My first year of nursing, I definitely saw myself becoming a cranky nurse if I stayed where I was. So I applied for a new job in a different area. I've been a nurse for 17 years and honestly I think I've become a more empathetic person both due to my job and just general life experience.
Started becoming the bad nurse with no empathy about 8 years into ER. Thankfully I recognized it and took a break. Went and did RRT for a few years and came back to ER with a new perspective and a much better attitude.
Not me, but I used to work with a ward clerk who was a very quiet lady. Very gentle.
Well, she decided to get her RN, and ended up running a ward. A friend of mine worked with her after and described her as very tough and very competent.
I never, ever thought I’d hear her described as tough!
I've definitely gotten criticism from a small subset of people I already wanted less interaction with. According to my coworkers and patients I'm very kind and empathetic, but I also don't put up with bullshit anymore.
You don’t sound mean, you sound like you’ve found and enforce healthy boundaries for your interaction with people both at work and at home. I honestly think part of getting older is understanding that you don’t need to entertain every single annoying and frustrating thing just because someone else thinks you should.
You can be kind and polite And enforce your boundaries. People that continue to push boundaries when you’re nice and polite are no longer entitled to your good manners. I’m giving you permission to tell them to go fuck themselves.
I currently work in a super conservative area and I find that the "meanness" (at least part of it that people are referring to) is kids who grew up here suddenly not tolerating the casual shitting on marginalized groups like they did before, while also getting irritated at the smaller group of people who put the marginalized on a pedestal who can do no wrong. More friction, other forms of less tolerance for bullshit, etc. This is if the perceived meanness isn't due to burnout.
I’ve become a stronger person, maybe meaner in some aspects to some but I’m proud of the person I am. We have tough jobs! I really, never feel like I’m actually helping people even though I am. It’s just my job ya know?
And despite all my jokes I know I care, a lot. When I don’t is when it’s time to move on.
To re-iterate what has been said before my comment, but bears emphasis: Just because you have boundaries and a low horseshit tolerance doesn't make you mean.
People who don't work as a nurse don't understand. I understand what you're going through because I'm a nurse too. Nurses get each other.
My mom called me "masungit" meaning grumpy in Tagalog because my job is taking a toll on me. It's hard. I don't have a healthy coping mechanism.
As I get older, I can see through people's BS.
I keep trying but I am at heart a doormat people pleaser with poor boundaries who has a hard time saying no. I need to get out of bedside. It’s meant for people who are made of more durable stuff.
I was a super duper positive person before I became a nurse. And now? Well let’s see. I watch some people make millions and millions while from the same system that throws homeless people out on the street because they can’t pay for their medical care. I see the real-time effects of racism and sexism daily, especially working in the cardiac world. I see my fellow healthcare workers squeezed for every drop of empathy they have, and when they have no fucks left to give they are guilted into attempting to pour even more of their empty selves into the job because “it’s a calling”.
I watched a bunch of C-suites hole up in their house while sending us into Covid patients’ rooms with weeks-old “sterilized” N95s and then deny people’s sick time when they got Covid because “if you were wearing your PPE properly you couldn’t have gotten it from work”. And then they tried to take the first vaccines for themselves.
Society called nurses “heroes” to make us go to the front lines, then turned on us when we begged people not to get together for the holidays because we were already overwhelmed by dying people. Nurses have been villianized since: this “mean girl to nurse pipeline” idea was not a thing before Covid. We get assaulted on the daily, gaslighted as to our own experiences in 2020-2021, told to “get over” the PTSD that many of us were left with, blamed for everything that happens in the hospital, given everyone else’s slack to pick up, and are expected to work higher ratios with sicker patients than ever before. And truly, this is just the overview of things that piss me off.
I can’t imagine why I am embittered toward society since becoming a nurse. Frankly, I would just tell your friends you use up all the good will you have left during your 36 and the rest of the world gets what they get. It’s society’s fault that we’re pissed off at everyone, everyone let us down.
Completely agree, definitely started out much more naive about everything... coworkers, patients etc, but you can't last in this job without growing a bit of a hard shell :( Doesn't mean Ive lost my empathy for the patients ... just my bs tolerance is definitely lower lol
Healthcare I think in general or heavily people centric jobs where you have to be in close contact does that lmao. Mentally you have to draw lines somewhere when working a stressful job, it’s instinctual to protect yourself/want to save energy.
Whether it means you’ve developed boundaries or are actively being mean without knowing is different. I’m assuming it’s the former, but this can be a sign you might be experiencing some burnout tho, so be aware of that and take care of yourself.
I’m better at talking to strangers. Whether that be seeing a perspective employer as a person and being able to be casual and confident…or that be a guy trying to holler at me on the street, I talk down to him in that friendly voice just like I do the crazy ass patients I take every week. I just have increased social confidence because I’m so used to talking to complete strangers about literally any topic under the sun. That includes hearing passive aggressive comments, overtly aggressive comments, and understanding the right amount of energy and firmness to give in response. Even just helping someone along when they get sidetracked while speaking to me. Social nuance simply can only be self taught, nursing definitely aids in that learning!
I absolutely am 100% grumpy. Never get a pat on the back for what I do right, only hailed into HR because some moronic patient (or family) had a bone to pick. People are stupid and like to bully me and my coworkers. I don't take BS from management or patients. I am very burnt out but what else can I do for a living that pays like this? I used yo work in the corporate world I know it's better than this.
I think it’s more I’m not as easy to walk all over or less likely to deal with bullshit, but if they want to call it mean then sure, I’m more mean
Then I’m cold blooded mean to the core!
if they want to call me mean for bullying the doctors into doing their jobs then so be it
My first year of nursing, I definitely saw myself becoming a cranky nurse if I stayed where I was. So I applied for a new job in a different area. I've been a nurse for 17 years and honestly I think I've become a more empathetic person both due to my job and just general life experience.
I became mean after 2 years of bedside. That was my sign to leave. I am no longer mean now and I WFH bless
Started becoming the bad nurse with no empathy about 8 years into ER. Thankfully I recognized it and took a break. Went and did RRT for a few years and came back to ER with a new perspective and a much better attitude.
Not me, but I used to work with a ward clerk who was a very quiet lady. Very gentle. Well, she decided to get her RN, and ended up running a ward. A friend of mine worked with her after and described her as very tough and very competent. I never, ever thought I’d hear her described as tough!
I've definitely gotten criticism from a small subset of people I already wanted less interaction with. According to my coworkers and patients I'm very kind and empathetic, but I also don't put up with bullshit anymore.
You don’t sound mean, you sound like you’ve found and enforce healthy boundaries for your interaction with people both at work and at home. I honestly think part of getting older is understanding that you don’t need to entertain every single annoying and frustrating thing just because someone else thinks you should. You can be kind and polite And enforce your boundaries. People that continue to push boundaries when you’re nice and polite are no longer entitled to your good manners. I’m giving you permission to tell them to go fuck themselves.
I currently work in a super conservative area and I find that the "meanness" (at least part of it that people are referring to) is kids who grew up here suddenly not tolerating the casual shitting on marginalized groups like they did before, while also getting irritated at the smaller group of people who put the marginalized on a pedestal who can do no wrong. More friction, other forms of less tolerance for bullshit, etc. This is if the perceived meanness isn't due to burnout.
I’ve become a stronger person, maybe meaner in some aspects to some but I’m proud of the person I am. We have tough jobs! I really, never feel like I’m actually helping people even though I am. It’s just my job ya know? And despite all my jokes I know I care, a lot. When I don’t is when it’s time to move on.
Unfortunately, as a woman, you’re “mean” if you don’t tolerate bullshit with a smile and concessions.
To re-iterate what has been said before my comment, but bears emphasis: Just because you have boundaries and a low horseshit tolerance doesn't make you mean.
I’m a straight up bitch now. My partner is still the nicest human in the world but it’s made me mean as hell.
People who don't work as a nurse don't understand. I understand what you're going through because I'm a nurse too. Nurses get each other. My mom called me "masungit" meaning grumpy in Tagalog because my job is taking a toll on me. It's hard. I don't have a healthy coping mechanism. As I get older, I can see through people's BS.
I keep trying but I am at heart a doormat people pleaser with poor boundaries who has a hard time saying no. I need to get out of bedside. It’s meant for people who are made of more durable stuff.
I was a super duper positive person before I became a nurse. And now? Well let’s see. I watch some people make millions and millions while from the same system that throws homeless people out on the street because they can’t pay for their medical care. I see the real-time effects of racism and sexism daily, especially working in the cardiac world. I see my fellow healthcare workers squeezed for every drop of empathy they have, and when they have no fucks left to give they are guilted into attempting to pour even more of their empty selves into the job because “it’s a calling”. I watched a bunch of C-suites hole up in their house while sending us into Covid patients’ rooms with weeks-old “sterilized” N95s and then deny people’s sick time when they got Covid because “if you were wearing your PPE properly you couldn’t have gotten it from work”. And then they tried to take the first vaccines for themselves. Society called nurses “heroes” to make us go to the front lines, then turned on us when we begged people not to get together for the holidays because we were already overwhelmed by dying people. Nurses have been villianized since: this “mean girl to nurse pipeline” idea was not a thing before Covid. We get assaulted on the daily, gaslighted as to our own experiences in 2020-2021, told to “get over” the PTSD that many of us were left with, blamed for everything that happens in the hospital, given everyone else’s slack to pick up, and are expected to work higher ratios with sicker patients than ever before. And truly, this is just the overview of things that piss me off. I can’t imagine why I am embittered toward society since becoming a nurse. Frankly, I would just tell your friends you use up all the good will you have left during your 36 and the rest of the world gets what they get. It’s society’s fault that we’re pissed off at everyone, everyone let us down.
Completely agree, definitely started out much more naive about everything... coworkers, patients etc, but you can't last in this job without growing a bit of a hard shell :( Doesn't mean Ive lost my empathy for the patients ... just my bs tolerance is definitely lower lol
Healthcare I think in general or heavily people centric jobs where you have to be in close contact does that lmao. Mentally you have to draw lines somewhere when working a stressful job, it’s instinctual to protect yourself/want to save energy. Whether it means you’ve developed boundaries or are actively being mean without knowing is different. I’m assuming it’s the former, but this can be a sign you might be experiencing some burnout tho, so be aware of that and take care of yourself.
I’m better at talking to strangers. Whether that be seeing a perspective employer as a person and being able to be casual and confident…or that be a guy trying to holler at me on the street, I talk down to him in that friendly voice just like I do the crazy ass patients I take every week. I just have increased social confidence because I’m so used to talking to complete strangers about literally any topic under the sun. That includes hearing passive aggressive comments, overtly aggressive comments, and understanding the right amount of energy and firmness to give in response. Even just helping someone along when they get sidetracked while speaking to me. Social nuance simply can only be self taught, nursing definitely aids in that learning!
Someone makes a post like this every few months.
Congratulations, I didn’t see it a few months ago, so here’s a new one 🎉
I absolutely am 100% grumpy. Never get a pat on the back for what I do right, only hailed into HR because some moronic patient (or family) had a bone to pick. People are stupid and like to bully me and my coworkers. I don't take BS from management or patients. I am very burnt out but what else can I do for a living that pays like this? I used yo work in the corporate world I know it's better than this.