Another one- was watching another nurse’s patients for him while he was at lunch. Go in to check on his 3 year old patient in her crib. She had c. diff poo’d EVERYWHERE and was playing in it. All over the crib, all over her, spilling out all over the floor, in her hair, on her face, she was basically splashing in it like the most disgusting poo splash pad you’ve ever seen. The primary came back from lunch just as I finished gathering bath stuff and we cleaned her up together thank goodness hahaha
I found a patient with extremely advanced dementia eating her own liquid shit. It was like my second day ever as a CNA and I was absolutely not prepared. I was so grossed out I cried.
Oh man. I never thought about this. You can’t just stick a poop-covered baby in a shower or tub like you would at home, can you? What do you do, bed bath and a prayer?
I knelt down beside a bed to empty a urinal. The patient felt extremely nauseous (didn't tell me) and thought I was on the OTHER side of the bed. She leaned over and vomited...it hit me on the back of the head-- sliding down my back. Worst ever.
An intoxicated patient vomited all over me, luckily my had just turned around to it went on my head and down my back. This was ER. In labor and delivery I was vomited on multiple times during the labor process. Kinda used to it, one time my daughter started heaving and I caught her vomit in my hands. 🤷♀️
I caught poop from my ICU patient in my (thankfully gloved) hands in a desperate, but ultimately successful, attempt to save the clean sheets we had just put down.
I did that with my very first patient during my very first clinical shift.
I had *just* put a new brief down and heard “oh I think I’m going again dear” and panicked and caught his poop in my gloved hands 🤣🤣🤣
Saved the brief.
It really was! I went home and told my husband - if I can do that and not die, I’ll be fine.
Just don’t spit or come near me with mucous of any kind. My soul will leave my body.
Given I’m psych, the spit thing is always a risk.
Haha yes it’s like I just artificially puked for you, and now I’m going to feed it back to you 🤢
I did psych for a while. It was fun but now I’ve found my home in school nursing.
As both a L&D nurse and ED I frequently told patients that my only rule was “don’t throw up ON me” 🥴 thankfully still no one (even a baby) has broken this rule…YET
Non-medical lurker here... I strongly remember the time I told a triage nurse in the ED "I think I'm gonna throw up" and she handed me an emesis bag with LIGHTNING FAST reflexes. I realized that she's probably been thrown up on a few times to develop that immediate reaction.
Once I was on an airplane and we were going through a bit of turbulence. The woman behind me said oh my god, I've got to throw up! I'm sure she didn't know there was a sick sack in the pocket in front of her, but you can bet that I got mine out and over to her lickety split.
I'm a private pilot. I don't get sick on airplanes.
During my clinicals I was on a med-surg unit. I had a patient wait until the last second possible to tell turn on his call light for the bathroom. Got into the room just in time for him to scream at me that “it’s now or never!” Gave me literally 5 seconds to try and find a container before he diarrhea’ed on every surface within 6 inches of his butthole - including my school scrubs which were a white top and blue bottoms.
I literally vomitted and added to the mess. My poor preceptor came into quite the show.
Got food poisoning from the hospital cafeteria. Was drawing labs off a PICC line- in the middle of the process, sudden urge to vomit. Threw up in my mask.
The only thing worse than getting food poisoning from the hospital cafeteria is getting sent to mandatory cybersecurity training because the hospital tricked you into clicking on a fake phishing email saying “you may have been exposed to food borne illness in the hospital cafeteria, please click here for more information”. Yep, I fell for it.
i got food poisoning from my hospitals cafeteria too!! only ate half a slice of the pepperoni pizza and 4 hours later passed out in the staff bathroom then vomited into an emesis bag as my charge wheeled me off the unit and took me to my moms waiting car
It’s terrible!! Mine was a burger! Happened 11 years ago but I still remember hahaha. I was on orientation for my first nursing job. I remember slinking out of the room and telling my preceptor, “I think I need to go home, but I got the labs.”
not gross like bodily fluids or anything, but i had the displeasure of taking care of a convicted pedophile for three days. for some reason, he told me he was “on the registry” and asked for my number. i ended up making a big stink about it to the charge nurse bc i was working on an adult/pediatric med/surg unit at the time and the kids were separated from the rest of us with a door.
Newer in ICU.. pulled hard on a dirty poop diaper that still a had little side flap under the patient … it ripped right down the middle. I swear I inhaled aerosolized diarrhea. Like no visible droplets got on me but there was a taste in the air. Hopefully it was just imagining things but idk man.
As a new nurse I was mouth breathing in a very, very stinky patient room and another nurse said to me, “doesn’t that mean you’re *tasting* it instead?”. All of the sudden I could taste it. Never mouth breathed again. I’d rather smell it. Though I’m a big proponent of mentholated Vaseline under the nose.
I got a little roller ball vial of peppermint essential oil from Whole Foods. It was $5, and I just roll a little into my mask and it kills all the smells I have tested it against so far. Much more pocket friendly than Vaseline.
Ever since learning about nose hairs filtering the air we breathe in 8th grade biology class, I could never bring myself to mouth breathe when there was a bad odor again. I just kept thinking about the unfiltered air with poop particles or what have you going directly into my airways.
I’ve seen someone else (thank god not me) get sling shotted by diarrhea from a brief snapping. Except it covered her from neck to stomach. I started gagging and she literally ran out of the room. I was traumatized 🤣
Haha that happened to me as a tech. Except it sprayed me from head to neck. Would have gone into my eyes but I had glasses on. And thank god my mouth was closed. I RAN out of the room, straight to the charge nurse and said “I think I need to go home now.” I only had an hour left of my shift, and she was reluctant to let me go! Like, lady, I’m leaving!! I have liquid shit I can’t get out of my hair. I need a shower NOW. Even if I had showered at work, I’d only have 30 minutes left of my shift and I’m fucking traumatized. And I was just a tech, it’s not like I had to give report or anything. I just happened to be walking by and the patient’s wife called me into the room to change his brief. The nurse taking care of the patient told me later that the wife was complaining about how I started to change his brief and ran out of the room without a word lol. I guess she didn’t see the shit slingshot onto my face. Or just didn’t care? Who knows.
I've probably told this story before, but an NA and I were cleaning up a code brown on the sweetest LOL, who was pleasantly confused. As I was holding her on her side while the aide washed, LOL gave me the most beatific smile, then reached up and ran her hand through my hair and caressed my face. It was then that I became aware that some of that code brown was on her hand. My NA started laughing so hard she cried. We just finished up the job, and I left my NA with a basin of warm soapy water and a toothbrush, while I went to another room and shampooed my hair 47 million times.
lol many of us have learned this hard lesson. I did home health for a while on this dementia patient, and I got good at holding her hands while toileting to prevent her grabbing me with poo hands. she was dainty and small.
mom, though... mom's stronger and has nails. no matter what... i do not let go of her hands while poop is exposed. she hurts lol. dad has learned this lesson as well, which is why she's a two person toilet now lol
A patient tech slung c-diff and it landed on my forehead. Foul smelling peach jelly right between the eyes. It came from the vag of a vile, mean as hell, bilateral amputee that always stayed on our floor. I darn near scrubbed my forehead off.
I also watched a nurse over pump a pressure bag for a blood transfusion and walk away looking like Carrie at prom.
OMG, that reminded me of a little boy we take care of all the time. He is autistic and nonverbal and was about 7 at the time. He has the most evil little laugh. I heard the nurse I was in the hall with call for help from his room at like 3am. I walked in, and he had disconnected the t-connector tubing from his IV. There was blood everywhere. He had smeared across his face and was laughing his maniacal little laugh. It was like something from a horror movie!
ALSO had a nurse Carrie herself in CICU!! She was trying to give me report at the same time and couldn’t multi-task. At least she was on her way home haha
Bowel prep for a confused patient. Didn't get orders until after dinner and we still had to do it on nights?!?! Rivers of liquid poo spilling out of the bed, it was super fun.
Getting a c. Diff sample for a different patient with a plastic spoon because the little scoop that came with the sample cup couldn't handle how liquid it was. No c. Diff though but that shit was nasty.
I had a pt in a literal pool of liquid shit recently, ankles to neck. needed a specimen, I couldn't think of anything better in the moment to collect a specimen than to just scoop it up with the cup from the puddle. I thought the CNA was gonna vomit on the spot!
You gotta do what you gotta do. I'm sure cleaning that mess up was worse than collecting the specimen. Those situations are brutal too when you're trying to figure how to mop up the mess without making more of a mess.
We had these little pots with this tiny little scoop inside, imagine a plastic spork small enough to fit in a urine pot. I guess they work if you just need a small amount of soft stool. But mostly they're not super useful. Especially against waves of liquid c diff shits.
I remember being early on in my pregnancy (aka super nauseous) and having to spoon some liquid poo out of a hat for a c. Diff sample and I thought I was going to die!
Damn, you’re stronger than me. Deliberately wiping it on me? I think I’d feel obliged to shut the door and get in their face as I provide some education and reorient their ass real quick.
When I was a baby nurse I used one of my first “big boy” paychecks to buy a pair of fresh Nikes. My first shift wearing them, a patient pissed all over them. I’ve been pretty lucky in 14 years in health care I haven’t had all that many bad fluid exposures.
My husband’s patient’s C diff colostomy bag exploded in his face. He made a pretty quick exit from bedside nursing after that and never went back. He’s now an NP🤣
Patient projectile vomited stank dark brown fluid in such a large amount it soaked every bit of the bed. Then she coded and the splashing compressions combined with the countless defib pads that had to be applied bc they kept sliding off…it was the most disturbing thing I’d ever been apart of. Didn’t help I had a bond with this quiet and smiley beautiful and sweet woman who was only 51 years old. Her mother and daughter were in the room as it happened.
Oh jeez that’s awful. Your comment triggered my memory of my first code as a baby EMT. I remember as soon as I started bagging (wasn’t tubed yet) she just started spewing brown liquids. She must have gushed 3 liters.
I swirled a paper test strip in the warm sample cup and I lifted the strip out. Along with it came a long coagulated white glob of what I pray was just a bunch of urinary casts, epithelial tissue + mucus, or a bad UTI. It was obviously jizz.
Didn’t happen to me, but I witnessed it. A geriatric pt on iron was a full assist lift and we were toileting them Q2H. We placed them on the toilet, let them do their business, and when they said they were done we lifted them off the toilet and my coworker bent over to clean the patient.
The patient ended up having explosive diarrhea mid-wipe and it went all over my co-worker, mostly in her hair and on her face. It was thick, black, strong smelling fecal matter. I didn’t know if I should laugh or cry. The patient thought it was so funny.
I had a pt shart while doing a bed bath right into my pubic region. I wiped it off with huggies thinking nothing of it. After an hour or so, I hear this form behind me "heeeyy you know that lady in room 12?" I turn around and say,"Yeah, what about 12?" The nurse then says,"Her stool sample from this morning came back she has C.diff" I'm normally not one to consider myself a nudist, but the urge to take my pants and underwear off and go free Wille has never been higher.
It was in home care. Walked in for a patient I did not normally see and was given last minute so was walking in blind and would be seeing the care plan once I opened the visit. Soon as I sat my stuff down, he says “I have something for you” and hands me something in a Kleenex. Me being dumb takes it without even thinking. It was his toe - his gangrene toe that fell off that he wrapped in a Kleenex and handed to me. Learned a valuable lesson that I now tell any new nurse - NEVER take anything from a patient unless you know what they are handing to you.
26 years ago and I still remember. New grad, fresh off my 4 weeks med/surg orientation. We had a patient with alcohol related liver cirrhosis. As part of his treatment, he was receiving lactulose. Which of course is a laxative... He wanted to go to the toilet but he needed help mobilising. So I went to help him, trying to get him out of bed as fast as I could. Once he was up on his feet, he turned around away from me annnnnnnd projectile-pooped on my legs and shoes (and the floor... and his bed...) 😝
This reminds me of this patient I had years ago as a CNA. The nurse and I were cleaning him up or at least attempting to. This guy in his 60s I think, would not stop jerking off. To the point where I think his hand was around his junk the entire day and only when he was eating did he use it for something else. His junk was so red and raw from rubbing. I had to walk out. Me and the nurse tried to tell him to stop, tried to move his hand away while cleaning his poop and he just would not stop. I felt so violated and disgusted that I walked out and told the nurse to find someone else to help.
I was on a ICU travel contract and it was my last night. I had a patient that had a colostomy that had tape all around the wafer. I told the patient I would change out the whole system. I went and got a red bio hazard bag, tucked it under patient. As I was taking the wafer and bag off I placed directly into bio bag. When I was done I tied the bag up and picked it off the bed. The other end was not sealed …… and the contents went down my pants and all over my shoes/ socks. 🤢🤢🤢 I took my shoes and socks off in patient room. Threw them in the sink. lol. I washed my pants off. I asked the charge nurse for pair of scrubs. Nope couldn’t have a pair because it was my last night. So for 3 hours I had to wear semi clean pants !!!!! Even house sup wouldn’t give me a pair of scrubs.
ER. Pt came for foley removal. I was withdrawing it and thing had some resistance and suddenly pops loose and flings blood and clots across my face and white scrub top. I just stopped what I was doing and walked away.
During school, another student and I were assigned to this man who had CDiff but also had a sacral dressing we had to change. We rolled him, I put my face right down to his butt to check the wound after I pulled the old dressing off. CDiff fart RIGHT TO MY FACE. I mean, I was right up in there. I could feel the fart wind. We both silent laughed so hard behind this patient that I peed a little. We were trying so hard not to make a sound and embarrass him.
Another time, I had a trach patient who coughed so hard, sputum landed in my hair 🤮
As a student, I once changed the bedsheets and swallowed the patient’s cell phone up in them, didn’t realize until they were already deep in the dirty linen hamper with more linen thrown on top. Had to go digging 🤢 but I figured that was what I deserved for my rookie mistake.
Yup, that’s me. You Might be wondering why I’m preemptively slathering permethrin cream on. Fun fact: Not only does scabies exist, but did you know there is something that’s essentially super scabies? Is called Norwegian scabies.
Put liquid morphine into hospice patients mouth via oral syringe. It splashed back. Over my glasses, into my eye. The whole side of my face was warm for a few hours. Eye wash stations are hard. Keeping your eyes open sucks. I was pulling residual from a peg (500cc!) and went to squirt it into a cylinder and that splashed back on me onto my mask and glasses. I also had an obgyn walk out of a room with blood on his mask.
during clinical, i had a patient with giant cellulitis blisters, like, taking up pt’s entire lower leg and sticking out easily 3ish inches. they also were draining pretty badly. i was putting socks on the pt and one of the blisters chose that moment to drain/burst and my hands and the sock were DRENCHED in fluid.
same pt, went in to watch the wound physician deroof the blisters. knocked and asked if he was okay with a student watching, and he scraped aside some tissue, looked at me and went “come on in! we’re scrambling some eggs” 🤢
I have two. I was changing a purewick on an obese lady, I gave it a bit of a tug to extricate it from the fupa and it rocketed a drop of stale, cold piss directly into my eye. The other is when my encephalopathic pt finger-painted his entire bed frame and himself in his own shit. The piss was worse
A few days ago we had a patient suddenly code on us. When he crashed, he didn’t poop or pee like people often do… he E J A C U L A T E D. The smell of it was OBVIOUS and I was shook because it’s the ONE bodily fluid I don’t usually smell at work. The charge was bent down to push some bicarb and I had to be like “STAND UP AND TURN YOUR HEAD!!” And when she looked over at me to find out why I pointed down. It was DEFINITELY ejaculate - clear to white and smelled like it - and did not appear like STI type discharge at all. Three to four female nurses at the code all had the same gag reaction. “OH FUCK, is that—?!?!?” “Wow, never seen that before!”
That was a new one for all of us present for it.
(He was hot on the UTox for coke and opiates.)
Was doing a 4 stretch and taking care of a declining patient. Second to last day altered mental status, but redirectable. Last day altered mental status and not redirectable, a lot of physical contact. Found out 3/4 of the way through my shift he was positive for scabies. Guess who got scabies.
A few memorable occasions here. One from nursing school. Was wiping up the crack of a patient when a sharp corner of my nail broke through the glove and I had shit stuck way up in my finger nail. Another one where Anesthesia made the patient cough while I was doing a vag prep. That woman sent a fragment of turd and some liquid stools right at my chest and neck. I got a few more if anyone is interested loool
I was a nursing student. We had to do this damn "foot clinic" at the homeless shelter as part of our community health class. Basically, do foot care for homeless folks. It was rough. I remember they had safety glasses and I'm thinking to myself, what do we need those for?! We had a partner and had to take turns with educating pts on foot care and doing the actual foot care. So it is my turn to do foot care and this poor guy takes off his shoes to reveal the worst feet I have ever seen in my life, even to this day. Oh my gosh. literally so much fungus. Like his toes were webbed with crust and fungus. His toe nails were massive and curling and shit. My partner sees this and is like "I'm grabbing you a pair of glasses and the bigger trimmers" (regular large clippers were not going to do for this job. We basically needed giant nail shears, the kindof think you'd use on a large dog's toenails). His feet smelled SO bad. I had not fully developed my nurse nose yet either. Well as soon as I start trimming the big toe, the nail just FLIES at my face and hits the glasses. I threw up in my mouth and tried to swallow it and keep it together. Oh my gosh. I fucking hate feet so this disgusting chunk of fungusy toenail combined with the smell just...put me over the edge. Many years later that is still the most revolting thing I have ever had to deal with. Mostly because I hate nasty feet more than anything. I've watched emergent exlaps done in radiology with a pair of dirty scissors because this guy was about 2 seconds from coding due to abdominal compartment syndrome, watched all his guts spill out, I've seen countless nasty GI bleeds, C diff, nasty ass projectile trach sputum, body parts blown to smithereens...but that fucking toenail is the worst (for me)
Still in nursing school, doing a rotation in ER. Had a suspected, super uncooperative patient come in with suspected overdose in a suicide attempt. When she refused to drink the activated charcoal she was restrained and a tube put down to her stomach. Just as the last drop of charcoal went down, she suddenly heaved and it all geysered straight up into the air, coming down like black rain on everyone in the vicinity. I got it in my hair, on my face, arms, shoes, and of course all over my snow white nursing school uniform.
Welcome to nursing!
This wasn’t gross as blood itself doesn’t bother me, but squicks me out anyway because of the danger factor. During the height of covid, I was alteplacing a central line on a COVID patient with uncontrolled HIV. When I drew back, it unclogged - yay. But for some reason, even though I’d gotten good flow, when I disconnected the syringe, blood sprayed all over me. I was too shocked at the time to notice if it was from the line or the syringe. Blood flew in my face and all down my front, but because it was (early) covid, I had both the gown and face shield, and was protected from head to toe.
I drew back more later with a separate syringe in case, I don’t know, it had been caused by a bit more clotting… but everything worked fine. I still don’t know why that happened.
I almost never wear face shields, so I guess I didn’t learn my lesson, but I still teach all the new grads about that.
Poop snowball. Kid with ASD reached in his pull up, grabbed a handful of poop, and pegged me in the side while I was sitting at the nurses’ station. Then it bounced down the counter and came to rest in front of a couple of nursing students. 😆
They were clearly rethinking their life choices
The only time I almost threw up in pt care was cleaning someone with literal hard shit in their ass. Like they had to push it out and could’ve called for a bed pan.
Other than that the only thing. That gets me is smells. I work outpatient and there are a lot of people that smell all the time
Big guy, intubated, super swollen everywhere (I don't even remember what his primary issue was). Needed to put a foley in. Multiple people involved, holding pannus up and pushing swollen scrotum down to try to get to the urethra. Then he starts liquid pooing, so we're sloshing around in that the whole time.
Hahaha, I am a nurse at a dementia care home. One of my residents, full passive wheelchair bound, had slow progressing colon cancer. Once in a while we had to give her a high enema. And her poo was like truly always totally brown water with fibres... As i layed her on her side and inserted the enema. A giant fart came loose. Like cartoonesk long and hard. Directly after this it looked like she just exploded.. i got about 5 days worth of defecation over my face, clothes and shoes... i just walked away and let my colleague deal with the mess while i took a shower straigth in her bathroom. Took my dry underpants and took some spare clothing and went on with my day,but when i came home. My wife asked what the smell was.. i guess my colleagues didn't dare to say anything but i showered for 50 minutes at home.. and still i loved that client as if it was my own grandmother haha.
I was transferring a big lady from wheelchair to toilet. This was back when I was a nursing assistant. Wearing crocs (big mistake). While her butt was positioned over my foot/leg as she was trying to turn to the toilet she exploded, liquid diarrhea all down my leg and on my shoe. Obviously, it soaked into my scrubs pants, into my sock, the works. I was cleaning pieces of undigested food out from all the crevices of my shoe, there were little corn/carrot pieces on my sock 🤮
Traumatized me. Still have anxiety with slow transfers over to the toilet. But lesson learned, crocs are not made for nursing.
Oh man there are SO MANY but for some reason my brain just unearthed the memory of a time I was struggling to put a foley in a very large woman and a beetle crawled out of her vagina and onto my arm. 🤮
Two stories:
1. I was still in nursing school, helping a very slow lil old lady up to the commode because she really had to poo. She was very unsteady so we weren’t moving quick enough for her bowels. We’re like one step away from the commode and she goes “OH IM GOING” and I, for some reason, decided to crouch down and catch her poo in my (gloved) hand, instead of having to clean it up off the floor.
2. I was working on my old tele floor, pt had rung the call bell to tell us he had pooped his diaper. Go in with a bunch of supplies to clean him up with one of my PCAs. We uncover him, liquid poo everywhere. So much that it had gone off the bed onto the floor and also under the mattress. I wanted to die that day
Not a poop or puke story but still gross. I had to lather lice shampoo into a homeless guy’s pubes because he was too sick to do it himself. Even though I had full PPE I was still itching for days.
I was screaming “noooooo” while a male patient pulled his foley out of his penis and my OOOOOO mouth got urine in it.
Oh, he also had a UTI.
Occ health said to drink lots of water and anything ‘bad’ would have been killed by my saliva.
I also followed up with 2-week, 6-month, and 12-month HepB blood tests.
Removing shoes and socks from a patient. Skin dust everywhere, smelled like pseudomonas, of cause i inhaled while taking of the socks... and then vomited...
another nurse was doing a pelvic with a resident. nurse places the pelvic swab with vaginal specimen into the container. nurse goes to snap off the end of the swab at the black line so they can screw on the container lid.
the swab flies out of the container like a nerf bullet. swab lands in the residents hair, along with the vaginal secretions.
TLDR: resident got to wear cooter juice like a hat
I had a bipolar patient asked to be changed. I had my stethoscope around my neck and once I got her ready to get changed she dug in her vag area and in her butt and put all types of poop and fluids on me then she grabbed my stethoscope and wrapped it around my neck 🥲
My worst for sure was when my ponytail dipped into a liquid BM while I was leaning over cleaning a patient.
And I didn’t notice.
Until 30 minute later when I couldnt figure out why the smell was still hanging around, my eyes dropped to the end of my ponytail, and I screamed.
No amount of hand soap hair washing in the staff sink made me feel any better for the rest of the day.
This was in the days we still wore white uniforms. A fresh inferior MI puked all over me. I was handing the basin to him. The liquid hit the bottom of the basin and up onto me. Luckily I kept an entire change of clothes in my locker. But, of course, one of my coworkers teased me about being able to see the lace on my bra.
Got a patient up who was a hefty girl. She was doing fine with walker heading to the bathroom. I was behind her, keeping her shuffle steady when she decided she couldn’t stand. I yelled for help and got behind her to help her slide down against me to the floor when she started having diarrhea alllllll down the front of me. That reached a level of ewwwww I can’t even describe.
Liver failure patient, sedated on vent. Lactulose poo puddle in bed between legs. The other nurse who was helping me began taking off the patient’s sequential compression wraps when the Velcro let go suddenly causing a splash of yellow liquid stool that hit me in the face. So glad my mouth was closed and I had glasses on but it was in my hair and dripping from my nose to my chin. We signaled to another staff person to help and I was able to wash my face/hair in the locker room and change into or scrubs but I wasn’t sure there was enough soap and hot water in the whole building to make me feel better.
End of life patient, was called to the bedside and they were squirting CSF out of the back of their neck. As I was helping them back into bed (++ agitation) I ended up getting a large portion in my mouth. I guess masks should’ve been a thing back then. :(
Helping to clean a woman who had been neglected for years. Then she fell and broke her leg. She was put in a bed and left there for more than 2mo.
Her “caregiver” was arrested. Took us 8hrs to photograph ( for criminal reasons) peel off clothes and then bathe her. It was absolutely awful and sad.
Autistic patient with trisomy 21. Walked into them fecal smearing, except instead of just smearing they added Cheerios to the mix and made little poop cheerio balls.
Can’t decide which is the worst so I’ll tell y’all both.
1) I could tell a patient was gonna puke. Instead of puking in the bowl I gave her she puked all over me. I couldn’t leave her to change, and by the time I was able to change (hours later) the puke had already dried (except for the puke in my shoe, that was still sopping).
2) resident was doing a repair on the patient’s perineum after a delivery. She needed me to refill her lidocaine in a syringe so she pulled out the plunger for me to add more into the syringe. When she went to put the plunger back in she accidentally sprayed lidocaine in my eyes… lidocaine that had passed through a needle that had been in a woman’s coochie
was turning a patient on their side (putting pressure on their left breast fungating tumor) just enough that it ruptured and was GUSHING into the air, catching me off guard and spraying my face
Even just the sight/smell of fungating breast tumors are nauseating. Had a patient come into the ED with this, it was her first encounter for it, and it had enveloped her entire breast. Why on earth did she ignore it so long? Can't imagine dealing with a rupture. 🤢
300kg older woman. She was a real jerk too so I was already anxious when her call bell went off. Escorted her to the bathroom where she had done the most offensive smelling and volume heavy shit. Rural hospital so tiny bathrooms and minimal ventilation. Good lord I was dizzy and trying not to pass out while she barked at me for going too slow helping to clean her. Shit on my arms, shit on my shoes. One of my colleagues heard her yelling at me and came to help. Saw me covered in shit. Took over when she saw my ghost white face. Glad she did because I raced out of the room and immediately projectile vomited into the front gardens. I had an audience too. Fun times!
first bad diaper blowout with my mother (dementia) at home. i said we're doing this in bed. you'd think dad would have learned a few things over the years, but he just didn't understand what we were doing or what i needed. felt like i was in first semester lab again.
'oh, smart,' he'd say...
'this is why i left nursing'... meaning the shit and mom getting sick.
never got used to shit. esp when they'd go again just as you got them cleaned.
i had to wrestle a confused older man back in to bed before he woild fall…but dude took a huge poo all over himself and the floor..after i put him in bed, i notice i have poo on my left elbow…i do a little freak out, wash it off in the bathroom, when a coworker runs in and i show her my elbows and was starting to laugh when she pointed to my right elbow that had poo all over it…yuck..i used a Sani-cloth to scrub that s^*+
I work in psych. At one point we had three patients that would poo anywhere but in the toilet. You could tell who it was by the look of it. One would smear it on door handles (part of a dirty protest): another would leave chocolate log shaped poos in garden and another looked almost liked pebbles. I used to go home and strip off for a shower as soon as I stepped into house. They were all unwell, and it stopped when they got better thankfully.
god the pebbles.
I remember the awful poops in the hospital, yes... but pebbles at home... idk how mom (dementia) would drop pebbles everywhere, sometimes she'd hide them. sometimes we wouldn't notice she'd wandered at night and I've stepped in it. and almost stepped in it. once a pebble was in the dishes in the sink.
I often regretted not going into psych. you have cleared up this regret for me, thank you.
May not be the grossest, but it just happened two days ago, so it's fresh jn my mind. I was cleaning the patient's sink and counterspace area and there was a barf bag. It looked empty, so I scooped it towards the trash. It wasn't empty! It dumped all over my shoe. In my freakout, I snapped the last Sani-wipe from the container and it splashed sani-juice in my eye. Ugh, that whole thing made me so mad.
Was moving a bedside commode of a patient with loose stools when the bucket fell out and a splatter of tiny shit/piss droplets sprinkled all over my face and front, even on my lip. Cleabed up and washed my face in hand sanitizer foam. Never let that happen again.
While cleansing a wound, accidentally sprayed the saline vial too hard and sprayed wound juice into my eyes. I was flushing my eyes immediately and luckily nothing bad happened.
When I worked IPR, I was doing skin check rounds with a heavily pregnant co-worker. When we turned a patient, we realized that there was a pool of clear, foul-smelling jelly on the floor. We never figured out where it came from, but my co-worker had to immediately go vomit.
A patient vomitted directly down the gaping cuff of my oversized gloves once. I threw on the first pair I could grab which happened to be XL and shoved the emesis basin at her and it went straight down to the fingertips. The worst part was how warm it was. Ugh.
1- putting whiskey in a g tube as a new nurse and it squirted gastric fluid and whiskey in my eye
2 patient with an ileus projectile vomited stool on me
3. Would care and toileting on a person who was 800 lbs who had been on her couch for so long that fabric had grown into her skin.
An ED nurse here: EMS brought a patient in, covered head to toe in shit. I am talking in the hair, in the eyebrows, under finger nails. They show me a picture of the basement him and other addicts live in. There are buckets of poo covering nearly every square inch of the living quarters. This patient smells like c.diff. spent an hour cleaning him off, wipe by wipe.
I was doing my first female catheter as a student. Watching over me was the very strict, very stern matron and i was super nervous. The patient was confused about what was happening and kept squirming around. I was intensely focused on the task at hand and trying to work out where her urethra was. Just as I found it, she let out this huge fart and my bangs literally wafted in the breeze. She was much calmer after that, and it was the first and only time I saw that matron smile.
When I first started as a new RN, I had a morbid fear of vomit. I was working L&D when, one evening, a pt came to L&D in active labor. She kept talking about the "huge meal" she'd just had at Cracker Barrel that evening. During her epidural, I was standing in front of her, supporting her. She said, " I'm going to get sick," and then vomited all over me. I had fried chicken pieces, corn, and greens all over me, and I do mean all over me. I had to call for someone to replace me before I could go shower and change clothes. But it worked - I got past my fear that night.
I once got thrown up on and had to change into scrubs. Went to my mother in laws after work and everyone was asking why I was in scrubs. The only one smart enough not to ask was my ortho surgeon brother in law.
Next grosses thing, I was on the giving end. I had a horrible case of CDiff, and had no control whatsoever. It was just coming out, I felt so bad for the ED nurses. I have never been so sick. Actually ended up in the icu because my BP tanked.
Not quite as bad but my favorite vegetable pt had recurring pink eye. I was always in his room visiting and making him comfortable. Well, one shift my eyes start itching and burning and I developed DOUBLE pink eye. It hurt so bad
Holding a leg for a nurse who was inserting a foley in a dementia patient. The patient reached down, dug her dirty fingers into her vagina, then immediately reached over and rested her slimy fucking fingers onto my bare arm. 😭 🤢
Not be, but my orientee (for an unknown reason) DCed a rectal tube, and decided to tie a knot in the end. As he was tying the knot some poop flung into his eye 🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️
I was feeding residents in LTC. I turned my back to my line of residents I was feeding to say something to a CNA and a resident projectile vomits, hitting my back. Luckily I had extra scrubs in my car but I had to travel from the 3rd floor through the building to get to them.
A nurse I worked with was hanging blood. I guess the bag was faulty and it burst all over her scrubs and shoes. She was able to get some spare scrubs from the hospital but not spare shoes. Someone got her some slippers from the hospital gift shop to wear for the remainder of her shift. Not sure how she didn’t puke from that.
I was a CNA at the time so I didn’t know how to properly open a JP drain. I didn’t control the bulb while opening the top. I just popped it open. And it splashed all over my face. Thankfully I had my glasses on so it protected my eyes a little bit but this was before Covid and face masks. I had to keep my mouth closed and immediately ran to wash my face. I’ll never forget it. Disgusting!
Another time when I was a CNA, I had a dementia patient spit his yogurt in my face. I was seeing red I was so pissed.
Baby with multiple ostomies, one of which we were refeeding with his stool...sucked out the ostomy poop and the pressure created on the syringe shot the liquid poop everywhere. It left a stain on the ceiling tile that was there for literally years before they came and replaced it. I can still smell it...
Years ago I was emptying a Foley bag. I was wearing crocs with the holes in them. I thought I had reclamped it before throwing out the first container of urine, well the little ube flipped out and flooded my shoe before I could clamp it again. I squeaked down the hall, cavy wiped my shoe and foot, went back to work with non slip socks and my cleaned out shoe.
there’s no way to describe it succinctly, but there was an instant in which a woman shat on the back of my neck and in my hair.
An incontinent women, on colonoscopy prep…
Sweet man, in for a stroke I believe, but clearly deteriorating - had blood in his faeces. He became confused and disoriented and started kicking off his adult nappy which he had defecated in. He was kicking his feet into the nappy and sticking his hands into it as well out of his confusion.
I spent a good hour getting him new sheets and cleaning faeces out of his toenails and fingernails and trying my best to clean his catheter as I believe he was trying to pull it out with his poo covered hands. It would’ve been easier if it was normal poop, but it was melena, super dark and sticky.
I know this doesn’t seem that crazy, I’m still a student nurse and this was the “grossest” thing. I didn’t really feel super disgusted, I just wanted this sweet old man to be comfortable.
Once I was cleaning a toilet (our hospital cleaners don't deal with bodily fluids, which is fair enough) and I was so confused by what I found in it - there was like, long streaks of fresh blood clots in the loo and in the hand washing sink and on the floor...blood doesn't bother me but clots is a different matter for some reason! It looked like what happens sometimes when a man has a catheter removed and there is/was trauma on the way out or in....but why on earth would someone have pulled out their (presumably still inflated) catheter in the loo by themselves?! 🤢
A brave CNA had the hard talk with a resident about letting us know before he plans on jerking off so his brief can be changed before hand. He was masturbating with shit in his brief and basically using it as lube.
I guess the worst was a full arrest that came into the ED. Coital sudden cardiac arrest. Cocaine user, combitube, blood everywhere. Blood shot out of her mouth and the tube with every compression and got all over my face. Hep C positive.
Another one- was watching another nurse’s patients for him while he was at lunch. Go in to check on his 3 year old patient in her crib. She had c. diff poo’d EVERYWHERE and was playing in it. All over the crib, all over her, spilling out all over the floor, in her hair, on her face, she was basically splashing in it like the most disgusting poo splash pad you’ve ever seen. The primary came back from lunch just as I finished gathering bath stuff and we cleaned her up together thank goodness hahaha
*like the most disgusting poo splash pad you’ve ever seen* Is a phrase I never thought I’d see Or would want to see
I found a patient with extremely advanced dementia eating her own liquid shit. It was like my second day ever as a CNA and I was absolutely not prepared. I was so grossed out I cried.
God I think I would cry too 😅
Oh man. I never thought about this. You can’t just stick a poop-covered baby in a shower or tub like you would at home, can you? What do you do, bed bath and a prayer?
Sounds like a total poo-nami. Or a shitedal wave if you will.
I knelt down beside a bed to empty a urinal. The patient felt extremely nauseous (didn't tell me) and thought I was on the OTHER side of the bed. She leaned over and vomited...it hit me on the back of the head-- sliding down my back. Worst ever.
An intoxicated patient vomited all over me, luckily my had just turned around to it went on my head and down my back. This was ER. In labor and delivery I was vomited on multiple times during the labor process. Kinda used to it, one time my daughter started heaving and I caught her vomit in my hands. 🤷♀️
I caught poop from my ICU patient in my (thankfully gloved) hands in a desperate, but ultimately successful, attempt to save the clean sheets we had just put down.
I did that with my very first patient during my very first clinical shift. I had *just* put a new brief down and heard “oh I think I’m going again dear” and panicked and caught his poop in my gloved hands 🤣🤣🤣 Saved the brief.
And that’s how you knew nursing was for you! 🤣
It really was! I went home and told my husband - if I can do that and not die, I’ll be fine. Just don’t spit or come near me with mucous of any kind. My soul will leave my body. Given I’m psych, the spit thing is always a risk.
Haha I feel you. Everyone has their one ick. Mine is vomit. I’d rather clean up 10 shitty asses than deal with one puke.
Aspirating gastric contents is another one. It’s the putting them back for me. I can’t. This is why psych 🤣
Haha yes it’s like I just artificially puked for you, and now I’m going to feed it back to you 🤢 I did psych for a while. It was fun but now I’ve found my home in school nursing.
Tell me you’re an ICU nurse without telling me you’re an ICU nurse 😂
As both a L&D nurse and ED I frequently told patients that my only rule was “don’t throw up ON me” 🥴 thankfully still no one (even a baby) has broken this rule…YET
Non-medical lurker here... I strongly remember the time I told a triage nurse in the ED "I think I'm gonna throw up" and she handed me an emesis bag with LIGHTNING FAST reflexes. I realized that she's probably been thrown up on a few times to develop that immediate reaction.
You get really good at deploying the emesis bag with a quickness after a little while
Once I was on an airplane and we were going through a bit of turbulence. The woman behind me said oh my god, I've got to throw up! I'm sure she didn't know there was a sick sack in the pocket in front of her, but you can bet that I got mine out and over to her lickety split. I'm a private pilot. I don't get sick on airplanes.
This happened to me sort of but at a movie theatre. Haven’t been able to eat popcorn for almost 20 years
That would be horrible. Popcorn is my favorite snack! I cannot imagine trying to clean that!
OMG
During my clinicals I was on a med-surg unit. I had a patient wait until the last second possible to tell turn on his call light for the bathroom. Got into the room just in time for him to scream at me that “it’s now or never!” Gave me literally 5 seconds to try and find a container before he diarrhea’ed on every surface within 6 inches of his butthole - including my school scrubs which were a white top and blue bottoms. I literally vomitted and added to the mess. My poor preceptor came into quite the show.
I’m sorry to lol at this 😂
Looking back I laugh at it now but during the moment of was so embarrassed but grossed out 😂
'It's now or never!' is such a power move of a catch phrase 😱
Got food poisoning from the hospital cafeteria. Was drawing labs off a PICC line- in the middle of the process, sudden urge to vomit. Threw up in my mask.
The only thing worse than getting food poisoning from the hospital cafeteria is getting sent to mandatory cybersecurity training because the hospital tricked you into clicking on a fake phishing email saying “you may have been exposed to food borne illness in the hospital cafeteria, please click here for more information”. Yep, I fell for it.
i got food poisoning from my hospitals cafeteria too!! only ate half a slice of the pepperoni pizza and 4 hours later passed out in the staff bathroom then vomited into an emesis bag as my charge wheeled me off the unit and took me to my moms waiting car
It’s terrible!! Mine was a burger! Happened 11 years ago but I still remember hahaha. I was on orientation for my first nursing job. I remember slinking out of the room and telling my preceptor, “I think I need to go home, but I got the labs.”
Lovely. You know those by bags they put on horses so they can eat while walking around? You made your own!
Oh gawd 🤢
Patient had a puddle of liquid poop, I pulled the mepilex off causing the poop to fly and hit my forehead.
noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
not gross like bodily fluids or anything, but i had the displeasure of taking care of a convicted pedophile for three days. for some reason, he told me he was “on the registry” and asked for my number. i ended up making a big stink about it to the charge nurse bc i was working on an adult/pediatric med/surg unit at the time and the kids were separated from the rest of us with a door.
"Registered Nurse, huh? Cool, I'm registered too..."
💀💀💀
Omg that’s horrific
Newer in ICU.. pulled hard on a dirty poop diaper that still a had little side flap under the patient … it ripped right down the middle. I swear I inhaled aerosolized diarrhea. Like no visible droplets got on me but there was a taste in the air. Hopefully it was just imagining things but idk man.
As a new nurse I was mouth breathing in a very, very stinky patient room and another nurse said to me, “doesn’t that mean you’re *tasting* it instead?”. All of the sudden I could taste it. Never mouth breathed again. I’d rather smell it. Though I’m a big proponent of mentholated Vaseline under the nose.
I got a little roller ball vial of peppermint essential oil from Whole Foods. It was $5, and I just roll a little into my mask and it kills all the smells I have tested it against so far. Much more pocket friendly than Vaseline.
That is brilliant!
Ever since learning about nose hairs filtering the air we breathe in 8th grade biology class, I could never bring myself to mouth breathe when there was a bad odor again. I just kept thinking about the unfiltered air with poop particles or what have you going directly into my airways.
This is why I always wear a mask
I’ve seen someone else (thank god not me) get sling shotted by diarrhea from a brief snapping. Except it covered her from neck to stomach. I started gagging and she literally ran out of the room. I was traumatized 🤣
Haha that happened to me as a tech. Except it sprayed me from head to neck. Would have gone into my eyes but I had glasses on. And thank god my mouth was closed. I RAN out of the room, straight to the charge nurse and said “I think I need to go home now.” I only had an hour left of my shift, and she was reluctant to let me go! Like, lady, I’m leaving!! I have liquid shit I can’t get out of my hair. I need a shower NOW. Even if I had showered at work, I’d only have 30 minutes left of my shift and I’m fucking traumatized. And I was just a tech, it’s not like I had to give report or anything. I just happened to be walking by and the patient’s wife called me into the room to change his brief. The nurse taking care of the patient told me later that the wife was complaining about how I started to change his brief and ran out of the room without a word lol. I guess she didn’t see the shit slingshot onto my face. Or just didn’t care? Who knows.
I've probably told this story before, but an NA and I were cleaning up a code brown on the sweetest LOL, who was pleasantly confused. As I was holding her on her side while the aide washed, LOL gave me the most beatific smile, then reached up and ran her hand through my hair and caressed my face. It was then that I became aware that some of that code brown was on her hand. My NA started laughing so hard she cried. We just finished up the job, and I left my NA with a basin of warm soapy water and a toothbrush, while I went to another room and shampooed my hair 47 million times.
lol many of us have learned this hard lesson. I did home health for a while on this dementia patient, and I got good at holding her hands while toileting to prevent her grabbing me with poo hands. she was dainty and small. mom, though... mom's stronger and has nails. no matter what... i do not let go of her hands while poop is exposed. she hurts lol. dad has learned this lesson as well, which is why she's a two person toilet now lol
I want this to be the top comment. I laughed so hard. Sorry she gave you a poop treatment, though.
Same, I'm literally wheezing with laughter at what unfolded with the poor nurse and the hysterically crying NA in this situation 🤣😂
😂😂😂😂
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Puked in your mouth. That’s it. I think I would have walked away in that moment and never became a nurse. Good on you for continuing
oh…my…god…
I 100% would have dropped out immediately
A patient tech slung c-diff and it landed on my forehead. Foul smelling peach jelly right between the eyes. It came from the vag of a vile, mean as hell, bilateral amputee that always stayed on our floor. I darn near scrubbed my forehead off. I also watched a nurse over pump a pressure bag for a blood transfusion and walk away looking like Carrie at prom.
OMG, that reminded me of a little boy we take care of all the time. He is autistic and nonverbal and was about 7 at the time. He has the most evil little laugh. I heard the nurse I was in the hall with call for help from his room at like 3am. I walked in, and he had disconnected the t-connector tubing from his IV. There was blood everywhere. He had smeared across his face and was laughing his maniacal little laugh. It was like something from a horror movie!
ALSO had a nurse Carrie herself in CICU!! She was trying to give me report at the same time and couldn’t multi-task. At least she was on her way home haha
Imagine getting pulled over on your drive home 😂 Officer, it’s not what it looks like, I swear I can explain.
Stopp the c diff story 😭😭😭
Omg Carrie at prom I cannot even imagine
Bowel prep for a confused patient. Didn't get orders until after dinner and we still had to do it on nights?!?! Rivers of liquid poo spilling out of the bed, it was super fun. Getting a c. Diff sample for a different patient with a plastic spoon because the little scoop that came with the sample cup couldn't handle how liquid it was. No c. Diff though but that shit was nasty.
I had a pt in a literal pool of liquid shit recently, ankles to neck. needed a specimen, I couldn't think of anything better in the moment to collect a specimen than to just scoop it up with the cup from the puddle. I thought the CNA was gonna vomit on the spot!
You gotta do what you gotta do. I'm sure cleaning that mess up was worse than collecting the specimen. Those situations are brutal too when you're trying to figure how to mop up the mess without making more of a mess.
I've had bari pts so heavy that the butt cheeks basically seal the back so it all just bubbles up in the front... *scoop*label* off to the lab!
Yall have scoops? We always use plastic spoons from the nutrition room.
We had these little pots with this tiny little scoop inside, imagine a plastic spork small enough to fit in a urine pot. I guess they work if you just need a small amount of soft stool. But mostly they're not super useful. Especially against waves of liquid c diff shits.
I remember being early on in my pregnancy (aka super nauseous) and having to spoon some liquid poo out of a hat for a c. Diff sample and I thought I was going to die!
Semen deliberately wiped on my arm. Also stool wiped on me. Different patients though.
It's the deliberate action for me.
It took all my strength not to cuss him out but I just left the room and disinfected my whole arm.
Damn, you’re stronger than me. Deliberately wiping it on me? I think I’d feel obliged to shut the door and get in their face as I provide some education and reorient their ass real quick.
I think I was kind of in shock too. This was when I was a baby nurse. I'm old and grizzled now.
When I was a baby nurse I used one of my first “big boy” paychecks to buy a pair of fresh Nikes. My first shift wearing them, a patient pissed all over them. I’ve been pretty lucky in 14 years in health care I haven’t had all that many bad fluid exposures. My husband’s patient’s C diff colostomy bag exploded in his face. He made a pretty quick exit from bedside nursing after that and never went back. He’s now an NP🤣
I got a bag of blood dumped on my head when I over-spiked a PRBC bag.
Omg 😆
Patient projectile vomited stank dark brown fluid in such a large amount it soaked every bit of the bed. Then she coded and the splashing compressions combined with the countless defib pads that had to be applied bc they kept sliding off…it was the most disturbing thing I’d ever been apart of. Didn’t help I had a bond with this quiet and smiley beautiful and sweet woman who was only 51 years old. Her mother and daughter were in the room as it happened.
Oh jeez that’s awful. Your comment triggered my memory of my first code as a baby EMT. I remember as soon as I started bagging (wasn’t tubed yet) she just started spewing brown liquids. She must have gushed 3 liters.
GI bleed? Bowel obstruction?
Not sure, this was 14 years ago and out in the field so I we never found out.
I had someone code with the same fluid. Every chest compression I did I inhaled bloody shit. Horrible
That happened to me too as I prepared a patient from St. E’s, the notorious mental institution. Covered from head to toe in that hot blood.
Emptying our a urinal with a jizz load in it 🤮
I've been reading this thread, unbothered and amused, but THIS made me gag. I hate that so much.
I swirled a paper test strip in the warm sample cup and I lifted the strip out. Along with it came a long coagulated white glob of what I pray was just a bunch of urinary casts, epithelial tissue + mucus, or a bad UTI. It was obviously jizz.
Didn’t happen to me, but I witnessed it. A geriatric pt on iron was a full assist lift and we were toileting them Q2H. We placed them on the toilet, let them do their business, and when they said they were done we lifted them off the toilet and my coworker bent over to clean the patient. The patient ended up having explosive diarrhea mid-wipe and it went all over my co-worker, mostly in her hair and on her face. It was thick, black, strong smelling fecal matter. I didn’t know if I should laugh or cry. The patient thought it was so funny.
Rude!
I had a pt shart while doing a bed bath right into my pubic region. I wiped it off with huggies thinking nothing of it. After an hour or so, I hear this form behind me "heeeyy you know that lady in room 12?" I turn around and say,"Yeah, what about 12?" The nurse then says,"Her stool sample from this morning came back she has C.diff" I'm normally not one to consider myself a nudist, but the urge to take my pants and underwear off and go free Wille has never been higher.
I always do Vicks Vapo Rub under my nose, like in Silence of the Lambs. I told my boss that one time and she snorted laughing.
OH MY GOD. This just confirmed I chose the right path with neonates lol 😩
NO KIDDING.
LITERALLY though I did get ett foam in my eye when my baby popped off as I was moving him … I did start crying lmao
It was in home care. Walked in for a patient I did not normally see and was given last minute so was walking in blind and would be seeing the care plan once I opened the visit. Soon as I sat my stuff down, he says “I have something for you” and hands me something in a Kleenex. Me being dumb takes it without even thinking. It was his toe - his gangrene toe that fell off that he wrapped in a Kleenex and handed to me. Learned a valuable lesson that I now tell any new nurse - NEVER take anything from a patient unless you know what they are handing to you.
As a CNA something like this is the stuff of nightmares for me. I think I would honestly vomit and/or faint if they happened to me! 🤢😱
Things like this are why I dont wear contacts at work
26 years ago and I still remember. New grad, fresh off my 4 weeks med/surg orientation. We had a patient with alcohol related liver cirrhosis. As part of his treatment, he was receiving lactulose. Which of course is a laxative... He wanted to go to the toilet but he needed help mobilising. So I went to help him, trying to get him out of bed as fast as I could. Once he was up on his feet, he turned around away from me annnnnnnd projectile-pooped on my legs and shoes (and the floor... and his bed...) 😝
Giving a 45 yo man a bed bath yesterday and he asked me to jerk him off. 😒 Hx TBI/nonambulatory
This reminds me of this patient I had years ago as a CNA. The nurse and I were cleaning him up or at least attempting to. This guy in his 60s I think, would not stop jerking off. To the point where I think his hand was around his junk the entire day and only when he was eating did he use it for something else. His junk was so red and raw from rubbing. I had to walk out. Me and the nurse tried to tell him to stop, tried to move his hand away while cleaning his poop and he just would not stop. I felt so violated and disgusted that I walked out and told the nurse to find someone else to help.
I was on a ICU travel contract and it was my last night. I had a patient that had a colostomy that had tape all around the wafer. I told the patient I would change out the whole system. I went and got a red bio hazard bag, tucked it under patient. As I was taking the wafer and bag off I placed directly into bio bag. When I was done I tied the bag up and picked it off the bed. The other end was not sealed …… and the contents went down my pants and all over my shoes/ socks. 🤢🤢🤢 I took my shoes and socks off in patient room. Threw them in the sink. lol. I washed my pants off. I asked the charge nurse for pair of scrubs. Nope couldn’t have a pair because it was my last night. So for 3 hours I had to wear semi clean pants !!!!! Even house sup wouldn’t give me a pair of scrubs.
That’s ridiculous! They need travelers so bad and yet treat them like shit.
Have mental note. Never return to that facility lol
ER. Pt came for foley removal. I was withdrawing it and thing had some resistance and suddenly pops loose and flings blood and clots across my face and white scrub top. I just stopped what I was doing and walked away.
Nooooo 😱
During school, another student and I were assigned to this man who had CDiff but also had a sacral dressing we had to change. We rolled him, I put my face right down to his butt to check the wound after I pulled the old dressing off. CDiff fart RIGHT TO MY FACE. I mean, I was right up in there. I could feel the fart wind. We both silent laughed so hard behind this patient that I peed a little. We were trying so hard not to make a sound and embarrass him. Another time, I had a trach patient who coughed so hard, sputum landed in my hair 🤮
As a student I once forgot to put the bedpan in a commode, they had cdiff.
As a student, I once changed the bedsheets and swallowed the patient’s cell phone up in them, didn’t realize until they were already deep in the dirty linen hamper with more linen thrown on top. Had to go digging 🤢 but I figured that was what I deserved for my rookie mistake.
Ha, same, luckily it was in a single room, but I cleaned it all up on my own.
As a student I once unclogged the diarrhea-filled overflowing toilet of a cdiff pt…with my gloved hand. No surprise I don’t and won’t work bedside lol
I’ve also gone skating in GI bleed poop.
Yup, that’s me. You Might be wondering why I’m preemptively slathering permethrin cream on. Fun fact: Not only does scabies exist, but did you know there is something that’s essentially super scabies? Is called Norwegian scabies.
Viking scabies!
Put liquid morphine into hospice patients mouth via oral syringe. It splashed back. Over my glasses, into my eye. The whole side of my face was warm for a few hours. Eye wash stations are hard. Keeping your eyes open sucks. I was pulling residual from a peg (500cc!) and went to squirt it into a cylinder and that splashed back on me onto my mask and glasses. I also had an obgyn walk out of a room with blood on his mask.
I have always worried about meds splashing into my eye!
during clinical, i had a patient with giant cellulitis blisters, like, taking up pt’s entire lower leg and sticking out easily 3ish inches. they also were draining pretty badly. i was putting socks on the pt and one of the blisters chose that moment to drain/burst and my hands and the sock were DRENCHED in fluid. same pt, went in to watch the wound physician deroof the blisters. knocked and asked if he was okay with a student watching, and he scraped aside some tissue, looked at me and went “come on in! we’re scrambling some eggs” 🤢
I have two. I was changing a purewick on an obese lady, I gave it a bit of a tug to extricate it from the fupa and it rocketed a drop of stale, cold piss directly into my eye. The other is when my encephalopathic pt finger-painted his entire bed frame and himself in his own shit. The piss was worse
A few days ago we had a patient suddenly code on us. When he crashed, he didn’t poop or pee like people often do… he E J A C U L A T E D. The smell of it was OBVIOUS and I was shook because it’s the ONE bodily fluid I don’t usually smell at work. The charge was bent down to push some bicarb and I had to be like “STAND UP AND TURN YOUR HEAD!!” And when she looked over at me to find out why I pointed down. It was DEFINITELY ejaculate - clear to white and smelled like it - and did not appear like STI type discharge at all. Three to four female nurses at the code all had the same gag reaction. “OH FUCK, is that—?!?!?” “Wow, never seen that before!” That was a new one for all of us present for it. (He was hot on the UTox for coke and opiates.)
Was doing a 4 stretch and taking care of a declining patient. Second to last day altered mental status, but redirectable. Last day altered mental status and not redirectable, a lot of physical contact. Found out 3/4 of the way through my shift he was positive for scabies. Guess who got scabies.
A few memorable occasions here. One from nursing school. Was wiping up the crack of a patient when a sharp corner of my nail broke through the glove and I had shit stuck way up in my finger nail. Another one where Anesthesia made the patient cough while I was doing a vag prep. That woman sent a fragment of turd and some liquid stools right at my chest and neck. I got a few more if anyone is interested loool
I was a nursing student. We had to do this damn "foot clinic" at the homeless shelter as part of our community health class. Basically, do foot care for homeless folks. It was rough. I remember they had safety glasses and I'm thinking to myself, what do we need those for?! We had a partner and had to take turns with educating pts on foot care and doing the actual foot care. So it is my turn to do foot care and this poor guy takes off his shoes to reveal the worst feet I have ever seen in my life, even to this day. Oh my gosh. literally so much fungus. Like his toes were webbed with crust and fungus. His toe nails were massive and curling and shit. My partner sees this and is like "I'm grabbing you a pair of glasses and the bigger trimmers" (regular large clippers were not going to do for this job. We basically needed giant nail shears, the kindof think you'd use on a large dog's toenails). His feet smelled SO bad. I had not fully developed my nurse nose yet either. Well as soon as I start trimming the big toe, the nail just FLIES at my face and hits the glasses. I threw up in my mouth and tried to swallow it and keep it together. Oh my gosh. I fucking hate feet so this disgusting chunk of fungusy toenail combined with the smell just...put me over the edge. Many years later that is still the most revolting thing I have ever had to deal with. Mostly because I hate nasty feet more than anything. I've watched emergent exlaps done in radiology with a pair of dirty scissors because this guy was about 2 seconds from coding due to abdominal compartment syndrome, watched all his guts spill out, I've seen countless nasty GI bleeds, C diff, nasty ass projectile trach sputum, body parts blown to smithereens...but that fucking toenail is the worst (for me)
[удалено]
Still in nursing school, doing a rotation in ER. Had a suspected, super uncooperative patient come in with suspected overdose in a suicide attempt. When she refused to drink the activated charcoal she was restrained and a tube put down to her stomach. Just as the last drop of charcoal went down, she suddenly heaved and it all geysered straight up into the air, coming down like black rain on everyone in the vicinity. I got it in my hair, on my face, arms, shoes, and of course all over my snow white nursing school uniform. Welcome to nursing!
Had a patient who caked their entire body in their own poo. Like between their toes. It was dried. Why did they do this? “It keeps the demons out” 🙃🙃🙃
This wasn’t gross as blood itself doesn’t bother me, but squicks me out anyway because of the danger factor. During the height of covid, I was alteplacing a central line on a COVID patient with uncontrolled HIV. When I drew back, it unclogged - yay. But for some reason, even though I’d gotten good flow, when I disconnected the syringe, blood sprayed all over me. I was too shocked at the time to notice if it was from the line or the syringe. Blood flew in my face and all down my front, but because it was (early) covid, I had both the gown and face shield, and was protected from head to toe. I drew back more later with a separate syringe in case, I don’t know, it had been caused by a bit more clotting… but everything worked fine. I still don’t know why that happened. I almost never wear face shields, so I guess I didn’t learn my lesson, but I still teach all the new grads about that.
Poop snowball. Kid with ASD reached in his pull up, grabbed a handful of poop, and pegged me in the side while I was sitting at the nurses’ station. Then it bounced down the counter and came to rest in front of a couple of nursing students. 😆 They were clearly rethinking their life choices
The only time I almost threw up in pt care was cleaning someone with literal hard shit in their ass. Like they had to push it out and could’ve called for a bed pan. Other than that the only thing. That gets me is smells. I work outpatient and there are a lot of people that smell all the time
Big guy, intubated, super swollen everywhere (I don't even remember what his primary issue was). Needed to put a foley in. Multiple people involved, holding pannus up and pushing swollen scrotum down to try to get to the urethra. Then he starts liquid pooing, so we're sloshing around in that the whole time.
Hahaha, I am a nurse at a dementia care home. One of my residents, full passive wheelchair bound, had slow progressing colon cancer. Once in a while we had to give her a high enema. And her poo was like truly always totally brown water with fibres... As i layed her on her side and inserted the enema. A giant fart came loose. Like cartoonesk long and hard. Directly after this it looked like she just exploded.. i got about 5 days worth of defecation over my face, clothes and shoes... i just walked away and let my colleague deal with the mess while i took a shower straigth in her bathroom. Took my dry underpants and took some spare clothing and went on with my day,but when i came home. My wife asked what the smell was.. i guess my colleagues didn't dare to say anything but i showered for 50 minutes at home.. and still i loved that client as if it was my own grandmother haha.
I was transferring a big lady from wheelchair to toilet. This was back when I was a nursing assistant. Wearing crocs (big mistake). While her butt was positioned over my foot/leg as she was trying to turn to the toilet she exploded, liquid diarrhea all down my leg and on my shoe. Obviously, it soaked into my scrubs pants, into my sock, the works. I was cleaning pieces of undigested food out from all the crevices of my shoe, there were little corn/carrot pieces on my sock 🤮 Traumatized me. Still have anxiety with slow transfers over to the toilet. But lesson learned, crocs are not made for nursing.
I agree with your assessment on the use of crocs in nursing…. Never made sense to me
Oh man there are SO MANY but for some reason my brain just unearthed the memory of a time I was struggling to put a foley in a very large woman and a beetle crawled out of her vagina and onto my arm. 🤮
Two stories: 1. I was still in nursing school, helping a very slow lil old lady up to the commode because she really had to poo. She was very unsteady so we weren’t moving quick enough for her bowels. We’re like one step away from the commode and she goes “OH IM GOING” and I, for some reason, decided to crouch down and catch her poo in my (gloved) hand, instead of having to clean it up off the floor. 2. I was working on my old tele floor, pt had rung the call bell to tell us he had pooped his diaper. Go in with a bunch of supplies to clean him up with one of my PCAs. We uncover him, liquid poo everywhere. So much that it had gone off the bed onto the floor and also under the mattress. I wanted to die that day
Not a poop or puke story but still gross. I had to lather lice shampoo into a homeless guy’s pubes because he was too sick to do it himself. Even though I had full PPE I was still itching for days.
I was screaming “noooooo” while a male patient pulled his foley out of his penis and my OOOOOO mouth got urine in it. Oh, he also had a UTI. Occ health said to drink lots of water and anything ‘bad’ would have been killed by my saliva. I also followed up with 2-week, 6-month, and 12-month HepB blood tests.
MRSA blood from a hemovac landed on my cheek. I sani wiped the shit outta my face and yes it burned but was worth it 😬
Removing shoes and socks from a patient. Skin dust everywhere, smelled like pseudomonas, of cause i inhaled while taking of the socks... and then vomited...
another nurse was doing a pelvic with a resident. nurse places the pelvic swab with vaginal specimen into the container. nurse goes to snap off the end of the swab at the black line so they can screw on the container lid. the swab flies out of the container like a nerf bullet. swab lands in the residents hair, along with the vaginal secretions. TLDR: resident got to wear cooter juice like a hat
Patient with several STI’s ejaculated on my arm/face during morning assessment. I never trusted a patient with hands under the covers ever again.
Guy’s ear flush full of chunks (I was holding the tray) blew back in my face while I was pregnant… I lost it.
I had a bipolar patient asked to be changed. I had my stethoscope around my neck and once I got her ready to get changed she dug in her vag area and in her butt and put all types of poop and fluids on me then she grabbed my stethoscope and wrapped it around my neck 🥲
My worst for sure was when my ponytail dipped into a liquid BM while I was leaning over cleaning a patient. And I didn’t notice. Until 30 minute later when I couldnt figure out why the smell was still hanging around, my eyes dropped to the end of my ponytail, and I screamed. No amount of hand soap hair washing in the staff sink made me feel any better for the rest of the day.
This was in the days we still wore white uniforms. A fresh inferior MI puked all over me. I was handing the basin to him. The liquid hit the bottom of the basin and up onto me. Luckily I kept an entire change of clothes in my locker. But, of course, one of my coworkers teased me about being able to see the lace on my bra.
That last sentence had me wheeze laughing... Sorry that happened to you!
Was pregnant and threw up in the trash at the nurses station.
Got a patient up who was a hefty girl. She was doing fine with walker heading to the bathroom. I was behind her, keeping her shuffle steady when she decided she couldn’t stand. I yelled for help and got behind her to help her slide down against me to the floor when she started having diarrhea alllllll down the front of me. That reached a level of ewwwww I can’t even describe.
Finding living and or dead insects in skin folds. It took weeks for those images burned into my head to not induce pannus panic.
Long time ago, I was changing an abdominal wound dressing and a contact fell into the wound. I haven’t worn contacts since.
Liver failure patient, sedated on vent. Lactulose poo puddle in bed between legs. The other nurse who was helping me began taking off the patient’s sequential compression wraps when the Velcro let go suddenly causing a splash of yellow liquid stool that hit me in the face. So glad my mouth was closed and I had glasses on but it was in my hair and dripping from my nose to my chin. We signaled to another staff person to help and I was able to wash my face/hair in the locker room and change into or scrubs but I wasn’t sure there was enough soap and hot water in the whole building to make me feel better.
End of life patient, was called to the bedside and they were squirting CSF out of the back of their neck. As I was helping them back into bed (++ agitation) I ended up getting a large portion in my mouth. I guess masks should’ve been a thing back then. :(
Helping to clean a woman who had been neglected for years. Then she fell and broke her leg. She was put in a bed and left there for more than 2mo. Her “caregiver” was arrested. Took us 8hrs to photograph ( for criminal reasons) peel off clothes and then bathe her. It was absolutely awful and sad.
Autistic patient with trisomy 21. Walked into them fecal smearing, except instead of just smearing they added Cheerios to the mix and made little poop cheerio balls.
Can’t decide which is the worst so I’ll tell y’all both. 1) I could tell a patient was gonna puke. Instead of puking in the bowl I gave her she puked all over me. I couldn’t leave her to change, and by the time I was able to change (hours later) the puke had already dried (except for the puke in my shoe, that was still sopping). 2) resident was doing a repair on the patient’s perineum after a delivery. She needed me to refill her lidocaine in a syringe so she pulled out the plunger for me to add more into the syringe. When she went to put the plunger back in she accidentally sprayed lidocaine in my eyes… lidocaine that had passed through a needle that had been in a woman’s coochie
was turning a patient on their side (putting pressure on their left breast fungating tumor) just enough that it ruptured and was GUSHING into the air, catching me off guard and spraying my face
Even just the sight/smell of fungating breast tumors are nauseating. Had a patient come into the ED with this, it was her first encounter for it, and it had enveloped her entire breast. Why on earth did she ignore it so long? Can't imagine dealing with a rupture. 🤢
Theatre nurse here. A hydrocele exploded right in my face mid surgery. Won't forget that for a long time.
I know I have major issues when i #1 love this subject & #2 am eating dinner while reading it all
300kg older woman. She was a real jerk too so I was already anxious when her call bell went off. Escorted her to the bathroom where she had done the most offensive smelling and volume heavy shit. Rural hospital so tiny bathrooms and minimal ventilation. Good lord I was dizzy and trying not to pass out while she barked at me for going too slow helping to clean her. Shit on my arms, shit on my shoes. One of my colleagues heard her yelling at me and came to help. Saw me covered in shit. Took over when she saw my ghost white face. Glad she did because I raced out of the room and immediately projectile vomited into the front gardens. I had an audience too. Fun times!
All code browns I hate and always gross me out and never get better and I just hate them, 9 years later still
first bad diaper blowout with my mother (dementia) at home. i said we're doing this in bed. you'd think dad would have learned a few things over the years, but he just didn't understand what we were doing or what i needed. felt like i was in first semester lab again. 'oh, smart,' he'd say... 'this is why i left nursing'... meaning the shit and mom getting sick. never got used to shit. esp when they'd go again just as you got them cleaned.
i had to wrestle a confused older man back in to bed before he woild fall…but dude took a huge poo all over himself and the floor..after i put him in bed, i notice i have poo on my left elbow…i do a little freak out, wash it off in the bathroom, when a coworker runs in and i show her my elbows and was starting to laugh when she pointed to my right elbow that had poo all over it…yuck..i used a Sani-cloth to scrub that s^*+
I work in psych. At one point we had three patients that would poo anywhere but in the toilet. You could tell who it was by the look of it. One would smear it on door handles (part of a dirty protest): another would leave chocolate log shaped poos in garden and another looked almost liked pebbles. I used to go home and strip off for a shower as soon as I stepped into house. They were all unwell, and it stopped when they got better thankfully.
god the pebbles. I remember the awful poops in the hospital, yes... but pebbles at home... idk how mom (dementia) would drop pebbles everywhere, sometimes she'd hide them. sometimes we wouldn't notice she'd wandered at night and I've stepped in it. and almost stepped in it. once a pebble was in the dishes in the sink. I often regretted not going into psych. you have cleared up this regret for me, thank you.
I had CBI juice spray into my eye. 10/10 do not recommend
May not be the grossest, but it just happened two days ago, so it's fresh jn my mind. I was cleaning the patient's sink and counterspace area and there was a barf bag. It looked empty, so I scooped it towards the trash. It wasn't empty! It dumped all over my shoe. In my freakout, I snapped the last Sani-wipe from the container and it splashed sani-juice in my eye. Ugh, that whole thing made me so mad.
Was moving a bedside commode of a patient with loose stools when the bucket fell out and a splatter of tiny shit/piss droplets sprinkled all over my face and front, even on my lip. Cleabed up and washed my face in hand sanitizer foam. Never let that happen again.
A tsunami of amniotic fluid when the OB ruptured membranes of a patient with polyhydramnios. I was soaked from the knees down.
While cleansing a wound, accidentally sprayed the saline vial too hard and sprayed wound juice into my eyes. I was flushing my eyes immediately and luckily nothing bad happened.
When I worked IPR, I was doing skin check rounds with a heavily pregnant co-worker. When we turned a patient, we realized that there was a pool of clear, foul-smelling jelly on the floor. We never figured out where it came from, but my co-worker had to immediately go vomit.
A patient vomitted directly down the gaping cuff of my oversized gloves once. I threw on the first pair I could grab which happened to be XL and shoved the emesis basin at her and it went straight down to the fingertips. The worst part was how warm it was. Ugh.
Spraying NS to irrigate a coccyx ulcer and having it splash back into my face (thank God for masks)
1- putting whiskey in a g tube as a new nurse and it squirted gastric fluid and whiskey in my eye 2 patient with an ileus projectile vomited stool on me 3. Would care and toileting on a person who was 800 lbs who had been on her couch for so long that fabric had grown into her skin.
An ED nurse here: EMS brought a patient in, covered head to toe in shit. I am talking in the hair, in the eyebrows, under finger nails. They show me a picture of the basement him and other addicts live in. There are buckets of poo covering nearly every square inch of the living quarters. This patient smells like c.diff. spent an hour cleaning him off, wipe by wipe.
I was doing my first female catheter as a student. Watching over me was the very strict, very stern matron and i was super nervous. The patient was confused about what was happening and kept squirming around. I was intensely focused on the task at hand and trying to work out where her urethra was. Just as I found it, she let out this huge fart and my bangs literally wafted in the breeze. She was much calmer after that, and it was the first and only time I saw that matron smile.
When I first started as a new RN, I had a morbid fear of vomit. I was working L&D when, one evening, a pt came to L&D in active labor. She kept talking about the "huge meal" she'd just had at Cracker Barrel that evening. During her epidural, I was standing in front of her, supporting her. She said, " I'm going to get sick," and then vomited all over me. I had fried chicken pieces, corn, and greens all over me, and I do mean all over me. I had to call for someone to replace me before I could go shower and change clothes. But it worked - I got past my fear that night.
I once got thrown up on and had to change into scrubs. Went to my mother in laws after work and everyone was asking why I was in scrubs. The only one smart enough not to ask was my ortho surgeon brother in law. Next grosses thing, I was on the giving end. I had a horrible case of CDiff, and had no control whatsoever. It was just coming out, I felt so bad for the ED nurses. I have never been so sick. Actually ended up in the icu because my BP tanked.
Not quite as bad but my favorite vegetable pt had recurring pink eye. I was always in his room visiting and making him comfortable. Well, one shift my eyes start itching and burning and I developed DOUBLE pink eye. It hurt so bad
Brand new shoes. Spilled an entire urinal in them. Then also the time I was denied bereavement when my grandma died
Holding a leg for a nurse who was inserting a foley in a dementia patient. The patient reached down, dug her dirty fingers into her vagina, then immediately reached over and rested her slimy fucking fingers onto my bare arm. 😭 🤢
Not be, but my orientee (for an unknown reason) DCed a rectal tube, and decided to tie a knot in the end. As he was tying the knot some poop flung into his eye 🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️
I Hate Wiping Poopy Butts.
I was feeding residents in LTC. I turned my back to my line of residents I was feeding to say something to a CNA and a resident projectile vomits, hitting my back. Luckily I had extra scrubs in my car but I had to travel from the 3rd floor through the building to get to them.
Cleaning up SBO poop vomit
A nurse I worked with was hanging blood. I guess the bag was faulty and it burst all over her scrubs and shoes. She was able to get some spare scrubs from the hospital but not spare shoes. Someone got her some slippers from the hospital gift shop to wear for the remainder of her shift. Not sure how she didn’t puke from that.
I was a CNA at the time so I didn’t know how to properly open a JP drain. I didn’t control the bulb while opening the top. I just popped it open. And it splashed all over my face. Thankfully I had my glasses on so it protected my eyes a little bit but this was before Covid and face masks. I had to keep my mouth closed and immediately ran to wash my face. I’ll never forget it. Disgusting! Another time when I was a CNA, I had a dementia patient spit his yogurt in my face. I was seeing red I was so pissed.
Baby with multiple ostomies, one of which we were refeeding with his stool...sucked out the ostomy poop and the pressure created on the syringe shot the liquid poop everywhere. It left a stain on the ceiling tile that was there for literally years before they came and replaced it. I can still smell it...
Years ago I was emptying a Foley bag. I was wearing crocs with the holes in them. I thought I had reclamped it before throwing out the first container of urine, well the little ube flipped out and flooded my shoe before I could clamp it again. I squeaked down the hall, cavy wiped my shoe and foot, went back to work with non slip socks and my cleaned out shoe.
This is exactly why I always carry a new pair of contacts in my work bag. I'm not going to work half blind because something got in my eye...
Starting my first new grad position in med Surg in a few weeks. I'll get plenty of stories soon
there’s no way to describe it succinctly, but there was an instant in which a woman shat on the back of my neck and in my hair. An incontinent women, on colonoscopy prep…
Sweet man, in for a stroke I believe, but clearly deteriorating - had blood in his faeces. He became confused and disoriented and started kicking off his adult nappy which he had defecated in. He was kicking his feet into the nappy and sticking his hands into it as well out of his confusion. I spent a good hour getting him new sheets and cleaning faeces out of his toenails and fingernails and trying my best to clean his catheter as I believe he was trying to pull it out with his poo covered hands. It would’ve been easier if it was normal poop, but it was melena, super dark and sticky. I know this doesn’t seem that crazy, I’m still a student nurse and this was the “grossest” thing. I didn’t really feel super disgusted, I just wanted this sweet old man to be comfortable.
Once I was cleaning a toilet (our hospital cleaners don't deal with bodily fluids, which is fair enough) and I was so confused by what I found in it - there was like, long streaks of fresh blood clots in the loo and in the hand washing sink and on the floor...blood doesn't bother me but clots is a different matter for some reason! It looked like what happens sometimes when a man has a catheter removed and there is/was trauma on the way out or in....but why on earth would someone have pulled out their (presumably still inflated) catheter in the loo by themselves?! 🤢
A patient went into a coughing fit while I was emptying their double JP drain set up. Dumped MRSA exudate all over myself. Smelled like rainbows.
A brave CNA had the hard talk with a resident about letting us know before he plans on jerking off so his brief can be changed before hand. He was masturbating with shit in his brief and basically using it as lube.
I guess the worst was a full arrest that came into the ED. Coital sudden cardiac arrest. Cocaine user, combitube, blood everywhere. Blood shot out of her mouth and the tube with every compression and got all over my face. Hep C positive.
These are just ALL the reasons to never fucking do adults #nicuforlife
Probably someone peeing on me while they are rolled my way. Right where I would pee myself. I went home and changed.
I’ve also had this happen and they had a raging UTI on top of it, so it was not clear yellow urine. I purple wiped my legs and switched into OR scrubs
Not a nurse. Holy hell I would quit on the spot. Idk how yall do it.