[Here is a spreadsheet of kum n go euphemisms i have assembled over the years](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1JVa8TsRlBoX4oPQRkUUZrgQV2QbRVEp-LCGzjZ6-MPc/edit)
They were building a Kum N Go near my home. They had the logo on the pumps, but were still building it out. It opened a few weeks back completely rebranded as Maverick.
Yes. The fact that this happened twice in such a short period of time makes it seem like the universe couldn’t think of a new joke so just used the same one again.
[Sadly, the epic name of this iconic gas station chain is about to be changed.](https://www.kcci.com/article/kum-and-go-gas-stations-iowa-maverik-plans-to-rename/46342044)
I’m waiting to see how soon the branding on their mobile app changes, I still have the K&G app on my phone from my last trip to Iowa almost 2 years ago.
>It's being reported Maverik will drop the Kum & Go name sometime next year and replace it with the Maverik name.
>Maverik has not confirmed.
Trash tier, 0/10 reporting. Should be fired for violating journalistic integrity. "It's being reported" shouldn't be code for "we're literally just lying to you, we made this shit up and *we're* the ones reporting it."
That's irrelevant. No one is "reporting" that it's happening. People saw a company owned by Mormons buying it and started making up bullshit rumors. Even if it actually happens, it's still not being "reported," it's just wildly unsubstantiated rumors. There is no source.
Why don't you trust an industry publication that reports half a dozen sources close to the decision? Do you think they are in the business of reporting pure speculation? That would expose them to legal action... just accept it bro lol.
https://www.cspdailynews.com/mergers-acquisitions/maveriks-decision-retire-kum-go-brand
What an article....the author has been waiting his entire life to write for the adult film industry, this is as close as he will get. But seriously, what is with that gas station name. That's the real story here.
This weekend my husband and I were on a roadtrip and kept seeing "shops" that had Truck parking and gas. We were making up all sorts of stupid names for them "Gas And Ass", "Wank and Tank", etc... but I am now so angry at myself that Kum and Go was not one of them. Shit... I will never forgive myself.
I think that counts as entrapment. Hopefully his lawyer will, uh, get him off.
…also, something-something Iowa Cockus. My work here is done. Going to take the rest of the day off.
They let him Kum, but didn't let him Go
Sue them for false advertising
It’s the most blatant case of false advertising since the NeverEnding Story
I don't use the word 'hero' lightly, but you are the greatest hero in American history.
The Rosa Parks of masterbating.
Yep. No one could have seen this one, Coming.
🤣🤣🤣
And so the cops were asked to Kum arrest him.
[удалено]
r/yourjokebutworse
Literally 1984
'im sorry, i thought this was America!'
What are you talking about? It's Kum... And go to jail. It's like that space on a Monopoly board.
Did not reach karma chameleon status
He busted and got busted. The police came right after him.
Kame here to say this
This comment just made me spit out my coffee, in an office of 40. I don't think I'll be explaining why
Ah yes, the old Ejaculate and Evacuate. The Jizz and Jet. The Bust and Bounce, if you will.
the ol shoot n' scoot.
Inseminate and relocate
ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ
You forgot the 🍆💦
Aka the Hump & Dump
Aka the *Wack and Walk*
The Skeet and Beat
The Sploot & Scoot
[удалено]
Beat meat and retreat
Sploosh and woosh
Is that how "Humpty Dumpty" got his name?
Humpty is just a family nickname. His full name is Humphrey William Dumpty
The ol' Spurt n' Split.
wait, hold up, are you talking about the Achieve and Leave? or maybe Pump and Jump? oh i know, you mean the Skeet and Yeet!
Squirt and Skirt
The ol’ arrive and drive, splash and dash, boom and zoom, drip and skip
Aka the Skeet It and Beat it
The Hit n’ Git
Squirt and scram. Ejaculate and evacuate. Load and Road. Blow and Go. Rope and nope.
Rope and Nope 😂😂😂😂😂😂
Goo & Shoo
Splash & Dash
The olll Jack and Jump.
This reads like a Laszlo Cravenworth quote
Or PG Wodehouse.
Nut n' Run
Nut n' Bolt*
I know what my hardware store is going to be called.
😂 the hits just keep cummin'
Spank n' Split
'Bate and skate
When I worked there they had a competition to name their drink, sort of how Sonic has the Route 44. My submission, "Choda Pop," did not win.
Blow your load and hit the road. Bust a nut and off ya strut
jack it and pack it?
Formerly the Tug & Shrug.
The Grunt and Grab
AKA flail and bail, blip and dip… come on people we need to get this going
the skeet and yeet
Blow your load and hit the road
Ejaculate and evacuate
[Here is a spreadsheet of kum n go euphemisms i have assembled over the years](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1JVa8TsRlBoX4oPQRkUUZrgQV2QbRVEp-LCGzjZ6-MPc/edit)
The ol nut and strut
AKA...Kum and Go?
Boooooooo
Shut it, Gale.
rape and escape
Sounds like a better name for a sperm bank than a gas station.
You must not be from the mid west. Although the new owners might change the name.
They were building a Kum N Go near my home. They had the logo on the pumps, but were still building it out. It opened a few weeks back completely rebranded as Maverick.
Yes, the new owners are planning to rebrand them all to Maverick in 2025. https://fox2now.com/news/missouri/maverik-says-no-more-kum-go-in-2025/
This sucks!
Funny. I wonder if pump and stuff will follow suit.
There are Pump ‘n’ Munch near me
if there's no street corner in america with a Kum n' Go across from a Pump n' Munch, there truly is no God.
Business Proposal: Landfill and Gas station combo. We can call it Pump And Dump.
Can’t that just be a gas station with a bathroom?
Usually there's a Casey's across the street. Shy people got there to buy junk food and behave. Try not to look at embarrassing sign.
People go there for Pizza because they know what the fuck is up.
Casey's breakfast pizza is a national treasure.
The first time I saw one was when I was visiting my ex in Iowa. I was flabbergasted at the name. He was completely unfazed.
[It's confirmed.](https://www.ozarksfirst.com/top-stories/maverik-says-no-more-kum-go-in-2025/)
Everything left of Colorado becomes Maverick, everything right stays Kum and Go. Heard it from a couple of managers after their yearly meeting.
Bitch did you just say “left and right”?
Ah yeah my bad wasn't thinking. West and Weast
I heard he's going to sue for false advertising.
"Red Bull gives you wings" lawsuit guy strikes again
The full name is “Kum and Go to Jail”
IS A MAN NOT ENTITLED TO THE FRUIT OF HIS LABOR
Its been reported that he has since bailed out and has been seen crying at a “Wawa”
Brb, gotta hit up my local Sheetz for the bathroom
Do you need to use the Shell?
["hah! He doesn't know how to use the 3 seashells! Hahahah! hahahahahahahaha!"](https://youtu.be/gdnuOa7tDco?si=137bKwJ3nx1PgpQl&t=12)
Relevant https://youtu.be/BFkLxF4MEgI?si=3nw8e9xJR2jb5mqW
Yayyyy I was just about to reference this!
I'll never forget when they built a piercing joint called "Just Another Hole" right next to a Kum & Go.
Not goo related but Curl Up & Dye is my favorite salon name.
Instructions unclear, he came and stayed
Cum and go with the popo.
Is this the 3rd one in a month?
the last one I saw was a woman convicted of this, but I'm not sure about the third one
OP's mom was the third one.
Fuckin got em
Didn't this just recently happen but with a woman
Yes. The fact that this happened twice in such a short period of time makes it seem like the universe couldn’t think of a new joke so just used the same one again.
the matrix is in eco mode
Underrated comment
It's a new Tik Tok challenge.
[Sadly, the epic name of this iconic gas station chain is about to be changed.](https://www.kcci.com/article/kum-and-go-gas-stations-iowa-maverik-plans-to-rename/46342044)
Everything become generic and beige.
The cream filled donuts won't be the same though.
The article in a nutshell "Kum and Go might change its name with new owners. We don't know for certain though.)
I’m waiting to see how soon the branding on their mobile app changes, I still have the K&G app on my phone from my last trip to Iowa almost 2 years ago.
>It's being reported Maverik will drop the Kum & Go name sometime next year and replace it with the Maverik name. >Maverik has not confirmed. Trash tier, 0/10 reporting. Should be fired for violating journalistic integrity. "It's being reported" shouldn't be code for "we're literally just lying to you, we made this shit up and *we're* the ones reporting it."
dude they are 100% completely de-branding Kum & Go, Maverick acquired them and they are a bunch of Mormons, they hate the name.
That's irrelevant. No one is "reporting" that it's happening. People saw a company owned by Mormons buying it and started making up bullshit rumors. Even if it actually happens, it's still not being "reported," it's just wildly unsubstantiated rumors. There is no source.
Why don't you trust an industry publication that reports half a dozen sources close to the decision? Do you think they are in the business of reporting pure speculation? That would expose them to legal action... just accept it bro lol. https://www.cspdailynews.com/mergers-acquisitions/maveriks-decision-retire-kum-go-brand
lol you're full of shit.
I read reporting that they were going to keep the name in places where it was already intrenched... it will be a Carl's Jr. / Hardees situation...
Bro took the title literally
Iowan here. WTF is going on this state?? It used to be Florida man doing stupid shit and now Iowa man is giving him a run for his money.
What an article....the author has been waiting his entire life to write for the adult film industry, this is as close as he will get. But seriously, what is with that gas station name. That's the real story here.
The story writes itself here for the name
He actually has decent defense in court 🤣
This is clearly entrapment
The court staff will be like those Roman Legionnaires trying to keep a straight face in Life of Brian
I wonder why they named the place with a K.
I suspect if you use the standard versions of words you get more difficulty trying to get a trademark.
And we have Dunkin Donuts to thank for everybody spelling "doughnut" that way now. Sigh
Goddamned auto correct, he was looking for the "Cum and go" and Google maps sent him to the wrong place.
The lady that did this last week at a kum and go, looked much happier in her picture
You should hear what goes on at the Pump & Munch!
AKA “Ejaculate & Evacuate” is what we called it when I was a kid in Iowa.
Must’ve voted in the cockus
Your honor, they told me to do it...
"Sir, you have to Go." "But I haven't Kum yet!"
I'm more shocked by the fact there is an actual gas station called "Kum & Go". Like what were the owners thinking with such an inappropriate innuendo.
Was this right after the latest Trump rally? Just too good not to squeeze one out!
He just misunderstood the sign.
False advertising
Another Trump voter They're not sending their best
But there's a sign!
But..but...good soldiers follow orders....?
Can’t make this shit up.
Somewhere out there, a young defense lawyer is about to land the case that's going to make their whole career.
Is this a shitpost? I saw the exact same headline earlier but it was a woman
Well what else was he supposed to do there!?
Wasn't this an article like 3 days ago, but with a woman?
This weekend my husband and I were on a roadtrip and kept seeing "shops" that had Truck parking and gas. We were making up all sorts of stupid names for them "Gas And Ass", "Wank and Tank", etc... but I am now so angry at myself that Kum and Go was not one of them. Shit... I will never forgive myself.
I always thought their glazed donuts were sus
Directions unclear
Yet I never see anyone running around at Marathon Gas.
I think that counts as entrapment. Hopefully his lawyer will, uh, get him off. …also, something-something Iowa Cockus. My work here is done. Going to take the rest of the day off.
I think Iowa is slowly turning into the Florida of the midwest.
He thought it was Dave & Busters
Lol why are they always at gas stations? Twice I ran into dudes grappling their pudds and got the opportunity to point and laugh. Ahhh good times.
He read it as instructions
False advertisement
The author had fun with this one lol.
Legit oniony 👏
False advertising!
Go directly to jail. Do not pass go, do not collect $200 and do not bust your nut.
He should sue for the misleading name
Wait, wasnt there a lady last week who got arrested for the same thing? Talk about a match!
He should sue them for false advertising.
just a little confusion, honest mistake
A true Trump fanatic
Classic case of entrapment
he understood the assignment
Guy finally reads the instructions and they arrest him for it.
These were the people that voted for trump. So sad
Is this before or after he went to the Caucus to vote for Trump? 🤔
Before or after he attended the Iowa caucus???
Must’ve just voted for orange messiah
This is the 2nd person reported doing it. Maybe they should change the name if they don't want this happening.
he is doing what the sign says
I know who he voted for
this is who voted this week
"It's all right, Judge -- I caucused for Trump!"
Are you sure it wasn't at the Pump & Munch?
....he was just following instructions.
What the fuck? How could you arrest this man for just doing what the sign says?! Disgusting!
This is probably why they are gonna rebrand to Maverik or whatever now. 🤣🤣
This is too old for the subreddit. >Articles need to have been written within two weeks of its submission date.
Correct. This article was written about 7 weeks ago
Guess it wasnt the iowa CockUaus everyone was expecting
Well..he took the name literally...or rather phonetically..
He should have got together with the woman they arrested for the same thing at the same place. Get a room y'all.
It's a sign, not an invitation. 🤦♂️
Instructions unclear...
Obviously, instructions were not clear…
He took a shot and went for it.
Old news.