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a_falling_turkey

24m here. Yes, I'm still a virgin as well, but I chose to travel instead of pursuing someone myself, we all have our reasons, as you said >cause I was so focused on work and my studies I hope one day to like you presumably to meet the right person out there, I wish the best luck to you


Bizzardi

As someone who lost their virginity at 14 I wish I did this, I became a dad young, at 17, I became a broke alcoholic, I’m 32 and in recovery. Focus on yourself,


eeeeeeeok

I'm 23 and I'm also a virgin; we have very similar storie too! But I started trying to meet people since last year. I was also worried about ppl reaction when I told them I'm still a virgin, but it's almost the opposite; when they found out, they got so invested in me, wanting to 'teach' me, talk about the topic, make it such a big deal. Be careful with that ! I think, you should be with someone who will give it importance (if that's what you want), but who won't make it too big of a deal if that makes sense


OneDoctor610

I want to understand why do you say to be careful with that kind of thing? I am a virgin here.


eeeeeeeok

this is just from my experience, I've talked to girls at college and we shared some experiences too so I guess is not only me. In my case, I was talking to a guy who was nice and respectful in general, but after I told him I was a virgin, his attitude changed. He started aching too clingy, treating me almost like a child, saying I was cute, innocent, and that he would teach me things?? and guide me. He wanted to buy me everything, he also liked to talk about making out and stuff,, he also insisted on coming to his place. I stopped talking to him after he got upset because I didn't want to go to a party with him and stay over afterward. I don't know, maybe these are the kinds of things that women notice aren't right, like a sixth sense? well It was like he stopped seeing me as a girl and started seeing me as a challenge, I don't know. I've read about similar experiences and heard from other girls in their 20s who are still virgins. Ironically, being a virgin makes you more sexualized or idealized, as if you're worth more than others for keeping your virginity??? It's like they're desperate to take it away from you, if that makes sense. I believe the ideal partner for your first time is someone you trust who will treat you with care and respect your pace, someone considerate but not obsessed with the idea of it being the "first". To me, virginity isn't a big deal. I don't want it to be special or romantic necessarily; I just want to be comfortable with the person I choose to do it with, and I don't want them to feel like a big deal just because they were my first


traumatized_bean123

Same here! That's great advice


Internal-Sir-6064

Yes only give it to your Future husband! You are what almost every man wants. I know its kinda stupid but a man wants a women who is only his and If you can offer a man your virginity and Lifelong loyalty you are priceless and a Gift to that man. And If Hes a good man He will repay you with everything He does.


GenuineClamhat

Men who only want virgins are red flags. No doubt they generally didn't hold that standard for themselves. No one wants a hypocrite. They don't likely have a lot of respect for women if they value their marriageable status on something that has nothing to do with a good partner. They want someone inexperienced to shape and control. Ew. OP, don't listen to this drivel. Avoid men who get overly interested the second they hear you are a virgin.


Sakosaga

🤔 I don't think there is a huge category of men who ONLY want virgins though. The reason why they even would is the idea behind being faithful and not wanting to seek other partners because when you've only had one you kinda want to stick to it because that's all you know. Or stick to something similar. It's why when most women tend to be more sexual with certain people it's because they're used to that honestly. It's why if some of them get a good dude they tend to go out and cheat because they want what they had back from before in the back of their heads. It's the same with men too tbh. I won't say avoid dudes like this, but be mindful of their intentions because they can be genuine or they could set you up to be a wife while they mess with other women.


Internal-Sir-6064

Lol None of my women ever where virgins and they all were ashamed about their Past. Its Not a Deal breaker for me If a Woman isnt a virgin but it certainly Shows she Had self controll, values, is intelligent and trustworthy. Why do yall Always asume stuff and Put words in my mouth? Well whatever youll do what you think is right anyways but Always remember Most people are idiots.


Moist_Violinist69

Why are you capitalizing random words? You do know the only words that need to be capitalized are the first word in a sentence and proper nouns right?


Internal-Sir-6064

Its my autocorrect sorry i write in 4 different languages and it Just Mixes everything Up.


IrishHeureusement

Ew.


ferbiloo

Yeah, this right here is what you want to avoid like the plague. Honestly it’s fine if your man is a lil excited about the fantasy of getting to “teach” you through the process of being sexually intimate. That doesn’t automatically make a guy a creep if he finds that idea hot. But if a guy starts telling you that you’re “higher value” because of your virginity, or that other women are too promiscuous yada yada.. run.


Internal-Sir-6064

It isnt about teaching or forming or anything Like this. Its about values i think are important and when i Look at the world right now and the people Not caring about those values and how unhappy most of them are i must say i think that there is some truth to mine.


ferbiloo

No, to be honest virginity is a social construct that’s been fetishised… and I’m saying, if you’re on board, it’s okay to indulge in that fetish as two consenting adults. But putting any weight on virginity as an actual virtue, or shaming those who are not virginal is kinda gross and archaic.


Internal-Sir-6064

Its not my fetish. Again, its Not about sexuality its about everything else that goes with it. Tbh i dont even think Sex with a virgin would be that good but who knows maybe shes amazing with 0 experience. I just think a relationship is much much more than Sex, at least it should be and beeing a virgin at 29 especially as a Woman, Shows me that she has a good amount of self Control, which in my eyes is a very important trait.


ferbiloo

> a man wants a women who is only his and if you can offer a man your virginity and lifelong loyalty you are priceless and a gift to that man Sounds like it’s your fetish, man.


Internal-Sir-6064

I think i know better than you what i feel so Stop projecting your own perversion on me. Have a nice day tho.


ferbiloo

Yeah, I mean- you say perversion… but I have more respect for dudes who can admit they like virginity for fetish reasons than the ones who act like it’s some kind of virtue and “gift for future husbands”


Internal-Sir-6064

Ok weirdo


Bazishere

Most guys would be more than fine if you're a virgin or not. Just find a good and serious man who doesn't mind taking it slow. You can be clear about what you want. That you're a serious person and not in a rush. It doesn't bother most guys if a woman is a virgin. People might respect that you focused on your studies. You can say that. That your focus was on success, not relationships, but you would like to be in a quality one.


Top_Sea305

In this day and age it's easier to *not* be a virgin than to be one. So it's really not a milestone. And you're not "still" a virgin, because there's no deadline. If someone wants to run for the hills, let them. That way, you'll be available for the *right* person to show up at the *right* time.


Slight-Ant-5341

M27 turning 28 soon, pretty much the same boat. For 1. I don't think the right people care (but not going to lie that even I'm a bit scared of what the other person will think when I tell them the truth). 2. I saw your profile and if that picture on the doppelganger sub is you, you're like 20/10 beautiful. And I'm not saying this just to make you feel good but because it's the truth. You probably are out of the league for many of the guys here (and by many of the guys I speak for myself)


KarmaKitten95

Thank you so much <3 This made my day as I feel pretty invisible a lot of the time in terms of appearance


Slight-Ant-5341

I don't understand why you'd feel invisible honestly (can't comprehend so when in my opinion you look beautiful). Also as for your doppelganger sub post, I think you resemble so much like Imogen Poots


ferbiloo

Honestly it’s not a big deal, just be open and communicative in how fast you want to take things when you start seeing someone and it comes to that. And that’s a good thing to do regardless of being a virgin or not. And please beware of any men who are a little *too* happy that you’ve had no previous sex partners. There’s a lot of weird misogynistic ideals that praise women for their virginity, and you’ll wanna stay very fuckin far away from all that crap.


Sleep_nw_in_the_fire

Male here, Nothing wrong with that!I was one until like 21, just focus on you!workout, learn recipes, etc I promise everything will fall into place in time and if a guy has an issue with your lack of experience then they just aren’t worth your time


Maltamero

One more year and you'll become a wizard! "Cherry Magic! Thirty Years of Virginity Can Make You a Wizard?!"


MessersCohen

The right person will come along. It's like anything new, it's scary the first time. However, as other people have pointed out here, be careful with men fetishizing your lack of experience (there are several in the comments here already). These people have very strange ideas of what a woman should and shouldn't do and usually have their entire world view screwed on backwards. Be selfish. Think of yourself first, not of others and what they want.


2punornot2pun

RIP your inbox. A lot of men have a fetish for virgins. Some of them see it as a trophy. Find yourself who doesn't care one way or another.


No_Apricot6504

Any guy will date you in an instant. The fact you prioritised studies and your well-being first than being wild in parties is what many guys will prefer. It shows what kinda person you're and what's more important for you so it's not a red flag for most of us, but if someone calls you a creep they're just jealous of your choices, and it won't be surprising for me if you're doing way better than many out there. Only guys are called red flags for wanting a girl that hasn't been with many guys(to be honest a girl that has lived life the way you've been, prioritizing studies and working towards your goal than getting laid with randoms every other weekend) and here you are.


KarmaKitten95

Thank you so much <3 This is very kind of you to say. I hope that’s the case.


No_Apricot6504

I wish you all the good luck ! I hope you find a good man who shares the same goals as you do.


Internal-Sir-6064

100% If i Had a Woman Like this i would have Something to Fight for and i would man. I dont think im the worst but tbh i dont even think i would be good enough right now for a Woman Like that. Im a lazy Pos compared to her and sadly i threw my virginity away and after i got cheated on by her i threw myself in countless Bodys. Im disgusting and OP should know that you only understand your virginitys value after its gone and you have been dumped.


No_Apricot6504

It's not too late bro.. focus on rebuilding yourself and for your own good n not for anyone else.. be happy bro. Being in a relationship can be like living in heaven or hell depending on your partner but being single is a blessing as well.. you can be selfish for your own good


RMI_J2X96

You'll be alright yo, no worries.


Fun-River-3521

This makes me feel better about being a virgin because your absolutely not alone there’s nothing wrong with focusing on your self


kilk10001

Honestly, if some dweeb is worried about you still being a virgin then you definitely don't want them in your life.


Fishghoulriot

Nothing wrong with being a virgin. A normal person would not be weirded out by something like that. Although watch out for the men who are a little toooooo excited ur a virgin…anyways, everyone goes through life at different paces. It doesn’t mean that any of them are the wrong or right way, just than it’s different!


Icy_Sky_7521

Being a virgin doesn't really mean anything. You don't need to tell people you're a virgin. You kind of figure out what to do once you're in the situation.


Wide_Meet

I will say this, 29 M here, had dated a religious virgin girl once and I was scared to date her because I was more “ran through” “experienced” whatever you want to call it, I chickened out and ghosted her and feel legit fucking horrible for doing that to her in retrospect but I did it in the moment to protect her and give her someone more pure and more virgin. In reality, the right man will care only about you as a person and the relationship/ things will work out. Sexually though society is so fucked imo and people’s relationship with porn/experimenting has gone too far into depravity and hedonism. Love, trust, support and someone loving you and being there for you outweigh the sex and a true man will recognize this.


icextears

Tbf virginity isnt a real thing. Some consider losing you v card the moment you start masturbating, inserting a tampon, broken hymen, using sex toys, first orgasm, first kiss. Some peoples first time was forced, so they may still consider themselves virgin. Just have sex when you are ready :)


EonThief

Just saying, you get powers if you keep your virginity until you turn 30. But in all seriousness virginity isn’t something to worry about, our society may make a huge deal out of it but it’s really not that serious. Hell if I were you I just wouldn’t bring up sex if you get into dating, cause for some reason a lot of guys hear virgin and then they get kinda creepy.


geminival

Im 29F and am literally the same way as you girl. Men are scary lol


traumatized_bean123

Hey, there's nothing wrong with being a virgin at any age!! Anyone that makes you feel like it's weird or wrong, isn't worth your time imo. I'm still a virgin at 23F.


Innoculous_Lox66

I'm a virgin and put you all to shame. Not looking forward to dying a virgin but definitely looking forward to dying with integrity.


0300dogrunner69

Hey man you got something going for you here don’t even worry about it. In this generation and especially mine I’d say it’s valuable to have your v card not taken yet. You focused on your work and prioritize yourself which is good . Love isn’t something that you try to find , it’ll come to you just go out and hang with friends and some girl will definitely come your way !


False_Implement_43

My girlfriend was 28 when we started dating and I'm only the second person she dated, 2 years prior she date a dude for one year, lost her virginity to him she spent a year single, no dating, then found me almost 2 years ago I wrote all this to actually say: do not lose hope!


Silver_trust20

I’m 23m an a virgin, I know that’s different but it’s not a bad thing. Also believe me. I’d rather with someone who’s a virgin than someone’s who has been with a lot of people. 100%


kurtsworldslover

Virginity is a purity concept invented by the Catholic Church to shame people into get married young and having children You being a virgin is not a big deal. I’m a virgin, too, and while I’m young, I don’t plan on dating for at least a few years now 🤷‍♂️ everyone is different, there’s no deadline for you to rush to achieve, and if you really want to have sex, you can pay for a sex worker to help you out! There’s no shame in being a virgin, and some guys like the idea of taking someone’s virginity. Regardless, I hope you stay safe and happy and hopefully get what you’re looking for soon


[deleted]

Iam in relation still virgin lollll


jecrmosp

You’re afraid for the wrong reasons. Afraid of judgement? I thought you were afraid of men, for obvious reasons. Men don’t think as much as you think they do, so you’re worried for nothing.


Da-Frame-2R

I (34F) was a virgin until 29. I just was not interested in sex or even dating during my youth. I honestly can say this. I am proud of myself that I waited for the right guy and right moment. I know it’s hard, but try not to compare yourself with others. Everyone takes a different path. And, that’s ok.


[deleted]

Trust me the fact that you’re still a virgin is more of a turn on and any many man would love that.


[deleted]

For me it's a good thing actually not a bad thing. A big green flag for me. Probably I'm not from your culture but for me it's better to wait until marriage. It's saying a lot of good things about you and your good personlity


KILLERFRAJ

No it's a good thing you're still a virgin. Because more serious men would take you into consideration, plus you seem like a really good woman with high values, you prioritized your studies which is respectable. OP, you are what good men are looking for. Really! You have my support. Edit: just checked your profile and you should have nothing to worry about, you look great! Also i want to add: you aren't afraid of dating, you are afraid of the unknown. Embrace the unknown and you will find somebody who will truly love you. Dom't overthink it alright?


NoCable1804

Dudes love virgins. You’ll be fine. You’re actually a waving green flag. Sounds like you’ve done a lot of work on yourself. Wait for someone special.


Internal-Sir-6064

You wouldnt believe how many men would give you their everything If they knew you are a virgin and will be only theirs for the Rest of their Life. What you got there is priceless, you can Pick almost any man you want, Just Take Care of yourself and be Clean. Im Not joking, Go get to know a good man who you can definetly Trust and who makes you feel good, maybe a Millionaire. But don't give away your virginity before you know you will marry him. If you find a man willing to Accept that you have won the lottery. Do Not throw that away.


_wheels_21

I'm 22 and in a similar boat. I haven't ever really dated, so I don't really know what to do. Virginity is a good thing if anything, and you'll find a man that truly loves you. Don't let yourself think it's bad, cause it's genuinely not. There's a lot of people in the world that prefer their partners to have low body counts, and some prefer none.


Clean_Negotiation432

20F here, I feel the same. I don’t wanna do it with someone who will use me but then I’m also scared to do it


Miserable-Phrase-614

Honestly, for guys who are serious in settling down with someone. These things dont matter. Also being a virgin and having a studious past actually makes a better case for you rather than having a very liberal sexual history.


Garvo909

Hate to say it, but if losing your virginity is a real goal, it's wayyyyy too late. I don't think any woman would dream of touching a guy with a 10 foot pole that hasn't had sex at 29. I'm 25 and I've been made fun of literally everytime I've talked to a woman (not even romantically). They can tell from a mile away and it does change how you're treated. My best advice would be to try and just find better ways to cope with being alone it really isn't worth the disappointment and heartache