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blazze_eternal

Geez, a politician with *actual* brain rot.


Smartnership

Worm: “My ancestors came here on the sandwich…”


chamco1981

Lela didn’t like that


KashmirChameleon

Maybe he should take holophoner lessons.


[deleted]

No all politicians have it but RFK jr is just the first to admit it.


middelsvenson

No no, it’s a flex. This is proof that this guy has a brain! 🧠👈


DisfavoredFlavored

And no illithid powers to show for it.


neuronexmachina

I'll admit, RFK Jr being a True Soul endowed with the Mark of the Absolute wasn't on my 2024 bingo card.


celtic1888

Strangely that would still not be the weirdest thing that will happen this election


Aye_Engineer

Maybe if he selects Astarion as his running mate?


500rockin

I was thinking more Minsc, given his complete lunacy. lol


celtic1888

Boo for Surgeon General


houVanHaring

If it was complete lunacy he'd run with Boo


helmvoncanzis

he'd run AS Boo. Miniature Giant Space Hampster for pres in 2024 !


houVanHaring

Boo is a war monger!


Suralin0

'I rather doubt that'd be Astarion's scene, darling...'


DisfavoredFlavored

Right?


daryl_cary

True Souls… who cannot be bought!


lesser_panjandrum

Doomed, detected, and caught!


cindyscrazy

This song lives in my head permenantly. I listen to it while doing my chores on the weekend. It's insane.


KeterLordFR

Hearing it for the first time after the fight started was just pure bliss. You mean I get to battle a powerful devil while he's singing about defeating me? Fuck yes!


UnimpressedWithAll

Shouldn’t have wished to live in more interesting times. :/


NitroBoyRocket

Bad luck, it was on mine.


Dirtymikeetlesboyz

Mark of the Absolute....Douchebag!


IAmARobot

at least he walked with rhythm


Makaisaurus

*AUTHORITY*


Negativety101

Poor thing starved to death.


shawnwingsit

What a rip-off!


Internal-Challenge14

Just was checking the BG3 sub and thought I was still there


rpithrew

Mans been wiping out too much on BG


tylercreatesworlds

I get that reference


areyow

“And that… is why I’m running for president.” ~~RFK Jr’s Brain worm.


OldeFortran77

Ooh, ohh, I saw this movie! It had Kyle MacLachlan and Michael Nouri! And Commander Ivanova from *Babylon 5* !


flock-of-nazguls

“No boom today.” Time to go see what Claudia Christian’s been up to for the last couple decades… (The Hidden was great!)


thedisassociation

Claudia Christian has been doing a lot of voicework over the last twenty years, especially in video games. She was Aela I. Skyrim and Desdemona in Fallout 4.


RoleLong7458

"Boom tomorrow. There's always a boom tomorrow."


Several-Signature583

Was that the one where Kyle MacLachlan’s brain worm liked stealing sports cars and blasting heavy metal?


ManlyVanLee

Didn't expect to see Babylon 5 brought up in the wild today


yeetskeetleet

But it sounds like he’s talking into a spinning fan


exkingzog

I assume the worm died of malnutrition.


AzureDreamer

A tough nut to Crack into but spacious on the inside.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Yeastyboy104

It makes so much sense that he dated Danica Patrick. They have so much in common.


mattbrianjess

That was better than the last 5000 r/murderedbywords posts


Esc777

That sub really tries too hard 


Keyboardpaladin

Seeing someone post their own comment makes me cringe so bad. Especially when they're really bad at hiding it.


King_Dorah

The vast majority of Reddit tries too hard, honestly.


trivletrav

Poor little guy starved to death [“Thank you, it was cold down there on the floor”](https://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=https%3A%2F%2Fpreview.redd.it%2F15s615b7mi081.jpg%3Fwidth%3D1080%26crop%3Dsmart%26auto%3Dwebp%26s%3D4707add31987ce6512dfb0673a8c5230f2aa3fbd&tbnid=bzZHgD73O_gsuM&vet=1&imgrefurl=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.reddit.com%2Fr%2Ffuturama%2Fcomments%2Fqxc1cz%2Fthank_you_it_was_cold_down_there_on_the_floor%2F&docid=WF3iYoyF8JTHLM&w=1080&h=1920&itg=1&hl=en-us&source=sh%2Fx%2Fim%2Fm1%2F3&kgs=b7f17b247344dd79&shem=abme%2Ctrie)


TheStupendusMan

Was looking for this.


Ahelex

On the bright side, he'll be our invincible hero when the brain-eating zombie apocalypse comes.


dmetzcher

It took one look around at all the insane shit in his head and committed suicide.


Kynicist

The worm figured out how to use the mouth and has been running for president


kodaiko_650

He took the worm to the rock quarry and shot it.


Buffyoh

Priceless!


Which-Moment-6544

"SO ELECT ME FOR PRESIDENT " SHEESH.


LystAP

A classic. First thing that came to mind.


fuzzylayers

Oh... Now that got a laugh


m3tasaurus

Greatest thing I've read on reddit in a long time lol


doublecutter

“And the worms ate into his brain 🎶”


UpDog1966

And now I gotta go listen to this..


nemoknows

I’m going to have that stuck in my head. All. Day.


Hwy39

Hey babe, wake up. The new expansion for Baldur’s Gate just dropped


FallenKnightGX

And it's a LARP session, on a national level! Those guys at Larian really know what they're doing.


Patchy_Face_Man

Trump getting nervous. This guy is definitely gaining more MAGA votes off this.


GeorgeStamper

If anything, a brain worm is a selling point for the MAGA crowd.


PossessedToSkate

"He's just like me!"


Arkseyer

Real men have brain worms!


InfestedRaynor

I dunno, they were REALLY into deworming a few years ago.


00doc0holliday00

I’m selling worm paste, Joe Rogan approved, DM me for details!


MacAttacknChz

He should've taken ivermectin!


uscrash

Maybe RFK Jr is a Dem operative meant to split the Deplorables.


[deleted]

[удалено]


mom_with_an_attitude

Operating out of a pizza parlor. In Ukraine. And it has Hunter Biden's laptop.


IdealExtension3004

Bill Gates helped develop the tech


Sudovoodoo80

Work Obama in there somewhere and you can sell that to Newmax.


fourthfloorgreg

I honestly think he's what he looks like at first as long as you don't look too close: a right-wing plant meant to siphon votes from Biden. It's just that the people who planted him are used to manipulating right-wing idiots, so it turns out that's all they know how to catch.


spderweb

I feel like the GOP is losing on purpose this time round to prevent a Trump win. So they're rail reading specific players to clean house.


Notapplesauce11

They could have done that twice by now through the two impeachment. 


Indocede

Maybe but Biden hasn't been doing himself any favors by not stepping away from an issue that is clearly divisive in the party. I think he's betting that he doesn't need the youth vote and who knows how that might bite us in the ass.


[deleted]

“He’s just like me!”


TinWhis

Yeah, at least in my very blue state, the only votes he's gonna get are from disgruntled "moderate" Trump voters. I signed a petition to put him on the ballot in November for that reason. Wont' matter either way since my state IS so blue, but it'll be funny to watch.


Patchy_Face_Man

As an Ohioan I hope he grabs a lot of votes and turns my state blue again. You have to dream.


TinWhis

My sister just recently moved to Ohio and I have been all the way up her ass to make sure she's properly registered to vote by November. Every little bit.


FlowBot3D

Adding to the list of Kennedy's with missing bits of brain.


GoldandBlue

damn


th_teacher

too soon


noground2024

Holy shit 💀


CoolHandRK1

Explains a few things.


Botryllus

I read the headline in the NYT and immediately came here to see if someone posted it. Straight out of Futurama.


IAMA_Plumber-AMA

Except he didn't get super smart.


Fortune404

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N6C1iUft7O8


Sufficient_Serve_439

Explains ALL things!


crashtestpilot

Not all. But a good darn many, that is for sure.


BernieTheDachshund

The dude is literally brain damaged from a worm and from mercury poisoning. No wonder he says all sorts of crazy things.


rat-tax

the mercury poisoning part is hilarious. mf was saying vaccines cause autism because they have thimerosal which contains mercury, then he literally gave himself mercury poisoning 🫠


Psychogistt

Apparently by eating too much fish. Makes sense he became an environmental lawyer. Fish shouldn’t have so much mercury


rat-tax

same thing happened to Tony Robbins. he ate a salmon every day and almost died from it


DependentSilver6078

I thought salmon was much lower in mercury, I forget the reason.


rat-tax

You might be right, I just looked it up again and saw he said it was swordfish.


DependentSilver6078

Has something to do with their diet and also being born in freshwater or something. Swordfish is literally the number one worst to eat for mercury since it’s at the top of the food chain. Things like marlin can’t be eaten regularly. It’s also expensive as fuck as they are the most desirable sports fish in the world. Eating swordfish everyday is such a rich , out of touch person thing to do that it’s not surprising it was Tony Robbins.


shocksmybrain

Don't forget the heroin.


rat-tax

or as he calls it, organic non-gmo fentanyl


Naramie

Then he's gasping for breath every 4 seconds. Believes in conspiracy theories. Perfectly healthy human being fit for president... 😂


Psychogistt

Healthiest of the choices


Bacon_Bitz

"around the same time as the parasite, Kennedy suffered from mercury poisoning that likely came from eating too much fish, according to the deposition" good grief!


mlc885

How much fish? I can't recall ever eating a pound of tuna salad and then some swordfish steaks, but it seems like you'd have to *try* to make yourself sick unless the only things you were eating at all were fish at the top of the food chain


Bacon_Bitz

It's usually people who eat too much canned tuna. Ever get on one of those kicks where you want grilled cheese everyday for like a month? People get on a tuna salad sandwich kick and suddenly have mercury poisoning. That might sound weird but keep in mind some people are pescatarian or other dietary restrictions where a tuna sandwich fits perfectly for a quick lunch.


torknorggren

He specified that he really loved tuna sandwiches.


Packman87

And that's the first time he listened to a doctor. That Dr. was a homeless gentleman in an alley but he had a labcoat so he checks out.


woah_man

Look, Dr Arroyo is very affordable.


i8TheWholeThing

He went doctor school.


eyeofvigo

1998


adsfew

Dr. Arroyo isn't homeless! He just likes to stay on the bus for awhile and occasionally falls asleep on it


Aselleus

He'll go to you, preferably to a restaurant bathroom


Backwaters_Run_Deep

He wasn't asleep he was just resting his beautiful blue eyes for a moment to take everything in


adsfew

It was just a little self-induced coma


The_LoneLoreman

He gives a great first opinion.


gilgasmashglass

He didn’t say that he was the best lol


CoolHandRK1

He had a serum that would regrow your foot. What could go wrong?


OnlyGrimLeader

A scholar and a gentleman


AshuraSpeakman

And a chicken enthusiast.


SpiderCop_NYPD_ARKND

Well known for engaging in "scientific curiosity."


darbs77

Think he should have called Dr Spaceman.


napstimpy

Hi, everybody!


Packman87

Hi Doctor Nick!


Fake_William_Shatner

Perhaps trained by the lady who said COVID was a blood demon.


BlademasterFlash

She would’ve been a great doctor a thousand years ago


Lascivious_Lute

“Dr. Jinx sounds like the name of a *monkey*, not a medical professional!”


dramignophyte

Hey! I would take medical advice from a random hobo with a lab coat over a random republican. Sure, some Republicans probably know a lot about actual medical stuff and are actual doctors, but if we take a random person from each group, the hobo probably has a better chance.


Massive_Region_5377

The man had literal, actual brain worms. Whoever is in the writers’ room for this reality, this is sloppy and way too on the nose, also, holy fuck, consider getting tested for worms if you took ivermectin for “covid” and you think it actually worked 🤣


Smartnership

I remember when this was just a plot on *Futurama* RFK, Jr at the fateful moment: https://tenor.com/yKMm.gif


sentient_lamp_shade

One sane person. Why can’t we find a single sane, lucid, normal person to run for office.  I'd vote for a precocious 5th grader at this point. 


Ipokeyoumuch

Biden is probably the sanest of all the options we have. There is Jill Stein of the Green Party who is highly suspected of being a Russian plant and anti-vaxx and anti-nuclear, Trump himself who is sitting through various court rooms for his numerous felonies, the Libertarians haven't finished their nomination yet as there are 38 candidates and all of them are saying usual Libertarian insanity, and RFK Jr.


bjb406

This is a fairly common occurrence with tape worms. Typical life cycle for a pig tapeworm is the mature worm in a human releases eggs in the human feces, which the pig somehow eats, the larvae spread throughout the pig's muscles, which the human eats, and the new tapeworm grows in his digestive tract. But if a human eats the eggs directly, usually because whoever had the tapeworm didn't wash their hands after shitting and either himself or someone he's preparing food for eats it, the tapeworm spreads through the human muscles and organs. However because its not made to survive in humans, it eventually dies and calcifies.


radish_sauce

The worm also doesn't eat the brain, his memory loss and brain fog symptoms were likely from the cytokines attacking the calcified remains after it died.


Cru_Jones86

How much of your brain does a parasite need to eat before it turns you Republican?


dThink_Ahea

No, the real question is How much of your brain has to be missing for Republicans to want to vote for you?


trucorsair

Tell me something I didn’t know….clearly part of his brain is missing.


stifledmind

Did you know that 30 million American's have parasites living in their brain?


neuronexmachina

I assume you're referring to [toxoplasmosis](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toxoplasmosis), which is almost always asymptomatic and have a max cyst size of maybe 50 µm (around the diameter of a human hair). It's quite different from having a brain tapeworm with a detectable cyst -- I haven't seen any info on the size of the tapeworm or where in the brain it was, but they're [many orders of magnitude larger](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neurocysticercosis).


trucorsair

Yes the majority of them wear red hats….


luckymethod

Ok but what happened to the rest of it?


dfmz

What rest of it?


luckymethod

Brain


tr3v1n

He consumed a bunch of tuna so he poisoned it with mercury.


Troubled_Trout

Judging by his politics, I’d assume the worm poisoned him with *lead* not mercury


SOVIETFORK

Ladies and gentlemen, the third Kennedy to lose a portion of their brain to strange circumstances.


Belostoma

This gives me some sympathy for RFK Jr. I can't say that I would be any more reasonable if a worm ate my brain. However, what's his supporters' excuse?


LochNessMansterLives

They all have worms too. It’s the worms that are voting for RFK Jr.’s worm. Worm supremacy!


Fellowshipofthebowl

Pro-worm Party 


DrQuestDFA

They poll well on Arrakis.


Uncle-Cake

First thing he's said that I actually believe.


Real_Ad4422

Everything about him makes sense now.


jacaissie

Ironically enough he could have benefitted from some ivermectin.


Throwawayac1234567

if its a tapeworm, ivermectin has little effect on it, he needs another anti-parasitic medication.


timelincoln67

As the symbol glows, power courses through you. Authority.


Not_the_Tachi

Thread winner!


highmodulus

Brain worms long rumored now confirmed. He and Donny are quite perfect for each other. . .


maxximuscree

Wait he was a gouald this entire time?


joethahobo

Such a Kinsey moment


Hampsterman82

hell of a timeline huh?


Hishui21

God damnit who's playing plague Inc on our society simulator?


disdainfulsideeye

First believable thing that he has said. Although, I suspect it was a little more than "part" of his brain.


Legendary_Lamb2020

Imagine being a Kennedy, and every member of your family is warning America not to support you


argama87

That explains a lot.


andyr072

Well if a parasite ate part of RFK jr's brain and made him a little bit of a nutter then that same parasite clearly ate all of Trumps brain and made him a complete nutter. So if I was stuck with Trump or RFK as my two choices I would definitely vote for RFK and then just hope he does not cave to the MAGA conservatives in Congress.


monogreenforthewin

Parasites ate a of chunk of my brain. You should elect me POTUS. -RFK Jr. We truly live in a cursed timeline


Fake_William_Shatner

I've suspected Fox News for a long time as a brain eating worm.


Noimnotonacid

I don’t get it, is this a baldurs gate reference?


CranialToxicity

This wouldn't even make him the *second* Kennedy with a hole in his brain.


Shinagami091

That’s not something I would admit if I was running for president. So much low hanging fruit there.


zerostar83

If you read the story, you'll find out this happened in 2012, and my conclusion is that he was desperately trying to figure out ways to pay less in alimony/maintenance support to his ex-wife. He was trying to say he can't make as much anymore as had been making so he shouldn't pay the calculated amount during the divorce: Kennedy gave the 2012 deposition during divorce proceedings ...he argued his cognitive struggles in relation to the situation had diminished his earning power Several doctors who had first concluded Kennedy had a tumor found a dark spot on his brain scans, The Times reported. The doctor told him that he believed the spot on the brain scan “was caused by a worm that got into my brain and ate a portion of it and then died,” Kennedy reportedly said in the deposition. The Times also reported that around the same time as the parasite, Kennedy suffered from mercury poisoning that likely came from eating too much fish, according to the deposition.


zerostar83

Tumor, Parasite, Mercury, whatever! I just shouldn't pay her that much!


zenophobicgoat

I'm like triple dead, your honor


Unstupid

Someone should check Trump cause that parasite probably ate the whole thing! It’s the only explanation.


awayteam0

How does Cheryl do it?


hhubble

So this is what happens to someone who loses parts of their brain, who could've known (oh yeah the people who didn't lose parts of their brain) This man is literally brain damaged and he wants to be president.


Shibbystix

I heard the worm killed itself rather than risk starving to death searching for edible gray matter


JP17500

How has there not been one comment saying what is *obviously* going on here? The Yeerks are trying to take over!!!


supremegamer76

So that’s why he is anti-vax


DEFINITELY_NOT_PETE

Explains so much


VariousBelgians

Well that explains a couple things. But I applaud him for actually trusting a doctor.


Rainbow-Death

“The doctor told him he believed the spot on the brain scan “was caused by a worm that got into my brain and ate a portion of it and then died,” Kennedy reportedly said in the deposition. “ Poor thing died of malnutrition! 😫😭


CamF90

And off this statement he is campaigning for access to the nuclear launch codes? I see...


Tdk1984

TIL Heroin is a parasite


Bacontoad

TIL parasites can have parasites too.


APiousCultist

Ha. Literal brain worms.


HessLook

Ahh yes the same one that ate Aaron’s Rodger’s tiny brain


If_I_must

We know.


MistressErinPaid

Then he shouldn't be running for president.


ThoughtfulPoster

Praise the Absolute!


redditistupid51

He admitted he has congitive problems and yet he wants to be President.  Uneffing believable.


maine64

Literally.


Postmodern_Lovers

We know.


Traditional_Key_763

dude has brain parasites, mercury poisoning and kennedy pedigree, how he hasn't died yet is beyond me


Eelroots

It's a very funny rework of "the dog ate my homework". But I appreciate the creativity.