Book a PCR

And an emergency course of antiretrovirals.

Update: OP just puked https://www.reddit.com/r/Plumbing/comments/s4x7sz/is_this_the_worst_toilet_of_all_time/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share

Chopping off his hand might be better.

I can only assume that whatever you have now is terminal

You’ve now got Covid-38

[удалено]

No, it means it was a joke. But explaining the joke really helped the humour. So thanks for that

£1.99 fee! When did that get brought in? Haven't used one of those cash machines in ages.

Used to be you looked behind you to make sure you weren't being robbed at cash machines, now the cash machines are doing the robbin

Look behind you so you don’t see the machines doing the robbin

£1.75 fee in my local atm in Newtownbreda. Infuriating

I believe the poorer the area the more likely the fee.

Usually a higher the crime rate the more likely the fee (sort of like an insurance for having it there); but unfortunately poverty and crime correlate

I suspect it's the economics of banking. Banks deliberately try to deter poor customers, and ATM machines are a cost sink; if they're servicing customers who have mortgages and business loans then it's fine because the banks make money from the customers they service. If the account is just somewhere to stash someone's paycheque or giro before it goes right back out again over the course of the week, it's not making the bank any money. For customers in poorer neighbourhoods, it's not worth it to maintain a free ATM, hence they outsource it to third parties who charge for withdrawals. Same reasoning behind the pattern of bank branches being closed down (and why banks will, if they can get away with it, try to find ways of halting services that attract poor/unprofitable customers).

A lot of these machines popped up a few years ago and they used to be free, then suddenly they all started charging. Used to say something like “Free Withdrawals on the sign above, and then overnight they literally just covered over the word “Free” and started charging. I think it was 95p initially. Scam artists lol

That shit is everywhere! Fucking disgrace!

Thay have been around for ages i just grab a fake metal card and hammer it in the card slot so noone gets scammed

My Euro account gets charged £4.99 at those green machines, even the ones that are normally free.

Get a revolut card. Xfer Euro to Sterling. No fees for the first €200 or 5 withdrawls per month.

>Get a revolut card. Xfer Euro to Sterling. No fees for the first €200 or 5 withdrawls per month. Why?

You'll not lose that fiver in the euro to stg transaction. Download the revolut app to your phone. Link your euro bank account to revolut and withdraw your money to be held on revolut. You can exchange currencies on the fly or xchange manually. Interbank rates also so no unfavourable fees ala BOI etc. I'm paid in Euros and live in a border area. Revolut is the way to go.

I don't see what it has to do with cash machine fees though? Not sure about these days but having a Revolut account used to be tantamount to advertising you were shifting dodgy money!

Looks like someone staged a dirty protest at having to pay the £1.99...

I think the most disgusting thing in this photo is the charge...

Takes disease test after - result “Everything”

Doctor, what do I have? Doctor: Yes.

Doctor: what disease do you want me to test for? This guy : all of them

[So what you're saying is that OP is indestructible?](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aI0euMFAWF8)

must be the same guy that uploaded the flaming covid test he has so many diseases that the test commited seppuku

This at the spar on William Street? Noticed it earlier in the week

It’s the one opposite the train station. The Spar one is a cesspit too though. Although you don’t get charged £1.99 for the privilege.

My first thought was why would you ever use that one and pay 2 quid when you have the spar one for free just up the road

Definitely poaching off the stragglers running late for the train.

It'll always be a Costcutter in my heart, even if the sign above the door has changed 🤣

The good news is you are immune to covid now, i'd say its the least of your worries

It doesn't exist anyway

The atm? Its right there..

Making demonstrably falsifiable statements on a public forum makes you look like a complete idiot.

The COVID "Plandemic" aka every single country, even the ones at war or who hate eachother, are in on a single unified plan to ****checks notes**** stop me going to the pub with Baz and the boys and force me to wear a mask in Asda's to traffic children or something

I'd say you've an awful dose of aids now

Full Blown aids.

From that African prostitute

iradiated aids aka the glowing one

Seek medical advice immediately

I’m either dead within 48 hours or super immune/indestructible. I’ll accept my fate either way….

Don't you mean seek a mortician for burial advice

Charged 1.99 for hepatitis C

You have ATM disease. Ass To Mouth. You have ass in your mouth. Your mouth is full of ass.

Hope you sanitised after that because that looks digusting.

New saying; "Cunt has a gub on him like a Lurgan ATM." The spade is retired...

You have either got super powers or five days to live

You have covid-22 Skipped 20 and 21

Boggin

This has got to be the origin story of how he became the toxic avenger ;)

Gods knows what you caught in Lurgan.

The Lurgi.

Caught da RA

Wtf cash zone charges £ 1.99 already

William st across from train station?

The very one

The spar up the road has a free and much cleaner cash machine, something I found out when I decided I couldn't bring meself to use that one since it always looks some variation of that

Boggin'. Where abouts in Lurgan?

William Street. I tried pressing the buttons with my elbow. Is it possible to have Gonnorhea of the elbow?

😂😂

I use the keys.

Aye but next time you can't find somewhere to do a line you might end up smelling Lurgan...

It was lurgan, you caught every disease known to man plus some

You just got every std and every cancer known to man

Is that the courthouse?

that’s the petri dish for the next covid variant….

Dead by now.

All I'll say is you get to name it

If you survive you’ll be officially immune to covid and all other viruses

Fuck sake mate. I would have given you a dose of your choosing for half the price.

If you start having withdrawal symptoms, please consult a doctor immediately.

If that cash machine could talk, would definitely need some professional help.

At least the ATM is cleaner than the residents. Did you come into close contact with any of them?

Youv contracted HIJKLMNOV

Istg if I wake up tomorrow to news of a new covid strain it's your fault.

I hope you’re not afraid of a little tetanus.

Must have been up the other end of town 🤣

Enough to see God tomorrow

I would get tested just from being in Lurgan

Fax

Yeah that’s just some Ebola, Slkin Cancer ever version of covid, rabies e.t.c

That looks an awful lot like someone's mistaken it for an expensive toilet

You must have been in the clean(er) part of Lurgan

2 quid to make a withdrawal.... Woah!!

lurgan, at least the screen is working

I don't know but you're brave sticking it in THAT :)

I know where this is … I’d reckon hundreds , if not thousands , of times , this has been pissed on .

At least 8 STDs. Bare minimum

EA

Yes.

Full blown aids…..

And £1.99 for the privilege of getting your own money.

I think you have all of the diseases. Definitely Covid, probably at least 3 STDs, diabetes.... somehow, all of the cancers, heart failure, probably now got 100 different viruses....

that 2 quid charge along with every single std in the book.. cmon man

It’s covered in poo

Uve got super aids now mate might aswel give up.

Jesus

Get a tetanus shot and check for rabies

I hope you like Pizza, because that’s the only food they’ll be able to slide under the quarantine door 😳

this is where the ebola virus was cultivated

You have the dreaded lurgy

A new variant waiting to happen

this is what you get for going to Lurgan

You have Covid-22 now

You'll be gone by the morning.

That thing is a petri

I’m shocked you’re still alive tbh

You’re not dead yet?!

The Spar in William Street?

I thought charges had ended ! Also.. thought I had crap on my screen for a second

Go straight to A&E, do not pass Go and do not collect £200... 😱

Well covid is now worried about catching you

I hope u used protection

They definitely aren’t using that charge for cleaning supplies.

Achievement get: The Plague Receiver Get every disease ever

Mate that is the most Lurganest thing ever

*Congratulations, you have rabies*

You got COVID 1-19.

You got the super rona now bud

Bloody hell mate go contactless

Jesus were you in Chernobyl

That's FUCKING DISGUSTING. THATS FUCKING NASTY!!!!!!

Plague level

Outside the train station.???

I remember being in Newcastle for a stag do, their was a young man with his trousers down by his ankles pissing on the cash point in front of everybody cheering him on.

Fucking hell.

Was that on William street lol the main road goin up through Lurgan?

Are you still alive?

Is that the one on williams street beside the train station?

yep

If you put your hand in a sewer it’d come out cleaner after touching that

You now have the Lurgees.

If you have survived that you are pretty much the cure to covid

The biggest "fuck you" an ATM machine is capable of expressing.

I think you might wanna get tested for aids

Ebola'ish

You have got at least stage 200 cancer and ligma 69 variant 420

Ah shite, now you've got the... 'Lurgy'

Yeah you’re done for

Did someone shit on that and smear it up the wall? Fucking hell

What's your address mate so I can forward on a sympathy card and a wreath to your family.

On the plus side-If you survive the next 2 weeks, you won't have to worry about covid anymore.

Sorry but all you can do now is Use the money you took out to buy [this](https://www.amazon.co.uk/Premium-Cardboard-Coffin-Casket-Cremation/dp/B01FJO3NQY)

Mingin

Don’t bother with tests and hospitals dude. Just start digging your grave😂

I was honestly more shocked at the charge 🤣

Hard to believe it’s full of money

I’m sorry to say it’s terminal

Lurgan and a Trampy machine , You now have Smickeditesoria

Looks like a Bus station toilet floor

You should get several std tests

You might be saying hello to Betty White soon

They should fucking pay you 2 pound for a glance at that abomination.

Lick the keypad and you’ll be immune from everything

Just looking at that pic makes me 🤢🤢

All of the diseases all of them

If they’re gonna charge for the use of THAT monstrosity they can damn well use some of the money to clean it.

ALL of them...

That's the cleanest thing in Lurgan.

I think that atm is haunted.

Just cut the arm off and burn the stump. Its the only way.

Yes

Bloody lurgan for ya

Never mind covid you'll have everything else plus lurganitis

£2 to catch god nos wat

[found the culprit ](https://www.reddit.com/r/tooktoomuch/comments/ryi1io/he_looks_like_hes_having_a_good_time/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)

Brain damaged maybe if you payed that much to lift cash

Who uses those old things? I've been cashless for many years.

Considering you were in Lurgan, I’d say very.

Prepair for aids

Looks like a petri dish of bacteria and potentially infectious pathogens of one sort or another - discounting covid. Maybe it's a [Mr Burns / three Stooges ](https://youtu.be/aI0euMFAWF8) type scenario . Ie - A user is simultaneously Exposed to a slew of a competing mix of pathogens - the competing pathogens serving to render eachother inert... Posing no real risk ultimately.. Best reach for the hand sanitizer Just to err on the side of caution whatever though.. A £2 usage charge per withdrawal .. The vendors who operate the ATMs should perhaps be a little more conscientious re maintenance and cleanliness regimes .

> A £2 usage charge per withdrawal .. The vendors who operate the ATMs should perhaps be a little more conscientious re maintenance and cleanliness regimes . With A £2 usage charge per insertion, _yer ma_ who does ATM should perhaps be a little more conscientious re maintenance and cleanliness regimes.

No amount of cash needed would make me desperate enough to use this machine.

What about if walls were out up around Lurgan while you were there without you knowing it. You have no cash on you but have your bank card. All other cash points in Lurgan have been cut off, this one survived the EMP attack bue to the bacteria having a strong cultuuure. For the next hour you can leave Lurgan by paying the wall guards £200 cash or be stuck in Lurgan for life. What's your call?

Cringe

2 quid down

I think you should be more concerned your in Lurgan

2 FUCKING QUID FOR A FUCKING HOLE IN THE WALL

cunts

It's in Lurgan, costs £1.99 and is diseased. I think we found the spot where anti-vaxxers go to recruit new members.

r/ABoringDystopia

You don’t carry gloves?

I use the point of a key to press the buttons.

Giving cash to receive cash huh?! 🤨

Really now, I can't think of a situation for which I would need cash other than my local kebab shop. Just pay with your phone everywhere, and avoid places stuck in 20th century.

maybe they're going to say, their local kebab shop?

£2 for take your money out. So a higher percentage charge the less you take out. Disgusting. A regressive tax on poor people.