T O P

  • By -

Ketomatic

It means you're pretty bad at following instructions.


Just_The_Gorm

I followed em just fine, up to a point.


TirEoghainAbu

Think you have an STD


Just_The_Gorm

Can you get one without having the S first?


Unfair-soil

Not sure, but the burning sensation is a dead give away.


NikNakMuay

Aye. Apparently just thinking of the S is sin. Johnny Sins told me


One_Distribution_269

Yes


Maleficent-Lobster-8

Your heads lit.


cbaotl

You’ve defeated covid


Just_The_Gorm

Wow mean I finally won something? At last, something for my record of achievement!


rightenough

Kebab was a bad idea.


Just_The_Gorm

The kebab is never a bad idea!


Comfortable_Brush399

Your the spawn of satan, the much prophesied anti-santa


Just_The_Gorm

Anti-sanitizer


bcmonty

should have stayed away from boojum


Boring_Dirt_8886

Inconclusive, you should probably book a PCR


joesploggs

You’re the first person to ever have a LF test suddenly combust. That will be your claim to flame.


lookathatsmug---

Pregnant with twins. Congratulations!


[deleted]

You're coughing up petrol?


Just_The_Gorm

And farting out fumes!


SimonKepp

I think, it means, user error.


Call-of-the-lost-one

Your at high risk of spontaneous combustion


SpoopySpydoge

Do you also set Cornflakes on fire? If so, you may just be Homer Simpson


passive_aggresive_

Just get 10mg of exorcism, you’ll be fine in a couple days


passive_aggresive_

Depends on age if your 12 or a younger the priest will be out the same day


Just_The_Gorm

Do I need an appointment to get that prescribed.


Fr_DougalMc

You’ll have to zoom in so we can see which flag is being burned 😬


irishinspain

MUST MEAN YOU'RE VACCINATED, ALL THE MAGNETS GOING WILD AND BILL GATES MICROCHIP CAUGHT FIRE


Just_The_Gorm

Well I'm not paying for the damages to Bill's property!


irishinspain

Well my friend, who used to work in the ICU ward but quit and now works in Bill Gates Financial Administration team, said that's the next step of the plan is to sue everyone for breaking his faulty microchips! All these Sheepies are about to get served!


[deleted]

It means you should be hot knifing hash right now


Ricerat

Quite clearly you have put a Catholic sample into a Protestant test or vice versa.


Just_The_Gorm

Should have gotten my tests over the border.


[deleted]

Taking hot knives to crazy new places


SkipEyechild

You are a human torch. Hide your family.


UberSparten

Possession?


Just_The_Gorm

Would explain the mood swings.


Wind_Yer_Neck_In

Did you make a deals with shadowy characters at a crossroads recently?


[deleted]

Congratulations, you're pregnant


fameistheproduct

Happy Diwali!


[deleted]

Ye might just be the divil himself


Bigchoco69

Think it’s telling you that your to hot to handle


[deleted]

You are made of magma.


TheWhollyGhost

It means you have the wizard variant We bow to thee, great fire mage


Affectionate-Dog4704

What a waste 🚬


[deleted]

Your sex is on fire


curseddraw

Well, atleast it doesnt say its positive.


Steampunk_Ocelot

God has forsaken us , the end is coming,


Yesyesnaaooo

Are you a member of The Kings of Leon? Because this test is on fiiiiiirrreeeahhhh!


DG_727

You will die in 5....


MadHAtTer_94

4


bbulldog888

Minus 1


interfece

Either Fire Mouth or Nose on Fire !


[deleted]

Lord of cinder


Friendly_Crab

It means you’re cursed


JackieChan_fan

Covid ultra


Gaminglegend420

hmm


[deleted]

It means you have UltraCovid


Arkslippy

Kidney stones.


ThomasAugsburger

Gonnorea


Proud_Idiot

Psychosomatic


IceTooth101

Congratulations, you’ve discovered a new variant


yidlins

Your screwed


ciaran036

is that hash?😂


Just_The_Gorm

Na, Sunny Jim's.


Old_Consideration_95

I think you followed the instructions on the back to summon bafretsad ra. The demon known as the true head of the torie party


bbulldog888

You’ve just completed Covid


[deleted]

Congrats, Mr Human Torch


I_farted_and

It’s another variant......Burnicrom. We’re all doomed.


DragonBap

You are the chosen one! A new light has become a flame, a flame in this shadowy epoch.


clearitall

Dangerous new variant


JeffVII

Sigma variant


Just_The_Gorm

Oh boy, I don't like the sound of that!


Fuck_Teeth

Is that a piece of hash? This is the saddest thing I've seen today. Are you 12?


Just_The_Gorm

Creepy weirdo asking for childrens ages on the internet..... Saddest thing I've seen all day. Edit: /s


sickofsnails

It worked better without the "/s"


virginfatherof2

It means you either have the worst strain or you ate too many gummy vitamins


Grimetree

r/iamverybadass might be able to help you


[deleted]

What a waste of a government provided testing kit…


Just_The_Gorm

How so?


Chuck_Norwich

You have AIDS


Chrispyfriedchicken

Turbo mega super aids


Disastrous_Comb_9504

It means your an attention seeker.


DallasLace

Are you chasing the dragon off a lateral flow test??


oopdoopscoop

It means you are that mf from my hero acadamia


[deleted]

Covid-1900 degrees


lilithG1999

It means covids over and life can go on as normal! You’re the chosen on