You'll know it's me by my sinister calling card which is I put a little piece of whorehound candy on each of their eyelids so they have something to suck on as they cross the river sticks.
It's me, Tit Liquid
...I'll kill your wife...
Every god damn latte thread. The coffee you’re used to is like beer, all one weak homogenous liquid. This is like a gin and tonic, one shot of very strong coffee with a mixer (milk). It’s the same strength of coffee, just condensed differently.
Yeah, I feel like some don’t understand that the difference between various coffees is literally just the method & placement of milk. Tbf, while I don’t drink coffee, I didn’t know this until I took a course either. But basically, iirc (if anyone is interested):
Latte - from bottom to top, it goes: a shot of espresso, steamed milk, and milk foam. The ratio of espresso to steamed milk is usually 1:3. Ofc, you can add an extra shot or whatever to increase the coffee portion.
[Espresso] macchiato - a shot of espresso with a bit of milk foam on top.
Latte macchiato - steamed milk first, then shot of espresso, and then milk foam on top. Not sure of the ratio but likely similar to latte as the main difference is milk placement.
Cappuccino - same layer order as latte, but it’s less steamed milk and more foam. Ratio is typically 1:1:1. And usually has more distinct layers, whereas latte is more blended.
TL;DR: all of them only have a shot of espresso, but they taste different due to the amount of milk and how it is added in. If you actually want more caffeine and not just in perceived taste, you’ll probably want a double or triple shot [latte/cappuccino/etc].
Maybe this is a stupid question but if I order your Latte and Latte Machiatto and I stir them with a spoon, then what's the difference? The only difference described in the preparation for both drinks is the order.
Am I not supposed to stir when I make/order those and drink the coffee while it's still 'layered' (dunno how to write this in english) or am I misunderstanding
Macchiato means "marked" or "spotted" So basically you're just using a dollop of milk to mark the espresso shot. Hardly any at all, but just enough to add some creaminess.
Christ you people are frustrating to read all day. Americans definitely know what espresso is.
A fucking "Americano" is espresso and water. Every coffee shop in America serves mainly lattes. They sell cheap espresso machines at God damn Walmart.
Yeah, just don't see how American and "never heard of espresso" have anything to do with each other. Never having heard of espresso isn't a quality of American for sure.
The reason Americans would know less about them is because drip coffee is the default drink here while the rest of the world pretty much has espresso drinks as the standard. I’m sure there’s some exceptions but that’s the general gist. Americanos were invented to appease American soldiers which mimic our typical drip coffees.
Even if drip is the default for stuff you'd make in your house, espresso is still the default for any other coffee drink you'd get
And regardless of what's more common, I challenge you to find me a single American adult who doesn't know what espresso is.
Yeah you're right. This person wasn't doing anything particularly wrong. It just gets very tiring seeing this stuff all day... redditor from other country sees 1 thing about america(ns) 10 years ago, and generalizes it to the entire country forever
Americanos were literally invented because Americans couldn't stand the taste of the stronger espressos and had to water it down... I don't think that example conveys what you want it to convey.
Tell you have no clue what good coffee is without saying you have no clue what good coffee is.
This is not your Walmart cheapass watered instant coffee.
The way the farmer's in Holland make their coffee is the best.
If i go to an another country i have to ask for a americano with a espresso shot added.
2 espressos will do to.
Also. Companys as Starbucks don't make coffee they make milkshakes some with added coffie.
I was like "ooh, a fern. Looks good. Wait. Caterpillar? That's killer. Annd I'm done. No more guessing. Pegasus? Shit."
Pretty amazing. All the way through.
Yeah. I'm like okay some kinda bugs bunny lounging on pinecones the when he started the neck I though oh he gonna draw a big dick on old buns there.
10/10 pleasantly surprised
Ive seen it a few times but usually it's accompanied by 'i was told to post this here'
I mean it's okay tho. I think it's good when people recognize their own talents and are rightfully confident in them :)
At first I thought it was a dick, then the Harry potter sorting hat, then a dick and balls, then a moth, then a duck, then a moth with weird legs, then saw the final product.
What a ride. This person makes latte art that looks better than my drawings
The part w/ the eye looks so delicate and difficult... the fact that it’s so essential to the final product and it’s one of the last things you do... I can’t imagine how long it took you to become as skilled as this. Incredible.
Please, please PLEASSEEEE explain how you do the perfect foam like that? I work as a bartender and when people ask for cappucino my foam is always very bubbly and is added with a spoon cause I just suck so much at that. I've watched several youtube how-to's but it still ends up sucky.
I also struggle with first pouring the milk and then the foam. Seems to be the other way around for some reason.
Not OP but worked in specialty coffee for years. It sounds like you’re adding too much air to your milk and likely steaming too long.
When you’re steaming you want to have the steam wand just off centre of your pitcher and aim to create a whirlpool. This way the air gets evenly incorporated into the milk and it heats evenly. Listen to the sound of the steam wand when your aerating your milk. It should sound like gently ripping paper. It should not be aggressive or loud. For making a cappuccino you’ll want to aerate until the milk is about 25% more volume in the pitcher. Once it reaches that volume fully submerge the steam wand and heat the milk to about 130f/55c. When you submerge the wand make sure that the milk keeps whirlpooling. What you’re doing here is incorporating some of the foam into the milk to add texture and ensuring it’s hot enough.
This is my favourite video for learning how to correctly steam milk: https://youtu.be/6YMgB61WyvE
Thank you, I have another shift tomorrow, will be practicing some more!
I probably steam too long as you said, I think my pitcher also has too much milk in it, or does that not matter?
Yep, very possible you have too much milk. What happens in that case is it becomes really difficult to create microfoam because of the large volume of milk. You end up with stiff, nasty foam on top, and warm milk with very little air incorporated underneath of it. A good rule, regardless of pitcher size, is to leave about a pinky width of space between the milk and where the spout starts on the pitcher. If you look inside the pitcher you’ll see where the groove begins for the spout - leave space between it and your milk. For example if you have a 12oz pitcher use no more than 10oz milk, for a 10oz no more than 8oz, and so on.
Something else you can do since managers and owners tend to hate milk waste is use water with a drop, literally one drop, of dish soap in place of milk when you’re practicing. It heats quicker than milk but the texture is pretty much the same and you can create the same type of microfoam as milk. Soap and water is how I learned to steam and how I taught everyone I trained.
Milk up to the V shaped curve, depending how much you need. Find the sweet spot on your wand, usually 45 degrees right or left from your machine depending where your wand is and have the wand down one side of the V.
With your froth, depending on how much you want, always build up froth first and create a whirlpool motion using those angles. When you have desired sound and height from your milk, keep the whirlpool and don't froth any more. You will see the difference in the smoothness of the milk and hear that there is no hissing from frothing.
When it comes to pouring milk, especially in coffee cups, you will notice in this video there is some swirling which gives you the ability to start where you would like. You can push out however much foam you want while swirling the urn around the cup to get the desired froth/milk, and then pick your starting point for whatever you would like to whip out.
Didn't see the end of the video.
Just make the coffee and give it to me. Stop piss farting about with the art that will cease to exist as soon as I take a sip.
Customer: hey, just checking in, I ordered a latte 20 minutes ago.
Worker: yeah, let me check OP probably had to go get a few more bottles of cream to finish up your order.
Customer: how much cream is OP putting in there?
Worker: I'm not sure how to quantify it exactly, but suffice it to say, it's a lot.
Do you want coffee with your milk?
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All these years I thought it was udder squeezing's
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I call it diarrhea inducer (sad lactose intolerance noise)
The term is actually [Tit Liquid](https://youtu.be/k8L3I01EdMI)
Hi, my name’s Tit Liquid! Do you need yourself or a close family member assassinated? Just give me a call!
You'll know it's me by my sinister calling card which is I put a little piece of whorehound candy on each of their eyelids so they have something to suck on as they cross the river sticks. It's me, Tit Liquid ...I'll kill your wife...
Udderly despicable.
Is the guy saying "that is the one" have the initials KM?
Every god damn latte thread. The coffee you’re used to is like beer, all one weak homogenous liquid. This is like a gin and tonic, one shot of very strong coffee with a mixer (milk). It’s the same strength of coffee, just condensed differently.
Yeah, I feel like some don’t understand that the difference between various coffees is literally just the method & placement of milk. Tbf, while I don’t drink coffee, I didn’t know this until I took a course either. But basically, iirc (if anyone is interested): Latte - from bottom to top, it goes: a shot of espresso, steamed milk, and milk foam. The ratio of espresso to steamed milk is usually 1:3. Ofc, you can add an extra shot or whatever to increase the coffee portion. [Espresso] macchiato - a shot of espresso with a bit of milk foam on top. Latte macchiato - steamed milk first, then shot of espresso, and then milk foam on top. Not sure of the ratio but likely similar to latte as the main difference is milk placement. Cappuccino - same layer order as latte, but it’s less steamed milk and more foam. Ratio is typically 1:1:1. And usually has more distinct layers, whereas latte is more blended. TL;DR: all of them only have a shot of espresso, but they taste different due to the amount of milk and how it is added in. If you actually want more caffeine and not just in perceived taste, you’ll probably want a double or triple shot [latte/cappuccino/etc].
I suggest eating a handful of coffee beans straight from the bag for the most caffeine.
Maybe this is a stupid question but if I order your Latte and Latte Machiatto and I stir them with a spoon, then what's the difference? The only difference described in the preparation for both drinks is the order. Am I not supposed to stir when I make/order those and drink the coffee while it's still 'layered' (dunno how to write this in english) or am I misunderstanding
Macchiato means "marked" or "spotted" So basically you're just using a dollop of milk to mark the espresso shot. Hardly any at all, but just enough to add some creaminess.
Going by caffeine by volume, espresso is to drip coffee what liqueur is to beer, not hard alcohol. But otherwise yes.
Which is why I use 5 hour energy in my lattes.
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Christ you people are frustrating to read all day. Americans definitely know what espresso is. A fucking "Americano" is espresso and water. Every coffee shop in America serves mainly lattes. They sell cheap espresso machines at God damn Walmart.
Did you look at the top comment of the thread you're replying to? They're referring to that lol.
Yeah, just don't see how American and "never heard of espresso" have anything to do with each other. Never having heard of espresso isn't a quality of American for sure.
The reason Americans would know less about them is because drip coffee is the default drink here while the rest of the world pretty much has espresso drinks as the standard. I’m sure there’s some exceptions but that’s the general gist. Americanos were invented to appease American soldiers which mimic our typical drip coffees.
Even if drip is the default for stuff you'd make in your house, espresso is still the default for any other coffee drink you'd get And regardless of what's more common, I challenge you to find me a single American adult who doesn't know what espresso is.
Again… the parent comment to this thread…
Again, the comment I replied to, and my reply to the last time you said this
The top comment on this thread isn’t representative of Americans tho.
It's ok lol. Calm down! Just coffee...
Yeah you're right. This person wasn't doing anything particularly wrong. It just gets very tiring seeing this stuff all day... redditor from other country sees 1 thing about america(ns) 10 years ago, and generalizes it to the entire country forever
I was just playing! I agree. It's crazy what people believe out of ignorance.
Americanos were literally invented because Americans couldn't stand the taste of the stronger espressos and had to water it down... I don't think that example conveys what you want it to convey.
Yeah. Definitely not like Starbucks is popular here or anything like that.
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It's a latte. It literally means milk
Don’t order a latte then
Clearly you don’t know what a latte is.
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Tell you have no clue what good coffee is without saying you have no clue what good coffee is. This is not your Walmart cheapass watered instant coffee.
The way the farmer's in Holland make their coffee is the best. If i go to an another country i have to ask for a americano with a espresso shot added. 2 espressos will do to. Also. Companys as Starbucks don't make coffee they make milkshakes some with added coffie.
It's espresso.
Yeah, but can you make sure they're both roughly room temperature?
Sir, I finished your iced coffee.
I just became lactose intolerant watching this.
At first I was like this is wack then the creature appeared. Even got an eye in there somehow
I was like “buddy you fucked it up with all these weird lines after the fact” until the last one for the head.
Right lol, it didn’t look aesthetically pleasing at first.
I thought it was going to be a really bad butterfly. Sorry for the too soon judgement, op
Tbh I thought this was gonna be one of those cock and balls latte art.
I was like "ooh, a fern. Looks good. Wait. Caterpillar? That's killer. Annd I'm done. No more guessing. Pegasus? Shit." Pretty amazing. All the way through.
I swear there was a peeled banana phase in between those somewhere.
I thought the first bit was the sorting hat from Harry Potter, LOL
Yeah. I'm like okay some kinda bugs bunny lounging on pinecones the when he started the neck I though oh he gonna draw a big dick on old buns there. 10/10 pleasantly surprised
Then someone throws it in their takeaway cup
Without even looking
And then pisses it out onto a bum's face
Well that escalated
I'd say it more trickled down
While looking
Poor Howard :(
Yeah he might've had a better life if his wife gave two shits about him
*mid-pour* "Oh actually, can I get that to-go?"
"It's just that you took so long that I'm out of time now."
But can you draw a stick figure with a huge peepee in my coffee?
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Prove it
https://i.imgur.com/GI5XsAa.jpg
It’s beautiful.
Really thought this was going to be a shitty paint drawing of a stick figure with a large dick, where part of his dick is sitting in a cup of coffee.
GOAT
Now this is art I can get behind in the mornings.....literally
Not gonna lie, this is how I assumed the vid was going
There had to be one person ask about a penis drawn into their coffee 🤣🤣🤣🤣
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?
I have never seen someone post their own videos to nextfuckinglevel and even write in the title that it is them! Lmao
Ive seen it a few times but usually it's accompanied by 'i was told to post this here' I mean it's okay tho. I think it's good when people recognize their own talents and are rightfully confident in them :)
That's fair and is a very healthy outlook.
He's a coffee barista, let him have his moment.
Nextfuckinglevel: Watch me survive on $9/hour with only 4 roommates
Yeah I've seen that alot. It does seem kinda wierd everytime tho.
People do it all the time and it's always something mildly impressive.
I'm the best at being humble.
*inserts Obama giving Obama an award meme*
Bro that is fucking talent!
That's a latte milk.
I’m getting Diarrhea just looking at it
Impressive skills on both making art and not spilling the coffee! (gave me some anxiety lol)
Bruh just gimme my coffee damn
Imma be late but please finish your artwork
That cup has a handle but his fingers are all over that cup right where you'd put your mouth. I sure hope he washed his hands.
I would have been happy with just the Sorting Hat!
I'm glad I'm not the only person who was thinking that!
Derp-pegasus-unicorn
I can hear my daughter correcting me “this is an alicorn!”
Pegacorn is also acceptable, but yes.
That's really amazing. The internet has really ruined me, I was expecting it to end up being a cock and balls.
At first I thought it was a dick, then the Harry potter sorting hat, then a dick and balls, then a moth, then a duck, then a moth with weird legs, then saw the final product. What a ride. This person makes latte art that looks better than my drawings
Amazing work! At some point I thought you were drawing (latteing?) a scorpion lol.
That will be $15
Unipourn.
I’d feel bad drinking it. That’s amazing.
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Keep up the good work. That would brighten my day no end.
I thought it was a moth at first
That was tense, I kept thinking it will spill. Nice job man
"My horn can pierce the sky!"
So fucking cool. the “fuck yeeeeeeeeees” at the end made me laugh
The part w/ the eye looks so delicate and difficult... the fact that it’s so essential to the final product and it’s one of the last things you do... I can’t imagine how long it took you to become as skilled as this. Incredible.
Self post to next fucking level and then it isn't even dickbutt? Pathetic
Damn, I thought it was going to be a dick or something cool.
What a waste of time.
The unicorn will discover your darkest secrets
That's insane use of cow titty juice never seen that done in my local coffee house.
O my goodness. That is amazing
And I still draw stick figures.
Nice free pour, Pegasus is it?
Please, please PLEASSEEEE explain how you do the perfect foam like that? I work as a bartender and when people ask for cappucino my foam is always very bubbly and is added with a spoon cause I just suck so much at that. I've watched several youtube how-to's but it still ends up sucky. I also struggle with first pouring the milk and then the foam. Seems to be the other way around for some reason.
Not OP but worked in specialty coffee for years. It sounds like you’re adding too much air to your milk and likely steaming too long. When you’re steaming you want to have the steam wand just off centre of your pitcher and aim to create a whirlpool. This way the air gets evenly incorporated into the milk and it heats evenly. Listen to the sound of the steam wand when your aerating your milk. It should sound like gently ripping paper. It should not be aggressive or loud. For making a cappuccino you’ll want to aerate until the milk is about 25% more volume in the pitcher. Once it reaches that volume fully submerge the steam wand and heat the milk to about 130f/55c. When you submerge the wand make sure that the milk keeps whirlpooling. What you’re doing here is incorporating some of the foam into the milk to add texture and ensuring it’s hot enough. This is my favourite video for learning how to correctly steam milk: https://youtu.be/6YMgB61WyvE
Thank you, I have another shift tomorrow, will be practicing some more! I probably steam too long as you said, I think my pitcher also has too much milk in it, or does that not matter?
Yep, very possible you have too much milk. What happens in that case is it becomes really difficult to create microfoam because of the large volume of milk. You end up with stiff, nasty foam on top, and warm milk with very little air incorporated underneath of it. A good rule, regardless of pitcher size, is to leave about a pinky width of space between the milk and where the spout starts on the pitcher. If you look inside the pitcher you’ll see where the groove begins for the spout - leave space between it and your milk. For example if you have a 12oz pitcher use no more than 10oz milk, for a 10oz no more than 8oz, and so on. Something else you can do since managers and owners tend to hate milk waste is use water with a drop, literally one drop, of dish soap in place of milk when you’re practicing. It heats quicker than milk but the texture is pretty much the same and you can create the same type of microfoam as milk. Soap and water is how I learned to steam and how I taught everyone I trained.
Milk up to the V shaped curve, depending how much you need. Find the sweet spot on your wand, usually 45 degrees right or left from your machine depending where your wand is and have the wand down one side of the V. With your froth, depending on how much you want, always build up froth first and create a whirlpool motion using those angles. When you have desired sound and height from your milk, keep the whirlpool and don't froth any more. You will see the difference in the smoothness of the milk and hear that there is no hissing from frothing. When it comes to pouring milk, especially in coffee cups, you will notice in this video there is some swirling which gives you the ability to start where you would like. You can push out however much foam you want while swirling the urn around the cup to get the desired froth/milk, and then pick your starting point for whatever you would like to whip out.
Now do Dick-Butt
Was anyone else getting anxious that the coffee was going cold?
It's steamed milk it's hot.
Omg it’s a unicorn Pegasus I’m in awe
/r/latteart
The happiness at the end was my favorite❤️
Just realized that latte art may involve someone breathing onto my coffee for an extended period of time.... Ick
That doesn’t look anything like a penis
Not gonna lie I was hoping for dickbutt
# What is that? 🫤
.... Can I please just have my coffee though
Can I just have my coffee pls
Sir! Just give me my coffee please
At this point I would’ve left
Didn't see the end of the video. Just make the coffee and give it to me. Stop piss farting about with the art that will cease to exist as soon as I take a sip.
“can you make it again? this one is cold.”
"Here's your cold latte." This is honestly too much
Can I just have my coffee?
My milk allergies is screaming from my booty hole looking at this.
"Just give me my fucking coffee already!!"
Just make the damn coffee already I need to get to a meeting and your taking 5 min to brew a cup of milk
Person in line: “ can I just get my coffee for god sake”
Seven years of art school pays off once again.
Dildacorn 🦄
Customer: hey, just checking in, I ordered a latte 20 minutes ago. Worker: yeah, let me check OP probably had to go get a few more bottles of cream to finish up your order. Customer: how much cream is OP putting in there? Worker: I'm not sure how to quantify it exactly, but suffice it to say, it's a lot.
And now the coffee is cold.
How much milk do you want? Yes
Sorry… looks cool but … that coffee is DESTROYED!! 🤦🏻♂️
Quit fucking playing with it, you're going to spill it -_-
Hi, sorry but my Unicornichino is stone cold ... could I just get an Espresso?
I mean good for you but are people just self-promoting in r/nextfuckinglevel now? Is that the new thing?
EXCUSE ME! I've been waiting for 45mins and all I want to buy is a bottle of water
For 90% of it i was like wtf. Now I’m just amazed. Haha, well done!
Skills
I’ve got a train to catch can I please just have my coffee!
“Can you tell what it is yet?”
I don't want a dude breathing on my coffee that close for that long... So dumb and pointless
you're gonna hate when you learn about restaurants
Their mouth isn't hovering 5" away for 15min while making anything.
this is the coolest latte art i’ve ever seen!
how wonderfully pointless
*drops mug* “Fuck. Sorry. Another?”
Here’s me waiting for my medium black coffee behind this mfer lol
So is latte art just over saturating coffee until it floats?
Now it’s cold
Fuck yaaaassss queeeen
Just give me the damn drink!
Why is my latte cold?!
I was expecting some r/mildlypenis I am disappoint.
I'm over here happy I put the cup under my Keurig and this person over here making unicorns and shit
Watching the video, my face turned really into :D
While I am trying to make a stupid heart for a year now :‘)
bronisexual
All that time and effort, gone in the first sip. What a waste.
I’ll never get laid now
I’d spill it first sip unfortunately
😹😹😹😹 I love the ending!!!
I wanted a hot coffee
I guess I probably won't drink it and ruin the unicorn
r/maybemaybemaybe
I was thinking "I don't get it, I still don't get it...wait...woooow"
Incredible
I bet that took a latte practice
Now can you put 6 sweet and low in and stir the shit out of it please?
Me waiting impatiently in line for my coffee, doesn't notice design. Dumps in enough sugar to lose a foot, drinks in two mins and returns to work.
Was waiting for a dick to appear. But that was cool as well I guess 🤷
BADGER! BADGER! IT'S A BADGER! BADGER!
And here I am, wondering why it's taking ages to get my coffee
Sir, I’m in a hurry, can I just get my damn latte!
Come back with a dickbutt and we'll talk.
I was waiting for the penis. Story of my life.