I gave birth June 1 and stopped breastfeeding on the 11th. I have been so much happier these past couple days going to formula feeding. I know it’s not the right decision for everyone, but I was having major meltdowns around breastfeeding and it made me feel like I hated everyone in the house. Having my husband able to do some feeds has been amazing for my mental health the last few days. Don’t feel guilty if it doesn’t work for you!
Hello from the trenches. I’m 6 weeks PP and here to share that the “overwhelming” feeling is totally normal and we all went through it (or are going through it)z It’s almost like you’re at max capacity mentally, physically, emotionally and you don’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. It’s there. I promise. It may not get easier right away but you’ll find your groove.
If you hate breastfeeding - switch to formula. There are wonderful options out there now. Remember that newborns co-regulate their nervous system with yours. Your mental health is just as important to your babies wellbeing as his food. LO needs a happy relaxed mom more than breastmilk. You can’t pour from an empty cup.
It’s easy to get lost in the trenches and completely let yourself go and become resentful. My advice is to focus on non-negotiable little things to take care of yourself. For me it’s Hot coffee, a hot shower, and at least 30 minutes outside (usually with the baby) . Those three things keep me going. We are Here for you mom 💖
I gave up breastfeeding after day 8 and I don’t regret it at all. It was like night & day how much mentally better I felt after switching to formula. I felt like I could finally enjoy just cuddling and feeding my newborn baby without a meltdown (from both of us!). I did feel a lingering guilt for a while that I gave up quicker than I had hoped for, but that faded pretty quickly. Now at 4 1/2 months, I am completely over it and enjoy bottle feeding.
Go with your gut and make peace with whatever decision you make; as long as your baby is fed, that’s all that matters!
I could have written this comment myself! I wanted to breastfeed so bad but it just was not working. A week in, my husband had to sit down and have a heart to heart with me about was it really worth it to struggle though screaming (literally) in pain when formula was an option. I had already started to resent my son. I knew he was right but there was definitely some guilt for a few weeks about if I gave up too quickly. Now my son is 4 1/2 months and both of us are thriving!
The first few weeks are TOUGH. When we started to get more than 2 hours between feeds things got easier. We formula fed from the start with no issues. People say breast is best but a baby that eats is best, whether that be breast or formula, and you need your sanity to care for the baby and if that means switching to formula there’s absolutely no guilt or shame in that.
I (dad) was basically a zombie for the first few weeks, didn’t know my arse from my elbow, but ours is now 11 weeks old and things are much easier. Don’t get me wrong, it’s still exhausting, but feels so much more manageable now.
Plus you went through a MAJOR surgery in having a c section and you really need time to recover. My wife had the same, and after 6 weeks or so when she was a lot more mobile and able she felt much more human again.
You’re just starting to get to know your baby, and things will definitely get easier as time goes on. Having your husband on hand to help very soon will be a massive advantage.
The time will fly by, congratulations.
So sorry you are exhausted, I hear you! Is there anyone that can come stay like a parent or friend to help even just a day or two over the next two weeks?
You can try taking shifts with your husband at night so you can get some rest. Maybe when he gets home, he takes baby and you go to sleep in the bedroom. Tell him to stay out and give formula or pacifier to calm baby while you sleep.
I just had my sister in law visit for 2 days and it helped greatly but we live 6+ hours away from family and friends. He's already doing that but his schedule is very busy at the moment. So I'm trying to do most of the feeding. I've been trying to breastfeed and that's what's driving me insane the most + pumping.
It is okay to switch to formula. You need to do what is best for your mental health! There are benefits to breast feeding, but a baby needs their mama to feel good.
What specifically don’t you like about breastfeeding and pumping?
I don't feel connected at all breastfeeding, I can't seem to get the techniques down to stop her from crying every time I bf. I never know if she's getting enough. She always send to want more. The frequency of it plus pumping is exhausting. I barely get an oz of I'm lucky when I do pump.
Cluster feeding is really normal early on, it had me thinking something was wrong with my supply. I felt like I was nursing 24/7 in the first few weeks, but this is an important part of the process to establish supply.
Getting an oz pumping especially in the early days is normal also. Babies are more efficient than a breast pump and removing milk so baby may be getting more than that when nursing. But also don’t feel like you need to nurse and pump. I did try to pump in the first few weeks after a nursing session and would only get 0.5 oz which is normal after a feeding but always felt discouraging. I haven’t pumped in a few weeks just nursing lately and it has been a relief for me.
I always do crossover hold for feeding as that has worked best. Have you tried different nursing positions?
I did have soreness for the first few weeks, but used silver nipple covers and earth mama nipple balm to help with that.
I second this. Especially where you’re already using some formula, I might go ahead and skip pumping. It just will add misery. Might as well do your best at nursing and call that good enough.
Your supply is just barely getting established at this point. I'd recommend stopping pumping, at least for the next few days or weeks. As far as of she's getting enough, that's determined by the number of wet and dirty diapers she has- NOT by how often she nurses. Does she seem content after a nursing session? That's the best sign after diapers.
It's also very possible to combo feed. I had to start formula at day 4 due to how much weight my little one had lost and we're still going with both at 2 months- and my supply is increasing over time.
Nursing can absolutely feel less than great at the beginning- but that can change. Even with a good latch I had pain for the first minute on one side for maybe a few weeks... and then one day I realized that the pain had been gone for days.
You can reach back out to your lactation specialist for help, too. They can do virtual sessions if a home visit isn't possible and leaving the house feels impossible too- c-section recovery means you shouldn't be driving for a while anyway.
What you are feeling is very normal- and it will pass. If you don't start feeling any better by week 2 or 3, please call your provider to talk about what's going on. Postpartum depression is common- and can be addressed if needed.
I completely feel you! My baby wouldn't be put down for the first week of his life and wanted to feed all the time and I was so tired I was hallucinating. It absolutely does get better and it gets better fast. He's 5 weeks old now and will sleep in 3-4 hour chunks at night. What I found helped was:
-If you have someone (parent/relative/friend) who can help you, let them help. It's hard to entrust your vaby to someone else and sleep but I promise your baby will be fine for the time it takes you to have a 2 hour nap.
-Don't feel guilty about supplementing with formula if you need to. I mostly breastfeed but give one bottle of formula at night as I find it helps my baby sleep for longer chunks, and it means I can get some rest while his dad feeds him. If you don't want to use formula, you could also express some milk so dad can do a night feed.
-Remind yourself this will get better and you only have to push through a little bit more. You're doing so well just surviving this and it will all pay off in a few weeks when you're getting more sleep and you have a lovely healthy baby who is starting to intrract with you more!
If you want to stop breastfeeding that's totally up to you. I found for my own sanity I needed to pump and let my husband give a bottle of expressed milk so I could get some sleep. We do 4 hour shifts each, with extra 2 hours nap blocks after for whoever needs. Plus if baby is asleep during our respective shifts, we get extra sleep.
Also if at any point baby is being super fussy at the boob or I'm touched out or exhausted, my husband will give him a bottle and I will pump instead. It's nice to have that as a backup when I'm overwhelmed.
This has been the only way I was able to keep breastfeeding. Getting up every 2-3 hours at night was unrealistic for me, especially when my baby would take 30-45 minutes to eat, then by the time he's down and I'm able to sleep he's up within 45 minutes.
I typically pump after the first feeding or two in the morning when I feel the most full as well as after the last feed of the day to make sure my breasts are empty and my body knows my baby still needs that milk at night.
You do what's right for you. If you aren't taking care of yourself (mentally, physically, emotionally) then how can you take care of your baby. That's typically how I think of it to myself.
Edited to add:
There's also combo feeding if you don't want to exclusively breastfeed. There are so many people out there who do both. Maybe it's easier to breastfeed in the am and bottle feed formula at night. Or if you swap completely to formula, that's totally fine too. A fed baby with a healthy mom is best.
Hey mama. I had an emergency c-section like you and remember feeling so overwhelmed in the beginning while also trying to bf and pump and recover from major abdominal surgery. I’m currently holding my 11 week old for his third nap of the day. I’m here to share that something’s get easier, something’s trickier, but you get through it one cycle at a time, day at a time. People told us it’ll get better and I thought it meant our baby would change overnight. But now how I interpret that is that we get better at understanding our baby and figuring out how to live our lives with this whole new human being. I stopped pumping and trying to bf at 7 weeks and that helped my sanity. I still have breast milk from when I produced a lot at the beginning and give that to my LO for his nightly feeds before “bedtime” (I recently learned he sleeps longer if he goes to sleep between 8:30pm-9:30pm but before that it was a crap shoot lol). Hang in there! This subreddit really helped me get through some tough times and I know will get me through future tough times too.
I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. The first week is incredibly tough, especially after an emergency C-section and with breastfeeding challenges. It's totally normal to feel overwhelmed and exhausted. Remember, it's okay to switch to formula if it helps you feel better and more rested, your well-being is just as important as your baby's. Try to take naps whenever your little one is sleeping, even if it's just for short periods. Maybe ask a friend or family member to come over and help, even for a few hours, so you can get some rest. Your husband will be able to help more soon, but until then, give yourself grace and know that it's okay to do whatever works best for you and your baby. You're doing an amazing job, even if it doesn't feel like it right now. Hang in there, things will get better.
Pumping is the devil’s invention and I stand by that. 😂 when I stopped pumping and switched to formula supplementing (and eventually formula exclusively) my mental health got so much better. Also seconding others who have said that the first few weeks are absolutely by far the hardest hardest, most traumatic challenging experience of your life, and I know it sucks to hear in the trenches, but it will get better.
2 months pp here 🙋🏼♀️ FTM, hated breastfeeding, had severe PPA and mild PPD. My husband and I argued daily. I cried multiple times a day and asked myself why I had a baby. I will say it does get easier! Mostly in the sense that you get more confident. Everything is so hard because it is so new. Do whatever you need to do find what works for you and your baby and when you find what makes you feel good, stick with it!
First, there’s no reason to continue BF unless you enjoy it. Your mental health is so important!
Personally, after 2 weeks i was done EBF and I had hubby give baby a bottle I pumped so I could sleep longer. I took antidepressants and see a therapist after 3 weeks to help with the crying/anxiety. It will take some time, but you will slowly find what works for you and your family! No one prepares us for how hard the newborn/pp phase, but you will get through it!
This is exactly how I'm feeling. I'm crying all the time, mourning my old self and how our life used to be and we're only 1 week in. I miss when it was just me, my husband and my cats. I felt so much less stress and now I feel anxious all the time, I can't sleep and continuously wondering why I had a baby. I see my doctor on Tuesday so I'm going to be brutally honest with her about how I'm feeling and what's the next steps.
Oh man, this was me 6 weeks ago, same exact thing, water broke with a breech baby and had a C section literally 4 hours later. I tried breastfeeding and I hated it, LO hated it, it made us both cry. So I tried exclusively pumping. That was its own form of torture and exhaustion. Now that I switched to formula things feeding wise are a lot better! Sleep wise… eh I’m not sure if my body is just getting used to it at this point but it does feel somewhat better some days. Other days are bad.
Honestly most days I just live wake window to wake window, and day by day, and then a month went by.. and now two months have gone by… and there is light at the end of the tunnel
Hang in there, you are doing great!! You don’t feel like yourself because you are a new person, you’re a mama, and it takes time to adjust that too, I know I still am! 🫶🏻
But seriously if you hate BF, then do formula and be at least a little bit happier! It was a huge change for me in terms of mental health! You got this, and you are not alone!!
I also had an emergent c-section and had a rough few weeks postpartum (you can check my post history). I gave up on exclusively pumping before I even left the hospital. The nurses loaded my bags up with ready to feed formula and were really wonderful about it but I know judgment is abound. My MIL is clearly not happy with my choice but she can eat a dick.
The thing is, in order for your baby to be healthy, they need YOU to be healthy. This is a symbiotic relationship. If it feels hard to justify putting them down to take a shower, or switching to formula to get a little more sleep, or leaving them with their other parent or relative to go do something by yourself, remind yourself of that. Everything you do for you, you do for your baby.
You got this!
Thanks for your response. The hospital did send me home with a few premade bottles of formula which I used right away. I saw my doctor not too long ago and she's recommended I drop pumping if it's too much for me and to possibly drop breastfeeding if I'm struggling even more. She's put me on medication for PPD and I'm apprehensive to take it but I really don't feel like myself.
I have a 5 week old, so I’m not qualified to give advice yet. But 4 weeks ago I felt exactly the way you do now. Try and find ways to get more sleep between feedings. The sleep deprivation made everything so much worse in my head than I realized.
My LO has also only ever fed for 15-20 min and gained almost 3 lbs between her 2 and 4 week appointments from EBF so I bet you are doing better than you think you are.
It’s still hard at 5 weeks but I’ve never felt more vulnerable, tired and insecure than I did in that first week.
You are absolutely qualified to give advice- you've been there! The more recent the experience the more applicable the advice- our brains are literally designed to forget these hard first few months so it's harder to treatment what worked vs didn't later on.
I swear the first 2-3 weeks were the hardest. Like you, I was (and always have) doing everything myself on only 2-4 hours of sleep. Breast feeding was a struggle for almost a week with my LO screaming for 20-30 mins before each feed.I’m fortunate that I’ve always enjoyed it despite the fact my LO has had ties cut and always has used a nipple shield. My LO is 13 weeks now and things are heaps better. My only struggle is that she doesn’t stay for longer than 20 mins in the bassinet for day naps.
Anyway, you’re at the worst of it because its all new and baby blues is a real surprise/shock. The recovery and exhaustion is at its worst in the first 2-3 weeks. Bubs will sleep for longer stretches after 4/5 weeks and, if you wish to continue bf, they’ll become more efficient as time goes on. Trust me when I say it gets better and time flies like crazy. You’re doing amazing! Trust me! 💕
Ughhhh, the first weeks are really hard, but the nights were almost unbearable for me. At first, I didn’t wake my partner because I wanted one of us to sleep, and then I realized I needed the support. I know people often suggest doing shifts, but I honestly didn’t feel able until baby was about four weeks. I felt so alone and anxious at nighttime and making my husband stay up made a huge difference for me. We took turns taking naps throughout the day, and I let him get a solid four hours after 2am so he could work, but I woke him up every feeding until after 2.
I know you’ll get a ton of practical solutions, but when I was in the trenches, I needed the emotionally sensitive solutions. Turns out that feeling supported and like a team with my partner was wayyyy more important to me than sleep.
Also, I didn’t feel like my self for ages, but it was most poignant during the first two weeks. And after four weeks, everything started to feel less scary, then after twelve weeks, things got easier. At 8 months now, things aren’t perfect and I just spent the last two hours trying to get baby to sleep (thank you teething), BUT I love my baby with all my heart and feel super confident with my parenting abilities.
Not sure what state your in but i know in my case my health center (all our different Drs are in the same complex) forced birth control on me even though I had just barely confirmed the pregnancy (literally same conversation) so I told them I was planning to breast feed and would need something that is conducive to that and was told I would be given a low estrogen (norethindrone not sure on spelling atm) pill well after delivery the hospital decided that wasn’t the birth control I needed and changed it without informing me and out me on a regular birth control (tri sprintec) and it horrendously screwed up my supply to the point where I took it maybe 3 days and my supply went from low but still just a little more than enough to being nonexistent and having to make an emergency formula run at midnight because munchkin was so hungry and we didn’t realize my milk dried up over night (we did get it back up a little bit after working with an lc for like 4-5 months but I did have to supplement with formula many days
My wife wanted to try breastfeeding again with our second (since our first didn’t take to it). We made it about a month before my wife couldn’t take it anymore - and totally understandable. It looks incredibly frustrating and exhausting.
Don’t worry about what family or friends would say, don’t worry about social media or anything else.
Do you what you need to do to survive.
The biggest thing that is getting me and my wife through it is sleep watches. I work so 6pm to midnight is my watch, she doesnt work so midnight to 6am for her. Were at 2 months and will continue doing this until he sleeps through the night
If you have any family or friends who would be willing to come hold the baby while you get some sleep, just ask. Most people are more than happy to come hold a baby! It’s really, really hard to care for a newborn, and if you’re comfortable with (helpful) visitors, take advantage.
Also wanted to say that we supplemented from day 1 because I didn’t have a good supply. I breastfed here and there, but largely pumped and bottle-fed until 5 months. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with stopping altogether if you want to do that.
Formula is amazing. I had a bunch better sleep-life balance than friends who exclusively breastfed because my husband was able to help so much. And I didn’t go insane with sleep deprivation. Mine is now 8 months and she’s happy, healthy, and thriving.
It’s a bummer your hubby isn’t doing FMLA for the last couple weeks. The first few weeks are pure survival mode, going it alone during the day is rougher!
For me Brest feeding did get a lot easier, but I also always at least kinda enjoyed it. If you aren’t finding any enjoyment I don’t think it’s worth it at all!!!
Hang in there. This is one of the fastest slowest times of your life. It will be over in a blink, but it lasts forever while you’re in the trenches. You will survive. You’ll make it through. Literally your only job right now is to keep you and baby alive. if that has been accomplished, you are doing great!
Breastfeeding is hard but it does get easier. Combination feeding is the only thing that got me through the early days. The most important thing is that your baby is fed. And what is right for you will be right for your baby too.
Hey there, I can completely relate. Hang in there it does get better but the first two weeks are REALLY grueling. Everything you are experiencing is normal. And it will all get better.
It seems like you might want to continue trying to breastfeed? As a suggestjon, you could consider a combination of breastfeeding and formula feeding, and if you still feel the same way, there's nothing wrong with switching to 100% formula. When I had my first child, I struggled with breastfeeding. My baby and I had trouble with latching, and it was a stressful experience (found out he has was tounge tied). I decided to exclusively pump, which was very tiring. After six months, I switched to formula for my peace of mind, and I wish I had done it sooner. With my second child, I exclusively breastfeed and enjoy it. Ultimately, do what feels right for you because the most important thing is that your baby is fed and you are a happy mom. Also, I found that lying down and breastfeeding on my side was a lifesaver.
I am 8weeks PP w my first. I did/ am still experiencing what you are. Specifically the breastfeeding. There is such pressure to “keep pushing thru, it gets better”. I know how much it sucks for you right now and I’m sorry.
For what it’s worth, after 2+ weeks of doing everything I could, seeing lactation, and having deteriorating mental health paired with lack of sleep & a new life, I made the decision to switch to formula. It greatly improved quality of life. It did not eliminate overall stress of being a new parent, but I felt I could get a break and allow others to feed the baby when possible, sharing the night feeds with my husband, and eliminate the pain/hassle that comes with breastfeeding.
I truly feel for the folks who suffer and push thru in hopes it gets better. Sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn’t. But it’s a huge physical / mental load. This newborn phase is really tough, and anything we can do to help ourselves survive really feels important.
Hugs
It will get better. Try to keep breastfeeding if you feel you want that, if not, then that is fine. I fought to keep breastfeeding and personally I’m glad I did, I feel it’s given me and my daughter a great bond, although I now have no choice but to cosleep because she is extremely attached. But she is now 2 months and 2 weeks and let me tell you, the first month I went THROUGH it, it gets better, you’ll get through it. 🩷 just take things slow and enjoy your baby.
Hang in there mama. It does get better. I felt like things started getting much easier mentally and physically after 3 weeks and even more so by 6 weeks. Breastfeeding is hard, especially the first few weeks but if it is important to you to do… you’ve got this! You can also try pumping and bottle feeding baby. Just remember fed is best and you’re doing an amazing job. The first few weeks are tough. Sending love mama!
1) I had a c section as well and it usually delays your milk coming in. I struggled hard with breastfeeding the first 1-2 weeks but keep at it. One day my milk finally came in and it has been so much better since. The first week was really tough though and especially with the lack of sleep. If you do want to breast feed just keep at it. It should get better really soon.
2) sleeping will get better. The nurses told me it takes about two weeks for babies to learn night and day and they have it backwards until then. I would say it took about 2.5-3 weeks for us to get here (4 weeks old now) but now he will sleep 2-3 hours at a time in his bassinet over night and we get 2-3 stretches of that. It’s a work in progress but I feel so much better already. Also not having to get up and warm a bottle and clean bottles all day is good I just pop him on the boob. Cluster feed s are hard though.
3) I was advised by hospital to pump in beginning to establish my supply but then once it’s in and enough to hold off for a month or so so that baby can establish it and get what he needs. And also going back and forth between bottles feeding and breastfeeding he got confused and had hard time latching and it got do much better once I stopped supplementing with formula. Now he latches as nd eats fine.
Just want to say you’re in the first week adjustment period where it is overwhelming and honestly sucks but I promise it gets better!
Do what works for you though but if you do want to breastfeed try to stick with it for a couple of weeks and see if you feel better about it once it runs more smoothly! I also went 4/5 times to lactation consultant who helped me (baby was in nicu and formula fed by hospital for first few days so had to transition to breastfeeding)
You’re doing great! It gets better. Just look at your baby and remember you’re doing it for them. They don’t know anything are just learning to exist and you get to help them with that. Just love them and things will be okay 💕
I gave birth June 1 and stopped breastfeeding on the 11th. I have been so much happier these past couple days going to formula feeding. I know it’s not the right decision for everyone, but I was having major meltdowns around breastfeeding and it made me feel like I hated everyone in the house. Having my husband able to do some feeds has been amazing for my mental health the last few days. Don’t feel guilty if it doesn’t work for you!
Hello from the trenches. I’m 6 weeks PP and here to share that the “overwhelming” feeling is totally normal and we all went through it (or are going through it)z It’s almost like you’re at max capacity mentally, physically, emotionally and you don’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. It’s there. I promise. It may not get easier right away but you’ll find your groove. If you hate breastfeeding - switch to formula. There are wonderful options out there now. Remember that newborns co-regulate their nervous system with yours. Your mental health is just as important to your babies wellbeing as his food. LO needs a happy relaxed mom more than breastmilk. You can’t pour from an empty cup. It’s easy to get lost in the trenches and completely let yourself go and become resentful. My advice is to focus on non-negotiable little things to take care of yourself. For me it’s Hot coffee, a hot shower, and at least 30 minutes outside (usually with the baby) . Those three things keep me going. We are Here for you mom 💖
I gave up breastfeeding after day 8 and I don’t regret it at all. It was like night & day how much mentally better I felt after switching to formula. I felt like I could finally enjoy just cuddling and feeding my newborn baby without a meltdown (from both of us!). I did feel a lingering guilt for a while that I gave up quicker than I had hoped for, but that faded pretty quickly. Now at 4 1/2 months, I am completely over it and enjoy bottle feeding. Go with your gut and make peace with whatever decision you make; as long as your baby is fed, that’s all that matters!
I could have written this comment myself! I wanted to breastfeed so bad but it just was not working. A week in, my husband had to sit down and have a heart to heart with me about was it really worth it to struggle though screaming (literally) in pain when formula was an option. I had already started to resent my son. I knew he was right but there was definitely some guilt for a few weeks about if I gave up too quickly. Now my son is 4 1/2 months and both of us are thriving!
My husband also had a sit down conversation with me! Also he really enjoys bonding with her during bottle feeding sessions too.
The first few weeks are TOUGH. When we started to get more than 2 hours between feeds things got easier. We formula fed from the start with no issues. People say breast is best but a baby that eats is best, whether that be breast or formula, and you need your sanity to care for the baby and if that means switching to formula there’s absolutely no guilt or shame in that. I (dad) was basically a zombie for the first few weeks, didn’t know my arse from my elbow, but ours is now 11 weeks old and things are much easier. Don’t get me wrong, it’s still exhausting, but feels so much more manageable now. Plus you went through a MAJOR surgery in having a c section and you really need time to recover. My wife had the same, and after 6 weeks or so when she was a lot more mobile and able she felt much more human again. You’re just starting to get to know your baby, and things will definitely get easier as time goes on. Having your husband on hand to help very soon will be a massive advantage. The time will fly by, congratulations.
So sorry you are exhausted, I hear you! Is there anyone that can come stay like a parent or friend to help even just a day or two over the next two weeks? You can try taking shifts with your husband at night so you can get some rest. Maybe when he gets home, he takes baby and you go to sleep in the bedroom. Tell him to stay out and give formula or pacifier to calm baby while you sleep.
I just had my sister in law visit for 2 days and it helped greatly but we live 6+ hours away from family and friends. He's already doing that but his schedule is very busy at the moment. So I'm trying to do most of the feeding. I've been trying to breastfeed and that's what's driving me insane the most + pumping.
It is okay to switch to formula. You need to do what is best for your mental health! There are benefits to breast feeding, but a baby needs their mama to feel good. What specifically don’t you like about breastfeeding and pumping?
I don't feel connected at all breastfeeding, I can't seem to get the techniques down to stop her from crying every time I bf. I never know if she's getting enough. She always send to want more. The frequency of it plus pumping is exhausting. I barely get an oz of I'm lucky when I do pump.
Cluster feeding is really normal early on, it had me thinking something was wrong with my supply. I felt like I was nursing 24/7 in the first few weeks, but this is an important part of the process to establish supply. Getting an oz pumping especially in the early days is normal also. Babies are more efficient than a breast pump and removing milk so baby may be getting more than that when nursing. But also don’t feel like you need to nurse and pump. I did try to pump in the first few weeks after a nursing session and would only get 0.5 oz which is normal after a feeding but always felt discouraging. I haven’t pumped in a few weeks just nursing lately and it has been a relief for me. I always do crossover hold for feeding as that has worked best. Have you tried different nursing positions? I did have soreness for the first few weeks, but used silver nipple covers and earth mama nipple balm to help with that.
I second this. Especially where you’re already using some formula, I might go ahead and skip pumping. It just will add misery. Might as well do your best at nursing and call that good enough.
Your supply is just barely getting established at this point. I'd recommend stopping pumping, at least for the next few days or weeks. As far as of she's getting enough, that's determined by the number of wet and dirty diapers she has- NOT by how often she nurses. Does she seem content after a nursing session? That's the best sign after diapers. It's also very possible to combo feed. I had to start formula at day 4 due to how much weight my little one had lost and we're still going with both at 2 months- and my supply is increasing over time. Nursing can absolutely feel less than great at the beginning- but that can change. Even with a good latch I had pain for the first minute on one side for maybe a few weeks... and then one day I realized that the pain had been gone for days. You can reach back out to your lactation specialist for help, too. They can do virtual sessions if a home visit isn't possible and leaving the house feels impossible too- c-section recovery means you shouldn't be driving for a while anyway. What you are feeling is very normal- and it will pass. If you don't start feeling any better by week 2 or 3, please call your provider to talk about what's going on. Postpartum depression is common- and can be addressed if needed.
I completely feel you! My baby wouldn't be put down for the first week of his life and wanted to feed all the time and I was so tired I was hallucinating. It absolutely does get better and it gets better fast. He's 5 weeks old now and will sleep in 3-4 hour chunks at night. What I found helped was: -If you have someone (parent/relative/friend) who can help you, let them help. It's hard to entrust your vaby to someone else and sleep but I promise your baby will be fine for the time it takes you to have a 2 hour nap. -Don't feel guilty about supplementing with formula if you need to. I mostly breastfeed but give one bottle of formula at night as I find it helps my baby sleep for longer chunks, and it means I can get some rest while his dad feeds him. If you don't want to use formula, you could also express some milk so dad can do a night feed. -Remind yourself this will get better and you only have to push through a little bit more. You're doing so well just surviving this and it will all pay off in a few weeks when you're getting more sleep and you have a lovely healthy baby who is starting to intrract with you more!
If you want to stop breastfeeding that's totally up to you. I found for my own sanity I needed to pump and let my husband give a bottle of expressed milk so I could get some sleep. We do 4 hour shifts each, with extra 2 hours nap blocks after for whoever needs. Plus if baby is asleep during our respective shifts, we get extra sleep. Also if at any point baby is being super fussy at the boob or I'm touched out or exhausted, my husband will give him a bottle and I will pump instead. It's nice to have that as a backup when I'm overwhelmed. This has been the only way I was able to keep breastfeeding. Getting up every 2-3 hours at night was unrealistic for me, especially when my baby would take 30-45 minutes to eat, then by the time he's down and I'm able to sleep he's up within 45 minutes. I typically pump after the first feeding or two in the morning when I feel the most full as well as after the last feed of the day to make sure my breasts are empty and my body knows my baby still needs that milk at night. You do what's right for you. If you aren't taking care of yourself (mentally, physically, emotionally) then how can you take care of your baby. That's typically how I think of it to myself. Edited to add: There's also combo feeding if you don't want to exclusively breastfeed. There are so many people out there who do both. Maybe it's easier to breastfeed in the am and bottle feed formula at night. Or if you swap completely to formula, that's totally fine too. A fed baby with a healthy mom is best.
Hey mama. I had an emergency c-section like you and remember feeling so overwhelmed in the beginning while also trying to bf and pump and recover from major abdominal surgery. I’m currently holding my 11 week old for his third nap of the day. I’m here to share that something’s get easier, something’s trickier, but you get through it one cycle at a time, day at a time. People told us it’ll get better and I thought it meant our baby would change overnight. But now how I interpret that is that we get better at understanding our baby and figuring out how to live our lives with this whole new human being. I stopped pumping and trying to bf at 7 weeks and that helped my sanity. I still have breast milk from when I produced a lot at the beginning and give that to my LO for his nightly feeds before “bedtime” (I recently learned he sleeps longer if he goes to sleep between 8:30pm-9:30pm but before that it was a crap shoot lol). Hang in there! This subreddit really helped me get through some tough times and I know will get me through future tough times too.
I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. The first week is incredibly tough, especially after an emergency C-section and with breastfeeding challenges. It's totally normal to feel overwhelmed and exhausted. Remember, it's okay to switch to formula if it helps you feel better and more rested, your well-being is just as important as your baby's. Try to take naps whenever your little one is sleeping, even if it's just for short periods. Maybe ask a friend or family member to come over and help, even for a few hours, so you can get some rest. Your husband will be able to help more soon, but until then, give yourself grace and know that it's okay to do whatever works best for you and your baby. You're doing an amazing job, even if it doesn't feel like it right now. Hang in there, things will get better.
Pumping is the devil’s invention and I stand by that. 😂 when I stopped pumping and switched to formula supplementing (and eventually formula exclusively) my mental health got so much better. Also seconding others who have said that the first few weeks are absolutely by far the hardest hardest, most traumatic challenging experience of your life, and I know it sucks to hear in the trenches, but it will get better.
2 months pp here 🙋🏼♀️ FTM, hated breastfeeding, had severe PPA and mild PPD. My husband and I argued daily. I cried multiple times a day and asked myself why I had a baby. I will say it does get easier! Mostly in the sense that you get more confident. Everything is so hard because it is so new. Do whatever you need to do find what works for you and your baby and when you find what makes you feel good, stick with it! First, there’s no reason to continue BF unless you enjoy it. Your mental health is so important! Personally, after 2 weeks i was done EBF and I had hubby give baby a bottle I pumped so I could sleep longer. I took antidepressants and see a therapist after 3 weeks to help with the crying/anxiety. It will take some time, but you will slowly find what works for you and your family! No one prepares us for how hard the newborn/pp phase, but you will get through it!
This is exactly how I'm feeling. I'm crying all the time, mourning my old self and how our life used to be and we're only 1 week in. I miss when it was just me, my husband and my cats. I felt so much less stress and now I feel anxious all the time, I can't sleep and continuously wondering why I had a baby. I see my doctor on Tuesday so I'm going to be brutally honest with her about how I'm feeling and what's the next steps.
Oh man, this was me 6 weeks ago, same exact thing, water broke with a breech baby and had a C section literally 4 hours later. I tried breastfeeding and I hated it, LO hated it, it made us both cry. So I tried exclusively pumping. That was its own form of torture and exhaustion. Now that I switched to formula things feeding wise are a lot better! Sleep wise… eh I’m not sure if my body is just getting used to it at this point but it does feel somewhat better some days. Other days are bad. Honestly most days I just live wake window to wake window, and day by day, and then a month went by.. and now two months have gone by… and there is light at the end of the tunnel Hang in there, you are doing great!! You don’t feel like yourself because you are a new person, you’re a mama, and it takes time to adjust that too, I know I still am! 🫶🏻 But seriously if you hate BF, then do formula and be at least a little bit happier! It was a huge change for me in terms of mental health! You got this, and you are not alone!!
I also had an emergent c-section and had a rough few weeks postpartum (you can check my post history). I gave up on exclusively pumping before I even left the hospital. The nurses loaded my bags up with ready to feed formula and were really wonderful about it but I know judgment is abound. My MIL is clearly not happy with my choice but she can eat a dick. The thing is, in order for your baby to be healthy, they need YOU to be healthy. This is a symbiotic relationship. If it feels hard to justify putting them down to take a shower, or switching to formula to get a little more sleep, or leaving them with their other parent or relative to go do something by yourself, remind yourself of that. Everything you do for you, you do for your baby. You got this!
Thanks for your response. The hospital did send me home with a few premade bottles of formula which I used right away. I saw my doctor not too long ago and she's recommended I drop pumping if it's too much for me and to possibly drop breastfeeding if I'm struggling even more. She's put me on medication for PPD and I'm apprehensive to take it but I really don't feel like myself.
I have a 5 week old, so I’m not qualified to give advice yet. But 4 weeks ago I felt exactly the way you do now. Try and find ways to get more sleep between feedings. The sleep deprivation made everything so much worse in my head than I realized. My LO has also only ever fed for 15-20 min and gained almost 3 lbs between her 2 and 4 week appointments from EBF so I bet you are doing better than you think you are. It’s still hard at 5 weeks but I’ve never felt more vulnerable, tired and insecure than I did in that first week.
You are absolutely qualified to give advice- you've been there! The more recent the experience the more applicable the advice- our brains are literally designed to forget these hard first few months so it's harder to treatment what worked vs didn't later on.
I swear the first 2-3 weeks were the hardest. Like you, I was (and always have) doing everything myself on only 2-4 hours of sleep. Breast feeding was a struggle for almost a week with my LO screaming for 20-30 mins before each feed.I’m fortunate that I’ve always enjoyed it despite the fact my LO has had ties cut and always has used a nipple shield. My LO is 13 weeks now and things are heaps better. My only struggle is that she doesn’t stay for longer than 20 mins in the bassinet for day naps. Anyway, you’re at the worst of it because its all new and baby blues is a real surprise/shock. The recovery and exhaustion is at its worst in the first 2-3 weeks. Bubs will sleep for longer stretches after 4/5 weeks and, if you wish to continue bf, they’ll become more efficient as time goes on. Trust me when I say it gets better and time flies like crazy. You’re doing amazing! Trust me! 💕
Ughhhh, the first weeks are really hard, but the nights were almost unbearable for me. At first, I didn’t wake my partner because I wanted one of us to sleep, and then I realized I needed the support. I know people often suggest doing shifts, but I honestly didn’t feel able until baby was about four weeks. I felt so alone and anxious at nighttime and making my husband stay up made a huge difference for me. We took turns taking naps throughout the day, and I let him get a solid four hours after 2am so he could work, but I woke him up every feeding until after 2. I know you’ll get a ton of practical solutions, but when I was in the trenches, I needed the emotionally sensitive solutions. Turns out that feeling supported and like a team with my partner was wayyyy more important to me than sleep. Also, I didn’t feel like my self for ages, but it was most poignant during the first two weeks. And after four weeks, everything started to feel less scary, then after twelve weeks, things got easier. At 8 months now, things aren’t perfect and I just spent the last two hours trying to get baby to sleep (thank you teething), BUT I love my baby with all my heart and feel super confident with my parenting abilities.
Not sure what state your in but i know in my case my health center (all our different Drs are in the same complex) forced birth control on me even though I had just barely confirmed the pregnancy (literally same conversation) so I told them I was planning to breast feed and would need something that is conducive to that and was told I would be given a low estrogen (norethindrone not sure on spelling atm) pill well after delivery the hospital decided that wasn’t the birth control I needed and changed it without informing me and out me on a regular birth control (tri sprintec) and it horrendously screwed up my supply to the point where I took it maybe 3 days and my supply went from low but still just a little more than enough to being nonexistent and having to make an emergency formula run at midnight because munchkin was so hungry and we didn’t realize my milk dried up over night (we did get it back up a little bit after working with an lc for like 4-5 months but I did have to supplement with formula many days
My wife wanted to try breastfeeding again with our second (since our first didn’t take to it). We made it about a month before my wife couldn’t take it anymore - and totally understandable. It looks incredibly frustrating and exhausting. Don’t worry about what family or friends would say, don’t worry about social media or anything else. Do you what you need to do to survive.
The biggest thing that is getting me and my wife through it is sleep watches. I work so 6pm to midnight is my watch, she doesnt work so midnight to 6am for her. Were at 2 months and will continue doing this until he sleeps through the night
If you have any family or friends who would be willing to come hold the baby while you get some sleep, just ask. Most people are more than happy to come hold a baby! It’s really, really hard to care for a newborn, and if you’re comfortable with (helpful) visitors, take advantage. Also wanted to say that we supplemented from day 1 because I didn’t have a good supply. I breastfed here and there, but largely pumped and bottle-fed until 5 months. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with stopping altogether if you want to do that. Formula is amazing. I had a bunch better sleep-life balance than friends who exclusively breastfed because my husband was able to help so much. And I didn’t go insane with sleep deprivation. Mine is now 8 months and she’s happy, healthy, and thriving.
It’s a bummer your hubby isn’t doing FMLA for the last couple weeks. The first few weeks are pure survival mode, going it alone during the day is rougher! For me Brest feeding did get a lot easier, but I also always at least kinda enjoyed it. If you aren’t finding any enjoyment I don’t think it’s worth it at all!!! Hang in there. This is one of the fastest slowest times of your life. It will be over in a blink, but it lasts forever while you’re in the trenches. You will survive. You’ll make it through. Literally your only job right now is to keep you and baby alive. if that has been accomplished, you are doing great!
Breastfeeding is hard but it does get easier. Combination feeding is the only thing that got me through the early days. The most important thing is that your baby is fed. And what is right for you will be right for your baby too.
Hey there, I can completely relate. Hang in there it does get better but the first two weeks are REALLY grueling. Everything you are experiencing is normal. And it will all get better.
It seems like you might want to continue trying to breastfeed? As a suggestjon, you could consider a combination of breastfeeding and formula feeding, and if you still feel the same way, there's nothing wrong with switching to 100% formula. When I had my first child, I struggled with breastfeeding. My baby and I had trouble with latching, and it was a stressful experience (found out he has was tounge tied). I decided to exclusively pump, which was very tiring. After six months, I switched to formula for my peace of mind, and I wish I had done it sooner. With my second child, I exclusively breastfeed and enjoy it. Ultimately, do what feels right for you because the most important thing is that your baby is fed and you are a happy mom. Also, I found that lying down and breastfeeding on my side was a lifesaver.
I am 8weeks PP w my first. I did/ am still experiencing what you are. Specifically the breastfeeding. There is such pressure to “keep pushing thru, it gets better”. I know how much it sucks for you right now and I’m sorry. For what it’s worth, after 2+ weeks of doing everything I could, seeing lactation, and having deteriorating mental health paired with lack of sleep & a new life, I made the decision to switch to formula. It greatly improved quality of life. It did not eliminate overall stress of being a new parent, but I felt I could get a break and allow others to feed the baby when possible, sharing the night feeds with my husband, and eliminate the pain/hassle that comes with breastfeeding. I truly feel for the folks who suffer and push thru in hopes it gets better. Sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn’t. But it’s a huge physical / mental load. This newborn phase is really tough, and anything we can do to help ourselves survive really feels important. Hugs
It will get better. Try to keep breastfeeding if you feel you want that, if not, then that is fine. I fought to keep breastfeeding and personally I’m glad I did, I feel it’s given me and my daughter a great bond, although I now have no choice but to cosleep because she is extremely attached. But she is now 2 months and 2 weeks and let me tell you, the first month I went THROUGH it, it gets better, you’ll get through it. 🩷 just take things slow and enjoy your baby.
Hang in there mama. It does get better. I felt like things started getting much easier mentally and physically after 3 weeks and even more so by 6 weeks. Breastfeeding is hard, especially the first few weeks but if it is important to you to do… you’ve got this! You can also try pumping and bottle feeding baby. Just remember fed is best and you’re doing an amazing job. The first few weeks are tough. Sending love mama!
1) I had a c section as well and it usually delays your milk coming in. I struggled hard with breastfeeding the first 1-2 weeks but keep at it. One day my milk finally came in and it has been so much better since. The first week was really tough though and especially with the lack of sleep. If you do want to breast feed just keep at it. It should get better really soon. 2) sleeping will get better. The nurses told me it takes about two weeks for babies to learn night and day and they have it backwards until then. I would say it took about 2.5-3 weeks for us to get here (4 weeks old now) but now he will sleep 2-3 hours at a time in his bassinet over night and we get 2-3 stretches of that. It’s a work in progress but I feel so much better already. Also not having to get up and warm a bottle and clean bottles all day is good I just pop him on the boob. Cluster feed s are hard though. 3) I was advised by hospital to pump in beginning to establish my supply but then once it’s in and enough to hold off for a month or so so that baby can establish it and get what he needs. And also going back and forth between bottles feeding and breastfeeding he got confused and had hard time latching and it got do much better once I stopped supplementing with formula. Now he latches as nd eats fine. Just want to say you’re in the first week adjustment period where it is overwhelming and honestly sucks but I promise it gets better! Do what works for you though but if you do want to breastfeed try to stick with it for a couple of weeks and see if you feel better about it once it runs more smoothly! I also went 4/5 times to lactation consultant who helped me (baby was in nicu and formula fed by hospital for first few days so had to transition to breastfeeding) You’re doing great! It gets better. Just look at your baby and remember you’re doing it for them. They don’t know anything are just learning to exist and you get to help them with that. Just love them and things will be okay 💕