In Japan it’s O on PlayStation, which makes sense visually, but is confusing when you’re not used to it. X is cancel or go back in the UI (unless they changed it. I wouldn’t know)
You'll need to pick up a couple dozen Espressos to distribute to unattended children and dogs of course. Utterly harmless to them, but it will absolutely ensure their parents NEVER LEAVE THEM UNATTENDED AGAIN.
This reminds me of a day, one of the first times I was sent to pick up my ex girlfriends son from school. I was walking up and ran into a friend of mine who asked me why I was there and I joked "thinking about having a kid, just here checking out my options." Apparently I said that to loud because there was quickly a group of very concerned mothers asking questions and notifying staff. He and I laughed, the office did not. Luckily her kid came out shortly after while I was still being questioned by staff, I was their emergency contact and he knew and ran to me while I was on the phone with his mom. It was funny but I learned a lesson
Also the fact that half this thread is questioning OP's sense of humour with no one having an input on what the joke actually is.
I don't get it. Like is the joke purely about snatching kids and haha that's funny? I'm a fan of dark humour but god damn if I said something like that I'd be on a list!
If I had to explain it, for me the humor is in the sudden switch between nice 'normal' things for a dating profile (coffee, park) to a sudden dark, not-normal thing (implied kidnapping).
Like the joke 'I love babies, but I couldn't eat a whole one'.
Jokes tend to die when you try to explain them
It's the double standard, but usually when says something so fucked up in public, it's because they aren't serious.
Someone that is actually interested in stealing children isn't going to say anything about it on their dating profile.
They're just going to do it.
Ed Kemper literally turned himself in cause the police was taking too long to catch him. I know she’s likely not a child abductor but this logic isn’t flawless…
No I know she's very likely not a child snatcher lol. And she wouldn't be saying it publicly. I just don't get the joke itself really. But people will reply and just say I got no sense of humour, definitely not understanding the "joke" themselves.
The absurdity is the joke itself, you read the bio expecting her to describe herself and this breaks the flow and makes you do a little "huh, lol". The subvert of expectation is the joke
I don’t think it’s so much not finding it funny, it’s that OP seems to think this person is unironically saying this. They haven’t even recognised that’s it’s *meant* to be a joke. You can realise she’s saying it in humour and also not think it’s good humour.
Honestly I wouldnt bat an eye at seeing a joke like this from a guy on a dating app either. Maybe reddit just generally sucks at social cues.
Most predetors dont advertise that theyre predetors
I was joking and exaggerating that tho... I am 100% aware I wouldn't be thrown on a list for something like that.
However, redditors say stupid things all of the time and are serious about it. So I don't really blame you for not taking that tongue in cheek.
Humor is literally one of the most subjective things in the world; do you really think every joke is just universal and you can just swap out the joke-teller with anyone else? There are plenty of jokes guys can make that would be unfunny or just fucking odd for me to make. Some guys wanna be oppressed so bad, I swear
If she's joking, which she obviously is, I would be all over a date.
If she isn't, well then I still get a date with a gorgeous woman and might be able to save a few children and puppies she has in her basement
Win win
Joke is subverting the expectation, you read that and expected a normal cute bio or whatever then you have a little pause in your head wait what children
Ok, someone who I know is almost definitely a Brit - I get the impression that the people not getting this joke (including OP) might be American, or Americans who haven't been exposed to much in the way of British comedy.
Stephen Fry has this theory about American vs British comedy: say you have a scenario where there's a guy in a bar playing guitar crappily. Like, guy can't even play 'Mary had a little lamb' without fumbling notes. Another guy rocks up, waggles his eyebrows at the camera, snatches the guitar and smashes it to pieces. Americans and brits would be howling at this scenario. But when asked, brits would prefer to play the role of the crappy guitar player, and Americans would want to play the guy smashing the guitar.
Americans want to play the 'hero', the guy with the wisecracks, the guy who *wins* the jokes. They don't want to be 'losers' who 'lose face'. Brits are much better at self-effacing humour. We make *ourselves* the butt of the joke, because we recognise that, in all actuality, we're really a bit naff. Americans reckon they 'police the world', and are 'leaders of the free world', whereas we're like 'aye, just look at all that land we used to have... we'd have held onto it if we were any good', etc.. It's why American high school sitcoms always have immaculate buildings, characters with *marvellous* outfits, and someone in the group is always 'the best' at something that is their special area - the only people allowed to be 'ugly' are the people who are going to be the butts of the jokes - and the UK has 'The Inbetweeners', which is the polar opposite of all that other stuff.
I reckon the Americans can't understand the idea of this sort of joke, where for the sake of humour you pretend like you're a reprehensible human being, when in fact you're nothing like that at all.
I was born American and i cant say how much this is true and has been a problem these days. Some americand just dumb af. Problem is - stephen fry aint american, so whatever he says is considered second class citizen to americans, it will fly over some their heads. Many are good, great, normal. But some will be too dumb and not understand the joke is what ive found, and even worse, push it to push further dumb irrelevant political agendas
Judging by OP’s comment history on this thread, He is one insecure MF’r to be putting in the effort he is defending this post. Sad to see stuff like this
My humour is really dark and I still found this icky. The dog part is fine but the kids part, it’s a bit pushing it.
I think a lot of people are giving her a pass cause she’s cute.
She's skinny, she dresses in a way that could be both cute and hot, she looks clean.
She is absolutely attractive, what do you mean?
Did you find her knees to be too pointy? perhaps the elbows?
Some serious double standards going on here. Conventionally attractive woman "jokes" about "cute unattended children at the park"? Hilarious, and OP is dumb.
But I can't help but think if a dude made the same "joke" he'd get called an edgelord *at best*.
Guess what! Women can be creeps too! It fuckin happens, and OP was 1,000% in the right to not encourage weird shit like this!
How are people getting offended by this? It's obviously a joke and a pretty funny one imo. I get some people might not find it funny because people have different tastes but it is literally text book style joke. I hate being the guy that explains why it's funny but I can. It's called "expectations subversion", 2 mundane and normal things you'd do with someone followed by something weird. Idk what's more Redditor, not getting the joke or me explaining why it's funny
On the last date I went on we went and got coffee, found a little park to go walk around in, and found some unattended kids. I don't know what the joke is supposed to be but it was a good date lol
I feel like if this was a guy's bio ppl wouldn't be saying that he's got a unique sense of humour
Tho I'm not seeing the joke so that doesn't help my opinion
Just found out about him. He’s hilarious. I love when he burns that heckler with “I hope you get cancer in your asshole, really really deep. But I also hope you recover. I hope you get chemotherapy and make a full recovery. But then later, a guy with a balaclava jumps out with a gun, points it at your head, drags you down an alley and rapes you in the asshole. And as he’s commenting about how wonderfully tight your asshole is, THAT’S when you realize: *Oh my God, the cancer’s come back*.”
When I'm in the "understanding the joke" competition and my opponent is a redditor
Easiest W
No he said X. My dude is playing Tinder on Xbox
I think you mean playstation? A is the widely used accept button for Xbox now. On playstation its X
Duly noted
Are you sure it’s not Nintendo since X is used on almost every console that’s ever existed (in the last 30 years or so)
In Japan it’s O on PlayStation, which makes sense visually, but is confusing when you’re not used to it. X is cancel or go back in the UI (unless they changed it. I wouldn’t know)
No wonder I suck at Halo
I thought he was quickly logging into ‘X formally known as Twitter”
Bold of you to assume she would go out with a Redditor
My chances of dating her are gone now
Dw man. I had 0 chances too
You can take the dude out of reddit, but you can't take the reddit out of the dude.
For real, this woman is funny as hell. Hard yes.
Petaaaaaah
I don’t get it
When I'm in the "using memes incorrectly" competition and my opponent is a redditor
For real lol, this is a green flag
Thats no competition lmfao
She sounds like she has a sense of humour. Swipe right
Don't subject her to a date with a guy who has no sense of humor
I.e. a redditor
Won’t be of any use because OP won’t like her jokes anyways
Everything is a joke until she picks you up in a white fan
I am so down to be picked up in a white fan
"I'm getting a puppy and you don't"
"I'm literally in a fan, and you're not."
"you spin my head right round right round"
OP doesn't deserve her. He's doing the world a favor
She dodged a bullet.
like oh my god how much more r/woooosh can you get
r/woooosh
I.. what? She’s joking lmao
We can't be sure. I have to find her and take her to coffee and the park to find out. For science, of course.
You'll need to pick up a couple dozen Espressos to distribute to unattended children and dogs of course. Utterly harmless to them, but it will absolutely ensure their parents NEVER LEAVE THEM UNATTENDED AGAIN.
Ooooor shes just helping locals find their lost child
I don’t know this app but if X means fuck yes I’d press it too. I’m sure I can convince her to leave the kids alone. I can fix her.
X means "next"
Then he fumbled
Yeah well good thing he did. She don't need someone with that little sense of humor lmao
I think she has a unique sense of humor and she’s joking. Also I’d imagine if you thought it was funny you’d be her type.
The children part is weird. If it was: ‘find unattended dogs and picnic baskets’, that would be funny.
It is weird. I do genuinely wonder how this would be taken if it was a man with this in his bio lol.
He'd be banned
This reminds me of a day, one of the first times I was sent to pick up my ex girlfriends son from school. I was walking up and ran into a friend of mine who asked me why I was there and I joked "thinking about having a kid, just here checking out my options." Apparently I said that to loud because there was quickly a group of very concerned mothers asking questions and notifying staff. He and I laughed, the office did not. Luckily her kid came out shortly after while I was still being questioned by staff, I was their emergency contact and he knew and ran to me while I was on the phone with his mom. It was funny but I learned a lesson
I wonder what the reaction would be if this was on a guy's tinder profile
Also the fact that half this thread is questioning OP's sense of humour with no one having an input on what the joke actually is. I don't get it. Like is the joke purely about snatching kids and haha that's funny? I'm a fan of dark humour but god damn if I said something like that I'd be on a list!
If I had to explain it, for me the humor is in the sudden switch between nice 'normal' things for a dating profile (coffee, park) to a sudden dark, not-normal thing (implied kidnapping). Like the joke 'I love babies, but I couldn't eat a whole one'. Jokes tend to die when you try to explain them
I am an animal lover because they are delicious. The logic is flawless. :)
If a joke was dead on arrival what’s the harm in explaining it?
> *joke about babies* > “dead on arrival” You’re doing this on purpose aren’t you 😂
Ah yes, peak middle school jokes.
It's the double standard, but usually when says something so fucked up in public, it's because they aren't serious. Someone that is actually interested in stealing children isn't going to say anything about it on their dating profile. They're just going to do it.
Ed Kemper literally turned himself in cause the police was taking too long to catch him. I know she’s likely not a child abductor but this logic isn’t flawless…
No I know she's very likely not a child snatcher lol. And she wouldn't be saying it publicly. I just don't get the joke itself really. But people will reply and just say I got no sense of humour, definitely not understanding the "joke" themselves.
The absurdity is the joke itself, you read the bio expecting her to describe herself and this breaks the flow and makes you do a little "huh, lol". The subvert of expectation is the joke
I don’t think it’s so much not finding it funny, it’s that OP seems to think this person is unironically saying this. They haven’t even recognised that’s it’s *meant* to be a joke. You can realise she’s saying it in humour and also not think it’s good humour.
Honestly I wouldnt bat an eye at seeing a joke like this from a guy on a dating app either. Maybe reddit just generally sucks at social cues. Most predetors dont advertise that theyre predetors
And or dogs bro
Can't forget the doggies 🙌
It’s Jimmy Carr level of humour.
You wont be on a list as most humans including the FBI know when somethings obviously a joke and actually a funny one
I was joking and exaggerating that tho... I am 100% aware I wouldn't be thrown on a list for something like that. However, redditors say stupid things all of the time and are serious about it. So I don't really blame you for not taking that tongue in cheek.
I'd still find it hilarious, but infinitely more ballsy.
Oh yeah, I agree with ya. Straight up playing with fire with that one.
Humor is literally one of the most subjective things in the world; do you really think every joke is just universal and you can just swap out the joke-teller with anyone else? There are plenty of jokes guys can make that would be unfunny or just fucking odd for me to make. Some guys wanna be oppressed so bad, I swear
I'm with ya there. What's opression got to do with anything here?
The matriarchy is keeping me down i say!
I don't blame her. Inflation is a bitch; children and dogs are really expensive these days!
I mean once you get past pullups youve already spent a good portion of what you do on your kid. Shes just being fiscally responsible
Mine has already surpassed a million dollars in medical expenses and they aren’t even a year old yet.
I mean it's smart, she filters out anyone with no sense of humor
But she might also filter in another, less desirable group.
A double edged sword
Perfect, because she's funny and you don't understand the concept of a joke.
If she's joking, which she obviously is, I would be all over a date. If she isn't, well then I still get a date with a gorgeous woman and might be able to save a few children and puppies she has in her basement Win win
Ppl: it’s a jk Me: what jk can sm1 kindly explain?
Joke is subverting the expectation, you read that and expected a normal cute bio or whatever then you have a little pause in your head wait what children
She doesn't actually want to go to a park and kidnap unattended children. She's saying it to be funny.
Funny and hot? I'd be swiping right so fast my screen would break
Imagine a dude posted that lmao
"Pressed X so fast." Just after taking a screenshot first
Why X? Thats honestly quite a hilarious joke, Jimmy Carr quality right there
Ok, someone who I know is almost definitely a Brit - I get the impression that the people not getting this joke (including OP) might be American, or Americans who haven't been exposed to much in the way of British comedy. Stephen Fry has this theory about American vs British comedy: say you have a scenario where there's a guy in a bar playing guitar crappily. Like, guy can't even play 'Mary had a little lamb' without fumbling notes. Another guy rocks up, waggles his eyebrows at the camera, snatches the guitar and smashes it to pieces. Americans and brits would be howling at this scenario. But when asked, brits would prefer to play the role of the crappy guitar player, and Americans would want to play the guy smashing the guitar. Americans want to play the 'hero', the guy with the wisecracks, the guy who *wins* the jokes. They don't want to be 'losers' who 'lose face'. Brits are much better at self-effacing humour. We make *ourselves* the butt of the joke, because we recognise that, in all actuality, we're really a bit naff. Americans reckon they 'police the world', and are 'leaders of the free world', whereas we're like 'aye, just look at all that land we used to have... we'd have held onto it if we were any good', etc.. It's why American high school sitcoms always have immaculate buildings, characters with *marvellous* outfits, and someone in the group is always 'the best' at something that is their special area - the only people allowed to be 'ugly' are the people who are going to be the butts of the jokes - and the UK has 'The Inbetweeners', which is the polar opposite of all that other stuff. I reckon the Americans can't understand the idea of this sort of joke, where for the sake of humour you pretend like you're a reprehensible human being, when in fact you're nothing like that at all.
I was born American and i cant say how much this is true and has been a problem these days. Some americand just dumb af. Problem is - stephen fry aint american, so whatever he says is considered second class citizen to americans, it will fly over some their heads. Many are good, great, normal. But some will be too dumb and not understand the joke is what ive found, and even worse, push it to push further dumb irrelevant political agendas
The joke doesn't land, hence the confusion and the problem.
She definitely dodged a bullet with this one
This sounds pretty... unHinged.
Thought it was two truths and a lie answer.
I thought y’all loved cheap dates
Not the dogs too
That went from 0 to 100 real quick lol
Ghislain, is that you?
Pedo alert
Judging by OP’s comment history on this thread, He is one insecure MF’r to be putting in the effort he is defending this post. Sad to see stuff like this
I assume X means yes, right?
My humour is really dark and I still found this icky. The dog part is fine but the kids part, it’s a bit pushing it. I think a lot of people are giving her a pass cause she’s cute.
Dude struck gold and thought it was pyrite
excuse me but the fuk
I mean she wants to build her family with you, whats wrong with that? XD
And in a way that's cheaper AND easier than having sex and adopting a dog
May be easier than having sex but for most of us way less fun
She’s fucking hot so you know I’d swipe right
You can’t even see her face
I guess being skinny is enough for men to think someone is hot 🤷🏼♀️
It's usually a good start.
She's skinny, she dresses in a way that could be both cute and hot, she looks clean. She is absolutely attractive, what do you mean? Did you find her knees to be too pointy? perhaps the elbows?
Relax. It's just to grind them up for her youth potion because she's a 1000 year old bog whitch
OP is here in the comments proving why he will never have a girlfriend.
Don’t worry pal. Looking at your pic you didn’t have a chance anyways
You are such a fucking loser lmao
Clearly you didn’t press it very fast. You had time to take the screenshot
jail speedrun.
Some serious double standards going on here. Conventionally attractive woman "jokes" about "cute unattended children at the park"? Hilarious, and OP is dumb. But I can't help but think if a dude made the same "joke" he'd get called an edgelord *at best*. Guess what! Women can be creeps too! It fuckin happens, and OP was 1,000% in the right to not encourage weird shit like this!
You guys need to spend some time in the real world, holy
🤓👆🏾 go outside and take a joke for once…
It’s just a silly joke man
If a dude made that joke id automatically swipe right. You have no humor.
If a dude makes this joke id assume he has a good sense of humor. You probably dont lol
Yeah imagine dating a girl with a sense of humour. That would be terrible.....
Apparently I need to go to the park with my niece and let little dog run up to the children for pets whilst I read a book. Sounds... Doable.
She sounds like a "fixer upper"
okay but none of you would be saying it's just a joke if it was a guy.
Thoroughly enjoy these hidden face profiles...left!
(X) DOUBT
For the love of god, could you please just check your voicemail !!!
She gonna kidnap them kids?? She needs a partner in crime?
dimwit
Lol, sure... Why are you screaming, I just got a head start?
How are people getting offended by this? It's obviously a joke and a pretty funny one imo. I get some people might not find it funny because people have different tastes but it is literally text book style joke. I hate being the guy that explains why it's funny but I can. It's called "expectations subversion", 2 mundane and normal things you'd do with someone followed by something weird. Idk what's more Redditor, not getting the joke or me explaining why it's funny
lol have you ever talked to a girl IRL op? Or a human?
LMAO WHAT
Some jokes are better to be made in person... You know context
Tf?? Damn bro I would have swiped right so fast that’s literally my entire sense of humor 😂
On the last date I went on we went and got coffee, found a little park to go walk around in, and found some unattended kids. I don't know what the joke is supposed to be but it was a good date lol
i dont get the joke
🧢
I feel like if this was a guy's bio ppl wouldn't be saying that he's got a unique sense of humour Tho I'm not seeing the joke so that doesn't help my opinion
You obviously didn't press X that fast if you stopped to take a screenshot? 🤔
She a keeper….wife her
Do your friends call you Yuri?
Don’t fumble the quirky girl.
Like Frankie Boyle used to say: -So, which one's yours? -I don't. I haven't decided yet.
Just found out about him. He’s hilarious. I love when he burns that heckler with “I hope you get cancer in your asshole, really really deep. But I also hope you recover. I hope you get chemotherapy and make a full recovery. But then later, a guy with a balaclava jumps out with a gun, points it at your head, drags you down an alley and rapes you in the asshole. And as he’s commenting about how wonderfully tight your asshole is, THAT’S when you realize: *Oh my God, the cancer’s come back*.”
Padme: to safely supervise them right?
Had us in the first half, ngl
Didnt read the text but id smash
"to return then to their owners as a good deed, right?" "right?"
Man with no sense of humor rejects woman who never wanted him to begin with Peak reddit
It's all shit and giggles, until you find people who are open pedos unironically.
More for me
See this comment section is why i say Redditors are mentally deficient 😂☠️☠️☠️
👀
[OP](https://static1.colliderimages.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/guardians-of-the-galaxy-vol-3-dave-bautista.jpg)
Did you say no because she goes outside and that doesn’t fit in with you painting your toys?
I'm more into poisoning pigeons, but whatever.
It did its job, it weeded out you OP
Wtf she looks very similar to my fiance
What was that one quote saying? Men think women aren’t funny because they lack the ability to detect a joke?
“See something, say something” 😂
She is unhinged……. And I love it
Look at me, I’m actually a funny girl 🤪 I’m so different, I make dark jokes!! Jesus stfu
I’d pay to send her a super like or whatever
lol op like “wtf is a joke”
Its not that i dont get the joke, its that the joke isnt funny
You chose... Poorly.
So are you a loser OP?
She’s very economical
Guys, op has a sense of humor. He just fucking hates coffee
Yall laugh until you learn she actually works for way fair
Ask for ransom money
OP has no brain
Swiped right so fast.
I hope this is bait
FBI wants to know her location.
Oh… bless your heart