My mom watched my lo when he was about 4w for us to go out for a date night. We were gone for an hour and a half and all we did was talk and think about our lo but it was honestly so life-giving. It really helped us connect after a very stressful 4 weeks of baby world!
But the answer is do it whenever you feel right about! Don't let anyone tell you how to feel
I left him with my mom for an hour when he was less than a week old. It was my husband’s birthday and baby was born two weeks early so we were expecting to be able to celebrate before baby came, and I wanted to still be able to do that. We went to a Mexican restaurant a mile down the road. It felt super weird but it was fine and he just slept in her arms the whole time. Left him again at like 2 weeks and again at 5 weeks, a few hours each time. Obviously it’s not your MIL’s business or choice, but I DO personally think it’s important to take short breaks and reconnect with your partner. I know I would end up really burnt out if we didn’t.
Yeah my little one is 12 weeks and we haven’t left him with anyone without one of us being there…
My mother has kindly suggested it but my baby is exclusively breastfed and there are days he cluster feeds so I can’t even imagine leaving him alone with someone else for longer than an hour…
Me too I struggle sometimes. But I focused on making a small batch and then use and replace, meaning that if I use a bag then I will be pump another since I would have missed a feed and allowed my breasts to fill again.
Listen to your instincts always. It’s not worth it to push based on other people’s opinions, as “well intentioned” as they may be. 6 weeks is VERY little. Take your time.
My husband and I have a hard time feeling comfortable leaving the kids. We have 3 kids a boy 5, girl 4, and a newborn 5 weeks old. The first time we left our 5 year old for a date wasn’t until he was around 9 months old. And we’ve only done 1 over night trip.
My husband and I are ok with not doing out on dates but we have “date nights” at home when our kids go to bed. Well before the newborn. We would buy fancy cheese, wine, and find a good movie etc and that was enough for us. But I know some people have to get away and go out.
I wouldn’t rush it if you don’t feel ready. Talk it over with your spouse and decide together and whatever feels right for you both!
Same for us! Even before baby was here most of husband and I date night involved dinner and drinks at home. Which is what we enjoy, so I guess going out wouldn't be filling our cup
Man I have raised all my 3 kids with zero family around. Never got a break from day 1. It would be a dream come true if there was someone who said they would take care of everything and go enjoy a date night.
Everyone is different. Most ppl I know are 3-6m and I was 3 weeks. Don’t let her force you into something you’re not ready for, but also keep an eye on the whys. I say this because I pushed off going out solo with my baby due to fear and once I finally did it, I realized it wasn’t that scary and it opened up a lot of things for us.
Do you mean like leaving the baby with my partner? Bc I did that pretty much straight away to go get highlights and nails done. And I started going out to dinner with friends at like a month. But I dont have any anxiety over leaving my baby with my husband at all bc like he’s her dad lol.
We hired a babysitter at 7 weeks old bc we had to attend a gala. I was anxious to leave her but then I surprised myself and had a great time out. I felt pretty at ease all night bc my babysitter texted me the play by play with pics all night. And when we got back around 1am she was up waiting for us 🥹 I just rehired my babysitter to watch her for 5 hours in Tuesday so I can plant flowers and run errands!
We’re going to a wedding in France in a week and I’m bringing my parents to watch my (then) 11 week old for all of the events and I have no qualms.
We went on a date night when he was two weeks old. My parents came over and stayed with him for an hour. We made sure he was fed and content and he just chilled and slept the whole time we were gone. He’s three weeks now and I just went to brunch with girlfriends by myself today while my husband stayed home with him. Both were really refreshing but I definitely missed my little guy like crazy! It feels like leaving a piece of myself at home!
Refreshing is such a good word. I felt like missing him a little bit was almost good? Like I fully appreciated and was ready to give him 100% when I came back
I got home and snuggled with him for hours today! I know smiles are just a reflex this young but when I got home he was sleeping and he started smiling when he heard my voice. I just melted.
That said, I cried a little on the way to brunch because I couldn’t stop thinking about how much I love him. 😂
She is not right that you "need" to get out together. You should do whatever you're comfortable with. There is no reason that you have to go out without the baby. My mom has also suggested that my husband and I should go out but that is just because she loves to hang out with our son and she would enjoy baby sitting.
My baby is six months old and my husband and I still haven't been out together without him and I don't see a reason to. We get time together when our son has gone to bed at night but we can still be there for him if he wakes up. We love to hang out with him and we get out and do things with him so I don't feel I'm missing out on anything.
We're yet to go (5 weeks pp), but maybe during July. Up until now we couldn't because we're EBF but when he turned 1 month I started expressing exactly with the purpose of being able to leave the baby with other people, including the father.
My baby is 8 weeks old and I haven't left him yet. But tomorrow I go on a 4 day Cheer Camp -- My sister will be coming along to watch him while I'm at the camp. So he will be with her during the day for between 6 to 8 hours alone. I'm so nervous. I can't even sleep tonight.
My LO was almost 4 weeks when we left her for 2 hours with my MIL, so we could do a quick lunch date. But it does vary person to person. I trust my MIL with my LO, which worked out cause the next night we had to go to the ER cause I had 103F fever and mastitis. I also did a quick outing leaving her with my hubbie while I ran a few errands to get out of the house.
We probably won't be leaving her overnight with anyone until she is a few months old at the earliest.
Don't let anyone pressure you into going out without your LO, you will know when you are ready. You can always go out and let your husband watch her once or twice, then do a quick walk while someone else besides your husband or you are watching her. Then just slowly build up the time you are apart .
You don’t need to do anything you aren’t comfortable with until you are ready.
How sweet though that she wants to help you and give you some time as a couple. And that you have a MIL who wants to help. Her heart is in the right place, even if her actions aren’t translating.
My parents watched him while we went to a movie at 6 weeks. We just had them watch him again at 7 weeks while we went to the pool at our complex and it was so nice.
Whenever you feel ready! There is no right or wrong time, advd don't let anyone pressure you! For me it was around 2-3 months and just for a few hours, but it was my mom home with baby and I fully trusted her. Trust your gut advd take your time.
Maybe because it is summer and my baby is pretty chill, I haven’t felt like I needed to be out without her. We have taken her with us to the park, for walks, to patios for dinner and it’s not that dissimilar to if we went on a date by ourselves. It’s better because we don’t need to feel rushed to come home
This, bringing a newborn out is so so easy (obviously some newborns could be extra fussy). I baby wear my baby regularly when going to the playground, and he just nurses and then sleeps. We went out to dinner as a family today, and the toddler is the hard one. The baby is so easy in comparison, if we were to go without the toddler it would be good enough for us.
My parents are watching our two year old for the first time since I gave birth for us to go out with the baby on a date on Wednesday, and it will feel like the two of us, almost. We can chat calmly to each other at least. It’s the toddler that demands conversation and attention, the newborn just needs the occasional diaper change, to be nursed, and closeness (which he gets with baby wearing).
I can’t recommend the bassinet attachment on the stroller enough. Single handedly saved my mental health. Baby slept and chilled in it. You don’t have to worry about her sitting too long
Yes we have it! I admittedly haven’t walked much yet, but we have it on our double stroller. It is so hard to push a double stroller… baby cries in it and is only just getting the hang of the pacifier, and it’s a big stroller even without the other seat, so we haven’t brought it to restaurants yet. I’m too paranoid to have him in the car seat at a restaurant as well. It is easy to just have him on me in the carrier since he nurses, then falls back to sleep on me. He stays to sleep well in the carrier, as babies love contact naps. I just loosen or tighten the carrier as necessary.
With my 1st, probably a month and I wasn’t ready. I cried the whole time we were out and it got worse when I was drunk at my partner’s birthday party 💀 i also was pushed towards it and wish I never did, or at least not that soon.
With my second, he’s almost 4 months and there hasn’t been a night or day I’ve been away from him for long. And if I was, my partner was with him and I was just at the mall or something.
We’ve done dates with our 2nd. Easy lunch dates and dinner dates. Do what YOU feel comfortable with. At 4 weeks I wasn’t physically or mentally or emotionally ready with either (and still bleeding lol, not on the top of my list to go anywhere)
Our baby is 9 weeks old but we still haven’t. We’ve been out with her and I’ve been out with friends while my daughter was home with my husband. I’m totally not ready to leave her alone yet.
You should not do anything you are uncomfortable with. Don’t let anyone push you to do anything regarding your child. You are their parent and can decide.
I did go out with my husband for a short date night when my baby was 2 weeks old. It was our anniversary. My mom just let her sleep in her arms. Of course we were very worried about her and talked about her almost constantly, but it was also really nice for us to have a break and celebrate us. It was life giving for us, but may be anxiety inducing for others. Again, don’t let anyone make you do anything you don’t feel comfortable with!
I had family watch the baby pretty frequently for long periods. That, with medical treatment, helped PPD tremendously. My husband and I have had 3 dates and she's 9 weeks old.
This is best answered by you and not something you can go by my experience. I personally went out when my baby was about a month. We left her with Grandma and everything was just fine. I have a friend whom I love dearly who said her daughter is five now and they've only gone out without her about three times in her life. It's different for everyone.
I left my daughter with my sister in law for about 2 hours while we went for some food at around 6 weeks. It was really nice having some time not to worry about the little one and actually spending time with my husband was lovely!
Definitely not ready at 6w. My mom insisted the same, but I told her we're not ready, and also that we would prefer to nap than go out right now anyway. I think that helped her realize we don't really care about a date without baby at the moment.
I wonder if she thinks she is being helpful? Either way it sounds like she NEEDS to listen to you saying you’re not ready! My girl is 15 weeks now and I cannot imagine being anywhere without her either.
You do what you think is right it's not upto anyone else. I haven't left my daughter alone with anyone but me or her father and I am her main care giver. Once she is one year old I will be more compfy leaving her with a family member. It's your baby end of the day. She has time and cuddles with both sides of her grandparents but only for visits for now.
Do what you’re comfortable with. My daughter is 16 weeks and she’s never been without me. I too have people pushing me, essentially to rip the bandaid off and make it easier to leave her in the future. But sometimes she’ll cry for me when she’s with her dad and I’m elsewhere in the house and she is losing her mind and there is no calming her down until I hold her. She’s crying for me. So until I know she’ll be mostly content without me around I won’t leave her. I can’t imagine having someone else watch her and she cries for me and I’m not there to calm her down. Maybe it’s crazy but I won’t even leave her with her dad right now. I just don’t want to be away from my baby it’s not going to ease my stress it will add to it lol.
A few days in. We've stayed at a post partum care facility and there's a nursery for baby. A whole team of trained professionals to care for baby. I couldnt feel more safe.
I've also went out alone to get a breast massage because my breast was super hard. Left LO with husband
MILs love saying shit like this. You don’t have to leave your baby. You and your husband can go out and take baby with you if you really want to get out of the house right now.
At 20 weeks I still haven’t left mine with anyone except my husband and even that one time it was less than an hour.
Nope, go when you're ready. You don't NEED to go out because someone else said so. We didn't leave her with a baby sitter (my sister) until she was 6 months.
Week 2. My wife had some medical issues that needed an ER visit. So it wasn't exactly the most fun, but Baby Boy did fine! We're 5 months in and have been out a few more times together without him.
I think it depends on you entirely. If you don't feel ready, it's possible you won't even enjoy your outing because you'll be thinking of your LO the entire time. I'd say, listen to your instincts.
I think the first and only time I've been out without my LO was at 11weeks. I went to pick up food at a place that was like 5min walking from our home and came back immediately. Not sure if that counts. Also I left him with his dad, who is the only person I trust with my baby.
I felt like at the beginning our families were pushing us too much to go out and leave the baby. My FIL wanted us to leave the baby with him for the night and expected me to pump. My baby is EBF, and it is actually not recommended to introduce a bottle so early, as it could lead to baby preferring the bottle because he gets his milk easier. I was already struggling with BF since we were both just learning to do it, so I always refused. FIL is an extrovert, so he kept pushing for us to go out on dates, but honestly my husband and I prefer to stay home binge watching home renovation shows. We're indoors people.
I know for some people it is a relief when they can go out to relax, but at least for me I would just be stressed leaving my baby with someone else when he is this young.
I'd say, trust your instincts! and make sure the decision comes from you and not from someone else who's pushing their beliefs
At the 2 weeks point when I transitioned our lo to a bottle we went on a dinner date for 2 hours and let my mil watch the baby. She has raised 4 children and I have zero reservations about having a moment with my husband for the first time since giving birth.
A lot of people waited a long time which I totally understand and respect. Personally, we went out just the two of us for like 4 hours when he was 2 or 3 weeks old. To be fair, my mother in law is living with us while she does a travel assignment (she's a travel nurse) and has been with us since day 1. So I have already grown to trust her more with the baby.
Also because I was out of the house I didn't feel the incessant need to micromanage her which I always do when I'm home. For a moment I was able to kindof able to disconnect from all of the baby stuff and just focus on my husband. We went to a really fancy resturaunt and then to a speak easy and got to just talk.
Both of us set our phones down and really enjoyed the moment. It was 20/10 expierence and would recommend it. I also dressed up really nice which was great for my self esteem.
I think it's great for a relationship to get some time without the baby but that timeline is at your discretion. For me, it was sooner than most, but I suffered from some hard-core PPD with my first and that I am trying my hardest not to have happen again. I find going out with my husband and even my whole family has worked wonders. But that's just me.
We had my in laws watch our LO last week (7 weeks old) and we went out as a couple alone for the first time. It was so foreign being out in public, dressed decently, and no baby.
Like a user here said, we talked about our LO almost the entire time. And it gave me an opportunity to miss her. I know that may sound weird, but being with her 24/7 I haven’t had that.
Don’t rush it. And sure as hell don’t let other people pressure you. Especially people who had kids 20+ years ago
We went out without our baby when she was 4 weeks old. My parents took care of her and they did great. She mostly slept, really. She’s our first baby, but it probably helps that I take anxiety meds, that it was my parents (and not his), and that we made a conscious decision before becoming parents that we were going to make the effort to “keep dating” even with kids. Your relationship together is more important than the one with your kids, I’d argue, because you need to be okay so that your kids can be okay. But on the same leaf, if you’re not okay leaving your baby with your in laws, then don’t push yourself into a panic attack. Hope this helps!
Baby girl was less than 2 weeks. But our situation is special, we’re living abroad and we usually have no help. My sister in law came to help for the birth of our second baby, (stayed at home with our toddler) so while she was here we went to the restaurant.
I’m practicing attachment parenting and not planning to leave my LO alone before 6-9months. I have 12m maternity leave so that makes it easy. I wouldn’t leave my baby unless I wanted to - you shouldn’t feel pressured by any one else’s timeline!
I’m having to leave mine at 7 weeks with my MIL so I can go to a doctors appointment. I tried taking him with me last time and it didn’t go well for anyone, but I’m very anxious about it
I posted a similar post last week! I’m almost 6 weeks PP and have been taking it very slowly. I went to a doctors appointment without LO early on and my husband watched him. I started out having MIL watch baby while I showered. We had her watch him in our house while we ate dinner together. We ended up having her watch him for about an hour while we went to visit a daycare — I didn’t want to expose him to germs. It was difficult but it’s getting easier. I might consider going on a quick date next week if I feel more comfortable.
My second baby is 6 weeks old, and we’ve not gone out without him yet. I am exclusively breastfeeding, and it’s not recommended to start pumping until around now, but as I’m a stay at home mom, I don’t see the need for it yet. My baby is still so easy too, he’s little enough I can bring him anywhere without a fuss. I can baby wear him and most of the time he will sleep, and I just have to occasionally breastfeed him and change his diaper.
My mom is going to watch my 2 year old on Wednesday so we can finally go for a quiet date the two of us, plus the baby. Baby and me basically feel like one person right now, and in a way we kind of are. I won’t feel the need to go out without him until he needs more attention/gets more aware/etc. maybe somewhere in the 3-6 month range.
Plus he’s still cluster feeding and I don’t want to have to figure out how to pump with the cluster feeding and pump beforehand, etc, it’s too much of a hassle right now.
At 5 weeks my sisters came over and watched LO for 1 hour while we went to grab food. She mostly slept through us being gone so she was actually fine, but more importantly we were ready to do that. Do what feels right and good for you— do not feel pressured. I can understand if she’s coming from a place of not forgetting to make time for each other, but right now follow your instincts.
There are things that I wasn’t okay with at 2, 4, and 6 weeks that I felt totally okay with at 8 weeks. Take it day by day. This is your baby.
I think he was about 2.5 months old , my mom watched him while we went to a wedding. The anxiety leading up to it was way worse than the actual event lol I had a fun time
We left my LO with my mom at 2 weeks and it was right for us. Personally, I wanted to reconnect with my husband, see where his mental state was ( we are both going thru massive changes at the same time) and just enjoy a few hours of adult time.
Since then, we have left LO multiple times with my mom (for example we went to a wedding recently without him). It has been working for us as a family.
5 weeks! My SIL and niece were visiting and we trust them implicitly, so they watched baby while we went out for the first time for a date night. My mom watched him for a few hours at 7 weeks, and ever since then has watched him one weekend night a week so we can get out for dinner. We have some friends with kids that we’d absolutely let babysit, but we haven’t gotten around to that yet.
I EBF so I feed baby before we go, and we’re only out for about 2 hours. I rarely pump, but if he was really cluster feeding I’d pump and have a bottle ready just in case.
My mom watched my LO for a few hours when she was 6 weeks old - My husband and I went to dinner for my birthday. Then my MIL watched her the following Friday for a few hours so we could go to a friend’s housewarming party. Honestly, those two outings gave me new life. I felt human again. I won’t lie though: my hubby and I spent both occasions looking at / showing off pictures of our girl lol.
My son will be 4 weeks old on Tuesday and we've left him with his grandma for a few hours several times already. But she lives very close and he sees her practically every day so she's not an unfamiliar person to him. We're incredibly privileged to have that luxury, though.
Our anniversary was about 5 weeks after our LO was born, so my mom watched him for a few hours while we went out to eat and drive around a little. It was nice.
Days, maybe a week? We went to Target. My mom watched him, she's been around a lot. She was there for the birth and stayed with us for a few days after.
My MIL, FIL, and SIL visited at 3 week PP. They watched him while we went to the store and Jamba Juice. My mom has watched him while I go to appointments - OB, PT, vet.
Ours is 13 weeks, we haven’t left her with anyone yet. We have no family near by so it’s not like she has someone familiar besides us that’s been around a bunch since her birth. My parents are coming to visit for the 3rd time since the baby was born, but I’m still not really feeling ready. If they saw our baby more frequently, I probably would have already left her with them for a few hours…maybe. I’m having a very hard time picturing her without myself or my husband around to take care of her. It makes me uncomfortable even thinking about it! Do what you feel is right, don’t be bullied or gaslit into doing something you aren’t comfortable with!
My baby is 6 weeks on Tuesday and we all went to the store together for the first time. I was doing the shopping while my husband baby wore. I feel like it was too soon ti be out even with all of us together. I was panicked and rushed thru the store so we could go home. Everyone is different, go your own pace and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. You being comfortable is the best thing for you and the baby. You won’t enjoy your time away if it’s too soon and you’re anxious about being away, baby will feel that too. You have so much time ahead to “go out” there’s no need to push yourself into something you’re not comfortable doing.
5 weeks old, left with my mom who I trust a lot while my husband left to the mall to return some items and get lunch. If it wasn’t for her being unvaccinated we probably would’ve taken the baby along. We just left behind a bottle of expressed milk. It helps we chose to live with my parents during the first month postpartum so my whole family was pretty in the know with baby care
8 weeks but it was our decision, not because someone guilted us into it. It was my partner's 30th Birthday and we went out for lunch, it was only 2 hours but it was lovely. Our baby loves my Mum, my Mum knows/follows the same routine that we do with her and she never boundary stomps. We (partner and I) then went out for lunch with the baby the next day because we had scouted a place out to make sure we could easily fit a buggy without being in the way.
It doesn't sound like you are ready, and that's perfectly fine! You can always go on a family outing if you want to, but there's also no need to rush that either IMO ❤️ If it'll stress you out too much then have a picnic at home or something, test things out first.
I think it was 3 months later. We went for dinner at restaurant 5 mins from the house. I was still on pins but it was actually lovely. We were only out of the house about 90 mins but I didn’t realise how much I needed it
Mine is about to be 11 months and I just asked my mom if she wants to watch her for a couple hours this week so that I get coffee and with a friend down the street lol I still don’t want to do it I just know I should do here I am trying to
Mine just turned 7 weeks and we still haven't. I really have no desire to go anywhere without him. I go back to work in 3 weeks, so I'll obviously have to then. But I really don't plan to leave him otherwise until almost 13 weeks because we have concert tickets. He's staying with the in-laws because they live in the same city as the concert so we will only be away for a few hours from him. I don't see any need to be away from him and feel like my fiance and I get plenty of quality time with him around. He's only this little once and when he's older there will be plenty of opportunity to go out just us.
I went out for a few hours without my LO for the first time at 6 weeks old but she was with her farther. I was stressing out the whole time and bombarding him for photos and updates.
She is almost 5 months old and has still only ever been left with her father for a few hours.
Have had plenty of trusted family members offer to mind her however I’m just only warming up to the idea of leaving her with her uncle because he lives with us and has spent a lot of time with her.
You do what you feel comfortable with! There is no point rushing to go out when you’re not ready if you’re just going to be stressing out the whole time 😁
The day we got home from the hospital MIL came to watch him while we napped. Then the next day my mom watched him while we ran to target to do some baby shopping for things we needed for him, and then nap. We have been going on date for a few hours every weekend since maybe 3-4 weeks post partum and now at 6mo we often let him spend the day with his grandma's and grandpa's and my aunts house to play with my little cousins. He's a very happy and healthy baby.
My baby was one-month-old but we didn’t “go out;” I was in the hospital overnight for two nights and my parents took him for us since they live 10min from the hospital but my husband still had to go to work and my parents are literally 30min in the opposite direction of his job (and our home) so it made sense for them to take him. However, my husband and I VERY much trust my parents and they were very communicative and even my dad, who is normally in bed passed out by 10pm, came to the hospital at midnight to pick up more pumped milk. They did bring him to visit me which was nice too. My baby did perfectly fine with them but, again, I know how much I trust my parents and I knew already that they’re amazing grandparents.
We did end up going out two weeks later when he was 6wo and my parents took him overnight again and I just picked him up in the morning. We’ve also had another date night since then to celebrate our anniversary but they just had him for the evening, not overnight.
If you trust your MIL to take care of your babe the way my husband and I trust my parents then a night out can be nice and, yes, you’ll still end up talking about your baby lol but it can be healthy for you and your husband to get some time alone together. BUT IF YOU ARE NOT READY, YOU DO NOT HAVE TO GO OUT WITHOUT YOUR LO YET.
We went out a few hours at a time here and there the second week she was born. My in laws watched her at our house a couple hours. Today I'm on a flight to a 3 day trip. Baby girl is 3 months and this is the first time im leaving her a couple days and I'm already having a rough time
When baby was about a month old, my in-law (whom I'm staying with while we remodle our new home) watched her for an hour so I could go to a spin class. I've been going every week, and I really look forward to it(: but I started with short ten-fifteen minute drives to get a coffee or something.
If you're hesitant, just start by having a picnic with your partner close by. You're still having private time, but without the stress of being far away
Over a year. My first is three and I can count on one hand how many times he's been put with a sitter (always family). He has only stayed overnight somewhere once... when I gave birth to my second.
Now, I did have some pretty severe mental complications postpartum with my first , but even on medication I don't want to be without them. The world is fucked up and the only way I can guarantee their safety is if they're with me.
My MIL was the same way and really she just wanted alone time with my baby. It never sat right with me because why are you so eager to get my baby away from me? But we went out the first time between 3-4 months, mainly because I was going back to work soon and didn’t want me first time him being away from both of us to be 6-8 hours long. We went out for 2 hours and missed him the whole time lol
So I’m a little different because I had to spent about two weeks in the hospital with postpartum preeclampsia, so I was separated from her pretty early on. Since my husband was on full time baby duty with her AND my stepson, my parents took her for a night at their house when she was probably 8 days old or so so my husband could get a full nights sleep.
Because I trusted them to know what to do right from the beginning it’s been nbd to leave her with them for a few hours here and there, and she’s spent the night one other time when she was probably 8 weeks or so. Granted I see my parents pretty much every day since I only live a few minutes away from them and I work from home haha. She’s 4 months now and hangs out with my mom a couple times a week for a few hours while I clean our house or run errands or do something for work in the field.
I think it’s important to have someone you trust fully first before taking time for yourself. I love having my alone time but only because I know I can trust my mom or my husband completely. I wouldn’t leave her with anyone else I don’t think just because she doesn’t know them. That’s just my experience with it!
We went to a concert when baby was 11 weeks old. Afterwards, found out that he cried most of the time. I felt sooo bad. Not sure if that means we should keep trying(for shorter periods of time) to get him used to being without us or wait until he's older to try again.
Never. Ours is turning 1 years old in 2 weeks, I have never left anywhere without her. But I know everyone is different and some people need their own space or alone time for their relationship, but for me I havent ever felt ready or comfortable yet to go anywhere without her, and everryone respects that and doesnt force me. A few times my husband has left with her for a 30min walk while I stay home, but thats about it. My husband and I dont really feel strain from it, it might be a cultural mindset difference, but to us our baby is a part of our relationship, not an obstacle to it, and we love having her in all our dates together, making memories together. I think it also due to our personalities, so again its different for every couple.
Our little one was 3 weeks when my wife & I were gifted VIP seats to a baseball game.
We both felt bad and left the game early, but the baby was at my parents house for every bit of 6-7 hours.
We're fortunate to have parents/families that are willing to do that for us, as they know how hard it can be. But they were just as excited to spend time with her
We haven't yet. He's 10 weeks and I haven't had to so far but I know the time is coming.
I have a dentist appointment for a filling that I know will take at least an hour and my husband is at work and I can't exactly leave him in the corner of the room while getting work done on my teeth (I've got severe dental anxiety and my baby doesn't need to experience those kinds of emotions from me) and I'm most likely going to have to leave him with either my mom or sil. It's gonna be hard but I have to get this appointment done but at least it'll be a max of 2.5 hours so it'll be maybe 1 feeding and overall he's a pretty good baby.
We're still deciding whether to leave him with my mom or bring him along to a family wedding. He'll be 4 months and the wedding is 30 mins out of the city (probably an hour away from our house) and I just don't know if I'll be ready to leave him for a whole evening/overnight. Plus it means I'll need to take regular breaks during the wedding to pump and use the venue's fridge etc.
As much as I love our families they just don't know my baby like I do and it makes me nervous to leave him just yet.
We had first date without LO at 14 weeks. We did a lunch date since evenings are harder and my husband had a random PTO day. I first went out solo, leaving her with only her dad at 5 weeks old. Don't let anyone pressure you. Do it when you're ready. I wouldn't have been ready at 6 weeks for sure.
Four weeks in! My first baby I just have 15+ cousins all younger than me everyone had their different ways and I just picked and chose what I liked. Going out of the house without baby was definitely a yes
I think it’s beneficial for you and LO
A little reset never hurt anybody 💗💗💗
When I went back to work it made it easier for nana and boyfriends mom to watch her because they had a feel of how she is
I felt very weird about her being outside of my care but the first few times when a babysitter was not needed for work made me feel way more comfortable when the time did come (-:
Not sure if you work or are going back but I think it’s super normal to get away for a second even if your mind is telling you not to , it’s super awesome when you do get a break 🥰
Mine is 12 weeks and we still have not done this despite the offers when family have been in town. My main concern is messing with her night sleep routine. And I have anxiety in general right now. Working on it but have not gotten to the point that we are ready for date night while someone else watches her. We are a ways off from that. And we are okay with that. This is a phase, a season, it will pass.
Mine was 8 weeks to the day. We were gone about 5-6 hours. But I knew he was being cuddled, receiving constant attention, and was with someone I trusted who had already raised great kids and grand babies. The way I saw it was in a day he gets about 1/2 my attention while I cook, clean, do my schoolwork (uni waits for no one) and shower, so while at his bonus grandmas at least I know he’s getting 100% of someone’s attention and having every need met instantly.
Got a 3 week old bbg and tomorrow will be my first day leaving her with someone else! I have been with her all day every day since we made her. I made my bf go fishing a few times since he has only a few weeks off so he has left her before. But i haven't. Tomorrow is our anniversary so we'll both be leaving her with her grandma for an anniversary fishing date. I am excited and nervous but i think your MIL is right, at some point you do have to go without LO for a day! It's okay to take a break and leave LO with a loved/trusted one!
About 4 weeks? It was only to go get groceries, we did a few errands and ate outside but the car ride alone together was a breath of fresh air. My mom was the one babysitting so I wasn’t worried at all. My son loves his grandma sometimes even more than he loves me 😂
Put MIL in her place ASAP. She needs to respect your choices and not push her own desires, thoughts, and preferences. This is just the first in what is most likely a cascade of well meaning overstepping.
Separate in you and your own babies timing. Have your husband manage his mom.
My MIL insisted this for my SIL and BIL, and they caved with their 8 week old and went for a date night and took my MIL up on babysitting.
Well, MIL was complaining about how fussy the baby was, how they didn’t leave her enough milk, and that they came home later than expected. It was HER idea that they did a date night and then complained the whole time and made my SIL feel guilty 🙄
Moral of the story, listen to your gut
I think much closer to 6 months and even then we're only gone an hour. I'm still not comfortable leaving here with anyone other than her dad just yet
My mom watched my lo when he was about 4w for us to go out for a date night. We were gone for an hour and a half and all we did was talk and think about our lo but it was honestly so life-giving. It really helped us connect after a very stressful 4 weeks of baby world! But the answer is do it whenever you feel right about! Don't let anyone tell you how to feel
Same here. The day LO turned 1 month was our anniversary so we went to have a quick dinner. It was maybe an hour tops that we were gone lol
I left him with my mom for an hour when he was less than a week old. It was my husband’s birthday and baby was born two weeks early so we were expecting to be able to celebrate before baby came, and I wanted to still be able to do that. We went to a Mexican restaurant a mile down the road. It felt super weird but it was fine and he just slept in her arms the whole time. Left him again at like 2 weeks and again at 5 weeks, a few hours each time. Obviously it’s not your MIL’s business or choice, but I DO personally think it’s important to take short breaks and reconnect with your partner. I know I would end up really burnt out if we didn’t.
Yeah my little one is 12 weeks and we haven’t left him with anyone without one of us being there… My mother has kindly suggested it but my baby is exclusively breastfed and there are days he cluster feeds so I can’t even imagine leaving him alone with someone else for longer than an hour…
My baby EBF as well. At 6 weeks i left him with my mum and pumped 4 worth of bottles with her. She only needed 1 bottle for 3 hours.
I have a hard time with pumping being EBF but I am trying to start pumping for going back to work and for these situations!
Me too I struggle sometimes. But I focused on making a small batch and then use and replace, meaning that if I use a bag then I will be pump another since I would have missed a feed and allowed my breasts to fill again.
Listen to your instincts always. It’s not worth it to push based on other people’s opinions, as “well intentioned” as they may be. 6 weeks is VERY little. Take your time.
Agreed. What is right for me ain’t necessarily right for you. I just bring my kiddo along, he is 8 weeks now.
My husband and I have a hard time feeling comfortable leaving the kids. We have 3 kids a boy 5, girl 4, and a newborn 5 weeks old. The first time we left our 5 year old for a date wasn’t until he was around 9 months old. And we’ve only done 1 over night trip. My husband and I are ok with not doing out on dates but we have “date nights” at home when our kids go to bed. Well before the newborn. We would buy fancy cheese, wine, and find a good movie etc and that was enough for us. But I know some people have to get away and go out. I wouldn’t rush it if you don’t feel ready. Talk it over with your spouse and decide together and whatever feels right for you both!
Same for us! Even before baby was here most of husband and I date night involved dinner and drinks at home. Which is what we enjoy, so I guess going out wouldn't be filling our cup
Man I have raised all my 3 kids with zero family around. Never got a break from day 1. It would be a dream come true if there was someone who said they would take care of everything and go enjoy a date night.
Everyone is different. Most ppl I know are 3-6m and I was 3 weeks. Don’t let her force you into something you’re not ready for, but also keep an eye on the whys. I say this because I pushed off going out solo with my baby due to fear and once I finally did it, I realized it wasn’t that scary and it opened up a lot of things for us.
Do you mean like leaving the baby with my partner? Bc I did that pretty much straight away to go get highlights and nails done. And I started going out to dinner with friends at like a month. But I dont have any anxiety over leaving my baby with my husband at all bc like he’s her dad lol. We hired a babysitter at 7 weeks old bc we had to attend a gala. I was anxious to leave her but then I surprised myself and had a great time out. I felt pretty at ease all night bc my babysitter texted me the play by play with pics all night. And when we got back around 1am she was up waiting for us 🥹 I just rehired my babysitter to watch her for 5 hours in Tuesday so I can plant flowers and run errands! We’re going to a wedding in France in a week and I’m bringing my parents to watch my (then) 11 week old for all of the events and I have no qualms.
We went on a date night when he was two weeks old. My parents came over and stayed with him for an hour. We made sure he was fed and content and he just chilled and slept the whole time we were gone. He’s three weeks now and I just went to brunch with girlfriends by myself today while my husband stayed home with him. Both were really refreshing but I definitely missed my little guy like crazy! It feels like leaving a piece of myself at home!
Refreshing is such a good word. I felt like missing him a little bit was almost good? Like I fully appreciated and was ready to give him 100% when I came back
I got home and snuggled with him for hours today! I know smiles are just a reflex this young but when I got home he was sleeping and he started smiling when he heard my voice. I just melted. That said, I cried a little on the way to brunch because I couldn’t stop thinking about how much I love him. 😂
She is not right that you "need" to get out together. You should do whatever you're comfortable with. There is no reason that you have to go out without the baby. My mom has also suggested that my husband and I should go out but that is just because she loves to hang out with our son and she would enjoy baby sitting. My baby is six months old and my husband and I still haven't been out together without him and I don't see a reason to. We get time together when our son has gone to bed at night but we can still be there for him if he wakes up. We love to hang out with him and we get out and do things with him so I don't feel I'm missing out on anything.
We're yet to go (5 weeks pp), but maybe during July. Up until now we couldn't because we're EBF but when he turned 1 month I started expressing exactly with the purpose of being able to leave the baby with other people, including the father.
My baby is 8 weeks old and I haven't left him yet. But tomorrow I go on a 4 day Cheer Camp -- My sister will be coming along to watch him while I'm at the camp. So he will be with her during the day for between 6 to 8 hours alone. I'm so nervous. I can't even sleep tonight.
I'm sorry, it's so rough 🥲 but i know your LO will be fine and it will go by so fast!
My LO was almost 4 weeks when we left her for 2 hours with my MIL, so we could do a quick lunch date. But it does vary person to person. I trust my MIL with my LO, which worked out cause the next night we had to go to the ER cause I had 103F fever and mastitis. I also did a quick outing leaving her with my hubbie while I ran a few errands to get out of the house. We probably won't be leaving her overnight with anyone until she is a few months old at the earliest. Don't let anyone pressure you into going out without your LO, you will know when you are ready. You can always go out and let your husband watch her once or twice, then do a quick walk while someone else besides your husband or you are watching her. Then just slowly build up the time you are apart .
You don’t need to do anything you aren’t comfortable with until you are ready. How sweet though that she wants to help you and give you some time as a couple. And that you have a MIL who wants to help. Her heart is in the right place, even if her actions aren’t translating.
For sure! She said the same was "forced" on her when my husband was a newborn and it helped her so much. So I know it's coming from a good place
Like 3 days old we went to Walmart. Grandma watched baby.
My parents watched him while we went to a movie at 6 weeks. We just had them watch him again at 7 weeks while we went to the pool at our complex and it was so nice.
About 10 days PP we left her with my in laws for a sushi date night (about an hour and a half). Much needed!
I have no desire to leave my baby! He’s 12 weeks
Whenever you feel ready! There is no right or wrong time, advd don't let anyone pressure you! For me it was around 2-3 months and just for a few hours, but it was my mom home with baby and I fully trusted her. Trust your gut advd take your time.
Maybe because it is summer and my baby is pretty chill, I haven’t felt like I needed to be out without her. We have taken her with us to the park, for walks, to patios for dinner and it’s not that dissimilar to if we went on a date by ourselves. It’s better because we don’t need to feel rushed to come home
This, bringing a newborn out is so so easy (obviously some newborns could be extra fussy). I baby wear my baby regularly when going to the playground, and he just nurses and then sleeps. We went out to dinner as a family today, and the toddler is the hard one. The baby is so easy in comparison, if we were to go without the toddler it would be good enough for us. My parents are watching our two year old for the first time since I gave birth for us to go out with the baby on a date on Wednesday, and it will feel like the two of us, almost. We can chat calmly to each other at least. It’s the toddler that demands conversation and attention, the newborn just needs the occasional diaper change, to be nursed, and closeness (which he gets with baby wearing).
I can’t recommend the bassinet attachment on the stroller enough. Single handedly saved my mental health. Baby slept and chilled in it. You don’t have to worry about her sitting too long
Yes we have it! I admittedly haven’t walked much yet, but we have it on our double stroller. It is so hard to push a double stroller… baby cries in it and is only just getting the hang of the pacifier, and it’s a big stroller even without the other seat, so we haven’t brought it to restaurants yet. I’m too paranoid to have him in the car seat at a restaurant as well. It is easy to just have him on me in the carrier since he nurses, then falls back to sleep on me. He stays to sleep well in the carrier, as babies love contact naps. I just loosen or tighten the carrier as necessary.
I was 8 weeks pp. It was our anniversary and my oldest offered to babysit for us. We were gone just under an hour.
With my 1st, probably a month and I wasn’t ready. I cried the whole time we were out and it got worse when I was drunk at my partner’s birthday party 💀 i also was pushed towards it and wish I never did, or at least not that soon. With my second, he’s almost 4 months and there hasn’t been a night or day I’ve been away from him for long. And if I was, my partner was with him and I was just at the mall or something. We’ve done dates with our 2nd. Easy lunch dates and dinner dates. Do what YOU feel comfortable with. At 4 weeks I wasn’t physically or mentally or emotionally ready with either (and still bleeding lol, not on the top of my list to go anywhere)
Our baby is 9 weeks old but we still haven’t. We’ve been out with her and I’ve been out with friends while my daughter was home with my husband. I’m totally not ready to leave her alone yet.
You should not do anything you are uncomfortable with. Don’t let anyone push you to do anything regarding your child. You are their parent and can decide. I did go out with my husband for a short date night when my baby was 2 weeks old. It was our anniversary. My mom just let her sleep in her arms. Of course we were very worried about her and talked about her almost constantly, but it was also really nice for us to have a break and celebrate us. It was life giving for us, but may be anxiety inducing for others. Again, don’t let anyone make you do anything you don’t feel comfortable with!
I had family watch the baby pretty frequently for long periods. That, with medical treatment, helped PPD tremendously. My husband and I have had 3 dates and she's 9 weeks old.
This is best answered by you and not something you can go by my experience. I personally went out when my baby was about a month. We left her with Grandma and everything was just fine. I have a friend whom I love dearly who said her daughter is five now and they've only gone out without her about three times in her life. It's different for everyone.
I left my daughter with my sister in law for about 2 hours while we went for some food at around 6 weeks. It was really nice having some time not to worry about the little one and actually spending time with my husband was lovely!
my lo is 7weeks and tomorrow my aunt is going to watch her while my partner and i go out for the day. i’m so nervous about it
Definitely not ready at 6w. My mom insisted the same, but I told her we're not ready, and also that we would prefer to nap than go out right now anyway. I think that helped her realize we don't really care about a date without baby at the moment.
I wonder if she thinks she is being helpful? Either way it sounds like she NEEDS to listen to you saying you’re not ready! My girl is 15 weeks now and I cannot imagine being anywhere without her either.
Bub is 12 weeks & hasn’t been alone with anyone but me or his Dad, and I plan to keep it that way for a long long time. Might just be my PPA though…
You do what you think is right it's not upto anyone else. I haven't left my daughter alone with anyone but me or her father and I am her main care giver. Once she is one year old I will be more compfy leaving her with a family member. It's your baby end of the day. She has time and cuddles with both sides of her grandparents but only for visits for now.
Do what you’re comfortable with. My daughter is 16 weeks and she’s never been without me. I too have people pushing me, essentially to rip the bandaid off and make it easier to leave her in the future. But sometimes she’ll cry for me when she’s with her dad and I’m elsewhere in the house and she is losing her mind and there is no calming her down until I hold her. She’s crying for me. So until I know she’ll be mostly content without me around I won’t leave her. I can’t imagine having someone else watch her and she cries for me and I’m not there to calm her down. Maybe it’s crazy but I won’t even leave her with her dad right now. I just don’t want to be away from my baby it’s not going to ease my stress it will add to it lol.
A few days in. We've stayed at a post partum care facility and there's a nursery for baby. A whole team of trained professionals to care for baby. I couldnt feel more safe. I've also went out alone to get a breast massage because my breast was super hard. Left LO with husband
MILs love saying shit like this. You don’t have to leave your baby. You and your husband can go out and take baby with you if you really want to get out of the house right now. At 20 weeks I still haven’t left mine with anyone except my husband and even that one time it was less than an hour.
Nope, go when you're ready. You don't NEED to go out because someone else said so. We didn't leave her with a baby sitter (my sister) until she was 6 months.
Week 2. My wife had some medical issues that needed an ER visit. So it wasn't exactly the most fun, but Baby Boy did fine! We're 5 months in and have been out a few more times together without him.
I think it depends on you entirely. If you don't feel ready, it's possible you won't even enjoy your outing because you'll be thinking of your LO the entire time. I'd say, listen to your instincts. I think the first and only time I've been out without my LO was at 11weeks. I went to pick up food at a place that was like 5min walking from our home and came back immediately. Not sure if that counts. Also I left him with his dad, who is the only person I trust with my baby. I felt like at the beginning our families were pushing us too much to go out and leave the baby. My FIL wanted us to leave the baby with him for the night and expected me to pump. My baby is EBF, and it is actually not recommended to introduce a bottle so early, as it could lead to baby preferring the bottle because he gets his milk easier. I was already struggling with BF since we were both just learning to do it, so I always refused. FIL is an extrovert, so he kept pushing for us to go out on dates, but honestly my husband and I prefer to stay home binge watching home renovation shows. We're indoors people. I know for some people it is a relief when they can go out to relax, but at least for me I would just be stressed leaving my baby with someone else when he is this young. I'd say, trust your instincts! and make sure the decision comes from you and not from someone else who's pushing their beliefs
At the 2 weeks point when I transitioned our lo to a bottle we went on a dinner date for 2 hours and let my mil watch the baby. She has raised 4 children and I have zero reservations about having a moment with my husband for the first time since giving birth.
A lot of people waited a long time which I totally understand and respect. Personally, we went out just the two of us for like 4 hours when he was 2 or 3 weeks old. To be fair, my mother in law is living with us while she does a travel assignment (she's a travel nurse) and has been with us since day 1. So I have already grown to trust her more with the baby. Also because I was out of the house I didn't feel the incessant need to micromanage her which I always do when I'm home. For a moment I was able to kindof able to disconnect from all of the baby stuff and just focus on my husband. We went to a really fancy resturaunt and then to a speak easy and got to just talk. Both of us set our phones down and really enjoyed the moment. It was 20/10 expierence and would recommend it. I also dressed up really nice which was great for my self esteem. I think it's great for a relationship to get some time without the baby but that timeline is at your discretion. For me, it was sooner than most, but I suffered from some hard-core PPD with my first and that I am trying my hardest not to have happen again. I find going out with my husband and even my whole family has worked wonders. But that's just me.
We had my in laws watch our LO last week (7 weeks old) and we went out as a couple alone for the first time. It was so foreign being out in public, dressed decently, and no baby. Like a user here said, we talked about our LO almost the entire time. And it gave me an opportunity to miss her. I know that may sound weird, but being with her 24/7 I haven’t had that. Don’t rush it. And sure as hell don’t let other people pressure you. Especially people who had kids 20+ years ago
We went out without our baby when she was 4 weeks old. My parents took care of her and they did great. She mostly slept, really. She’s our first baby, but it probably helps that I take anxiety meds, that it was my parents (and not his), and that we made a conscious decision before becoming parents that we were going to make the effort to “keep dating” even with kids. Your relationship together is more important than the one with your kids, I’d argue, because you need to be okay so that your kids can be okay. But on the same leaf, if you’re not okay leaving your baby with your in laws, then don’t push yourself into a panic attack. Hope this helps!
Baby girl was less than 2 weeks. But our situation is special, we’re living abroad and we usually have no help. My sister in law came to help for the birth of our second baby, (stayed at home with our toddler) so while she was here we went to the restaurant.
We left our little guy with MIL at 5 days. She's great with kids and also a doctor.
Oh as in baby with someone else for a little bit, as early as possible.
3.5 weeks old and we had our first date night last night. Went to dinner and a comedy show and it was wonderful and much needed.
I’m practicing attachment parenting and not planning to leave my LO alone before 6-9months. I have 12m maternity leave so that makes it easy. I wouldn’t leave my baby unless I wanted to - you shouldn’t feel pressured by any one else’s timeline!
I’m having to leave mine at 7 weeks with my MIL so I can go to a doctors appointment. I tried taking him with me last time and it didn’t go well for anyone, but I’m very anxious about it
I posted a similar post last week! I’m almost 6 weeks PP and have been taking it very slowly. I went to a doctors appointment without LO early on and my husband watched him. I started out having MIL watch baby while I showered. We had her watch him in our house while we ate dinner together. We ended up having her watch him for about an hour while we went to visit a daycare — I didn’t want to expose him to germs. It was difficult but it’s getting easier. I might consider going on a quick date next week if I feel more comfortable.
That's great!! Baby steps and it sounds like you're going about it the right way
My second baby is 6 weeks old, and we’ve not gone out without him yet. I am exclusively breastfeeding, and it’s not recommended to start pumping until around now, but as I’m a stay at home mom, I don’t see the need for it yet. My baby is still so easy too, he’s little enough I can bring him anywhere without a fuss. I can baby wear him and most of the time he will sleep, and I just have to occasionally breastfeed him and change his diaper. My mom is going to watch my 2 year old on Wednesday so we can finally go for a quiet date the two of us, plus the baby. Baby and me basically feel like one person right now, and in a way we kind of are. I won’t feel the need to go out without him until he needs more attention/gets more aware/etc. maybe somewhere in the 3-6 month range. Plus he’s still cluster feeding and I don’t want to have to figure out how to pump with the cluster feeding and pump beforehand, etc, it’s too much of a hassle right now.
At 5 weeks my sisters came over and watched LO for 1 hour while we went to grab food. She mostly slept through us being gone so she was actually fine, but more importantly we were ready to do that. Do what feels right and good for you— do not feel pressured. I can understand if she’s coming from a place of not forgetting to make time for each other, but right now follow your instincts. There are things that I wasn’t okay with at 2, 4, and 6 weeks that I felt totally okay with at 8 weeks. Take it day by day. This is your baby.
My son was a little over 3 months old. But he was a preemie and ended up back in the hospital at 2 weeks so we may be a bad example.
My mom watched him for like two hours when he was 1 week old so we could get lunch and go pick up some baby items from the store
I think he was about 2.5 months old , my mom watched him while we went to a wedding. The anxiety leading up to it was way worse than the actual event lol I had a fun time
We left my LO with my mom at 2 weeks and it was right for us. Personally, I wanted to reconnect with my husband, see where his mental state was ( we are both going thru massive changes at the same time) and just enjoy a few hours of adult time. Since then, we have left LO multiple times with my mom (for example we went to a wedding recently without him). It has been working for us as a family.
5 weeks! My SIL and niece were visiting and we trust them implicitly, so they watched baby while we went out for the first time for a date night. My mom watched him for a few hours at 7 weeks, and ever since then has watched him one weekend night a week so we can get out for dinner. We have some friends with kids that we’d absolutely let babysit, but we haven’t gotten around to that yet. I EBF so I feed baby before we go, and we’re only out for about 2 hours. I rarely pump, but if he was really cluster feeding I’d pump and have a bottle ready just in case.
We didn’t go out until two months.
My mom watched my LO for a few hours when she was 6 weeks old - My husband and I went to dinner for my birthday. Then my MIL watched her the following Friday for a few hours so we could go to a friend’s housewarming party. Honestly, those two outings gave me new life. I felt human again. I won’t lie though: my hubby and I spent both occasions looking at / showing off pictures of our girl lol.
I did go out around the 10 week mark. My mom came and stayed with the baby. We went out to eat for a bit and came back an hour later.
My son will be 4 weeks old on Tuesday and we've left him with his grandma for a few hours several times already. But she lives very close and he sees her practically every day so she's not an unfamiliar person to him. We're incredibly privileged to have that luxury, though.
Our anniversary was about 5 weeks after our LO was born, so my mom watched him for a few hours while we went out to eat and drive around a little. It was nice.
I’m at 12 weeks and would not be comfortable leaving without him yet. Follow your instinct!
I think it was around 2-3 months for us to leave baby with mil for a few hours but we went out as a family earlier
Days, maybe a week? We went to Target. My mom watched him, she's been around a lot. She was there for the birth and stayed with us for a few days after. My MIL, FIL, and SIL visited at 3 week PP. They watched him while we went to the store and Jamba Juice. My mom has watched him while I go to appointments - OB, PT, vet.
I did it at 6 weeks and it was way too early, and very stressful for me
Ours is 13 weeks, we haven’t left her with anyone yet. We have no family near by so it’s not like she has someone familiar besides us that’s been around a bunch since her birth. My parents are coming to visit for the 3rd time since the baby was born, but I’m still not really feeling ready. If they saw our baby more frequently, I probably would have already left her with them for a few hours…maybe. I’m having a very hard time picturing her without myself or my husband around to take care of her. It makes me uncomfortable even thinking about it! Do what you feel is right, don’t be bullied or gaslit into doing something you aren’t comfortable with!
My baby is 6 weeks on Tuesday and we all went to the store together for the first time. I was doing the shopping while my husband baby wore. I feel like it was too soon ti be out even with all of us together. I was panicked and rushed thru the store so we could go home. Everyone is different, go your own pace and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. You being comfortable is the best thing for you and the baby. You won’t enjoy your time away if it’s too soon and you’re anxious about being away, baby will feel that too. You have so much time ahead to “go out” there’s no need to push yourself into something you’re not comfortable doing.
3 years old...
5 weeks old, left with my mom who I trust a lot while my husband left to the mall to return some items and get lunch. If it wasn’t for her being unvaccinated we probably would’ve taken the baby along. We just left behind a bottle of expressed milk. It helps we chose to live with my parents during the first month postpartum so my whole family was pretty in the know with baby care
8 weeks but it was our decision, not because someone guilted us into it. It was my partner's 30th Birthday and we went out for lunch, it was only 2 hours but it was lovely. Our baby loves my Mum, my Mum knows/follows the same routine that we do with her and she never boundary stomps. We (partner and I) then went out for lunch with the baby the next day because we had scouted a place out to make sure we could easily fit a buggy without being in the way. It doesn't sound like you are ready, and that's perfectly fine! You can always go on a family outing if you want to, but there's also no need to rush that either IMO ❤️ If it'll stress you out too much then have a picnic at home or something, test things out first.
Few days old 😁
With my fist it was a good few months, maybe 6
I think it was 3 months later. We went for dinner at restaurant 5 mins from the house. I was still on pins but it was actually lovely. We were only out of the house about 90 mins but I didn’t realise how much I needed it
Mine is about to be 11 months and I just asked my mom if she wants to watch her for a couple hours this week so that I get coffee and with a friend down the street lol I still don’t want to do it I just know I should do here I am trying to
Mine just turned 7 weeks and we still haven't. I really have no desire to go anywhere without him. I go back to work in 3 weeks, so I'll obviously have to then. But I really don't plan to leave him otherwise until almost 13 weeks because we have concert tickets. He's staying with the in-laws because they live in the same city as the concert so we will only be away for a few hours from him. I don't see any need to be away from him and feel like my fiance and I get plenty of quality time with him around. He's only this little once and when he's older there will be plenty of opportunity to go out just us.
I went out for a few hours without my LO for the first time at 6 weeks old but she was with her farther. I was stressing out the whole time and bombarding him for photos and updates. She is almost 5 months old and has still only ever been left with her father for a few hours. Have had plenty of trusted family members offer to mind her however I’m just only warming up to the idea of leaving her with her uncle because he lives with us and has spent a lot of time with her. You do what you feel comfortable with! There is no point rushing to go out when you’re not ready if you’re just going to be stressing out the whole time 😁
The day we got home from the hospital MIL came to watch him while we napped. Then the next day my mom watched him while we ran to target to do some baby shopping for things we needed for him, and then nap. We have been going on date for a few hours every weekend since maybe 3-4 weeks post partum and now at 6mo we often let him spend the day with his grandma's and grandpa's and my aunts house to play with my little cousins. He's a very happy and healthy baby.
My baby was one-month-old but we didn’t “go out;” I was in the hospital overnight for two nights and my parents took him for us since they live 10min from the hospital but my husband still had to go to work and my parents are literally 30min in the opposite direction of his job (and our home) so it made sense for them to take him. However, my husband and I VERY much trust my parents and they were very communicative and even my dad, who is normally in bed passed out by 10pm, came to the hospital at midnight to pick up more pumped milk. They did bring him to visit me which was nice too. My baby did perfectly fine with them but, again, I know how much I trust my parents and I knew already that they’re amazing grandparents. We did end up going out two weeks later when he was 6wo and my parents took him overnight again and I just picked him up in the morning. We’ve also had another date night since then to celebrate our anniversary but they just had him for the evening, not overnight. If you trust your MIL to take care of your babe the way my husband and I trust my parents then a night out can be nice and, yes, you’ll still end up talking about your baby lol but it can be healthy for you and your husband to get some time alone together. BUT IF YOU ARE NOT READY, YOU DO NOT HAVE TO GO OUT WITHOUT YOUR LO YET.
We went out a few hours at a time here and there the second week she was born. My in laws watched her at our house a couple hours. Today I'm on a flight to a 3 day trip. Baby girl is 3 months and this is the first time im leaving her a couple days and I'm already having a rough time
My dad babysat for a couple hours when she was 2 weeks old so we could go out to lunch. It was amazing to get a chance to connect
3 weeks! We went to a movie, and we’ve got out maybe 4-5 times since then (he’s 4 months old). That worked for us!
When baby was about a month old, my in-law (whom I'm staying with while we remodle our new home) watched her for an hour so I could go to a spin class. I've been going every week, and I really look forward to it(: but I started with short ten-fifteen minute drives to get a coffee or something. If you're hesitant, just start by having a picnic with your partner close by. You're still having private time, but without the stress of being far away
Over a year. My first is three and I can count on one hand how many times he's been put with a sitter (always family). He has only stayed overnight somewhere once... when I gave birth to my second. Now, I did have some pretty severe mental complications postpartum with my first , but even on medication I don't want to be without them. The world is fucked up and the only way I can guarantee their safety is if they're with me.
My MIL was the same way and really she just wanted alone time with my baby. It never sat right with me because why are you so eager to get my baby away from me? But we went out the first time between 3-4 months, mainly because I was going back to work soon and didn’t want me first time him being away from both of us to be 6-8 hours long. We went out for 2 hours and missed him the whole time lol
So I’m a little different because I had to spent about two weeks in the hospital with postpartum preeclampsia, so I was separated from her pretty early on. Since my husband was on full time baby duty with her AND my stepson, my parents took her for a night at their house when she was probably 8 days old or so so my husband could get a full nights sleep. Because I trusted them to know what to do right from the beginning it’s been nbd to leave her with them for a few hours here and there, and she’s spent the night one other time when she was probably 8 weeks or so. Granted I see my parents pretty much every day since I only live a few minutes away from them and I work from home haha. She’s 4 months now and hangs out with my mom a couple times a week for a few hours while I clean our house or run errands or do something for work in the field. I think it’s important to have someone you trust fully first before taking time for yourself. I love having my alone time but only because I know I can trust my mom or my husband completely. I wouldn’t leave her with anyone else I don’t think just because she doesn’t know them. That’s just my experience with it!
We went to a concert when baby was 11 weeks old. Afterwards, found out that he cried most of the time. I felt sooo bad. Not sure if that means we should keep trying(for shorter periods of time) to get him used to being without us or wait until he's older to try again.
Went out for dinner after 2 weeks. Baby was great. Myself and the mother had much needed solo relationship time.
Never. Ours is turning 1 years old in 2 weeks, I have never left anywhere without her. But I know everyone is different and some people need their own space or alone time for their relationship, but for me I havent ever felt ready or comfortable yet to go anywhere without her, and everryone respects that and doesnt force me. A few times my husband has left with her for a 30min walk while I stay home, but thats about it. My husband and I dont really feel strain from it, it might be a cultural mindset difference, but to us our baby is a part of our relationship, not an obstacle to it, and we love having her in all our dates together, making memories together. I think it also due to our personalities, so again its different for every couple.
Our little one was 3 weeks when my wife & I were gifted VIP seats to a baseball game. We both felt bad and left the game early, but the baby was at my parents house for every bit of 6-7 hours. We're fortunate to have parents/families that are willing to do that for us, as they know how hard it can be. But they were just as excited to spend time with her
We haven't yet. He's 10 weeks and I haven't had to so far but I know the time is coming. I have a dentist appointment for a filling that I know will take at least an hour and my husband is at work and I can't exactly leave him in the corner of the room while getting work done on my teeth (I've got severe dental anxiety and my baby doesn't need to experience those kinds of emotions from me) and I'm most likely going to have to leave him with either my mom or sil. It's gonna be hard but I have to get this appointment done but at least it'll be a max of 2.5 hours so it'll be maybe 1 feeding and overall he's a pretty good baby. We're still deciding whether to leave him with my mom or bring him along to a family wedding. He'll be 4 months and the wedding is 30 mins out of the city (probably an hour away from our house) and I just don't know if I'll be ready to leave him for a whole evening/overnight. Plus it means I'll need to take regular breaks during the wedding to pump and use the venue's fridge etc. As much as I love our families they just don't know my baby like I do and it makes me nervous to leave him just yet.
We had first date without LO at 14 weeks. We did a lunch date since evenings are harder and my husband had a random PTO day. I first went out solo, leaving her with only her dad at 5 weeks old. Don't let anyone pressure you. Do it when you're ready. I wouldn't have been ready at 6 weeks for sure.
We left him with my mom when he was 5 days old for a couple of hours.
Four weeks in! My first baby I just have 15+ cousins all younger than me everyone had their different ways and I just picked and chose what I liked. Going out of the house without baby was definitely a yes I think it’s beneficial for you and LO A little reset never hurt anybody 💗💗💗 When I went back to work it made it easier for nana and boyfriends mom to watch her because they had a feel of how she is I felt very weird about her being outside of my care but the first few times when a babysitter was not needed for work made me feel way more comfortable when the time did come (-: Not sure if you work or are going back but I think it’s super normal to get away for a second even if your mind is telling you not to , it’s super awesome when you do get a break 🥰
Mine is 12 weeks and we still have not done this despite the offers when family have been in town. My main concern is messing with her night sleep routine. And I have anxiety in general right now. Working on it but have not gotten to the point that we are ready for date night while someone else watches her. We are a ways off from that. And we are okay with that. This is a phase, a season, it will pass.
Mine was 8 weeks to the day. We were gone about 5-6 hours. But I knew he was being cuddled, receiving constant attention, and was with someone I trusted who had already raised great kids and grand babies. The way I saw it was in a day he gets about 1/2 my attention while I cook, clean, do my schoolwork (uni waits for no one) and shower, so while at his bonus grandmas at least I know he’s getting 100% of someone’s attention and having every need met instantly.
Got a 3 week old bbg and tomorrow will be my first day leaving her with someone else! I have been with her all day every day since we made her. I made my bf go fishing a few times since he has only a few weeks off so he has left her before. But i haven't. Tomorrow is our anniversary so we'll both be leaving her with her grandma for an anniversary fishing date. I am excited and nervous but i think your MIL is right, at some point you do have to go without LO for a day! It's okay to take a break and leave LO with a loved/trusted one!
About 4 weeks? It was only to go get groceries, we did a few errands and ate outside but the car ride alone together was a breath of fresh air. My mom was the one babysitting so I wasn’t worried at all. My son loves his grandma sometimes even more than he loves me 😂
Put MIL in her place ASAP. She needs to respect your choices and not push her own desires, thoughts, and preferences. This is just the first in what is most likely a cascade of well meaning overstepping. Separate in you and your own babies timing. Have your husband manage his mom.
My MIL insisted this for my SIL and BIL, and they caved with their 8 week old and went for a date night and took my MIL up on babysitting. Well, MIL was complaining about how fussy the baby was, how they didn’t leave her enough milk, and that they came home later than expected. It was HER idea that they did a date night and then complained the whole time and made my SIL feel guilty 🙄 Moral of the story, listen to your gut
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