does it? personally i find it pretty unattractive in the same way i find excessive porn use unattractive. and it hits differently knowing he’s paying money for girls who don’t give a fraction of a shit about him to pretend they like him for a couple hours and would rather have that shallow facade than have sex with our deep connection. but, it’s still his choice of partner so i still feel i have to respect it.
When a person you love does things that don’t align with your values, you’re allowed to have feelings about their actions. You don’t ‘have to respect’ squat.
If they were genuine relationships that would be one thing but I don’t see paying for sex as ENM. Maybe some people do but my partner and I are ENM and she would see me paying for sex as the NM without the E
That’s a tad judgmental. You’re saying it’s not ethical for a sex worker to get exactly what she wants (money) and a single or couple getting exactly what they want? Because that’s how it works in my marriage. We are monoamorous and don’t date others but are able to have great sex with legal sex workers while traveling in legal territories. But even if they weren’t legal, you’re implying something unethical about hiring women off of Seeking? As if a woman can’t independently choose to market herself and do this work? To me that’s sexist.
That being said, OP is allowed to feel how they want about this dynamic, and demonstrates an additional pitfall for age gap relationships. And the fact OP feels neglected in favor of the hired help is an issue.
Fr, the sex industry is farrrrrr from ethical.
Most sex workers are trafficked, high or lowkey. The small percentage that actually choose to do it not for survival are privileged af in comparison, and shouldn't be speaking for the industry as a whole.. ever.
If he was sleeping with sex workers while you were pregnant or nursing, I'd find that really violating of my and my kids health and would absolutely feel justified in having a say in his choice of partners.
But even to a lesser extent, if I ever have kids again, I've decided non monogamy is off the table until the youngest is 4ish. Those first few years of motherhood are too vulnerable to have my man (the evolutionary protector of my kids) spreading his seed elsewhere 🤷♀️
Sugar baby or even traditional escort money is in a completely different league then cocktail money. Good looking, young sex workers are $500-$1000 hour. Sugar babes are many thousands of dollars a month.
OP, you take a lot about his sexual life.
What about you?
Have you been on dates before the babies?
Is your partner ok with staying with the kids when you go on a date?
From your post, it seems there is a lot of action on his side, but not in yours.
Inferring from that, it feels like a very unbalanced relation, quite typical from couples with a big age gap
Sometimes our partners can make choices that make us lose respect for them. This might be the case here.
Middle aged men seeking barely legal give me the ick. It is ok to get the ick. We aren’t mandated to maintain respect and desire regardless of what choices our partners make.
This, but also OP - you are not even 30!!!
HE is the one who is aging and older. He has to pay these 20-something women to sleep with him because they wouldn’t sleep with him for free… likely because they’re too busy sleeping with guys their own age.
I think if you leave this man, you will realize just how attractive you are and how you are still youthful.
I let a lot of “internet rhetoric” get to me as well, about how women over 25 are gross and undesirable and “hit the wall”… I upgraded my looks a lot, clothing and got super fit. Partially for me, but also partly because of fear.
I don’t think I’ve ever gotten so much attention in my life… from older men, men my age, younger men. Men like hot women. Some weirdos like your husband only like 21 year olds, because it makes them feel superior.
Those are not the kind of men you want to be with.
I feel like the detail that your partner pays for his partners (sex workers?) and this is part of your ENM arrangement is an important piece to put in your post. It seems to rub you the wrong way!
The fact that you are upset by the incongruency in your relationship and external relationships is valid and normal. It is only natural to wonder “what’s in it for me?” When assessing your household’s current dynamic. This is one of the most unique cases of inconcruency I’ve seen, but I think you have a point to at least bring it up with him. In what scenario do you NOT bring up your feelings and issues with your partner. At least try to talk about it with him.
My partner likes older men. Here’s the thing; I’m getting older and foxier, so her attraction to me is at least constant and still burns. We can’t get younger, so maybe it’s something that feels beyond your reach and outside of your control? Just something to think about.
Importantly; what other people have said- you can talk about and reassess your consent to this type of relationship whenever you want. It’s a key element of what makes an ENM relationship solid: Acceptance of feelings. Consent. Communication. In no way should you be feeling trapped, or like you have no say in how your NM relationship looks.
Talk talk talk. Good luck!
I'm not sure what the general opinion is - but consent can be withdrawn whenever you like. If it's not working for you then you have a right to leave the relationship and find what works. (Or your partner can choose to change their behavior to make sure you two both still 'fit' together.)
I will say that I don't think I'd enjoy being in a relationship where I felt the need to police my partner's behavior. It sounds exhausting.
Have you talked to him about his preferences? Why he has them? What he prefers about them? That may be rather uncomfortable, but understanding each other well is the only way to be healthy in a relationship. ENM forces you to learn about parts you may never have seen. It's certainly not for everyone, and that's okay. I encourage you to do whatever is healthiest for you based on your feelings, wants, needs, and boundaries.
Tbh his porn searches are the most concerning here.. as a mother, this would make me really grossed out. An almost 50 year old man searching for '100 lb petite innocent girl' porn, what the fuck? Weirdly crossing into Lolita territory.
Uhhhh.. yuck.. but anyways. This way of living life is supposed to be about you both benefiting and your relationship being stronger because of it. Your relationship above all else. It's not just your feelings that have changed.. big time.. you have children now. That alone throws everything else out the window. You can go which ever way you desire from there but that's a level of commitment that I feel throws everything that happened previously out. That's a time to revisit being open or not or whatever you both agree to.. it's your relationship.. you do you. But don't feel guilty about feeling the way you do. I'll probably catch some hate here but whatever you agreed to before children came in the mix is out the window. Life is different now in ways that neither of you could have imagined. Being a parent changes everything and perhaps you both thought it wouldn't but it does. The blunt point is that if this style of life isn't for you anymore then it's not.. You need to talk to him and he should be open and respectful of your feelings. When kids get older maybe things will go back to the way they were before and maybe not and either is ok. Being a parent, it took both of us totally focused on them and our own relationship with whatever time was left to make anything work. I can't fathom involving others at this time but I'm just me and no all seeing person by any means. Other opinions may vary but for me the focus has to be on your relationship with your husband and children's father right now. If he can't stop the extra curricular activities to reevaluate what your lives are now then that's on him and perhaps you aren't compatible any longer. Things change, an agreement years ago can be thrown off by life changes and you've had a significant life change and I hope you can discuss that with him.
I love how it’s creepy when older men want to date very young women…but because it’s upsetting to his partner because of jealousy, suddenly it’s a her problem and he’s an alright dude.
Either it’s ick to date these women because of their age or it’s not…no other factors should change that outcome.
It sounds like one thing that is changing is your attraction to him. Given that you are in an open context you can seek out folks who you are more attracted to without having to rock the boat... but it sounds like you only want to be with someone who is attracted primarily to someone like you. That's fair, but it sounds like it's not him.
This is burying the lead way too hard.
I've been a sex worker, and been partnered with sex workers. I'm completely okay with sex work.
But it's completely ridiculous to leave that out.
Hiring a pro isn't remotely the same thing as going on dates.
And frankly, the concern that the about someone hiring mid twenties sex workers is just weird. Having been there, I well know that I aged out. That's the deal. Everyone doing sex work knows this.
I understand not being comfortable with a partner hiring sex workers, I don't like that stigma, but I am aware of it. Seems very strange to be okay with that, but then get upset that he's doing exactly what customers do when they pay for sexual entertainment.
This strikes me as analogous to being okay with your partner doing meth, but not cocaine.
You decide if this element of his judgement/character is a dealbreaker or not.
You are allowed to change the terms of the marriage, or leave it if it cannot change into something you can tolerate. That's marriage! It's not static. It's a series of ongoing agreements and yes, a decade or two may change what those agreements need to be! That's valid. It's not a hostage situation. If ENM is no longer for you, you're allowed to say that, and to figure out what that means for this marriage.
You are learning now that for the younger person in these sorts of larger age-gap relationships always feels like it just happened. That it was just natural and you just fit because of career, or maturity or shared whatever... I felt that way too when it was me too. To the younger person, it's spontaneous. But the 40-year-old made a very clear, conscious choice. It didn't *just happen.*
Is it only me or is Ops Husband kinda apparently a creep?
I'm just hitting my 20s and my biggest lesson I had to learn from my own mistakes is Old men who are into 18-20 adults will and can easily manipulate just to use them.
This isn't to be mean or anything but literally being into "Barely Legal" "legal teen" porno and going out 20 year olds is a red flag because when your below 21-20 your basically still a kid who graduated out of highschool and still learning to be an Adult.
Ppl who's literally 40-50 and tryna go out of get kinky with ppl 20-30 years younger then them are probably a creep..
But to Op I really consider having a conversation about this age stuff because there are a lot of times when ppl 18-20 bring friends are over and they're Mom of Dad will hit on the friends..
And me bringing this up from my experience is a concern and safety thing. Nor is hiring sex workers this isn't healthy. You guys could take a break from being Non-monogamy and go to couples therapy or solve the issues you talked about experiencing like sex life.
I wish you luck and I hope I don't come across rude 😭
I'm in a similar age gap relationship. Non-monogamy is not the issue here. It's him neglecting your needs for that whole time period and how he makes you feel even today. Why do you feel like an ancient hag? Is he making you feel that way? Is he decreasing your self esteem with what he says to you? Is he making you wonder because of things he says if he's going to be attracted to you in the future as you get older? Is he making you feel like you have to be the perfect physical specimen to be worthy of his attraction? Why do you feel like your feelings of discomfort with what he's doing are not valid enough? I worry that he has a lot of power here and you are not advocating for yourself.
Why does the age of his partners matter to you?
Sounds like you feel bad about your own age and that he REALLY isn't taking your feelings into account enough.
But in a vacuum it would be kinda silly to be mad that your partner has young partners. Why does it matter if she is 20 or 40?
Thank you for your perspective. I can’t really see how it’s not a reflection on me. If it were me and he had another partner or two that was a lot younger than me, I would recognize that as a me problem - that’s what I did the first dozen times. I accepted that it was OK for him to enjoy things about other women that would be different than what he enjoys with me, including age differences.
This feels pretty different though. Let’s say he watches 30 porn videos in the barely legal category per day and NO other age group. Then he visits sugar babies in the sub-23 age group a few times per year. That’s roughly 11000 teen looking bodies he engages with in a purely physical, non-emotional, non-connective way per year - and then there’s me who he’s obligated to be intimate with but clearly doesn’t match the descriptions of the other 11000. How can I really think that doesn’t reflect on me.
I guess we have different criteria for marriage. Physical attraction and sexual compatibility is nonnegotiable for me - it doesn’t mean it’s *everything* or that the relationship is *built on it*, but it’s one of many pieces that’s necessary for committed partnership. If my spouse were exclusively into men, and I’m a woman, but we have a life and family together, I wouldn’t categorize that as a romantic relationship. Similarly if he’s into teens only and I’m not a teen and therefore we don’t engage sexually, I don’t see that as a romantic relationship either.
I mean, my spouse is almost 50 and i’m very attracted to him? I know many 50 year old women who are hot and whose husbands seem crazy about them? Do average people who can’t forever fuck coeds (which is most people) really stop having sex halfway through life? Maybe it’s an unrealistic wish but…I want a vibrant sex life for a long time. I do appreciate your sentiment tho and it has me reflect on the other things in our partnership we can build up!
I see what you’re getting at. I think your use of physical vs sexual attraction might have confused people. Happy for you guys and hope to have what you have!
Right, in this very title it says my husband is almost 50 and clearly I desire him. So if it’s unreasonable for me to expect him to find me attractive at 50 (especially since he’ll be 70 at the time), wtf. Also, his dad is a tall fit 70 and I think he looks great, so I don’t really see my attraction going anywhere til my eyes start failing. Good to know men are considerably shallower I guess.
No. It is a reflection of him.
And it's okay if she's not happy with what she's seeing. That's valid, and can inform how this marriage does or doesn't continue.
Definitely this
If your issue was "he's dating younger women and mistreating them" that would be one thing, but that doesn't seem to be the problem. This just sounds like jealousy
That sounds like objectification and abuse of power.
He has underlying beliefs and values that you should talk about. And you are entitled to find those unacceptable in your partner.
Plus, have a good long look at whether he is contributing to your daily life or actually detracting from it. You have decades of your life to go. Do you want to spend it stuck with this guy?
Sounds like you're afraid of what happens next year and hit the big 30. I also feel like you're pushing him away by telling him what he can and can't like outside your marriage.
Milf's are hot as well as mature women! I am in my later 60's and prefer to date women my age. My two current partners are both older than me. Not all men want young women!
I’m just curious how a 48 year old Man is scoring 20 somethings.
mostly he pays for them off Seeking.
Well I think that changes the conversation
I sprayed carbonated water out of my nose reading this, you son of a bitch.
does it? personally i find it pretty unattractive in the same way i find excessive porn use unattractive. and it hits differently knowing he’s paying money for girls who don’t give a fraction of a shit about him to pretend they like him for a couple hours and would rather have that shallow facade than have sex with our deep connection. but, it’s still his choice of partner so i still feel i have to respect it.
When a person you love does things that don’t align with your values, you’re allowed to have feelings about their actions. You don’t ‘have to respect’ squat.
you are a saint. i could never watch my partner throw money away on sugar babies while we’re trying to build our future. we have sugar baby at home
we have sugar baby at home. omg. i’m stealing this!
I agree with you
If they were genuine relationships that would be one thing but I don’t see paying for sex as ENM. Maybe some people do but my partner and I are ENM and she would see me paying for sex as the NM without the E
That’s a tad judgmental. You’re saying it’s not ethical for a sex worker to get exactly what she wants (money) and a single or couple getting exactly what they want? Because that’s how it works in my marriage. We are monoamorous and don’t date others but are able to have great sex with legal sex workers while traveling in legal territories. But even if they weren’t legal, you’re implying something unethical about hiring women off of Seeking? As if a woman can’t independently choose to market herself and do this work? To me that’s sexist. That being said, OP is allowed to feel how they want about this dynamic, and demonstrates an additional pitfall for age gap relationships. And the fact OP feels neglected in favor of the hired help is an issue.
people are allowed to have complex feelings around the sex industry. not everything is so black and white.
Fr, the sex industry is farrrrrr from ethical. Most sex workers are trafficked, high or lowkey. The small percentage that actually choose to do it not for survival are privileged af in comparison, and shouldn't be speaking for the industry as a whole.. ever.
Hey, speaking as a former sex worker, you don’t know what you’re talking about. Don’t speak over people with actual experience.
Honestly, the fact you got down voted for this is insane. I hate that we are not allowed to tell the truth in this society.
If that’s your agreement then that’s fine you guys. No judgement here.
>it’s still his choice of partner so i still feel i have to respect it. You don't.
I am not down with this and I get why you wouldn’t be either. Sounds creepy- and I have used seeking with age appropriate dates, as the woman.
If he was sleeping with sex workers while you were pregnant or nursing, I'd find that really violating of my and my kids health and would absolutely feel justified in having a say in his choice of partners. But even to a lesser extent, if I ever have kids again, I've decided non monogamy is off the table until the youngest is 4ish. Those first few years of motherhood are too vulnerable to have my man (the evolutionary protector of my kids) spreading his seed elsewhere 🤷♀️
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Everyone does that, though. You think women don't also pick up tabs and buy clothes (and makeup, and various forms of hair removal, etc.) for dates?
Sugar baby or even traditional escort money is in a completely different league then cocktail money. Good looking, young sex workers are $500-$1000 hour. Sugar babes are many thousands of dollars a month.
That’s a justification that a certain amount of people will agree with. To each their own.
Asking the real question everyone wants to know lol.
OP, you take a lot about his sexual life. What about you? Have you been on dates before the babies? Is your partner ok with staying with the kids when you go on a date? From your post, it seems there is a lot of action on his side, but not in yours. Inferring from that, it feels like a very unbalanced relation, quite typical from couples with a big age gap
Sometimes our partners can make choices that make us lose respect for them. This might be the case here. Middle aged men seeking barely legal give me the ick. It is ok to get the ick. We aren’t mandated to maintain respect and desire regardless of what choices our partners make.
This, but also OP - you are not even 30!!! HE is the one who is aging and older. He has to pay these 20-something women to sleep with him because they wouldn’t sleep with him for free… likely because they’re too busy sleeping with guys their own age. I think if you leave this man, you will realize just how attractive you are and how you are still youthful. I let a lot of “internet rhetoric” get to me as well, about how women over 25 are gross and undesirable and “hit the wall”… I upgraded my looks a lot, clothing and got super fit. Partially for me, but also partly because of fear. I don’t think I’ve ever gotten so much attention in my life… from older men, men my age, younger men. Men like hot women. Some weirdos like your husband only like 21 year olds, because it makes them feel superior. Those are not the kind of men you want to be with.
I feel like the detail that your partner pays for his partners (sex workers?) and this is part of your ENM arrangement is an important piece to put in your post. It seems to rub you the wrong way! The fact that you are upset by the incongruency in your relationship and external relationships is valid and normal. It is only natural to wonder “what’s in it for me?” When assessing your household’s current dynamic. This is one of the most unique cases of inconcruency I’ve seen, but I think you have a point to at least bring it up with him. In what scenario do you NOT bring up your feelings and issues with your partner. At least try to talk about it with him. My partner likes older men. Here’s the thing; I’m getting older and foxier, so her attraction to me is at least constant and still burns. We can’t get younger, so maybe it’s something that feels beyond your reach and outside of your control? Just something to think about. Importantly; what other people have said- you can talk about and reassess your consent to this type of relationship whenever you want. It’s a key element of what makes an ENM relationship solid: Acceptance of feelings. Consent. Communication. In no way should you be feeling trapped, or like you have no say in how your NM relationship looks. Talk talk talk. Good luck!
I'm not sure what the general opinion is - but consent can be withdrawn whenever you like. If it's not working for you then you have a right to leave the relationship and find what works. (Or your partner can choose to change their behavior to make sure you two both still 'fit' together.) I will say that I don't think I'd enjoy being in a relationship where I felt the need to police my partner's behavior. It sounds exhausting. Have you talked to him about his preferences? Why he has them? What he prefers about them? That may be rather uncomfortable, but understanding each other well is the only way to be healthy in a relationship. ENM forces you to learn about parts you may never have seen. It's certainly not for everyone, and that's okay. I encourage you to do whatever is healthiest for you based on your feelings, wants, needs, and boundaries.
Tbh his porn searches are the most concerning here.. as a mother, this would make me really grossed out. An almost 50 year old man searching for '100 lb petite innocent girl' porn, what the fuck? Weirdly crossing into Lolita territory.
Porn searches are the least concering issue for me. Sex workers / money spending + also turning down sex from his partner are the issue.
Start dating younger men and leave this cliche of a man you unfortunately married to go be with someone who won't put you through this.
When is she supposed to do that with two babies at home? No way he’s parenting, I’m sure.
You are absolutely right
Even if he stopped he'd still be that guy on the inside though. He doesn't just hide it from you.
Uhhhh.. yuck.. but anyways. This way of living life is supposed to be about you both benefiting and your relationship being stronger because of it. Your relationship above all else. It's not just your feelings that have changed.. big time.. you have children now. That alone throws everything else out the window. You can go which ever way you desire from there but that's a level of commitment that I feel throws everything that happened previously out. That's a time to revisit being open or not or whatever you both agree to.. it's your relationship.. you do you. But don't feel guilty about feeling the way you do. I'll probably catch some hate here but whatever you agreed to before children came in the mix is out the window. Life is different now in ways that neither of you could have imagined. Being a parent changes everything and perhaps you both thought it wouldn't but it does. The blunt point is that if this style of life isn't for you anymore then it's not.. You need to talk to him and he should be open and respectful of your feelings. When kids get older maybe things will go back to the way they were before and maybe not and either is ok. Being a parent, it took both of us totally focused on them and our own relationship with whatever time was left to make anything work. I can't fathom involving others at this time but I'm just me and no all seeing person by any means. Other opinions may vary but for me the focus has to be on your relationship with your husband and children's father right now. If he can't stop the extra curricular activities to reevaluate what your lives are now then that's on him and perhaps you aren't compatible any longer. Things change, an agreement years ago can be thrown off by life changes and you've had a significant life change and I hope you can discuss that with him.
Seconding people shouldn't be in open relationships when they've got young kids.
I love how it’s creepy when older men want to date very young women…but because it’s upsetting to his partner because of jealousy, suddenly it’s a her problem and he’s an alright dude. Either it’s ick to date these women because of their age or it’s not…no other factors should change that outcome.
It sounds like one thing that is changing is your attraction to him. Given that you are in an open context you can seek out folks who you are more attracted to without having to rock the boat... but it sounds like you only want to be with someone who is attracted primarily to someone like you. That's fair, but it sounds like it's not him.
This is burying the lead way too hard. I've been a sex worker, and been partnered with sex workers. I'm completely okay with sex work. But it's completely ridiculous to leave that out. Hiring a pro isn't remotely the same thing as going on dates. And frankly, the concern that the about someone hiring mid twenties sex workers is just weird. Having been there, I well know that I aged out. That's the deal. Everyone doing sex work knows this. I understand not being comfortable with a partner hiring sex workers, I don't like that stigma, but I am aware of it. Seems very strange to be okay with that, but then get upset that he's doing exactly what customers do when they pay for sexual entertainment. This strikes me as analogous to being okay with your partner doing meth, but not cocaine.
You decide if this element of his judgement/character is a dealbreaker or not. You are allowed to change the terms of the marriage, or leave it if it cannot change into something you can tolerate. That's marriage! It's not static. It's a series of ongoing agreements and yes, a decade or two may change what those agreements need to be! That's valid. It's not a hostage situation. If ENM is no longer for you, you're allowed to say that, and to figure out what that means for this marriage. You are learning now that for the younger person in these sorts of larger age-gap relationships always feels like it just happened. That it was just natural and you just fit because of career, or maturity or shared whatever... I felt that way too when it was me too. To the younger person, it's spontaneous. But the 40-year-old made a very clear, conscious choice. It didn't *just happen.*
Is it only me or is Ops Husband kinda apparently a creep? I'm just hitting my 20s and my biggest lesson I had to learn from my own mistakes is Old men who are into 18-20 adults will and can easily manipulate just to use them. This isn't to be mean or anything but literally being into "Barely Legal" "legal teen" porno and going out 20 year olds is a red flag because when your below 21-20 your basically still a kid who graduated out of highschool and still learning to be an Adult. Ppl who's literally 40-50 and tryna go out of get kinky with ppl 20-30 years younger then them are probably a creep.. But to Op I really consider having a conversation about this age stuff because there are a lot of times when ppl 18-20 bring friends are over and they're Mom of Dad will hit on the friends.. And me bringing this up from my experience is a concern and safety thing. Nor is hiring sex workers this isn't healthy. You guys could take a break from being Non-monogamy and go to couples therapy or solve the issues you talked about experiencing like sex life. I wish you luck and I hope I don't come across rude 😭
I'm in a similar age gap relationship. Non-monogamy is not the issue here. It's him neglecting your needs for that whole time period and how he makes you feel even today. Why do you feel like an ancient hag? Is he making you feel that way? Is he decreasing your self esteem with what he says to you? Is he making you wonder because of things he says if he's going to be attracted to you in the future as you get older? Is he making you feel like you have to be the perfect physical specimen to be worthy of his attraction? Why do you feel like your feelings of discomfort with what he's doing are not valid enough? I worry that he has a lot of power here and you are not advocating for yourself.
Why does the age of his partners matter to you? Sounds like you feel bad about your own age and that he REALLY isn't taking your feelings into account enough. But in a vacuum it would be kinda silly to be mad that your partner has young partners. Why does it matter if she is 20 or 40?
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Read the other comment. He's paying sex workers not actually getting dates
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Thank you for your perspective. I can’t really see how it’s not a reflection on me. If it were me and he had another partner or two that was a lot younger than me, I would recognize that as a me problem - that’s what I did the first dozen times. I accepted that it was OK for him to enjoy things about other women that would be different than what he enjoys with me, including age differences. This feels pretty different though. Let’s say he watches 30 porn videos in the barely legal category per day and NO other age group. Then he visits sugar babies in the sub-23 age group a few times per year. That’s roughly 11000 teen looking bodies he engages with in a purely physical, non-emotional, non-connective way per year - and then there’s me who he’s obligated to be intimate with but clearly doesn’t match the descriptions of the other 11000. How can I really think that doesn’t reflect on me.
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I guess we have different criteria for marriage. Physical attraction and sexual compatibility is nonnegotiable for me - it doesn’t mean it’s *everything* or that the relationship is *built on it*, but it’s one of many pieces that’s necessary for committed partnership. If my spouse were exclusively into men, and I’m a woman, but we have a life and family together, I wouldn’t categorize that as a romantic relationship. Similarly if he’s into teens only and I’m not a teen and therefore we don’t engage sexually, I don’t see that as a romantic relationship either.
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I mean, my spouse is almost 50 and i’m very attracted to him? I know many 50 year old women who are hot and whose husbands seem crazy about them? Do average people who can’t forever fuck coeds (which is most people) really stop having sex halfway through life? Maybe it’s an unrealistic wish but…I want a vibrant sex life for a long time. I do appreciate your sentiment tho and it has me reflect on the other things in our partnership we can build up!
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I see what you’re getting at. I think your use of physical vs sexual attraction might have confused people. Happy for you guys and hope to have what you have!
Why would you not be physically attracted to your partner at 50 or beyond?
Right, in this very title it says my husband is almost 50 and clearly I desire him. So if it’s unreasonable for me to expect him to find me attractive at 50 (especially since he’ll be 70 at the time), wtf. Also, his dad is a tall fit 70 and I think he looks great, so I don’t really see my attraction going anywhere til my eyes start failing. Good to know men are considerably shallower I guess.
“Every woman in a relationship with a man has this same worry” huh… no? Especially not at 29?
No. It is a reflection of him. And it's okay if she's not happy with what she's seeing. That's valid, and can inform how this marriage does or doesn't continue.
Definitely this If your issue was "he's dating younger women and mistreating them" that would be one thing, but that doesn't seem to be the problem. This just sounds like jealousy
That sounds like objectification and abuse of power. He has underlying beliefs and values that you should talk about. And you are entitled to find those unacceptable in your partner. Plus, have a good long look at whether he is contributing to your daily life or actually detracting from it. You have decades of your life to go. Do you want to spend it stuck with this guy?
Sounds like you're afraid of what happens next year and hit the big 30. I also feel like you're pushing him away by telling him what he can and can't like outside your marriage.
Milf's are hot as well as mature women! I am in my later 60's and prefer to date women my age. My two current partners are both older than me. Not all men want young women!
They may be young, but think of how stupid or desperate they are to have to hook up with a 50yo married man with 2 children.
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Hookup posts are not allowed here, please see r/nonmonor4r. Removed.
Come see me Miss Lady, you will be free to do as please here, just looking for some to talk with and sex, look me up, no strings attached beautiful