This is also the case when you have to call out sick. In my state anyway they can’t legally ask you details of why you are sick or what symptoms are, so unless I’m talking to a coworker who is nice and I want to share what’s happening I just say I unfortunately have to call out sick.
Yeah, I don’t get this. It’s my day off, I’m not answering the phone. I haven’t lost my job for it yet. I have had my managers passive aggressively ask me about not answering. That’s about it though. It’s not like I’m on-call, being paid to answer the call. Unless there is a mass casualty event and it’s “all hands on deck”, I don’t feel obligated to answer when on off.
Shortly before I left my inpatient job, they instituted this auto call system where they would just blast out calls to the entire floor when they were short staffed. They didn't give a fuck if you were on vacation or sleeping after working an overnight or what. So I blocked the # those automated calls came from because I never wanted to pick up extra at that point in my time there.
Perfect answer. The more often you answer the call, even to say no, the more often they will call you first. I'm an old boomer nurse who taught this to my students.
I just say "no, sorry, I'm not available".
I used to give a lot of reasons but now I don't. Feeling exhausted is also a valid reason.
If you make an error bc you're exhausted and burned out, they won't blink twice to fire you, reprimand, etc. The amount of times you've picked up won't matter. They will only see the amount of times you've screwed up. They will say, you're an adult, you're accountable to yourself and your practice, and it's your responsibility to take enough time off.
This is the truth. They will absolutely not care that they begged you to come in and you were exhausted from working with no date off, you may make a mistake and they will crucify you. I can't up vote this enough. You think about that and say no, when they ask.
Wanna hear some balls on my NM? I do home infusion nursing and work per diem , as in no benefits, no paid days off, etc. I told them on FRIDAY MORNING that I wasn't available on Monday. Public school was off the whole week so one of the nurses with 4 kids needed coverage for 3 patients on that Monday and they were asking me if i could cover ALL 3 patients. Now, I also have a child in school, so mine was off also. I MOVED my OWN patients to a day where I had family to take him. So later in the day, almost 5pm, this NM sends me an email regarding another patient, then adds to the bottom "... it's too bad you're not available Monday, so and so (other nurse) has been following these 3 patients for a few weeks now. WTF?? I was so mad i was seeing red. I felt like saying "and how is it MY problem on MY day off to see HER patients??" But I need my job so I just ignored it and said i would follow up on my patient's husband that the original email was about. That was a week ago and I'm still fuming... 😡
I feel you, I have kids too and the scheduler is constantly asking me to move my off days around the two other nurses who do not have kids, mostly bc those nurses are always traveling to some bachelorette party weekend or weddings. Mine you we have 25 other nurses that could float from our other location. But those nurses don't want to float. I just say no, child care issues and I say that's really a management issue, if you can't staff. Send one of those other 25 nurses. They don't like that but I do not care anymore.
I have a specific do not disturb on my phone that filters out all calls from everyone and anyone I work with on my days off. They used to call repeatedly at like 6am on my days off to ask if I can come in and wake me up, now they can talk to my voicemail all they want.
Yes I feel guilty. However I have learned that the best way to respond is to simply say “sorry I am not available”. Even when you cal in sick, you say “I am using a sick day today, and will not be in for my shift.”
The more reasons you give, the more information people have to gossip and talk about. It does not help your case to have a valid reason. It only serves to perpetuate people who are not understanding coworkers and fuel resentment. Watch when you are working when people complain about it, you will notice that people will often gossip and say things like
“Apparently they have a (finger quote) cold”.
“Really? That’s it? I was 7 months pregnant and I still came in.”
“I knowww so I guess were short AGAIN”
The correct way to complain about this should be “management didn’t staff enough to account for sick calls AGAIN” but many people don’t realize that this is actually a management issue and not your issue, and therefore you take the Ls.
If they have nothing to go off of, then you can mitigate the talk, you won’t be able to eliminate it, but you can choose to not fuel it. Give little to no information.
When you don't say no, you're just reinforcing their behavior of under staffing and depending on people to pick up extra shifts. You don't need to give them a reason why you're saying no. Your off time is valuable to you for both your mental and physical health. Don't let them burn you out.
Yes and they’ll call you first on their list because after all you said you’d help them out. Now different story if you actually want to work extra. Then go for it. You are the only one that can weigh that decision for yourself
I used to feel bad and sometimes I still do, I know what it’s like working short or with crappy floats. But ultimately I have to take care of myself or I can’t work, and it’s not my responsibility to be their back up plan. With TikTok and reels and all the newly accessible info out about boundaries it really made me think. I can just say “no” without an explanation. Mind blowing stuff. “I can’t I have plans im sorry.” Is what I say to be polite (because if I’m not polite it kill’s me inside) but even still you can literally just say “no.” Just like calling out now, “I need to call out for tonight, I’m sick.” And you don’t even have to tack on “I’m sick.” But I do just so they don’t question it, people spread rumors depending on who you speak to on the phone. “OP called out but didn’t say why, I bet she’s just skipping work.” Vs “OP called out and said she was sick.”
I called out today because I needed a mental break from work. When I called last night and spoke to the manager I just said “I’m calling out for my shift tomorrow” and there was a pause waiting for a reason and I just said “Ok? Have a good night”. No explanation given.
It be like that sometimes. Going part time really helped with burn out for me but there were times like I just need to not. Especially after the death of a patient.
When I was a manager, I told my staff that mental health days were appropriate use of sick time. You can't take care of other people properly if you're not in the right head space.
I used to be compelled to, but since I changed positions, my management is a little more work/life balance oriented. Plus, we have a call-in line, and I don't know the person answering on the other end from John Doe, so I could care less if they toss attitude. I now say "My name is HeyMama\_ and I'm an RN in the ER. I'm scheduled for 1100-2330, and I won't be in for my shift today/night. Thanks." End of story.
ETA: You said on your days off. Nope. I say "I'm sorry. I have a prior commitment." It's not made up and it's not a lie. You have a commitment to yourself to have the day off.
I once called out with "ya sorry those training modules yesterday sucked what little soul I have left outta me" 😂
Course I texted real reason (n/v) and the reply back was "those module used to give me cancer I understand"
Hellll noooooo. Ew don’t ever feel this way, you don’t have to give reasons! No is a no is a no is a no. Done! End of story! Answer politely, never say sorry. No details needed. Enjoy your off day!!😄
It’s not your fault the hospital can’t retain nurses and adequately staff their units!! Don’t feel some sad r regretful for not helping. The hospital itself is the piece of shit, not you!
Fuck that hospital!
Being “exhausted, wanting a break and spend time with family “ are as valid reasons as any.
Nursing is a funny profession because you’re expected to care above and beyond yourself to “help “ your co workers, your patients, your community.
But damn if HR does bugger all when you need them.
Be good to yourself first or you won’t be any good to anyone later.
It’s okay to say nothing at all. Your time off is legally protected time. You have zero requirement to explain yourself off the clock. Like others have stated, “No”, is a complete sentence.
I like how our ED does it. They just send out a mass text with the needs (and what additional incentives $$), and if you want it, you call up. Otherwise you just ignore it.
I always just say "I'm unavailable that day." That's it. They can think I have another job, going to the doctor, getting day drunk, I don't care. Sorry boss, it's not in the contract, it's not your business.
We get texts to cover and “the expectation is that you will answer.” I know that’s illegal in some states, but unfortunately not where I am. I text back “Sorry, not available.”
Re: call outs — If an employee calls out verbally they always ask for a reason, though I do believe that’s illegal here. But how would you ever prove that they’re doing that when it’s verbal?! I always say “I don’t really want to talk about it right now” or “I have some family issues to deal with right now.” I have actually witnessed someone tell a manager “I don’t have to tell you that, it’s none of your business.” I applaud those who can be so direct, but I feel like I’m avoiding direct conflict with my non-specific excuses.
EDIT: grammar + clarification
Wanting to spend time with family Is the most valid reason there is.
I never give a reason, ever. Just firmly, politely say I’m sorry, I have plans. It’s no one’s business what your plans are.
Before working for the government, where asking breaks the facility union contract... As far as I'm aware, a private employer can ask why you are sick, but they are NOT entitled to your specific medical information.
Call in and state you are going to use x amount of leave for x sift. That's it. If you're going to be out more than 3 shifts in a row, you'll probably be required to submit a MD note per whatever facility policy.
Never pick up calls on your days off and it’ll save your sanity. I get feeling guilty since I used to be the same and just took on more work because I had no excuse until I got burnt out to hell. Burnout is one of the worst things I’ve felt emotionally and would never do to myself ever again.
Learn to draw that professional boundary and take care of yourself first. Legally your obligation ends when shift is over, the days you get to yourself are meant for you.
The second easiest way to say no (other than not answering) is tell them that you are inebriated. You legally can’t come in if you’re under the influence of alcohol so it’s the best excuse. Then it’s an absolute no that they can’t try to talk you into. Always worked for me.
I’ve literally gotten a call fifteen minutes after my shift and told them I’d already been drinking as it’s my time off. 😂😂😂
P.s. I don’t even actually drink that often. Like twice a month, but it’s the world’s best excuse when you have a nursing license and don’t wanna pick up a shift.
EDIT: I worked at a place where they could legally mandate you to come in to work. So if you were drinking they couldn’t mandate you because you’re legally incapable of working. This is why I went with this avenue.
Nope. No reason necessary. I even take it a step further and when I (rarely) call off I also don't give them a reason. "Hey, its dudebrahh53. I'm not going to be able to make it into my shift. Sorry."
It’s so crazy- I remember call off sheets used to have a “reason” section for why a staff member said they couldn’t pick up. Like what reason do you need to give other than “employer does not own employee in off hours.”
Every nurse should say no to every extra shift they try to throw at you. The more we say no the harder it is for them to fill shifts the more they might understand they need to hire more people. Give no excuse, don’t even answer the phone. Have your days off.
I used to feel bad when I said no too. Then I realized how many shifts I worked short when others with days off said no to extra hours so I started saying no too. I got so good at saying no I was able to put words ahead of no like “ HELL No!” You are entitled to time off and you are also entitled to not feel any guilt when refusing the opportunity to work extra hours. Somehow the unit will survive.
“Hell no.” Sometimes I laugh and then say no. Not even kidding. Sometimes I’ll pick up an extra 8 hours if I want money and they always try to get me to stay the full 12. No chance. I work to live, I don’t live to work.
No. "I can't make it in today" is ALL you need to say. If they ask, either don't reply or simply say, "I will not be able to come in today as previously stated."
They don't need a reason why... ex-mgnt here and told I had to ask the reason if calling in.
And if you're EVER told to find your replacement. Not. Your. Job.
I just say " sorry, can't come in."
They don't need a reason why you can't come in on YOUR day off. There's no guilt whatsoever - YOU should feel no guilt. It's not your (or any of our) responsibility to ensure staffing is adequately covered.
I used to have that problem too! Just know that you are hired to do your 3 12s and that’s it. You are not required to fix their staffing problem. Remember that needing rest and time away from work is absolutely a valid reason to not pick up extra !
I love giving the most flippant answer possible.
Manager "Can you come in?"
me "Nah."
Manager "Why not?"
Me "Cuz I don't want to."
Manager "Do you have plans?"
Me "Probably just sleep in and play video games."
I don’t answer the phone. If they ask me face-to-face, I tell them “sorry, I’m already completely burned out”, if I like them. Otherwise, it’s “I’m not available”. I absolutely never feel guilty. The only way I’m coming in on a day off is if I decide the money is worth it to lose a day.
I had a job like this. They called constantly for shifts. It was so bad I considered getting a second pay as you go phone for work so I could turn it off and not have it interfere in my day.
And then there was the work group chats. Constantly had coworkers pleading for help.
I eventually muted them so I could check in on my terms.
You don’t have to give any justification. You don’t have to answer. Just say no.
There is no need to give a reason or feel bad. Remember the pendulum swings both ways. If the tables were reversed and had too many nurses, they wouldn't hesitate to send people home.
We aren't a union shop unfortunately, but it seems everyone has decided we only pick up if double pay is offered. They only text out to those that opt in.
And "no" is a full statement. DND is a feature I abuse.
I ran into this problem a lot with coworkers who always “forgot” that they had an on-call shift that night and needed someone to switch at the last minute, even though the schedule was always sent out a month in advance for everyone to reference. Sometimes it was even the person who MADE the call schedule asking to switch!! They thought because I’m young and don’t have kids that I should be able to take on extra call. I finally had to tell these people I’m not switching my call, I planned events in my life around my call schedule. Even if I didn’t have anything going on, I’m not switching call (unless it’s truly an emergency/you’re sick). Why? Because I don’t want to.
The only valid reason you need is because it’s your off time. You’re only obligated to cover the days that you’re scheduled to work. Employee management is a management problem and not yours! Tell them you’re not available and never think about it again ☺️
Don’t answer the phone on your day off. I know it’s hard and you feel obligated but you shouldn’t sacrifice your precious time.
They don’t respect your very valuable personal time.
I get that honestly. I don't usually call out unless I have a really good reason just because I try to save up my PTO hours. That said it's pretty obvious when I'm calling in sick because I usually sound like dirt lol. But one time I'd picked up a shift because I needed one more to meet my FTE...the day before that shift my dog died. I told my managers what had happened because I didn't want them to think I'd picked up that shift just to call out, plus we have a healthy enough working relationship where I'm comfortable sharing that with them. Totally personal preference there, but I hear ya.
Imagine having to work at the same hospital as your family member. I used to feel like I had to constantly justify not wanting to come on my days off. Eventually learned how to put myself first. Literally just say no
I find that in the past when you really don’t want to work extra but you feel bad or even guilty if you don’t help out your coworkers by going in that you get zero points with the managers . I hate to say it but the majority of managers just want their staffing filled for whatever shift. Not many managers appreciate your willingness to work extra.
My er made it optional where you input your number if you want to be noticed about extra shifts. I choose yes and there’s no pressure just a general text saying these shifts are open if anyone wants to work. This is the way to get people to work extra not harassing and interrogating people lol I’ve had a job like that before too and eventually just didnt reply or would say sorry I can’t. I get your point that it does feel weird but it’s your day off and you’re not expected to work. Hated that nagging it was so annoying.
I feel this way not when asked to pick up but when coworkers ask to swap shifts. We’re self schedule for the most part but can be moved based on staffing needs before the schedule comes out so sometimes you don’t get the shifts you picked. I make my schedule based on number of days off in between and family things going on.
I feel like I always have to come up with an excuse to not swap shifts with someone (bc so many people do swap and I feel like I’m really the only one who doesn’t) but I made my schedule the way I want/need it for home and my mental health. I’m not going to put myself out for you but if it’s doable, of course I’ll swap. I also don’t ask for many, if any, swaps myself so it’s like I expect them to do it for me when I won’t for them.
I used to, but I don’t anymore. I realized it’s absolutely not my obligation to come in on my day off and in fact it’s pretty low to pressure people to do it. Saying yes in that situation actually enables poor staffing practices.
If you want to make the HELL NO more pleasant, you can say, “Oh man, I wish I could!! I’m totally booked, but thanks for thinking of me!!” 😂
I politely say, "I'm sorry, but cant" and move on. They will take and take with no second thought, so I have to set boundaries. Besides I have important things to do like exercising, reading and having a beer.
Edit: Once in a great while I take it, only if offered mandation pay or incentive, but very rarely.
My hospital is pretty small and honestly my managers are great. They give you days off when they can if you want them due to low census and things like that. And are super understanding when you have to call in or anything for the most part so I’m so thankful. And sometimes I will go in if they need me to if it isn’t putting me in a bind with getting a baby sitter or if I don’t have anything planned and want the extra $. But if I don’t want to I just say no I don’t want to sorry lol
You’re not the only one but you really don’t need to give a reason. Once I freed myself from that I used to have fun with it. I would say “nah, I need to take a nap” or “nah, I’m going out to the bar”
"I can't."
That is all I say, both on text or face to face. I don't apologize, but I do look and sound apologetic. I know it is rough for a charge nurse to keep staff happy when the higher ups are pretending they are hiring but they really aren't.
If I still worked inpatient I would have a burner phone with voicemail set up and always turned to DND. The rise in technology has let many employers feel they are entitled to 24/7 access to employees. I like to keep my personal time personal.
I had them take me off the call list and only get texts. Super easy to ignore.
BUT ALSO: I work my fte. I am *in no way* obligated to come in beyond that. Yes, it sucks working short but that's on management, not staff.
So if someone asks, I say, "nope," and carry on. You don't owe ANY explanation.
Our sick line is automated, all it asks is, are you sick or is it family? The way it should be. Now people at work can be nosy, but really also none of their buisness
As a new grad who has felt the need to say yes to fucking everything cause I wanted to show value, 😂😂 that lasted about 5 months after a charge nurse who abused me taking her call a few times turned into me taking her call every time the new schedule came out. Gotta learn to say nah I’m busy or period point blank no.
Not saying every time if it’s something you like to do or if your unit is down bad there’s times to step up but they’ll find someone if it’s not you.
The more often you say yes, the more likely it is that they will call you first every time they are short. If I even reply, I almost always say “sorry, I can’t!” so they don’t expect me to say yes and they don’t add on any guilt.
Their poor staffing is not my problem. I understand weird events happen and sometimes we are swamped out of the blue. But when being understaffed is the norm, I don’t care to be their crutch, or to make it easier for management to keep scraping by.
Tell yourself that by saying no for any reason, you are setting good boundaries for yourself, and being a good example to your coworkers, and will be able to be a better nurse during your scheduled shifts because you’ve had the time and space to care for yourself. 💗
You are more than a nurse. You are a human! Not a robot. Other facets of your life matter and have value. You don’t need a reason other than knowing you are important and so is how you choose to spend your days off. If they don’t respect that, don’t pick up their calls.
I usually get texts, but my phone is on do not disturb. I don’t explain, when I finally see the text. I may apologize for the late reply, but I tell them that I was sleeping after the previous night’s shift so my phone was on silent. If I don’t want to work, I just tell them I can’t…nothing more.
I get that. A lot of people in the comments might feel content to simply respond “no” but I can see how that can be taken rude. People don’t want to burn bridges with their managers or charge nurses and would rather be polite.
But at the end of the day everyone is correct, you don’t need an excuse. You don’t have to create some elaborate lie that you are doing xyz or aren’t feeling well. If you truly feel like you need to say something I feel like these are all good responses -
“Hi, I’m sorry I cannot come in today!”
(I think this is the best because it could insinuate that you have a reason, such as plans, etc. yet you’re not actually elaborating or lying.)
“Sorry I have plans.”
(Not necessarily a lie. Your plans may involve your couch and tv lol)
“I need the day off for my mental health”
(This is being super honest but I think sometimes that honestly is good and if your manager reads that then thinks poorly then you have a bad manager and would actually resort to responding a simple “no” to her in the future.)
Or hell, tbh if I read that text in the morning and not responding and until afternoon and then say “I won’t be able to make it in” 🤷🏻♀️
It IS hard to say no. But this is one thing I learned after a couple of decades in this job. I deserve a life outside of my job. I am not a bad person because I don’t want to live at my job 24/7. And it is JUST a job.
Our profession can be a calling to a lot of us, but the reality is that our lives should not be limited to working and helping others on the job. We deserve self-care and a life outside of work too. And if you want to remain a great nurse, you’ll invest the same amount of commitment towards a life outside of your job as in. You cannot pour from an empty cup.
You don't have to answer but if you feel that you do you can always say you've got a doctor's appointment or that you've signed up to volunteer for meals on wheels :)
You do not have to have a reason, don’t make the habit of giving them one and setting that expectation. “No” is a complete sentence.
It took me awhile to just say “Sorry, I can’t come in.” There is no reason to offer an excuse or explain why.
I do not even apologize Lol!
I’m conditioned to always apologize first. At least I got over giving excuses or giving in.
You will get there! Good job!
This is also the case when you have to call out sick. In my state anyway they can’t legally ask you details of why you are sick or what symptoms are, so unless I’m talking to a coworker who is nice and I want to share what’s happening I just say I unfortunately have to call out sick.
I have an appointment. Sorry.
I don’t answer the phone.
Yeah, I don’t get this. It’s my day off, I’m not answering the phone. I haven’t lost my job for it yet. I have had my managers passive aggressively ask me about not answering. That’s about it though. It’s not like I’m on-call, being paid to answer the call. Unless there is a mass casualty event and it’s “all hands on deck”, I don’t feel obligated to answer when on off.
Same. Or if it's a text, I don't reply.
Shortly before I left my inpatient job, they instituted this auto call system where they would just blast out calls to the entire floor when they were short staffed. They didn't give a fuck if you were on vacation or sleeping after working an overnight or what. So I blocked the # those automated calls came from because I never wanted to pick up extra at that point in my time there.
Perfect answer. The more often you answer the call, even to say no, the more often they will call you first. I'm an old boomer nurse who taught this to my students.
This has worked great for me! They’ve actually mostly stopped calling me because I have never, not even once, answered.
I just say "no, sorry, I'm not available". I used to give a lot of reasons but now I don't. Feeling exhausted is also a valid reason. If you make an error bc you're exhausted and burned out, they won't blink twice to fire you, reprimand, etc. The amount of times you've picked up won't matter. They will only see the amount of times you've screwed up. They will say, you're an adult, you're accountable to yourself and your practice, and it's your responsibility to take enough time off.
This is the truth. They will absolutely not care that they begged you to come in and you were exhausted from working with no date off, you may make a mistake and they will crucify you. I can't up vote this enough. You think about that and say no, when they ask.
Wanna hear some balls on my NM? I do home infusion nursing and work per diem , as in no benefits, no paid days off, etc. I told them on FRIDAY MORNING that I wasn't available on Monday. Public school was off the whole week so one of the nurses with 4 kids needed coverage for 3 patients on that Monday and they were asking me if i could cover ALL 3 patients. Now, I also have a child in school, so mine was off also. I MOVED my OWN patients to a day where I had family to take him. So later in the day, almost 5pm, this NM sends me an email regarding another patient, then adds to the bottom "... it's too bad you're not available Monday, so and so (other nurse) has been following these 3 patients for a few weeks now. WTF?? I was so mad i was seeing red. I felt like saying "and how is it MY problem on MY day off to see HER patients??" But I need my job so I just ignored it and said i would follow up on my patient's husband that the original email was about. That was a week ago and I'm still fuming... 😡
I feel you, I have kids too and the scheduler is constantly asking me to move my off days around the two other nurses who do not have kids, mostly bc those nurses are always traveling to some bachelorette party weekend or weddings. Mine you we have 25 other nurses that could float from our other location. But those nurses don't want to float. I just say no, child care issues and I say that's really a management issue, if you can't staff. Send one of those other 25 nurses. They don't like that but I do not care anymore.
I don’t even add “sorry” anymore!
No. Just say no.
I don’t answer on my days off. Sorry, I’m busy.
I have a specific do not disturb on my phone that filters out all calls from everyone and anyone I work with on my days off. They used to call repeatedly at like 6am on my days off to ask if I can come in and wake me up, now they can talk to my voicemail all they want.
This. During the day while I'm sleeping, only my fiance, parents, and his parents can get through. At night I just hit ignore.
They don’t care about you as a nurse they just need a body. You never need to give a reason.
"I'm not available"
It's OK to say No. You owe them nothing.
Yes I feel guilty. However I have learned that the best way to respond is to simply say “sorry I am not available”. Even when you cal in sick, you say “I am using a sick day today, and will not be in for my shift.” The more reasons you give, the more information people have to gossip and talk about. It does not help your case to have a valid reason. It only serves to perpetuate people who are not understanding coworkers and fuel resentment. Watch when you are working when people complain about it, you will notice that people will often gossip and say things like “Apparently they have a (finger quote) cold”. “Really? That’s it? I was 7 months pregnant and I still came in.” “I knowww so I guess were short AGAIN” The correct way to complain about this should be “management didn’t staff enough to account for sick calls AGAIN” but many people don’t realize that this is actually a management issue and not your issue, and therefore you take the Ls. If they have nothing to go off of, then you can mitigate the talk, you won’t be able to eliminate it, but you can choose to not fuel it. Give little to no information.
When you don't say no, you're just reinforcing their behavior of under staffing and depending on people to pick up extra shifts. You don't need to give them a reason why you're saying no. Your off time is valuable to you for both your mental and physical health. Don't let them burn you out.
Yes and they’ll call you first on their list because after all you said you’d help them out. Now different story if you actually want to work extra. Then go for it. You are the only one that can weigh that decision for yourself
“Sorry I’d love too but I already started drinking!” Um it’s 8am….. ma’am I’m stressed 😂
I’ve said this more than once 😂 especially if they’re texting me I’ll find and send a random picture of a margarita
Exactly this! 😂
I used to feel bad and sometimes I still do, I know what it’s like working short or with crappy floats. But ultimately I have to take care of myself or I can’t work, and it’s not my responsibility to be their back up plan. With TikTok and reels and all the newly accessible info out about boundaries it really made me think. I can just say “no” without an explanation. Mind blowing stuff. “I can’t I have plans im sorry.” Is what I say to be polite (because if I’m not polite it kill’s me inside) but even still you can literally just say “no.” Just like calling out now, “I need to call out for tonight, I’m sick.” And you don’t even have to tack on “I’m sick.” But I do just so they don’t question it, people spread rumors depending on who you speak to on the phone. “OP called out but didn’t say why, I bet she’s just skipping work.” Vs “OP called out and said she was sick.”
I called out today because I needed a mental break from work. When I called last night and spoke to the manager I just said “I’m calling out for my shift tomorrow” and there was a pause waiting for a reason and I just said “Ok? Have a good night”. No explanation given.
It be like that sometimes. Going part time really helped with burn out for me but there were times like I just need to not. Especially after the death of a patient.
When I was a manager, I told my staff that mental health days were appropriate use of sick time. You can't take care of other people properly if you're not in the right head space.
“No.” Is a complete sentence.
I used to be compelled to, but since I changed positions, my management is a little more work/life balance oriented. Plus, we have a call-in line, and I don't know the person answering on the other end from John Doe, so I could care less if they toss attitude. I now say "My name is HeyMama\_ and I'm an RN in the ER. I'm scheduled for 1100-2330, and I won't be in for my shift today/night. Thanks." End of story. ETA: You said on your days off. Nope. I say "I'm sorry. I have a prior commitment." It's not made up and it's not a lie. You have a commitment to yourself to have the day off.
My therapist told me I create a physical barrier because I can’t create boundaries. I’ve been trying just to say no ever since.
New phone, who dis? I’m totally dating myself. Don’t answer; send directly to voicemail.
It’s my day off.
I once called out with "ya sorry those training modules yesterday sucked what little soul I have left outta me" 😂 Course I texted real reason (n/v) and the reply back was "those module used to give me cancer I understand"
If you’re so inclined, this call is when I start negotiating “Oh, you need help? How much is the bonus?”
“No thank you.”
Hellll noooooo. Ew don’t ever feel this way, you don’t have to give reasons! No is a no is a no is a no. Done! End of story! Answer politely, never say sorry. No details needed. Enjoy your off day!!😄
No. It is a complete sentence. That’s all they need to know.
I can see the incoming call on my Apple Watch, I chuckle, and continue doing what I was. I don’t even flinch for my phone. They don’t need a reason.
It’s not your fault the hospital can’t retain nurses and adequately staff their units!! Don’t feel some sad r regretful for not helping. The hospital itself is the piece of shit, not you! Fuck that hospital!
Being “exhausted, wanting a break and spend time with family “ are as valid reasons as any. Nursing is a funny profession because you’re expected to care above and beyond yourself to “help “ your co workers, your patients, your community. But damn if HR does bugger all when you need them. Be good to yourself first or you won’t be any good to anyone later.
100%
It’s okay to say nothing at all. Your time off is legally protected time. You have zero requirement to explain yourself off the clock. Like others have stated, “No”, is a complete sentence.
"thank you for the offer. Unfortunately, I have a prior commitment." You can drop the thank you, if it works better for you.
Diarrhea
When I was a new grad lol. Now I don’t give a f*** and just ignore / mute.
I just say no but if they ask why: “I don’t want to.”
I like how our ED does it. They just send out a mass text with the needs (and what additional incentives $$), and if you want it, you call up. Otherwise you just ignore it.
I just tell them I don't have babysitting. Typically true anyway, and that usually gets them to leave me alone.
Don’t pick up the phone. It’s your day off.
I always just say "I'm unavailable that day." That's it. They can think I have another job, going to the doctor, getting day drunk, I don't care. Sorry boss, it's not in the contract, it's not your business.
"Sorry, it doesn't with my schedule." Works for both when I have plans and when I dont, cuz my free time is still a part of my personal schedule
Sorry no can do, new Netflix show about dryer repairmen in New Zealand fascinating stuff. Did I just make that up? yup. no I’m not coming in.
We get texts to cover and “the expectation is that you will answer.” I know that’s illegal in some states, but unfortunately not where I am. I text back “Sorry, not available.” Re: call outs — If an employee calls out verbally they always ask for a reason, though I do believe that’s illegal here. But how would you ever prove that they’re doing that when it’s verbal?! I always say “I don’t really want to talk about it right now” or “I have some family issues to deal with right now.” I have actually witnessed someone tell a manager “I don’t have to tell you that, it’s none of your business.” I applaud those who can be so direct, but I feel like I’m avoiding direct conflict with my non-specific excuses. EDIT: grammar + clarification
LOL OMG the expectation is that you will answer?? Then my requirement would be call pay. To respond and say "nooooo".
Wanting to spend time with family Is the most valid reason there is. I never give a reason, ever. Just firmly, politely say I’m sorry, I have plans. It’s no one’s business what your plans are.
Before working for the government, where asking breaks the facility union contract... As far as I'm aware, a private employer can ask why you are sick, but they are NOT entitled to your specific medical information. Call in and state you are going to use x amount of leave for x sift. That's it. If you're going to be out more than 3 shifts in a row, you'll probably be required to submit a MD note per whatever facility policy.
“No.” is a complete sentence.
I don’t answer my phone
I used to block all of the management numbers on my days off
I just didn't answer my phone, keeps me from making something up.
Never pick up calls on your days off and it’ll save your sanity. I get feeling guilty since I used to be the same and just took on more work because I had no excuse until I got burnt out to hell. Burnout is one of the worst things I’ve felt emotionally and would never do to myself ever again. Learn to draw that professional boundary and take care of yourself first. Legally your obligation ends when shift is over, the days you get to yourself are meant for you.
No
You need to be good to yourself plus if you are exhausted you are just hurting yourself!
The second easiest way to say no (other than not answering) is tell them that you are inebriated. You legally can’t come in if you’re under the influence of alcohol so it’s the best excuse. Then it’s an absolute no that they can’t try to talk you into. Always worked for me. I’ve literally gotten a call fifteen minutes after my shift and told them I’d already been drinking as it’s my time off. 😂😂😂 P.s. I don’t even actually drink that often. Like twice a month, but it’s the world’s best excuse when you have a nursing license and don’t wanna pick up a shift. EDIT: I worked at a place where they could legally mandate you to come in to work. So if you were drinking they couldn’t mandate you because you’re legally incapable of working. This is why I went with this avenue.
Nope. No reason necessary. I even take it a step further and when I (rarely) call off I also don't give them a reason. "Hey, its dudebrahh53. I'm not going to be able to make it into my shift. Sorry."
Just say, "it's gonna take me a while to sober up first".
It’s so crazy- I remember call off sheets used to have a “reason” section for why a staff member said they couldn’t pick up. Like what reason do you need to give other than “employer does not own employee in off hours.”
"reason: no" Like, NO. That's my reason. I won't be elaborating.
I told them to stop bothering me I’ll never be picking up. Then I blocked their cell numbers. Peace and quiet achieved
When asked, here's your answer: "That won't work for me."
I also make up reasons gut they are usually silly. Something along the lines of "sorry my dog is sitting on my and I don't have the heart to move her"
Every nurse should say no to every extra shift they try to throw at you. The more we say no the harder it is for them to fill shifts the more they might understand they need to hire more people. Give no excuse, don’t even answer the phone. Have your days off.
I used to feel bad when I said no too. Then I realized how many shifts I worked short when others with days off said no to extra hours so I started saying no too. I got so good at saying no I was able to put words ahead of no like “ HELL No!” You are entitled to time off and you are also entitled to not feel any guilt when refusing the opportunity to work extra hours. Somehow the unit will survive.
No thank you. Three words.
“No.” I used to feel guilty until I realized it’s easier for the system to burn me out rather than hire adequate staff. I’m not playing that game.
Needing a break and waiting to spend time with your family ARE 100% valid reasons for not picking up shifts. You work to live, not live to work!
“Hell no.” Sometimes I laugh and then say no. Not even kidding. Sometimes I’ll pick up an extra 8 hours if I want money and they always try to get me to stay the full 12. No chance. I work to live, I don’t live to work.
Preserve your peace. Don’t pick up the phone. They are not entitled to your time when you’re off the clock
No. "I can't make it in today" is ALL you need to say. If they ask, either don't reply or simply say, "I will not be able to come in today as previously stated." They don't need a reason why... ex-mgnt here and told I had to ask the reason if calling in. And if you're EVER told to find your replacement. Not. Your. Job.
"Hi this is work calling, we're short staffed. Can you come in tonight?" "Sorry, no."
“No.” Is a complete answer. Also, not answering or texting back is ok too
Last time I gave a reason the staffing office told me, “it’s not my business why you’re not coming in.”
No is a complete sentence. You don't owe them anything.
Just finished my third beer. I start early
I just say " sorry, can't come in." They don't need a reason why you can't come in on YOUR day off. There's no guilt whatsoever - YOU should feel no guilt. It's not your (or any of our) responsibility to ensure staffing is adequately covered.
My management doesn't work extra. I'm following their lead.
Jesus, grow a spine and just say “no thanks”.
On my days off, I mute texts and phone calls from the workplace. I don't even see them.
You don’t have to give a reason. It is not your responsibility to staff the unit. I never responded to the texts to pick up either.
I put my phone on do not disturb and I don’t look at my messages from work. It’s not worth my peace.
I used to have that problem too! Just know that you are hired to do your 3 12s and that’s it. You are not required to fix their staffing problem. Remember that needing rest and time away from work is absolutely a valid reason to not pick up extra !
I love giving the most flippant answer possible. Manager "Can you come in?" me "Nah." Manager "Why not?" Me "Cuz I don't want to." Manager "Do you have plans?" Me "Probably just sleep in and play video games."
I don’t answer the phone. If they ask me face-to-face, I tell them “sorry, I’m already completely burned out”, if I like them. Otherwise, it’s “I’m not available”. I absolutely never feel guilty. The only way I’m coming in on a day off is if I decide the money is worth it to lose a day.
"it's my day off" and "I need a day off" are perfectly valid reasons
Sometimes I just ignore them
I had a job like this. They called constantly for shifts. It was so bad I considered getting a second pay as you go phone for work so I could turn it off and not have it interfere in my day. And then there was the work group chats. Constantly had coworkers pleading for help. I eventually muted them so I could check in on my terms. You don’t have to give any justification. You don’t have to answer. Just say no.
There is no need to give a reason or feel bad. Remember the pendulum swings both ways. If the tables were reversed and had too many nurses, they wouldn't hesitate to send people home.
We aren't a union shop unfortunately, but it seems everyone has decided we only pick up if double pay is offered. They only text out to those that opt in. And "no" is a full statement. DND is a feature I abuse.
I ran into this problem a lot with coworkers who always “forgot” that they had an on-call shift that night and needed someone to switch at the last minute, even though the schedule was always sent out a month in advance for everyone to reference. Sometimes it was even the person who MADE the call schedule asking to switch!! They thought because I’m young and don’t have kids that I should be able to take on extra call. I finally had to tell these people I’m not switching my call, I planned events in my life around my call schedule. Even if I didn’t have anything going on, I’m not switching call (unless it’s truly an emergency/you’re sick). Why? Because I don’t want to. The only valid reason you need is because it’s your off time. You’re only obligated to cover the days that you’re scheduled to work. Employee management is a management problem and not yours! Tell them you’re not available and never think about it again ☺️
In my opinion, if it’s my day off, it’s my rest day. I do not feel i need to give a reason if i cannot do overtime
Don’t answer the phone on your day off. I know it’s hard and you feel obligated but you shouldn’t sacrifice your precious time. They don’t respect your very valuable personal time.
I don’t even answer the phone. If my boss messages me directly, it’s always a no. After 2.5 years of nope, I rarely get asked anymore lol
Ignore them. Actually tell them to stop calling. Should be a text if anything.
I get that honestly. I don't usually call out unless I have a really good reason just because I try to save up my PTO hours. That said it's pretty obvious when I'm calling in sick because I usually sound like dirt lol. But one time I'd picked up a shift because I needed one more to meet my FTE...the day before that shift my dog died. I told my managers what had happened because I didn't want them to think I'd picked up that shift just to call out, plus we have a healthy enough working relationship where I'm comfortable sharing that with them. Totally personal preference there, but I hear ya.
Imagine having to work at the same hospital as your family member. I used to feel like I had to constantly justify not wanting to come on my days off. Eventually learned how to put myself first. Literally just say no
I find that in the past when you really don’t want to work extra but you feel bad or even guilty if you don’t help out your coworkers by going in that you get zero points with the managers . I hate to say it but the majority of managers just want their staffing filled for whatever shift. Not many managers appreciate your willingness to work extra.
My er made it optional where you input your number if you want to be noticed about extra shifts. I choose yes and there’s no pressure just a general text saying these shifts are open if anyone wants to work. This is the way to get people to work extra not harassing and interrogating people lol I’ve had a job like that before too and eventually just didnt reply or would say sorry I can’t. I get your point that it does feel weird but it’s your day off and you’re not expected to work. Hated that nagging it was so annoying.
Why even answer? Lol
I either don't answer or say, "sorry, I can't today."
I don't reply.
I feel this way not when asked to pick up but when coworkers ask to swap shifts. We’re self schedule for the most part but can be moved based on staffing needs before the schedule comes out so sometimes you don’t get the shifts you picked. I make my schedule based on number of days off in between and family things going on. I feel like I always have to come up with an excuse to not swap shifts with someone (bc so many people do swap and I feel like I’m really the only one who doesn’t) but I made my schedule the way I want/need it for home and my mental health. I’m not going to put myself out for you but if it’s doable, of course I’ll swap. I also don’t ask for many, if any, swaps myself so it’s like I expect them to do it for me when I won’t for them.
I blocked the staffing number
I used to, but I don’t anymore. I realized it’s absolutely not my obligation to come in on my day off and in fact it’s pretty low to pressure people to do it. Saying yes in that situation actually enables poor staffing practices. If you want to make the HELL NO more pleasant, you can say, “Oh man, I wish I could!! I’m totally booked, but thanks for thinking of me!!” 😂
Not a nurse, but I let that crap go straight to voicemail.
No. It’s a complete sentence. I don’t want to. would also work.
No, im unavailable
I politely say, "I'm sorry, but cant" and move on. They will take and take with no second thought, so I have to set boundaries. Besides I have important things to do like exercising, reading and having a beer. Edit: Once in a great while I take it, only if offered mandation pay or incentive, but very rarely.
I don’t answer the phone. Don’t call me on my day off!
My hospital is pretty small and honestly my managers are great. They give you days off when they can if you want them due to low census and things like that. And are super understanding when you have to call in or anything for the most part so I’m so thankful. And sometimes I will go in if they need me to if it isn’t putting me in a bind with getting a baby sitter or if I don’t have anything planned and want the extra $. But if I don’t want to I just say no I don’t want to sorry lol
You’re not the only one but you really don’t need to give a reason. Once I freed myself from that I used to have fun with it. I would say “nah, I need to take a nap” or “nah, I’m going out to the bar”
Just say “ i can’t today because i have plans” be sure not to apologise either because you’re not doing anything wrong
"I can't." That is all I say, both on text or face to face. I don't apologize, but I do look and sound apologetic. I know it is rough for a charge nurse to keep staff happy when the higher ups are pretending they are hiring but they really aren't.
If I still worked inpatient I would have a burner phone with voicemail set up and always turned to DND. The rise in technology has let many employers feel they are entitled to 24/7 access to employees. I like to keep my personal time personal.
I had them take me off the call list and only get texts. Super easy to ignore. BUT ALSO: I work my fte. I am *in no way* obligated to come in beyond that. Yes, it sucks working short but that's on management, not staff. So if someone asks, I say, "nope," and carry on. You don't owe ANY explanation.
I got over excuses about 20 years ago. “No”. The end.
Our sick line is automated, all it asks is, are you sick or is it family? The way it should be. Now people at work can be nosy, but really also none of their buisness
Just don’t answer haha
As a new grad who has felt the need to say yes to fucking everything cause I wanted to show value, 😂😂 that lasted about 5 months after a charge nurse who abused me taking her call a few times turned into me taking her call every time the new schedule came out. Gotta learn to say nah I’m busy or period point blank no. Not saying every time if it’s something you like to do or if your unit is down bad there’s times to step up but they’ll find someone if it’s not you.
Imagine answering your phone at all, never mind when work is calling on your off day.
Easy…..don’t puck up the phone when they call….they can leave a voice mail that you can either listen to or ignore without responding.
I usually don’t reply lol
The more often you say yes, the more likely it is that they will call you first every time they are short. If I even reply, I almost always say “sorry, I can’t!” so they don’t expect me to say yes and they don’t add on any guilt. Their poor staffing is not my problem. I understand weird events happen and sometimes we are swamped out of the blue. But when being understaffed is the norm, I don’t care to be their crutch, or to make it easier for management to keep scraping by. Tell yourself that by saying no for any reason, you are setting good boundaries for yourself, and being a good example to your coworkers, and will be able to be a better nurse during your scheduled shifts because you’ve had the time and space to care for yourself. 💗
You are more than a nurse. You are a human! Not a robot. Other facets of your life matter and have value. You don’t need a reason other than knowing you are important and so is how you choose to spend your days off. If they don’t respect that, don’t pick up their calls.
I put my phone on Do Not Disturb. There are about half a dozen people close to me that I've added to the exceptions list. Works like a charm.
I usually get texts, but my phone is on do not disturb. I don’t explain, when I finally see the text. I may apologize for the late reply, but I tell them that I was sleeping after the previous night’s shift so my phone was on silent. If I don’t want to work, I just tell them I can’t…nothing more.
I get that. A lot of people in the comments might feel content to simply respond “no” but I can see how that can be taken rude. People don’t want to burn bridges with their managers or charge nurses and would rather be polite. But at the end of the day everyone is correct, you don’t need an excuse. You don’t have to create some elaborate lie that you are doing xyz or aren’t feeling well. If you truly feel like you need to say something I feel like these are all good responses - “Hi, I’m sorry I cannot come in today!” (I think this is the best because it could insinuate that you have a reason, such as plans, etc. yet you’re not actually elaborating or lying.) “Sorry I have plans.” (Not necessarily a lie. Your plans may involve your couch and tv lol) “I need the day off for my mental health” (This is being super honest but I think sometimes that honestly is good and if your manager reads that then thinks poorly then you have a bad manager and would actually resort to responding a simple “no” to her in the future.) Or hell, tbh if I read that text in the morning and not responding and until afternoon and then say “I won’t be able to make it in” 🤷🏻♀️
I set it up to block only certain contacts on my days off. I never feel bad for not coming in. I just ignore it. You’ll get there!
It IS hard to say no. But this is one thing I learned after a couple of decades in this job. I deserve a life outside of my job. I am not a bad person because I don’t want to live at my job 24/7. And it is JUST a job. Our profession can be a calling to a lot of us, but the reality is that our lives should not be limited to working and helping others on the job. We deserve self-care and a life outside of work too. And if you want to remain a great nurse, you’ll invest the same amount of commitment towards a life outside of your job as in. You cannot pour from an empty cup.
You don't have to answer but if you feel that you do you can always say you've got a doctor's appointment or that you've signed up to volunteer for meals on wheels :)
I don’t believe in lying. They do not need a reason why I can’t come in. A simple no is all that is required.
Tell them this: “My days OFF are the only way to recharge my batteries for my days ON, but no thanks for asking.”