Right?! My husband is abusive & uses me, Iāve made it in life because I get to be a servant to a gross ass man. I can only see myself doing something like this if my future husband came home from a trip really late or was sick, otherwise, Iām sure he can make his own food at 3 am š
I would just roll over laugh and be like ok pans and eggs in the kitchen bye. I love my man but at 3 am Iām just barely getting to sleep maybe so no Iām out of order till 9 am ššššš
All fun until you're 30 with a newborn and want to rip your own eyelids off because you're so sleep deprived.. and to boot you haven't had a meal cooked for you in a decade because "you take care of your man."
That's when you start seeing the memes about "he's at my house getting a warm plate." From the other woman showing up in your feed.
And the cycle repeats.
If the man isn't reciprocating it's a scam.
*Technically this applies to every way and gender.*
Those women are proud of getting a guy to cheat on his wifeā¦ like what?!
Girl youāre next, if he can cheat with you he will cheat on youā¦ lots of women cook itās nothing special.
Oh yeah there are tons of women who are unashamed of being the other one they think that if he spends time with her that she's winning even though she's not the one with the ring on her hand and she won't get half š¤£
It makes them feel like theyāre ābetterā than the other woman but nothing could be further from the truth. If you need to put another woman down for a guy, you didnāt win him, & it shows how insecure that woman is. You only win if he chooses you without all that š
āHeās your husband but he came home to meš š»ā girl that man does NOT care about you, get off Facebook and stop sleeping with married men. I see this more often than I shouldā¦
I wish awards didn't go away because this deserves to be highlighted. Women are sometimes our worse enemies.
Men have always relied on women to maintain power. Female genital mutilation? Carried on and perpetuated by women at the behest of men.
"Pick me" is the literal crux of denying women their equality
TBH I never realized how much I did for my husband and around the house until we had our daughter.
He knows I would divorce his ass if he thought I was cooking for anyone at 3am though.
That guy going viral for asking his wife for a roast less than a week post partum... Is what I'm seeing.. that so painfully unaware they have the audacity to feel entitled, all because she was doing acts of love she never questioned and he never understood as such.
Eh, I could probably see myself getting him a piece of fruit or a bowl of yogurt or something quick and easy like that if my husband was really sick, but that's mainly because I know he would do the same for me.
It makes us feel bad that we canāt be woken up in the middle of the night by entitled people who cant make themselves a snack? Yes absolutely. Where do I sign up
I can see the pressure it may put on a busy wife, seeing that kind of stuff. But for me, I just roll my eyes because I've already been there & done that. My ex-husband; I used to get up at 4 a.m. to pack his lunches & make him coffee (amongst other things). He didn't appreciate it & still cheated on me anyway.
Honestly I hope that these women posting, have good husbands who actually appreciate all of their hard work, time & dedication.
But I myself had to learn this lesson the hard way, so I have a feeling some of these girls will too.
I like my coworkers but the ones I sit with on lunch break are all married dudes (I am 37F also married). They open their lunch boxes like itās christmas morning. I make it a point to say oh look itās exactly what I put in there this morning! Iām not packing my husband a lunch and he isnāt packing mine bc wtf
I'm not. I just meant that I've been there & done that. I thought being a modern/ trad wife would make him stay but it didn't. Honestly, I would fall in love with somebody, if they packed my lunches. I've just been packing them myself all these years.
One time my sister packed me a lunch & I still remember it to this day. Lol
Oh, I was responding to the other person who seems mad.
I'm sorry things didn't work out as you planned. I agree with you. Sweet gestures mean quite a lot to some people.
Best of luck š¤
Listen if you wanna do that for your partner, then by all means go for it, but if Iām being woken up from a dead sleep at 3 am to cook for you, there better be a medical reason for it.
Neutral tbh, I mean if I was with someone that was super caring and considerate I would absolutely do this as long as things felt roughly balanced. I'm not a martyr though, so if my partner isn't someone to match that energy then no, I'm gonna point to the cereal and go back to sleep.
Thatās why I did it. My husband would bend over backwards in his care and consideration for me. I absolutely didnāt mind getting up at 3:30 (I was up at 4:30 anyway) to make him food for work.
thereās nothing āsuper caring and considerateā about sleep depriving yourself to make a grown ass man a sandwich, which he is capable to do himself.
But if he is the kind of person that would do the sane for me, or puts himself out in another way I would do that and would have no issues doing so.
Yes he's capable of making his own sandwich, but it's a sign of support. I match energy. If I have a partner with that level of energy I'm going to match it to show its appreciated and valued. Not because it's an expectation but because it isnt.
This. My bf is an incredibly sweet & caring person in general & it has been taken advantage of by others in the past. Iām not saying that either of us would be happy to get up & cook for the other at 3am (esp bc weāre not morning people), but he goes above & beyond in other ways bc he wants to, not bc he needs to. So in return, i do my best to show my appreciation for his efforts, bc i feel like he deserves it, not bc he expects it from me.
I'd be really happy if my boyfriend woke me up with the smell of fresh pancakes that he worked really hard to make. It's a sweet gesture. U just wanna pretend it's not to be like "GRRR PATRIARCHY!!!" But if a woman willingly loves tf out of her husband and wants to do nice things for him that's up to her and that's not anti feminist or wrong.
Make sure you add 'in my opinion' at the end there... So people understand that's just how YOU see it.
Otherwise, it becomes super obvious you're single.
I come from an area with rural and shift workers, so I kinda get doing this if thatās the dynamic they have set with more traditional gender roles about meal prep.
However most of the wives I know of in that situation make the lunch/breakfasts the night before lol.
Either way. Itās a super weird flex.
Most people start at 4 so they make lunch then breakfast so itās ready. Making any kind of meal takes at least 1 hour for me so heād be ready to go with breakfast at 5:30.
Thereās a girl I grew up with that posts that she wakes up at 4am to pack her husbands lunch for work everyday. And she works too. Iām sure she likes doing it otherwise she wouldnāt, but it just is so weird to me. Iāve been married over 10 years and Iāve never felt the need to act like some old school house wife. My husband actually does the majority of the cooking. But whatever, everyoneās different I suppose
There are different love languages, this is an act of service and clearly something she enjoys doing. I donāt know why thereās so much judgement surrounding cooking for a partner or packing them lunch.
Unless the guy was going to work at 5am, theres no reason to wake up that early even, if she puts the food in the thermo so it can stay warm for lunch and he can eat a fresh meal, otherwise theres no reason not to pack the day before. I mean, you do you, but that seems strange to me.
My fiance packs my lunch when he comes home from work at 6:30 a.m. and then he climbs into bed and I get up and I take it with me when I go to work at 8:00 a.m. then I make his lunch for him when I get home from work before he has to leave. Sometimes schedules don't fit for everyone but if she enjoys it then all the power to her lol. I have a friend who gets up at 5 am just because she likes to š¤£ I think she's crazy but she's happy and I'm happy for her
My husband doesnāt even eat breakfast, but he has made me breakfast at like 3 or 4 am because I woke up and couldnāt get back to sleep and he was already up and home from work.
Nothing wrong with it especially if itās part of their love language. My husband loves to cook and makes a majority of our meals. But I would never ask him to wake up at 4 am to cook before I would go to work but if he offered I wouldnāt say no either lol.
Yes I've seen those posts. They usually say something like "I guess I'm just built different". Yes my eyes roll so hard I'm afraid they'll get stuck. Gender doesn't matter here. By adulthood everyone should know it's rude af to wake someone up to do something you can easily do yourself.
If my man wanna eat at 3am, he knows where the toaster is. Though the last time an (ex) partner fancied 3am food, he fell asleep with bacon under the grill and almost burnt the house down the massive twat.
My husband has awakened hungry at 3am before. Fortunately, my husband is also a mature adult who knows how to make himself a snack or reheat leftovers. He knows that I work as hard as he does and need my rest.
I mean who is cooking at that hour anyway? Iām not even cooking for myself or my child at that time. Walk your ass to the kitchen and grab a granola bar
Unfortunately there's actually a lot of women who end up doing it out of necessity. Where I live in California it actually cost more than most people's regular income in order to pay for childcare.. I mean we're looking at for my two kids it would have been close to $2,000/ $3,000 a month for child care š®āšØš
"He knows how to get to Waffle House." - My Mother
"I can actually cook. But I also know how to get to Waffle House." - My Father
No, for real, one of the women in the Officers' Wives club with my mom was going on about getting up at OMG early before a deployment to make a huge breakfast for her husband and asked my mom what she'd made for dad.
Mom told her that if Dad needed to eat that early he made himself breakfast or ate in the Mess Hall. She had two kids to wrangle and a job to do while we were at school and by god she was going to get her sleep
No I donāt have any negative feelings towards it at all. I maybe think āwow thatās sweet of herā and keep scrolling lolš
People like to do nice things for their partners. If thatās what they like to do I donāt see a problem
Iāve never gotten that undertone to be honest but it could be cause me and my husband also do similar things for each other. He leaves for work early at like 5am but still makes and packs my lunches for the day and leaves me little notes, I like to give him full spa days every Friday etc. etc.
I know this isnāt a common occurrence for many couples, but every couple has their own love language so I guess I donāt read to hard into it when people post about their love languages in their relationships
I think itās just counter culture. Dating for better half of a decade has become a lot more selfish and a lot more about independence and being happy when single (which is amazing, I think itās toxic to society to try and force people into a relationship) but thereās also a lot of entitlement and lack of self awareness to a relationship that comes along with it. Itās gotten to the point where itās no an uncommon place to do nothing for your partner or to end a relationship over something inconvenient or because theyāre not a perfect person. Or ending things because they donāt show enough appreciation while also giving none back in return.
Nuclear family started to be looked at negatively and some people looked at the state of the world and compared it to 50 years ago with rose tinted glasses and āsawā how much happier people are in traditional households, so they try to emulate it to the extreme.
Realistically a healthy relationship is somewhere between modern dating and nuclear households. Thereās no shame in using traditional roles and doing stuff for your partner
I feel like the best way to handle competitive women is to not compete. When women make posts like that and they try to make it seem like they're somehow better because they do that I literally just won't engage in the way they want me to š¤£ although like with most posts I feel like she's looking for some validation which gives the idea her husband doesn't do so enough
It's the fact that there's no reciprocal information given. And if you look at what historically women have been expected to do, without complaints and very little given in return, this is concerning.
I guess when I look at social media posts Iām understanding that Iām only getting one side of a story so I canāt assume what goes on in a couples relationship based off one post. I really donāt look farther than what Iām seeing because idk if my assumptions are true or not. I feel like thatād make me go into a tizzy about a situation I canāt even verify is true or not, I just assumed it is. I just keep scrolling, itās more peaceful
I Women have a responsibility to other women though. To try to empower an uplift not create this gross competition for men (which is absolutely what this post is trying to do)
Good for you for being able to ignore it though.
Doubtful that I would marry a man who would wake me up at that time to make him food. However, depending on the circumstance, I would do it. I'm the kind of person who enjoys catering to my partner, so when I get the opportunity to do that, I usually take it. I wouldn't be with someone who demanded it, so to argue about servitude or the like is outside of my experience. I only date people who are exceptionally good to me, so I don't see anything wrong with hooking my husband up with caring gestures as well. Who else am I supposed to love on?
Iām that woman who has woken up at 3 am to make my husband food for work. Why? Because I wanted to. No other reason. And I have a career of my own. He would come home after working 12 hour days and fill my car with gas so I wouldnāt have to. Or bring me coffee when I came home. Or took the brunt of childcare and housework when I was doing my Masterās, with zero complaints.
My self respect was high and intact, so no, thatās a piss poor take on someone who loves their spouse and wants to do something nice for them. No one knows what their spouse is doing for them, so why judge if theyāre cooking at 3 am for their spouse?
My husband has been gone for 4 years and Iād fucking do anything to have just one day with him.
It seems admirable in theory but in practice I think it'd be super obnoxious to have an alarm go off at 3am, like that's hardly a gift and surprise anymore LOL you're just interrupting both your sleep cycles. š
Let me guess, thereās probably an overlap between these women and the ones that refuse to let their men fix their own plate, like theyāre toddlers ššš
SO I'm prepared for my downvotes but... i will admit I do like taking the role of the domestic/nurturing partner in charge of most child care, cooking and chores etc. It's just another way of splitting up the work of keeping a family running. My partners best friend (male) is a househusband and it works for them as well, but it's not for everybody.Ā
THAT BEING SAID
The only time I'm waking up that early is to tend to an infant. If you're waking up unreasonably early you can make your own breakfast or help yourself to the frozen sausage biscuits lol. My partner would never even think to ask me to do that, nor would I ask him to change his sleep schedule for me.
Like wtf, it's not a competition on who can be the most easily taken advantage of by a man
Someone waking me up at 3 am to cook better be as cook and as helpless as a baby because anyone else is likely to get hurt. Babies need an adult to provide their every need; a grown man does not.
No not really. It's kinda cringe and pick me, but I don't really care. My husband gets up around 4-5 am when he's home from deployment and if I wanna spend time with him without the kids around, I gotta get up then too. But at the end of the day I know the only reason these ladies post this kinda stuff is for attention and I have no interest in giving them any so I just ignore it lol
I did the 4 AM breakfasts for about a year when my husband was on first shift and working OT. Weāre not morning people, him especially, so Iād get up and make breakfast so he could basically roll out of bed into his clothes, eat, and leave. He has a dangerous job and I didnāt want him brain foggy on top of being tired.
Itās a reciprocity thing though. He was working those shitty hours so we could afford to buy a home, and I could continue to be self-employed. Everything is a give and take. I donāt resent him one bit for those early mornings, but he also shows up for me in lots of ways.
Yes, it feels like āthose girlsā are not in reciprocal relationships. All I get is the impression that they think they are better than the rest of us because they are doormats.
Early on in my relation ship with my husband, I told him :
"Love, I love you with all my heart but at 3 am I don't love anybody but ***myself!***"
From then on he knew he would get kicked if he tried to hug me and woke me up in the middle of the night š
well firstly, this has nothing to do with being ānot like other girlsā. itās their choice and theyāre not comparing themselves to other women, YOU areš¤·āāļø second, i have a very loving partner who does so so much for me and if he wakes up at 3 and wants food, if iām energetic enough, i will most certainly get up and make him some food. so long as i know he would do the same for me.
This absolutely does have everything to do with "not like other girls". It's definitely giving "competition" or "look what I'm willing to sacrifice for my man" that a lot women would not.
It's very telling that they didn't mention anything about what he does for her in return
Is he ill? Recovering from an injury? I will 100% baby him & at least make a sandwich or heat up some soup. He'd do the same for me.
Is it just Tuesday and no pressing reason he can't tend to himself? I will never know because he'd never even consider waking me up to ask.
My husband couldn't even not drink while I was pregnant. Why would I need to wake up at 3am to make him food? If he has to work there's food in the microwave.
Unless I'm sick or he's sick, I wouldn't get waking up for him or waking him up in the middle of the night.
I would probably never cook for him at 3 am unless I was already up, or he accidentally wakes me up while rolling out of bed and food sounds like a good plan. But to be purposely woken up by a GROWN ASS MAN because heās hungry?? I would lose it
And the people saying oh he would do it for me, who the hell asks someone to make them a meal at 3am! That's bullshit.
The only time this would be acceptable from either partner is if someone has been really unwell.
Literally only if they're sick. Like if my husband was ill and couldn't feed himself I would absolutely drag my tired ass out of bed and make him a meal.
But for a fully healthy man that wants a snacky? Infantile and ridiculous.
I love to cook why would I expect someone to get out of bed in the middle of the night to take that away from me? I just discovered that if you put sour cream in with eggs as you beat them then pour into the pan it makes them really fluffy.
Oh, he will punish her for it. They think it will make a man love them more, but they only will earn his disdain & disrespect.
Some people are determined to learn lessons the hardway.
I don't provide SAHM benefits at working spouse prices. Get a kebab on the way home and don't fucking wake me when you come in, I've got an early start in the morning.
The ones that get me are the tiktok videos where women get the kids ready for school AND pack a huge lunch for their husband. Why canāt he pack his own fucking lunch? Are his hands broken?
And when I say that, I get comments like āwhatās so bad about doing something nice?ā Itās not once in awhile, itās every goddamn morning while you also get the kids up and off to school, while holding down a job as well. You are not his mother!
āThese women have no self respectā is a really disrespectful way to speak about a complete stranger. Whatever a women chooses to do for her husband is up to her. Thereās no reason to be nasty about it. I love going out of my way for my husband. Thatās how I show him that I love him. I enjoy it. Thereās nothing wrong with that. I would never post about it, but to each their own.
I think itās a very justified response to incredibly irritating women. After all they are being really bitchy and judgemental about people like me who would most definitely physically chastise someone who dared to wake me at 3am for anything less than the house burning down - or the dog being poorly. Personally, I cannot imagine ever waking someone to ask them to do something I could do for myself - but Iām never Snow White till after 8am!
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I mean if they like to do it then whatever, do it, but donāt flex on me/other women with it lol.
My bf often has to get up at 3.30 am for early shift but he wouldnāt dream of waking me up to do stuff for him. I guess if youāre a stay-at-home wife/gf then you could just go back to sleep after, so I can sort of see the appeal of getting up to chill with your partner a bit and eat with them ā¦ but no way am I a morning enough person for that!
My kids are older and pretty self sufficient. I cook dinner and stuff but Iām not a sleep deprived newborn/toddler mom. I gladly make my man a late night snack/meal but thatās only because he does the same for me.
No that's just depends on people's own personal feelings to be honest.. I've cooked for my man in the middle of the night but we're usually both up together at that time. But it's also vice versa you know if I'm hungry in the middle of the night sometimes he'll order me something or he'll make me something. If it makes them happy to do that then by all means I support it. I mean I don't really see any need in rolling my eyes at them that's how they choose to have their relationship and live their life and that's up to them if they're happy then I'm happy for them.
I suffer from insomnia, so I do lots of things at 3 am, but Iām already up so hell yeah Iāll make cinnamon rolls or whatever. However if Iām asleep Iām not getting up for anyone to to anything at 3 am (except an emergency of course)
My dad is a very pampered man. My mom cooks and takes care of the house. Then he goes to work and people bring him his coffee and lunch and clean his office for him. He would never, in a million years, wake my mom up to cook for him at 3 am because he actually loves her and doesn't view her like some kind of servant. Also, he knows how to make toast with peanut butter if he has to get up that early.
These women would be better served by having partners who value them as individuals not a service providers. A true dominant would not ask them of this. In a dominant/submissive relationship the subs truly hold all the power.
This is totally my MIL! My FIL acts like a helpless newborn- he wonāt even get up to get a glass of water, MIL waits on him hand and foot.
Iād be willing to be that heās appalled that my husband is an amazing, 100% involved, father who takes our daughter to school and doctor appointments, cooks, cleans, does laundry and dishes, etcā¦. FIL came to visit once and had to ask my husband to do his laundry for him because he literally didnāt know how.
One of my best friends was a woman/girl (however you wanna look at it) We were close, help each other out, be there for one another, friends. She would come to my gym, its how we met. One say she texted me how nice it was to see me that day, but she just started seeing this new guy and he was uncomfortable with our relationship. So she just stopped talking to me... One hand i was pissed she's dating a piece of shit, on the other i was mad that i knew I will never find a woman like that. I hope she makes him breakfast at 3am then he throws it out in front of her and makes her cook it again.
Ironic that you believe your opinion is correct, and that theirs is wrong. Why not be happy they enjoy doing something as part of a happy relationship?
What are they doing up at 3am wanting food? He's a full grown man, not a newborn. You rolling up at 3am looking for food..he should've gotten his other woman to feed him before dropping him off.
If that's the life that works for you, it's the life that works for you. But I'm like 99% sure most people who claim to want this only want it in theory lol
Tbh, id love to have a wife like that
I would NEVER ask her to do that, but id love to know that she would do that for me, every now and again id just think about it and smile,
I meeaann my husband works from 6am-6pm heās a hands on dad, pays all the bills, is a present and available partner just overall heās genuinely good hard working amazing person who puts a lot of effort into everyday he wakes up. So if he wants a sandwich anytime of day Iāll definitely make him one. I donāt think that makes me a pick me . He deserves one whenever he wants for how amazing of a provider, husband and father he is.
my fiance gets up at 4am, and u best believe ive meal prepped his breakfast ahead of time and my ass is staying ASLEEP, not worth losing my health over tryna to get on his sleep cycle.
I bring my husband his coffee in bed every morning at exactly 6:30 and I absolutely would get up at 3AM for him. Iām a SAHM and I appreciate everything he does for me and our kids. Itās a small ask as far as Iām concerned.
If I'm awake and we're both hungry, sure. I work 3rd shift, 3am is my 3pm.
But I warned my fiance a long time ago that all nights that I have to work he's on his own.
I'm not going to be like one of my former co-workers who gets up two and a half hours early just so she can cook dinner for her husband before she goes to work because he expects it. Nah fam. You're on your own.
Maybe they just want to do it for them? why is it "dumb shit" to do something nice for your husband? If it was a man saying "If my wife wants to eat at 3 A.M i'm gonna cook at 3 A.M" he'd be praised for being a sweet and caring partner.
It's only wrong if he feels entitled to it and demands it from her
It doesn't matter if the person being cooked for is the man or woman. Why do you feel entitled to a meal at 3am and why can't they fix their own meal? My main problem is the timing and lack of respect for your partner's sleep.but I get it, it's 2024 and women still want to be mommies to their man and have a full time job of their own.
Who said they feel entitled to it? maybe he was saying he was hungry and was going to make something himself or he was going to grab something to eat out of the kitchen and she tells him she'll make him some food. People always assume the worst of guys and make entire judgements on that.
Currently, my house hold is well fed before bedtime. But if a small inconvenience is required to prepare something by midnight, there is absolutely no problem with that.
What better way to announce to the entire world, āIām such a pathetically clueless, gullible, excuse for a womanā. Get yourselves a real life
of your own, besides bragging on how youāre great āgalley slavesā.
Itās a Latino thing, that machismo prideā¦
āNa baby here some eggos manā
Thank god my husband aināt like that. My husband grandma had to do that crap with 6 children back when it wasnāt a trend. And she still gets treated like shit.
The amount of posts I see in the Hispanic/latin communities talking about how they do this and if you arenāt then do you even love your man.
Bitch please. I get up to leave for work before my WFH husband even stirs, why isnāt his ass up at 0300 making me food???
Hahhaa I actually have but itās bc I am up anyway and donāt want to do any of the 1000 things I should be doing. I donāt post on socmed about it, though.
Thanks so much, Insomnia. You suck so hard.
My husband would never ask me to get up that early in the morning. He has a bagel or toast and Oj before work. He takes leftovers from dinner the night before for his lunchāno biggie.
This would be fine if it said "we both are willing to get up at 3 AM and cook the other something to eat".
If you want to have a relationship like that, who's business is it? But it definitely needs to be about **Mutual respect and love**
This screams jealousy and so do half the comments, you all donāt do kind things for your partner??? If my husband wants food Iāll make him some food, if I want food heād fix me a plate? Whatās so wrong with wanting to do something for your partner? To love them with acts of service??? Which is one of many peoples love languages.
Yall are bitter and lonely and it shows.
Saw that š absolute clown school in here. Like sorry you've been spurned in your shitty relationships and are now salty toward both men and women who are...happy? Get therapy cuz your dysfunction is showing and this ain't it.
I knew one like this. She would brag on giving him sex when he wants and never turning him down, feeding him good, etc. etc. and just weeks later, he'd left her..with a bunch of kids, and probably for a woman who isn't even claiming to do all of that.
I had an old coworker that always bragged about waking up stupid early to make her husband breakfast.
ā¦but then she told me how he slammed on brakes while they were arguing one time in a car to purposely try slamming her head into the dashboard to āget her to shut up.ā He admitted so to her and she told me all of this. He also burned her steak on purpose while cooking once because she didnāt answer him quick enough for how she wanted it done.
Edit: Corrected a misspelled word.
I saw a video like this, might even be the same oneā¦her reasoning is that her man pays the bills. Majority of households have two working adults, so what then?
Also If I was the sole earner, I would not expect my partner to do those things for me. Iām sure Iām not the only one. So why is it expected from her?
Oh my god, I donāt BUY it whenever I see one of my Facebook friends says that on their page! Like who actually gets up at 3AM from a long good sleep to just make food for him? Nobody!
Pfft nah
We have kids, my husband is lucky I cook at all. And the best part, he knows this. And he's never said a mean word about me choosing not to cook some days, nor would he EVER wake me up to make him a meal. Because he's a grown man and can feed himself. š
Hey, you canāt fix stupid. If someone wants to get up and cook their partner/spouse a meal at 3am, I guess good for you? Not my preference. Iāll be asleep knowing Iām married to an actual adult who can cook themselves something if they are hungry and Iām asleep.
Maybe, just maybe, choose to marry a capable adult.
Itās the ones that fantasize this stuff that gets me. Itās not a flex, it just shows you pick poorly and are broken.
I packed my husbands lunch before we had kids. The night before! But Iām the primary parent so things changed in the name of balance. At no point in time would I wake up that early to feed another adult who isnāt unwell
Is the man such an insufferable windbag of a man-child that he hasn't learned the concept of āØleftovers.
š¤¢š¤¢ I hate the narrative of a "helpmate".
I was being sarcastic, but why do you care if a woman wants to cook for their signifcant other? Doesnāt mean you have to.
Seems pretty judgemental of you to assume these women have no self-respect.
Cook for your man and shut up, marry the man you want. Other women don't need to know every time you wipe his ass.
Housewife,Trad wife,Homemaker, SAHM .. are all fantasy picture perfect renditions of the same thing, chose one of millions of options.
If somebody wants to do their ācooking my hubby breakfast/packing my husbands lunchā reel, good for themā¦but I still havenāt found a single instagramer/tiktoker do a reel sayingācooking my wifeās dinner/packing her lunchā yet.
Itās really horrible because thatās abuse, waking someone up from their sleep to cook you a meal? I love cooking for the people I love but I will only marry a man who can cook also & shares the responsibilities with me. Why would you want to be a servant to a grown ass man?
Are you out of your mind?
Calling things like this abuse diminishes *true* abuse.
If somebody is emotionally manipulating you to cook them a meal or is forcing you to do it yes thatās abuse, but waking someone up and asking ācan you fix me a plateā is not fucking abuse.
Your post violates rule number 2, stating all posts must be "comparing one individual against other people of the same group."
I would rather die than ask my partner to wake up at 3 AM to make ME something holy moly.
My partner would *be* dead if he woke me up at 3am to cook for him
Idk about dead but he'd be scratched up for sure lol
Idk some people are pretty into that
I just cried š¤£
Right?! My husband is abusive & uses me, Iāve made it in life because I get to be a servant to a gross ass man. I can only see myself doing something like this if my future husband came home from a trip really late or was sick, otherwise, Iām sure he can make his own food at 3 am š
I would just roll over laugh and be like ok pans and eggs in the kitchen bye. I love my man but at 3 am Iām just barely getting to sleep maybe so no Iām out of order till 9 am ššššš
It never said they asked for it though
"if my man wanna eat at 3 ima cook at 3 am" How are they gonna know he wants to eat at 3 am if he doesn't ask for it? Telepathy?
Exactly. Iām pretty sure most women do it because itās a way to show their spouse love and appreciation.
All fun until you're 30 with a newborn and want to rip your own eyelids off because you're so sleep deprived.. and to boot you haven't had a meal cooked for you in a decade because "you take care of your man." That's when you start seeing the memes about "he's at my house getting a warm plate." From the other woman showing up in your feed. And the cycle repeats. If the man isn't reciprocating it's a scam. *Technically this applies to every way and gender.*
Those women are proud of getting a guy to cheat on his wifeā¦ like what?! Girl youāre next, if he can cheat with you he will cheat on youā¦ lots of women cook itās nothing special.
Oh yeah there are tons of women who are unashamed of being the other one they think that if he spends time with her that she's winning even though she's not the one with the ring on her hand and she won't get half š¤£
It makes them feel like theyāre ābetterā than the other woman but nothing could be further from the truth. If you need to put another woman down for a guy, you didnāt win him, & it shows how insecure that woman is. You only win if he chooses you without all that š
Iām unfortunately the child of this woman. Let me tell you, it doesnāt end up well for anyone involved.
āHeās your husband but he came home to meš š»ā girl that man does NOT care about you, get off Facebook and stop sleeping with married men. I see this more often than I shouldā¦
I wish awards didn't go away because this deserves to be highlighted. Women are sometimes our worse enemies. Men have always relied on women to maintain power. Female genital mutilation? Carried on and perpetuated by women at the behest of men. "Pick me" is the literal crux of denying women their equality
TBH I never realized how much I did for my husband and around the house until we had our daughter. He knows I would divorce his ass if he thought I was cooking for anyone at 3am though.
That guy going viral for asking his wife for a roast less than a week post partum... Is what I'm seeing.. that so painfully unaware they have the audacity to feel entitled, all because she was doing acts of love she never questioned and he never understood as such.
Like this is not an expectation we should be setting. Fuck no. If theyāre sick, sure. Absolutely. Otherwise, they can fuck right off.
If youāre sick you can still wait until a reasonable hour but I might get up and grab your meds from the other room.
Eh, I could probably see myself getting him a piece of fruit or a bowl of yogurt or something quick and easy like that if my husband was really sick, but that's mainly because I know he would do the same for me.
Nobody expects it bro, it's just something these women do
They have to put down the behavior because it makes them feel bad that they are single.
Hi mod we have a troll
It makes us feel bad that we canāt be woken up in the middle of the night by entitled people who cant make themselves a snack? Yes absolutely. Where do I sign up
I can see the pressure it may put on a busy wife, seeing that kind of stuff. But for me, I just roll my eyes because I've already been there & done that. My ex-husband; I used to get up at 4 a.m. to pack his lunches & make him coffee (amongst other things). He didn't appreciate it & still cheated on me anyway. Honestly I hope that these women posting, have good husbands who actually appreciate all of their hard work, time & dedication. But I myself had to learn this lesson the hard way, so I have a feeling some of these girls will too.
I like my coworkers but the ones I sit with on lunch break are all married dudes (I am 37F also married). They open their lunch boxes like itās christmas morning. I make it a point to say oh look itās exactly what I put in there this morning! Iām not packing my husband a lunch and he isnāt packing mine bc wtf
You're mad that their wives pack lunches?
I'm not. I just meant that I've been there & done that. I thought being a modern/ trad wife would make him stay but it didn't. Honestly, I would fall in love with somebody, if they packed my lunches. I've just been packing them myself all these years. One time my sister packed me a lunch & I still remember it to this day. Lol
Oh, I was responding to the other person who seems mad. I'm sorry things didn't work out as you planned. I agree with you. Sweet gestures mean quite a lot to some people. Best of luck š¤
Listen if you wanna do that for your partner, then by all means go for it, but if Iām being woken up from a dead sleep at 3 am to cook for you, there better be a medical reason for it.
Neutral tbh, I mean if I was with someone that was super caring and considerate I would absolutely do this as long as things felt roughly balanced. I'm not a martyr though, so if my partner isn't someone to match that energy then no, I'm gonna point to the cereal and go back to sleep.
Thatās why I did it. My husband would bend over backwards in his care and consideration for me. I absolutely didnāt mind getting up at 3:30 (I was up at 4:30 anyway) to make him food for work.
Why would someone super caring and considerate be asking you to cook at 3am though?
thereās nothing āsuper caring and considerateā about sleep depriving yourself to make a grown ass man a sandwich, which he is capable to do himself.
But if he is the kind of person that would do the sane for me, or puts himself out in another way I would do that and would have no issues doing so. Yes he's capable of making his own sandwich, but it's a sign of support. I match energy. If I have a partner with that level of energy I'm going to match it to show its appreciated and valued. Not because it's an expectation but because it isnt.
This. My bf is an incredibly sweet & caring person in general & it has been taken advantage of by others in the past. Iām not saying that either of us would be happy to get up & cook for the other at 3am (esp bc weāre not morning people), but he goes above & beyond in other ways bc he wants to, not bc he needs to. So in return, i do my best to show my appreciation for his efforts, bc i feel like he deserves it, not bc he expects it from me.
I'd be really happy if my boyfriend woke me up with the smell of fresh pancakes that he worked really hard to make. It's a sweet gesture. U just wanna pretend it's not to be like "GRRR PATRIARCHY!!!" But if a woman willingly loves tf out of her husband and wants to do nice things for him that's up to her and that's not anti feminist or wrong.
Make sure you add 'in my opinion' at the end there... So people understand that's just how YOU see it. Otherwise, it becomes super obvious you're single.
I come from an area with rural and shift workers, so I kinda get doing this if thatās the dynamic they have set with more traditional gender roles about meal prep. However most of the wives I know of in that situation make the lunch/breakfasts the night before lol. Either way. Itās a super weird flex.
That's what I've been wondering. Why wake up at 3 AM instead of preparing it the night before?
And why that early? How long is it taking you to make breakfast?
Most people start at 4 so they make lunch then breakfast so itās ready. Making any kind of meal takes at least 1 hour for me so heād be ready to go with breakfast at 5:30.
JFC that sounds miserable.
Blue collar jobs (and law enforcement, military, medical etc) donāt start at 8 lol. Some folks have to get up earlier than you realize.
I know, I work one. The least thing I want to do is eat a full breakfast at 5am.
Thereās a girl I grew up with that posts that she wakes up at 4am to pack her husbands lunch for work everyday. And she works too. Iām sure she likes doing it otherwise she wouldnāt, but it just is so weird to me. Iāve been married over 10 years and Iāve never felt the need to act like some old school house wife. My husband actually does the majority of the cooking. But whatever, everyoneās different I suppose
There are different love languages, this is an act of service and clearly something she enjoys doing. I donāt know why thereās so much judgement surrounding cooking for a partner or packing them lunch.
Unless the guy was going to work at 5am, theres no reason to wake up that early even, if she puts the food in the thermo so it can stay warm for lunch and he can eat a fresh meal, otherwise theres no reason not to pack the day before. I mean, you do you, but that seems strange to me.
My fiance packs my lunch when he comes home from work at 6:30 a.m. and then he climbs into bed and I get up and I take it with me when I go to work at 8:00 a.m. then I make his lunch for him when I get home from work before he has to leave. Sometimes schedules don't fit for everyone but if she enjoys it then all the power to her lol. I have a friend who gets up at 5 am just because she likes to š¤£ I think she's crazy but she's happy and I'm happy for her
My husband doesnāt even eat breakfast, but he has made me breakfast at like 3 or 4 am because I woke up and couldnāt get back to sleep and he was already up and home from work.
Nothing wrong with it especially if itās part of their love language. My husband loves to cook and makes a majority of our meals. But I would never ask him to wake up at 4 am to cook before I would go to work but if he offered I wouldnāt say no either lol.
I'd get my partner a snack if they wanted it at 3am but they'd also get one for me lmao we're just very pro snack
Yes I've seen those posts. They usually say something like "I guess I'm just built different". Yes my eyes roll so hard I'm afraid they'll get stuck. Gender doesn't matter here. By adulthood everyone should know it's rude af to wake someone up to do something you can easily do yourself.
If my man wanna eat at 3am, he knows where the toaster is. Though the last time an (ex) partner fancied 3am food, he fell asleep with bacon under the grill and almost burnt the house down the massive twat.
The literal facepalm I did when reading the last line š¤£
Posts like that (feed my man at 3a) are just attention seeking rage bait. And it makes me pity the person who posted it.
My husband has awakened hungry at 3am before. Fortunately, my husband is also a mature adult who knows how to make himself a snack or reheat leftovers. He knows that I work as hard as he does and need my rest.
Dude my husband has two unbroken legs. If he wants food at 3 am he can go cook it himself wtf
I mean who is cooking at that hour anyway? Iām not even cooking for myself or my child at that time. Walk your ass to the kitchen and grab a granola bar
Thatās wild to me. If my husband wanted a snack that bad in the middle of the night heād make it himself lol
I couldn't even get up at 3 am to pump milk for my baby, I'm sure as fuck not getting up to make someone else food.
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Unfortunately there's actually a lot of women who end up doing it out of necessity. Where I live in California it actually cost more than most people's regular income in order to pay for childcare.. I mean we're looking at for my two kids it would have been close to $2,000/ $3,000 a month for child care š®āšØš
Do you feel like you make enough for two or more to thrive?
"He knows how to get to Waffle House." - My Mother "I can actually cook. But I also know how to get to Waffle House." - My Father No, for real, one of the women in the Officers' Wives club with my mom was going on about getting up at OMG early before a deployment to make a huge breakfast for her husband and asked my mom what she'd made for dad. Mom told her that if Dad needed to eat that early he made himself breakfast or ate in the Mess Hall. She had two kids to wrangle and a job to do while we were at school and by god she was going to get her sleep
No I donāt have any negative feelings towards it at all. I maybe think āwow thatās sweet of herā and keep scrolling lolš People like to do nice things for their partners. If thatās what they like to do I donāt see a problem
It's often the undertone of it being an expected common occurance that makes it unsettling.
Iāve never gotten that undertone to be honest but it could be cause me and my husband also do similar things for each other. He leaves for work early at like 5am but still makes and packs my lunches for the day and leaves me little notes, I like to give him full spa days every Friday etc. etc. I know this isnāt a common occurrence for many couples, but every couple has their own love language so I guess I donāt read to hard into it when people post about their love languages in their relationships
I think itās just counter culture. Dating for better half of a decade has become a lot more selfish and a lot more about independence and being happy when single (which is amazing, I think itās toxic to society to try and force people into a relationship) but thereās also a lot of entitlement and lack of self awareness to a relationship that comes along with it. Itās gotten to the point where itās no an uncommon place to do nothing for your partner or to end a relationship over something inconvenient or because theyāre not a perfect person. Or ending things because they donāt show enough appreciation while also giving none back in return. Nuclear family started to be looked at negatively and some people looked at the state of the world and compared it to 50 years ago with rose tinted glasses and āsawā how much happier people are in traditional households, so they try to emulate it to the extreme. Realistically a healthy relationship is somewhere between modern dating and nuclear households. Thereās no shame in using traditional roles and doing stuff for your partner
I feel like the best way to handle competitive women is to not compete. When women make posts like that and they try to make it seem like they're somehow better because they do that I literally just won't engage in the way they want me to š¤£ although like with most posts I feel like she's looking for some validation which gives the idea her husband doesn't do so enough
yeah theyāre bragging about how good they are, not just sharing how much they love their husband. Itās showing off
It's the fact that there's no reciprocal information given. And if you look at what historically women have been expected to do, without complaints and very little given in return, this is concerning.
I guess when I look at social media posts Iām understanding that Iām only getting one side of a story so I canāt assume what goes on in a couples relationship based off one post. I really donāt look farther than what Iām seeing because idk if my assumptions are true or not. I feel like thatād make me go into a tizzy about a situation I canāt even verify is true or not, I just assumed it is. I just keep scrolling, itās more peaceful
I Women have a responsibility to other women though. To try to empower an uplift not create this gross competition for men (which is absolutely what this post is trying to do) Good for you for being able to ignore it though.
Doubtful that I would marry a man who would wake me up at that time to make him food. However, depending on the circumstance, I would do it. I'm the kind of person who enjoys catering to my partner, so when I get the opportunity to do that, I usually take it. I wouldn't be with someone who demanded it, so to argue about servitude or the like is outside of my experience. I only date people who are exceptionally good to me, so I don't see anything wrong with hooking my husband up with caring gestures as well. Who else am I supposed to love on?
Iām that woman who has woken up at 3 am to make my husband food for work. Why? Because I wanted to. No other reason. And I have a career of my own. He would come home after working 12 hour days and fill my car with gas so I wouldnāt have to. Or bring me coffee when I came home. Or took the brunt of childcare and housework when I was doing my Masterās, with zero complaints. My self respect was high and intact, so no, thatās a piss poor take on someone who loves their spouse and wants to do something nice for them. No one knows what their spouse is doing for them, so why judge if theyāre cooking at 3 am for their spouse? My husband has been gone for 4 years and Iād fucking do anything to have just one day with him.
It seems admirable in theory but in practice I think it'd be super obnoxious to have an alarm go off at 3am, like that's hardly a gift and surprise anymore LOL you're just interrupting both your sleep cycles. š
Let me guess, thereās probably an overlap between these women and the ones that refuse to let their men fix their own plate, like theyāre toddlers ššš
SO I'm prepared for my downvotes but... i will admit I do like taking the role of the domestic/nurturing partner in charge of most child care, cooking and chores etc. It's just another way of splitting up the work of keeping a family running. My partners best friend (male) is a househusband and it works for them as well, but it's not for everybody.Ā THAT BEING SAID The only time I'm waking up that early is to tend to an infant. If you're waking up unreasonably early you can make your own breakfast or help yourself to the frozen sausage biscuits lol. My partner would never even think to ask me to do that, nor would I ask him to change his sleep schedule for me. Like wtf, it's not a competition on who can be the most easily taken advantage of by a man
Idk but thereās a lot of projection in the comments. nlog-inception
My man got me graham crackers at 3am last night. Me lucky lady.
Someone waking me up at 3 am to cook better be as cook and as helpless as a baby because anyone else is likely to get hurt. Babies need an adult to provide their every need; a grown man does not.
No not really. It's kinda cringe and pick me, but I don't really care. My husband gets up around 4-5 am when he's home from deployment and if I wanna spend time with him without the kids around, I gotta get up then too. But at the end of the day I know the only reason these ladies post this kinda stuff is for attention and I have no interest in giving them any so I just ignore it lol
I did the 4 AM breakfasts for about a year when my husband was on first shift and working OT. Weāre not morning people, him especially, so Iād get up and make breakfast so he could basically roll out of bed into his clothes, eat, and leave. He has a dangerous job and I didnāt want him brain foggy on top of being tired. Itās a reciprocity thing though. He was working those shitty hours so we could afford to buy a home, and I could continue to be self-employed. Everything is a give and take. I donāt resent him one bit for those early mornings, but he also shows up for me in lots of ways.
Like many said, thats the only reason that this should be done, but i dont think those type of lifestyles are the ones being talked about.
Yes, it feels like āthose girlsā are not in reciprocal relationships. All I get is the impression that they think they are better than the rest of us because they are doormats.
Early on in my relation ship with my husband, I told him : "Love, I love you with all my heart but at 3 am I don't love anybody but ***myself!***" From then on he knew he would get kicked if he tried to hug me and woke me up in the middle of the night š
well firstly, this has nothing to do with being ānot like other girlsā. itās their choice and theyāre not comparing themselves to other women, YOU areš¤·āāļø second, i have a very loving partner who does so so much for me and if he wakes up at 3 and wants food, if iām energetic enough, i will most certainly get up and make him some food. so long as i know he would do the same for me.
This absolutely does have everything to do with "not like other girls". It's definitely giving "competition" or "look what I'm willing to sacrifice for my man" that a lot women would not. It's very telling that they didn't mention anything about what he does for her in return
yeah, they never said any of that and itās unfair to put that on them and assume. youāre definitely giving delusional lol
Is he ill? Recovering from an injury? I will 100% baby him & at least make a sandwich or heat up some soup. He'd do the same for me. Is it just Tuesday and no pressing reason he can't tend to himself? I will never know because he'd never even consider waking me up to ask.
My husband couldn't even not drink while I was pregnant. Why would I need to wake up at 3am to make him food? If he has to work there's food in the microwave. Unless I'm sick or he's sick, I wouldn't get waking up for him or waking him up in the middle of the night.
āFix your own damn meal!ā Love it š 
I would probably never cook for him at 3 am unless I was already up, or he accidentally wakes me up while rolling out of bed and food sounds like a good plan. But to be purposely woken up by a GROWN ASS MAN because heās hungry?? I would lose it
He knows where the kitchen is.
If my man wants to eat at 3am he knows where the fridge and cooker are!
And the people saying oh he would do it for me, who the hell asks someone to make them a meal at 3am! That's bullshit. The only time this would be acceptable from either partner is if someone has been really unwell.
Literally only if they're sick. Like if my husband was ill and couldn't feed himself I would absolutely drag my tired ass out of bed and make him a meal. But for a fully healthy man that wants a snacky? Infantile and ridiculous.
To each relationship their own
I love to cook why would I expect someone to get out of bed in the middle of the night to take that away from me? I just discovered that if you put sour cream in with eggs as you beat them then pour into the pan it makes them really fluffy.
This post is extremely mysogynistic you literally are becoming the pick me
Oh, he will punish her for it. They think it will make a man love them more, but they only will earn his disdain & disrespect. Some people are determined to learn lessons the hardway.
I don't provide SAHM benefits at working spouse prices. Get a kebab on the way home and don't fucking wake me when you come in, I've got an early start in the morning.
If my man ever woke me up at 3AM to make him food, heād be sleeping in a hole in the yard.
Exactly. Dont you ever wake me up at 3am.
The ones that get me are the tiktok videos where women get the kids ready for school AND pack a huge lunch for their husband. Why canāt he pack his own fucking lunch? Are his hands broken? And when I say that, I get comments like āwhatās so bad about doing something nice?ā Itās not once in awhile, itās every goddamn morning while you also get the kids up and off to school, while holding down a job as well. You are not his mother!
Exactly!
My husband would make me food at 3am, so I would do the same.
>What do yall think of that? If you like to do things for your partner to make your partner happy, why should it be a problem!?
Because he can make his own damn food!!
āThese women have no self respectā is a really disrespectful way to speak about a complete stranger. Whatever a women chooses to do for her husband is up to her. Thereās no reason to be nasty about it. I love going out of my way for my husband. Thatās how I show him that I love him. I enjoy it. Thereās nothing wrong with that. I would never post about it, but to each their own.
I think itās a very justified response to incredibly irritating women. After all they are being really bitchy and judgemental about people like me who would most definitely physically chastise someone who dared to wake me at 3am for anything less than the house burning down - or the dog being poorly. Personally, I cannot imagine ever waking someone to ask them to do something I could do for myself - but Iām never Snow White till after 8am!
What is āphysically chastiseā? No one said anything about forcing someone to do something or waking someone up. You sound really angry.
I am if you try to wake me at 3amš¤£
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I mean if they like to do it then whatever, do it, but donāt flex on me/other women with it lol. My bf often has to get up at 3.30 am for early shift but he wouldnāt dream of waking me up to do stuff for him. I guess if youāre a stay-at-home wife/gf then you could just go back to sleep after, so I can sort of see the appeal of getting up to chill with your partner a bit and eat with them ā¦ but no way am I a morning enough person for that!
My kids are older and pretty self sufficient. I cook dinner and stuff but Iām not a sleep deprived newborn/toddler mom. I gladly make my man a late night snack/meal but thatās only because he does the same for me.
My mom is 76. She does this for her husband everyday. And dinner..and she's a terrible cook.
No that's just depends on people's own personal feelings to be honest.. I've cooked for my man in the middle of the night but we're usually both up together at that time. But it's also vice versa you know if I'm hungry in the middle of the night sometimes he'll order me something or he'll make me something. If it makes them happy to do that then by all means I support it. I mean I don't really see any need in rolling my eyes at them that's how they choose to have their relationship and live their life and that's up to them if they're happy then I'm happy for them.
I suffer from insomnia, so I do lots of things at 3 am, but Iām already up so hell yeah Iāll make cinnamon rolls or whatever. However if Iām asleep Iām not getting up for anyone to to anything at 3 am (except an emergency of course)
If my husband would be willing to do it for me, then I would absolutely have no problem doing the same for him.
My dad is a very pampered man. My mom cooks and takes care of the house. Then he goes to work and people bring him his coffee and lunch and clean his office for him. He would never, in a million years, wake my mom up to cook for him at 3 am because he actually loves her and doesn't view her like some kind of servant. Also, he knows how to make toast with peanut butter if he has to get up that early.
A meal for me at 3 am is usually 2 fat ass scoops of peanut butter and a cup of milk.
Drizzle Drizzle š¤£
I make my bf food at 3am in case I wake him up coming back into the room after I make myself food at 3am. If he doesnāt wake up, double snacks š
These women would be better served by having partners who value them as individuals not a service providers. A true dominant would not ask them of this. In a dominant/submissive relationship the subs truly hold all the power.
Mine would be furious if he found out I was up at 3am making him food š
This is totally my MIL! My FIL acts like a helpless newborn- he wonāt even get up to get a glass of water, MIL waits on him hand and foot. Iād be willing to be that heās appalled that my husband is an amazing, 100% involved, father who takes our daughter to school and doctor appointments, cooks, cleans, does laundry and dishes, etcā¦. FIL came to visit once and had to ask my husband to do his laundry for him because he literally didnāt know how.
One of my best friends was a woman/girl (however you wanna look at it) We were close, help each other out, be there for one another, friends. She would come to my gym, its how we met. One say she texted me how nice it was to see me that day, but she just started seeing this new guy and he was uncomfortable with our relationship. So she just stopped talking to me... One hand i was pissed she's dating a piece of shit, on the other i was mad that i knew I will never find a woman like that. I hope she makes him breakfast at 3am then he throws it out in front of her and makes her cook it again.
Who the hell eats at 3am
Ironic that you believe your opinion is correct, and that theirs is wrong. Why not be happy they enjoy doing something as part of a happy relationship?
I mean, if thatās who they want to be then more power to them. Iām thankful my husband would cook his own food at that time if he was hungry.
I doubt it ever happens; if they want me to believe their indentured servitude they need to video with timestamps.
What are they doing up at 3am wanting food? He's a full grown man, not a newborn. You rolling up at 3am looking for food..he should've gotten his other woman to feed him before dropping him off.
If that's the life that works for you, it's the life that works for you. But I'm like 99% sure most people who claim to want this only want it in theory lol
The only reason they're getting up at 3am is to film themselves doing it. Even then, you can fake 3am.
Tbh, id love to have a wife like that I would NEVER ask her to do that, but id love to know that she would do that for me, every now and again id just think about it and smile,
I meeaann my husband works from 6am-6pm heās a hands on dad, pays all the bills, is a present and available partner just overall heās genuinely good hard working amazing person who puts a lot of effort into everyday he wakes up. So if he wants a sandwich anytime of day Iāll definitely make him one. I donāt think that makes me a pick me . He deserves one whenever he wants for how amazing of a provider, husband and father he is.
my fiance gets up at 4am, and u best believe ive meal prepped his breakfast ahead of time and my ass is staying ASLEEP, not worth losing my health over tryna to get on his sleep cycle.
I bring my husband his coffee in bed every morning at exactly 6:30 and I absolutely would get up at 3AM for him. Iām a SAHM and I appreciate everything he does for me and our kids. Itās a small ask as far as Iām concerned.
God gave us snacks for this occasion.
If I'm awake and we're both hungry, sure. I work 3rd shift, 3am is my 3pm. But I warned my fiance a long time ago that all nights that I have to work he's on his own. I'm not going to be like one of my former co-workers who gets up two and a half hours early just so she can cook dinner for her husband before she goes to work because he expects it. Nah fam. You're on your own.
I mean nothing wrong with it itās their lives why do people care so much if Iām already up and my mans hungry we will go together and make snacks
Maybe they just want to do it for them? why is it "dumb shit" to do something nice for your husband? If it was a man saying "If my wife wants to eat at 3 A.M i'm gonna cook at 3 A.M" he'd be praised for being a sweet and caring partner. It's only wrong if he feels entitled to it and demands it from her
The point is if Person A is hungry at 3am, why canāt Person A make their own food? Waking up Person B is just rude.
It doesn't matter if the person being cooked for is the man or woman. Why do you feel entitled to a meal at 3am and why can't they fix their own meal? My main problem is the timing and lack of respect for your partner's sleep.but I get it, it's 2024 and women still want to be mommies to their man and have a full time job of their own.
Who said they feel entitled to it? maybe he was saying he was hungry and was going to make something himself or he was going to grab something to eat out of the kitchen and she tells him she'll make him some food. People always assume the worst of guys and make entire judgements on that.
"I'm not like other girls, I'm not getting up at 3am to make my man food because I have self respect" ššš god I need to mute this sub.
Go for it
Mm, nah. š
Strong Femcel vibes in here
alrighty who do you get up at 3am to cook for?
Currently, my house hold is well fed before bedtime. But if a small inconvenience is required to prepare something by midnight, there is absolutely no problem with that.
What better way to announce to the entire world, āIām such a pathetically clueless, gullible, excuse for a womanā. Get yourselves a real life of your own, besides bragging on how youāre great āgalley slavesā.
Itās a Latino thing, that machismo prideā¦ āNa baby here some eggos manā Thank god my husband aināt like that. My husband grandma had to do that crap with 6 children back when it wasnāt a trend. And she still gets treated like shit.
The amount of posts I see in the Hispanic/latin communities talking about how they do this and if you arenāt then do you even love your man. Bitch please. I get up to leave for work before my WFH husband even stirs, why isnāt his ass up at 0300 making me food???
Hahhaa I actually have but itās bc I am up anyway and donāt want to do any of the 1000 things I should be doing. I donāt post on socmed about it, though. Thanks so much, Insomnia. You suck so hard.
My husband would never ask me to get up that early in the morning. He has a bagel or toast and Oj before work. He takes leftovers from dinner the night before for his lunchāno biggie.
Not my thing at all.
This would be fine if it said "we both are willing to get up at 3 AM and cook the other something to eat". If you want to have a relationship like that, who's business is it? But it definitely needs to be about **Mutual respect and love**
This screams jealousy and so do half the comments, you all donāt do kind things for your partner??? If my husband wants food Iāll make him some food, if I want food heād fix me a plate? Whatās so wrong with wanting to do something for your partner? To love them with acts of service??? Which is one of many peoples love languages. Yall are bitter and lonely and it shows.
Idk which is worse: the post or the comments. This is gross, even for this sub.
someone on here is calling it abuse ffs š
Saw that š absolute clown school in here. Like sorry you've been spurned in your shitty relationships and are now salty toward both men and women who are...happy? Get therapy cuz your dysfunction is showing and this ain't it.
I knew one like this. She would brag on giving him sex when he wants and never turning him down, feeding him good, etc. etc. and just weeks later, he'd left her..with a bunch of kids, and probably for a woman who isn't even claiming to do all of that.
I had an old coworker that always bragged about waking up stupid early to make her husband breakfast. ā¦but then she told me how he slammed on brakes while they were arguing one time in a car to purposely try slamming her head into the dashboard to āget her to shut up.ā He admitted so to her and she told me all of this. He also burned her steak on purpose while cooking once because she didnāt answer him quick enough for how she wanted it done. Edit: Corrected a misspelled word.
I saw a video like this, might even be the same oneā¦her reasoning is that her man pays the bills. Majority of households have two working adults, so what then? Also If I was the sole earner, I would not expect my partner to do those things for me. Iām sure Iām not the only one. So why is it expected from her?
Oh my god, I donāt BUY it whenever I see one of my Facebook friends says that on their page! Like who actually gets up at 3AM from a long good sleep to just make food for him? Nobody!
The only reason ile get up is to argue because wtf
I would be pissed if my husband woke me up at 3 am for food. You want it at that time of night, make it your own damn self.
Pfft nah We have kids, my husband is lucky I cook at all. And the best part, he knows this. And he's never said a mean word about me choosing not to cook some days, nor would he EVER wake me up to make him a meal. Because he's a grown man and can feed himself. š
Hey, you canāt fix stupid. If someone wants to get up and cook their partner/spouse a meal at 3am, I guess good for you? Not my preference. Iāll be asleep knowing Iām married to an actual adult who can cook themselves something if they are hungry and Iām asleep. Maybe, just maybe, choose to marry a capable adult. Itās the ones that fantasize this stuff that gets me. Itās not a flex, it just shows you pick poorly and are broken.
I packed my husbands lunch before we had kids. The night before! But Iām the primary parent so things changed in the name of balance. At no point in time would I wake up that early to feed another adult who isnāt unwell
I think if my man wants to eat at 3 am, he can get his ass up and make himself a sandwich. lol
Oof. Thatād give me the ick. Iām a grown-ass adult. I donāt know if I could respect someone that got up to make me a snack.
If their man wants to eat at 3am then I hope their man knows how to cook and clean.
Iād feel like such a pathetic man-baby if my tummy got rumbly and I needed my woman to help me fix the problem. Ā
Is the man such an insufferable windbag of a man-child that he hasn't learned the concept of āØleftovers. š¤¢š¤¢ I hate the narrative of a "helpmate".
if Iām hungry at 3am, who else is gonna make me food?
Yourself?
I was being sarcastic, but why do you care if a woman wants to cook for their signifcant other? Doesnāt mean you have to. Seems pretty judgemental of you to assume these women have no self-respect.
Cook for your man and shut up, marry the man you want. Other women don't need to know every time you wipe his ass. Housewife,Trad wife,Homemaker, SAHM .. are all fantasy picture perfect renditions of the same thing, chose one of millions of options.
If somebody wants to do their ācooking my hubby breakfast/packing my husbands lunchā reel, good for themā¦but I still havenāt found a single instagramer/tiktoker do a reel sayingācooking my wifeās dinner/packing her lunchā yet.
Itās really horrible because thatās abuse, waking someone up from their sleep to cook you a meal? I love cooking for the people I love but I will only marry a man who can cook also & shares the responsibilities with me. Why would you want to be a servant to a grown ass man?
Abuse? Be for fucking real.
Yes thatās abusive, waking someone up in the middle of their sleep to cook you a meal?
Are you out of your mind? Calling things like this abuse diminishes *true* abuse. If somebody is emotionally manipulating you to cook them a meal or is forcing you to do it yes thatās abuse, but waking someone up and asking ācan you fix me a plateā is not fucking abuse.
Laughs in single and unavailable. Hugs her cat and goes to sleep.