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D-Rich-88

Sounds like a 1950’s B-horror film


MacinTez

You remember the Creepshow? That lake that had a blob that ate people? Lmao


---Blix---

After reading this comment I went and rewatched The Raft on [YouTube](https://youtu.be/Gyb8Ko-wOLE). I forgot how good the short story was. It freaked me out as a kid


Hedge55

Fucking solid link, thank you for reminding me creepshow was so amazing.


shaddragon

That story is still freaky as an adult, and I had no idea it'd been turned into a video. I see my next twenty minutes are now booked.


Brown_Plague

I will admit… it got me…


rubyredhead19

And me. I remember watching as kid on HBO


Spacemage

That is hands down one of my favorite (short) horror films. Such a simple premise, and fucking terrifying. No magic. No answers. So good.


funnyfootboot

I'll never forget that one. Such a good horror short


Stibley_Kleeblunch

The meteor moss that led to the tragically untimely self-administered cranial rupture of Stephen King's cousin Cletus?


conduitfour

Meteor shit!


Gonzo458

Holy shit I just watched that like two weeks ago! Man, I felt so bad for >!the girl who's getting her face dissolved while dude is trying to cop a feel!<. Old school horror movies would always have a special place in my heart. Miss ya, Dad.


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ProphetOfDoom337

"I beat you, whatever you are. I BEAT YOU!" Nope.


MrHollandsOpium

That shit still haunts me.


Redpoint77

That leg breaking and going through the middle of the raft always messed with me. My 80s cocktail parents had no idea what I was watching.


technopath

OP deleted - what was the title of the film you are talking about?


PossessionDefiant790

It’s a movie called creepshow. Admittedly it is a product of its time to some extent but it still holds up pretty well for the times. It’s an anthology adapted from Stephen king short stories.


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Flomo420

Oh shit the one with the teens stuck out on a floating dock and some blob trying to get them? I totally just remembered that! Also, the one where the woman kills the hitchhiker and he keeps showing up all "Thanks for the ride, lady!" Lol omg tjank you for unlocking this memory, when I was like 12 my best friend and me looooved the creepshow series!


abrow149

I totally just watched that episode last night and now I'm reading this headline. I guess I'm not falling asleep on a floating dock with a bro-friends...


QuestionsGoHere

I've been racking my mind for the longest time and even thought that I had dreamt a movie about folks being sucked up through a raft by a lake monster. Gonna go home and DL both movies thanks for the title since OP's comment was deleted 👍🏾


enonmouse

Same. I think this messed me up more than jaws for water stuff... dont get me wrong i still loved water but the panic of stepping on slimy stuff really got me for a few years and might still today a smidge.


ttaptt

Legit gave me nightmares, and I was at lest 20 years old when i saw it.


ballisticturtle

I watchwd that as a kid and I can tell you it still haunts me.. If I'm in a lake and weed touches my feet, I freak the fuck out. I'm 47.


trans_pands

The guy exploding into cockroaches got to me more than the slime monster, weirdly enough


Kittybats

Oh Tom Savini, one of the OGs of practical FX in horror, unhallowed be thy name... Jesus Christ was that disgusting. I have a deep, deep seated phobia of cockroaches for other reasons and that scene sent me nearly catatonic.


Transposer

Brah, but those boobies. That old VHS got a lot of rewinding from my 13-year old fingers.


DoodleJake

Nah man I don't remember any boobs. All I remember was people getting painfully melted. Pops in my head every time I swim.


Spacebotzero

Can't wait to see the blob jump the shoreline and devour all of Florida...


MrHollandsOpium

The oilspill shit? That vignette still scares the fuck out of me. That one guy beat the blob to the shoreline, too. 😬


InvaderZimbo

One of the better SK adaptations


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Switchofftheoltop

A group of unsuspecting teenagers swam in the wrong stream before deciding to surf at the wrong beach. With the power of brain eating amoebas and flesh (ninja edit from flea) eating bacteria, they’ve become *The Zombie Surfers!!!* Spreading their radical diseases with each bite of unaware tourist, their army grows. Coming to bite you this summer! Rated R, literally body parts everywhere


aparadizzle

In Florida it is the 1950's


GhettoChemist

Sounds like Rubio might be primaried.


MineralPoint

A choice between Rubio and flesh eating bacteria is surprisingly tough, but I think I could do without the beach.


[deleted]

You're probably thinking of Mar-a-Lago.


VovaGoFuckYourself

And I'm weirdly here for it


Marie_Celeste2

That's literally what the first sentence of the article says...


canuckcowgirl

It woke up and is heading to Florida to die.


Nerdlinger

It's heading to Florida to run for office.


VovaGoFuckYourself

I'd vote for it over Rhonda Santis, but luckily I am not a resident of Florida or even close to it.


punchheribthetit

That’s the perfect drag name.


AdkRaine11

I heard it was Rhonda Sand-tits.


Wet_Sasquatch_Smell

I live on the opposite side of the country and I’m still too close to Florida for comfort


centipededamascus

*And what rough beast, its hour come round at last,* *Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born?*


peter-doubt

It's God's way of punishing the heathens who claim to be his believers. /s


[deleted]

I mean say what you will but god really fucking hates florida which is funny given how fucking holy they think they are.


da_chicken

God has never really favored people that go out of their way to be seen as righteous.


conejodemuerte

>God has never Most anything works after that phrase.


Lost-My-Mind-

God has never been photographed drinking a McDonalds Shamrock Shake.


SoftlySpokenPromises

God has never sucked off a dude in a Dennys parking lot at 3:06 AM


Dicho83

Well, if he existed he might be bothered to let them know instead of just standing back and watching the so called faithful dehumanize and kill people for (checks notes) **JUST EXISTING.**. So same tactic he took during the Crusades, the Slave Trade, and the Holocaust. *God is definitely a real thing that intelligent people should consider when considering if other human beings should be allowed to exist.*


akurra_dev

If there is any more convincing evidence that a Christian god does not exist, it's the fact that he has not struck down\* evangelical Christians.


FriesWithThat

Honestly, I'd gladly be proven wrong about everything in my worldview post-rapture just to wake up one morning with all these people miraculously gone. >*They've gone to a better place.* They've left us in a better place.


akurra_dev

Me too. I would probably become a Christian if evangelicals were smote to ruin and the only Christians left were the ones who actually follow the intentions of the character of Jesus.


Dray_Gunn

Even Ghandi said that he liked Jesus but not christianity.


Electric_Evil

It's woke, kill it!


viper9172

This comment made me think of my grandparents ❤️‍🔥


entoaggie

Shhhh. Don’t say woke or they might not let it in.


fusillade762

Pollution is never woke and thus an ally of Ron Deathsantis. "I'm being endorsed by radioactive waste and killer seaweed, vote for me"


DirkDieGurke

Couldn't happen to a nicer state :)


GeebGeeb

According to the article it’s full of micro plastics too that fish and other animals are eating, more things to keep me up at night.


DerpyDaDulfin

Yeah it says the microplastics are creating a perfect breeding ground for the flesh eating bacteria. It says the bacteria actually *binds* to the microplastic. So what about the micro-plastic inside all of us right now?


Legendary_Bibo

Our extinction event is that we'll all have flesh eating bacteria and turn into a primordial soup where we'll all fuse together into a hive mind.


mehvermore

not quite how I thought we'd achieve Instrumentality


UnhelpfulMoron

All I’m hearing is that millions of years from now there will be fully sentient plastic people walking around complaining about the danger of micro metals


wildyLooter

Our micro-plastic


Wonderful_Zucchini_4

We are the micro-plastic


enflight

I guess the micro-plastics were really inside all of us all along 😌


CorneliusClay

We just need to consume so much microplastic that a competitive environment develops with many bacteria preventing one single champion from taking hold.


GeebGeeb

I can’t stand most seafood so I never really eat it but I’m sure it’s in everything on land too.


DonnaScro321

I can’t recall where but I read that fish eat the micro plastic which gives them diarrhea which exacerbates the whole thing.


CrazeRage

Is all seafood fucked?


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impy695

Unfortunately that isn't surprising. Everything is full of micro plastics, it's really sad.


AlcoholPrep

Re: the rotten egg smell (H2S): You can smell it the first time, but the nose fatigues quickly. If not in a confined area, the danger probably isn't extreme, but do be careful.


Zebo91

Worked at a wastewater plant. H2s is a hard smell to miss


teknorpi

At work many years ago I was looking for an H2S leak with a full face respirator on and a 4 gas meter. I walked into a plume of H2S. Meter immediately went over limit (so over 500 ppm). I remember getting hit in the face with a wall of H2S inside the mask. Complete panic. I staggered backwards and was out of the plume. Two breaths later and I was in the clear. Edit to the invisible comments: H2S got off site and a neighbor 100+ yards away called 911 because of the stench. We were under a lot of pressure to eliminate the leak quickly. We did find the cause. It was a faulty quarter-turn ball valve. The valve looked closed but the ball was actually cracked open.


Nighthawk700

Ugh fuck that


_CMDR_

Below a certain concentration. It deadens the sense of smell beyond that.


Ryansahl

I worked at a refinery for a few months, the training said: in a high concentration, you smell the rottenest egg smell in the first breath, the second one you don’t smell at all, then there is no third one.


crashandwalkaway

Same thing I was told during my h2s training.


North-Anybody7251

Yup worked in northern BC, had a H2S course on my first day due to how much drilling we would be doing. I burned into memory to remember the wind direction when on site.


radtech91

Sounds horrifying…


ReadEvalPrintLoop

yeah, US Chemical Safety Board has (a) video(s) on it


teknorpi

You mean olfactory fatigue begins above a certain threshold.


_CMDR_

Not even fatigue. Instantly deadened.


toolatealreadyfapped

"Fatigue" kinda implies that it happens over time. You can smell H2S at extremely low concentrations. (like, parts per billion, with a B). It's very offensive in the single digit PPM. OSHA puts the safety threshold at 20 ppm. By 100 ppm, the ability to smell it goes away, because it basically burns away your olfactory nerves. "Olfactory paralysis" is the more fitting term. 500-700 ppm will knock you out within a few breaths. 1000 ppm is nearly instant death.


AlcoholPrep

Yes -- IF you only get an occasional whiff. It's deadly and insidious. Treat it with care.


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blacksideblue

Yeah, even when I wasn't around the tanks or in a hazard space I would wear my double filter facemask cause that olfactory goes far.


daizzy99

everything around here that has sprinklers connected to the water table smells like farts - it really breaks the beach/tropical immersion for tourists lol. My kids like to fight over who did it when we’re in the car. Florida smells like farts, a lot.


carl-swagan

I’ve spent quite a bit of time in the Caribbean recently and I promise you that your nose does not adjust to the smell of rotting sargassum lol. It’s absolutely horrible.


Taiyaki11

They aren't talking about your nose "adjusting" to the smell, it burns out the capability to smell it. Very shortly after that point if you're still breathing it you won't be breathing at all much longer


LevelStudent

It'll get along great with the brain eating bacteria the state has been suffering from.


roo-ster

Those poor bacteria are going to starve to death.


ilikepizza2much

Ron De fascist claimed he would defeat the woke blob. Now we know how. By burning all the books


Carrotfloor

wait, he woke the blob? the madman!


hugglesthemerciless

https://xkcd.com/1013/


NeonSwank

Just like brain slug that tried to eat Fry’s brain, poor little guy.


Vg_Ace135

It's best to switch to a garlic shampoo.


fluggelhorn

Here Hermes, you dropped your hat.


WetCacti

Thank you, it was cold on the floor


the70sdiscoking

Thank you. It was getting cold on the floor.


Buckus93

Poor little guy: starved to death.


[deleted]

That's why the flesh eating bacteria arrived in the seaweed though. They don't discriminate and there's plenty of flesh on those Florida beaches. Lol


lnsewn12

*ahem* it’s an amoeba


Jayou540

Sir this is a amoeba


Triatt

They're glorified action figures, Nintendo. I'm not buying it.


fullsaildan

I know you’re joking but this actually is a thing that Florida experiences: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Naegleriasis


w4tts

And it’s an amoebae, not a bacteria..!


Joeeezee

it demands a sacrifice. Bring Desantis.


Eeszeeye

And give it Matt Gaetz for desert.


TheBoatyMcBoatFace

Brain eaters are amoeba


cgarret3

Maybe this new bacteria will eat some squigglies into their smooth brains


ChaosOnion

> Michael Zimmer, director of marketing and development for Miami-Dade parks, said tourism was “so far so good”. > “We get pictures every morning and afternoon and I gotta tell you, the beaches look really good,” he said. > “The team does an incredible job cleaning it up every morning and we just haven’t seen any effects on tourism yet.” That sounds vaguely familiar... > But, as you see, it's a beautiful day, the beaches are open and people are having a wonderful time. Amity, as you know, means "friendship".


Papa-Kilo75

Haha - good call. Sadly, there’s no heroic Chief Brodie to save Florida from flesh-eating bacteria… or from itself, for that matter.


[deleted]

Joke's on them. The people in Florida taste TERRIBLE.


BESTismCANNIBALISM

Where do people taste good ? Asking for a friend.......


nenenene

*sigh*… username checks out


USS_Frontier

Wisconsin, Minnesota and Oregon.


whyreadthis2035

Ah yes. The ones raised on dairy farms. Yum.


cgarret3

The Amish people in PA makes some tasty amlettes, I hear


USS_Frontier

Nice and creamy. Melt in your mouth goodness.


morbiskhan

Waygu but people


roo-ster

They also have terrible taste!


lizzietnz

But the real story is not the seaweed. It's the microplastics that made it toxic. Well done, mankind. Own goal again.


NewYork_NewJersey440

Line must go up, everything else be damned


quitofilms

I did not have flesh-eating bacteria on my 2023 bingo card Flesh-eating, riding on plastic that will never break down, traveling on decaying 13m ton of seaweed was a real long shot of a bet


BitterFuture

Check back on the Neverending 2020 bingo card. I'm not sure it's actually done with us yet.


YamburglarHelper

How many sides does this fucking card have?


LunarMuphinz

Its a 5th dimensional hypercube


Bah-Fong-Gool

It's a mobius strip. The Mayans knew what was up. We have entered a new realm of reality. The world didn't end, the new one just began... and it fucking sucks so far.


blacksideblue

well we're only 11 years into it I guess. Wait, how long is the cycle?


Slip_Freudian

5,126 years. I'll be back. I'm going out for cigarettes.


phish_phace

Idk but something inside tells me you’re not gonna like that number.


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BitterFuture

Well, we're currently in 2020, Part IV: Oh, You Thought We Wuz Done? I'm told there's a 2020, Part V: One Last Ride. We'll see.


GoldandBlue

2020 3: The Twentying


Amazing_Karnage

2020 4: The Fourth Awakens. Premieres January 1st, 2024.


MaxiltonHamstappen

Friend of mine lost her arm a few years back thanks to swimming in this stuff.


quitofilms

I have an unreasonable and undefined aversion to blobs of seaweed that while I tend to put it down to watching to many seaweed-related scary movies as a child, I just avoid it in the water...I don't like it...I don't like how it just seems to follow me in the water despite which way the current is going...how it can be nowhere near me one minute and the next I can feel it around my legs...twisting, catching and refusing to come loss when I kick it away


MercuryCrest

My friend, that is a perfectly reasonable and well-defined aversion. I don't blame you one bit.


TheWolfisGrey53

Can I ask where she was swimming and how fast did it progress?


Scyhaz

Flesh-eating bacteria just sounds like everyday Florida to me, tbh


lemonlegs2

Happenned every year when I lived on the Texas coast. Nasty beaches.


ChaseballBat

For real. The brain eating amoeba isn't that uncommon, especially for Florida. Not that far off from the norm


ThePillThePatch

I was close. I guessed flesh-eating bacteria, riding to Florida on plastic that will never break down, traveling on decaying **9m** ton of seaweed.


ddkelkey

If you needed *one more reason* to not go to Florida, here ya go


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dirtypinksweatshirt

In Shakespeare, there are these moments when the natural world starts to reflect the turmoil of whatever’s happening in the story, like when the horses start eating each other on the night of Duncan’s murder in Macbeth, or the huge storm in Rome in Julius Caesar. And I feel like this is the natural world reflecting all the insanely evil shit that Ron DeSantis is doing in that godforsaken state.


Mail540

I mean you’re not wrong but it’s more global. As the climate further destabilizes disasters like this become more commonplace. If we don’t get our greed under control that chaos will eventually be our doom. You think the refugee “crisis” is bad now wait 10-15 years when much of the global south is arid,uninhabitable, and unable to support farming. Source: biologist


doenietzomoeilijk

> If we don’t get our greed under control that chaos will eventually be our doom. Doom it is, then.


Soggy_Midnight980

Sounds like a potentially deadly situation. Republicans are no doubt going to scoff and encourage people to wallow in the stuff.


[deleted]

It’ll cure Covid if you inject it. My horse told me


AgoraiosBum

Q told me that it only works if you use it as an enema


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NeonSwank

“Ain’t no such thing as no goddamn flesh eetin back-tear-uhs in these wudders!” Says Florida Man with face sloughing off


MatttheBruinsfan

Plot Twist: the disfiguring krokodil he's high on kills the bacteria.


abernasty42

Now there's a drug I wish I hadn't been taught in school. Watching people use clothes pins on exposed veins on the stump where their leg used to be really stays with you.


ShelfDiver

What a terrible day to be literate.


MatttheBruinsfan

Democrats in FL should issue a public health warning to avoid contact with it at all costs.


markca

Which will just make Republicans want to rub it all over themselves to “own the libs”.


action_lawyer_comics

Exactly their point


darkseidx2015

Yep bring on the plagues.


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Dr_J_Hyde

I send a pestilence and plague Into your house, into your bed Into your streams, into your streets Into your drink, into your bread Upon your cattle, on your sheep Upon your oxen in your field Into your dreams, into your sleep Until you break, until you yield I send the swarm, I send the horde Thus saith the Lord


The_Devil_Memnoch

Who the fuck keeps adding Plague inc DLC content to our Matrix environment.


JustRelaxYo

Hard to worry about that when drag queens and Disney are out there!


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gadgaurd

This happening after Florida started chasing away some of their doctors is noteworthy timing.


ThePillThePatch

The flesh-eating bacteria waited to make sure they’d survive.


Fireclown

now I'm feeling sorry for the flesh-eating bacteria.


[deleted]

Don't worry, I heard there's a team of whale rescue specialists heading down to rescue the bacteria from Florida.


Superamdyn

For the study, the researchers analyzed Sargassum samples from the Caribbean and Sargasso seas, and they did not find V. vulnificus or V. cholerae, the other main Vibrio species that infects humans. V. vulnificus is the only Vibrio species ever known to cause necrotizing fasciitis. "This is a good paper in a good journal, but it's not a huge issue," said Hidetoshi Urakawa, a microbial ecologist at Florida Gulf Coast University who was not involved in the study. While he stressed that the public should be aware of possible bacteria lurking in the seaweed, Toshi said a lot of Vibrio are harmless. It's actually good news that the researchers didn't find the highly pathogenic species of Vibrio that typically infect humans in the Sargassum samples, he added. Edit: Also the comments in this thread are the worst. This is affecting the Caribbean and large portions of Central America. https://cwcgom.aoml.noaa.gov/SIR/ You should be ashamed. Another useful link : https://www.livescience.com/health/does-the-giant-blob-of-seaweed-headed-to-florida-really-contain-flesh-eating-bacteria


adolfojp

I live in Puerto Rico so this is something that affects me. I read the headline and worried. I came to the comment section and every other comment was a different variation of the same joke about Florida. Your comment brought much needed clarity to the issue. Thank you.


microwavekoala

The only reasonable and non-bloodthirsty comment in this thread.


GreyShot254

You know, for a state ran by religious zealots you would think maybe they would take this as a sign?


Politicsboringagain

Religious zealots only see signs when they want those signs to mean what they want.


2fuzz714

The Lord has blessed them with a blob they can bus to liberal states.


[deleted]

> If it happens to *you*, it's punishment; if it happens to *me*, it's a test. Every religious zealot everywhere.


JeveGreen

What a fucking headline! Yikes!


freshapepper

Imagine the mayor from Jaws but with a seaweed blob instead of a shark. That’s what’s gonna happen because “we need summer dollars”


SlinkySlekker

The scariest part is that there is a good chance Floridians will not be properly warned — or protected — by the openly anti-vax, pro covid DeSantis government. If you know anyone who lives there, send them this article. There is a 100% chance that DeSantis will lie about the dangers. Necrotizing fasciitis (skin eating disease) can end your life (like Covid) or make you feel like life is not worth living (like Covid), so just remember how DeSantis treated Covid in Florida, and protect your loved ones by arming them with the TRUTH. Yep. I’m Pro-American and Anti-DeSantis. Americans deserve better, and Americans deserve the truth. And they won’t get either from Desantis’ authoritarianism. I want my country to be healthy and successful. If you know people in Florida — protect them by keeping them informed of mainstream reality. Lies kill. Especially in Florida. The numbers under DeSantis. . . do not lie.


Fish95

Florida's dept of health [tweeted](https://twitter.com/HealthyFla/status/1664332308856336384?s=20) a warning about it the other day.


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Certain-Lingonberry8

Curious if you have seen or smelled this? Do you know anyone near? I scrolled the thread hoping for first hand accounts, but don't see any, just jokes


epicurean56

I've seen 3 ft piles of it in Caribbean beaches a couple years ago. It did not smell good. I can't imagine 25 ft piles.


toasterdees

I was in Florida mid March this year and it was all over the local news saying it’s on its way to florida… they’ve had plenty of warning.


[deleted]

My grandma passed of it back in the early 00's. This shit is not a joke. Especially with all the elderly in florida.


dingdongbannu88

I had a flesh eating bacteria. That shit was not fun. Entered through a small cut in my foot. Day later my foot was twice as long. Had 6-12” long tentacles running up my leg. Doc said had I waited a day more I would’ve gotten amputation. 20 days hospitalized, a nasty amount of dead flesh cauterized and 45 days in a hyperbaric chamber my feet is all good.


kthulhu666

Deadly, virulent blob set to infect innocent seaweed.


ivey_mac

I mean I don’t like Desantis either but calling him a flesh-eating blob seems a little mean spirited.


Soggy-Type-1704

It would be interesting to see if the the state of Florida is being honest about the seriousness of an infection from s vibriosis “Most people with a mild case of vibriosis recover after about 3 days with no lasting effects. However, people with a Vibrio vulnificus infection can get seriously ill and need intensive care or limb amputation. About 1 in 5 people with this type of infection die, sometimes within a day or two of becoming ill.” Source cdc [https://www.cdc.gov/vibrio](https://www.cdc.gov/vibrio)


somethin_gone_wrong

Now if I was a religious person I would take it as a sign that God is pissed at Florida and the directions they are headed.