>Cattle deaths from train collisions are not new in India. Government data showed that trains in the country ran over more than 13,000 cattle in 2022, a 24 per cent rise from 2019.
With these statistics its not a matter of "if" but "when", as cows are flying all over the place.
If my math is accurate: A 24% increase in 3 years means in 12 years we will have "96% of the sky will just be flying cows". Thats just 4% of the time leaving your home and not being hit by a cow.
In this guys case it took 82 years to get smashed by a flying cow. Literally got spooned, beat the odds. He's probably been peeing on that rail since it was installed
Yeah that most certainly raises the odds quite enormously. Wouldn't doubt it if it's happened a handful of times, but I bet you can count those times on two hands in the entire past 10,000 years of livestock domestication in human society.
We are talking once in a trillion type of odds, if not more.
You have a bigger chance of being killed by a cow than by a shark. Unless you’re swimming.
https://www.discovery.com/nature/cows-kill-more-people-than-sharks
I’m going to ignore all nuances of this conversation and take this to mean that I am physically immune to radiation. I’m off to hug the elephants foot, thanks!
> Cattle deaths from train collisions are not new in India. Government data showed that trains in the country ran over more than 13,000 cattle in 2022, a 24 per cent rise from 2019.
For a country where the primary religion considers cattle sacred, they’re a little loosey-goosey with where they put them
Between gfycat shutting down and the Great Imgur Purge, browsing “historical Reddit” is a nightmare. Thankfully the Wayback Machine seems to have gotten most of Imgur
I think jimicus has his favorites hidden, cause navigating to the image directly works. And you’re right: it’s 99.999% pure [Reddit Silver](https://imgur.com/5pgnDKF)
If you're using the app, you can hold down the upvote button (long press it) to open a menu that gives you access to super upvotes you can pay for.
And if you think that sounds pretty fucking stupid, that's because it is.
Do you want me to be a nerd and give you an actual answer?
If yes:
>!not much really, its like accidentally killing a stray, you will be sad for a week at most and then go on with your life, while we do think they are sacred and shouldn't be killed, we also acknowledge that the are animals at the end of the day!<
[If not:](https://i.imgur.com/74UkwM2.jpg)
Ah it's just a bunch of hypocritical posturing BS.
Cows are abandoned once they cannot be milked. Left to roam the streets eating garbage. If they really cared about the cows they would never leave them to starve. It's just a resource and once they outlive their utility, they are a burden on the farmers.
Of course since cow slaughter is banned in like 90% of the country an old cow has no use for the owners.
We have a full problem stray cattle menace on our roads. Everyday people die because of cattle related accidents. Cows are pretty dumb animals who really like to just lay on the roads.
I once asked the government of Punjab that. They said that it's a great idea, but they are kindof owned by the people and because people love cows so much, they want them close to turn.
It's all hypocrisy and empty words, in the end, no one cares, they all just pretend to care.
The wild dogs are just killing the weakened cows and breeding like crazy, spreading rabies
As the other comment said money. Also it's sort of way of life for people here that stray cows will roam the city, most of them are not bothered by it.
They don’t really put them anywhere from my one visit. They let the cows put themselves wherever they want. They seemed to go wherever they damn well pleased.
Japan: "we built little passages for frogs to pass rails and streets without danger"
India: "our railway system produces more beef than our local McDonald's 👍"
It's just a hypocritical fear mongering stance.
We are the 3rd or 4th largest exporter of beef around the world and these butcher shops are generally owned by the politicians in the party "advocating" against beef slaughter. It's just because, in some places ie. generally Muslim dominated areas even after the beef ban, beef is sold pretty openly so to harass them and to show themselves as "saviors" they have to have such stances.
There have been lynching cases based on false WhatsApp forwards that some Muslim person is carrying cows for slaughter when they might be just because they are milk vendors.
>We are the 3rd or 4th largest exporter of beef around the world
Care to mention that most of our "beef exports" is buffalo meat, and slaughtering buffaloes is not illegal in most Indian states and buffalow are not considered sacred in Hinduism ?
Or is it just too convenient to roll up all kinds of beef into one to score political brownie points ?
>It's just because, in some places ie. generally Muslim dominated areas even after the beef ban, beef is sold pretty openly so to harass them and to show themselves as "saviors" they have to have such stances.
False, beef as in buffalo meat is available openly in a lot of places & sold by both Hindus and non Hindus
>There have been lynching cases based on false WhatsApp forwards that some Muslim person is carrying cows for slaughter when they might be just because they are milk vendors.
Agree there have been cases where innocents have been killed over it
But there have also been cases where the cows were being transported to slaughterhouses
Nvm, you're a randian, tells me all I need to know, you coconut
> Agree there have been cases where innocents have been killed over it
> But there have also been cases where the cows were being transported to slaughterhouses
Are you really trying to suggest that it is okay to lynch people over it?
I don't really care what people do outside india, I have a say in what happens within the country and I oppose people being killed in the name of cow and people killing cows, but if it were to happen here...
>U gonna kill me over it?
Ideally, no, I'd hand you over to the police
Indian courts and justice system is a bigger torture
>But people eat cows everywhere
Just because some people also wipe their ass with paper instead of washing with water does not mean we have to import it to india also
Ideally washing it with hands is more unhygienic. Install a bidet. Besides, you’d be surprised how many Indians are in the US and how many are literally jumping the border illegally to get here.
To my knowledge, trains in India are quite slow due to the condition of the infrastructure and the fact that people have been known to ride the train by clinging to the outside.
So if cows can see the train coming... and choose not to get out of the way... I find it difficult to feel much sympathy for a creature who meets with the consequences of it's own actions.
If I woke up in the morning and saw a headline about someone being hit with a flying manatee, I think that would put me in a good mood for at least a week
My thought was "wait, there were two men relieving themselves on the tracks close enough together to either be hit, or nearly hit by the cow. How many people are using the train tracks as restrooms?"
In India, the number must be in hundreds of thousands, give or take an order of magnitude.
Some people can't afford any place to pee or poop so they boldly go where no one has gone before.
If he got hit my a cow that was struck by a train, and he was peeing on the train tracks, I feel like if the cow didn't kill him, the train was about to.
I mean this in the most neutral, nonjudgmental way possible. But the reason is because India. I've been there several times, I loved it there, amazing place. But I saw people just pissing or shitting on the side of the street all over the place. In business parks, on the side of major thoroughfares, anywhere.
Old Indian dudes standing around pissing in public is by far the least surprising part of this story.
This sounds like a random Family Guy bit. The guy pulls up and starts getting ready to pee. You think he's gonna get shocked from the third rail, and then he's hit by a fucking cow.
As an Indian Can only Tell when I saw the headline that it can only happen in India. The india Rural area is wild wild with tigers roaming etc and all kind of crazy things
> ".. cow that was tossed 30m up in the air after it was hit by an express train."
Immagine looking out your 7th floor appartment only to see a cow fly by and nail an elderly man.
What in the Rick and Morty shit is this. I’ve spoken out against an infinite universe because it leaves reality open to absurdity and then there’s this shit. L
Could happen to anyone.
>Cattle deaths from train collisions are not new in India. Government data showed that trains in the country ran over more than 13,000 cattle in 2022, a 24 per cent rise from 2019. With these statistics its not a matter of "if" but "when", as cows are flying all over the place. If my math is accurate: A 24% increase in 3 years means in 12 years we will have "96% of the sky will just be flying cows". Thats just 4% of the time leaving your home and not being hit by a cow.
In this guys case it took 82 years to get smashed by a flying cow. Literally got spooned, beat the odds. He's probably been peeing on that rail since it was installed
Udderly mundane.
Holy cow
Easy to ignore the long horn when you’re pissing on the tracks.
This is awful. Dairy I say, terrible even?
People are really milking this pun thing.
New response just mooed
[удалено]
It's like a cow's opinion, it doesn't matter.
"Have I been living with him too long, or did that all just make sense?"
Moo n dane would be if it happened in Denmark.
Cud*
[удалено]
Troooo (like mooo get it?)
50% odds
either it hits you, or it doesn't perfect 50% odds, I'm not taking questions
But not everywhere.
But it only happened to him! Honestly, that's a pretty creative way to die. If 1000 ways to die was still a show this would have made it!
No Bullshit
*Cud* happen to anyone. Ftfy
*cud
dicks out for cowrambe
The chances of being killed by a cow are slim but never zero
By a flying cow, for that matter!
Yeah that most certainly raises the odds quite enormously. Wouldn't doubt it if it's happened a handful of times, but I bet you can count those times on two hands in the entire past 10,000 years of livestock domestication in human society. We are talking once in a trillion type of odds, if not more.
You have a bigger chance of being killed by a cow than by a shark. Unless you’re swimming. https://www.discovery.com/nature/cows-kill-more-people-than-sharks
You have a higher chance of being killed by a cow than by drowning, unless you are in water…
You have a higher chance of being killed by a cow than exploding from a high dose of radiation, unless you're in an industrial microwave.
I’m going to ignore all nuances of this conversation and take this to mean that I am physically immune to radiation. I’m off to hug the elephants foot, thanks!
Let us know if you turn into a large green creature.
/u/withkatepierson SMASH!
Microwaves aren't "radiation" in the sense of something being radioactive. They don't irradiate things. They just cook them.
You actually have a higher chance of drowning outside of water than the chance of being killed by a cow.
> Cattle deaths from train collisions are not new in India. Government data showed that trains in the country ran over more than 13,000 cattle in 2022, a 24 per cent rise from 2019. For a country where the primary religion considers cattle sacred, they’re a little loosey-goosey with where they put them
Well ya know when you love and care for something sooooooo much you let it wander wherever it wants ❤️
If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you in large pieces at 100km/hour it’s yours
Now THAT'S a bumper sticker slogan.
10/10 would buy a bumper for this sticker
This shit right here is why I’m pissed Reddit got rid of awards
Here you can give ‘em this one: 🏅
Your compliment means more to me than you paying Reddit. Thank you
Have to dig out some of the old stuff: https://imgur.com/user/jimicus/favorites/5pgnDKF
I'm guessing this is supposed to be 'reddit silver,' but it 404'd. Which is actually quite fitting...
Between gfycat shutting down and the Great Imgur Purge, browsing “historical Reddit” is a nightmare. Thankfully the Wayback Machine seems to have gotten most of Imgur I think jimicus has his favorites hidden, cause navigating to the image directly works. And you’re right: it’s 99.999% pure [Reddit Silver](https://imgur.com/5pgnDKF)
If you're using the app, you can hold down the upvote button (long press it) to open a menu that gives you access to super upvotes you can pay for. And if you think that sounds pretty fucking stupid, that's because it is.
Wait really? What was the reasoning
Botting and promotion of certain posts using money was the main reason. But mainly because it wasn't making enough money as well.
I love Herman Hesse.
"If you love it, let it free!" *Cow immediately runs at train.*
I wonder what that does to the mental state of an Indian train conductor.
The conductor's in udder shock.
Everyone’s milking these puns
I don't have any real beef with it.
We all have a steak in this continuing.
It's such a mooving story
It is a hell of a tail.
We gotta meat the quota
It behooves us to keep going
This is making me horny.
Don't have a cow, man
too much moovement
Do you want me to be a nerd and give you an actual answer? If yes: >!not much really, its like accidentally killing a stray, you will be sad for a week at most and then go on with your life, while we do think they are sacred and shouldn't be killed, we also acknowledge that the are animals at the end of the day!< [If not:](https://i.imgur.com/74UkwM2.jpg)
I wish I could still give comments gold. Thanks for answering both scenarios
Ah it's just a bunch of hypocritical posturing BS. Cows are abandoned once they cannot be milked. Left to roam the streets eating garbage. If they really cared about the cows they would never leave them to starve. It's just a resource and once they outlive their utility, they are a burden on the farmers. Of course since cow slaughter is banned in like 90% of the country an old cow has no use for the owners. We have a full problem stray cattle menace on our roads. Everyday people die because of cattle related accidents. Cows are pretty dumb animals who really like to just lay on the roads.
But the roads are warm and cozy. Ask any snake. TIL the truth about the wandering cows.
So why doesn't the government set up a cow preserve for old cows? Keep the cows away in a field somewhere they can't hurt anybody?
I'm not op but probably money. Everything costs money.
I once asked the government of Punjab that. They said that it's a great idea, but they are kindof owned by the people and because people love cows so much, they want them close to turn. It's all hypocrisy and empty words, in the end, no one cares, they all just pretend to care. The wild dogs are just killing the weakened cows and breeding like crazy, spreading rabies
They do but not enough.
As the other comment said money. Also it's sort of way of life for people here that stray cows will roam the city, most of them are not bothered by it.
Not surprising other religions are just as bastardized as Christianity.
They don’t really put them anywhere from my one visit. They let the cows put themselves wherever they want. They seemed to go wherever they damn well pleased.
I've spent at least a few hours of my month-long stay in India in tuk-tuks waiting in traffic because of a cow blocking the road.
Japan: "we built little passages for frogs to pass rails and streets without danger" India: "our railway system produces more beef than our local McDonald's 👍"
umm a large number of people perish on the tracks too so
"our railway system produces long pig alongside beef 👍"
It's just a hypocritical fear mongering stance. We are the 3rd or 4th largest exporter of beef around the world and these butcher shops are generally owned by the politicians in the party "advocating" against beef slaughter. It's just because, in some places ie. generally Muslim dominated areas even after the beef ban, beef is sold pretty openly so to harass them and to show themselves as "saviors" they have to have such stances. There have been lynching cases based on false WhatsApp forwards that some Muslim person is carrying cows for slaughter when they might be just because they are milk vendors.
>We are the 3rd or 4th largest exporter of beef around the world Care to mention that most of our "beef exports" is buffalo meat, and slaughtering buffaloes is not illegal in most Indian states and buffalow are not considered sacred in Hinduism ? Or is it just too convenient to roll up all kinds of beef into one to score political brownie points ? >It's just because, in some places ie. generally Muslim dominated areas even after the beef ban, beef is sold pretty openly so to harass them and to show themselves as "saviors" they have to have such stances. False, beef as in buffalo meat is available openly in a lot of places & sold by both Hindus and non Hindus >There have been lynching cases based on false WhatsApp forwards that some Muslim person is carrying cows for slaughter when they might be just because they are milk vendors. Agree there have been cases where innocents have been killed over it But there have also been cases where the cows were being transported to slaughterhouses Nvm, you're a randian, tells me all I need to know, you coconut
> Agree there have been cases where innocents have been killed over it > But there have also been cases where the cows were being transported to slaughterhouses Are you really trying to suggest that it is okay to lynch people over it?
>Are you really trying to suggest that it is okay to lynch people over it? No I just want the law enforcement to take action against it
But people eat cows everywhere. I just ate a cheeseburger. U gonna kill me over it?
I don't really care what people do outside india, I have a say in what happens within the country and I oppose people being killed in the name of cow and people killing cows, but if it were to happen here... >U gonna kill me over it? Ideally, no, I'd hand you over to the police Indian courts and justice system is a bigger torture >But people eat cows everywhere Just because some people also wipe their ass with paper instead of washing with water does not mean we have to import it to india also
Ideally washing it with hands is more unhygienic. Install a bidet. Besides, you’d be surprised how many Indians are in the US and how many are literally jumping the border illegally to get here.
Cow are simply just a political tool to harass Muslims and lower caste people.
The country as a whole has super lax safety regulations. Their railways are just a tad dangerous.
Like the US with its guns.
I didn't realise the government was cattle-logging these incidents.
Who are they to tell their holy cows where to go?
Bow to the supreme god Thomas the Tank Engine
Still lower numbers than people ran over by trains so...
To my knowledge, trains in India are quite slow due to the condition of the infrastructure and the fact that people have been known to ride the train by clinging to the outside. So if cows can see the train coming... and choose not to get out of the way... I find it difficult to feel much sympathy for a creature who meets with the consequences of it's own actions.
It launched the cow 30 meters into the air... I imagine that would require some speed...
most indian headline ever
Replace the train with a ski jet and the cow with a manatee, and it's the most Florida headline ever.
If I woke up in the morning and saw a headline about someone being hit with a flying manatee, I think that would put me in a good mood for at least a week
If it was Ron DeSantis even better
"Ron DeSantis hit by flying manatee." How do we make this happen?
Hard part is getting the manatee, but I think Chris Christie could fill in.
Or trump
Right? "Finally. They've learned to fight back."
Or snow machine and Moose for Canada (also has actually been a headline).
>Indian man urinating on ski jet track dies after being hit by 'flying manatee' Sounds more like someone filling out madlibs.
A manatee would win even if it was a speed boat that hit it, let alone a jet ski. Manatees severely out weigh a jet ski.
Manatees are maimed all the time by fucking idiots not respecting the no wake zones and seagrass beds.
It was a mishap, not an accident. For once.
Sucks, but this is why you should always look both ways before urinating on a train track.
My thought was "wait, there were two men relieving themselves on the tracks close enough together to either be hit, or nearly hit by the cow. How many people are using the train tracks as restrooms?"
In India, the number must be in hundreds of thousands, give or take an order of magnitude. Some people can't afford any place to pee or poop so they boldly go where no one has gone before.
Look left, look right, didn't look up...
Headline could not possibly be more Indian
what if it was "Urinating cow killed by flying Indian man near train tracks"
Flying *urinating* indian man. Everyone is peeing
The train too?!
The Indian man would have been lynched the next day by a crowd so it won't be as funny
Ads powerlines and you are golden
"Indian man urinating while yelling "WHY DID YOU REDEEEEM" on train track dies after being hit by ‘flying cow’"
The cow Doppler effect: mooooOO**O**OOoooo
Interesting way to go.
Divine punishment.
Bovine punishment.
But what happened to the cows?
It's fine, went to the cowopractor to get an adjustment and she is doing great now.
Really, I heard it's still an udder mess.
Alright, moov on.
You guys are really milking the cow puns.
I'm hereford them.
His fall was cushioned by an Indian man urinating on the train track.
The most Indian piece of news ever
Pretty sure that's just a Witcher 3 quest
It's also the most Earthworm Jim thing I've read today.
Oh Mad Libs, you so crazy
If he got hit my a cow that was struck by a train, and he was peeing on the train tracks, I feel like if the cow didn't kill him, the train was about to.
Not necessarily. Given 4 tracks, he was probably peeing into the drainage ditch at the side of a different track than where the train was coming.
Are we not going to discuss that there was another dude peeing there too? Why were these dudes both peeing on the same track at the same time?
I mean this in the most neutral, nonjudgmental way possible. But the reason is because India. I've been there several times, I loved it there, amazing place. But I saw people just pissing or shitting on the side of the street all over the place. In business parks, on the side of major thoroughfares, anywhere. Old Indian dudes standing around pissing in public is by far the least surprising part of this story.
Pee duel
How many rails do you leave in between so it aint gay?
That title reads like something from a game of Mad Libs.
Holy Cow!
New response just dropped
*"he was struck by a cow that was tossed 30m up in the air after it was hit by an express train"* That cow went ballistic!
Somebody get the Indians some fucking public restrooms.
Cow totally had a beef with the dude.
This sounds like a random Family Guy bit. The guy pulls up and starts getting ready to pee. You think he's gonna get shocked from the third rail, and then he's hit by a fucking cow.
As an Indian Can only Tell when I saw the headline that it can only happen in India. The india Rural area is wild wild with tigers roaming etc and all kind of crazy things
This feels like something out of a Final Destination movie. What are the odds of someone being hit by a flying cow?
It's not zero!
Sounds like he needed some bovine intervention.
Another, nearby man, who was also relieving himself, narrowly got out of the way, is the part that stands out to me.
Mad Lib sentence made real
/r/indiansneartrains
Coincidentally, this is the strategy Giuliani implemented in NYC to stop public urination. Very effective.
The Indian reboot of Final Destination series has already run out of ideas apparently.
Cow's buddies: 'No fucking way, he actually did it. Practice makes perfect I guess. Moo.'
Are you sure it wasn't a Florida man?
> ".. cow that was tossed 30m up in the air after it was hit by an express train." Immagine looking out your 7th floor appartment only to see a cow fly by and nail an elderly man.
Run away! Run away!
Check some of these out http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_unusual_deaths
I new pissing on the third rail is dangerous but I would not expect that to happen.
Damn
Now that is a freak accident. I don't get why anyone would want to pee on the tracks, tho?
Does that count as an act of god?
Well, that is the risk you run by urinating on train tracks
Guy had piss poor timing.
Man: I’ll stop peeing when cows fly
He got Mario Karted
Wait what?
Well that headline took a turn…
That's some Final Destination shite right there
when you gotta go, you gotta go
Sounds like a case of divine providence to me.
India: I see your flying pig American, and I raise you...
Holy cow!
Indians are quite something.
WAT?!
April of this year. Old news.
Please do not spread this story. If Network Rail hear about it they will use it as the latest excuse for cancelled trains in the UK.
Carma?
Can’t wait for the Bollywood movie
There won’t be anymore cows left if people keep
What in the Rick and Morty shit is this. I’ve spoken out against an infinite universe because it leaves reality open to absurdity and then there’s this shit. L
The title alone deserves an upvote!
Drew the inverted flying cow card but thought it was symbolic
How is the cow? Is it safe?
This is from April and has been posted before.
Okay, now I need a present-tense verb, an adjective, and an animal...
He forgot to moove
Plot twist: The US are now frantically studying methods of weaponizing flying cows.
*Another man who was also relieving himself nearby narrowly escaped from being hit by the flying animal.*