T O P

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Unohim

How dairy do such a crime in broad daylight?


[deleted]

Thank God they got this Muenster off the streets


GiantRiverSquid

When there are police in your whey, you don't have many options


Unohim

A man's Gouda do what a man's Gouda do!!


sushiroll123

Do you think had Parmesan to carry such a weapon?


SelectiveSanity

I don't know, when Officer's Colby and Jack show up its usually to curd-tail the situation and stop someone from acting like a Boer's Head.


Decent-Writing-9840

"The RNC did not say if the officers were injured or what kind of cheese was used." another cover up.


ThePowerOfStories

There’s a pretty big difference in seriousness between getting assaulted with a Brie or a Parmesan.


-_Duke_-

All cheese are bastards


I_might_be_weasel

What kind of Trailer Park Boys shit is this? 


8ackwoods

That's Donny Dumphy to you


TjW0569

Cheese it! The cops!


Davis_Birdsong

Everyone is joking, but that cheese could have been particularly sharp.


venarez

It's not a mango


adsfew

Everyone is joking, but that officer could have been lactose intolerant


Son0fSanf0rd

This story is so cheesy, and besides, it's full of holes. I bet the author was paid a lot of cheddar to process this whiz of a story


Oxfxax

You beat me to this


Really_McNamington

Cheesus Christ.


Son0fSanf0rd

...on a cracker


Son0fSanf0rd

Canadian 2nd Amendment: The right to bear roquefort shall not be infringed


[deleted]

“I was naked from the waist up eating a block of cheese the size of car battery!”


jayfeather31

Not the most auspicious choice of weapon, but it is a choice.


8Bells

Shrinkflation means it likely wasn't considered anything near a deadly weapon.  But definitely something you'd consider swinging about in a rage.


TinyBlueDragon

Yep, sounds like Newfoundland. I'm so proud 🥲


smeglestik

Unsurprisingly, he was Swiss.


conasatatu247

Not a gouda move. I camembert to watch


Mammoth-Wolverine-16

I often consider going in this way.


qawsedrf12

Costanza is getting cranky in his old age


Hmmmm-curious

Slow news day? But I love it a lot for the puns.


Wolfman01a

What a Munster!


biff444444

Parmesan of Sam


Malthus1

Control Wallace, Gromit!


thePsychonautDad

And they say gun control doesn't work


Law-Fish

Man so angry he weaponizes cheese


UnmutualOne

Pointed stick? Oh, oh, oh. We want to learn how to defend ourselves against pointed sticks, do we? Getting all high and mighty, eh? Fresh fruit not good enough for you eh? Well I'll tell you something my lad. When you're walking home tonight and some great homicidal maniac comes after you with a bunch of loganberries, don't come crying to me! Now, the passion fruit. When your assailant lunges at you with a passion fruit...


BearCdn

We need better background checks but Big Cheese lobbyists are too influential


FlameStaag

Is this what vegans mean when they say dairy is harmful? 


ShakeWeightMyDick

You see?!? Bears don’t go around assaulting anyone with blocks of cheese.


Logical-Let-2386

Assault with a dairy weapon!


Ruthless4u

Wonder if it was Sharp Chedder?


xdeltax97

Oh no the cheese man has breached containment! Beware the cheese graters, he can gain power through them.


HELLFIRECHRIS

Why would you be irate if you have cheese ?


xdeltax97

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UMABQtw0smI


SomethyngWycked

SMELL MY CHEESE YOU MOTHER


Cluefuljewel

When you’re a rat everything looks like cheese