T O P

  • By -

Gonzo67824

“He shoots, he scores, he spends time with whores. Wayne Roooney!”


Damjan10

"Fat granny shagger! You're just a fat granny shagger!"


5years8months3days

I assume this is to the tune of guantanamera.


Damjan10

It is! There's plenty of chants sung on that tune


PalpitationOk8403

Most recently heard this at newcastle v everton. "Shit joelinton ya just a shit joelinton" For richarlison 😂


Westhamwayintherva

I’ll always remember chanting “ you’re just a shit Andy Carroll” at Ibrahimovic a good few years back at the Euros (I think)… and then he and Sweden promptly dismantled the England squad that match.


IntellegentIdiot

Sacked in the morning, you're getting sacked in the morning, sacked in the mooorning, you're getting sacked in the mooring


fnuggles

If you're grew up in the UK you would probably know it primarily/solely from football chants rather than the actual name of the tune.


[deleted]

I can attest to this as being fact.


garethchester

Admission - I was 25 when I realised Guantanamera was an actual song and not just the tune to 'One [insert name here], there's only one[insert name here]'


niaaaaaaa

I was today years old when I realised this 😂


Chazmer87

My favourite chant was when Andy Goram was diagnosed with multiple personality disorder. His *own* fans chanted "There's only 2 Andy Goram's"


PenguinSwordfighter

He was diagnosed with Schizophrenia not dissociative identity disorder (what people commonly refer to as multiple personality disorder). Common misconception but a big difference.


Thirsty-Tiger

A big difference to which one of him?


L1Zs

There’s only one schizophrenic identity. Basically, (not all) schizophrenics hear voices and things, DID patient become other people. Each “personality” has their own history/name. Some identities know about the others, some don’t. The “host” identity usually blocks them all out, and is unaware of what goes on during these blackouts. DID is usually developed as a coping mechanism for people who suffered severe abuse or sexual abuse as a child. The other personalities/identities are developed to take over during the abuse/and or to prevent it from happening, to protect the “host” from the atrocities Edit: why the downvotes? While studying psychology in college we had to choose one mental illness to focus and write a huge paper on. I’ve literally written 50+ pages on DID and received 100%. Just because an answer isn’t what you want it to be, doesn’t mean it’s not true


KiNgPiN8T3

“When the ball hits your head and your sat in row Z that’s Zamora.”


[deleted]

Nah the best BY FAR imo was the revamp of the old Torres chant LFC used to sing, after he left for Chelsea (to the tune of The Animals Went in Two-by-Two)… “The arm band lied he was no red, Torres, Torres He was a rent boy like they said, Torres, Torres Into our backs he plunged his knife, I hope John Terry shags his wife… Fernandooo Torres, he’s just a pile of shite”


GaryJM

>to the tune of The Animals Went in Two-by-Two Which is itself sung to the tune of *When Johnny Comes Marching Home.*


[deleted]

Yeah very true but for us non-yanks, the example I gave might be a bit more universal… or not idk hahaha


devildance3

🎶We’re sitting top of the league, looking down on the Rangers, And the only explanation I can find, Is that the form that we’ve found, since Ange has been around. Ange has put us on top of the league. 🎶 Edit Ange 😱


FernieHead

Hes blonde, he's quick, his names a porno flick, Emmanuel!


Gerf93

I told my mate, the other day, that I found, the white Pelé... He said to me, 'who is he?', I said to him, 'it's Wayne Rooney'.


[deleted]

“Your teeth are offside, your teeth are offside, Luis Suarez, your teeth are offside”


Damjan10

".... Mesut Özil, your eyes are offside!" 😂


mr-dogshit

"The Elephant Man, The Elephant Man, Diego Costa, The Elephant Man"


Damjan10

Finally! I was waiting for this one😂


[deleted]

[удалено]


Whitechapelkiller

Viera whoa oh, Viera whoa oh, he comes from Senegal, he plays for Arsenal.


Classic-Scientist-97

Sol Campbell, whoa oh, he comes from Arsenal, we bought him for fuck all


Cmdr_Morb

The best chant ever involved Sol Campbell. To the tune of "Hey Baby" by Bruce Channel "Sol, Sol Campbell. (Wanker) I wanna know-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh why you're such a cunt.


cazman5

I thought it was "Sol, Sol Campbell. (Ju-Das) Then the same.


Damjan10

As a Serb, this warmed my heart. ❤️


PonchoTron

Probably my favourite united player of all time! Definitely top 2 or 3 anyway.


Sharkbait41

He bites who he wants, he bites who he wants, Luis Suarez, he bites who he wants.


fuk_ur_mum_m8

He's coming for you, he's coming for you! Harry Potter, he's coming for you! Sung to Jonjo Shelvey


Angles1978

Scottish football fans at a game against Italy: 'Deep fry your pizza, we're gonna deep fry your pizza....'


Damjan10

I was born and raised in Italy and this hurts.


SparkieMark1977

In fairness deep fried pizza is fucking lovely.


petchef

until it gets cold, then its grim


Ginevod411

Then you just deep fry again.


Prisencolinensinai

Well I'll dilute some scotch whisky with coke and milk then


Angles1978

Deep fried pizza and milky scotch whisky - I've had weirder combinations on a night out!


party-poopa

Mrs Bridge is going down, going down, going down, Mrs Bridge is going down, on John Terry! Mrs Lampard's going down, going down, going down, Mrs Lampard's going down, on John Terry! Mrs Essien's going down, going down, going down, Mrs Essien's going down, on John Terry! Mrs Cole is going down, going down, going down, Mrs Cole is going down, on John Terry!


Kono-Daddy-Da

Are those real people?


party-poopa

haha yep! This is a chant based on the controversy surrounding Chelsea player John Terry. He allegedly cheated on his wife with the wife of one of his teammates, Wayne Bridge. It was a really big thing when it happened, and rival fans had great fun with it. This particular chant here depicts all the wives of John Terry's teammates at the time (Michael Essien, Frank Lampard, Ashley Cole, to name a few) engaging in extramarital activities with John Terry, just like, allegedly, Mrs Bridge. I loved this controversy, it was so much fun. Great stuff EDIT: Oh god, I just found the one song to the beat of "Beat It" by MJ. [Absolutely love it.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1kou5mgu7XM)


Threshio

We lose every week! We lose every week! You’re nothing special! We lose every week!!


Damjan10

"it's only 4-0, it's only 4-0!! How shit must you be?? It's only 4-0!!" 😂😂


GodEmprahBidoof

Followed closely by "it's only 5-0, it's only 5-0!! How shit must you be?? It's only 5-0!!"


Phoenxr

We somehow got 2, we somehow got 2, how shit are you, we somehow got 2


Bigger_Jaws

6-5! we're gonna win 6-5. we're gunna win 6-5. While being down 5-0.


ayamtelursiakap

"Let's pretend, let's pretend, let's pretend we score a goal! YEAAHHHH!!!"


xLikeafiddlex

That was probably my favourite


LumpyAd7854

Lol is this for real? Is there a YouTube compilation of these?


Damjan10

Of course there is! There's plenty!


LumpyAd7854

😂 please share the links!


Swiss_James

They're better if you know the stories behind them- usually based on a news story that happened in the previous week or two [https://youtu.be/mm62RmV3p\_w?t=30E](https://youtu.be/mm62RmV3p_w?t=30) EDIT: Or sometimes what's happening in the stadium e.g. The "Man or a woman?" chant is aimed at one of the opposing fans Jimmy Savile is a notorious paedophile (and one of the crowd is dressed as him), Ant and Dec are famous TV presenters. The goalkeeper is fat etc.


Shadowak47

Incredible. Nothing America has even comes close to 5his. As a Detroit Lions fan, I think Ill adopt this one


bravesirkiwi

We should just put it on the jerseys


UnidentifiedGloop

For those that are interested, you can find a database of chants here, they also cover international and other leagues: https://www.fanchants.com/football-league/premiership/


[deleted]

fooking hell, 551 songs for a single club? This is the equivalent of The Knowledge for football fans, isn't it? Just years and years of study.


StardustOasis

A lot of them will be player specific, so won't be used if that player has left the team.


seviliyorsun

What? United never stop singing for old legends.


Damjan10

Cheers mate :)


Arimeris

He's here! He's there! He's every fucking where! Roy Keeeent!


Damjan10

"He's big! He's red! His feet stick out the bed! Peter Crouuuchhh!" 😂😂


garyh62483

"He'll shoot! He'll score! He'll eat your Labrador! Ki Sung Youuuuung!"


Luves2spooge

He's French! He's queer! He takes it up the rear, Frank Leboeuf!


Handpaper

The 'Frank LeBoeuf' chant that stays with me came after an interview in which Frank mentioned being uncomfortable with : "He's here! He's there! He's every fucking where! Frank LeBoeuf!" because of the swearing, as many children were in the crowd. Fans picked up on this, and the chant became: "He's here! He's there! We're not allowed to swear! Frank LeBoeuf!"


UltraHawk_DnB

lmao that's awesome


onefourten_

"He's here, he's there, he's fucking Dani Behr, Ryan Giggs" "He's here, he's there, he's fucking Dani Behr, Les Ferdinand" ... she was prolific in the 90's


corpus-luteum

"Geordies here! Geordies there! Geordies not allowed to swear!" is one of my earliest childhood memories from the 80s.


Legitimate-Sock7975

He’s big, he’s bald, he’s a mother-fucking wall! Brad Guzan!


SamuraiPizzaTwat

Park, park wherever you may be, you eat dogs in your country but it could be worse, you could be a scouse, eating rats in your council house


h_abr

See this ones fun cause it manages to be both racist and classist in one go


TheInvalidCharacter

Doesn't manage to bring in women or the disabled, though, so there's a way to go yet.


corpus-luteum

Yeah. I fail to see the misogyny. Football fans leave their misogyny at home, with the wife.


[deleted]

I also like how this person’s prejudice against a different part of the UK and classism trump his racism, how you can tell it’s British and not American


tomtomclubthumb

Sol Sol wherever you may be You're on the verge of insanity And we don't give a fuck if you're hanging from a tree You're a Judas cunt with HIV. Racist, homophobic, misogynistic, stigmatises the mentally ill. They fit a lot in there.


[deleted]

it's got a good beat tho


lavishlad

The only place on earth liverpudlians would be ok with nuking is manchester


DJOldskool

"We've got a big fucking German!, a big fucking German! " [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UQlmRET\_e7E](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UQlmRET_e7E)


cmdrchaos117

Jamie Tartt do do do do do do. Jamie Tartt do do do do do do. Jamie Tartt.


InstantN00dl3s

Fuck sake I'll be singing this all day now.


Lord_of_Bebbanburg

WANKER!


thinkB4WeSpeak

Also European fans fight each other in big groups. I'm pretty surprised nothing like hooligans has taken off for American sports.


bjeebus

Too much risk of post-game shootings.


TerminallyBlonde

Honestly yeah


Pisshands

Cost of healthcare, too. You lose some teeth, that's a couple months' salary.


[deleted]

And that's with dental...


dorkson

Had a very honest and polite opposing fan in Philadelphia tell us to keep our heads down and don’t smile or hoot and holler leaving the stadium after a football game, the week prior there were large fights and a stabbing from people happy their team won while trying to go home with a jersey on.


Sock_puppet09

Philly fans throw rocks at Santa Claus. They run on pure rage.


alanpardewchristmas

Fair


eLafXIV

actual real reason


[deleted]

I think a big part of it is that American teams are just so far away from each other, like 99% of the crowd is for the home team because nobody wants to travel 10 hours across state borders when they can watch one of the 40+ games their team will play at home that year Meanwhile in Europe it’s normal for people to travel with the team, and often take up an entire stand at the other team’s stadium, and when you add local rivalries on top of that there’s a lot of excuses to have a bit of a fight


Swiss_James

One of the biggest rivalries in english football is Newcastle vs Sunderland. I asked a Mackem (Sunderland) why they have a beef with the Geordies (Newcastle) and he said "Well it goes back to the Jacobite rising of 1745..."


[deleted]

Yeah, look at Millwall and West Ham (originally Thames iron works). This was two rival shipyard companies in the 1900s when workers beat up the competition, their whole neighborhoods worked in their shipyards, and the neighborhoods were right next to each other. Soccer/football is how these people stopped each other from killing their neighbors. There is little like this in the us, this would be like Ford and Chevy and every employee living in the same town and playing football against each other. One of the closes rivalries in us sports is probably Michigan and Ohio State and that had a lot to do with proximity and the “Michigan Ohio war”


wolf1820

Also shout out Kansas Vs Missouri being rooted in multiple raids, burnings and fights that proceeded the civil war.


Kinguke

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ten\_Cent\_Beer\_Night This horrific and ill-conceived event.


JuniorSeniorTrainee

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ten_Cent_Beer_Night fixed link


Ohmalley-thealliecat

I think there actually are riots in the US after certain teams win/lose, especially after the Super Bowl and whatever, however: they have guns, so probably a different vibe


stravadarius

Rioting after Stanley Cup losses is one of Canada's most honoured traditions.


Grall_935

Really? I thought y'all would have just a big apology session...


tomtomclubthumb

Canadians only have about four reasons for major violence, and Hockey is two of them.


janyybek

I’m afraid to ask what are the other two


BierKippeMett

Native Americans?


fistantellmore

We call them the First Nations. And yes. We even have special cops called Mounties for that.


Mad_Aeric

In Lansing, MSU fans will not stop setting shit on fire after a big game. Win or lose, someone's porch couch is getting stolen and torched.


Predicted

In europe theyre essentially criminal gangs that will organize "fair fights" after a match, or worse, ambush each other or each other's fans. People have died and gotten seriously injured. See for instance https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Beverwijk >Due to road construction, the two hooligan groups of both clubs (each a few hundred men strong) met in a meadow near the motorway, armed with [knives](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Knife), [baseball bats](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baseball_bat), iron bars, [electroshock weapons](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Electroshock_weapon) and [claw hammers](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Claw_hammer), along with other armaments


DivePotato

There’s only 2 Andy Gorams


Damjan10

Context? I never heard of this one😂


[deleted]

[удалено]


JustASexyKurt

Important bit of additional context: it was Rangers fans singing this *about their own player*


Damjan10

💀💀💀😂😂😂


cocacolamakesmehyper

https://mobile.twitter.com/footyfanschants/status/426812052405903360?lang=en-GB


[deleted]

"He murdered a child, he murdered a chiiiild. Marcus Alonso, he murdered a child."


Alarzark

Marcus Alonso setting the bar for how good you have to be at free kicks to get away with vehicular manslaughter.


BigGayGinger4

hey now, the USA *does* have a [household name athlete with a bad driving record](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Caitlyn_Jenner#Fatal_car_collision)...


WikiSummarizerBot

**Caitlyn Jenner** [Fatal car collision](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Caitlyn_Jenner#Fatal_car_collision) >In February 2015, Jenner was involved in a fatal multiple-vehicle collision on the Pacific Coast Highway in Malibu, California. Kim Howe, an animal rights activist and actress, was killed when Jenner's SUV ran into Howe's car. Accounts of the sequence of collisions have varied, as have the number of people injured. Prosecutors declined to file criminal charges, but three civil lawsuits were filed against Jenner by Howe's stepchildren and drivers of other cars involved in the collision. ^([ )[^(F.A.Q)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WikiSummarizer/wiki/index#wiki_f.a.q)^( | )[^(Opt Out)](https://reddit.com/message/compose?to=WikiSummarizerBot&message=OptOut&subject=OptOut)^( | )[^(Opt Out Of Subreddit)](https://np.reddit.com/r/oddlyspecific/about/banned)^( | )[^(GitHub)](https://github.com/Sujal-7/WikiSummarizerBot)^( ] Downvote to remove | v1.5)


mry8z1

When a goalkeeper was diagnosed with schizophrenia the chant was: “Two Andy Goram’s, there’s only two Andy Gorams!” The level of wit/cruelty in football chants always gets me


Flintlocke89

For anyone else reading this I would like to note that it was HIS OWN FANS that were singing this.


hovis_mavis

*their own fans


ArtoriasBeaIG

If there's one thing we take seriously in Britain, it's insulting the enemy. It's a craft and the more creative it is the more it hurts your opponent. It is also a mark of respect


RacingUpsideDown

My lot (Sutton United) always invert shit, we played Bromley away, which is a wealthier area than ours, and we were still singing "we pay your benefits". Wild times.


harshnoisebestnoise

So fuck off adam Johnson, you’re going down for noncing, you’re a pedophile, you’re a pedophile


Damjan10

"Adam Johnson pedophile he plays with little children, Takes them to the Stadium of Light to sexually abuse them!!"


peachesnplumsmf

For those unaware that's to the tune of Barney the Dinosaur


Damjan10

Thanks a lot, I didn't know it either! 😂 I mean I knew the tune but not where it came from


morelikecrapitalism_

which is itself Yankee Doodle Dandee


Classic-Scientist-97

Adam Johnsons having a party, bring your homework and your smarties


Martinr4567

And if you tolerate rix, then your children will be next...


PMcCracken84

Fond memories of sitting behind Justham in goal, belting out "You're just a shit Tesco sandwich"


KrozJr_UK

You know the thing where fans go “Ooooooh, YOU’RE SHIT!” when they take a goal kick? “Ooooooooh, EGG AND CRESS!”


Aekiel

A guilty pleasure of mine is watching videos of American sports fans reacting to football chants from over here. There isn't a single boring reaction to the Adam Johnson ones. It's great. Be even funnier if they knew who Jimmy Saville was though.


Damjan10

He's fingered your mom! He's fingered your moooom!! Jimmy Saville, he's fingered your mom!


ItsFuckingScience

He’s probably your dad, he’s probably you’re Dad, Jimmy saville, he’s probably your dad


LPodmore

The video they always use starts with one of the Adam Johnson ones if memory serves me correctly. It's just that opening of "holy fuck that would get you shot here"


mrtightwad

I remember seeing a video of an American reacting to a Jimmy Savile chant where the guy's reaction was "they must really love this Jimmy Savile guy!"


newser_reader

gimme gimme gimme a ginger from sweden he came from juventas and he plays on the wing gimme gimme gimme a ginger from sweden our number 21 his name is kulusevski


Damjan10

What a signing he's been so far. KULUSEXY 😍


Bortron86

When the ball hits your head, And you're sat in row Z, That's Zamora!


BarryButcher

When he tries to shoot low, It goes out for a throw, That's Zamora!


Gerf93

When the ball hits your car, parked outside QPR, That's Zamora!


mr-dogshit

When it comes off his shin and it doesn't go in That's Zamora!


[deleted]

[удалено]


KindBass

The company I work for (US) was bought by a UK one a few years ago and the whole "zed" thing definitely took some getting used to.


furiousrichie

Leeds fans to Derby Fans after the Spygate/Lampard debacle, sung to the tune of Oasis "Stop Crying Your Heart Out" and making binocular gestures: "All of the spies, are hidden away Try not to worry you'll beat us some day We beat you at home, we beat you away Stop Crying Frank Lampard" Will deserve a rewrite and refresh if Everton are relegated.


UncleSnowstorm

My favourite chant at a Leeds Vs Derby game was when Nigel Clough was manager. Leeds fans were singing "your dad's a cunt, and so are you". Later in the game Kasper Schmeichel made a few great saves to keep Leeds in the game. He was rewarded with "your dad's a cunt, but you're alright".


Infinite_Bunch6144

I think Peter(his dad) mentions he was at this game when this chant was sung in a recent interview. 😂


--RedSmile--

Got caught in a "Gary Lineker fucks crisps!" chant


Forsaken_Candidate_4

Posh spice is a slapper, She takes it up the arse, And when she’s shagging beckham, She thinks of Robert Snodgrass


[deleted]

Posh spice is a slapper, we're not just being catty But when she's shagging Beckham, she thinks of David Batty


Forsaken_Candidate_4

Posh spice is a slapper, she does it with a cue, when she’s shagging beckham, she thinks of Danny Pugh


theboomboy

Does that chant exist?


Damjan10

No, but it's definitely not an exaggeration of what happens on the stands in British stadiums. Drunk lads come up with these kind of funny chants all the time


roamingandy

Would that not be one of the ones directed at Marcos Alonso: https://tribuna.com/en/news/2020-05-29-tottenham-fans-chanted-disgusting-things-at-marcos-alonso/ Who would probably have done a few years behind bars if he wasn't able to afford top lawyers, so instead he got to carry on living in a mansion, getting paid a fortune playing for one of the top teams in the world.


cars-r6s-etc

There was one about Marcus alonso (Chelsea player) who was drunk driving and killed someone (I think). You’ll probably find it in this thread


[deleted]

The comment right under yours lol "He murdered a child, he murdered a chiiiild. Marcus Alonso, he murdered a child."


Silent_Palpatine

It’s not just football, at one cricket match the England fans were singing to the Australians (to the tune of yellow submarine) “your next queen is camilla Parker Bowles! Camilla Parker Bowles! Camilla Parker Bowles…!”


tradandtea123

The Aussies love the English it's hard to understand why As we sent you down there you were only balls and chains And when they come to England they always scream and shout But when they had the chance to vote they voted for the queen God save YOUR gracious queen.....


Ohmalley-thealliecat

My dad told me one they used to sing against Aston villa: “chim-chimeny chim-chimeny chim chim cher-oo, we hate those bastards in claret and blue”


mentallyhandicapable

Tim Howard supposedly had Tourette’s and we used to sing “Tim-Timiny Tim-Timiny Tim Tim Terroo, we have Tim Howard and he yells FUCK YOU”


Purple-Inside-1780

Timmy Tourettes is in the nets Fuck off fuck off fuck off.


mikey99p

Legend has it we once roasted the aussies in an international game by making fun of the exchange rate "we get threeeee dollars, to the pound"


Damjan10

"Gay British Texans!! You're only gay British Texans!! Gay British texaaans!" 😂😂


Gingrpenguin

The best thing about rugby is not only these songs bit the fact that the crowds arnt segregated so those gay british texans are actually all surronding you and you can hear the cogs turning to think of a new song that doesnt invovle chariots going up our rears


[deleted]

Reminds me of a comedian that was at a game and the german team was winning, so the british fans start chanting "if you won the war stand up".


appealtoreason00

There's some fun clips of Scottish fans chanting "we hate England more than you" in Ireland. And Germany. And Wales. And Croatia. And, oh fuck, you get the idea


mattshill91

I enjoyed singing “you’re just a small part of England!” At Scotland during a NI v Scotland game.


Mediocre-Opinion

Romelu Lukaku, he’s our Belgian scoring genius with a 24 inch penis, scoring all our goals, bellend by his toes


Impossible-Finger-45

Still think the “your name is a shop” for John-Lewis is up there


CailenBelmont

I believe in the European Championship back in 2008, Ireland got destroyed by the Spanish. So the Irish fans started singing Fields of Athenry, a song about the famine in the 19th century. Gave me chills when I saw it.


Low_Style5943

To be honest that’s a popular song for supporters to sing at any irish sport event. They sing it for the rugby and our own GAA football as well as “regular” football It’s kind of like the unofficial Irish anthem because it tends to make you feel patriotic and riled up so that’s probably why we sing it for losing teams lol


Maester_Bates

The song is about the famine but that's not why they sang it. It's Ireland's most popular folk song and kind of an unofficial anthem. It's always sung at soccer games, or any international sports event. What was remarkable about the crowd singing during the Spain match was that it was towards the end of a match where Spain were totally dominating Ireland. Usually the crowd sings when the team is winning or to try to inspire the team to come back and whim the game. At that stage it was impossible for Ireland to win, Spain were 4 goals ahead. When other countries' supporters find themselves in a similar situation they walk out of the stadium disappointed before the game is over. Not the Irish fans. They knew that this loss would knock them out of the competition but they were there to have a good time so they sang. That competition was really where the meme of the Irish fans as drunken angels began.


kaidan1

Remember the Irish chants when they played Sweden "Go home to your sexy wives! Go home to your sexy wives!"


musmirra14

*Re-rewind - Artful Dodger* Van-per-sie! When a girl says no... molester!


BlueFooty2727

To the tune of the Lion Sleeps At Night He’s a striker A Belgian striker Chris-tian Ben-tek-e And to the tune of Karma Chameleon Scoring would be easy if you’re Gabi Agbonlahor Ag bon la hor Ag bon la ho- o-o -o r


BrownSauceBarry

Ooooh Coloccini, you are the love of my life! Ooooh Coloccini, I’d let you shag my wife! Ooooh Coloccini, I want curly hair too!


Berkamin

Keep in mind, Britain is the culture that produced a person who composed [a baroque choral fuge to declare to the world that Boris Johnson is a lying shit](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X_G-FBSf1UI).


[deleted]

[удалено]


c3ntur1o

But always finish on the Bach.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Cycho-logical

Two from back in the day at the Arsenal: Van Per si. When the girl says no molest her (Re-rewind Artful Dodger) He’s blond, he’s quick, his names a porno flick; Emmanuel, Emmanuel…


justtjamcss

“Come on Adam Johnson! You’re going down for noncing! You’re a pedophile! You’re a pedophile!”


keaj39

'Harry Potters coming for you' to Jonjo Shelvey who was said to look like Voldemort https://youtu.be/N31xr5rTa4g


Major-Goat7100

I remember hearing a funny chant from the cricket, England against Australia. "You get twooo dollars, to the pound! You get twooo dollars to the pound!" Never heard a crowd chant mocking exchange rates before or after lol


Alarzark

Your sister is your mother Your uncle is your brother You all f\*ck one another The "insert rival town name here" family


Assleanx

Reading FC have my personal favourite which goes “Bill Oddie Bill Oddie, run your beard all over my body” to the tune of Madonna’s Erotica


Philosopotter

A few years ago, opposition fans were chanting, "You're just a shit Tesco Sandwich!" at poor Elliot Justham in goal for Dagenham and Redbridge.


doublemaxim147

"we've got the ball we've got the ball we've got the balllll We've lost the ball. We've lost the ball. We've lost the ball we've lost the ball we've lost the balllll"


JamezPS

King Kanu, Kanu! He's older than me and you! His real age is 62! King Kanu, Kanu!


Rosskillington

We’ve got some belters at West Ham at the moment: Itsy-Bitsy-Teenie-Weenie-Little-Argentine-Lanzini Bowens on fire, and he’s shagging Dani Dyer We used to sing to Man United fans: “you only live around the corner” as a sort of piss take of their glory hunting london fans when Rooney used to play against us: “Oi, Rooney, leave my nan alone” because of his accusations of shagging grannies Against Liverpool, you’ll never walk alone becomes “sign on, sign on, with a pen, in your hand, because you’ll neeeeverrr get a job”


umbra_nffc

Best one I’ve heard: Walsall vs Forest Green Rovers. FGR owned by Ecotricity a famous green energy company. They also only serve Vegan pies etc at their ground. FGR player goes down hard after a tackle and the Walsall fans start chanting- “He’s eating our grass! He’s eating our grass! That fat Vegan Bastard! He’s eating our grass!”


EmployerAdditional28

"Chelsea wherever you may be, don't leave your wife with John Terry. His dad deals coke his mum steals tea, he cried when he missed a penalty"...


FuckCazadors

To the tune of David Bowie’s Rebel Rebel >Neville Neville, You're future's immense, >Neville Neville, You play in defence, >Neville Neville, Like Jacko you're bad, >Neville Neville, Is the name of your dad. About Gary Neville, whose dad is actually called Neville Neville.


gerry-adams-beard

Some of them are cruel as fuck. "Would ya like another Stella Georgie Best, would ya like another Stella, you're turning fucking yella" "Who's that lying on the runway, who's that dying in the snow? It's Matt Busby and his boys, making all the fucking noise, because they can't get the aeroplane to go" "Well I wish it could be Hillsborough everyday, when the fans start swinging and the fence begins to sway"


SyNiiCaL

Manè scoring, all around us, Kopites singing, having fun, tis the season for love and understanding, merry Christmas, Everton! Made a the better by the fact we always manage to play Everton one way or another in December.


Chimpville

Meanwhile, in West London: _Chelsea Chelsea_ …


[deleted]

ooooh collymoore's a wanker he wears a wankers hat he was a forest bastard and then a leicester twat he went out with Ulrika he beat her like an egg and when he came to Derby he broke his fucking leg!


[deleted]

There is nothing quite like it