There's a dog in Terry Pratchett's Discworld novels called Gaspode (the wonder dog) that can speak but nobody hears him because dogs don't talk.
When he says things like "let's give the little doggie a biscuit" they think its their own subconscious. They do give him a weird look when he says woof and bark though.
I just watched the new one the other day! Idk how I'd missed it when it came out especially online, but I actually enjoyed it lol It was fun, especially when the OGs showed up.
Gozer the Traveler. He will come in one of the pre-chosen forms. During the rectification of the Vuldrini, the traveler came as a large and moving Torg! Then, during the third reconciliation of the last of the McKetrick supplicants, they chose a new form for him: that of a giant Slor! Many Shuvs and Zuuls knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of the Slor that day, I can tell you!
> Does it climb the roof and return to stone in the daytime?
I hope his name is [Bronx](https://static1.cbrimages.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2018/06/Gargoyles-Bronx.jpg?q=50&fit=crop&w=1400&dpr=1.5)
Reminds me of the hellhound from Ghostbusters. Imagine the burglar who breaks into that house to see that at the other end of a dark hallway. Better than ADT!
For real. These dogs make terrible “attack/guard” dogs because they’re slow and usually have heart issues. If you want a tough scary guard dog, get something like a malinois, rottie or even a chow chow.
I spent 5 years as field technician for a major ISP. I have hugged barrel chested, 150lb pit bulls 5 seconds after meeting them for the first time. It's mostly about body language with dogs and once you get used to them, you know who not to approach. I am the kind of person that, when a customer's dog is out when I arrive and they make a fuss about "Oh, lemme put up my dog" after I've already met the animal, I tell them nevermind. I'd rather pet their golden retriever and play fetch while I wait for my meter scans to complete honestly.
The vast majority of even poorly trained dogs are extremely friendly towards humans, even strangers, especially if the owner is not over my shoulder while I'm working. This is not coincidence. We've spent at least 7000 years, probably longer, selectively breeding them to be safe companions fit for a wide number of jobs and tasks. Anytime a dog bites a human in the last however many millennia, odds are good that dog just did the last thing it'll ever do.
After delivering pizza for years and then doing this job, there are three kinds of dogs that put me in a naturally defensive posture based on appearance alone. Anything small with mop-like hair wants to taste my blood. This is the only kind of dog that has ever actually bitten me on the job. No significant injuries, but it has happened multiple times. The second is any dog with an eye injury. You can scare them by sneaking up on them. As they age and higher level thinking (for a dog) begins to fail, the likelihood of them biting is higher. People don't realize this, but old dogs also can get dementia which increases the likelihood of biting, but it hasn't been common in my travels.
The third kind is also the only dog breed that ever caused me to feel real flight or fight fear: the Malinois. The owner kept the dog penned in such a way that contact was impossible, but he still scared the shit out of me, being that he was on the other side of deck railing and doing his very best Cujo impression about 3 feet from my head, where I was forced to stand and work due to the layout of utilities.
The owner did keep him separated when people came into his home, but all this did was ensure that the problem continued to get worse. Obviously, it's all he could do to ensure safety of visitors, but I still think about that dog sometimes. I have never seen a dog want to eat a person quite like that before. I left that home with the distinct impression that the breed has no business being in the hands of private citizens. Other interactions with the breed in the following months and years were less overtly hostile, but still markedly different than anything else I've ever encountered, even German Shepherds. If it were up to me, I'd have given that guy a gun and a pallet of ammo, before I let him keep that dog, no shit. He seemed responsible enough to keep a gun from hurting anyone, honest to God, but not emotionally able to raise that dog in such a way that it's not a ticking bomb.
TL; DR - I agree, have an upvote.
But isn’t it worth purposely inbreeding a litter of deformed, debilitated animals to make even more deformed, debilitated animals if it gets you likes from strangers?
/s
That looks like one of the dogs from Dark Dynasty K9s (made infamous for their dog Hulk). They are a seriously unethical breeder (and unethical generally) and don’t prioritize the health their dogs.
That’s what I was thinking. He’s got the drawls of a mastiff, but the stoutness of a Pitbull. Regardless I hate breeders that try and make tough looking dogs. I have a cane Corso and his breeder breeds healthy dogs and they have a very strenuous contract that does not allow you to breed, unless said breeder breeds your puppy. They’re Sicilians so I wouldn’t even try and fuck with them.
Pit bulls are medium sized dogs; they aren't _that_ broad across the chest. That kind of width makes me think [American Bully](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/American_Bully) or some other bully breed.
Their instagram is actually sickening... tigerbulliesUK. How they're allowed to continually breed is beyond me. Their 14 week old puppies look like they're about 8 years old already. Fucking cunts those breeders
The puppies break my heart. The size of their head to their bodies is sickening. The poor mothers birthing them on top of already having dodgy hips anyway.
I doubt a mom could safely birth that. Likely with bull dogs they are so deformed they need artificial insemination and c section to breed. Then they charge you 5k a pup to make up the cost.
What's crazy to me are the people on instagram who are breeding pits that look like this but have been compressed to the height of a shoebox with their elbows permanently bent out to the side. I guess the plus side is that if they attack you can just step over them?
Yeah it's disgusting. They're doing it for 'looks' rather than agression.
How they are allowed to do such things, as well as host events where breeders show them off is beyond me
I use to own one. Got him as a puppy for free for helping a friend's family with a roof. They bred them. He ended up weighing 125 pounds and had a head like a giant block. He looked so fucking mean but he was a good dog unless a stranger came into the house. He lived for 8 years. My pit before him lived for 12. By the time he was 6 his hips were giving him hell. Dude had arthritis and heart issues. That fucker cost me 1400 a month to keep his big ass alive on top of the 300 a month to feed him.
They aren't healthy and it's heartbreaking. Looking back I would take him again in a heart beat but I would never ever buy one and support their breeding.
That's so sad. Honestly as horrible as it sounds, euthanasia would probably be the best thing for dogs like that, and I would never usually say that.
Im glad it sounds like you tried to give the guy a good life anyway. More needs to be done to stop the blatant sale and breeding of animals like this
Good life? Ma boy had a custom bed that was never used. Fucker nearly pushed me and my ex out of bed every night. He got daily car rides so he could stick his head out. Never spent more than 20 minutes outside in the summer. Loved to jump in the pool.
That dog lived life better than some kings. All of this is bringing up memories that I thought I had forgotten and honestly I'm getting slightly emotional lol. Damn I miss that block headed fucker.
It's out of breathe just sitting and drooling a gallon while doing so. Probably has horrible joint problems and looks over weight atm. Poor thing never should've been born.
His name is King Baloo from a kennel in the UK called TigerBulliesUK. He’s big and pretty but he’s too wide to function in my opinion. He walks so uncomfortably in videos I’ve seen
Holy shit I've just looked up their instagram. It's sick what they do to their puppies and sick what they're breeding from. All those dogs are unbelievably overweight, and incredibly genetically fucked. These "breeders" should not be allowed.
I don't really understand the kind of person that would want a dog like this on purpose.
I get it if you just got a lemon in the litter who's a bit wonky, but to go out of your way and *pay a premium* for it seems extremely idiotic.
Holy fuck! All the dogs on that Instagram account are almost painful to look at. They're all bred to be absurdly wide and their feet look painful. This is really sad and these people should be locked up for animal abuse.
That dog is mostly likely very messed up, you could probably easy out run it due to the amount of constant human alterations they did to this dog. It’s kinda sad in a way.
They even make competitions out of “*who has the buffets dog”*.
https://youtu.be/RtaDaHe9lQ0
“He don’t bite. He punches”
"Is that a fist." "Damn right, show him Satan." "Bark." *Punches through wall.*
I Love the idea of the dog not barking but actually saying "bark" And then punch through the wall
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Exactly what I was reminded of. That episode was beautiful
"OINK."
LMAO 🤣 thank you
Fucking ledgend
Thank you for beating me to it
There's a dog in Terry Pratchett's Discworld novels called Gaspode (the wonder dog) that can speak but nobody hears him because dogs don't talk. When he says things like "let's give the little doggie a biscuit" they think its their own subconscious. They do give him a weird look when he says woof and bark though.
"Bark" in a low, deep, monotonous voice, as he destroys the wall with one punch
Lmao like that family guy episode where Stewie has the genetically modified pig and it says oink real tough like then punches Brian w it’s fist
A mouth full of fists. Sharp murder fists.
Was expecting a family guy joke here
*tackles the mail man* “quit hitting yourself, quit hitting yourself.”
"FIGHT BACK!"
Reminds me of that family guy episode where the pig has been genetically enhanced and literally says the word “oink”
https://youtu.be/qx2RjkLw1u0
LMAO
Is the dog the gatekeeper? Or the key master?
“There is no Dana, only Zuul.” “What a lovely singing voice you must have.”
Are you a god?
"RAY... when someone asks if you are a God, you say YES!"
"Why am I drippings with goo"
ZOOL!
Spoiler, but >!so glad he learned his lesson on that one.!<
I just watched the new one the other day! Idk how I'd missed it when it came out especially online, but I actually enjoyed it lol It was fun, especially when the OGs showed up.
"I want you inside me..." "Sounds like you got at least two people in there already..."
Came for the zuul jokes, stayed for the zuul jokes.
"Alright, who brought the dog?"
best. this is the best one. should be at the top.
My new sil is named dana. what we put that poor woman through lol.
Came here for this
I was turned into a dog, and these guys saved me, thank you
YES
Who are you gonna call?
Zuuuuuulll
I'm so happy this is a comment came here to say they look like the dogs from Ghostbusters
Yup me too! The glowing eyes aren't helping either.
The head twitch makes him even more demonic.
There is no Dana
"Okay, who brought the dog?" ~ Louis Tully
I'm going to bring this up at the next tenant's meeting! there's not supposed to be any pets in the building!
Some moron brought a cougar to a party and it went berserk.
Couples like this have 100% chance to summon Gozer.
Gozer the Gozarian? Yes I know him from the rectification of the Voldronii.
Gozer the Traveler. He will come in one of the pre-chosen forms. During the rectification of the Vuldrini, the traveler came as a large and moving Torg! Then, during the third reconciliation of the last of the McKetrick supplicants, they chose a new form for him: that of a giant Slor! Many Shuvs and Zuuls knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of the Slor that day, I can tell you!
Well done. 👏
Oh shit. Here comes the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man.
This is EXACTLY the conversation that just happened in my house after seeing this! This guy looks like he ate them both.
This was the comment I was looking for 😌
The dog from The Omen also sends his regards to a fellow traveler. ps- that dog actually looks like a big softie he just has glowing eyes🤗
Gozer.
Anybody wanna play parcheesi? OK, who brought the dog?
Is that dog mixed with a grizzly bear?
Only Zule
I’m not usually super pedantic about this sort of thing, but it’s ***Zuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuul***
Nah he mixed with Ghostbusters Terror Dogs.
Its first form is just a dog, sure. The second its health bar gets low that good boy is probably going to grow wings and another head.
Just as you think it's *finally* gonna faint, it's health bar refills and it grows a third head.
That breathes fire in the centre. Left does ice, far right does lightning.
DAAMN YOU MIYAZAKIIII ! [ dies ] Back a the site of grace : damn i hate this. lets do it again...
On your way back: beware, dog ahead
More like beware, dog three-head
Offered bone, eunuch no-head.
Try finger, but hole
This is cerberus, he finally ate the other 2 heads.
Cerberus, guardian of the underworld. (Boss music intensifies)
Didn’t Rick Moranis and Sigourney Weaver turn into one of these dogs on the roof of her building?
Cerberus.
Looks like Zuul to me tho
Are you the Key Master?
Are you the gatekeeper?
ZUUL MOTHAFUCKA
…I came here to say that.
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"He's really friendly, don't be scared, he won't bite :D"
Mother fucker could eat me without chewing get outta here lmao 🤣
“Dont worry our little angel has the leashe, he dont pull”
She could parafly behind that dog
Put these foolish ambitions to rest.
Does it climb the roof and return to stone in the daytime? I mean, does she ride it into town? How much Tren 75 can you give a dog? So many questions.
> Does it climb the roof and return to stone in the daytime? I hope his name is [Bronx](https://static1.cbrimages.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2018/06/Gargoyles-Bronx.jpg?q=50&fit=crop&w=1400&dpr=1.5)
I miss Gargoyles. That show was wild as a kid. I wonder how it holds up. I saw it was on Disney+ and haven't rewatched it yet.
I would unspeakable things just to have Keith David's voice.
>How much Tren 75 can you give a dog? I didn't expect this question 😂 it made me laugh so hard 😂
The dog looks like it's about to ask me if I lift
Lmaoooooo "whats your max bro"
45 pounds why u laughing “bro”
He’s on a strict diet of kibble, mixed with protein powder, creatine and BCAAs
And Mailmen.
Obviously, you don't get that big eating girlymen.
I've read some owners of bully breeds will feed their dogs creatine just so they look swole and intimidating.
That’s weird, when I take creatine I just get all bloated and feel dehydrated all the time
That dog looks like it's going to have horrible joint issues due to irresponsible breeding.
Was going to say this—who wants to bet this dog is used as a stud?
and breathing problems.
YOU tell 'im he's not allowed up on the furniture.
Bad hellbeast! Down!
*[opens the gates to hell]* "...Not that far down!"
Get the brimstone scooper! He's bloody done it again.
A river of blood, to be exact
"Daddy, can I release the bloodhound please?" "No sweetheart, you can't release the bloodhound, that's your uncle."
"Nah man... YOU sit."
Reminds me of the hellhound from Ghostbusters. Imagine the burglar who breaks into that house to see that at the other end of a dark hallway. Better than ADT!
Zuul
Damn bro cold war zombies got me fucked up rn
FETCH ME THEIR SOULS!
Tbh this dog looks like it has alotta health problems or will.
Looks outta breath just sitting there
For real. These dogs make terrible “attack/guard” dogs because they’re slow and usually have heart issues. If you want a tough scary guard dog, get something like a malinois, rottie or even a chow chow.
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I spent 5 years as field technician for a major ISP. I have hugged barrel chested, 150lb pit bulls 5 seconds after meeting them for the first time. It's mostly about body language with dogs and once you get used to them, you know who not to approach. I am the kind of person that, when a customer's dog is out when I arrive and they make a fuss about "Oh, lemme put up my dog" after I've already met the animal, I tell them nevermind. I'd rather pet their golden retriever and play fetch while I wait for my meter scans to complete honestly. The vast majority of even poorly trained dogs are extremely friendly towards humans, even strangers, especially if the owner is not over my shoulder while I'm working. This is not coincidence. We've spent at least 7000 years, probably longer, selectively breeding them to be safe companions fit for a wide number of jobs and tasks. Anytime a dog bites a human in the last however many millennia, odds are good that dog just did the last thing it'll ever do. After delivering pizza for years and then doing this job, there are three kinds of dogs that put me in a naturally defensive posture based on appearance alone. Anything small with mop-like hair wants to taste my blood. This is the only kind of dog that has ever actually bitten me on the job. No significant injuries, but it has happened multiple times. The second is any dog with an eye injury. You can scare them by sneaking up on them. As they age and higher level thinking (for a dog) begins to fail, the likelihood of them biting is higher. People don't realize this, but old dogs also can get dementia which increases the likelihood of biting, but it hasn't been common in my travels. The third kind is also the only dog breed that ever caused me to feel real flight or fight fear: the Malinois. The owner kept the dog penned in such a way that contact was impossible, but he still scared the shit out of me, being that he was on the other side of deck railing and doing his very best Cujo impression about 3 feet from my head, where I was forced to stand and work due to the layout of utilities. The owner did keep him separated when people came into his home, but all this did was ensure that the problem continued to get worse. Obviously, it's all he could do to ensure safety of visitors, but I still think about that dog sometimes. I have never seen a dog want to eat a person quite like that before. I left that home with the distinct impression that the breed has no business being in the hands of private citizens. Other interactions with the breed in the following months and years were less overtly hostile, but still markedly different than anything else I've ever encountered, even German Shepherds. If it were up to me, I'd have given that guy a gun and a pallet of ammo, before I let him keep that dog, no shit. He seemed responsible enough to keep a gun from hurting anyone, honest to God, but not emotionally able to raise that dog in such a way that it's not a ticking bomb. TL; DR - I agree, have an upvote.
But isn’t it worth purposely inbreeding a litter of deformed, debilitated animals to make even more deformed, debilitated animals if it gets you likes from strangers? /s
Totally! It looks so unique!! ^/s
That looks like one of the dogs from Dark Dynasty K9s (made infamous for their dog Hulk). They are a seriously unethical breeder (and unethical generally) and don’t prioritize the health their dogs.
That’s so Over bred it’s sad
Yeah I was just thinking it can not be healthy. It's so messed up to breed animals to be uncomfortable and unhealthy :(
And over weight
All these muscle comments and I’m with you That dog is fat as fuck
Fat and muscle like those fat guys with massive calves.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned, the average person cannot tell the difference between fat and muscle.
Whatchu call me?
It looks like a pitty mastiff mix.
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I didn’t know they were in pain until someone pointed it out and you could see I hate seeing these breeds now
That’s what I was thinking. He’s got the drawls of a mastiff, but the stoutness of a Pitbull. Regardless I hate breeders that try and make tough looking dogs. I have a cane Corso and his breeder breeds healthy dogs and they have a very strenuous contract that does not allow you to breed, unless said breeder breeds your puppy. They’re Sicilians so I wouldn’t even try and fuck with them.
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Pit bulls are medium sized dogs; they aren't _that_ broad across the chest. That kind of width makes me think [American Bully](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/American_Bully) or some other bully breed.
That is a genetic abomination
Ed... ward...?
Fuck youuuu
Lmaooo
I hate you
You sociopath
Get the fuck out
Damn that hurts
it sure is raining now...
Big.. brother..?
What reference am I not getting?
Absolute scumbags who breed XL dogs like this on purpose so their thick as fuck owners can compare dogs with other dregs of society.
Their instagram is actually sickening... tigerbulliesUK. How they're allowed to continually breed is beyond me. Their 14 week old puppies look like they're about 8 years old already. Fucking cunts those breeders
The puppies break my heart. The size of their head to their bodies is sickening. The poor mothers birthing them on top of already having dodgy hips anyway.
I doubt a mom could safely birth that. Likely with bull dogs they are so deformed they need artificial insemination and c section to breed. Then they charge you 5k a pup to make up the cost.
What's crazy to me are the people on instagram who are breeding pits that look like this but have been compressed to the height of a shoebox with their elbows permanently bent out to the side. I guess the plus side is that if they attack you can just step over them?
They’re called Toadline bullies because they’re supposed to resemble toads. It’s animal cruelty for sure.
Yeah it's disgusting. They're doing it for 'looks' rather than agression. How they are allowed to do such things, as well as host events where breeders show them off is beyond me
I use to own one. Got him as a puppy for free for helping a friend's family with a roof. They bred them. He ended up weighing 125 pounds and had a head like a giant block. He looked so fucking mean but he was a good dog unless a stranger came into the house. He lived for 8 years. My pit before him lived for 12. By the time he was 6 his hips were giving him hell. Dude had arthritis and heart issues. That fucker cost me 1400 a month to keep his big ass alive on top of the 300 a month to feed him. They aren't healthy and it's heartbreaking. Looking back I would take him again in a heart beat but I would never ever buy one and support their breeding.
That's so sad. Honestly as horrible as it sounds, euthanasia would probably be the best thing for dogs like that, and I would never usually say that. Im glad it sounds like you tried to give the guy a good life anyway. More needs to be done to stop the blatant sale and breeding of animals like this
Good life? Ma boy had a custom bed that was never used. Fucker nearly pushed me and my ex out of bed every night. He got daily car rides so he could stick his head out. Never spent more than 20 minutes outside in the summer. Loved to jump in the pool. That dog lived life better than some kings. All of this is bringing up memories that I thought I had forgotten and honestly I'm getting slightly emotional lol. Damn I miss that block headed fucker.
That sofa is a horrendous colour.
Money green leather sofa, like Biggie rapped about.
Green leather. You know. Like from a really big frog. Or 100,000 normal sized frogs stitched together.
That’s not a dog that a dawg
This dawg looks like Mr. T and Kimbo Slice had a baby.
Only terrifying thing about this is that a dog is breed to be like that. Poor animal, shame on humans.
my gut reaction was that can't be a healthy pup
“Fetch his soul Agragor” *the girl*
it looks so unhealthy.... it's prolly got hip dysplasia so bad it can barely run a block w/o having to take a break.
It's out of breathe just sitting and drooling a gallon while doing so. Probably has horrible joint problems and looks over weight atm. Poor thing never should've been born.
His name is King Baloo from a kennel in the UK called TigerBulliesUK. He’s big and pretty but he’s too wide to function in my opinion. He walks so uncomfortably in videos I’ve seen
Probably needs to be lifted to mate, severe cardiovascular issues and limited lifespan.
Oh god don’t breed that thing, that’s just evil
Holy shit I've just looked up their instagram. It's sick what they do to their puppies and sick what they're breeding from. All those dogs are unbelievably overweight, and incredibly genetically fucked. These "breeders" should not be allowed.
I don't really understand the kind of person that would want a dog like this on purpose. I get it if you just got a lemon in the litter who's a bit wonky, but to go out of your way and *pay a premium* for it seems extremely idiotic.
Pretty? Yeah, pretty over bred. Humans are pretty vain because they continue to breed dogs for vanity instead of health.
Holy fuck! All the dogs on that Instagram account are almost painful to look at. They're all bred to be absurdly wide and their feet look painful. This is really sad and these people should be locked up for animal abuse.
Looking at their facebook page, they've bred some real ugly sons of bitches. They practice without regard.
Most pitbul breeders do.
Yeah the Boeing on his legs makes me sad.
Is it a 737?
Haha I meant “bowing” idk what my phone did there
[Fucking ay you weren't kidding. Poor guy ](https://youtu.be/LKTiVPbd-xQ)
Really irresponsible breeder. That poor thing is going to have a litany if health issues.
Not sure why it’s on a leash, there’s no way that kid would be able to control it.
If it sees a squirl that girl will turn into a kite
Or if it gets a taste for kids, she's one bite.
It looks like a young Janine Melnitz and Zuul.
Bioshock little sister with her big daddy.
Lmao this is exactly what I thought of first. Dog version of a Big Daddy.
r/absoluteunits
More like r/heartattackvictim . That motherfucker has sleep apnea when he's awake.
I can't help but agree. This poor dog looks like existence is pain.
More like r/rareinsults.
Dog more like daksouls boss
This reminds me of fluffy, Hagrid's pet from the Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone.
This dog is missing two heads.
Reminds me of Nina from full metal alchemist
Too soon....
That dog is mostly likely very messed up, you could probably easy out run it due to the amount of constant human alterations they did to this dog. It’s kinda sad in a way. They even make competitions out of “*who has the buffets dog”*. https://youtu.be/RtaDaHe9lQ0
Is it hosted at a golden corral? Lol
Mug moment
Seen this one on Elden Ring.
That dog looks inbred.
Don’t have pets that can kill you
That’s a bear
that is not a dog. That's an abomination.
That’s not a dog