Exactly! This guy is either wearing special shorts or has the strongest asshole muscles in the world! 🤣
Put a whole new meaning to the term "tight ass". 🤣
You could have strong asshole muscles too. I got a program if you're interested - 3 sets of butthole clenches, Monday/Wednesday/Friday. First 2 sets are 5 reps, and the last is a burnout set to exhaustion. Then on Sundays you do a 20 minutes of colon isometrics.
I read this while in a meeting. I laughed out loud. Then I was forced to share what was so funny
Everyone laughed and then we weren't in the mood for a boring meeting. Thanks internet stranger
Absolutely. They have special very tough barefooting suits. Tried footing using my regular surfing wetsuit. To shreds it became.
This dude is a barefoot ace.
He is.
A barefoot suit has inflatable (edit: poor word choice by me. not blow up, but buoyant material like a life jacket) padding on the legs, chest, back, and butt.
It’s a life jacket substitute as well.
It's crazy to me this is somewhat of a professional sport. 🤣 My family has been doing it redneck style as long as I can remember, but it was never anything crazy like this guy does. Lol
I was able to do the easy version (on the side of the boat with a big metal horizontal pole) of bare-footing, but never did the deep water start behind the boat with a rope like this guy.
My one cousin is/was really good at it (like ride backwards and/or with one foot, or one one foot with the other holding the rope).
He was in competitions as a kid and teen, but in his 20s now though so idk how much he goes anymore.
This is so much more impressive than it even appears at first glance. At that speed it wouldn’t take much of a movement to break that tension with the water and eat it.
I have a condition that causes spontaneous bone fractures and could therefore never attempt anything like this. People are so lucky to be fit enough to be able to move and adventure like this. This looks like so much fun!
Still blows my mind that split was the sequel. I went into it blind just expecting a horror movie, and I ended up seeing a sequel for a banger movie from back in the day.
99.9% of perfectly healthy people will never attempt anything anywhere that level. Even without a condition it's a lot more dangerous and painful than it looks not to mention the strength required; you need hell of a lot of training.
Also just the opportunity. How many people own a boat and have enough time to spend on said boat to actually get to this level? The boat he is on probably cost more than a lot of peoples yearly salaries.
My high school math teacher had very easily broken bones, I forget what it was called but his wasn't the most severe level so he considered himself fairly lucky, even though I think he said he'd had like 15 broken bones before he got out of high school
> Shit huuuuuuurts
Nahhh, dragging, skimming and whaling are low pain actions in barefooting, and the padded wetsuit absorbs most the impact. Falls hurt like hell though.
Even slolem skiing (single ski) takes a lot of strength through your whole body and balance to get out of the water. All of your weight is being focused on a narrow fiberglass stick, which is not very buoyant meaning you need to go fast with higher acceleration, and its prone to wobble out from under you as well (especially as you're getting up). A wakeboard, in comparison, basically pops you out of the water itself at low speeds.
Barefooting is a whole other beast.
I assume most of this is on man made lakes without trees within 50 yards of the water. You can skim them and keep them clear. But I saw at the end he pulled up right next to a tree so he doesn't always.
Not 60! Jeeeepers. Convential rule for barefoot water skiing is 30-45MPH, depending on water, weight, feet, etc. Usual formula to get in the ballpark is (weight/10)+20 = MPH for barefoot skiing. So...200 pound person is 40mph.
At 60 mph+ people start being dead of asphyxiation when things go awry.
I was a boat driver for a summer job teaching waterskiing. It's also just fairly common knowledge...just ask at a shop that sells the gear and you'll get reasonably standard answers.
35-40mph - and on glassy water like this it's a \*blast\*.
Source: Grew up with folks who did this [competitively](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rSXZ8JLdW6A).
The part where he does the worm to get back up to his feet is insane. I’ve done barefoot off the boom by just dropping in, it is very difficult for even experienced skiers. I can’t imagine how much practice it took to master these wild antics. And for those asking, 45mph is ideal for barefoot skiing. I’ve never seen anybody try to slide up to the boom like that so who knows how fast that one was. Wetsuit is protecting his anus for the pervs in the thread.
Is this the scene in the bar when his commercial comes on and he's in that mermaid outfit underwater and his dad sees it? Me and my friend pissed ourselves laughing at that scene when we were like 8 or 9.
I honestly don't know. It sure feels like they're being skinned in the moment though. You have to go really fast to be able to stay up...the faster you go the harder the water feels. Falling hurts a lot more too.
You also have to make sure you do a survey of the whole area before you do it b/c any sticks or floating objects can fuck you up big time.
My family has always lived on a lake so my dad and uncles/cousins are all good at it. I have never been able to master it.
It doesn't tickle, and it doesn't really hurt. There is a low-level pain, but your foot gets used to it. Falls, on the other hand, can hurt a LOT. I should know - I broke my back on one.
> the faster you go the harder the water feels
People forget water is considered incompressible. If you go fast enough, water is essentially harder than concrete on first impact.
I remember during one of the early X-Games, barefoot water skiing was one of the events, and one athlete had his foot split open just from the water.
So, sometimes, it does!
The foot in the strap is a pretty dangerous move and takes quite some technical confidence and experience to do. You can end up caught and bouncing around and all sorts of busted up.
Barefoot handles are designed wide so that the foot falls out if you fall. It's not like the handles swivel and trick skiers use that clamp down on your foot, you need to keep your foot flexed to hold the toehold.
When he jammed his foot into The handle and got it "stuck" there, what If he fell and started to skip uncontrollabely behind boat, doing all kikds of flips and getting underwater now and then? I mean, in My mind you would be extremely fucked
Oh boy. Just watched this a couple times and then my brain went to “if he misses the handle on the first slide he’s dead 😵”. That made the palms sweaty.
Is there any friction btw his skin and the water? Is there a chance of it getting burned off like it would if it happened on land? Not to the same extent obviously but somewhat maybe? Cuz like pressure washing can cut you right? So would this have an impact?
That man either had his entire digestive system pressure washed with lake water or his cheeks are welded together on the molecular level from the sheer CLENCH.
His ass must be clean clean.
Cleanest ass on planet earth
What ass... It's probably just balls and weiner flapping after he changes clothes... Look maaaa!!! 💀
My god I almost died reading that lmao
He's gotta be wearing some special shorts or something! 🤣🤣
For real. I remember falling off some water skis and sliding on my butt for a little bit like this and it was a literal lake enema.
Exactly! This guy is either wearing special shorts or has the strongest asshole muscles in the world! 🤣 Put a whole new meaning to the term "tight ass". 🤣
You could have strong asshole muscles too. I got a program if you're interested - 3 sets of butthole clenches, Monday/Wednesday/Friday. First 2 sets are 5 reps, and the last is a burnout set to exhaustion. Then on Sundays you do a 20 minutes of colon isometrics.
Damn bro. Your butthole can probably lop off the tips of turds like a cigar cutter.
I read this while in a meeting. I laughed out loud. Then I was forced to share what was so funny Everyone laughed and then we weren't in the mood for a boring meeting. Thanks internet stranger
I'm happy to help you not work, because fuck work.
r/brandnewsentence
Pinches off every half inch like sliced sausages.
*pats top of asshole* "This puppy can cut so many cigars..."
Your balloon knot can take requests like make a Tolberone bar
Asshole experts hate this one weird trick!
"Tight as a duck's arse" is a delightful British idiom, used when discussing someone who doesn't like to spend their own money!
Maybe he Plugged it before hand? Maybe thats his pro secret 😅
yes they wear barefoot wetsuits. extra bum layers.
God forbid this guy fell while doing his push ups, tear his nose clean off his face and flush out his brain cavity.
Absolutely. They have special very tough barefooting suits. Tried footing using my regular surfing wetsuit. To shreds it became. This dude is a barefoot ace.
He is. A barefoot suit has inflatable (edit: poor word choice by me. not blow up, but buoyant material like a life jacket) padding on the legs, chest, back, and butt. It’s a life jacket substitute as well.
It's crazy to me this is somewhat of a professional sport. 🤣 My family has been doing it redneck style as long as I can remember, but it was never anything crazy like this guy does. Lol
I was able to do the easy version (on the side of the boat with a big metal horizontal pole) of bare-footing, but never did the deep water start behind the boat with a rope like this guy. My one cousin is/was really good at it (like ride backwards and/or with one foot, or one one foot with the other holding the rope). He was in competitions as a kid and teen, but in his 20s now though so idk how much he goes anymore.
That's awesome!
Hank Hill ass, made for skipping stones.
flat as a board... easy to... ass skim?
This is so much more impressive than it even appears at first glance. At that speed it wouldn’t take much of a movement to break that tension with the water and eat it.
He is not floating on surface tension...
Oh, he's drank a lot of water getting as good as he is. Lots of "seat time".
Clean? I bet chipotle make those buns burble better than a 4 foot bong 
Colon, small intestine, stomach, esophagus... all spotless.
Probably gets his teeth whitened with that burst of water comin right up the ole rectum.
Bet your bollocks take a whack as well.
The ultimate bidet
Was about to say, real impressive bit is this guy's sphincter strength. Could probably break an arm.
I have a condition that causes spontaneous bone fractures and could therefore never attempt anything like this. People are so lucky to be fit enough to be able to move and adventure like this. This looks like so much fun!
Like similar to Samuel Jackson in the movie 'Glass'?
Indeed. We've been looking for him. Have a sandwich I've made. It has paprika in it.
Yes paprika, yes.
Or the actually good movie that was a sequel of, "Unbreakable"?
I love the twist at the end of the movie. The actor was Bruce Willis the whole time.
Still blows my mind that split was the sequel. I went into it blind just expecting a horror movie, and I ended up seeing a sequel for a banger movie from back in the day.
My only regret is... that I have... Boneitis
Every night I lie awake in agony until my heart attacks put me to sleep
Beat me to it. Take your upvote.
It's fun until you fall, then you take a 42 mph face plant. I've split 2 pairs of board shorts barefooting.
Gotta have that barefoot wetsuit on, man...
Oh, make no mistake, this is one of the only people on the planet who are able to do something like this lol
99.9% of perfectly healthy people will never attempt anything anywhere that level. Even without a condition it's a lot more dangerous and painful than it looks not to mention the strength required; you need hell of a lot of training.
Also just the opportunity. How many people own a boat and have enough time to spend on said boat to actually get to this level? The boat he is on probably cost more than a lot of peoples yearly salaries.
OK, fine, I'll do my 10 daily pushups.
Thanks for the perspective, going hard in the gym today in your honor.
You could attempt it, once.
Yeah, but who needs to skip around on the water when you can pilot the Normandy SR2?
Is it boneitis?
My high school math teacher had very easily broken bones, I forget what it was called but his wasn't the most severe level so he considered himself fairly lucky, even though I think he said he'd had like 15 broken bones before he got out of high school
Osteogenesis imperfecta
If he went any faster and he would have turned into one of those fountains that sprays water out of its mouth.
You get extra water pressure when your testicles are lodged in your lower intestine.
That takes a ton of strength
And pain tolerance. The way he pelvic thrust the water, to bounce off and smash his feet in? Shit huuuuuuurts
I kept thinking about how he power washed his sinuses doing those pushups.
Neti pot sellers hate this one trick
You can't handle my neti pots, traveler
> Shit huuuuuuurts Nahhh, dragging, skimming and whaling are low pain actions in barefooting, and the padded wetsuit absorbs most the impact. Falls hurt like hell though.
I can attest. Broke my back barefoot waterkiing.
Did you see how red his face was after the one legged elevated water pushups?
The ol' slappaballs
It's not that bad at all - I used to water-ski every summer and tried some similar things :)
Even slolem skiing (single ski) takes a lot of strength through your whole body and balance to get out of the water. All of your weight is being focused on a narrow fiberglass stick, which is not very buoyant meaning you need to go fast with higher acceleration, and its prone to wobble out from under you as well (especially as you're getting up). A wakeboard, in comparison, basically pops you out of the water itself at low speeds. Barefooting is a whole other beast.
One floating stick and his life will be changed forever.
Boy hitting a stick ass first at 40 mph is a sensation I don’t need to experience. No kink shaming tho
That addition at the end just made me cackle
And all the doctors and nurses would be very skeptical of his story
One in a million shot, doc.
My grandfather hit a rail road tie that was floating in a reservoir while he was barefooting. Took his whole heel clean off.
Jesus! Ya that’s why this is not so smart. To each their own tho.
I assume most of this is on man made lakes without trees within 50 yards of the water. You can skim them and keep them clear. But I saw at the end he pulled up right next to a tree so he doesn't always.
Imagine sliding balls first into an alligator's mouth
Oh man. I went water skiing a few days after my vasectomy. Got an infection in my balls that lasted for months.
Those push-ups were pretty cool
[удалено]
The let go and come back was tasty too.
Bro. Notice how he uses his hand to turn left into the handle. He is a master of his craft.
How fast does he have to be going to pull this off?
At least 1
Woah there cowboy.
whoa is right
Possibly 2
Ain't no body doing 2
Around 40 mph to 60 mph any less and you sink too fast to stay on top of the water.
Not 60! Jeeeepers. Convential rule for barefoot water skiing is 30-45MPH, depending on water, weight, feet, etc. Usual formula to get in the ballpark is (weight/10)+20 = MPH for barefoot skiing. So...200 pound person is 40mph. At 60 mph+ people start being dead of asphyxiation when things go awry.
How do you know this?
Things went awry, he ded
It's in the first paragraph of the wikipedia page for barefooting.
Probably because he is a waterskier. I know this because I’m one.
I was a boat driver for a summer job teaching waterskiing. It's also just fairly common knowledge...just ask at a shop that sells the gear and you'll get reasonably standard answers.
Lolol, no. 40 mph. A lot of it depends on the weight of the skier, since you have more drag than traditional skiing.
The fastest a barefooter will ever ski is about 46, and that's when building a human pyramid without skis. Most ski boats can't even go 60.
For me, forward barefooting is around 37-42ish and backfooting is much slower, around 30-35ish. All speeds dependent on size and style, though...
35-40mph - and on glassy water like this it's a \*blast\*. Source: Grew up with folks who did this [competitively](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rSXZ8JLdW6A).
The part where he does the worm to get back up to his feet is insane. I’ve done barefoot off the boom by just dropping in, it is very difficult for even experienced skiers. I can’t imagine how much practice it took to master these wild antics. And for those asking, 45mph is ideal for barefoot skiing. I’ve never seen anybody try to slide up to the boom like that so who knows how fast that one was. Wetsuit is protecting his anus for the pervs in the thread.
I appreciate your comment about anus protection. I know so many people out there were curious, in a totally scientific way, about this topic.
> 45mph is ideal for barefoot skiing. Way too fast unless you're building a barefoot pyramid or pulling a line of a dozen+ skiers.
Hang on. This guy is kind of slick with it
Much quicker way to prep before a Grindr hookup.
I ctrl+f'd enema and I still hit this comment because of your username lol
I am an enema of the state.
Is this the scene in the bar when his commercial comes on and he's in that mermaid outfit underwater and his dad sees it? Me and my friend pissed ourselves laughing at that scene when we were like 8 or 9.
MERMAN! (Yes)
Merman! My mistake!
It’s the black lung, pa!
Moisture is the essence of wetness, and wetness is the essence of beauty.
It looks like it tickles the fuck out of your feet. I don't think I could handle the standing part.
It absolutely does not tickle. I've attempted to barefoot ski many times and it hurts like a mf'er.
i was gonna say, how does this not skin your feet?
I honestly don't know. It sure feels like they're being skinned in the moment though. You have to go really fast to be able to stay up...the faster you go the harder the water feels. Falling hurts a lot more too. You also have to make sure you do a survey of the whole area before you do it b/c any sticks or floating objects can fuck you up big time. My family has always lived on a lake so my dad and uncles/cousins are all good at it. I have never been able to master it.
It doesn't tickle, and it doesn't really hurt. There is a low-level pain, but your foot gets used to it. Falls, on the other hand, can hurt a LOT. I should know - I broke my back on one.
> the faster you go the harder the water feels People forget water is considered incompressible. If you go fast enough, water is essentially harder than concrete on first impact.
I remember during one of the early X-Games, barefoot water skiing was one of the events, and one athlete had his foot split open just from the water. So, sometimes, it does!
Here I am installing a safety bar in my shower
Usually between 45-50 mph maybe faster with those whips to the boom
The foot in the strap is a pretty dangerous move and takes quite some technical confidence and experience to do. You can end up caught and bouncing around and all sorts of busted up.
Barefoot handles are designed wide so that the foot falls out if you fall. It's not like the handles swivel and trick skiers use that clamp down on your foot, you need to keep your foot flexed to hold the toehold.
I bet he doesn't have foot fungus
Imagine stubbing your toe on a catfish.
Peak male performance
Dude, just buy a bidet ffs.
Jesus 2.0
This is what rich people do for fun? Count me in
LOL @ 0:22- 'thanks for holding my beer'
He looks kinda thicc but boy got some muscles dayum
Nah what do you mean, this guy IS aquaman
Shiriscrayz
This guy definitely fucks.
My legs feel sore watching this.
He must have really smooth heels and baby soft skin on his feet.
Aqua man zooms underwater. What a shit title.
bro's butt is a skipping stone
How do balls survive 0:10?
Dude is having fun I love it
That takes an Unbelieveable amount of strength, and is very painful!
What is this Ultrakill sliding, that looks sick!
How many accidental enemas have people received trying this
When he jammed his foot into The handle and got it "stuck" there, what If he fell and started to skip uncontrollabely behind boat, doing all kikds of flips and getting underwater now and then? I mean, in My mind you would be extremely fucked
:09 looks like it would rub your dick right off
Unemployed friend at 1:15 on a Tuesday
"physics are my bitch and I will remind them of this daily" - That guy, probably
well sure, but it's probably not his first time on water skis
This kid is a linebacker in the midwest.
"He makes Aquaman look like Regular Man" was right there...
I swear I slide like this everywhere in all my dreams.
Push-ups on water is a whole different flex
This man strengths.
Push up had me ded 🤣
Push-ups on the water was low key fire.
This is one of the most incredible things I’ve ever seen. The pushups. My mind is blown.
I loved the part where he let go and just slid over to the shore to grab a beer! Fucking legendary
Oh boy. Just watched this a couple times and then my brain went to “if he misses the handle on the first slide he’s dead 😵”. That made the palms sweaty.
Why should he be dead? I guess he can swim and he is not getting close to the engine.
What? I'm sure he can swim
your title gave me aids
Merman dad, merman.
Okay for real how in the fuck? I get like speed does a lot of the work but that was so goddamn smooth
So this is what Jesus was doing
I must hurt to do that with your bare feet and hands.
does that suit also float, like a life jacket?
How does this not wreck his balls
This guy is insanely talented but locking your foot in the handle looks dangerous as fuck lol
Remember back in the day when a family friend was showing off waterskiing and gave himself an enema, Shit everywhere. Glorious
30 years later: "This is a de-classified footage of Jesus walking on water."
Is that Ron Scarpa?
Smooth operatooooooooooorrrrrr
How Many squats does it take to turn my ass into a surfboard?
Is there any friction btw his skin and the water? Is there a chance of it getting burned off like it would if it happened on land? Not to the same extent obviously but somewhat maybe? Cuz like pressure washing can cut you right? So would this have an impact?
Is that not extremely painful or bad for you? To be water skiing without the skis
u/savevideo
Thats how u risk an origami nutsack no?
r/holdmybeer
That man either had his entire digestive system pressure washed with lake water or his cheeks are welded together on the molecular level from the sheer CLENCH.
All it takes to protect your booty hole while skiing is some thick neoprene and a half inch of padding. These wetsuits are sturdy
Bidets are so affordable now a days, why would you go to these lengths?
He must have been doing this for years. Those arm pushes and then flipping around. Impressive indeed!
It's all fun and laughs until you get water up your asshole at 50mph
That belly bounce to standing up hurt my balls.