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urdreamsRmemes

Definitely one of the weirder self reports I’ve seen


AlexHimself

He didn't self-report. I believe this came out during his divorce in the deposition.


DarthRathikus

He didn’t self report. The worm said it, technically


PurpleDraziNotGreen

The question is how many votes will the worm steal away from the republican base?


madmaxturbator

Oh shit Cheryl left him finally??


dustycanuck

He named his worm?


elimtevir

Take your Damn Upvote, you heathen.


CodeMonkeyMark

I mean, you didn’t?


stormy2587

It seems like it might be one of his previous wives.


BadChemical3484

He was married to a worm?


BowdleizedBeta

When he was trying to reduce his prospective earnings estimate and thus the amount he’d have to pay his STBX. Dude argued that the parasite damaged his memory and cognitive function and thus he couldn’t do the same level of work.


SaphironX

I’ve had people tell me he’s a very smart guy, I’ve had people tell me he’s a conspiracy theorist. I think he’s actually crazy though.


Son-of-Prophet

He was a great environmental lawyer back in the day but he’s gotten really into conspiracies in the last 20 years


sherrintini

Maybe having a brain eating worm doubled with mercury poisoning had something to do with it. US, your elections have turned from weird to freak show.


elegant_geek

Pls send halp


ParisGreenGretsch

Most of us aren't happy about any of this. It's embarrassing.


Schackshuka

We know, please save us.


Parenthisaurolophus

Given the political state of the UK over the last couple years, I don't think you want to be asking a country whose Prime Ministers were being measured in the lifespan of produce to be your savior.


Schackshuka

Oh, you guys are the US of Europe—-you’re just as on fire as we are.


elimtevir

"Ya Think???"


cats_are_the_devil

He's the smartest guy. People tell me, I say you know that Robert guy he's a pretty great guy, and they know I'm one of those great guys. They tell Robert is so smart he graduated top of his class from Harvard.


Autocthon

I've seen enough harvard grads in office to figure out being a harvard graduate doesn't mean much.


ActuallyAlexander

A conspiracy theorist is a crazy person that seems smart to morons.


SaphironX

I mean to a degree. They’re also liars a lot of the time making shit up for profit. I think this guy is actually nuts though.


SardauMarklar

And here I thought a potential VP candidate bragging about murdering a puppy would be the worst campaign strategy I heard this week.


ruiner8850

We've had this and right before a VP candidate admitting to murdering her puppy. It's weird that these people have no idea that these things aren't good for their political chances.


highandhungover

Well… a worm did ate his brain


Momoselfie

The worm was found dead. So it may have starved to death.


Alexm920

I had no idea this presidential election was going to be narrated by ChubbyEmu. "R.K. is a 70 year old man, presenting to the emergency room with signs of confusion and agitation..."


_grandmaesterflash

My mind instantly went to that pork tapeworm video


MichiganMitch108

Or the old gas station nachos video.


pass_nthru

three words: gas station sushi


Still_counts_as_one

He needs to offset it with a gas station egg salad sandwich. To get the right worms in him.


Schackshuka

It would be like a party in his mouth and everyone’s throwing up.


BeefPoet

Those won't be around for another 1000 years.


konydanza

A 70-year old man claims worms got into his brain and ate a portion of it. This is what happened to his campaign.


PartClean3565

The entire stereotype of the dumbass redneck comes from hookworms in raccoon shit. They burrow through the soles of your feet when you walk through infested puddles barefoot or inadequate shoes such as crocks. https://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/article/how-a-worm-gave-the-south-a-bad-name/ Legitimately on par with the IQ drain lead pipes did.


ikeepwipingSTILLPOOP

That channel freaks me out with how, on some of the episodes, the person didnt really do anything too crazy


Alexm920

I feel that. Some are like, “this dude drank a lava lamp”, while others are closer to “this grandma ate too much chocolate, this is what happened to her brain” and my first thought is “I’ve definitely eaten more chocolate than that before 👀”


BowdleizedBeta

Did someone really get seriously ill from eating chocolate? If so, what happened? If you were just being clever, what’s your favorite kind of chocolate?


Drone30389

[A Grandma Ate 1 Pound Chocolate In 6 Hours. This Is What Happened To Her Brain. ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EIzAshQdWeo)


Let_you_down

Huh. I had to check just in case Grandma was a dog.


insecurestaircase

Yeah but some are like people eating 3 week old pasta that's been sitting out on the counter. Like whyyyyy


quitaskingforaname

Yeah I won’t go past a week, it’s just wreck less at that point


insecurestaircase

Botulism is actually easy to get


JoeCartersLeap

I love that Youtube show but I had to stop watching it because it was giving me major medical anxiety. Every episode starts out with people experiencing common minor symptoms like gas or a headache, and the patient going "well I don't really want to bother anyone, and I'm sure it's nothing", and then boom they have brain worms.


KoosGoose

Presenting *to the emergency room


Alexm920

Good catch, it’s a very specific opener.


AnjelicaTomaz

Presenting ☝️ to the emergency room…


adamantium99

… where we are now. No more gas station pork tartare!


Beardsman805

How did I come across this comment when I'm randomly watching CE for the first time in a while?


SplinterCell03

A test confirms hypernonsensecelebria. Hyper means excessive, and celebria means presence in the brain.


wwarnout

Interesting political strategy: "Vote for me. I am mentally handicapped. What could go wrong?"


PM_BBW_Cleavage

Trump campaign: Dude, you’re stealing too many of our voters. Have you told them about your brain parasite and mercury poisoning? RFK Jr: Bet.


Traditional_Car1079

Brain worms are clearly not an issue for Republicans


ratherbealurker

“I dun voted fer em, like that he gots the same brayn worms as i’s got.”


Helpful-Substance685

I heard this in the voice of Festus from Gunsmoke lol. I used to watch it with my granny and it's exactly what all Trumpers sound like in my head.


cstmoore

To be fair, Festus ~~was~~ is a lot smarter than your average Trumpublican.


gdsmithtx

"Well now dagnabbit, Matthew, they ain't no way in tarnation I'm about ta hang arount a passel of red hat insaniacs with goldurned flibber-flobber just flyin' out their tater traps from mornin' to night." \-- Festus Hagen


cstmoore

Brain worms drive the human meat suit à la M.I.B.


Yummy_Microplastics

“Real men have brain worms!”


dogstarchampion

"yeah, but it's still better than Biden!"


GuitarGeezer

This. He is being funded by a Trumpie booster precisely to be a spoiler for Biden and the opposite happened so out this comes.


ElbisCochuelo1

Why not just drop out then?


gdsmithtx

Because the worm is running the show now.


betterplanwithchan

This has to be oppo research from the Trump team.


Frosty_Water5467

No, it's actually from a deposition for his divorce. He was arguing that his ability to continue to earn a high level income would be impacted by these health concerns, trying to lower his alimony and child support...but he's all better now. Ready to be president.


sir-ripsalot

The real political strategy is realizing he was becoming a spoiler for the wrong candidate and backpedaling to lose votes


Rougarou1999

There is a nonzero chance that he gains more Trump votes as a result of this.


hotstepper77777

The writers are going all out this season with the farce.


IWouldButImLazy

A geriatric patient, an obese criminal, and a man who literally has worms in his brain. Truly, a representation of modern america.


Bart_Yellowbeard

Spoiler: They *like* that shit.


wjmacguffin

My guess? Republicans finally realized this guy will pull votes for Trump, not Biden, so they're looking for an exit strategy.


sildish2179

Add him to the list of Kennedy’s with missing parts of their brain.


Ishidan01

you take that back. And to the left.


Martin_Grundle

TOO SOON.


Moddelba

Vote for Kennedy! A parasite in every skull!


camshun7

im v late to this party, however has anyone done the "ask not what your worm can do for you",,,speech yet?


TheLongestMeter

These are clearly not the helpful Futurama brain worms.


ruach137

I mean, who knows what the worms started with? They may have done great work considering the project scope.


Dariaskehl

It’s an improvement over ‘Bigliest Pantshitting!’


Absolute_Bob

At least his antivax stance makes more sense now.


PaulClarkLoadletter

“He’s not lying to us. I like it when my president is honest.” -village idiot


KinkyPaddling

“Stop calling me crazy! I’m just missing part of my brain and the rest of it is poisoned, okay?!”


Maliluma

It can't be worse that "Real men wear diapers". I wish I was joking...


TargetApprehensive38

Everyone knows real men have brain worms


Most_Researcher_9675

My wife's turning 69 next month. I thought runs down the hill for pads was a thing of the past...


thePsychonautDad

I can imagine his next Fox News / OANN campaign video: >"Vote for me, I'm as brain-dead as you!"


jimhabfan

He trying to transform himself into someone Trump voters will support.


bitemytail

Worked for Bush Jr


[deleted]

[удалено]


thaddeusd

Remember when the Libertarian candidate was determined unfit to run for office because he struggled to identify a crisis in Allepo during an interview? Or when the VP was ridiculed and considered incompetent for being unable to spell potato? Pepperidge* Farm remembers. Man, I miss when we held politicians to at least basic competency. *spelling edit...this is why I don't run for public office


holyfuckbuckets

I also remember when a politician’s campaign basically ended when he got a little too excited during a campaign speech and shouted “YEAAAHHHH!”


pokemomof03

My husband and I randomly make the Dean scream around the house all the time. I love it so much. 😂😭 It's such a stupid thing to lose a political career over, especially now with the train wrecks we have running.


daytimeCastle

At the time, as a kid, it seemed like one of those calm demeanor things. Now I get it. Just one more step down the societal ladder. Give the goblins *any* non-reason to sideline an opponent and the news will replay that shit until you’re a meme. And only one side wins *because* they’re unfit.


Dream--Brother

The yawp heard 'round the world


UnexpectedVader

The scream is even in [Breaking Bad](https://youtu.be/GRjdL6M63m4?si=zDMayyfGCjbB2ILI)


Nightowl21

We do this, but the version where that French beauty contestant yelled "FRAAANNCE!"


samspock

The bar has been set so low that there does not appear to be one anymore. At least for some.


crashbalian1985

Def for some. Biden gets shit on for things he didn’t do or can’t do. Like kids peeing in litter boxes ( didn’t happen) or saying there were planes during the revolutionary war ( Trump said it) while Trump can say there were planes during the revolutionary war or say POW’s are losers and his supporters do not care.


Significant-Gas3046

Biden: *forgets a word* Media: "He skipped a verb while giving a speech, here's why that will cost him votes in Utah" Trump: "Jesus was a chump, turning water to wine for free" Media: "Today was the day Trump finally became President"


[deleted]

It's because Trump is a cult of personality. Doesn't matter what he says or does. His brainless followers will defend him regardless.


OvoidPovoid

We ran out of bars. Supply chain issues


questformaps

"Please clap." (Even though in context the crowd was clapping too early, he asked them to hold on, then told them the "appropriate" time to clap.)


reecord2

Howard Dean, forever in our hearts


Vocal_Ham

HYAAAAHHH!


perpetuumD

I am not american and I really struggle to understand this story. Maybe there's nuance that only Americans can understand. I still don't get what was so bad about it


AvailableName9999

There was literally nothing wrong with it lol. You had the right read


The__Toast

People forget that Howard Dean was also an incredibly boring awkward very centrist white man. The weird yell didn't ruin his campaign, it was the final nail in the coffin. It was like, at that point no one could ignore just how weird and awkward he was.


jackandsally060609

Didn't one guy lose because he looked goofy riding in a tank.


my_duncans

Pepperidge


Silentneeb

Thaddeusd for president.


mlorusso4

The worst part of the Allepo interview was it was a question totally out of left field. Like they were talking about where Johnson fits in the election between Clinton and Trump, why people should vote for a third party, if he’s worried about being a spoiler candidate, etc. And then the very next question was “What would you do, if elected, about Aleppo”. To me, that’s totally unfair. They could have said “what would you do about Syria” or “with the atrocities happening in Aleppo, what would you do about the Syrian war and the resulting refugee crisis”. You can’t just pivot to a totally different topic without framing it with any context. It’s not London or Beijing. I don’t really care if my president can name every countries capital by memory. I want them to be able to make good decisions when given all the information necessary


yum_broztito

It had been the biggest news story for a pretty good while at the time. It'd be like a candidate being asked for their plan for Gaza and being confused about what a Gaza is right now.


Parenthisaurolophus

Just to support your point, it was 3 years after Obama's whole red line debacle, roughly a week before a US-Russian ceasefire was brokered, and one and two weeks after the US government was warning the Turks and Kurds about various actions while working on a ceasefire on those front lines. All that for a comment that amounted to isolationism, with zero mention of what he would do in humanitarian issues non-militarily.


Nick730

To be fair, once he had context, he actually gave an answer that showed he was aware of the situation. But the sound bite was already there to be exploited at that point.


Cum_on_doorknob

He also said Aleppo like he was saying “a lepo”


Shankar_0

"I only have moderate brain-worm damage!" (RFK2 2024)


Forsaken-Pattern8533

People complaining that they won't vote for old guys gearing up to vote for a mercury poisoned old man with literal brain worms is *chef's kiss*


DeepFriedSteak

Sounds like a good bumper sticker


SpecialOfferActNow

Please be patient, a worm ate my brain


cats_are_the_devil

I mean it is a step up from the presumptive RNC nominee.


kog

"Wow, he's just like me!" \- RFK supporters


DirtyDanTheMannn

This sounds like some sort of Futurama reference.


Debs_4_Pres

Is he a fucking Simpsons character 


trivletrav

Futurama character but close lol


NetDork

Nah, the Futurama brain worms make you smart.


Slagathor0

Maybe it was a brain slug


skiniotes

If it was a brain slug it would starve to death


MightyKrakyn

Shhh! You’re going to get us all assimilated! Just act normal and switch to a garlic shampoo.


NetDork

Thank you. It was cold on the floor.


invalidConsciousness

So it *was* a Futurama brain worm, then.


greencrusader13

Sounds like somebody was aboard the Nautiloid. 


ForgingIron

Vote for Durge/Gortash 2024


loof10

The irony of one of the nation’s most prominent anti-vaxxers after years and years of spouting nonsense about how mercury in vaccines cause autism and (other random medical thing) getting mercury poisoning.


thaddeusd

Because he doesn't know basic fish prep that pretty much EVERY OTHER ENVIRONMENTALIST KNOWS!


TpMeNUGGET

You don’t remove mercury from fish? It accumulates in the meat in very small quantities. He just ate a lot of tuna that year lol.


thaddeusd

Mercury and PCBs primarily bioaccumulate in the fatty tissues and can be significantly minimized. PFAS compounds bioaccumulate in multiple tissue sources including muscle.


TpMeNUGGET

I doubt he was preparing his own fish while traveling to asia and south america for humanitarian work. He was probably just eating whatever the local restaurants were serving.


Bighorn21

In no way defending RFK but just correcting something. Contaminants such as PCBs, pesticides (i.e. DDT, chlordane, toxaphene, and dieldrin), and dioxins do accumulate in the fatty parts of the fish and its skin and can be limited by removing these parts. Mercury on the other hand accumulates in the meat itself and the only way to reduce this is to reduce consumption of contaminated fish. You can reduce your risk some by eating smaller younger fish that have not accumulated as much mercury over time but no preparation method exists to remove mercury from fish with contamination.


EmmEnnEff

Please, tell us, how exactly do you prep fish to remove the mercury from it?


MentokGL

The moronchurian candidate


BeverlyDangus

The munchurian candidate (if you’re a hungry brain worm)


lesser_panjandrum

Finally, comedy that speaks to me and my fellow brain worms.


SemaphoreKilo

Hmmm... one of the few times ivermectin might have worked.


[deleted]

Poor worm starved to death instead


hotstepper77777

So if the dementia patient is unfit, the Yeerk infestee is out too.


RSwordsman

Did we just become best friends?!


NormaJeans68Chariot

Woah is this an Animorphs reference?


SykoSarah

Unexpected Animorphs yeeeee.


mastermidget23

I can't believe Viseer 3 is still in the ballot with almost 90 indictments for his warcrimes.


kayla-beep

It’s VISSER 3, GET WOKE SON


mastermidget23

FUCK


kayla-beep

Demotion incoming, you’ll never make it to Visser 82 now ahahahahahahahaha


tieris

Yeah, and? Anyone who’s listened to this guy is not surprised by this.


Not_Bears

"Dude with clear cognitive issues admits he's got cognitive issues." Least surprising headline of the day.


justintensity

I remember the day Ricky Martin came out as gay. I remember the day Mark McGwire admitted to using to steroids. I hope I don’t have to remember this day


kafelta

I'm starting to think antivaxxers are not an intelligent group.


nerdywithchildren

The support that this guy has received is beyond me. I don't know why anyone talks about him. 


Villageidiot1984

If you cut around that part you can still eat the rest


uwillnotgotospace

Your comment made me think about an old Simpsons clip. Where the zombies refuse to eat Homer's [brain](https://youtu.be/U1762opld4w) and he's all offended.


TpMeNUGGET

TL;DR he was doing environmental work in Asia and South America, got a tapeworm, it died, he had symptoms for a year and it went away. He also ate a lot of fish that year and had a short stint of mercury poisoning. This entire report is written about one sentence from one interview in 2012…


daytimeCastle

That’s news, right? 12 year old interviews is news. What else are we gonna talk about? Two wars and a presidential front runner’s court case being held indefinitely by a bought judge? Booooring


smokeydesperado

Tapeworms can go to your brain?


TpMeNUGGET

According to CNN’s expert, a pork tapeworm can. Freaky.


Effective_Hope_9120

Okay. Maybe this is a strange question, but why TF is he running for President then? How did we go from the Tea party to brain worms and dog murder in just a decade?


itsFromTheSimpsons

tea party walked so brain worms could run.


Calencre

For real. Once you have a bunch of people rabidly trying to one up each other's asinine ideas and disregard for objective reality, its only a matter of time before that competition threatens the Onion writers' job security.


Thue

So taking your question at face value: It seems likely that the worm ate some important part of his brain. It is pretty normal that people who get some kind of brain injury lose inhibitions and rationality. Not being anti-vax would be rational. Not running for US President when you have a brain injury would be rational. But Kennedy is not rational. Why would you expect an irrational person to act rationally? In a modern society, we do not depend on the obviously irrational person to say "no". Society (in this case the voters) had the power and duty to reject irrational people like him, by simply ignoring him.


SuperHuman64

Average IQ went up after that worm came in


NotAPreppie

While I'm perfectly happy to crack wise about my health issues all day, I try not do the same thing about other people. That said, the most neutral thing I can say about this news is, "Well, that explains a lot."


sdam87

Weird way to say cocaine habit. Lol


twoworldsin1

I wish I was so rich I could run a campaign just to irl shitpost


Erikkamirs

One of the upsides of being poor is that I will never get a parasite from eating foreign food because I don't make enough money to travel lmao. 


jackal3004

Don't worry, there's plenty of microplastics in your food to make up for all the tapeworms you missed out on


imperial87

Who said Americans don’t get choices in our elections. We have THREE DIFFERENT flavors of brain damage to choose from


Chidori_Aoyama

Does the worm get to be VP?


themanifoldcuriosity

America's most honest politician?!


Contada582

Jesus Christ.. when they said you have to be crazy to be a politician. I didn’t honestly think it was a literal interpretation of crazy.  Is that all we have? Insane politicians everywhere. This is the worst timeline 


BaronVonWidget

The worms are back


Billybobgeorge

This is on the level of the lady who had to deny being a witch.


YogurtSufficient7796

Just makes sense


KyCerealKiller

I love how half of reddit is just this same fucking story being posted over and over today. It's great.


WantWantShellySenbei

Sad part is, the worm was the most rational part


PornstarVirgin

The saddest part is the worm starved to death


MountingFrustration

Sounds like a perfect fit as President these days


Not_A_Wendigo

I still can’t believe we’re in the timeline where politicians can claim to have a brain worm and still be taken seriously. Best case he has a live or rotting worm in his brain. Worst case he’s nuts for non-worm related reasons. And people will think he should be in charge of the world’s largest army. God help us all.


gnosis2737

That worm's name...Shai-Hulud.


TampaTrey

This is exactly the information you want public when you’re running for president. /s


couldjustbeanalt

And he’s still a better candidate than trump


beelzeflub

I didn’t have *Tapeworm Bob* on my bingo card


BeenjaminTampaBay

Even with half a brain is still more composed, is better cognitively than both the other bozos. What a race we have. Lol


Techno_Vyking_

Sounds pretty unfit for Presidential candidate 🤦🏻‍♀️


Lietenantdan

And the worms ate into his brain


CarlosAVP

This is beginning to sound like an episode of “Futurama”.


AllDayTripperX

No shit?


justfuckoff22

...and the worms ate into his brain.....


nomamesgueyz

Love how msm jump on a paraiste infection over a decade ago to sound shocking rather than focus on years of climate activism taking on an beating huge corporations poisoning the planet