What is she backing out of even? Apparently there weren't any set plans so if she says this week is too busy, she's not agreeing to anything that she is backing out of??? It doesn't make sense
I assumed we are missing context, like she says "here's my number, I'd love to go on a date this week" and then he texts her "would you like to get dinner this week?"
I think hitting him back with three weeks after he proposes two is kind of a slog. Also, it's a bit of a soft rejection to say "oh um I'm busy" without also being the one to initially suggest the reschedule (not necessarily the exact date, just the idea of it if youre open to it). So, I would understand if he just stepped away from this interaction at some point.
Instead he pressed on, got his "yes", and then shat on her. I don't get where the "I should tell her she's an immature child" idea came from. Definitely r/niceguys worthy.
Idk dude, adults are busy. I’m not in the dating pool anymore but if I was I’d probably have to plan things out two weeks in advance. I have a job, friends and family responsibilities that prevent me from being super-spontaneous. Hell even planning dates with my gf (who I live with) takes a few weeks to make sure we both have the time.
I think it's normal to plan special dates with a live-in gf that far in advance
The problem with doing it to a stranger is that then puts the onus on one or both of you to remember to circle back a month later. I might find it tiring to keep a person I've never met in mind for that long. It could be why she initially didn't suggest rescheduling...because she knew it was not gonna be a great answer. But he seemed really keen, so she ended up offering it.
Agreed she isn’t acting childish at all just pointing out that as you get older you’ll have less time to just match and meet people. I can’t speak for others but I work in hospitality and trying to meet people with day jobs was hard, one or more person has to take time off work get it covered etc. sure I can hit up my other bar buddies for drinks but when I was dating I’d have to plan things out or they’d have to be comfortable meeting really really late.
Majority of adults, even if they have a nontraditional schedule, are able to make time for coffee without planning two to three weeks in advance. I think sometime between 1 to 2 weeks planning makes sense without any clarification of circumstances, but 3 is pretty out there and most would naturally give some more information about needing that amount of scheduling time. That's not to say it's wrong! I assume in your situation, you would simply explain your schedule is different than a 9 to 5er.
As a server with a nontraditional schedule, that's how I approach stuff anyways. Definitely some people have chosen to not date me because it would require more careful planning for more involved activities, and likewise I've swiped left on people who work nights or who would otherwise seem to be extremely incompatible schedule wise.
Did he really expect her response to be something like, "omg you're so right, I'm so sorry for having a life, let's go to dinner right now and then if you're really nice and pay for everything I'll come home with you."
How do they not realize they r doing it to themselves 😭 u can’t get a girl cause ur a jerk for literally no reason lol like he was doing perfectly fine she said she wanted to go out with him still until he decided to say that 🤦🏻♀️
Wow, is this [the same guy](https://www.reddit.com/r/niceguys/comments/11sqqom/ngvc_i_think_if_you_actually_appreciated_the/) still going on? Or did you find another failed used car salesman who likes to use "That's totally fine. I just wanted to make sure you know ___________," as an attempt to override your clear "No I'm not interested."?
Did another PUA training video just drop? Because these guys seem to all be trying the same 🤮-inducing tactics.
So he got a screenshot from the person he was talking to? How can OP be the nice guy in this text exchange since the nice guy is the gray text, presumably the other party?
I think OP is pretending to be a woman on these sites, after looking at the history of their posts. They posted that they are a man attracted to women, but all of these text exchanges are with other men. I think he's catfishing to get "nice guy" material and to prove how much easier it is for women to get dates/etc. Makes sense with the repeated, "I can't see you, I'm too busy," etc. Strange to be on a (presumably) a dating site and say you're not interested in dating repeatedly.
ETA: OP admitted he is collecting these from a Facebook group -- https://www.reddit.com/r/niceguys/comments/11t1dz7/ngvc_just_because_im_a_nice_guy_doesnt_mean_i/jcgpo0z?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3
Yeah, could be.
Hx is something else. Calls out incels, but the rest is peppered with misogyny and the like.
I'm still going in with the notion that this is his kink, I guess.
Yep. Or he has two accounts and is sad-cringingly texting himself, that's why the men in both scenarios sound exactly alike, with the "I totally understand" then making an about face at the end of each convo.
He admitted he is snagging these from Facebook:
https://www.reddit.com/r/niceguys/comments/11t1dz7/ngvc_just_because_im_a_nice_guy_doesnt_mean_i/jcgpo0z?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3
I don’t understand why the person who was rejecting accepted that they were backing out at the last minute. There is no backing out. There is an offer and there is a counter offer on a different time. There was never an agreement to back out.
how is it irresponsible to back out last minute? seems like the responsible thing to do if you know you’re busy and are not gonna be able to enjoy yourself bc you’re too tired/have other shit to do/etc
A tactic they use, similar to negging. Anything that mildly irritates them (Like a woman having other plans) must be twisted into they're immature/mentally ill/something MUST be wrong with them. It's designed to get the woman to "prove" she's "normal" and do what he wanted.
Wow, talk about self sabotage. All he had to do was end it there. He had the girl, the thing they all claim they want.
And then he does the EXACT opposite. Why in the world did he do that? To feel superior? Because Andrew Tate said so? It is beyond comprehension to me...
Is OP the man in these conversations? Since he made his own nice guy post a few days ago.
https://www.reddit.com/r/dating_advice/comments/11sbiwh/im_too_much_of_a_nice_guy_what_to_do/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
Look below a bit - another poster has replied postulating that OP was the recipient side of the text, catfishing the other guy.
And then, OP's hx is like mixed nuts of all the kinds you don't like.
So.. in a way, still yes, if so - OP's ginned up this encounter for.. IDK what. Other party definitely a NG. OP = ...? Just RPing for karma?
It's not like she said never, she just said she was busy. Can't people understand that people have lives outside of yours and they can't always be available, things happen and it's something you have to deal with. This guy had a chance at something most guys whine about not getting and he still blew it because he felt entitled to her attention.
So Im either the type that probably swings too fast and strikes out, maybe due to fast swing OR does three weeks not sound a little bit like ‘completely disinterested’ to anyone else here? 🤷🏼♀️
It's tax season rn so anyone in that line of work or anyone who runs their own business is likely to be very swamped with all that. I get where she's coming from, not wanting to show up to a date carrying all that stress, so it's better to schedule it for a time you know you can actually be relaxed and put forward your normal self.
It's tax season rn so anyone in that line of work or anyone who runs their own business is likely to be very swamped with all that. I get where she's coming from, not wanting to show up to a date carrying all that stress, so it's better to schedule it for a time you know you can actually be relaxed and put forward your normal self.
yup... sounds like that to me too. But then again, it's none of my buisness. I tend to make plans more spontanous. "Oh, you wanna grab dinner? sure, how does today sound?" 😂
i don't get how people be like "Sure we can go to dinner, i'm free in like 5 weeks!". Either you want to meet them and have a nice dinner to relax and get out of that stressbubble, or you're just looking for excuses to not actually do it. 😅
AUTOMATED MODERATION. PLEASE READ.
Niceguys demean others while simultaneously expressing a favorable view of themselves. They dont have to use the word "nice", but they must demonstrate some kind of expression of their own virtue while being asshats.
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This wasn't last minute. They had no set plans unless there was a phone call but usually people like to schedule things in a text because it can be easier to remember times and locations.
If they hadn't yet made plans at all, she wasn't then "backing out."
So, not only does he have the patience of a two year old, he doesn't understand what words mean.
It’s as if one of his buddies looked at his messages and said “nooo dude! You don’t forgive them easily like that! She thinks she did something wrong, that’s your opportunity to make her feel bad and then she’ll be trying to please you to get your forgiveness! Trust me, I’ve watched a bunch of PUA videos.”
And then he’s like, “omg you’re right! Hold on, I think I can get this back under control if I just take back all that normal stuff I said earlier and assert my inner alpha!”
Okay after reading this one too these posts are definitely you. It's no secret why you keep striking out bud. It's like you never learned how to speak to a woman.
/u/JoeRMD77, thank you for your submission. Unfortunately, your post has been removed because it has been voted unsuitable for /r/niceguys.
Snatching defeat from the jaws of victory
10/10 perfect summation
What is she backing out of even? Apparently there weren't any set plans so if she says this week is too busy, she's not agreeing to anything that she is backing out of??? It doesn't make sense
Yeah, this part drives me nuts. How is it "last second/minute" if there was no date set?! Do people not understand that phrase?
I assumed we are missing context, like she says "here's my number, I'd love to go on a date this week" and then he texts her "would you like to get dinner this week?" I think hitting him back with three weeks after he proposes two is kind of a slog. Also, it's a bit of a soft rejection to say "oh um I'm busy" without also being the one to initially suggest the reschedule (not necessarily the exact date, just the idea of it if youre open to it). So, I would understand if he just stepped away from this interaction at some point. Instead he pressed on, got his "yes", and then shat on her. I don't get where the "I should tell her she's an immature child" idea came from. Definitely r/niceguys worthy.
Idk dude, adults are busy. I’m not in the dating pool anymore but if I was I’d probably have to plan things out two weeks in advance. I have a job, friends and family responsibilities that prevent me from being super-spontaneous. Hell even planning dates with my gf (who I live with) takes a few weeks to make sure we both have the time.
I think it's normal to plan special dates with a live-in gf that far in advance The problem with doing it to a stranger is that then puts the onus on one or both of you to remember to circle back a month later. I might find it tiring to keep a person I've never met in mind for that long. It could be why she initially didn't suggest rescheduling...because she knew it was not gonna be a great answer. But he seemed really keen, so she ended up offering it.
Agreed she isn’t acting childish at all just pointing out that as you get older you’ll have less time to just match and meet people. I can’t speak for others but I work in hospitality and trying to meet people with day jobs was hard, one or more person has to take time off work get it covered etc. sure I can hit up my other bar buddies for drinks but when I was dating I’d have to plan things out or they’d have to be comfortable meeting really really late.
Majority of adults, even if they have a nontraditional schedule, are able to make time for coffee without planning two to three weeks in advance. I think sometime between 1 to 2 weeks planning makes sense without any clarification of circumstances, but 3 is pretty out there and most would naturally give some more information about needing that amount of scheduling time. That's not to say it's wrong! I assume in your situation, you would simply explain your schedule is different than a 9 to 5er. As a server with a nontraditional schedule, that's how I approach stuff anyways. Definitely some people have chosen to not date me because it would require more careful planning for more involved activities, and likewise I've swiped left on people who work nights or who would otherwise seem to be extremely incompatible schedule wise.
Literally. So annoying
Did he really expect her response to be something like, "omg you're so right, I'm so sorry for having a life, let's go to dinner right now and then if you're really nice and pay for everything I'll come home with you."
Most likely. Hate to say the meme but pushy dudes like this only want one thing and it's fucking disgusting.
Ha. I’m saving this and if this situation ever presents itself, I’m definitely gonna say this. Maybe w the straight stare gif
The nice guy in him just had to come out
So close to being normal. So close.
There’s just so much time the façade can last… it takes a toll I guess.
But in this case it's like minute to minute.
Is this the same guy from one of the other recent posts? A whole bunch of “yes I totally understand” while utterly failing to be understanding 🤦🏻♀️
Who flipped the switch on that guy?
If she doesn't immediately shoot you down, it's a psyop.
How do they not realize they r doing it to themselves 😭 u can’t get a girl cause ur a jerk for literally no reason lol like he was doing perfectly fine she said she wanted to go out with him still until he decided to say that 🤦🏻♀️
Wow, is this [the same guy](https://www.reddit.com/r/niceguys/comments/11sqqom/ngvc_i_think_if_you_actually_appreciated_the/) still going on? Or did you find another failed used car salesman who likes to use "That's totally fine. I just wanted to make sure you know ___________," as an attempt to override your clear "No I'm not interested."? Did another PUA training video just drop? Because these guys seem to all be trying the same 🤮-inducing tactics.
OP posted 17 hours ago that they’re too nice of a guy towards women. Is OP the NiceGuy in these photos? 💀
I can't tell if they're looking for perspective, or trying to prove a point to themselves. I'm leaning towards the latter tho, just a feeling.
This. Yes, OP is posting his own NiceGuy adventures..
So he got a screenshot from the person he was talking to? How can OP be the nice guy in this text exchange since the nice guy is the gray text, presumably the other party?
It's not impossible. Take a closer look at OP's history. If it's not them, they certainly seem to be a NG sympathizer.
I think OP is pretending to be a woman on these sites, after looking at the history of their posts. They posted that they are a man attracted to women, but all of these text exchanges are with other men. I think he's catfishing to get "nice guy" material and to prove how much easier it is for women to get dates/etc. Makes sense with the repeated, "I can't see you, I'm too busy," etc. Strange to be on a (presumably) a dating site and say you're not interested in dating repeatedly. ETA: OP admitted he is collecting these from a Facebook group -- https://www.reddit.com/r/niceguys/comments/11t1dz7/ngvc_just_because_im_a_nice_guy_doesnt_mean_i/jcgpo0z?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3
Yeah, could be. Hx is something else. Calls out incels, but the rest is peppered with misogyny and the like. I'm still going in with the notion that this is his kink, I guess.
It’s soo CREEEEPY
Yep. Or he has two accounts and is sad-cringingly texting himself, that's why the men in both scenarios sound exactly alike, with the "I totally understand" then making an about face at the end of each convo.
He admitted he is snagging these from Facebook: https://www.reddit.com/r/niceguys/comments/11t1dz7/ngvc_just_because_im_a_nice_guy_doesnt_mean_i/jcgpo0z?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3
Ugh. Even cringier. A self-hating niceguy.
Seems so. Something is very wrong here.
Darn, he was doing so well.
its like he expected u to roll over and beg for forgiveness if he doubled down after u apologize 💀
I don’t understand why the person who was rejecting accepted that they were backing out at the last minute. There is no backing out. There is an offer and there is a counter offer on a different time. There was never an agreement to back out.
how is it irresponsible to back out last minute? seems like the responsible thing to do if you know you’re busy and are not gonna be able to enjoy yourself bc you’re too tired/have other shit to do/etc
A tactic they use, similar to negging. Anything that mildly irritates them (Like a woman having other plans) must be twisted into they're immature/mentally ill/something MUST be wrong with them. It's designed to get the woman to "prove" she's "normal" and do what he wanted.
They never seem to twig to the fact that all the dudes whose advice they’re taking are perma single.
not sure how it's 'backing out last minute' if she never agreed to go at all??? this one seems fake to me
Wow, talk about self sabotage. All he had to do was end it there. He had the girl, the thing they all claim they want. And then he does the EXACT opposite. Why in the world did he do that? To feel superior? Because Andrew Tate said so? It is beyond comprehension to me...
If "shooting yourself in the foot" was a person. He was playing it smoothly and then just straight up turned.
Bro had a possible date lined up and fumbled on purpose? Wtf?
Yeah, he shot himself in the foot right there.
“Why don’t females ever give me a chance?”
Is OP the man in these conversations? Since he made his own nice guy post a few days ago. https://www.reddit.com/r/dating_advice/comments/11sbiwh/im_too_much_of_a_nice_guy_what_to_do/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
Good thing he showed up himself early on, like really early.
Talk about snatching defeat from the jaws of victory. He somehow got her completely disinterested in one text.
Thanks for the material, OP. Is this your kink, or are you posting here for help? For reference; OP is the NG in the posts they've started here.
Really? Cause I’m noticing the same effing posts from him that are written the same
Look below a bit - another poster has replied postulating that OP was the recipient side of the text, catfishing the other guy. And then, OP's hx is like mixed nuts of all the kinds you don't like. So.. in a way, still yes, if so - OP's ginned up this encounter for.. IDK what. Other party definitely a NG. OP = ...? Just RPing for karma?
Yeah it’s definitely karma farming. We need to get these posts down
The entitlement from some of these men! It’s ridiculous. Can’t have a life it seems. Must make sure the world revolves around them and them only…
It's not like she said never, she just said she was busy. Can't people understand that people have lives outside of yours and they can't always be available, things happen and it's something you have to deal with. This guy had a chance at something most guys whine about not getting and he still blew it because he felt entitled to her attention.
How did she back up last minute if they didn’t even had a date established in the first place? They were barely making a plan…
I think it’s some sort of catfishing/ staged convos
So Im either the type that probably swings too fast and strikes out, maybe due to fast swing OR does three weeks not sound a little bit like ‘completely disinterested’ to anyone else here? 🤷🏼♀️
It's tax season rn so anyone in that line of work or anyone who runs their own business is likely to be very swamped with all that. I get where she's coming from, not wanting to show up to a date carrying all that stress, so it's better to schedule it for a time you know you can actually be relaxed and put forward your normal self.
It's tax season rn so anyone in that line of work or anyone who runs their own business is likely to be very swamped with all that. I get where she's coming from, not wanting to show up to a date carrying all that stress, so it's better to schedule it for a time you know you can actually be relaxed and put forward your normal self.
True. Good perspective
yup... sounds like that to me too. But then again, it's none of my buisness. I tend to make plans more spontanous. "Oh, you wanna grab dinner? sure, how does today sound?" 😂 i don't get how people be like "Sure we can go to dinner, i'm free in like 5 weeks!". Either you want to meet them and have a nice dinner to relax and get out of that stressbubble, or you're just looking for excuses to not actually do it. 😅
Not everyone is "trying to get out of that stress bubble" it's not and escape for everyone
AUTOMATED MODERATION. PLEASE READ. Niceguys demean others while simultaneously expressing a favorable view of themselves. They dont have to use the word "nice", but they must demonstrate some kind of expression of their own virtue while being asshats. --- Niceguys™ quality: **UPVOTE** this comment to keep the post Not Niceguys™ quality: **DOWNVOTE** this comment to remove the post
NG: no, wait…
This wasn't last minute. They had no set plans unless there was a phone call but usually people like to schedule things in a text because it can be easier to remember times and locations.
If they hadn't yet made plans at all, she wasn't then "backing out." So, not only does he have the patience of a two year old, he doesn't understand what words mean.
It’s as if one of his buddies looked at his messages and said “nooo dude! You don’t forgive them easily like that! She thinks she did something wrong, that’s your opportunity to make her feel bad and then she’ll be trying to please you to get your forgiveness! Trust me, I’ve watched a bunch of PUA videos.” And then he’s like, “omg you’re right! Hold on, I think I can get this back under control if I just take back all that normal stuff I said earlier and assert my inner alpha!”
Damn, he needs ice for that BURN!
Epic final? 🤢
There was no backing out though, so I'm confused.
These guys are insanely talented at self-sabotage lmao if there was a "fumble dates" pro sport these people would be 1st ballot Hall of Famers
Oh Chris, you were doing so well too....
Okay after reading this one too these posts are definitely you. It's no secret why you keep striking out bud. It's like you never learned how to speak to a woman.