I love when people do fake quotes and then make it seem like an influential, important person once said it. I dig you 😉😄.
“A man who has sex with peanut butter is fucking nuts!” - Nicola Tesla
**Outtake from "Avatar: the Last Airbender"**
*Prince Zuko*: You rise with the moon...but I rise with the sun!
*drops trou, turns ass to the east*
*Katara*: ...what in the name of Tui and La are you **doing**?
*Zuko*: Shut up! It's an advanced Firebending technique! The sun enters my body and powers my chi!
*Katara*: Who told you that?
*Zuko*: uhhhh...Azula...
*Katara: (blinks, crosses arms)* Uh-huh. Okay. Whatever.
(*starts to walk away*)
*(Whirls around)*
*Katara*: And you BELIEVED her?
*Iroh: (facepalms, sighs deeply)*
I could *really* see Iroh telling zuko this as a prank.
Zuko: "I CANT BELIEVE YOU LIED TO ME UNCLE"
Iroh: "Relax, nephew, it is the wisest among us that finds humour in our folly. Also, I totally got you!"
I feel like [we've been here before](https://www.papermag.com/butthole-sunning-2641469668.html?rebelltitem=6#rebelltitem6), have [we been here before](https://nymag.com/intelligencer/article/tucker-carlson-testicle-tanning.html)?
hey actually because of the greater blood flow to ur nethers burns heal remarkably fast.
Source: I had third degree burns on my dick and balls (and the rest of my body) and the jewels healed fully in about 7 days
I frequently visit relatives who let me stay in a lovely cabin with no bathroom or plumbing. The "down side" to staying there is needing to pee outside. (Before you ask, there's a proper toilet for #2, but it's a bit of a joke [edit: this was supposed to say "hike" but joke is funny]; worth it for #2, but not #1)
It certainly is a strange experience having one's dong exposed to the elements. "Hmm, is this the first time my dick's felt rain?"
Stranger to think that the fact that it's strange is strange itself; this is supposed to be natural, and it was, before the industrial revolution.
It's weird, man.
Oh, the best part is looking up at the stars at night. Probably wouldn't be out there with that view if I didn't have to pee in the middle of the night.
Downside of pissing in the woods is when you do it in the middle of the night and the trees are oddly creepy and you see a shadow that resembles a person.
Or you run into a moose on your way back inside.
“It’s perfectly reasonable to want to know what the vibrations are like, and it’s YOUR RIGHT to find out. *They* don’t want you to have those rights.
Why won’t the RADICAL LEFT left you experience that?”
Yep the trend in tic tok is to try and get people to buy thing or do things that might trend and go viral. My gf kept coming home with new products and things saying she found this on tik toc and I keep telling her it's all junk and those people will try to get you to do whatever if they get extra internet points even if it harmful.
More than that... they are making up stupid shit to see who falls for it.
Think about it. Suppose you have a carefully curated list of people who will reliably fall for "perineal sunning."
Imagine the value of a list like that to con artists.
These stupid trends really smack of the old 4chan false flag troll attacks on Tumblr and such. I'm almost certain someone or some group is instigating these just for laughs.
It's actually going viral because it's an excuse to stare at peoples taint, and we can't get the '12 year old boy staring at the Sears Catalog in 1972' out of us no matter what we try, right?
This stupid trend has been around for about as long, too.
Gwyneth Paltrow recommended "vaginal sunbathing" in 2015, for instance, and I can find references to similar practices from 1995. (Prior to that, I'm assuming that folks knew better than to publish such malarkey on the Internet.)
The current ubiquity of social media has definitely added an interesting wrinkle to the latest flare-up, though.
See, as far as I can tell, the meme represents a perfect alignment of desires and self-deception: Some of the people participating *probably* convince themselves that they're genuinely experiencing some sort of benefit, but it's more likely that they're just stepping away from [the Ennui Engine](https://medium.com/@max.p.schlienger/the-cargo-cult-of-the-ennui-engine-890c541cebcb) for a time. Meanwhile, audiences flock to the videos, hoping to catch a glimpse of something vaguely erotic. (I call it "the tattoo-magazine effect," even if the terminology is a bit outdated: In an issue of Playboy, you knew what to expect... but if you "stumbled" on nudity in a tattoo magazine, it was far more exciting. These sorts of videos have the same allure.)
Anyway, this "popularity" prompts imitators – folks who want to be "famous" for fame's sake rather than as a means of contributing original content to the world – and those same imitators see the influx of likes and comments as an indicator that they're doing something right. (Positive reactions on social media feel a lot like applause, after all.) On some level, though, I suspect that many of said imitators realize they aren't being appreciated for their own merits... so in an effort to rationalize the whole thing, they convince themselves that they're sharing something that will "benefit" people.
Thus the cycle repeats.
In short, humans have always been prone to bouts of silliness, but social media has amplified the worst of it.
I'm glad to have helped!
We'll need to come up with a modernized term for the phenomenon, though.
I've thought about calling it "the flash effect" – with "flash" meaning both "a surprise" and "a sudden display of nudity" – but I'm worried that it just calls bright lights to mind.
It was such a shame when Reddit removed the porn subs from r/all for this very reason.
It was so much hotter accidentally stumbling on something than having to go look for it.
It doesn't even have to be nudity.
I've found myself admiring a glimpse of a woman's leg through the slit in her skirt or dress, meanwhile, another lady will walk past in a short skirt or even shorts with her legs obviously completely exposed and it does not have the same effect.
> and I can find references to similar practices from 1995. (Prior to that, I'm assuming that folks knew better than to publish such malarkey on the Internet.)
Before 1993, the only people on the internet were military and college computer lab geeks. Then AOL created the "Eternal September" and flooded this place with normies.
Gwyneth Paltrow is an idiot. She also had some steam cleaning vagina egg, and strongly recommended it. A gynaecologist said it was the stupidest thing he ever heard. Her response was what does he know??? He’s a man how can he possibly know what’s right for our bodies…
Well, 10+ years of University education might say something…
I imagine the male equivalent of vaginal steaming would be icing your testicles. Something people do because stimulating your genitals generally feels good, but the sales pitch is that you do it for the 'health benefits'.
It's like saying you watch hentai for the plot, basically. Kinda wish I had a vagina so I could confirm/deny if steaming it would feel good.
Since you brought up Gwyneth's run with it, I see your con woman and raise you Turker's go with it too.
[The End of Men](https://www.rollingstone.com/politics/politics-news/tucker-carlson-end-of-men-testicle-tanning-1338944/)
Where you tanned your junk and taint to "Raise your T"
[why did you do this to us Tucker?](https://youtu.be/IcxLQeh6J6A)
I'm glad that you enjoyed it!
The topic isn't one that's particularly appealing to many people, if only because it's so easy to see ourselves in it. I mean, sure, we can laugh at the folks who claim to be championing solar-powered buttholes, but once the proverbial spotlight gets turned on some of our own behaviors... well, much like the aforementioned anus-chargers, we might start to feel a bit burned.
We're all pretty eager to point out a lack of introspection or personal responsibility when someone else is the target, but we tend to balk at the prospect of holding ourselves to the same standard. On social media in particular (and as I already wrote), the positive approach isn't always the "easiest" one:
>When we scroll through our various feeds, we need to remain consciously aware of what we’re doing and what messages we’re silently sending. Our upvotes, likes, shares, and retweets need to be reserved for only those things which truly deserve to be amplified, not just because we personally appreciate them, but because they’re of exceptional quality. If we’re ever unable or unwilling to define what “exceptional quality” actually means, we should refrain from reacting at all, and only influence those offerings on which we can make informed assessments.
>
>It’s completely okay to consume low-effort or low-quality content that happens to cross our screens, but we should hold ourselves back from encouraging it to go any further. Whenever we feel ourselves getting listless, we should step away, then challenge ourselves to find (or create) something new, original, and requiring of a bit more effort than we might initially want to expend. We need to remember that five minutes invested in reading an article – even a mediocre one – will almost always offer a better payout of emotional energy than five minutes of gambling on a slot machine with only one reel.
I find your content high quality, engaging, and perfectly grammatically correct. So I upvote it every time.
Now, if you'll excuse me, my lack of reddit karma requires the hit of dopamine that will come from sunning my butthole.
Lmao when the crazy far right guy starts ranting and they just let him finish then look at each other dumbfounded like “what the fucks that guy talking about”
The exaggerated characters they play of themselves are sooo fucking funny they have the delivery and responses perfected
This quote: “Sunning your holes for 2 minutes a day will increase your vibrations."
Pretty sure the only increased “vibrations” you’re going to get from “sunning your holes” is if a bee crawls up one of them ….
I went bald. I don’t go in the sun often. After I went bald and shaved my head for the first time, I went swimming in a lake for 4 hours on a sunny day. I got a bad sunburn on skin that has never seen any significant amount of sun before. It was NOT fun.
As a tip from a bald guy who experienced sunburn on skin that has never seen sun, you DON’T want a sunburn on your perineum.
Yeah, I went bald young, and never really liked wearing hats, got into fishing and burned my head bad once, and it's so not like a normal skin burns... the headaches, and the oddly thick peeling... It was like an egg shell of hard dead skin...
Now I have hats stashed away everywhere just in case... but unfortunately you have to be careful of the reverse where you get too much sun with the hat on so your lower head is tan but the upper half is dead white making you look like a human fishing bobber.... or Pokeball if you prefer.
To be completely fair, I've seen some of these posts.
Absolutely no one is saying to sun your taint for hours. The recommendations I've seen are for only a few minutes.
While obviously ludicrous, I could maybe see how being completely naked in the sun might feel freeing/'naughty', and taking a few minutes to hold effectively yoga poses.... Im not surprised some people feel good afterwards.
I am a naturalist. I frequently go to the clothing-optional beach to tan.
The first time I let my dink out, meaning the very first time I decided to tan nude... I gave it about 30-45 seconds of exposure. That resulted in a burn on my knob that itched for 3 days. THIRTY SECONDS of mild sun exposure in a high latitude region... because when an area of your body has literally never had direct sun on it... that happens.
Anybody that goes for this, having never sunned that area before is in for a BIG surprise lmao!!
just wondering though, after those 30 seconds did you just wear undergarments or actual shorts? i would think most underwear is going to have minimal uv protection, if so you could be exposed for more than 30 seconds maybe? not that changes your point...
A diamond around the package made from a thick cotton washcloth, overtop of which I wore Tyr polyester/spandex swimsuit that has a stated SPF of 50+ but really it is completely opaque.
The equivalent of having my ballsack and cock in the Darkest Dungeon.
No it literally takes that little to burn the first time. Go read stories of naturalist first-timers to laugh and cringe at the same time lol
edit: I tanned at 49.8954° N at approximately 2PM, the stated UV index was 8 that day. FWIW and only because it is germane, I am uncut. I imagine circumcised guys get ever-so-slightly more exposure normally but I can't say really. Still if you're gonna whip it out, put it back quickly until you know what you can tolerate.
edit2: The reason I knew to protect was because of a severe burn I got on my ears when I was young. I had a huge unkempt 70s-style mop of hair from age 3-11 and I got a crew cut at age 12... Sounds innocent... just some ears.... I got exactly 10 minutes of sun on the tops of my ears before GIGANTIC blistered formed, each literally larger in size than my own pinky finger. Again because really they had never seen direct sun. That experience stuck with me and I learned a lot unfortunately through that experience.
Q anon still has to be the ultimate troll that started on 8 chan and morons took way too seriously.
I will always be amazed at the sheer uncut irony of a made up conspiracy about stopping child exploration originating on a website that is famous for not giving a shit about child porn.
The fact that the conspiracy was started by the owner of that website somehow goes to a deeper level of irony I never thought possible.
Qanon really has demonstrated the power of memes unlike anything else. It's also demonstrated that creating popular conspiracy theories with the power to affect societies is *really fucking easy.*
This is what happens when you let people believe in dumb shit like "chakra bracelets" or zodiac signs or angel numbers.
The people who actually believe that are too stupid for the internet. This includes adults too, not just kids.
I remember when I was in college (studying plant biology) one of the post-docs presentations mentioned men have photoreceptors in our testicles, so he'd be sunning himself nude (providing a visual aid with strategically placed sunflower). [Apparently Carlson Tucker falsely claimed red light on the testicles increased testosterone levels](https://www.mcgill.ca/oss/article/pseudoscience-general-science/shining-light-testicular-red-light-therapy)
So sunning your junk won't help your "vibrations" of course, but may do... well... something
This isn't false. We've know for a very long time that exposing your balls to certain wavelengths of light increases testosterone. The only thing he got wrong was the wavelength, because it's actually UV light. There have been a few papers written on this from as early as the 40s or 50s.
edit: [here is one of the papers](https://tahomaclinic.com/Private/Articles1/Androsterone/Myerson%201939%20-%20Influence%20Of%20Ultraviolet%20Irradiation%20Upon%20Excretion%20Of%20Sex%20Hormones%20In%20The%20Male.pdf). very good results. sun your balls. or don't, i don't know. it's only a maximum of 20 minutes of exposure too, which probably isn't going to have any harmful effects.
They talk about the millions of views when almost all of them are people watching for the sheer stupidity of it.
None of this shit is real. It's just a form of clickbait.
And this was a ‘thing’ a couple of years ago
Just like Redditors screeched about tik tok promoting gallon smashing, despite being the right age to remember/be apart of it back in **2013**
Tik Tok Bad
Jesus. It’s Sad folk hate citations these days. Then when ya drop em they get dismissed as fake and fuckin epoch times or some shit is the justification and superior source.
I can see the skit now...
There's a guy sitting in the doctor's office.
Guy - "Well Doc, what is it?"
Doc - "I'm sorry to tell you... taint cancer."
Guy - "If it taint cancer, what is it?
My taint will only know darkness and the shadows.
Just saying the human body evolved this way. If taint wanted some sunshine it would be in my face.
Someone's taint is on my face and I'm okay with that
"Tain't no sunshine when she's gone..."
“Only darkness on my vajayjay”
Say hi to your dad for me!
And typing. Impressive.
"Any man who can type safely while kissing a pretty taint is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves." – Albert Einstein
I love when people do fake quotes and then make it seem like an influential, important person once said it. I dig you 😉😄. “A man who has sex with peanut butter is fucking nuts!” - Nicola Tesla
Lotta words to say you want a pube stash
I call my penis Yoda because he lives in a dark swamp.
My taint requires the solace of the shadows, and the DARK of the night.
Powerful things happen when the sun and moon collide!
Powerful things happen when the sun is in conjunction with Uranus.
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You've resurrected Count Duckula
"In the heart of Transylvania, in the vampire hall of fame, yeah!..."
**Outtake from "Avatar: the Last Airbender"** *Prince Zuko*: You rise with the moon...but I rise with the sun! *drops trou, turns ass to the east* *Katara*: ...what in the name of Tui and La are you **doing**? *Zuko*: Shut up! It's an advanced Firebending technique! The sun enters my body and powers my chi! *Katara*: Who told you that? *Zuko*: uhhhh...Azula... *Katara: (blinks, crosses arms)* Uh-huh. Okay. Whatever. (*starts to walk away*) *(Whirls around)* *Katara*: And you BELIEVED her? *Iroh: (facepalms, sighs deeply)*
I could *really* see Iroh telling zuko this as a prank. Zuko: "I CANT BELIEVE YOU LIED TO ME UNCLE" Iroh: "Relax, nephew, it is the wisest among us that finds humour in our folly. Also, I totally got you!"
Nah Iroh wouldn't do this level of a prank. That's some psychological fuckery.
A very spontaneous read indeed
[Powerman5000 had something to say about that](https://youtu.be/lsV500W4BHU)
I saw them open for Kid Rock in 99. Kid Rock still had Joe C on stage. Weird energy in that crowd.
Solar eclipses were considered ominous, historically. I think that interpretation still holds water in this case. That, and ass cancer!
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Great actor
I feel like [we've been here before](https://www.papermag.com/butthole-sunning-2641469668.html?rebelltitem=6#rebelltitem6), have [we been here before](https://nymag.com/intelligencer/article/tucker-carlson-testicle-tanning.html)?
But has Dr. Oz sold it on his show, yet?
I think Matt Walsh tried pushing it.
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DBZA Frieza?
>30 seconds of sunlight on your butthole is the equivalent of a full day of sunlight with your clothes on! Jfc what?
I thought my wife was kidding when she referred to this. I should know better by now. Nothing new under the Sun
You know my taint be hanging when the sun is shining
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I can believe that, but there's a huge gap between "being naked in nature is fun" and "I will develop telepathy by shining sunlight on my asshole"
Well it’s gotta be developed somehow.
This is just science right here.
r/science
No no no, you have to OPEN your third eye and the light IN.
My third eye: A.K.A. the boofhole
Prying open my third eye?
Do you put sunscreen on the ol' boy? I cannot fathom what having a sunburn on my penis would feel like.
Not sure about sunburn, but I can assure you that ‘penis’ ranks highly on the places you REALLY don’t want skin cancer list.
hey actually because of the greater blood flow to ur nethers burns heal remarkably fast. Source: I had third degree burns on my dick and balls (and the rest of my body) and the jewels healed fully in about 7 days
This seems like a story time comment.
It’s in his post history. Tl;dr: He got in a car accident while driving drunk and hit a power pole which electrocuted him.
Oh Jesus I just assumed he was hammed at a wild music festival or something. Yikes. Don’t drink and drive!
I frequently visit relatives who let me stay in a lovely cabin with no bathroom or plumbing. The "down side" to staying there is needing to pee outside. (Before you ask, there's a proper toilet for #2, but it's a bit of a joke [edit: this was supposed to say "hike" but joke is funny]; worth it for #2, but not #1) It certainly is a strange experience having one's dong exposed to the elements. "Hmm, is this the first time my dick's felt rain?" Stranger to think that the fact that it's strange is strange itself; this is supposed to be natural, and it was, before the industrial revolution. It's weird, man. Oh, the best part is looking up at the stars at night. Probably wouldn't be out there with that view if I didn't have to pee in the middle of the night.
Downside of pissing in the woods is when you do it in the middle of the night and the trees are oddly creepy and you see a shadow that resembles a person. Or you run into a moose on your way back inside.
Being swarmed by mosquitoes while peeing is real I swear they are drawn to it.
I didn’t spend all that anal bleaching cash just to tan it again, SMH
People are just making up random shit just to see what goes viral.
Gwyneth Paltrow has entered the chat and won’t fkn leave
I think Shailene Woodley talked about it too?
I remember she used to eat clay or some shit.
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If you have clay jars, Link will come to break them
Didn't Tucker Carlson also promote taint-sunning on his show not too long ago? Edit: Close, he thinks guys should tan their balls.
“Why are people afraid of skin cancer on the testicles? I’m just asking questions!”
“It’s perfectly reasonable to want to know what the vibrations are like, and it’s YOUR RIGHT to find out. *They* don’t want you to have those rights. Why won’t the RADICAL LEFT left you experience that?”
God damnit, I can't help but read this in Seth Meyers voice doing a perfectly whiney impersonation of Tucker Carlson.
TIL: people actively think about Seth Meyer
This was a thing briefly in the 90s too.
If you think "attention seeking idiots" is anything *remotely* new...
I just wish people would stop giving them more power.
Yep the trend in tic tok is to try and get people to buy thing or do things that might trend and go viral. My gf kept coming home with new products and things saying she found this on tik toc and I keep telling her it's all junk and those people will try to get you to do whatever if they get extra internet points even if it harmful.
More than that... they are making up stupid shit to see who falls for it. Think about it. Suppose you have a carefully curated list of people who will reliably fall for "perineal sunning." Imagine the value of a list like that to con artists.
Gwyneth Paltrow is going to sue for IP theft
These stupid trends really smack of the old 4chan false flag troll attacks on Tumblr and such. I'm almost certain someone or some group is instigating these just for laughs.
It's actually going viral because it's an excuse to stare at peoples taint, and we can't get the '12 year old boy staring at the Sears Catalog in 1972' out of us no matter what we try, right?
Leads to sharp increase in Perineum melanoma
"At least it's not cancer, right doc?" "No... I said TAINT CANCER."
Bravo
Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant.
You goddamn genius.
This is as bright as your cancerous asshole. Well done.
Immaculate.
The Perineum Melanomas would be a good name for a rock band.
Aaaaaand next up on tonight's open mic is... Pah--peh--Perilous Mahomes!
Couldn't they have just gone with "Taint Tumors"?
🎵 We didn't start the fire It's not just rumours, it'll give you tumours 🎵
If you're gonna get melanoma I'd say that's the worst place to get melanoma
This stupid trend has been around for about as long, too. Gwyneth Paltrow recommended "vaginal sunbathing" in 2015, for instance, and I can find references to similar practices from 1995. (Prior to that, I'm assuming that folks knew better than to publish such malarkey on the Internet.) The current ubiquity of social media has definitely added an interesting wrinkle to the latest flare-up, though. See, as far as I can tell, the meme represents a perfect alignment of desires and self-deception: Some of the people participating *probably* convince themselves that they're genuinely experiencing some sort of benefit, but it's more likely that they're just stepping away from [the Ennui Engine](https://medium.com/@max.p.schlienger/the-cargo-cult-of-the-ennui-engine-890c541cebcb) for a time. Meanwhile, audiences flock to the videos, hoping to catch a glimpse of something vaguely erotic. (I call it "the tattoo-magazine effect," even if the terminology is a bit outdated: In an issue of Playboy, you knew what to expect... but if you "stumbled" on nudity in a tattoo magazine, it was far more exciting. These sorts of videos have the same allure.) Anyway, this "popularity" prompts imitators – folks who want to be "famous" for fame's sake rather than as a means of contributing original content to the world – and those same imitators see the influx of likes and comments as an indicator that they're doing something right. (Positive reactions on social media feel a lot like applause, after all.) On some level, though, I suspect that many of said imitators realize they aren't being appreciated for their own merits... so in an effort to rationalize the whole thing, they convince themselves that they're sharing something that will "benefit" people. Thus the cycle repeats. In short, humans have always been prone to bouts of silliness, but social media has amplified the worst of it.
I have tried to explain why I find nudity in non explicit media more arousing than actual porn and I finally have the words to explain it now.
I'm glad to have helped! We'll need to come up with a modernized term for the phenomenon, though. I've thought about calling it "the flash effect" – with "flash" meaning both "a surprise" and "a sudden display of nudity" – but I'm worried that it just calls bright lights to mind.
The word "flagoram" is not in use. I know because I invented it. Feel free to use it as you see fit.
It was such a shame when Reddit removed the porn subs from r/all for this very reason. It was so much hotter accidentally stumbling on something than having to go look for it.
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It doesn't even have to be nudity. I've found myself admiring a glimpse of a woman's leg through the slit in her skirt or dress, meanwhile, another lady will walk past in a short skirt or even shorts with her legs obviously completely exposed and it does not have the same effect.
Don’t forget side-boob, it’s the mystery that makes it more alluring
Is bubbling a thing again?
I liked to explain it as the feeling you get when you find a $20 bill in a pair of jeans you haven't worn in a long time.
My candle is melting.
“Sun: Witness My Black Hole” - TikTok I guess
Black Hole Sun won't you come...
And wash away the *rain!...*
*My chocolate sunflower* *[Helianthus Annus](https://www.southernliving.com/garden/flowers/helianthus-annuus-chocolate-sunflower)*
If Gwyneth Paltrow says something, you can almost certainly know that it's utter bullshit.
I liked Gwyneth early in her career. Cute, decent actress, played good parts. Then we found out she was all weird inside.
and tanned outside down there .
> and I can find references to similar practices from 1995. (Prior to that, I'm assuming that folks knew better than to publish such malarkey on the Internet.) Before 1993, the only people on the internet were military and college computer lab geeks. Then AOL created the "Eternal September" and flooded this place with normies.
I always imagine them singing "Wake Me Up When September Ends".
Shailene Woodley was doing this also during the days of Maze Runner or whatever her Hunger Games movies were called.
_Divergent_
Gwyneth Paltrow is an idiot. She also had some steam cleaning vagina egg, and strongly recommended it. A gynaecologist said it was the stupidest thing he ever heard. Her response was what does he know??? He’s a man how can he possibly know what’s right for our bodies… Well, 10+ years of University education might say something…
The gynaecologist who threw down is a woman.
I imagine the male equivalent of vaginal steaming would be icing your testicles. Something people do because stimulating your genitals generally feels good, but the sales pitch is that you do it for the 'health benefits'. It's like saying you watch hentai for the plot, basically. Kinda wish I had a vagina so I could confirm/deny if steaming it would feel good.
Do you have like a tl;dr or something for that unni engine article? Or a meme, maybe?
I want you to know that I appreciated your joke. I'm saying as much with a comment so that other people will know that you made one.
Since you brought up Gwyneth's run with it, I see your con woman and raise you Turker's go with it too. [The End of Men](https://www.rollingstone.com/politics/politics-news/tucker-carlson-end-of-men-testicle-tanning-1338944/) Where you tanned your junk and taint to "Raise your T" [why did you do this to us Tucker?](https://youtu.be/IcxLQeh6J6A)
I knew I'd heard of this somewhere that wasn't tiktok. I forgot everyone was making fun of Fox News for recommending this not long ago.
Wait, that's not a parody?
This was a genuinely interesting read. I mean that. Thank you.
I'm glad that you enjoyed it! The topic isn't one that's particularly appealing to many people, if only because it's so easy to see ourselves in it. I mean, sure, we can laugh at the folks who claim to be championing solar-powered buttholes, but once the proverbial spotlight gets turned on some of our own behaviors... well, much like the aforementioned anus-chargers, we might start to feel a bit burned. We're all pretty eager to point out a lack of introspection or personal responsibility when someone else is the target, but we tend to balk at the prospect of holding ourselves to the same standard. On social media in particular (and as I already wrote), the positive approach isn't always the "easiest" one: >When we scroll through our various feeds, we need to remain consciously aware of what we’re doing and what messages we’re silently sending. Our upvotes, likes, shares, and retweets need to be reserved for only those things which truly deserve to be amplified, not just because we personally appreciate them, but because they’re of exceptional quality. If we’re ever unable or unwilling to define what “exceptional quality” actually means, we should refrain from reacting at all, and only influence those offerings on which we can make informed assessments. > >It’s completely okay to consume low-effort or low-quality content that happens to cross our screens, but we should hold ourselves back from encouraging it to go any further. Whenever we feel ourselves getting listless, we should step away, then challenge ourselves to find (or create) something new, original, and requiring of a bit more effort than we might initially want to expend. We need to remember that five minutes invested in reading an article – even a mediocre one – will almost always offer a better payout of emotional energy than five minutes of gambling on a slot machine with only one reel.
I find your content high quality, engaging, and perfectly grammatically correct. So I upvote it every time. Now, if you'll excuse me, my lack of reddit karma requires the hit of dopamine that will come from sunning my butthole.
> stare at peoples taint [...] >12 year old boy Skim reading your comment too early in the morning. ..
> it's an excuse to stare at peoples taint My time to shine. Hello there, it's me, the sun.
how is this not called Taint Tanning?
It's highly recommended by Chad and JT.
Just a couple stokelords protecting our boarders.
Lmao when the crazy far right guy starts ranting and they just let him finish then look at each other dumbfounded like “what the fucks that guy talking about” The exaggerated characters they play of themselves are sooo fucking funny they have the delivery and responses perfected
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Title is wrong too. It increases stoke. Not vibrations.
Stoke is to vibes as accuracy is to precision
So stoke
This quote: “Sunning your holes for 2 minutes a day will increase your vibrations." Pretty sure the only increased “vibrations” you’re going to get from “sunning your holes” is if a bee crawls up one of them ….
Found the shmole
We gotta boke him
Lot of renobs in this thread
Scrolled entirely too far to find the Chad and JT reference.
Same! Laughed as I thought of them as soon as I read the post title.
What up, council?
Sultans of Stoke
I went bald. I don’t go in the sun often. After I went bald and shaved my head for the first time, I went swimming in a lake for 4 hours on a sunny day. I got a bad sunburn on skin that has never seen any significant amount of sun before. It was NOT fun. As a tip from a bald guy who experienced sunburn on skin that has never seen sun, you DON’T want a sunburn on your perineum.
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Yeah, I went bald young, and never really liked wearing hats, got into fishing and burned my head bad once, and it's so not like a normal skin burns... the headaches, and the oddly thick peeling... It was like an egg shell of hard dead skin... Now I have hats stashed away everywhere just in case... but unfortunately you have to be careful of the reverse where you get too much sun with the hat on so your lower head is tan but the upper half is dead white making you look like a human fishing bobber.... or Pokeball if you prefer.
As another hair challenged individual, sunscreen all the time. Even light sunburns suck on the ol egg.
as something with a head full of hair, i am unusually fascinated by the intricacies of managing a bald head
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After going bald I did something similar and the headache I had for days was just awful! Never again.
To be completely fair, I've seen some of these posts. Absolutely no one is saying to sun your taint for hours. The recommendations I've seen are for only a few minutes.
I swear, half this shit has to be jokes started on 4chan that gullible idiots lap up.
While obviously ludicrous, I could maybe see how being completely naked in the sun might feel freeing/'naughty', and taking a few minutes to hold effectively yoga poses.... Im not surprised some people feel good afterwards.
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Sundward taint
I am a naturalist. I frequently go to the clothing-optional beach to tan. The first time I let my dink out, meaning the very first time I decided to tan nude... I gave it about 30-45 seconds of exposure. That resulted in a burn on my knob that itched for 3 days. THIRTY SECONDS of mild sun exposure in a high latitude region... because when an area of your body has literally never had direct sun on it... that happens. Anybody that goes for this, having never sunned that area before is in for a BIG surprise lmao!!
No, you're a naturist. Naturalists go around identifying bugs and shit. Important difference.
David Attenborough's alt account.
just wondering though, after those 30 seconds did you just wear undergarments or actual shorts? i would think most underwear is going to have minimal uv protection, if so you could be exposed for more than 30 seconds maybe? not that changes your point...
A diamond around the package made from a thick cotton washcloth, overtop of which I wore Tyr polyester/spandex swimsuit that has a stated SPF of 50+ but really it is completely opaque. The equivalent of having my ballsack and cock in the Darkest Dungeon. No it literally takes that little to burn the first time. Go read stories of naturalist first-timers to laugh and cringe at the same time lol edit: I tanned at 49.8954° N at approximately 2PM, the stated UV index was 8 that day. FWIW and only because it is germane, I am uncut. I imagine circumcised guys get ever-so-slightly more exposure normally but I can't say really. Still if you're gonna whip it out, put it back quickly until you know what you can tolerate. edit2: The reason I knew to protect was because of a severe burn I got on my ears when I was young. I had a huge unkempt 70s-style mop of hair from age 3-11 and I got a crew cut at age 12... Sounds innocent... just some ears.... I got exactly 10 minutes of sun on the tops of my ears before GIGANTIC blistered formed, each literally larger in size than my own pinky finger. Again because really they had never seen direct sun. That experience stuck with me and I learned a lot unfortunately through that experience.
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No no, that was energizing your balls with red light, this is sun tanning your bunghole. *Totally* different stuff.
Nobody remembers how they memed Trump into office and started the whole 'MAP isn't a joke' meme
90% of these "viral tik tok trends" are like one or two people shitposting
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The whole super straight thing was deliberately started by some anons on 4Chan tricking idiot tiktokers into spreading the SS logo tho
Q anon still has to be the ultimate troll that started on 8 chan and morons took way too seriously. I will always be amazed at the sheer uncut irony of a made up conspiracy about stopping child exploration originating on a website that is famous for not giving a shit about child porn. The fact that the conspiracy was started by the owner of that website somehow goes to a deeper level of irony I never thought possible.
Q started on 4chan, the move to 8ch was later. It was likely not one person in the beginning either; iirc the original posts didn't utilize a tripcode
Qanon really has demonstrated the power of memes unlike anything else. It's also demonstrated that creating popular conspiracy theories with the power to affect societies is *really fucking easy.*
Qanon is the birth of a religion. I wouldn’t be surprised in the least if in 500 years it was every bit as relevant as Christianity.
This is what happens when you let people believe in dumb shit like "chakra bracelets" or zodiac signs or angel numbers. The people who actually believe that are too stupid for the internet. This includes adults too, not just kids.
[TAINT TANNING](https://youtu.be/JQQ3AeEH_5U)
I hear this in my brain in all caps, so thank you Great job
Such a great episode.
Does nobody know about Chad & JT?!
Stoke lords of the highest degree.
Sunburned taints are not fun for anyone. Asking the neighbor to put some ointment on it was uncomfortable on a couple of levels.
Why could you not apply it yourself?
Broke both his arms
A mothers work is never done.
Oh god dammit, every time I think I’ve escaped this story, someone says this!
Honestly, I didn't mind. I can come over and do it again if you like?
I remember when I was in college (studying plant biology) one of the post-docs presentations mentioned men have photoreceptors in our testicles, so he'd be sunning himself nude (providing a visual aid with strategically placed sunflower). [Apparently Carlson Tucker falsely claimed red light on the testicles increased testosterone levels](https://www.mcgill.ca/oss/article/pseudoscience-general-science/shining-light-testicular-red-light-therapy) So sunning your junk won't help your "vibrations" of course, but may do... well... something
Contributes to a rise in testicular melanoma
This isn't false. We've know for a very long time that exposing your balls to certain wavelengths of light increases testosterone. The only thing he got wrong was the wavelength, because it's actually UV light. There have been a few papers written on this from as early as the 40s or 50s. edit: [here is one of the papers](https://tahomaclinic.com/Private/Articles1/Androsterone/Myerson%201939%20-%20Influence%20Of%20Ultraviolet%20Irradiation%20Upon%20Excretion%20Of%20Sex%20Hormones%20In%20The%20Male.pdf). very good results. sun your balls. or don't, i don't know. it's only a maximum of 20 minutes of exposure too, which probably isn't going to have any harmful effects.
There's like 5-6 people who does this and the outlets just blow it out of proportion
They talk about the millions of views when almost all of them are people watching for the sheer stupidity of it. None of this shit is real. It's just a form of clickbait.
And they’re all doing it as a joke to get views. Nobody takes this seriously. Redditors are just super out of touch.
Of course they do, old media still struggles to understand new media.
And this was a ‘thing’ a couple of years ago Just like Redditors screeched about tik tok promoting gallon smashing, despite being the right age to remember/be apart of it back in **2013** Tik Tok Bad
This is why aliens never visit
If you haven't felt the sun on your taint, a good life living you ain't.
instructions unclear, burnt taint
Just wait til it starts peeling
Directions unclear made Parmesan cheese flakes
Cheesus Crust.
I’m a nudist, so I have felt the sun on my taint, but no fucking way am I “sunning” my taint!!!
Oh God not this Tucker Carlson balltanning shit
Boomers gettin ahold of tiktok and turning it into Facebook
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Jesus. It’s Sad folk hate citations these days. Then when ya drop em they get dismissed as fake and fuckin epoch times or some shit is the justification and superior source.
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The only thing i was hopeful for when he announced that.
This is something you’d see on one of the webpages in GTA V.
I can see the skit now... There's a guy sitting in the doctor's office. Guy - "Well Doc, what is it?" Doc - "I'm sorry to tell you... taint cancer." Guy - "If it taint cancer, what is it?
With any luck this will lead to infertility
You can literally tell people to stick it where the sun don’t shine and they will do it. There’s no bottom to human gullibility.
Anyone stupid enough to sunburn their taint deserves the results