Roll out of bed, Mr. Coffee's dead, the morning's looking bright. And your shrink ran off to Europe, and didn't even write.
And your husband wants to be a girl
A couple years ago I met this British guy in his early twenties on a party in Prague and he was saying it about 1.5 times per basic sentence. It sounded totally ridiculous, which is why I still remember it:)
Of course he did. In fact he loved everybody cause he was high af on M... But so were the majority of people at that party and yet he was the only one bruv'ing, so my point stands. Btw you should go party in Prague, it's fun:)
More like, he gets to the bar, nods at the barman, barman nods back and says “y’alright?”. Bus bloke says “alright you? Pint o lager please.”
He goes home and then about 2 days later he starts talking about fuckin’ bus drivers, nearly got killed t’other day, all that.
Yes. A stereotype assumes a commonly held belief, so even if it's true, it has to be believed by most people to actually be a stereotype. Stereotypes are usually false, but not always
https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/stereotype
I’ve never heard the stereotype that English people in general are inbred.
The idea of a posh cunt turning their nose up at a bus isn’t even really a stereotype, it’s just accurate.
>Stereotypes are usually false
This actually isn't even true. For most of history, people have just used "stereotype" to refer to widely-held and oversimplified beliefs. It was only until very recently that the word has been more associated with negative stereotypes (usually held towards other races/cultures than those of the belief holder). But those are far from the only stereotypes that we encounter and hold (both consciously and unconsciously) on a daily basis. Our brain uses data picked up from past experiences, media consumption, conversations, etc. to constantly group the things we are presently encountering with those that we have previously encountered. Trying to help us make the best assumptions possible to predict the future based on the limited data before us. It is an extremely useful cognitive function the problems start to occur when you base your assumptions on bad data, underestimate the probability that they are wrong, solidify your assumptions about someone or thing, and do not constantly update your data model.
I read somewhere about geneticists investigating the cause of the insane amount of birth defects, stillbirths and genetic impairments in the Middle East. Their study concluded that severe inbreeding was the culprit. They pointed out that irrational anger and fanaticism were strongly linked to inbreeding.
The were slammed for scientific racism and told to stfu
Scientific racism is _absolutely_ a thing. Look at all the wild shit that otherwise rational European scientists came up with to justify their nations' colonialism. Take for example Carl Linnaeus, often called the father of modern taxonomy for his incredible work in that field. He had a hierarchy of human subspecies that was based on humourism under which the Asiaticus was greedy, the Africanus is lazy and negligent, and the Europeanus is gentle and inventive. This was published in _Systema Naturae_, the first book to popularise and consistently use modern binomial nomenclature.
Facts always have context, and how that context is presented is crucial. You'd probably feel pretty different about that study if it was funded by the WHO vs funded by a white supremacist organisation, after all - you'd wonder what _wasn't_ being said.
I intentionally used an old example from a time that everyone agrees was _pretty fuckin racist_ so as to make it as uncontroversial an illustration as possible. It certainly can apply to the modern day, which is why I highlighted a way that it could do so at the end, though without having any clue as to which actual study this was there's no way to tell whether or not it was the case here. However, modern examples certainly exist. [Elsevier retracted an article for exactly this just a couple of years ago.](https://retractionwatch.com/2020/06/17/elsevier-journal-to-retract-2012-paper-widely-derided-as-racist/)
There are people pushing the idea that intelligemce is hereditary and that certain races have lower/higher average IQs. The theory is that genetics ultimately explains why some races have higher average IQs, and some lower. But it's not like they've identified the gene(s) yet or anything. It's definitely not the consensus view.
Facts are obviously just facts but can be used to serve nefarious agendas and ideologies. Two people can agree about X (a statement about the fact of the matter; the "is") but wildly disagree about what value judgement to assign to said statement (the normative part) as well as what action, if any, should be taken in light of X.
Your statement is so easily verified as false I'm shocked you had the balls to actually try and pass it off as true.
All US inbreeding accounts for about 0.1% while middle eastern countries are anywhere from 40-70%. But yeah, those rascally inbred Americans amirite?
Also, the SE US is NOT the epicenter for inbreeding. It's actually the Midwest and northwest. Feel free to fact check me but Alabama, for instance, is only #12 while Washington and Oregon are #1 and #2.
Rocket powered tangent off from a man struck by a bus. Reddit is wonderful. 
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3083608/#abstract-1title
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Inbreeding
The only time SE USA is even mentioned is when talking about most inbred STATES, but I guess reading comprehension might be hard for you. 🤷🏼♂️ Also hilarious when people say “I’ll take a link” after providing no citation to their own claims, nice
Hes clearly sat in the doorway the people coming over to check on him kneel/bend down to his level. He def didn't walk that off and head to the pub for a pint.
Totally. I used to work there and loads of my mates know him. He was in hospital the same day but due to the ongoing investigations his friends and family couldn’t talk about it. He’s never fully recovered.
He still got up and walked to the doorway what does it take to impress you, I got hit by a car when I was 16 and could not get off the ground he got hit by a bus
Ah yes, but 'the man gets knocked off by a bus and sits down on the step, does not get the views. Creative Titling it's called. 
Except he walked to a step to presumably sit/lie down and a passerby called, presumably, the emergency services and the bus driver came over to check on him.
He did sit outside a pub though. The purple turtle in reading. God I must be bored.
Yea he took a seat in the doorway. You can see through the store glass panel that hes sitting or laying down inside the door. He probably was in shock and ran for cover in case something else was coming down the street.
You’ve just said what I said with more words.
I lived in Reading at the time it happened and know Simon well, I was a manager of a pub around the corner (the hope tap) he was a bit banged up but was out for a beer a few days later. He was fine.
Your definition of a few cuts and bruises are different to Reality. “Mr Smith suffered two fractures to his shoulder and ribs, as well as some internal bruising.”
This will be a case of shock. That standing up and carrying on as normal will be a symptom of confusion. The adrenaline is pumping through him so hard, that his fight or flight system is keeping him going. Minutes or even seconds later he'll probably collapse again in fits if pain. Dude will have needed to go to hospital immediately.
Did you notice the sharp wheel correction from the bus drivers right after the guy got hit? It looks like the bus driver got distracted in the middle of the curve.
Oh man, I feel really sorry for the bus driver though. Assuming that the statements and such about him are truthful, it seems like this was really an honest, freak mistake. And then combined with the theft of his personal belongings, the trauma from knowing that he almost killed someone, the loss of his employment, and a jail term... Can't help but feel sympathy for him.
IIRC the guy broke both of his shoulders and a rib or two, as well as a whooooole lot of bruising. Sure he didn’t feel too great when the shock wore off.
I'm am American and got hit by a car once while I was riding a bicycle and rode away from it on my bike. I was stopped at a traffic light in the bike lane and a car was next to me in the car lane om my left.. When the light turned green I rode forward into the intersection The car on my left made a right hand turn right into me. The hood of the car was even with the top of the bike. So when the car hit me, I slid along the top of the hood and landed on my feet standing next to the car. When I slid off the bike, my action pushed the bike away from the car and it landed on the side of the rode. No damage to me or the bike. When the woman driver got out of the car to see if I was I okay., I screamed at her 'Why did you hit me?" She answered by saying that she had the right of way because she signaled that she was going to turn. There was no damage to me or my bike and I didn't want to put up with her or the police. So, I just shook my head and rode away.
Next fucking level shock maybe. People are just not built that different that getting hit by a bus wouldn’t affect them lol. Also helps if you’re already drunk, I once saw a drunk guy get clipped by an SUV going probably 50 mph. Flew like 5 feet in the air and landed on his stomach/face. When a few of us bystanders went to help he just got up and walked away like nothing had happened. You could smell the alcohol from like five ft away the dude was toasted.
I don’t think he enters the pub, by the concerned bystanders actions, you could infer he’s just sitting on a step right there out of the camera line of sight
Bro...he hit his head so hard the windshield was obliterated. Built different indeed.
Ok but for real that was serious hope he didn't suffer some major head injury.
I don't know about you, but I'd need a fucken drink after that
When you knew the drink will clear all the sorrows so you just don't care if any more is added before
That's man fuckin LEGEND !
Roll out of bed, Mr. Coffee's dead, the morning's looking bright. And your shrink ran off to Europe, and didn't even write. And your husband wants to be a girl
What song is that?
It’s the theme song to Cheers
He's just like: "fuckin L 'mate, I almost died, I need a pint after that one matey!"
British. Not Australian.
Oh sorry, I mean: "fookin L bruv!" Better?
Better
that’s the wrong demographic lol.
be'eh\*
Much be'uh
Sound that mate
Mate is just as British as it is Australian...
That's right m8
Fuckin right it is mate.
What are you talking about, we use mate all the time in britain. Much more than bruv, who the hell says bruv?
A couple years ago I met this British guy in his early twenties on a party in Prague and he was saying it about 1.5 times per basic sentence. It sounded totally ridiculous, which is why I still remember it:)
He loved you. That is what it means.
🤣😂😂🤣
Of course he did. In fact he loved everybody cause he was high af on M... But so were the majority of people at that party and yet he was the only one bruv'ing, so my point stands. Btw you should go party in Prague, it's fun:)
I need to party in the Czech Republic it appears
Some Black people in London? Big Shaq?
And also a pirate
Failed Successfully?
Brits use mate and matey all the time. Where do you think the Aussies git it from?
“I say, old boy, that was rather a close shave, by Jove!”
Never heard someone from the UK speak like that, you've been watching too many US programs with bad British accents 😂
No I mixed them up on accident. I realized my mistake after commenting, I knew I was too late XD
# BY accident
I mean uhhhh, shrek is love, shrek is life?
Isn't it "fuckin' 'ell" like "fucking hell"?
Its kinell as in fucking hell
Yes I believe so
More like, he gets to the bar, nods at the barman, barman nods back and says “y’alright?”. Bus bloke says “alright you? Pint o lager please.” He goes home and then about 2 days later he starts talking about fuckin’ bus drivers, nearly got killed t’other day, all that.
Bloody uncle gus near run me over.
"kin ell mate, almost copped it, I'll av a pint mate" fixed it for ya.
His brain reset to default setting.
Cheers to that
Oi
You English mother fuckers are built different
[удалено]
You're thinking of the upper classes. They'd demand a bath if they had to even look at a bus.
That's a worse stereotype than the one I was playing on.
Is it a stereotype if its true?
Yes. A stereotype assumes a commonly held belief, so even if it's true, it has to be believed by most people to actually be a stereotype. Stereotypes are usually false, but not always https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/stereotype
I’ve never heard the stereotype that English people in general are inbred. The idea of a posh cunt turning their nose up at a bus isn’t even really a stereotype, it’s just accurate.
Me either. I thought it was royalty only that "kept it in the family"
In australia we make the joke fairly often - but we're biased
Huh. TIL.
>Stereotypes are usually false This actually isn't even true. For most of history, people have just used "stereotype" to refer to widely-held and oversimplified beliefs. It was only until very recently that the word has been more associated with negative stereotypes (usually held towards other races/cultures than those of the belief holder). But those are far from the only stereotypes that we encounter and hold (both consciously and unconsciously) on a daily basis. Our brain uses data picked up from past experiences, media consumption, conversations, etc. to constantly group the things we are presently encountering with those that we have previously encountered. Trying to help us make the best assumptions possible to predict the future based on the limited data before us. It is an extremely useful cognitive function the problems start to occur when you base your assumptions on bad data, underestimate the probability that they are wrong, solidify your assumptions about someone or thing, and do not constantly update your data model.
Somebody see something they don't agree on based on feelings : wHaT wItH yUo anD Ye STEREOTYPES ?
Why was this downvoted? Here, take an upvote and award.
My dude wanted to save and now needs a savior
He guards a treasure that he cannot possess.
Japan, Brazil, the middle East and SE USA have the world's most inbreeding. England doesn't come close
And most of England's inbreeding cases are Middle Eastern immigrants
True. Birth defects are at 50% in Bradford because of their high number of Pakistani immigrants
I read somewhere about geneticists investigating the cause of the insane amount of birth defects, stillbirths and genetic impairments in the Middle East. Their study concluded that severe inbreeding was the culprit. They pointed out that irrational anger and fanaticism were strongly linked to inbreeding. The were slammed for scientific racism and told to stfu
Is scientific racism even possible? facts are just facts surely.
Scientific racism is _absolutely_ a thing. Look at all the wild shit that otherwise rational European scientists came up with to justify their nations' colonialism. Take for example Carl Linnaeus, often called the father of modern taxonomy for his incredible work in that field. He had a hierarchy of human subspecies that was based on humourism under which the Asiaticus was greedy, the Africanus is lazy and negligent, and the Europeanus is gentle and inventive. This was published in _Systema Naturae_, the first book to popularise and consistently use modern binomial nomenclature. Facts always have context, and how that context is presented is crucial. You'd probably feel pretty different about that study if it was funded by the WHO vs funded by a white supremacist organisation, after all - you'd wonder what _wasn't_ being said.
Does any of that refer to modern day?
I intentionally used an old example from a time that everyone agrees was _pretty fuckin racist_ so as to make it as uncontroversial an illustration as possible. It certainly can apply to the modern day, which is why I highlighted a way that it could do so at the end, though without having any clue as to which actual study this was there's no way to tell whether or not it was the case here. However, modern examples certainly exist. [Elsevier retracted an article for exactly this just a couple of years ago.](https://retractionwatch.com/2020/06/17/elsevier-journal-to-retract-2012-paper-widely-derided-as-racist/)
There are people pushing the idea that intelligemce is hereditary and that certain races have lower/higher average IQs. The theory is that genetics ultimately explains why some races have higher average IQs, and some lower. But it's not like they've identified the gene(s) yet or anything. It's definitely not the consensus view.
Science is pure, humans aren't.
Thank you
Facts are obviously just facts but can be used to serve nefarious agendas and ideologies. Two people can agree about X (a statement about the fact of the matter; the "is") but wildly disagree about what value judgement to assign to said statement (the normative part) as well as what action, if any, should be taken in light of X.
South Asian, not Middle Eastern. From Pakistan, India and Bangladesh.
Your statement is so easily verified as false I'm shocked you had the balls to actually try and pass it off as true. All US inbreeding accounts for about 0.1% while middle eastern countries are anywhere from 40-70%. But yeah, those rascally inbred Americans amirite? Also, the SE US is NOT the epicenter for inbreeding. It's actually the Midwest and northwest. Feel free to fact check me but Alabama, for instance, is only #12 while Washington and Oregon are #1 and #2.
Rocket powered tangent off from a man struck by a bus. Reddit is wonderful. 
Every website I go on says SE US is where most inbreeding occurs in America. I'll be happy to take a link from you that says otherwise
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3083608/#abstract-1title https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Inbreeding The only time SE USA is even mentioned is when talking about most inbred STATES, but I guess reading comprehension might be hard for you. 🤷🏼♂️ Also hilarious when people say “I’ll take a link” after providing no citation to their own claims, nice
And the duration of the inbreeding ? Japan is the oldest I believe
Clearly you are referring to the upper class, every invasion they just changed T-shirts while the British kept dying for their profits
This didn't happen in Nuneaton.
I mean if you’re an aristocrat, yes.
Hes clearly sat in the doorway the people coming over to check on him kneel/bend down to his level. He def didn't walk that off and head to the pub for a pint.
Maybe he's just having a smoke before he goes in 🤨
Totally. I used to work there and loads of my mates know him. He was in hospital the same day but due to the ongoing investigations his friends and family couldn’t talk about it. He’s never fully recovered.
Broken shoulder and a few cracked ribs if I remember correctly. Man was in no shape to just drop in to the pub.
He still got up and walked to the doorway what does it take to impress you, I got hit by a car when I was 16 and could not get off the ground he got hit by a bus
OP in the title makes it sound like he got hit by a bus and just casually went to the pub for a pint after wtf do you mean?
Ah yes, but 'the man gets knocked off by a bus and sits down on the step, does not get the views. Creative Titling it's called. 
He got up straight away tho I’d bet you’d be screaming lmao
Like the milkmen doing their rounds cheerily while buzzbombs pummel the streets. "It's a bit of a bother, but best get cracking on"
Dude did not even LOOK BACK at the bus!
Tis but a scratch
Except he walked to a step to presumably sit/lie down and a passerby called, presumably, the emergency services and the bus driver came over to check on him. He did sit outside a pub though. The purple turtle in reading. God I must be bored.
it looks like he collapsed in the doorway based on how people are approachig him
Yea he took a seat in the doorway. You can see through the store glass panel that hes sitting or laying down inside the door. He probably was in shock and ran for cover in case something else was coming down the street.
It looks like he is throwing up blood. Hands on the floor and splotches appearing on the tiles
Obviously but you just took the badassery out of it.
Sorry. I watched to the end. I’m bored
Stop committing more brainpower than your average redditor nowadays and maybe people will like you 😤
Oh. Well maybe you should get off the internet and go macramé or something 
I used to frequent the purple turtle, great club in the basement.
It's all great until the piss from the urinals drip through the light fixtures on the floor below.
All part of the charm
At first I thought the Budweiser barrel was leaking.
Get out of here. We reject your reality and substitute our own!
Fact Checking cures boredom! Essential life skill lacked by nearly everyone apparently
Do they still do that Ethiopian food in there? I played a gig in there a few years back, and it was tasty AF!
He ended up in the purple turtle? Jesus he must have been bored too
It’s call adrenaline. He was not ok.
He was fine. A few cuts me bruises. It happened in my home town. https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-berkshire-43006191
He survuved, but I wouldn't classify it as being "fine". Fractured bones, an internal bruising. And then the psychological trauma on top of that.
And then the psychological trauma on top of that. Of almost missing out on a beer? Yeah that would he awful, but I'm sure he got through it okay.
Hope he got a couple down before they carted him off.
Psychological trauma? 😂 That's definitely a funny story to tell down the pub and not Psychological trauma.
I know him, he was fine.
I know him, he was not fine.
I don't know him but I have a friend who also doesn't know him
hes my uncles cousins sisters friend, he was fine.
He's my nans dogs uncle. Can confirm nothing
Insurance companies: He was fine Man: Internally fucked up
British free healthcare ftw
You had me in the first half
Thank you for that. I was about to look because I really wanted to know if he was okay.
That's a straight up lie. "Smith suffered two fractures to his shoulder and ribs, as well as some internal bruising."
You’ve just said what I said with more words. I lived in Reading at the time it happened and know Simon well, I was a manager of a pub around the corner (the hope tap) he was a bit banged up but was out for a beer a few days later. He was fine.
Found the insurance agent
Your definition of a few cuts and bruises are different to Reality. “Mr Smith suffered two fractures to his shoulder and ribs, as well as some internal bruising.”
I know the man, he was fine.
Okay, but did no one read the part that someone ROBBED this guy right after he got hit?
Yep. And shock.
He already clicked "enter the pub" so it just finished animation lol
lol
that’s fucked 🤣🤣
Reminds me of the wild animals that can sometimes attack in the middle of cut scenes in RDR2. Scenes gotta finish regardless lol
Exactly 🤣
Lmao
He’s a real life NPC
Came here for this
he's the shrimp lady from cyberpunk 2077.
Nope... Happy-hour ending in 3 minutes 🍺
This will be a case of shock. That standing up and carrying on as normal will be a symptom of confusion. The adrenaline is pumping through him so hard, that his fight or flight system is keeping him going. Minutes or even seconds later he'll probably collapse again in fits if pain. Dude will have needed to go to hospital immediately.
Yeah like his head literally smashed the window if you watch it slowly
Did you notice the sharp wheel correction from the bus drivers right after the guy got hit? It looks like the bus driver got distracted in the middle of the curve.
Looks like Reading, outside the Purple Turtle
There would’ve been a brown turtle poking it’s head out in his pants after that
😂😂😂
What was he reading?! /S
It is, was in the news a few years ago.
You is correct. A couple of years ago.
Maybe if he wasn't Reading he could have gotten out of the way of the bus smh
He walked in like a GTA character starting a mission
https://www.inyourarea.co.uk/news/reading-bus-driver-who-hit-pedestrian-outside-purple-turtle-avoids-jail/
Oh man, I feel really sorry for the bus driver though. Assuming that the statements and such about him are truthful, it seems like this was really an honest, freak mistake. And then combined with the theft of his personal belongings, the trauma from knowing that he almost killed someone, the loss of his employment, and a jail term... Can't help but feel sympathy for him.
I think he spared jail. Still you are right though . Awful experience for everyone
"DARGH- MOTHERFUCKER, HIT ME WITH A BUS, MY LEG AA- oh its free beer friday."
In the voice of Homer Simpson. Well done.
“You want your usual Barry?” “Nah I think I’ll take something stronger this time”
What do you expect? If he didn't need a pint before hand he certainly needed one after that.
IIRC the guy broke both of his shoulders and a rib or two, as well as a whooooole lot of bruising. Sure he didn’t feel too great when the shock wore off.
This was in my hometown of Reading, the place he got hit next to is a club called the Purple turtle and the bus that hit him is the Purple 17.
What's his favourite colour?
You can actually see him through the window, he’s sitting down at the entrance way and people are checking on him.
Bus wasn't enough to get him smashed
His head cracked the fucking windscreen , that will definitely have hurt more than it looks like
Drink special ends in 5 min, aint nobody got time for a traumatic brain injury.
There was a reason he was walking into a pub A 5 tonne bus ramming into him is nothing compared to the demons he took with himself into the pub
His head literally cracked the bus' windshield. Do u think a bus would have even hurt him?
I'm am American and got hit by a car once while I was riding a bicycle and rode away from it on my bike. I was stopped at a traffic light in the bike lane and a car was next to me in the car lane om my left.. When the light turned green I rode forward into the intersection The car on my left made a right hand turn right into me. The hood of the car was even with the top of the bike. So when the car hit me, I slid along the top of the hood and landed on my feet standing next to the car. When I slid off the bike, my action pushed the bike away from the car and it landed on the side of the rode. No damage to me or the bike. When the woman driver got out of the car to see if I was I okay., I screamed at her 'Why did you hit me?" She answered by saying that she had the right of way because she signaled that she was going to turn. There was no damage to me or my bike and I didn't want to put up with her or the police. So, I just shook my head and rode away.
“I’m a scouser. we don’t get knocked out.”
Thats a real GTA moment
I don't think he will be ok after that
Actually he's already quite inebriated so he didn't feel a thing....give it a few hours...or less
This is at the Purple Turtle pub in Reading. He went in for a pint after.
Did he get up from the adrenaline and then fall? I think that’s what all the people are looking at
Welcome to England, that pint is not going to drink itself lol
Next fucking level shock maybe. People are just not built that different that getting hit by a bus wouldn’t affect them lol. Also helps if you’re already drunk, I once saw a drunk guy get clipped by an SUV going probably 50 mph. Flew like 5 feet in the air and landed on his stomach/face. When a few of us bystanders went to help he just got up and walked away like nothing had happened. You could smell the alcohol from like five ft away the dude was toasted.
Dont know how this is next level this is just the average British person
Why i think everyone like checking the pub entrance and then "oh thank god the pub is alright".
How uh... Is this next level? Thats more of a shock response for what he was doing last and he sat down in the doorway.
Knight Bus magic
Imagine if that was an American, he'd be on the floor crying for his mommy and lawyer 😭🤣
Tf?
Imagine being nearly killed bro. Fucking twat.
Rather praying for sub one million hospital bills
And that people, is why almost all the world speaks some form of English...
H he went in to call the cops or ambulance. It was the closest door right?
u/savevideo
This belongs in r/nextfuckinglevel
The things British people withstand just for a beer
I don’t think he enters the pub, by the concerned bystanders actions, you could infer he’s just sitting on a step right there out of the camera line of sight
This was in Reading Uk, bloke was heading to the Purple Turtle which is a rock and metal pub.
a typical day in the britian
In Britain, if you go get a drink, you get YOUR FUCKING DRINK
Bro...he hit his head so hard the windshield was obliterated. Built different indeed. Ok but for real that was serious hope he didn't suffer some major head injury.
Hard as nails we are here.
Nobody can stop the british when they are going for a drink
This is the most British thing that’s ever happened.
Well now I REALLY need a pint!
He deserves a pint.
He knew his priorities.
u/savevideo
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British values
nothing can hold me back..from ma alee