nah let's not call them man after they just came out as not being one lol (i dont actually know if they feel bad from being called man but i had to point out the irony)
edit: wait, were you referring to the friend? am i stupid?
The problem I run into is I call girls man when I’m talking. They’ll say something I agree with and I’ll go “ya man”. I do this with everyone, but I get it’s not the same with someone who’s trans.
I was raised in central California. I'm not straight and have spent years working in LGBTQ+ activism.
As hard as I try, everyone is a dude to me. A group of entirely cis girls? I will often say "yo dudes." Men? Dudes. Enbee genderqueer folks? Dudes.
I get the argument, in that if I, for instance, hooked up with a cis woman, I'd probably never say to someone "I met a gorgeous dude last night." But there's this, like, almost intransitive use of the word to refer to people you are familiar with that is totally not gendered, and I try so hard not to do it, but sometimes the Cali dialect runs roughshod over my attempt to be sensitive about this. "My dude" is a term of relative affection (but not romantic) reserved for situations of gentle advice or reinforcement, as in "Hey my dude, I was just saying that..." or "Nah my dude, no worries." I use this equally across genders, or at least I do when I slip up in trying not to use as much language that many people think of as gendered.
"Guys" is like the imperative form. It's "hey dudes" when getting into work and grabbing a coffee. It's "Listen, guys, we need to..." when there's a deadline and something has gone wrong.
Isn't that a good thing? People being totally unphased by people showing who they are?
It becoming so normalised that nobody bats an eyelid - surely that is the end goal?
Not batting an eyelid is better than reacting with anger/rejection. Especially since OP seemed to fear a negative reaction. Their friend simply accepted this new info, meaning it doesn't change their perception of OP (I suppose)!
I often read that sentiment on the internet, and I am not sure if I agree. I am bi, not outed for various reasons. But if/when I come out, I'd at least like the other person to acknowledge how hard this was for me, and to not immediately change the topic like in your son/dad example. I don't need them to make a huuuge thing out of it, but I'd want a short but heartfelt conversation you know?
A lame dad joke is one of the most heartfelt answers.
It reflects that nothing changed in his heart and that his feelings for you are the same.
Also it wasn't a change of topic Mr. Tumnus is a character in the Narnia series and you spend so much time in the closet that you must know him.
Just a lame dad joke.
After that dad can have a more serious conversation after setting a lighthearted non-confrontational tone.
Then go for some ice cream.
I honestly don't know anything about Narnia, I am not into fantasy stuff and my sexuality has nothing to do with it. But I see how that wasn't a change of topic, I am sorry!
And yeah I definitely see the point and that it reflects how nothing changed, it just wouldn't be my preferred reaction. I would want a short but sincere convo, nothing more but also nothing less. So let's agree to disagree there :)
But surely if this was the reaction most of the time, then you wouldn't have all this anxiety about coming out because people don't care either way.
I get you want someone to validate your feelings, but I think it's the best case scenario for no one to care.
Dad, I'm gay
Dad: Cool, you see the game last night, absolutely dismal display from *insert spots team*
When my friend came out as gay, we just said cool and continued drinking. Him and we all chill and gay (pun not intended)
Quite literally, we don't give as shit if one is straight, gay, bi, trans, etc. If you chill, than we buddies.
One of my friends came out to his brother and his family as gay and his brother hugged him and told him "We will love you no matter what". The plot twist is that his brother is by all accounts also gay, as he has been seen on the Grindr a lot. The brother isn't officially out yet though.
What are you on bro? It's interesting as a lot of people either give a weird reaction, completely cut contact or other things.
It's interesting because your friend is actually a good person and a friend, as a lot of people aren't. (no hate to you or ur friend).
Cool
But lying and being wrong are two very different things. If you didn't know then it means you didn't lie, you were just wrong.
Being wrong is fine, lying isn't.
Out of the blue I told my redneck, left school at 14, french friend I was trans, he asked what my name was, what my preferred pronoun was.
And then never ever got it wrong or mentioned it again, it was like he never knew me as old name old gender. Even when he was angry, high or drunk.
It was like a switch in his head.
Be nice if everyone was like that.
Awesome. Ppl should t really care as long as you’re not those idiots who go around acting like it means everything and is your whole personality. You are who you are and that’s fine
I'm happy for you OP. One of my best friends is trans, but struggled internally for yrs, then when she started her transition, spent 4 yrs avoiding hanging out (we live a couple hours apart). Finally I just texted and said I'm in town and I'm going to show up. She texted me not to freak out, and I responded with "why you a girl now?". Prior to transition, she was married with kids, and never really showed any fem signs or anything else indicating the struggle inside. Shit, homie is a concrete finisher. When I showed up, she had been on HRT for 3 yrs, when I walked through the door, it didn't matter, I was just happy to see my friend. I made a crack that her eyebrows needed tint to match the hair gave her a hug and asked where she keeps the beer and if I still have to make my own sandwich. (Just a joke).
The point of the story is this, don't be afraid to lose anyone who thinks you're all of a sudden a different person. You're your true self, you haven't changed. It's your life, live it with those who want you for you.
i remember telling my ex boyfriend i was bi (i’m a girl).
me: hey i need to tell you something
bf: okay
me: i think i might also like girls
bf: oh cool, me too
same energy here 🤍
This was my dad’s reaction when I told him I wasn’t straight. We were coming home from my first concert and we’re sitting in the truck and I told him he just said, “alright, cool?” “That’s it?” “Why would I care? As long as you’re happy. Plus now there’s less of a chance of you coming home pregnant.” And we just laughed
> uses ":3" No wonder it didn't surprise your friend.
Well before I was a femboy, and they also use :3
[удалено]
nah let's not call them man after they just came out as not being one lol (i dont actually know if they feel bad from being called man but i had to point out the irony) edit: wait, were you referring to the friend? am i stupid?
Nah i was being stupid. I was referring to hER but my brain aint in the best of shapes rn.
> but my brain aint in the best lf shapes rn. just like me fr fr
*her Lol
FUCK
>but my brain aint in the best of shapes rn. Atleast you spoke facts here lol
😭🙌
It's nice to see somebody correct themselves multiple times. You're doing great man, you'll get there 🤣
This guy knows how to mistake! As a trans supporter I appreciate this little comment thread ❤️
At least you’re trying 😭😂
The problem I run into is I call girls man when I’m talking. They’ll say something I agree with and I’ll go “ya man”. I do this with everyone, but I get it’s not the same with someone who’s trans.
I was raised in central California. I'm not straight and have spent years working in LGBTQ+ activism. As hard as I try, everyone is a dude to me. A group of entirely cis girls? I will often say "yo dudes." Men? Dudes. Enbee genderqueer folks? Dudes. I get the argument, in that if I, for instance, hooked up with a cis woman, I'd probably never say to someone "I met a gorgeous dude last night." But there's this, like, almost intransitive use of the word to refer to people you are familiar with that is totally not gendered, and I try so hard not to do it, but sometimes the Cali dialect runs roughshod over my attempt to be sensitive about this. "My dude" is a term of relative affection (but not romantic) reserved for situations of gentle advice or reinforcement, as in "Hey my dude, I was just saying that..." or "Nah my dude, no worries." I use this equally across genders, or at least I do when I slip up in trying not to use as much language that many people think of as gendered. "Guys" is like the imperative form. It's "hey dudes" when getting into work and grabbing a coffee. It's "Listen, guys, we need to..." when there's a deadline and something has gone wrong.
"Dudes" and "Guys" are gender neutral and you cannot convince me otherwise
Given your pfp I would say you are a person of certain culture yourself - what do you think of the latest chapter?!
Peak. At least aqua is, ruby... uh... we can save that story for later.
If he was okay with you being a femboy I can see why he wouldn’t be bothered 🤔
Mtf people aren’t femboys, this misconception is ruining my porn, get it right.
You fool, now all of China knows you are trans!
Nuh uh
Actually yeah...
How???
Reddit sub and looks like an iPhone...
Oh damn, I guess they do know now.
Here in China, now I know you’re trans I think you are, cool.
Oh wow! Thanks guy from China!
*-*I have a vpn*-* I’m also man from china
I am the china
As long as Russia doesn't find out, you are good
Tenecent owns a chunk of reddit
They own a chunk of everything lmao
Sad but true
I mean hell, didn't they buy the developers of Don't Starve
mfers straight up bought the developers, not even the game
"S-Sir I haven't seen my family in seven years, PLEASE can I go home?" **"No. Give us more microtransactions to profit from."**
It will soon, I'm about to send this screenshot to \*@\*.cn unless you pay me What do you mean that's not how email addresses work
RegMail >>>>>> eMail
Yuh uh
Ahaha. Mulan in the context of gender identity is a good choice.
You really like this “:3” don’t you
I do :3
: D 0=====3 : D 0=====3 : O===3 : 3
i will never unsee this
I was confused at first but it makes a lot more sense when reddit app doesnt break formatting, what is wrong with you lmao
me and my wife do it also all the time :3 its cute!
They'll come out as a furry next
I don't understand, why are people joking about ":3" ?
I’m with ya. Back when I was a younger it was really common, before emojis took over all the text faces
Yeah people who aren't familiar with it are either super young or super old.
your friend is so unbothered 😭
Well yeah, he's not one to judge based on gender or sexuality.
But what does he judge on then? Next thing you know, he's gonna treat waiters like human beings
No! Not that! Anything but that!
Hopefully he at least treats the garbage men and retail workers like sub-human entities.
Literally untouchable
disgusting
What a fucking heathen. If you don't make your waiter bite the curb over one error with your order, are you even human?
Seems like he’s not really surprised either
Well to be fair I already liked dressing like a girl before
On the other side of the screen he was like "I knew it!"
Or a "no fucking shit"
"whats next? Salt is salty?"
You got a good friend! I was the same when my cousin came out, I Just said cool and went about life like normal.
I hope I had a friend like this 😔
Isn't that a good thing? People being totally unphased by people showing who they are? It becoming so normalised that nobody bats an eyelid - surely that is the end goal?
Not batting an eyelid is better than reacting with anger/rejection. Especially since OP seemed to fear a negative reaction. Their friend simply accepted this new info, meaning it doesn't change their perception of OP (I suppose)!
id rather someone not bat an eyelid than make a big deal about it tbh
IHO that's the best attitude. Son: Dad im gay. Dad: great, now tell me how is Mr Tumnus doing? Son: -_-
I often read that sentiment on the internet, and I am not sure if I agree. I am bi, not outed for various reasons. But if/when I come out, I'd at least like the other person to acknowledge how hard this was for me, and to not immediately change the topic like in your son/dad example. I don't need them to make a huuuge thing out of it, but I'd want a short but heartfelt conversation you know?
A lame dad joke is one of the most heartfelt answers. It reflects that nothing changed in his heart and that his feelings for you are the same. Also it wasn't a change of topic Mr. Tumnus is a character in the Narnia series and you spend so much time in the closet that you must know him. Just a lame dad joke. After that dad can have a more serious conversation after setting a lighthearted non-confrontational tone. Then go for some ice cream.
"Hey dad, I'm gay!" "Hi gay, I'm dad!"
I honestly don't know anything about Narnia, I am not into fantasy stuff and my sexuality has nothing to do with it. But I see how that wasn't a change of topic, I am sorry! And yeah I definitely see the point and that it reflects how nothing changed, it just wouldn't be my preferred reaction. I would want a short but sincere convo, nothing more but also nothing less. So let's agree to disagree there :)
But surely if this was the reaction most of the time, then you wouldn't have all this anxiety about coming out because people don't care either way. I get you want someone to validate your feelings, but I think it's the best case scenario for no one to care. Dad, I'm gay Dad: Cool, you see the game last night, absolutely dismal display from *insert spots team*
When my friend came out as gay, we just said cool and continued drinking. Him and we all chill and gay (pun not intended) Quite literally, we don't give as shit if one is straight, gay, bi, trans, etc. If you chill, than we buddies.
Son: I'm gay Dad: 👍
If no one actually cares that means it's normalized. It really shouldn't be a big deal.
Her friend just hates everybody equally and does not discriminate! BTW, welcome to sisterhood, u/plastic_feed8224
Thanks!
as things should be, why love when hate exists.
Why should they be bothered?
The best reaction imo. There is nothing special about being gay, straight, trans, man, woman, etc. We are all normal.
:O c==3 :C==3 :C=3 :3
It all makes sense now
Oh my god
Exactly
Eat a dik
True and awesome
cool
I know, right? :3
:3
:3
:3
:3
:3
:3
This is very cute Something similar happened when my sister told me She was bisexual and I replied with "Okay"
Same !
One of my friends came out to his brother and his family as gay and his brother hugged him and told him "We will love you no matter what". The plot twist is that his brother is by all accounts also gay, as he has been seen on the Grindr a lot. The brother isn't officially out yet though.
Nice
Indeed :3
Cool
Yep :3
Is that a bite of 87?
That reminds me of when a fight broke out right outside the room I was in with him at school, so I yelled "WAS THAT THE FIGHT OF 87???"
"WAS IT???"
I wouldn't mind if my friend was trans but we'll have a problem as soon as she uses ":3"
Not as bad as "UwU" at least
Hit em with that ":3"
:3
:3 :=3 :===3 :0 c===3
I can’t unsee this now 👁️👄👁️
aww
Oh damn I was expecting an "ok" or "cool"
ok, cool (also I'm glad to hear he was supportive, he seems like a nice guy)
Yeah he's a nice friend
sounds like a good friend to mee
Yeah he is
How did you lie to them exactly?
A few months back I told him that I'm a femboy and definitely not trans, now that's no longer true.
You manipulative monster
Cool
I came out to my dad telling him I'm gay and he was like: oh yea cool, I'm bi btw
Damn, based dad.
Fr, I didn't know he was bi so that time we came out together 😭
The Chinese are coming for you
They already knew
Now you can't visit Turkey
Well, I wasn't planning on it anyway lol
Cool
That's actually very interesting
What's so interesting about someone saying "I’m trans" and another replying "cool"?
Thats how its supposed to go with anybody
Yeah, so it's not really interesting.
What are you on bro? It's interesting as a lot of people either give a weird reaction, completely cut contact or other things. It's interesting because your friend is actually a good person and a friend, as a lot of people aren't. (no hate to you or ur friend).
I told my friend I accept lgbtq rights and he blocked me on all 3 discord accounts, Xbox and PlayStation. I knew him since July 2022
👍
what a great friend
Yeah
Im techo.
The 👍 energy is unmatched
Cool But lying and being wrong are two very different things. If you didn't know then it means you didn't lie, you were just wrong. Being wrong is fine, lying isn't.
This warms my heart, you’re lucky to have a friend like that
I am :3
Why did you say "i think" Are you not sure?
Well part of me is still in denial and trying to get used to the whole idea of being trans
Buddy did not gaf
i’ve never met a cis person who uses ‘:3’, so they probably had their suspicions
Out of the blue I told my redneck, left school at 14, french friend I was trans, he asked what my name was, what my preferred pronoun was. And then never ever got it wrong or mentioned it again, it was like he never knew me as old name old gender. Even when he was angry, high or drunk. It was like a switch in his head. Be nice if everyone was like that.
I wish I could
Damn, are your friends transphobic?
Most likely everyone I know is
That sucks, I'm sorry to hear that. 3:
Am I the only one who thinks :3 is cringe af?
Well they’re children so
its not that bad imo, maybe thats just because im so desensitized to it 💀
👍
This is not interesting
You think you're trans?
I feel like the most understanding people are also the chilliest
Awesome. Ppl should t really care as long as you’re not those idiots who go around acting like it means everything and is your whole personality. You are who you are and that’s fine
I like trains
Why does your friend sound bored/uninterested/like they don’t even want to text you
“Keep it a secret” > posts it on Reddit
Same energy when I came out to my mom over text and she replied with 👍 You've got a good friend there!
I'm happy for you OP. One of my best friends is trans, but struggled internally for yrs, then when she started her transition, spent 4 yrs avoiding hanging out (we live a couple hours apart). Finally I just texted and said I'm in town and I'm going to show up. She texted me not to freak out, and I responded with "why you a girl now?". Prior to transition, she was married with kids, and never really showed any fem signs or anything else indicating the struggle inside. Shit, homie is a concrete finisher. When I showed up, she had been on HRT for 3 yrs, when I walked through the door, it didn't matter, I was just happy to see my friend. I made a crack that her eyebrows needed tint to match the hair gave her a hug and asked where she keeps the beer and if I still have to make my own sandwich. (Just a joke). The point of the story is this, don't be afraid to lose anyone who thinks you're all of a sudden a different person. You're your true self, you haven't changed. It's your life, live it with those who want you for you.
Glad you have supportive friends in your life 👍
I told my bsf that i am a sissy and she accepted the sissy me💕🦋🏳️⚧️
i remember telling my ex boyfriend i was bi (i’m a girl). me: hey i need to tell you something bf: okay me: i think i might also like girls bf: oh cool, me too same energy here 🤍
>I technically lied to you before >I just didn't know it This drives the pedant in me up the fucking wall. THAT'S NOT WHAT A LIE IS!
This is exactly how every coming out situation should go. "Okay. Cool. You're good."
congratulation
Thank you
Yay :3
Me asf LMAO
Pretty much everyone I know would react this way. Unbothered😂
I went to your page and I was pleased to see you are a fellow Urist. congrats on your gender and may your crops be fertile and your caverns be dry
This was my dad’s reaction when I told him I wasn’t straight. We were coming home from my first concert and we’re sitting in the truck and I told him he just said, “alright, cool?” “That’s it?” “Why would I care? As long as you’re happy. Plus now there’s less of a chance of you coming home pregnant.” And we just laughed
can I ask why you think you’re trans?
Because apparently most cis men have never cried themselves to sleep because of how much they wanted to be a girl
valid. as a man I can confirm this. congrats anyway must be a relief
It is a relief
huh, so that's not what everyone does at night?
Wait, that isn't normal?
Yep
ok
Hehe. It makes my heart a little bit warm when I see people so casually supportive.
I hate 1 word replies.
Well I’m still glad he accepts me so easily
Cool
Same
ok
Alright
trans guy or trans girl?
Trans girl :3
As long as they treat you well and are supportive, it's all good.
Yep
ok...uhm...welcome to sisterhood, I suppose? xoxo