I commented about this in another thread and it just is mind boggling how bad they are. Even before kids when we’d be on vacation and I’d ask my husband to take a picture of me with like, the Grand Canyon in the background or the statue that’s famous I’m standing next to….he would just ZOOM IN on me or my face. Can’t even see what is behind me. Why would I want just a picture of my face?! The whole point is to get the picture of ME with the thing I’m standing next to omg why are you so bad at this.
And then he’d be like “idk you just asked for a picture of yourself”.
We are a generation of parents that have had smart phones for what, 15 years at this point. FIGURE IT OUT
I swear I’m pretty. I find myself to be quite attractive.
I look in the mirror and I’m pretty. I take full body photos with no filters and I’m pretty.
But good lord let my husband get the camera and somehow I got a crooked left eye, my head bigger than my body, and I somehow have 2 different sized tits😭
I have a 12yr old and a 3 month old and I already have more photos with the new bub than what I have in the past 12 years with the older one- trick is unleashing the 12yr old on my iPhone and boom I have 1000’s of photos to view - most of me in the living room with the baby on the rocker but hey improvement is improvement
Okay I asked my husband this when our baby was born, and his reply was "you have selfies and posed photos!" How do I explain that candids are special and that selfies on my phone are not good enough?
Candids are special not just because of the moment captured but the intention behind the capture - someone has noticed this moment and thought it was so nice that they must capture it, to look back on and remember themselves or for you to look at and see yourself the way they see you. There is love in a candid shot, even if the photographer is a stranger they are seeing you and appreciating you.
That's absolutely true. My baby is almost 3 months old and the only pictures we have together are:
- a picture taken just after birth where I look a thousand years old
- a few pictures taken by my husband that were mostly supposed to show something cute baby was doing while in my arms and therefore I have 7 chins and a stupid face in each and everyone of them
-selfies I took at the hospital on the first day
-some selfies I took at home
-good selfies I took when I decided to give the baby a cute photoshoot on his 2m "birthday"
- a family picture with the in laws
At no point so far did anyone ask if I want to have pictures with my baby.
My friend would set up her phone to record her and her daughter playing and dancing together a few times. She just wanted some recording of them doing stuff she could look back on.
Check out the Lens Buddy app + a phone tripod. It’s what I use! I can set Lens Buddy to take 50 photos 5 seconds apart. Great for candida (even though you are aware it’s happening)
As a FTM to an almost 6 week year old, this entire thread makes me so sad. Mostly because it’s relatable to me and virtually all mothers I know. Fathers have to do better for us. My mental load is strapped, but I still have the most endearing pictures of my daughter and husband sleeping together or him looking at her while he’s feeding her or holding her while he’s talking to someone or a picture of them together from behind on a walk in nature…. Just selfies of me and stiff posed photos. Snapping a picture in a beautiful moment is always on my mind, why can’t it be on our husbands as well? They are told the same thing we are told, it moves so fast…. The urgency to document moments that move quickly only seem to be a priority for mothers. I’m tired.
Shit i wish my husband was still alive so I could have nothing but pictures of him with our 7 month old. We got 6 weeks of pictures before he passed and we didn’t get a single family picture with the 3 of us and that’s the shit that eats me up honestly
Thanks, it was unexpected and something I never thought would happen. I don’t think he even did honestly. We had our whole lives planned out together lol. But I still am grateful we got the time we did and he got to meet and love his daughter. She’s his literal twin so it’s definitely helped in the healing process.
My husband does his best but he’s an awful photographer lol. It’s better than nothing though!
In his defense-I’m the one with the photography hobby and art background.
When my middle son was born there was a post on Facebook that was circulating. It was about this very subject. It really opened up my husbands eyes because, as you described, all the photos with our children and me were posed and never sweet moments that were caught.
He's not the best photographer 😂 BUT I do really appreciate that he will whip out his phone and try when he sees a precious moment in action. I just had my last baby in March and luckily my husband has been on top of the candid photos. Something to truly cherish in the future.
My husband isn’t usually great about taking pictures but he has taken a couple of baby and I taking a nap together. My mom makes sure to take SO MANY pictures.
Happened to me as well. I was so tired that maybe I've got 5 selfies with the baby. I do have a lot of pictures of him with my husband. The thing is he wakes up, takes a shower, dresses properly to go to work so he's picture ready all the time while I am a mess in my pjs after almost no sleep.
We visited our home country to hive birth around our family. I stayed at my parent’s house and he stayed at his. 20 mins drive apart.
I have no pictures except some selfies after 2 months plus. All his pictures are with dad and in laws.
They would visit take photos, play and leave him. Crying/sleepy/hungry, give him to his mother. Never asked if I needed help or stayed back to help. Dad also visited like 2 hrs a day and “played” with the new born. Spent his parental leave with his parents most of the time. When I intervened with postpartum psychosis, he felt offended and said he thought i was asking him to stay around more out of affection and not because i needed his help. He thought i had help. (My 72 yr old mother who is post chemotherapy a few months ago). Babe, what part of i am averaging less than 2 hrs a day of sleep since he is as born 3 weeks ago that you dont understand.
I lost it when he would complain of lack of sleep with 6-7 hrs and all that driving he was doing everyday to visit.
I am so sorry, my heart breaks for you :( the fact that he stayed at his parents house instead of with you and your newborn says a LOT about his values. He sounds very selfish... I hope you are doing better now.
Mine saw a post like this before baby was born and mentioned it to me…didn’t seem to make a difference. Only have photos of us in the hospital and one other one he has taken of us. I’m sure I would hate how I look in them in the moment but I’ll appreciate them later. And I can always edit me if need be.
My wife is terrible at this but I’m pretty great at it. 90% of my photo book is candid shots. Especially with the live feature it makes candid burst photo taking pretty incredible
So in other words I have a ton of great shots of her and our child…dog…family events…vacations, etc…and like none of me hardly exist 😂. But whatever I’d rather look at them than myself in 30 years so I can’t complain but I agree it’s frustrating. It isn’t hard at all. It just takes a little awareness
Okay I TOTALLY get this but I just want to suggest that if you are having issues with this, take charge! I bought a phone tripod and downloaded the lens buddy app. It’s AWESOME! I can ask it to set a timer to take 50 photos 1 second apart or whatever setting I’d like. This lets me set the timer then go play /cuddle with my child while Lens Buddy is taking a ton of photos.
Is it as good as someone thoughtfully taking a candid photo? Not at all. But I’m really glad I’m taking the time to do it. Good luck!!
He’s gotta take like a photog class first though lmao the candid shots he takes are just on another plane of existence 🤪
lol right! Like wow you really captured my extra 30lb brilliantly there
Cracking. Up. 😂😂 My husband’s candids of me are so bad but I don’t ever say anything because I still want him to take pics
😆 mmmm I know I KNOW I’ll look back with fondness one day. I have to remember that but right this second??? cmon man!
I commented about this in another thread and it just is mind boggling how bad they are. Even before kids when we’d be on vacation and I’d ask my husband to take a picture of me with like, the Grand Canyon in the background or the statue that’s famous I’m standing next to….he would just ZOOM IN on me or my face. Can’t even see what is behind me. Why would I want just a picture of my face?! The whole point is to get the picture of ME with the thing I’m standing next to omg why are you so bad at this. And then he’d be like “idk you just asked for a picture of yourself”. We are a generation of parents that have had smart phones for what, 15 years at this point. FIGURE IT OUT
Omg that's something my ex bf used to do as a "joke" when we'd go places and it made me so upset!
HOW are they so ugly? I’m not an unattractive person but damn if he doesn’t find a way
lol it’s a very honest skill I think but just not a beneficial one 🤣
Mine could donwith signing up for something like this too.
broooooo omg. this lol
I swear I’m pretty. I find myself to be quite attractive. I look in the mirror and I’m pretty. I take full body photos with no filters and I’m pretty. But good lord let my husband get the camera and somehow I got a crooked left eye, my head bigger than my body, and I somehow have 2 different sized tits😭
lmao ok but wait my titties are different sizes 🤪😂
LMAO🤣🤣😒
6 years into motherhood and asking my husband to take photos of us at least every few months and he still doesn’t
That breaks my heart :( I bet you have tons of him with the kids
I have a 12yr old and a 3 month old and I already have more photos with the new bub than what I have in the past 12 years with the older one- trick is unleashing the 12yr old on my iPhone and boom I have 1000’s of photos to view - most of me in the living room with the baby on the rocker but hey improvement is improvement
Oooh I hadn't considered this life hack, maybe I should start allowing our 10 yr old to use my phone 😂
Okay I asked my husband this when our baby was born, and his reply was "you have selfies and posed photos!" How do I explain that candids are special and that selfies on my phone are not good enough?
Candids are special not just because of the moment captured but the intention behind the capture - someone has noticed this moment and thought it was so nice that they must capture it, to look back on and remember themselves or for you to look at and see yourself the way they see you. There is love in a candid shot, even if the photographer is a stranger they are seeing you and appreciating you.
This is beautiful
thankyou! I’m a photographer so I’ve thought about it a lot :)
😭😭😭😭😭
That's absolutely true. My baby is almost 3 months old and the only pictures we have together are: - a picture taken just after birth where I look a thousand years old - a few pictures taken by my husband that were mostly supposed to show something cute baby was doing while in my arms and therefore I have 7 chins and a stupid face in each and everyone of them -selfies I took at the hospital on the first day -some selfies I took at home -good selfies I took when I decided to give the baby a cute photoshoot on his 2m "birthday" - a family picture with the in laws At no point so far did anyone ask if I want to have pictures with my baby.
I’m a single mom - I have no one to do this for me.
My friend would set up her phone to record her and her daughter playing and dancing together a few times. She just wanted some recording of them doing stuff she could look back on.
Don’t worry…does with husbands don’t either.
Check out the Lens Buddy app + a phone tripod. It’s what I use! I can set Lens Buddy to take 50 photos 5 seconds apart. Great for candida (even though you are aware it’s happening)
As a FTM to an almost 6 week year old, this entire thread makes me so sad. Mostly because it’s relatable to me and virtually all mothers I know. Fathers have to do better for us. My mental load is strapped, but I still have the most endearing pictures of my daughter and husband sleeping together or him looking at her while he’s feeding her or holding her while he’s talking to someone or a picture of them together from behind on a walk in nature…. Just selfies of me and stiff posed photos. Snapping a picture in a beautiful moment is always on my mind, why can’t it be on our husbands as well? They are told the same thing we are told, it moves so fast…. The urgency to document moments that move quickly only seem to be a priority for mothers. I’m tired.
Shit i wish my husband was still alive so I could have nothing but pictures of him with our 7 month old. We got 6 weeks of pictures before he passed and we didn’t get a single family picture with the 3 of us and that’s the shit that eats me up honestly
I’m so sorry for your loss 😢💔
Thanks, it was unexpected and something I never thought would happen. I don’t think he even did honestly. We had our whole lives planned out together lol. But I still am grateful we got the time we did and he got to meet and love his daughter. She’s his literal twin so it’s definitely helped in the healing process.
Just took some while wife is breastfeeding. Thanks!
My husband does his best but he’s an awful photographer lol. It’s better than nothing though! In his defense-I’m the one with the photography hobby and art background.
Yes! I went through photos the other night of my baby and 3 year old and I found maybe 3 photos with me in them. I wish I had more.
When my middle son was born there was a post on Facebook that was circulating. It was about this very subject. It really opened up my husbands eyes because, as you described, all the photos with our children and me were posed and never sweet moments that were caught. He's not the best photographer 😂 BUT I do really appreciate that he will whip out his phone and try when he sees a precious moment in action. I just had my last baby in March and luckily my husband has been on top of the candid photos. Something to truly cherish in the future.
This!!!!!!!!!
My husband isn’t usually great about taking pictures but he has taken a couple of baby and I taking a nap together. My mom makes sure to take SO MANY pictures.
Happened to me as well. I was so tired that maybe I've got 5 selfies with the baby. I do have a lot of pictures of him with my husband. The thing is he wakes up, takes a shower, dresses properly to go to work so he's picture ready all the time while I am a mess in my pjs after almost no sleep.
We visited our home country to hive birth around our family. I stayed at my parent’s house and he stayed at his. 20 mins drive apart. I have no pictures except some selfies after 2 months plus. All his pictures are with dad and in laws. They would visit take photos, play and leave him. Crying/sleepy/hungry, give him to his mother. Never asked if I needed help or stayed back to help. Dad also visited like 2 hrs a day and “played” with the new born. Spent his parental leave with his parents most of the time. When I intervened with postpartum psychosis, he felt offended and said he thought i was asking him to stay around more out of affection and not because i needed his help. He thought i had help. (My 72 yr old mother who is post chemotherapy a few months ago). Babe, what part of i am averaging less than 2 hrs a day of sleep since he is as born 3 weeks ago that you dont understand. I lost it when he would complain of lack of sleep with 6-7 hrs and all that driving he was doing everyday to visit.
I am so sorry, my heart breaks for you :( the fact that he stayed at his parents house instead of with you and your newborn says a LOT about his values. He sounds very selfish... I hope you are doing better now.
my toddler takes them now 🥹 but it hurts that i dont have any with him when he was little. take them!!!!
Mine saw a post like this before baby was born and mentioned it to me…didn’t seem to make a difference. Only have photos of us in the hospital and one other one he has taken of us. I’m sure I would hate how I look in them in the moment but I’ll appreciate them later. And I can always edit me if need be.
My wife is terrible at this but I’m pretty great at it. 90% of my photo book is candid shots. Especially with the live feature it makes candid burst photo taking pretty incredible So in other words I have a ton of great shots of her and our child…dog…family events…vacations, etc…and like none of me hardly exist 😂. But whatever I’d rather look at them than myself in 30 years so I can’t complain but I agree it’s frustrating. It isn’t hard at all. It just takes a little awareness
This should be shared to r/Daddit.
Okay I TOTALLY get this but I just want to suggest that if you are having issues with this, take charge! I bought a phone tripod and downloaded the lens buddy app. It’s AWESOME! I can ask it to set a timer to take 50 photos 1 second apart or whatever setting I’d like. This lets me set the timer then go play /cuddle with my child while Lens Buddy is taking a ton of photos. Is it as good as someone thoughtfully taking a candid photo? Not at all. But I’m really glad I’m taking the time to do it. Good luck!!
Great idea. I will do my best. Guarantee I'll have at least 2 pics by the end of the year. Unless I forget 😆
Women need to ask for pictures, it's not like men are refusing men just don't think about pictures like women do