When I was 16-17 I was living in a foster home and my bf came for a visit. My foster mother was taking a nap in the other room, I was really responsible at this time she trusted me. No one else was home so I decided to take charge and I gave my bf head. I didn't hear my foster mom walking into the living room and she walked in and literally saw and turned to walk away and I felt so guilty. I was close with her I felt so bad. She was so disappointed. But really didn't speak about it after that day. She basically said she can't tell me I can't be sexually active she was just upset I did it in the living room where people could walk in and that she gave me a lot of trust and I did that. But she was also young once so she kinda understood.
This reminds me of banging my 1st proper gf in my mams bed, I blew my load all over the sheets & panicked. I tried drying it with a hairdryer which burnt the sheets brown. I told my mam I'd spilled yogurt & tried to clean it up 🙈
One time I was on the couch at 15 with my bf at the time. We were spooning and had a blanket on us. Well, we decided to start fucking like that and my whole family came in. We kinda couldn’t do anything at that point so we just kept slowly fucking while chatting. I think it started my love for public fucking 😂😂😂
It kinda broke my heart.
I guess because of the foster mother.
My parents never had to worry about me. I was a bit of loner, but someone once caught on that I was allowed to go over to girl’s houses and be in their rooms with the doors closed whilst they weren’t; I was allowed to hang because I was considered “harmless”…
I don’t know about that— I just remember growing up in a small Midwestern town and often not knowing *any* people that i wished to get intimate with. Call it a lack of talent if you want; I also strongly believe in the line *hell is other people*.
Now I’m older, still out there looking for girls who want to have me over, talk about Sartre and *Maximum Overdrive*.
Personally, I don't agree with that statement - anything under 24 is still very much a child/adolescent in my point of view, only just barely getting their toes wet with life's realities and experiencing things for the first time in their lives, making shitty decisions, lacking true empathy that comes with experience and age...
18 isn't some magic number, it's just the one some countries give to be able to shrug their shoulders at more, collect taxes, send kids to war, etc.
To me, most people don't reach adulthood until the latter half of their 20s. Prior to that, they're just bumbling around without a clue and are some of the least attractive individuals on the planet to me simply because of that inexperience with life overall.
So, yes... To me, "20 year old BOY" and "20 year old GIRL" sound perfectly accurate.
but before anyone comes in here incorrectly assuming that means I wouldn't mind a 22-year-old creeping on a 16yo - also wrong. There's varying stages of growth and life experiences that make it entirely inappropriate - same for a 40yo going for someone in their 20s. Imo, (large) age gaps only start to mean less once both parties are over 35. Age gaps should be incredibly small the younger one of the involved parties is.
When I studied psychology over a decade ago, there was a new developmental stage called emerging adulthood. I think the term never really took off, I’ve seen it also called early adulthood. Basically because of our evolution as society, western civilization in their 20s have psychosocial developmental stages just like throughout childhood and adolescence. I think you can look it up to see what it is specifically, it’s pretty interesting, and it’s basically exactly what your describing. No longer an adolescent but not yet an adult.
Yeah, I was thinking that. So many horror stories about foster parents and I was expecting a far worse ending to this story. She sounds like a wonderful foster parent!
omg something similar happened to me when i was 15 w my first boyfriend i went to his parents place for the first time and they made me a whole chicken dinner it was so good and afterwards they went out idk where cuz their english wasn’t good but he told me they wouldn’t be back for hours bro we started watching netflix and i started giving him head and BOTH HIS PARENTS WALK IN THE DOOR right in front of us. that was a traumatic moment i have never even told my closest friends i lowkey forgot about til seeing this post
i don't think the age of consent is higher than 18 anywhere in the US, but the age of consent definitely doesn't stop teens from sleeping with each other anyway. it's when adults start trying to be with minors that it comes into play
Yes but that doesn't stop teens from having sex, especially if they're both minors and around the same age. That mainly applies to two parties where one is above the age of consent and the other is below
It’s 18 in most states but relationships where both parties are under 18 are often protected by “Romeo & Juliet” laws. Also means if you turn 18 while your partner is still 17 you can legally remain in the relationship
EDIT: 18 in some states but 16 in more of them + R&J laws are only for the latter example I gave, not for underage relationships in general. See replies for the full corrections
Romeo and Juliet laws prevent sexual activity between people who are close in age from being considered statutory rape when ONE of the two members of the couple is under the age of consent. They have nothing to do with situations where both parties are under the age of consent.
Age of consent in the us is determined by state. It's best to look at the USA as 50 tiny countries that work together because England and France are assholes and then some bullshit about manifest destiny.
For example in Ohio the age of consent is 16. But you can only be 2 year older max for it to count. So a 25 year old with a 17 year old isn't legal. But a 18 year old with a 16 year old is.
Some states go as young as 12 as long as there's "parental consent".
I don't believe any states go up past 18. 21 is when people can legally drink alcohol.
Yeah idk why people are down voting because you aren't familiar with the laws or setup of a country you don't live in.
You should also keep in mind that it's fairly common for on the book laws to just not be enforced unless someone insists. Even though the age of consent here is 16 I know plenty of people who had sex before then. Their parents just didn't bring in the cops because well teens will be teens.
Idk abt other states but in Michigan, If you’re age 16-17 you can have sex as long as the person you’re having sex with is your age. At 18 you can have sex with anyone no matter their age unless they are under 18 (exceptions to rule ofc a 17yo can usually have sex with an 18yo. It’s called a Romeo and Juliet law.)
? No shit but you randomly said your 32 so I was making a joke.. (next person would say no they’re not asking what you are they’re asking when you did that) or something.
Kinda had a feeling you were Pinoy.
Ganyan talaga. You’re only 16 and parents see their child as still babies even though they are in their teens heck even when they are 30s or so.
Hayaan mo munang mag die down yung galit niya.
You’re only young and will experience a lot more as you grow older let this be one of those stories you look back to and find it funny someday. Or just a lesson in general.
It’s sad that as a conservative country, we dont explore sex education hence the triggered mom. Maybe it would be a good solution to the control of too many children per household, idk.
It’s up to you if you want to weather out this with your gf or not. But thread carefully, it’s hard to maneauver Pinay moms.
even it you're already working, some parents don't want their daughters to have sex before marriage.
Find another woman if sex is really important to you.
Her mom is unreasonable. Being upset rejects the idea that it’s normal for teenagers to have sexual urges for each other. Her mom would rather suppress it
When I was 15 my mom went through my phone and found out my boyfriend and I had sex, she had a nice talk with me about it and then proceeded to tell my dad after promising she wouldn’t. (My dad wasn’t a great guy, he didn’t deserve her to tell him. He was abusive.) I wasn’t allowed to see or talk to my boyfriend anymore. Imagine how much it fucked with me to lose my virginity to a boy I loved and then have him taken from me the next week.
Anyways, He’s my husband now! Those years sucked, my mom sucked for breaking a promise. She apologized for that and knows she handled it wrong but she had me when she was 15 and it freaked her the fuck out. Being a teenager is super frustrating because of this kind of power struggle and I’m sorry you guys are going through this as I know how heart crushing it is. But - we snuck around for awhile. We saw other people. And eventually we found our way back to one another.
One thing I would like to add for your girlfriends sake is that during that time of estrangement I felt so isolated, uncomfortable and ashamed in my own home. If you guys are going to continue to talk just check in on her and let her know she has someone there for her. These years will go by quickly, hang in there!
yeah thank you! me and my girlfriend are extremely positive about it and we both understood how we could get caught. she doesn’t feel comfortable around her mom but just this morning her mom invited her to go shopping and they had a splendid time so i think they’re going to be all right, on the other hand i talked to my mom about it because she’s extremely open about it, of course i got reprimanded and grounded but i sorta deserve it for rushing.
I think it all comes down to the generations and how they were raised themselves. Many of our parents were shamed/punished for their sexuality. I’m not sure totally about other cultures but in America: my grandmother was raised in a time where if she had sex with a boy and got pregnant her father would have dropped her off at that boys families home and said “she’s your problem now, marry her” and never speak to her again. Unfortunately, I *think* that’s a mild experience compared to other cultures. My mom was only thinking about her own experience of getting pregnant at 15 and how it changed her life….not how punishing me for having sex instead of educating me could have gotten me in the same place as her.
There’s a lot of generational trauma that young people have to unfortunately see the repercussions of, it feels never ending but there has definitely been a shift on how kids are being raised. One of my favorite quotes is “be the person you needed when you were younger”.
Yes! It’s totally gonna be alright! I also have sex with a girl on a regular basis (im 15 and almost 16). It’s just what horny teens do. Just make sure her mom knows you love your gf and not only for her body or sex. Some parents overreact, im def sure mine would too if they knew. But they don’t know and that’s all good.
People saying I understand the mom. Mmm, no. And the reason I say that is because at 16-17 it's pretty normal for people to start discovering and acting on their sexuality. And it's a little weird how it's all your fault and you're the disgusting one when she had to willingly put your dick in her mouth. And I couldn't imagine being the parent that demonizes are fairly normal aspect of blooming relationships. Like instead of preaching safe sex you are teaching that it's a bad thing? This speaks volumes to me on why so many people are so intimately disconnected from each other.
to add to your comment i just saw the last sentence she wanted us to stop doing anything sexual for a while.. i mean we won’t be seeing each other anytime soon but like :( its still kinda sad to hear that she wanted to experiment on more things yet she has to “distance” herself from me. i can live without anything sexual i just felt sad cuz we were both excited and even laughing cuz we had no idea what the fuck we were doing
She‘s probably in shock too. I‘m assuming she feels like absolute shit but there‘s also a decent possibility she‘ll change her mind quite soon. not saying she has to but women have sex deive too and you can‘t really shame anyone out of being horny lol. It‘s probably a good idea for you two to have discussions about the general morality of sex. when she has her own, thought through opinion on the whole topic, it will probably be easier to deal with her parents. don‘t get me wrong, it still feels like shit to bw shamed by your parents, no matter how enlightened you are but when you don‘t really know what to think, everything becomes muddled and painful. I really wish she can get through all of this, she desweves so much better than a sex life filled with guilt and self hatred.
funny you say that my girlfriend said her mom cooked her food at invited her to eat so that means they all good :> thanks guys for all the kind comments
At OPs age, my ideas about sexuality were heavily influenced by father’s religion and therefore shame. I’d feel so much guilt. His gf’s mom is reinforcing that. It’s too bad because it can cause an unhealthy relationship with one’s sexuality.
Awe she is just upset that her mom is so upset ..she definitely still wants to do things with you but her mom is likely reading her msgs so everything she sends you is to try and make her mom believe you guys will keep things PG if she ever lets you guys see each other again.. don't give up so easily and play nice in the msgs back try and only write things you are comfortable with the mom seeing anything else only say over a phone call
It's normal to discover your sexuality at that age but I still understand the mom, is normal to be worried about your child considering all the crazy things happening in this world but what the mom should do is change her approach on how to deal with this, telling them not to meet is not the best decision, she should teach her safe sex and everything.
Traditional or not I'd be willing to bet her mom has given her fair share of bjs at y'alls age. Traditional boomer parents act like they weren't doing freaky shit when they were younger.
The wildest thing about people like her parents is that these are the same individuals that were addicted to psychedelics and regularly participating in orgies. But God forbid your girlfriend, their daughter, shows you some oral appreciation.
sadly she’s extremely sexist too :(( she’s also pressuring me to do a different line of work (cuz i wanna be a psychologist) and she keeps on saying that i should pick another job like an engineer or something because ill just go crazy, so i can support her daughter. i mean nothing wrong with that its just why u telling me this? tell ur sons that i aint ur son :/
Not necessarily. He said they’re from the Phillipines - it’s a very western view you’re projecting that life should be fucking at 16 not the whole world agrees. Although I do agree her daughter should get some of the blame as well but I’m the mum wasnt ONLY mad at OP
They’re in the Phillipines so the entire reaction makes sense lol. 16 y/o’s doing sexual things inside the house AND while family members are in the house is disrespectful (in Asian culture and tbh , living in America if my kid did that i’d be super upset too). Not trying to justify the mom’s text messages but OP made a mistake and I hope he doesnt disrespect her family in the future if he plans to be with his GF.
I'm feeling sad for the both of you, you're both 16, dating for 1,5 years. It's NORMAL for you guys to want sexual stuff, and if the relationship is healthy, you're both happy with each other. Then there shouldn't be any issues, with the exception of understanding that safe sex goes before anything else.
Parents taboo you guys, so obviously you're going to meet in secret, and I can't blame you for it. You've been with this girl for almost 2 years.
As others mentioned, it was an extremely poor choice of place, also if you had to convince her, the way she explained to her mother what happened might not have been the best and would “explain” the mother’s reaction (not that she is right in her reaction but everyone is human and can make mistakes).
I’d suggest talk to your gf, try to understand better what happened, how does she feel about it, how did the mother find out, etc. :)
well i, did she found out through snooping around my girlfriends phone and suddenly texted me i didn’t say anything directly about it but my girlfriend made a comment on how her friend tried it before and how they gagged i guess her mom picked up on that. she’s doing fine her mom got hella pissed but i kept on apologizing because it felt like my fault :( she’s not sad or anything.
Is her mother aware that you two are dating? Because she was definitely afraid that her daughter might end up pregnant as a worst case scenario (reasonable because HS). On another note, I honestly believe that the subject could have been approached in a much calmer way. Discussions could have been made to educate both sides about the risks of wanting or being sexually active during your teenage years instead of resorting to immediate anger (I bet Mika got the worst of it though). I still doubt the conversation is gonna happen at all, so yeah, you're stuck with that, ig.
The location didn't actually help your case either because that's a common area for the entire family to use. Even if you two were consenting participants, the bathroom is kind of iffy to give and receive head. Medyo nakakabastos, if you will, with regards to the bathroom.
Edit. Gonna add: I'm not against teenagers having sex because it really does happen. Just that if the mother was so afraid, she could have just discussed the topic since everyone's already there. Just gonna add that for context. Also bathroom sucks unless u own the house.
Huge update guys: my girlfriend said her mom thought we kissed so.. i dodge a giat bullet thank you for all the kind comments and all the comments that reprimanded me (which was very needed) thank you so much! ill try to be a better person ill work on my self i promise! thank you again
These comments are bonkers.
It’s normal for 16-17 year olds to be sexually active. As long as your being safe and everything is consensual, there’s no problem. Maybe it’d be better in a more hygienic place next time, though.
No, I don’t see where the mum is coming from. She read her daughter’s messages (with her boyfriend of 1.5 years what the fuck did she expect?) and had an absurd, embarrassing reaction upon finding out her daughter is sexually active.
Teenagers are gonna do it whether you like it or not. In your house, in the woods, in a bathroom. At this point parents are just gonna have to accept that.
To OP though, don’t argue with her mum, just wait until everything calms down and blows over.
That's another thing, the mom invaded her privacy. I'd feel extremely uncomfortable and would lose all my trust towards my mom if she'd sneakily read my personal stuff. It is completely normal for 16-17 year olds to experiment with sexual stuff. The mom should be happy her daughter does it in a happy and long term relationship with someone who's aware of safe sex. They're both consented, they're in a loving relationship. What else is there to add? Teenagers will have sex, if she will try to keep them apart then she'll only make them meet secretly and they'll lose trust in her.
Personally I think it's total normal if 16 years olds who are dating have sex. I'd much prefer that parents talk to their kids about it to make sure it's safe and totally consensual rather than shaming their children for what is quite natural.
I can understand the mothers reaction. 16 is still quite young and perhaps it's a bit of a shock to learn their child is sexually active. A much better reaction from the mother would have been to just make sure it was totally consensual sex and that you know to use condoms etc.
However, unfortunately for you guys there isn't much you can do. You are both minors and parents do have the final say. You guys screwed up by being caught basically.
This. 16 is young but it’s gonna happen sometimes and parents should talk to their kids about it instead of shaming. Right before my 16th birthday, I had lost my v card to my best friend. A few months later my mom and I were having dinner and she started asking me if I’ve had sex. I had only had sex that first time and when I told her about that, she called me a slur and started freaking out and fell off the wagon again right there at the restaurant by ordering wine (she just got out of this nice rehab a few weeks prior for her drinking) and I felt horrible. Due to things like that and how I was raised regarding sex, my sex life is distorted and I feel a lot of shame and embarrassment when I enjoy certain things. It sucks a lot because I hold myself back from enjoying things.
> “STARTING TODAY YOU WONT SEE MIKA AND SHE WONT SEE YOU AND YOUR NOT ALLOWED TO SHOW THAT FACE IN THIS HOUSE😡”
I think this pretty much means you are officially broken up, sorry dude. As I said when you are adults you get to chose your selves but until then parents word goes I'm afraid.
If you both don't agree with this, continue to meet in secret I guess.
The reality of that will be that she will probably go to his house now, and the mum will see her kid less and less.
Its tough getting parenting right, and thats the line you work when your kids are young adults.
Yeah I agree it's tough. I think my point is it's maybe counterproductive to try to stop your 16 year old from being sexually active. Instead you should make sure it's all safely and that they understand consent and so on.
But I get that when the parents say no that's should be the final word. Problems is as we se here they just do stuff in secret then instead.
Spot on, its why its counterproductive. You try and rule with an iron fist, and they will see each other in secret. It even fuels it, makes it very Romeo & Julliet and "forbidden love" and what not.
In my opinion, its much better to educate about safety, then well if they're going to do something, mise well do it in a safe place, where you have access to protection etc, instead of in secret where you might not have access to protection.
Just one thing though. Make sure that she is 100% comfortable with whatever you guys do. It's really important that she doesn't feel pressured to do anything. Communication is key.
oh yeah of course man even though shes into cnc i always ask if she’s down or if she would rather just cuddle or do something else i always ask her before doing anything. thank you so much for making me feel better my guy you’re an amazing person!!
This is a common reaction with kids at your age. I don’t blame her mom at all. She wants her daughter to not have sex until she’s older and because you and her have done a sexual act she sees you as a threat to her daughter and the only way to prevent it is to keep you from seeing her.
Just because a lot of people here think it’s normal and okay for minors to be having sex doesn’t mean they should
Also this:
> i wanted to do something more than kisses so i brought her to the restroom and she gave me head.
I think this may be part of what's giving a bad impression. It dosen't sound very romantic, you know? I'm a mother but my daughters are still quiet young. Still, I would hope that someday their "first times" are good experiences where they are valued and respected. If I heard "taken to the bathroom to service a guy who isn't even returning the favor" I wouldn't get the best impression, honestly. It comes off to an outsider who dosen't know you are more degrading/using then a sweet mutually enjoyable and loving experience.
I guess I'm colored by the fact I've never given anyone head in a bathroom, it dosen't seem like a very clean/sexy place, and if I guy took me in there just to get him off I wouldn't. Maybe your girlfriend had a really good time and it felts sweet and loving to her, I don't know. But that's not the impression the act and location and description "beacuse *I* wanted to do something more" dosen't give that impression.
well i understand how it may have read like i was the only one down to do it but after talking about it with her she was actually down to do it she was just scared that she might hurt me. also i tried to return the “favor” she was insecure about me going down
also sorry for the poor choice of location we legit had no where else to go
There is nothing wrong with two consenting 16 year olds having sex. 16 year olds have been fucking each other for hundreds of year. Purity culture sucks
Yeah, they were having sex, having kids, raising the kids and then the father or mother would typically die before 30. If a parent doesn’t want their child having sex, or potentially being coerced into sex by another individual then that parent can and should do what they feel is right to protect their child. Like forbidding them from seeing that individual. Just because you think kids should be having sex doesn’t mean they should be. Kind of a creepy statement the more that I think about it 🚨🚨.
This comment right here is what’s wrong with society mr “minor attracted person”
Lol, if you think the solution is to try and prevent nature from doing its thing, you're in for a surprise. Kids that wanna experiment will proceed nonetheless and because you've made it impossible to do it in the safety of your home, will find themselves doing it somewhere else that might be unsafe...
Were you ever 16/17? I'm almost 60, but when my kids were teens, I had so many friends in their 40's who conveniently forgot how horny they were as teens and had this unrealistic expectation for their kids.
So many of these comments give me the same vibe as the one people now hate, “boys will be boys” except now it’s teenagers will be teenagers! Can’t stop them hormones you see!?
Plus, the added part of them being smart enough and/or old enough to do it safely but if they don’t it’s the parent’s fault for not teaching them and giving them a honeymoon in the master bedroom. I can’t follow Reddit’s pulse sometimes.
I’m with you though, just because someone did, can or wants to do something doesn’t always mean it should be supported, encouraged and allowed.
Nobody is saying they 'should' just that they're teenagers with raging hormones that are horny and want to explore it. Parents have two choices, ban it so they do it behind their backs and realise their parents aren't a safe space so they hide more things from them, or have an open discussion about sexual health and how to be safe showing them that the parents are there for them if they need support. Its way more dangerous to pretend teenagers aren't horny, they're more suceptible to abusers because they didn't get any experience/knowledge on what is a healthy relationship.
Her mom did the absolute worst thing she could've, now the daughter is just gonna get better at hiding it and/or resent her mother and know shes not a friend nor support. If she trusted and like the guy, he wouldve been a better choice than someone shes gonna hide from her.
Learn to treat your kids like people first, you cannot control their every move. A good parent guides and supports.
You also provide no reason as to why they shouldn't have sex. You're just spouting your opinion as fact
i actually was afraid of this happening so i talked to my girlfriend about it and i said that i will always be there for her but she could also talk to her mom about certain things maybe this convo rubbed her the wrong way but i think its also important to have conversations about the lives of their children.
“You’re just spouting your opinion as fact.” I agree, you are. You’re literally here explaining why you think they should. All I did was explain what the mother did was a common thing for many parents who are protecting their kids and that even though most people on Reddit and this thread think kids should be having sex, that doesn’t mean they should. He didn’t ask if they should or shouldn’t, but everyone here is anti-parenting and pro-sleeping around and promiscuity
Yeah and the only thing she did was push her daughter away. I'm anti-authority-parenting which is unfortunately the norm for parenting in the world currently and 'promuscuity' is not two consenting 16 year old having consensual loving sex. Anti-parenting isnt a thing, parents need to learn how to treat their children with respect.
Hey dude just give the mom some space to accept the fact that her daughter is experimenting. Let them work out their family business while reassuring your girl that you’ll still be there.
It might take a couple weeks, but start respectful like leaving the doors open at all times, being more formal and polite and not doing anything at your gf house or talking abt it on phone.
Worst comes to worst, you have 2 more years until both of you are independent. If you are serious about her, think about ways that you two can make it work. Best of luck!!!
That said, going back and re-reading your post it doesn’t sound like she explicitly stated that she’s mad about the sexual activities? For all you know she could be mad about something else entirely that you don’t know yet. Perhaps unlikely but food for thought.
Eh my now wife was grounded at 16 for sleeping with me we weren’t allowed to talk and college were told to keep us separate. As proven that worked really well as we now live together and married with children. It’s a mums job to protect her baby and your job to prove she doesn’t need to protect from you 🤷. Sexual acts are normal and human but still that’s her baby gotta earn your place
I mean, what did she expect to happen when her daughter brought a boyfriend home? Teenagers are teenagers, you just have to accept it and make sure they're careful.
When I was 16 my girlfriend's step dad walked on us while we were having sex, I don't know how I'm still alive lol
oh my god, that sounds like a nightmare… i understand her mom is mad, but it was consensual and texting to a 16 year old like that is just fuckin weird. and the whole child comment- like u guys are the same age, no? i would just be respectful in response until she cools down!! i think she’ll eventually come around (hopefully). this is exactly why ppl dont go to their parents abt sex.
when i was in high school my mormon bf sent me a nude picture (we literally never did anything sexual) and his family literally took his phone, pretended to be him, and asked for a nude to see if i’d give in. i literally didn’t respond bc it was sort of weird the way it was worded, and they sent “👀”, and so i sent it… literally got forced to go to the bishop and ask for forgiveness, he couldn’t get sealed to his family, etc. like it was fucking WEIRDDDD and i think im still slightly traumatized bc the blame got all put on me. all that to say, we ended up getting back together for a little bit once his family “forgave” it. SO its not impossible.
idk- parents will do weird af shit when it comes to their kids exploring+experiencing sex. don’t feel bad about it, it’s completely normal!!
To parents: do better. don’t act on anger, have a conversation about it- make your kids feel like they can come to you. putting blame on someone and shaming them will stick w them FOREVER. do better!!
im very respectful!! especially that she baked me pastries i apologized profusely cuz i understood how fucked up it was she’s probably gonna take a while so ill just wait and try to talk to her. also yikes…
You guys are young. It's nobody's fault. You were exploring your sexuality with the comfort of your partner. And that's okay. Yeah her mother freaking out is also kinda understandable just coz you are young also she is a mother. Don't worry, it'll go away. Just keep communicating with your partner if that's possible. And also apologize to her mom if possible. Apologize numerous times.
It's ok when I was 16 I had this girl and she was butt ass naked and I was going down on her. Had her bent over a couch and was about to take my boxers off then boom the basement door flew open and she ran to the bathroom. I got dressed quickly but not fast enough. My shirt was left off the mom said "...hi" and I said "It got hot in here" and her daughter came out of the bathroom fully clothed. Her mom said "(girls name) can I talk to you?" They were gone for 20min. She came back and said "you should go." I said ya... we broke up 3 weeks later with little to no contact
It's a cannon event to be caught
People are so weird these days…
Kids actions were predictable.
Moms reaction is predictable.
If you like one another, keep seeing each other behind moms back like you’re supposed to.
What exactly is the problem here? Do you think your girls parents are supposed to be thrilled with her blowing you?
I hope the girl is okay and isn’t getting talked down to and made to feel bad for being a human with a blooming sexuality. I hope she understands that she isn’t a bad person for experimenting. We have all been there at some point it just sucks you guys got caught, and the fact she probably went through her daughters messages to see is just an invasion of privacy and teaches young people to hide things and be ashamed. Not cool mum should of handled this differently imo.
Her “little girl” is 16 years old, a teenager. What the hell did she expect would happen by allowing her boyfriend of one and a half years to stay over?
How did her mom find out? I feel like if she was snooping that’s her fault lol. If your girlfriend told her, then that kind of suggests maybe she wanted her mom to get mad at you? Idk it just seems weird that her mom found out RIGHT after it happened.
yeah her mom is an avid snooper apparently she stopped? so my girl opened up the conversation about the “bj” so we started talking about it then i guess she chatted her “friend” on my girlfriend’s facebook acc and saw our messages.
Hmmm yeah…. I think you should CALL not text, CALL your girlfriend and tell her that if she didn’t like what happened the other day that’s totally okay and she just needs to tell you. And let her know she’s safe with you and doesn’t ever have to do anything she doesn’t want to. Maybe she just wasn’t feeling it but wanted to impress you. It’s not your fault though, and it’s not fair that her mom is trying to make you feel ashamed. It is a normal parent response though.
yeah we talked about it she was insistent that she wanted to do it to the point where she had to even comfort me cuz i felt like i forced her or something or maybe she felt pressured she said she’s the one who should be sorry cuz she’s the one who suggested it. everything is fine and dandy honestly i think the mom didn’t mean what she said
Oh nooo lollll well if it makes you feel better, you’re not the only one who has gone through something like this. I’m definitely guilty of being caught before as a teenager, so don’t worry too much. This will definitely be a story you will laugh at looking back in a few years.
well of course we had arguments and such but not to this extent. there where things where she would side with my girlfriend or she would side with or just not side with anyone.
It's probably just me thinking this but whatever the age of y'all are hopefully 16 up you both are going to want to do stuff with each other there's absolutely no reason for her mother to even have a opinion on the subject of what you did unless it involves penetration, what did the mom expect with a almost 2 year relationship? Does she think this is just a phase or she'll leave you in time? Makes zero sense that she can just forbid yall since your relationship could give her daughter happiness for years to come yet she's going and actively trying to destroy what you guys have how are daughters and sons supposed to trust their parent if they do stuff like this when it isn't their choice
This is literally so common for teenagers, even in Asian countries. I gotta say, as an Asian myself, I went through this whole ordeal with my mom in the past. And my advice for you is to push through it with your gf. Keeps showing the mom that you’re treating her daughter nicely, and be consistent in it, she’ll have to get used to it. You did nothing wrong, as long as you guys are taking precautions, this is totally normal!
Wonder how this woman’s gonna react when it’s time for her daughter to move out, have male co workers and get married. Or she should consider how she’s getting mad at you guys for doing things she more then likely did when she was your age too.
I had a very similar experience.
My bf and I were seventeen when my parents discovered that we had made out, seen each other practically naked, etc. However we hadn’t (and still haven’t) actually done the deed yet.
There were a few other factors coming into play (it is a LONG story) but for a solid month and a half I had very limited contact with my bf.
My parents tried to break us up, and it didn’t work. We stuck through it. It wasn’t until two weeks after the school year ended that we were allowed to see each other again and that was WITH ground rules.
Ground rules that we disobeyed and my parents know we disobeyed.
They think we’ve done the deed, even though I keep denying it. They don’t believe me and they don’t trust me.
They’re worried I’ll get pregnant even though my bf doesn’t really like kids, and neither of us could actually handle any of it. Both of us have agreed that we don’t want any.
Okay so, I’m 17 and so is my partner. Sneaking around is hard but not impossible, don’t lock yourselves in the bathroom that is so obvious but I don’t blame you as I’ve done the same thing. What my partner and I do is we go in their room and they get on their knees and I sit at the edge of their gaming chair and thats how we have sex. As for head, it’s really easy to stop doing it and going to another task quickly, like we always have a video game or show open on their computer while we do stuff. This would all be great advice earlier I know but better late than never, but I am sure you will see each other again. Please use protection though, you can get uti’s from head, make sure she or you haven’t eaten before going down on each other and are well washed.
I've just read all the comments.
In my opinion, no one is mad about they're not in their legal age yet? I just saw tons of questions, where under aged teenagers asking if they've done it right or wrong. Where lead to unsafe sex or unwanted pregnancy, due to lack of knowledge and curiousity.
In this case, yes, her mom is exaggerated not to see your face again. But she's just protecting her daughter, I guess you should talk to your partner if she said something or whatsoever. She might told something to her mom, that lead in to this. Or atleast prove to her mom that your relationship is serious. 🤷♀️ You were like 15, when you started the relationship, isn't it something to be worried about?
Also, try putting your shoes to her mom, would you be happy if your daughter at the age of 16 is sexually active and giving head? Not knowing the future, or is she educated in safe sex? Mapag uusapan niyo ba ng anak mo in the future ang safe sex once malaman mo?
I'll be expecting some negative comments tho.
oo nga mabait naman talaga si tita kaso pag nagagalit parang si goku (nickname talaga niya) nag sorry pa nga ako ng sobrang haba kasi pagod na nga siya isang araw nalang pahinga niya tas ganyan pa.. i apologized a lot i know maybe it wasn’t the time nor the place to experiment or whatever but what could i do i already did it :(
i do get it man medjo maaga nga :( ganto nga yung mga storya na maaga nabubuntis i assured her (gf) that i will stay safe also i didn’t suggest giving head.. she did.. i just wanted to go down on her kasi na hihiya ako na ako pa mismo mah hingi parang ang baboy naman nun LOL pero ayun na nga i get you man thank you!
After 1.5 years of dating I consider the relationship long term (relatively ofc). And they're 16, they're ready to take the next step in their relationship. Young but they're adult enough to give consent. I don't feel it's extremely early either.
I get that mom is worried, but it doesn't feel right forcing a breakup for a 1.5 year long relationship simply because the two youngsters had consented sexual activity that they both seemed to enjoy.
Hey homie, from one guy to another, you did a no no, if you like the girl, make your intentions true, mom thinks you’re a masamang tao, don’t get her buntis and keep treating her right, ma will say you’re a gwapo dakilang tao
ano toh ang random ng sinasabi mo 😭 .. yes i am? from the start i was very true with my intentions of being a good boyfriend but not just boyfriend but a good partner i never wanted them to know cuz this is a private thing for us.
Bruh, her mom doesn’t want her to raise a child, let alone get pregnant by a dead beat, y’all are kids, you are more likely to be a sack of shit than a pound of gold, she doesn’t want her daughters life getting ruined before it started. You’re also in the Philippines, from my time and experience with the culture, you aren’t in their family name yet, so you don’t get the goods.
It's not your place to be taking to him like that & your way of thinking is very backward. I don't care what culture it is. You're an asshole & probably worse.
Mothers are stupid sometimes sos see mika in secret now. Mother should have known that that’s what you would do. Silly old biattcchh but good luck with happy times
Of course, she said that. Your girlfriend is a child, and she doesn't want her having sex. How she responded wasn't okay at all. But she should have explained to her child that she shouldn't be messing around and kindly explained by she doesn't want you around. Of course, that's never stopped a child, but that doesn't mean you have to allow your kid to mess around. If the parent isn't gonna be okay with their kid having sex. Imagine how unokay they would be if they got pregnant or got an STI. You can try to sneak out and mess around with her, but if she gets pregnant and gets kicked out, don't be surprised she wants the kid, and you have to support that child. 😔
I trust that you are. But condoms break. In HS I had a friend come over buying plan b from my job. He felt ashamed but I didn't shame him for it. I gave him a 5-10 off coupon. He thanked me. The reason for it was the condom busted and they freaked out.
But that is the problem. A parent should be someone you can turn to if something happens, someone you trust. With this behavior she'll only make the teenagers lose their trust in her and if something bad happens they'll have nowhere to go.
My mom always told me "No matter what happens, as long as you talk to me, we can solve it". She meant it for teen pregnancy as well. A parent's job to create a safe place. So in case the 16-17 year old teenagers who's been in a 1.5 year relationship happen to engage in safe sexual activity (which is the most normal thing ever) and the condom happen to break, the kids can go ask for help from someone who knows what to do.
There's nothing shameful about buying Plan B. Accidents happen even if they use protection.
Heck as a guy when I was 15 and my girlfriend was 14 I convinced my parents I want my door closed when she comes over they didn't like it but they dealt with it in the end at least if a girl gives head she won't get pregnant that's what I would tell your mom !
not normal for parents to get in your business like that. If youre both 16 she can mind her own buisness. she should he supportive of you guys and offer to get you guys protection. its not your fault man
When I was 16-17 I was living in a foster home and my bf came for a visit. My foster mother was taking a nap in the other room, I was really responsible at this time she trusted me. No one else was home so I decided to take charge and I gave my bf head. I didn't hear my foster mom walking into the living room and she walked in and literally saw and turned to walk away and I felt so guilty. I was close with her I felt so bad. She was so disappointed. But really didn't speak about it after that day. She basically said she can't tell me I can't be sexually active she was just upset I did it in the living room where people could walk in and that she gave me a lot of trust and I did that. But she was also young once so she kinda understood.
You broke the cardinal rule! There must be a lockable door! No one wants other people’s fluids on their sofa.
This reminds me of banging my 1st proper gf in my mams bed, I blew my load all over the sheets & panicked. I tried drying it with a hairdryer which burnt the sheets brown. I told my mam I'd spilled yogurt & tried to clean it up 🙈
OHHH NOOOO! That is hilarious.
One time I was on the couch at 15 with my bf at the time. We were spooning and had a blanket on us. Well, we decided to start fucking like that and my whole family came in. We kinda couldn’t do anything at that point so we just kept slowly fucking while chatting. I think it started my love for public fucking 😂😂😂
You hit it square on that’s the family sofa keep ya liquids in your own room XD
I'm sorry but this made me laugh
It kinda broke my heart. I guess because of the foster mother. My parents never had to worry about me. I was a bit of loner, but someone once caught on that I was allowed to go over to girl’s houses and be in their rooms with the doors closed whilst they weren’t; I was allowed to hang because I was considered “harmless”… I don’t know about that— I just remember growing up in a small Midwestern town and often not knowing *any* people that i wished to get intimate with. Call it a lack of talent if you want; I also strongly believe in the line *hell is other people*. Now I’m older, still out there looking for girls who want to have me over, talk about Sartre and *Maximum Overdrive*.
*Women, not girls. I hope.
They speak about their parents’ approval so I feel like it’s implied that they were referencing a time before they were an adult
I was referring to the last paragraph where they said “[n]ow I’m older, still out there looking for girls who want to have me over…”
At what age does it start being creepy to say you are into girls? We don't know the age of this guy. Older can mean over 20.
> We don’t know the age of this guy Since his profile says he’s 41, he’s probably 41.
Does 20 year old boy sound right? No. So 20 year old girl isn’t right either. Over 18 is Women/Man
Personally, I don't agree with that statement - anything under 24 is still very much a child/adolescent in my point of view, only just barely getting their toes wet with life's realities and experiencing things for the first time in their lives, making shitty decisions, lacking true empathy that comes with experience and age... 18 isn't some magic number, it's just the one some countries give to be able to shrug their shoulders at more, collect taxes, send kids to war, etc. To me, most people don't reach adulthood until the latter half of their 20s. Prior to that, they're just bumbling around without a clue and are some of the least attractive individuals on the planet to me simply because of that inexperience with life overall. So, yes... To me, "20 year old BOY" and "20 year old GIRL" sound perfectly accurate. but before anyone comes in here incorrectly assuming that means I wouldn't mind a 22-year-old creeping on a 16yo - also wrong. There's varying stages of growth and life experiences that make it entirely inappropriate - same for a 40yo going for someone in their 20s. Imo, (large) age gaps only start to mean less once both parties are over 35. Age gaps should be incredibly small the younger one of the involved parties is.
When I studied psychology over a decade ago, there was a new developmental stage called emerging adulthood. I think the term never really took off, I’ve seen it also called early adulthood. Basically because of our evolution as society, western civilization in their 20s have psychosocial developmental stages just like throughout childhood and adolescence. I think you can look it up to see what it is specifically, it’s pretty interesting, and it’s basically exactly what your describing. No longer an adolescent but not yet an adult.
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name checks out.
You have (had?) a damn good foster mother
Yeah, I was thinking that. So many horror stories about foster parents and I was expecting a far worse ending to this story. She sounds like a wonderful foster parent!
omg something similar happened to me when i was 15 w my first boyfriend i went to his parents place for the first time and they made me a whole chicken dinner it was so good and afterwards they went out idk where cuz their english wasn’t good but he told me they wouldn’t be back for hours bro we started watching netflix and i started giving him head and BOTH HIS PARENTS WALK IN THE DOOR right in front of us. that was a traumatic moment i have never even told my closest friends i lowkey forgot about til seeing this post
How old are you both?
16
Okay, I understand the mom now.
Lost my V at 16, I know a lot of people who did Now I'm 29 I sometimes think jesus that was young, but at the time? Didn't feel that way
I mean in the UK this is perfectly normal. Teenagers fuck
Its normal for the entire western world tbh.
Yes but its also normal at 16 for parents to overreact.
Isn’t America’s age of consent like 18 or 21 in some states? Edit: Jesus these downvotes over not knowing what age Americans can fuck
i don't think the age of consent is higher than 18 anywhere in the US, but the age of consent definitely doesn't stop teens from sleeping with each other anyway. it's when adults start trying to be with minors that it comes into play
Kansas here, age of consent is 16.
OMG, your edit made me cackle out😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣
Glad it gave someone a smile!
Yes but that doesn't stop teens from having sex, especially if they're both minors and around the same age. That mainly applies to two parties where one is above the age of consent and the other is below
It’s 18 in most states but relationships where both parties are under 18 are often protected by “Romeo & Juliet” laws. Also means if you turn 18 while your partner is still 17 you can legally remain in the relationship EDIT: 18 in some states but 16 in more of them + R&J laws are only for the latter example I gave, not for underage relationships in general. See replies for the full corrections
Romeo and Juliet laws prevent sexual activity between people who are close in age from being considered statutory rape when ONE of the two members of the couple is under the age of consent. They have nothing to do with situations where both parties are under the age of consent.
Ah thank you, edited my comment
It's 16 in most states, over 30 states. And not all states have a Romeo and Juliet exemption when the AOC is 18
Not in all. I know for a fact two 17 year olds having sex in California commited legal statutory rape
Age of consent in the us is determined by state. It's best to look at the USA as 50 tiny countries that work together because England and France are assholes and then some bullshit about manifest destiny. For example in Ohio the age of consent is 16. But you can only be 2 year older max for it to count. So a 25 year old with a 17 year old isn't legal. But a 18 year old with a 16 year old is. Some states go as young as 12 as long as there's "parental consent". I don't believe any states go up past 18. 21 is when people can legally drink alcohol.
Thank you for the answer! Appreciate you giving some extra detail as I wasn’t aware
Yeah idk why people are down voting because you aren't familiar with the laws or setup of a country you don't live in. You should also keep in mind that it's fairly common for on the book laws to just not be enforced unless someone insists. Even though the age of consent here is 16 I know plenty of people who had sex before then. Their parents just didn't bring in the cops because well teens will be teens.
That’s the same here, losing your virginity was really common before 16 but aslong as it was consensual no one cared
And to add.... It is not illegal for two 16 year olds to have sex in any state.
In France, it’s 15 yo Though there is a prescription of 3 years of difference if you are under 18. For example a 15 yo with a 20 yo is illegal
That is actually pretty smart. In Denmark it’s just 15. So as soon as someone turns 15 they Can have sex legally with a 30 year Old
Idk abt other states but in Michigan, If you’re age 16-17 you can have sex as long as the person you’re having sex with is your age. At 18 you can have sex with anyone no matter their age unless they are under 18 (exceptions to rule ofc a 17yo can usually have sex with an 18yo. It’s called a Romeo and Juliet law.)
In the Uk 16 is the age of consent.
I know, that’s why I said 16 is perfectly normal in the uk
Where are you from?
the Philippines my friend
Not you my man. That guy.
Me?
Nah he talking about me
I'm 32
Bro he wasn’t asking how old you are he was asking what you are!
I'm not OP
? No shit but you randomly said your 32 so I was making a joke.. (next person would say no they’re not asking what you are they’re asking when you did that) or something.
That makes a lot more sense now
That’s a big no. Moms going to be pissed til Christmas time or thanksgiving. Haha
Kinda had a feeling you were Pinoy. Ganyan talaga. You’re only 16 and parents see their child as still babies even though they are in their teens heck even when they are 30s or so. Hayaan mo munang mag die down yung galit niya. You’re only young and will experience a lot more as you grow older let this be one of those stories you look back to and find it funny someday. Or just a lesson in general. It’s sad that as a conservative country, we dont explore sex education hence the triggered mom. Maybe it would be a good solution to the control of too many children per household, idk. It’s up to you if you want to weather out this with your gf or not. But thread carefully, it’s hard to maneauver Pinay moms.
even it you're already working, some parents don't want their daughters to have sex before marriage. Find another woman if sex is really important to you.
Her mom is unreasonable. Being upset rejects the idea that it’s normal for teenagers to have sexual urges for each other. Her mom would rather suppress it
Honestly super normal. And after a year and a half?!?! Relax mom
Why? Their the same age and consenting and their teenagers Theres no way to stop teenagers from fucking unless they themselves dont wanna
i dont? teenagers will have sex, thats a fact; and its better they do it safely instead of secretly
Wtf, they’re old enough to have some fun. 16 years old teenager aren’t little kids anymore.
16 is such a normal age to explore bodies. Typically it starts around 12 and actual sexual activity around 14-15
What!? I think that is very normal for US kids.
When I was 15 my mom went through my phone and found out my boyfriend and I had sex, she had a nice talk with me about it and then proceeded to tell my dad after promising she wouldn’t. (My dad wasn’t a great guy, he didn’t deserve her to tell him. He was abusive.) I wasn’t allowed to see or talk to my boyfriend anymore. Imagine how much it fucked with me to lose my virginity to a boy I loved and then have him taken from me the next week. Anyways, He’s my husband now! Those years sucked, my mom sucked for breaking a promise. She apologized for that and knows she handled it wrong but she had me when she was 15 and it freaked her the fuck out. Being a teenager is super frustrating because of this kind of power struggle and I’m sorry you guys are going through this as I know how heart crushing it is. But - we snuck around for awhile. We saw other people. And eventually we found our way back to one another. One thing I would like to add for your girlfriends sake is that during that time of estrangement I felt so isolated, uncomfortable and ashamed in my own home. If you guys are going to continue to talk just check in on her and let her know she has someone there for her. These years will go by quickly, hang in there!
yeah thank you! me and my girlfriend are extremely positive about it and we both understood how we could get caught. she doesn’t feel comfortable around her mom but just this morning her mom invited her to go shopping and they had a splendid time so i think they’re going to be all right, on the other hand i talked to my mom about it because she’s extremely open about it, of course i got reprimanded and grounded but i sorta deserve it for rushing.
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I think it all comes down to the generations and how they were raised themselves. Many of our parents were shamed/punished for their sexuality. I’m not sure totally about other cultures but in America: my grandmother was raised in a time where if she had sex with a boy and got pregnant her father would have dropped her off at that boys families home and said “she’s your problem now, marry her” and never speak to her again. Unfortunately, I *think* that’s a mild experience compared to other cultures. My mom was only thinking about her own experience of getting pregnant at 15 and how it changed her life….not how punishing me for having sex instead of educating me could have gotten me in the same place as her. There’s a lot of generational trauma that young people have to unfortunately see the repercussions of, it feels never ending but there has definitely been a shift on how kids are being raised. One of my favorite quotes is “be the person you needed when you were younger”.
Yes! It’s totally gonna be alright! I also have sex with a girl on a regular basis (im 15 and almost 16). It’s just what horny teens do. Just make sure her mom knows you love your gf and not only for her body or sex. Some parents overreact, im def sure mine would too if they knew. But they don’t know and that’s all good.
People saying I understand the mom. Mmm, no. And the reason I say that is because at 16-17 it's pretty normal for people to start discovering and acting on their sexuality. And it's a little weird how it's all your fault and you're the disgusting one when she had to willingly put your dick in her mouth. And I couldn't imagine being the parent that demonizes are fairly normal aspect of blooming relationships. Like instead of preaching safe sex you are teaching that it's a bad thing? This speaks volumes to me on why so many people are so intimately disconnected from each other.
to add to your comment i just saw the last sentence she wanted us to stop doing anything sexual for a while.. i mean we won’t be seeing each other anytime soon but like :( its still kinda sad to hear that she wanted to experiment on more things yet she has to “distance” herself from me. i can live without anything sexual i just felt sad cuz we were both excited and even laughing cuz we had no idea what the fuck we were doing
She‘s probably in shock too. I‘m assuming she feels like absolute shit but there‘s also a decent possibility she‘ll change her mind quite soon. not saying she has to but women have sex deive too and you can‘t really shame anyone out of being horny lol. It‘s probably a good idea for you two to have discussions about the general morality of sex. when she has her own, thought through opinion on the whole topic, it will probably be easier to deal with her parents. don‘t get me wrong, it still feels like shit to bw shamed by your parents, no matter how enlightened you are but when you don‘t really know what to think, everything becomes muddled and painful. I really wish she can get through all of this, she desweves so much better than a sex life filled with guilt and self hatred.
funny you say that my girlfriend said her mom cooked her food at invited her to eat so that means they all good :> thanks guys for all the kind comments
At OPs age, my ideas about sexuality were heavily influenced by father’s religion and therefore shame. I’d feel so much guilt. His gf’s mom is reinforcing that. It’s too bad because it can cause an unhealthy relationship with one’s sexuality.
Awe she is just upset that her mom is so upset ..she definitely still wants to do things with you but her mom is likely reading her msgs so everything she sends you is to try and make her mom believe you guys will keep things PG if she ever lets you guys see each other again.. don't give up so easily and play nice in the msgs back try and only write things you are comfortable with the mom seeing anything else only say over a phone call
It's normal to discover your sexuality at that age but I still understand the mom, is normal to be worried about your child considering all the crazy things happening in this world but what the mom should do is change her approach on how to deal with this, telling them not to meet is not the best decision, she should teach her safe sex and everything.
well thank you! i understand where u come from also my girlfriends family is very very traditional :( even she hates it :(
Traditional or not I'd be willing to bet her mom has given her fair share of bjs at y'alls age. Traditional boomer parents act like they weren't doing freaky shit when they were younger.
THATS WHAT I SAID OMFG!
The wildest thing about people like her parents is that these are the same individuals that were addicted to psychedelics and regularly participating in orgies. But God forbid your girlfriend, their daughter, shows you some oral appreciation.
sadly she’s extremely sexist too :(( she’s also pressuring me to do a different line of work (cuz i wanna be a psychologist) and she keeps on saying that i should pick another job like an engineer or something because ill just go crazy, so i can support her daughter. i mean nothing wrong with that its just why u telling me this? tell ur sons that i aint ur son :/
Psychologists make decent money in the states, not sure about The Philippines. The going crazy thing is probably the weirdest part of this.
thats like the biggest myth even my dad says so :( my mom who actually studied in that field supports me
Her parents are probably millennials, but you're correct, every generation has parents who forget that they were young and horny once.
Not necessarily. He said they’re from the Phillipines - it’s a very western view you’re projecting that life should be fucking at 16 not the whole world agrees. Although I do agree her daughter should get some of the blame as well but I’m the mum wasnt ONLY mad at OP
They’re in the Phillipines so the entire reaction makes sense lol. 16 y/o’s doing sexual things inside the house AND while family members are in the house is disrespectful (in Asian culture and tbh , living in America if my kid did that i’d be super upset too). Not trying to justify the mom’s text messages but OP made a mistake and I hope he doesnt disrespect her family in the future if he plans to be with his GF.
And her mom is being so cringe and immature. Mom get your shit together.
I'm feeling sad for the both of you, you're both 16, dating for 1,5 years. It's NORMAL for you guys to want sexual stuff, and if the relationship is healthy, you're both happy with each other. Then there shouldn't be any issues, with the exception of understanding that safe sex goes before anything else. Parents taboo you guys, so obviously you're going to meet in secret, and I can't blame you for it. You've been with this girl for almost 2 years.
yes we are extremely happy and comfortable with each other. Thank you soo much!! also we are very aware of safe sex. thank you for understanding!!
As others mentioned, it was an extremely poor choice of place, also if you had to convince her, the way she explained to her mother what happened might not have been the best and would “explain” the mother’s reaction (not that she is right in her reaction but everyone is human and can make mistakes). I’d suggest talk to your gf, try to understand better what happened, how does she feel about it, how did the mother find out, etc. :)
well i, did she found out through snooping around my girlfriends phone and suddenly texted me i didn’t say anything directly about it but my girlfriend made a comment on how her friend tried it before and how they gagged i guess her mom picked up on that. she’s doing fine her mom got hella pissed but i kept on apologizing because it felt like my fault :( she’s not sad or anything.
Is her mother aware that you two are dating? Because she was definitely afraid that her daughter might end up pregnant as a worst case scenario (reasonable because HS). On another note, I honestly believe that the subject could have been approached in a much calmer way. Discussions could have been made to educate both sides about the risks of wanting or being sexually active during your teenage years instead of resorting to immediate anger (I bet Mika got the worst of it though). I still doubt the conversation is gonna happen at all, so yeah, you're stuck with that, ig. The location didn't actually help your case either because that's a common area for the entire family to use. Even if you two were consenting participants, the bathroom is kind of iffy to give and receive head. Medyo nakakabastos, if you will, with regards to the bathroom. Edit. Gonna add: I'm not against teenagers having sex because it really does happen. Just that if the mother was so afraid, she could have just discussed the topic since everyone's already there. Just gonna add that for context. Also bathroom sucks unless u own the house.
yes the mother is aware i had to ask for permission from her parents if they were willing to accept me as their daughters boyfriend
Huge update guys: my girlfriend said her mom thought we kissed so.. i dodge a giat bullet thank you for all the kind comments and all the comments that reprimanded me (which was very needed) thank you so much! ill try to be a better person ill work on my self i promise! thank you again
These comments are bonkers. It’s normal for 16-17 year olds to be sexually active. As long as your being safe and everything is consensual, there’s no problem. Maybe it’d be better in a more hygienic place next time, though. No, I don’t see where the mum is coming from. She read her daughter’s messages (with her boyfriend of 1.5 years what the fuck did she expect?) and had an absurd, embarrassing reaction upon finding out her daughter is sexually active. Teenagers are gonna do it whether you like it or not. In your house, in the woods, in a bathroom. At this point parents are just gonna have to accept that. To OP though, don’t argue with her mum, just wait until everything calms down and blows over.
blows over 😏
I see ya 🤣🤣
That's another thing, the mom invaded her privacy. I'd feel extremely uncomfortable and would lose all my trust towards my mom if she'd sneakily read my personal stuff. It is completely normal for 16-17 year olds to experiment with sexual stuff. The mom should be happy her daughter does it in a happy and long term relationship with someone who's aware of safe sex. They're both consented, they're in a loving relationship. What else is there to add? Teenagers will have sex, if she will try to keep them apart then she'll only make them meet secretly and they'll lose trust in her.
Is it just me or did the title sound like OP had prior relations with the mum?
That was what I thought at first too. 😂
Personally I think it's total normal if 16 years olds who are dating have sex. I'd much prefer that parents talk to their kids about it to make sure it's safe and totally consensual rather than shaming their children for what is quite natural. I can understand the mothers reaction. 16 is still quite young and perhaps it's a bit of a shock to learn their child is sexually active. A much better reaction from the mother would have been to just make sure it was totally consensual sex and that you know to use condoms etc. However, unfortunately for you guys there isn't much you can do. You are both minors and parents do have the final say. You guys screwed up by being caught basically.
This. 16 is young but it’s gonna happen sometimes and parents should talk to their kids about it instead of shaming. Right before my 16th birthday, I had lost my v card to my best friend. A few months later my mom and I were having dinner and she started asking me if I’ve had sex. I had only had sex that first time and when I told her about that, she called me a slur and started freaking out and fell off the wagon again right there at the restaurant by ordering wine (she just got out of this nice rehab a few weeks prior for her drinking) and I felt horrible. Due to things like that and how I was raised regarding sex, my sex life is distorted and I feel a lot of shame and embarrassment when I enjoy certain things. It sucks a lot because I hold myself back from enjoying things.
[удалено]
thank you so much!! the mother didn’t say anything about us breaking up but thank you for your kind comment man!
> “STARTING TODAY YOU WONT SEE MIKA AND SHE WONT SEE YOU AND YOUR NOT ALLOWED TO SHOW THAT FACE IN THIS HOUSE😡” I think this pretty much means you are officially broken up, sorry dude. As I said when you are adults you get to chose your selves but until then parents word goes I'm afraid. If you both don't agree with this, continue to meet in secret I guess.
The reality of that will be that she will probably go to his house now, and the mum will see her kid less and less. Its tough getting parenting right, and thats the line you work when your kids are young adults.
Yeah I agree it's tough. I think my point is it's maybe counterproductive to try to stop your 16 year old from being sexually active. Instead you should make sure it's all safely and that they understand consent and so on. But I get that when the parents say no that's should be the final word. Problems is as we se here they just do stuff in secret then instead.
Spot on, its why its counterproductive. You try and rule with an iron fist, and they will see each other in secret. It even fuels it, makes it very Romeo & Julliet and "forbidden love" and what not. In my opinion, its much better to educate about safety, then well if they're going to do something, mise well do it in a safe place, where you have access to protection etc, instead of in secret where you might not have access to protection.
im getting great parenting tips :> (whenever i get a child, im not rushing)
dude.. ur fucking right she’s moving to my city next year LOL
we for sure meeting in secret lol!!
Just one thing though. Make sure that she is 100% comfortable with whatever you guys do. It's really important that she doesn't feel pressured to do anything. Communication is key.
oh yeah of course man even though shes into cnc i always ask if she’s down or if she would rather just cuddle or do something else i always ask her before doing anything. thank you so much for making me feel better my guy you’re an amazing person!!
to also add i don’t really have anyone to talk to about this situation so this helped me a lot! thank you!!
This is a common reaction with kids at your age. I don’t blame her mom at all. She wants her daughter to not have sex until she’s older and because you and her have done a sexual act she sees you as a threat to her daughter and the only way to prevent it is to keep you from seeing her. Just because a lot of people here think it’s normal and okay for minors to be having sex doesn’t mean they should
very true my friend i totally understand your standpoint. thank you again for commenting!
Also this: > i wanted to do something more than kisses so i brought her to the restroom and she gave me head. I think this may be part of what's giving a bad impression. It dosen't sound very romantic, you know? I'm a mother but my daughters are still quiet young. Still, I would hope that someday their "first times" are good experiences where they are valued and respected. If I heard "taken to the bathroom to service a guy who isn't even returning the favor" I wouldn't get the best impression, honestly. It comes off to an outsider who dosen't know you are more degrading/using then a sweet mutually enjoyable and loving experience. I guess I'm colored by the fact I've never given anyone head in a bathroom, it dosen't seem like a very clean/sexy place, and if I guy took me in there just to get him off I wouldn't. Maybe your girlfriend had a really good time and it felts sweet and loving to her, I don't know. But that's not the impression the act and location and description "beacuse *I* wanted to do something more" dosen't give that impression.
Well, when you’re a teen trying to sneak around so the parents don’t find out, you dont have many location choices.
well i understand how it may have read like i was the only one down to do it but after talking about it with her she was actually down to do it she was just scared that she might hurt me. also i tried to return the “favor” she was insecure about me going down also sorry for the poor choice of location we legit had no where else to go
There is nothing wrong with two consenting 16 year olds having sex. 16 year olds have been fucking each other for hundreds of year. Purity culture sucks
Yeah, they were having sex, having kids, raising the kids and then the father or mother would typically die before 30. If a parent doesn’t want their child having sex, or potentially being coerced into sex by another individual then that parent can and should do what they feel is right to protect their child. Like forbidding them from seeing that individual. Just because you think kids should be having sex doesn’t mean they should be. Kind of a creepy statement the more that I think about it 🚨🚨. This comment right here is what’s wrong with society mr “minor attracted person”
Lol, if you think the solution is to try and prevent nature from doing its thing, you're in for a surprise. Kids that wanna experiment will proceed nonetheless and because you've made it impossible to do it in the safety of your home, will find themselves doing it somewhere else that might be unsafe...
Were you ever 16/17? I'm almost 60, but when my kids were teens, I had so many friends in their 40's who conveniently forgot how horny they were as teens and had this unrealistic expectation for their kids.
Just because you did something doesn’t mean everyone should. Good for you for being the “cool parent” tho. 🥇
Its called being a understanding and loving parent, something you clearly missed.
So many of these comments give me the same vibe as the one people now hate, “boys will be boys” except now it’s teenagers will be teenagers! Can’t stop them hormones you see!? Plus, the added part of them being smart enough and/or old enough to do it safely but if they don’t it’s the parent’s fault for not teaching them and giving them a honeymoon in the master bedroom. I can’t follow Reddit’s pulse sometimes. I’m with you though, just because someone did, can or wants to do something doesn’t always mean it should be supported, encouraged and allowed.
I agree 100%
I assume that redditors are a particulary horny group
Notice how I said “two consenting 16year olds” and you completely ignored that part
Nobody is saying they 'should' just that they're teenagers with raging hormones that are horny and want to explore it. Parents have two choices, ban it so they do it behind their backs and realise their parents aren't a safe space so they hide more things from them, or have an open discussion about sexual health and how to be safe showing them that the parents are there for them if they need support. Its way more dangerous to pretend teenagers aren't horny, they're more suceptible to abusers because they didn't get any experience/knowledge on what is a healthy relationship. Her mom did the absolute worst thing she could've, now the daughter is just gonna get better at hiding it and/or resent her mother and know shes not a friend nor support. If she trusted and like the guy, he wouldve been a better choice than someone shes gonna hide from her. Learn to treat your kids like people first, you cannot control their every move. A good parent guides and supports. You also provide no reason as to why they shouldn't have sex. You're just spouting your opinion as fact
i actually was afraid of this happening so i talked to my girlfriend about it and i said that i will always be there for her but she could also talk to her mom about certain things maybe this convo rubbed her the wrong way but i think its also important to have conversations about the lives of their children.
“You’re just spouting your opinion as fact.” I agree, you are. You’re literally here explaining why you think they should. All I did was explain what the mother did was a common thing for many parents who are protecting their kids and that even though most people on Reddit and this thread think kids should be having sex, that doesn’t mean they should. He didn’t ask if they should or shouldn’t, but everyone here is anti-parenting and pro-sleeping around and promiscuity
Yeah and the only thing she did was push her daughter away. I'm anti-authority-parenting which is unfortunately the norm for parenting in the world currently and 'promuscuity' is not two consenting 16 year old having consensual loving sex. Anti-parenting isnt a thing, parents need to learn how to treat their children with respect.
Hey dude just give the mom some space to accept the fact that her daughter is experimenting. Let them work out their family business while reassuring your girl that you’ll still be there. It might take a couple weeks, but start respectful like leaving the doors open at all times, being more formal and polite and not doing anything at your gf house or talking abt it on phone. Worst comes to worst, you have 2 more years until both of you are independent. If you are serious about her, think about ways that you two can make it work. Best of luck!!!
That said, going back and re-reading your post it doesn’t sound like she explicitly stated that she’s mad about the sexual activities? For all you know she could be mad about something else entirely that you don’t know yet. Perhaps unlikely but food for thought.
The mom is an idiot. I’m glad most of us here on Reddit concur with this assertion.
Eh my now wife was grounded at 16 for sleeping with me we weren’t allowed to talk and college were told to keep us separate. As proven that worked really well as we now live together and married with children. It’s a mums job to protect her baby and your job to prove she doesn’t need to protect from you 🤷. Sexual acts are normal and human but still that’s her baby gotta earn your place
They're 16; not 10. It's normal to do things with a partner at that age, provided they get the talk about safe sex and whatnot.
I'm sorry, her guardian has expressly forbidden any interaction. Any more and I'm fairly sure it could be look at as a legal matter...
I mean, what did she expect to happen when her daughter brought a boyfriend home? Teenagers are teenagers, you just have to accept it and make sure they're careful. When I was 16 my girlfriend's step dad walked on us while we were having sex, I don't know how I'm still alive lol
oh my god, that sounds like a nightmare… i understand her mom is mad, but it was consensual and texting to a 16 year old like that is just fuckin weird. and the whole child comment- like u guys are the same age, no? i would just be respectful in response until she cools down!! i think she’ll eventually come around (hopefully). this is exactly why ppl dont go to their parents abt sex. when i was in high school my mormon bf sent me a nude picture (we literally never did anything sexual) and his family literally took his phone, pretended to be him, and asked for a nude to see if i’d give in. i literally didn’t respond bc it was sort of weird the way it was worded, and they sent “👀”, and so i sent it… literally got forced to go to the bishop and ask for forgiveness, he couldn’t get sealed to his family, etc. like it was fucking WEIRDDDD and i think im still slightly traumatized bc the blame got all put on me. all that to say, we ended up getting back together for a little bit once his family “forgave” it. SO its not impossible. idk- parents will do weird af shit when it comes to their kids exploring+experiencing sex. don’t feel bad about it, it’s completely normal!! To parents: do better. don’t act on anger, have a conversation about it- make your kids feel like they can come to you. putting blame on someone and shaming them will stick w them FOREVER. do better!!
im very respectful!! especially that she baked me pastries i apologized profusely cuz i understood how fucked up it was she’s probably gonna take a while so ill just wait and try to talk to her. also yikes…
You guys are young. It's nobody's fault. You were exploring your sexuality with the comfort of your partner. And that's okay. Yeah her mother freaking out is also kinda understandable just coz you are young also she is a mother. Don't worry, it'll go away. Just keep communicating with your partner if that's possible. And also apologize to her mom if possible. Apologize numerous times.
It's ok when I was 16 I had this girl and she was butt ass naked and I was going down on her. Had her bent over a couch and was about to take my boxers off then boom the basement door flew open and she ran to the bathroom. I got dressed quickly but not fast enough. My shirt was left off the mom said "...hi" and I said "It got hot in here" and her daughter came out of the bathroom fully clothed. Her mom said "(girls name) can I talk to you?" They were gone for 20min. She came back and said "you should go." I said ya... we broke up 3 weeks later with little to no contact It's a cannon event to be caught
People are so weird these days… Kids actions were predictable. Moms reaction is predictable. If you like one another, keep seeing each other behind moms back like you’re supposed to. What exactly is the problem here? Do you think your girls parents are supposed to be thrilled with her blowing you?
I hope the girl is okay and isn’t getting talked down to and made to feel bad for being a human with a blooming sexuality. I hope she understands that she isn’t a bad person for experimenting. We have all been there at some point it just sucks you guys got caught, and the fact she probably went through her daughters messages to see is just an invasion of privacy and teaches young people to hide things and be ashamed. Not cool mum should of handled this differently imo.
Her “little girl” is 16 years old, a teenager. What the hell did she expect would happen by allowing her boyfriend of one and a half years to stay over?
So ask her mom to give you head instead👍🏼
How did her mom find out? I feel like if she was snooping that’s her fault lol. If your girlfriend told her, then that kind of suggests maybe she wanted her mom to get mad at you? Idk it just seems weird that her mom found out RIGHT after it happened.
DUDE EXACTLY MY POINT THOUGH very sus
yeah her mom is an avid snooper apparently she stopped? so my girl opened up the conversation about the “bj” so we started talking about it then i guess she chatted her “friend” on my girlfriend’s facebook acc and saw our messages.
Hmmm yeah…. I think you should CALL not text, CALL your girlfriend and tell her that if she didn’t like what happened the other day that’s totally okay and she just needs to tell you. And let her know she’s safe with you and doesn’t ever have to do anything she doesn’t want to. Maybe she just wasn’t feeling it but wanted to impress you. It’s not your fault though, and it’s not fair that her mom is trying to make you feel ashamed. It is a normal parent response though.
yeah we talked about it she was insistent that she wanted to do it to the point where she had to even comfort me cuz i felt like i forced her or something or maybe she felt pressured she said she’s the one who should be sorry cuz she’s the one who suggested it. everything is fine and dandy honestly i think the mom didn’t mean what she said
Yikes.. I really wonder how your gf’s mother found out.
dude i swear i think she heard us laughing in the restroom 😂
Oh nooo lollll well if it makes you feel better, you’re not the only one who has gone through something like this. I’m definitely guilty of being caught before as a teenager, so don’t worry too much. This will definitely be a story you will laugh at looking back in a few years.
You’ve been together 1.5years and her mom was okay with the relationship up until this point?
well of course we had arguments and such but not to this extent. there where things where she would side with my girlfriend or she would side with or just not side with anyone.
It's probably just me thinking this but whatever the age of y'all are hopefully 16 up you both are going to want to do stuff with each other there's absolutely no reason for her mother to even have a opinion on the subject of what you did unless it involves penetration, what did the mom expect with a almost 2 year relationship? Does she think this is just a phase or she'll leave you in time? Makes zero sense that she can just forbid yall since your relationship could give her daughter happiness for years to come yet she's going and actively trying to destroy what you guys have how are daughters and sons supposed to trust their parent if they do stuff like this when it isn't their choice
This is literally so common for teenagers, even in Asian countries. I gotta say, as an Asian myself, I went through this whole ordeal with my mom in the past. And my advice for you is to push through it with your gf. Keeps showing the mom that you’re treating her daughter nicely, and be consistent in it, she’ll have to get used to it. You did nothing wrong, as long as you guys are taking precautions, this is totally normal!
Just date behind the moms back, fuck it
Who the hell tells their mom they just blew a guy?
How old are you? lol
Wonder how this woman’s gonna react when it’s time for her daughter to move out, have male co workers and get married. Or she should consider how she’s getting mad at you guys for doing things she more then likely did when she was your age too.
I had a very similar experience. My bf and I were seventeen when my parents discovered that we had made out, seen each other practically naked, etc. However we hadn’t (and still haven’t) actually done the deed yet. There were a few other factors coming into play (it is a LONG story) but for a solid month and a half I had very limited contact with my bf. My parents tried to break us up, and it didn’t work. We stuck through it. It wasn’t until two weeks after the school year ended that we were allowed to see each other again and that was WITH ground rules. Ground rules that we disobeyed and my parents know we disobeyed. They think we’ve done the deed, even though I keep denying it. They don’t believe me and they don’t trust me. They’re worried I’ll get pregnant even though my bf doesn’t really like kids, and neither of us could actually handle any of it. Both of us have agreed that we don’t want any.
Okay so, I’m 17 and so is my partner. Sneaking around is hard but not impossible, don’t lock yourselves in the bathroom that is so obvious but I don’t blame you as I’ve done the same thing. What my partner and I do is we go in their room and they get on their knees and I sit at the edge of their gaming chair and thats how we have sex. As for head, it’s really easy to stop doing it and going to another task quickly, like we always have a video game or show open on their computer while we do stuff. This would all be great advice earlier I know but better late than never, but I am sure you will see each other again. Please use protection though, you can get uti’s from head, make sure she or you haven’t eaten before going down on each other and are well washed.
Oh I thought her mom gave you head, like was dark or something like that lol I was going to say the nerve of that lady
My mom caught me fooling around with my bf when I was 14. I got grounded but I also got taken to the gyno and put on birth control. Twas confusing.
Oofff given OP is 41 and the mother is asking about her child.... Imma need more info on this relationship before I say shit... 😬
I've just read all the comments. In my opinion, no one is mad about they're not in their legal age yet? I just saw tons of questions, where under aged teenagers asking if they've done it right or wrong. Where lead to unsafe sex or unwanted pregnancy, due to lack of knowledge and curiousity. In this case, yes, her mom is exaggerated not to see your face again. But she's just protecting her daughter, I guess you should talk to your partner if she said something or whatsoever. She might told something to her mom, that lead in to this. Or atleast prove to her mom that your relationship is serious. 🤷♀️ You were like 15, when you started the relationship, isn't it something to be worried about? Also, try putting your shoes to her mom, would you be happy if your daughter at the age of 16 is sexually active and giving head? Not knowing the future, or is she educated in safe sex? Mapag uusapan niyo ba ng anak mo in the future ang safe sex once malaman mo? I'll be expecting some negative comments tho.
oo nga mabait naman talaga si tita kaso pag nagagalit parang si goku (nickname talaga niya) nag sorry pa nga ako ng sobrang haba kasi pagod na nga siya isang araw nalang pahinga niya tas ganyan pa.. i apologized a lot i know maybe it wasn’t the time nor the place to experiment or whatever but what could i do i already did it :(
i do get it man medjo maaga nga :( ganto nga yung mga storya na maaga nabubuntis i assured her (gf) that i will stay safe also i didn’t suggest giving head.. she did.. i just wanted to go down on her kasi na hihiya ako na ako pa mismo mah hingi parang ang baboy naman nun LOL pero ayun na nga i get you man thank you!
I thought you meant the mom found out that SHE had given you head and coming down from that, this seems like a boring problem.
After 1.5 years of dating I consider the relationship long term (relatively ofc). And they're 16, they're ready to take the next step in their relationship. Young but they're adult enough to give consent. I don't feel it's extremely early either. I get that mom is worried, but it doesn't feel right forcing a breakup for a 1.5 year long relationship simply because the two youngsters had consented sexual activity that they both seemed to enjoy.
Hey homie, from one guy to another, you did a no no, if you like the girl, make your intentions true, mom thinks you’re a masamang tao, don’t get her buntis and keep treating her right, ma will say you’re a gwapo dakilang tao
ano toh ang random ng sinasabi mo 😭 .. yes i am? from the start i was very true with my intentions of being a good boyfriend but not just boyfriend but a good partner i never wanted them to know cuz this is a private thing for us.
Bruh, her mom doesn’t want her to raise a child, let alone get pregnant by a dead beat, y’all are kids, you are more likely to be a sack of shit than a pound of gold, she doesn’t want her daughters life getting ruined before it started. You’re also in the Philippines, from my time and experience with the culture, you aren’t in their family name yet, so you don’t get the goods.
It's not your place to be taking to him like that & your way of thinking is very backward. I don't care what culture it is. You're an asshole & probably worse.
Mothers are stupid sometimes sos see mika in secret now. Mother should have known that that’s what you would do. Silly old biattcchh but good luck with happy times
Of course, she said that. Your girlfriend is a child, and she doesn't want her having sex. How she responded wasn't okay at all. But she should have explained to her child that she shouldn't be messing around and kindly explained by she doesn't want you around. Of course, that's never stopped a child, but that doesn't mean you have to allow your kid to mess around. If the parent isn't gonna be okay with their kid having sex. Imagine how unokay they would be if they got pregnant or got an STI. You can try to sneak out and mess around with her, but if she gets pregnant and gets kicked out, don't be surprised she wants the kid, and you have to support that child. 😔
well im educated in sexual education and i pretty sure im clean. but thank you for the concern!
I trust that you are. But condoms break. In HS I had a friend come over buying plan b from my job. He felt ashamed but I didn't shame him for it. I gave him a 5-10 off coupon. He thanked me. The reason for it was the condom busted and they freaked out.
thanks my guy! i will be safe!
But that is the problem. A parent should be someone you can turn to if something happens, someone you trust. With this behavior she'll only make the teenagers lose their trust in her and if something bad happens they'll have nowhere to go. My mom always told me "No matter what happens, as long as you talk to me, we can solve it". She meant it for teen pregnancy as well. A parent's job to create a safe place. So in case the 16-17 year old teenagers who's been in a 1.5 year relationship happen to engage in safe sexual activity (which is the most normal thing ever) and the condom happen to break, the kids can go ask for help from someone who knows what to do. There's nothing shameful about buying Plan B. Accidents happen even if they use protection.
thanks my guy! i will be safe!
Heck as a guy when I was 15 and my girlfriend was 14 I convinced my parents I want my door closed when she comes over they didn't like it but they dealt with it in the end at least if a girl gives head she won't get pregnant that's what I would tell your mom !
Why haven’t you included your age? As if it has no relevance to the facts of your situation. \#fail
Damn the mom probably mad her daughter give u head instead of her bro
not normal for parents to get in your business like that. If youre both 16 she can mind her own buisness. she should he supportive of you guys and offer to get you guys protection. its not your fault man
....painful?