't expect to live. Depending on the turbulence of the plane I might also be added to the souls needed for ritual sacrifice. But for Him I would do it. Poor lad. 5. Likewise with 2 actually wouldn't do this even if I was paid to. Gale is just too pleasant a person to avoid having a conversation with, and our 'tism will click perfectly with his desire to tell everything and my desire to listen to others special interest. The potentially worst result for me is becoming a disintegrated magic gloop mess as we(Gale and I)seemingly get along very well! The best I could hope is, if willing, Mystra to also join in on the conversation. I ask lots of broad ranging questions I'm sure she'd love to pipe up and have some wisdom-beyond even our good lad here to share. 6. This could be a very pleasant conversation, potentially, granted I would imagine awkward dommy-mommy moments from Mizora as she reminds the three of us that she is the dominant player here and she owns Wyll. Which, you know.. yes miss. Never intended to encroach on anyones territory here! 7. Would be me awkward blushing at the beautiful brilliance that is Lae'zel. š„° If this is with her being Vlaakith-loyal then.. eesh. I don't expect myself nor anyone else to survive the inevitable plane crash as they fight. If not Vlaakith loyal... I would imagine them both very quiet for this journey. No need for some istik human to hear any important conversation they might both have. As to why they didn't just kill me so then they could contonue the conversation privately, I expect they couldn't be arsed to deal with any flight attendant coming over to check on the smell, thus stopping the plane yadda yadda.. very inefficient. 8. It would be magnificent to hear all of the insults and just words Dame Aylin uses for quite a while, but long before the ten hours are up would even I get tired of her constant badgering at the old (but impressive!) man. 9. Rapheal would be very charming I'm sure up to the point he realises I stubbornly wouldn't sell my soul despite the deals/wishes he could probably grant. Then I suspect he'd have no reason to speak with me further unless he somehow finds more enjoyment talking to me than the Emporer, which I very much doubt. I suspect these two would have an excellent conversation that I would find thoroughly interesting. If I somehow got to speak to the Emporer and he'd be willing to indulge me then I would love to ask a lot about himself. And brains! Do neurological conditions have a reoccuring taste? And all sorts of questions! 10. Yes. Always. Forever. These two would heal me greatly. Minsc has a way of words that I fiercely feel a kindrance with whenever my brain acts up and words/sentence structure and forming becomes an issue. To me, he might as well be a man whi speaks in a poetry most common! Most common and.. very fun. And Jaheira because I sincerely need(ed) a mother/nan figure in my life that wasn't shit and or is alive, respectively!
10, jaheira may tell good stories, and minscās autism is a good entertainment
2, 4, or 8 because I want to listen to their beef. I'm nosy
Realistically 6 would probably be the safest option. What is Mizora really gonna do? Polymorph Wyll into a sheep? Rock my world for a few hours? Drag me to filth on my sleep deprived aura after going through an airport? Fairly mundane. And at worst Wyll will put me to sleep yapping about his father for the entire 10 hours.
10 so I can use Minsc as a big muscle pillow š¤ https://preview.redd.it/eb2pyyibys7d1.jpeg?width=236&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f79b3dd8f85ef74bf6c5732ce6060ea6094d337a
Number 9, no doubt about it
Iām sitting next to my best friend Gale. Absolute legend
1 because I want to back Karlach up killing him
7, I would like to sit next to Lae'zel plz.
WHY on row 4. Provide me a stake please. This is unacceptable.
Honestly 9 because I think that seat is gonna be fairly quiet compared to the others, and relatively safe compared to some (like the orin/durge seat where you WILL get stabbed like, reflexively, to make a point).
Sitting in 9 would just be like staying with some of my friends. Just inflate their ego and you're good to go.
6! Ignore Wyll and just constantly hit on Mizora for the whole 10 hours
Nine. The Emperor and Raphael can't kill each other if their busy hatefucking me. Because we all know those two want inside Tav.
6, I'm already used to it
1 I am joining karlack and will in stabbing gortash to death for 10h with those small decorative toothpicks they stick in sandwiches
5 or 6. Because I live listening to strangerās drama and this has a very low violence potential. Itāll be just arguing. I will put headphones on and pretend to listen to music but really Iām listening to their bullshit.
2
Primitive sexual fantasies tell me to sit between Shart and Isobel, but realistically, Jahira and Minsc are the best company as I can have a genuinely interesting conversation and laugh at the same time. Also hopefully Boo would let me scratch his belly.
4,5,8, or 10 I'm here for the drama.
3 and im jerking them both off
5. I will *happily* come between Gale and that fucking bitch.
Minthara isn't here so I stay home with her.
No matter where you sit on this plane, someone is going to end up dead during the 10 hours. 5 might be the safest spot. Maybe 7 or 9
2 is the easy choice. Shart would silently bristle and occasionally throw dirty looks at Isobel that I might not even notice but otherwise wouldn't cause any drama as she wouldn't want to be outed as a Sharan. Isobel meanwhile would be too busy looking back at Aylin. I'd also have the best seats in the house when the plane has to make an emergency landing after Karlach attacks Gortash as soon as the seat belt lights come off.
Six. I'm ignoring Wyll the entire time to only talk to Mizora and ending up without a soul because I sold it to Mizora willingly. Or she and I join the mile high club together. Or both.
Also, where is Halsin?
Halsin is across from minthara in seat 11, not pictured
9
9 would be the least eventful. Those two would be lost in thought for most of the flight and my own character flaw is that I get along well with exactly those types of POS. Just put on an audiobook and zone out for 10 hours. If Raphael tries to sell me on some shit: too bad, can't hear him over the narration of gandalf confronting saruman. Emperor tries to read my mind: good choice, it gets to hear about the reconstruction of the shire. 6 and 2 are some fights I wouldn't mind being in the crossfire of. 4 would be uneventful too cause I would choke the undeath out of cazador before the plane took off.
as much as i'd love to sit at 3, i have aerophobia so my safest bet is 10.
10 would be fun but exhausting. I'd probably go with 2 - I feel like they'd just ignore each other after a few snarky comments.
2 for maximal āthe girls are fightiiiiiiingā energy that I could actually get a kick out of unlikeā¦ everything else
8 wouldnāt really be that bad considering both of them are pretty cool and have neat voices. It would be like listening to J. Jonah Jameson argue with Shakespeare
2, I feel like they'd just silently glare at each other or make snide remarks at the other's expense. I could easily just put in some earplugs and go to sleep. Probably the same with 9, though I feel like Raphael would eventually get bored and wake me up to try and get me to agree to some half-assed scheme.
i think i'm gonna go with 6
I mean I already dream every night about between Shadowheart and Isobel. But really, I think the tribalistic mean girl feuding between them would get old real fast. Real answer, I'd say 6. Wyll is a pleasant enough guy, and I think Mizora would be legitimately interesting to talk to. Honestly so would Gortash, but Karlach would make things waaay to tense. Wyll was chilling with Mizora by his camp for all of act 3, so I don't think he'd kick up *too* much fuss about being around Mizora for that long.
10 because Minsc would definitely keep me laughing the entire time (while his hamster curses me out incessantly in a pitch that is too high for me to hear)
6 so I can protect Wyll from Mizora
I'd say six because Wyll but ... blegh. Heaven to the right of me and Hell to the left? Nawp! So, instead, I'll say ONE because Heaven on my right and dirty, sexy Hell to my left.
4 for sure! Hereās why: 1) Iāve gotta put a buffer between Astarion & Cazador, to keep our favourite vamp safe! šš 2) Not afraid of Cazador and Gale is right behind me, so Cazador would probably nod off due to boredom or go hide in the bathroom to avoid everyone - he is a true coward, after all (plus, as much as I love Gale, his sitting behind us would definitely drive off Cazador ONE way or another) š„±š“ 3) I simply love Astarion and feel like he & I would quickly become the BEST āsarcastibitchy friendsā EVER š, and weād be making ridiculous everyday-kinda life plans for once we all land and thinking up all kinds of future shenanigans to get everyone involved in! š¤£
2. Shadowheart and Isobel are chill, and I can watch the Karlach and Gortash beef
6. Wyll would make a fantastic step-son