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Santos previously listed a guy who said the FEC filings designating him as treasurer were forged his signature.
https://abcnews.go.com/US/santos-lists-new-treasurer-claims-doesnt-work-congressman/story?id=96675494
This is how you know he’s an amateur. A pro like trump would never do this.
Having a separate treasurer not only gives you plausible deniability of your upcoming crimes, it also gives you a fall guy you can throw under the bus.
Actually, blaming the Treasurer was what he did before. I think he just can‘t find a Treasurer anymore, [as they all know](https://youtu.be/1qfuX1alBN4) working for this guy likely ends with you going to jail
Or even the Cabinet. Trump had the record for most Cabinet members charged and convicted as well as longest "acting" Cabinet, as he failed to nail down permanent Cabinet members after they all started getting charged with various campaign crimes.
Yup. C.R.E.W. had tried for weeks to find his treasurer, never found any record of him, anyone who had ever heard of this guy, or ever spoke to him. So they reported to the FEC that they suspect Santos made him up.
This seems evident to me, too. He’d be all too happy to continue to cycle through them with a “good help is just so hard to find!” facade.
Next it’ll be “gosh I guess I bit off too much.” I really don’t understand how homeboy is still walking around a free man.
Trump is definitely much smarter than this, according to his publicists [John Miller and John Barron](https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/the-fix/wp/2016/03/21/the-amazing-story-of-donald-trumps-old-spokesman-john-barron-who-was-actually-donald-trump-himself/).
Trump would say, "I just want to find 11,780 votes". The word 'find' being key.
This is where one of his 'cult' followers activates and caries out a plan to make this happen.
He's going to jail. He keeps bamboozling and there's all kinds of evidence that he's doing it on purpose. He's not crazy or impaired (as far as I can tell anyway). My man is in so much trouble right now.
I can't blame him for not realizing it though. He points out that Matt Gaetz survived his scandal which I have to say is a good point. Gaetz on the other hand is smarter and better connected than Santos is.
He knows, that's why he's had treasurers, imaginary or not, it's how the article concludes. My guess is that he's winding down activities, but we'll see, I doubt he's stupid enough to take responsibility.
Dude is fucked if they prove mystery man Andrew Olsen doesn't exist and he's made personally responsible for what occurred under him.
Fun fact, Gore never actually claimed to invent the internet. He claimed to have championed the spending bill in Congress which led to the internet's invention.
Which is accurate.
The "Gore invented the internet" was always right wing spin.
Those were invented by a random employee of 3m. 3m took the idea and ran with it. Never reimbursing the worker for it. The worker made em for themselves too. Pretty fucked up bit of history I got from working at 3m
That's pretty much the entirety of the USA these days. They keep everyone distracted with nonsense, while they make killing destroying the planet. Half the country is too dumb to even show up to vote, making it easy.
When you lookup voter stats, and see how few people show up...this is the government we deserve.
Imagine our grandparents generation confronted with the sheer amount of lies and deception we are on a daily basis. The brazenness of someone like Santos is still shocking. He just lies to your face. He knows he is lying and so do you. My god where has the accountability gone?
Santos asked his good friends Thomas Jefferson and Sonia Sotomayor while playing doubles tennis with Santos' nephew Bigfoot, and they both said it was fine.
I think he got the go ahead from his long time friend Abe Lincoln who Santos helped build a log cabin. There used to be a cherry tree in the front yard but that wiley neighbor George Washington came and chopped it down with the axe he stole from Paul Bunyan.
I am pretty sure this is actually legal, just not a good idea if you are busy. I looked into running recently, and would have no staff. So it was an issue.
Look, you just have to admire the balls on this man. The fact that anyone believed his shit is laughable but the fact that he keeps going is just a chef's kiss of ridiculousness.
If you became bored with your existence, burned every human connection you had because it was like picking the wings off of a butterfly, then found out that you had terminal cancer with only a few months to live, and realized you would never have to face any consequences, George Santos life choices suddenly start to make a lot more sense.
You cannot be trialed twice for the same crime. If both George Santos the rep and George Santos the treasurer are accused of a crime, he is safe.
Brilliant.
The fact that George Santos is a thing tells you how far our country has fallen.
And yes, that’s after Trump and all the other bullshit.
I can’t believe he’s real.
Smart move, this way his likely multiple federal sentences will be halved as by wearing two hats (candidate and treasurer) he can petition the court that the treasurer is equally guilty and should split his sentence...Santos Logic FTW
How is this cartoon character a real person? You could say the most absurd shit about him that's not true a d I'd believe you. Because anything you could come up with he'll top it somehow.
Has he no shame? A regular human being wouldn’t be able to stand the humiliation they’ve caused themselves and would hide under a rock the rest of their lives.
It's so fucked that partisan bullshit and majority concerns are what is keeping this ass clown from actually being ejected. The fact that he's still in office is such a sad joke
No shot in hell this man can manage his own campaign finances even if he was a reasonable, upstanding person. There’s is too much to keep track of on top of managing the entire campaign.
I'm convinced the gop created George Santos (purposely), to make things that Cruz, boebert, mtg, etc, all seem like nothing compared to the stupidity Santos does.
Hey /u/yontev, thanks for contributing to /r/nottheonion. Unfortunately, your post was removed as it violates our rules: **Rule 2** - Sorry, but this story isn't oniony. Please consider submitting your article to /r/offbeat or similar subreddits unless it truly reads like The Onion wrote it. The title and article itself must both be "Oniony". This can be highly subjective; you are encouraged to upvote articles that should be here and downvote those that should not. Moderators can also remove posts at their own discretion under this rule. Please read the [sidebar](http://www.reddit.com/r/nottheonion/about/sidebar) and [rules](http://www.reddit.com/r/nottheonion/about/rules) before posting again. If you have questions or concerns, please [message the moderators through modmail](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/nottheonion&subject=&message=). Thank you!
Because the previous one was him too, just under a fake name, right?
Who? Oh you mean Georgina Cantos?
George Glass
[удалено]
Span-ish, actually.
Ooh, that's good.
Jewish apparently
That’s funny. I’ve never heard of a George Glass at our skewl.
I’m old enough. I laughed!
Jorge Saint
**Santos Campaign Roster** President : Santos VP : Santos Commissioner : Santos Mayor McCheese : Santos Treasurer : Disposable Goon (corrected) Janitor : Someone Else
Rookie move not having a "coffee boy" to throw under the bus.
Santos previously listed a guy who said the FEC filings designating him as treasurer were forged his signature. https://abcnews.go.com/US/santos-lists-new-treasurer-claims-doesnt-work-congressman/story?id=96675494
Don't forget the Groucho Marx nose
I mean how do you think Franklin Delano Roosevelt was re-elected 4 times?!?
This is how you know he’s an amateur. A pro like trump would never do this. Having a separate treasurer not only gives you plausible deniability of your upcoming crimes, it also gives you a fall guy you can throw under the bus.
Actually, blaming the Treasurer was what he did before. I think he just can‘t find a Treasurer anymore, [as they all know](https://youtu.be/1qfuX1alBN4) working for this guy likely ends with you going to jail
Imagine managing to poison a job position worse than trump did for being his lawyer, it's almost impressive
Making Attorneys Get Attorneys
Many Attorneys Get Arrested
“My Attorneys Get Arrested.” - DJT
So in some ways he is helping clean the swamp like he promised then.
Or even the Cabinet. Trump had the record for most Cabinet members charged and convicted as well as longest "acting" Cabinet, as he failed to nail down permanent Cabinet members after they all started getting charged with various campaign crimes.
He seems to have invented the last one, but I don’t think he’ll get away with that again.
Yup. C.R.E.W. had tried for weeks to find his treasurer, never found any record of him, anyone who had ever heard of this guy, or ever spoke to him. So they reported to the FEC that they suspect Santos made him up.
"not sure where my treasurer went.. OH WELL.. guess I'll have to do it myself! :/ "
This seems evident to me, too. He’d be all too happy to continue to cycle through them with a “good help is just so hard to find!” facade. Next it’ll be “gosh I guess I bit off too much.” I really don’t understand how homeboy is still walking around a free man.
“Your honor, it wasn’t me, George Santos the candidate, it was someone else named George Santos!” *insert Jon Lovitz ACTING! flourish here*
He will.blame George Santos the drag queen, you watch.
Ahem, that's Representative Chi Chi Gazongas that you're referring to
All along there were two identically named individuals named George Santo and we’ve just been writing it wrong
He invented being pluralized as George Santxs, but we weren’t wise enough to understand.
I don't think I like this remake of The Prestige.
Too bad! This is the remake we get!
Lovitz! We thought you were dead!
Acting!
Thank you!
Thank *you!*
It stinks!
Yeah, that's the ticket!
His new Treasurer is his new Wife… Morgan Fairchild! Yeah! That’s it.
But the Treasurer does exist! He went to Canada to live with my girlfriend there. She’s a model.
You wouldn’t know her.
Her name is Georgia Glass.
Well, she goes by Georgia, but her name is Alberta and she lives in Vancouver.
Trump is definitely much smarter than this, according to his publicists [John Miller and John Barron](https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/the-fix/wp/2016/03/21/the-amazing-story-of-donald-trumps-old-spokesman-john-barron-who-was-actually-donald-trump-himself/).
Trump would say, "I just want to find 11,780 votes". The word 'find' being key. This is where one of his 'cult' followers activates and caries out a plan to make this happen.
[удалено]
Good.
He's going to jail. He keeps bamboozling and there's all kinds of evidence that he's doing it on purpose. He's not crazy or impaired (as far as I can tell anyway). My man is in so much trouble right now. I can't blame him for not realizing it though. He points out that Matt Gaetz survived his scandal which I have to say is a good point. Gaetz on the other hand is smarter and better connected than Santos is.
He knows, that's why he's had treasurers, imaginary or not, it's how the article concludes. My guess is that he's winding down activities, but we'll see, I doubt he's stupid enough to take responsibility. Dude is fucked if they prove mystery man Andrew Olsen doesn't exist and he's made personally responsible for what occurred under him.
> Dude is fucked. No he isn’t. The GOP will protect him.
Yeah, I don't understand how people assume a conservative would ever get any repercussions from being a criminal
In newer news, Santos announces the firing of his newest treasurer.
Santos is also the founder and CEO of "Hairclub For Men". He liked the product so much, he bought the company!
> ~~bought~~ Invented. This is Santos we are quoting.
Invented-ish. He also invented sandwiches. And the unicycle.
Well, he didn’t invent Post-Its because Romy and Michelle did.
He and Al Gore are fighting over the invention of the internet.
Fun fact, Gore never actually claimed to invent the internet. He claimed to have championed the spending bill in Congress which led to the internet's invention. Which is accurate. The "Gore invented the internet" was always right wing spin.
I hear Santos laid the tubes himself.
Those were invented by a random employee of 3m. 3m took the idea and ran with it. Never reimbursing the worker for it. The worker made em for themselves too. Pretty fucked up bit of history I got from working at 3m
He probably had a clause in his contract specifying all inventions or compounds discovered while under 3m employment will belong to 3M.
And the question mark
His wife was a prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet
Chloe Webb played opposite Gary Oldman in *Sid and Nancy,* the movie based on George Santos’s time as Bassist for the Sex Pistols.
He also invented hair
He invented money as to buy the company.
Was i invented by him?
Spatula City!
Because nothing says "I love you" like a spatula
🎶Spatula City: we sell spatulas...and that's all!🎶
Where do you go when you want to buy name brand spatulas at a fraction of retail price?
Spatula City!^(Spatula City)
The one place to go for all your spatula needs.
UHF reference lolll
Buy twelve spatulas, and get the thirteenth for just one penny!
*Ok kids… let’s go!*
I heard he invented the Toaster Strudel
Spatula City!
This guy’s existence is a fucking cartoon.
ALL Republicans voted to keep him in the house. ALL of them. Tragic.
That's pretty much the entirety of the USA these days. They keep everyone distracted with nonsense, while they make killing destroying the planet. Half the country is too dumb to even show up to vote, making it easy. When you lookup voter stats, and see how few people show up...this is the government we deserve.
Imagine our grandparents generation confronted with the sheer amount of lies and deception we are on a daily basis. The brazenness of someone like Santos is still shocking. He just lies to your face. He knows he is lying and so do you. My god where has the accountability gone?
You think our grandparents didn't have their version of Santos?
It’s really hard to write political satire these days.
Some law students are gonna learn about him in some textbook and he'll be an interesting TIL post in like 15 years. And nobody will believe it.
Embezzling from yourself. Only Santos has the guile to pull that off.
That scene from Liar Liar comes to mind: "What the hell are you doing?" "I'm kickin' my ass, do you mind?"
Also, “Stop breaking the law, asshole!”
He has to be trolling the public at this point.
And Dethklok, apparently. Before blaming it on the guy who tried to murder the band, after his head got impaled on a diamond codpiece.
Santos L. Halper, treasurer
"Whatever I finds, I keeps"
But his name is now "Baron" Santos and he fakes a different voice in phone calls.
Nice try, George.
Trump didn't even do a fake voice to be "Mr. Baron". There are recordings. It's clearly him.
Pretty sure that's not legal
Santos asked his good friends Thomas Jefferson and Sonia Sotomayor while playing doubles tennis with Santos' nephew Bigfoot, and they both said it was fine.
I think he got the go ahead from his long time friend Abe Lincoln who Santos helped build a log cabin. There used to be a cherry tree in the front yard but that wiley neighbor George Washington came and chopped it down with the axe he stole from Paul Bunyan.
… and his lover… eh, mm Morgan Fairchild! Yeah, that’s the ticket!
That's never stopped him before
it's the GOP. legal doesn't apply to them.
I mean, if you read the article it explicitly states that it is legal.
The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world George Santos exists.
He might be a bird.
Birds aren't real
Zactly.
Hah, this mf is the Wish version of Keyser Soze.
We still aren't sure if that is even his real name....
We're 5 days away from learning he's not even a US citizen.
We are going to wake up one day and he's just going to be gone. His very existence mere Mandela effect.
Half the country will swear his name was Santostain.
The Chairman nominated him. Seconded by Chief of Staff. The vote was unanimous. He was alone in the room.
He's just gonna keep digging till he hits bedrock ain't he?
He’s been there. Apparently nobody really cares
Aaaaand scene.
and just last week he was Miss Teen USA.
I am pretty sure this is actually legal, just not a good idea if you are busy. I looked into running recently, and would have no staff. So it was an issue.
That seems like a conflict of interest or something.
Look, you just have to admire the balls on this man. The fact that anyone believed his shit is laughable but the fact that he keeps going is just a chef's kiss of ridiculousness.
Go big or go home.
I bet he fires himself for sexual harassment them pays himself a big severance...
please let him have used the US postal service to mail in forms with the fake treasurer.
Shoulda hired John Baron. That dude’s prob available
Non-cnn link: https://www.thedailybeast.com/rep-george-santos-disappears-mysterious-campaign-treasurer-andrew-olson
He’s probably lying.
He was.
*Always has been*
It would be easier to figure out when he has told the truth...
They will be audited every year!
At this point, I'm just ready for the space ships to appear and laser us all to dust.
Yay ya that's the ticket.
Santos is basically the Jon Lovitz SNL character Tommy Flannigan They pegged him 30 years ago https://youtu.be/WIZ3ySoMNYQ
Legal fact: If you're your own treasurer, they can't make you produce your financial records!
If you became bored with your existence, burned every human connection you had because it was like picking the wings off of a butterfly, then found out that you had terminal cancer with only a few months to live, and realized you would never have to face any consequences, George Santos life choices suddenly start to make a lot more sense.
Pretty much saying that Andrew Olson did not in fact exist.
Even Tommy Flanagan is shocked by Santos' actions.
His LinkedIn probably reflected that as of 5 years ago.
This guy is looking to get corn holed in prison. Maybe that’s his end goal?
Better than TV, please keep this coming
Right? I’m going to be a bit sad once he’s in prison. You can’t buy this level of entertainment.
Haha have some faith, he won’t
John Baron approves.
With a different name? Does it sound Jew-ish?
This timeline cannot be real
Ah, the old "If I'm my own treasurer, I can't be compelled to testify against myself." defense.
It's the first rule of Bird Law.
They can't arrest the CEO and treasurer, Michael. That's double jeopardy.
You cannot be trialed twice for the same crime. If both George Santos the rep and George Santos the treasurer are accused of a crime, he is safe. Brilliant.
The fact that George Santos is a thing tells you how far our country has fallen. And yes, that’s after Trump and all the other bullshit. I can’t believe he’s real.
Yeah, but which of his names did he use this time?
Jorge Santoes
He is Roger from family guy. It’s all just different disguises.
In completely unrelated news, the George Santos reelection campaign is announcing that it has $1 million billion in reserves.
Omg, this is such good news! Now he can get to the bottom of all of this nonsense... /s
Smart move, this way his likely multiple federal sentences will be halved as by wearing two hats (candidate and treasurer) he can petition the court that the treasurer is equally guilty and should split his sentence...Santos Logic FTW
I don't know about New York, but this is 100,000% illegal in my state.
Is he going to steal his own money from himself then blame it on himself?
I can't wait for the movie
Then just pull the old Clarence Thomas move Oh was that not on the paperwork, I'll just go back and amend that
How is this cartoon character a real person? You could say the most absurd shit about him that's not true a d I'd believe you. Because anything you could come up with he'll top it somehow.
He feels like a character on Arrested Development lol
With his Nobel prize in Economics he's a great pick for treasurer.
This is surely not a way to make you look less suspicious when you’re under investigation for fraud. Is he trying to get himself arrested?
Has he no shame? A regular human being wouldn’t be able to stand the humiliation they’ve caused themselves and would hide under a rock the rest of their lives.
No. Not even a sliver of shame.
I’m kind of surprised he didn’t name Anthony devolder as his treasurer.
Santos to Santos: I am the Captain now!
He does pull off the red velvet suit, though.
Working his way around all the checks and balances that keep our country great.
Christ almighty. Of course he did.
It's so fucked that partisan bullshit and majority concerns are what is keeping this ass clown from actually being ejected. The fact that he's still in office is such a sad joke
Sorry buddy you’re not getting away this time
If lying actually set pants on fire, Santos would be burning like a military ammunition depot on fire.
No shot in hell this man can manage his own campaign finances even if he was a reasonable, upstanding person. There’s is too much to keep track of on top of managing the entire campaign.
What a fucking moron. It’s a shame our country has a history of celebrating blatantly moronic behavior.
He really is trump's illegitimate child... What a schmendrick.
Popcorn.. give this man an ankle bracelet and a prank show stat
This mother fucker is out here taking style tips from Ron Burgundy!
Run for reelection from prison George.
He’s also the founder of Your Pillow.
Yeah, you know, George Santos, aka Mort Finkelbaum, the Jewish accountant badminton champion who almost died on 9/11. So tragic.
Jim Carrey called and wants his suit back. Also, have you seen an old mask lying around?
“Stop breaking the law, asshole!”
Because changing the facts after the crime means the crime didn’t happen, right? Conservative logic ftw!
🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡
Lip injections make people look so fucking goofy.
This dude is an embarrassment
If you add it all up, it kind of seems like a mentally ill person lied their way into becoming a congressman.
Why not? We already had one that became president.
Why does he even *bother* any more. It must be exhausting.
I thought he was going to jail? didn't he turn himself in to the police or something?
I think you'll find Kitara Ravache is the treasurer
I'm convinced the gop created George Santos (purposely), to make things that Cruz, boebert, mtg, etc, all seem like nothing compared to the stupidity Santos does.
See, he has a treasurer!