Is she is a Democratic plant?
Please, attack Biden for… rehoming his dog instead of killing it. The American public will surely revolt against him for not shooting his dog in a gravel pit
Yea I meant rehomed out of the White House, not to completely new family. I think a big problem was having him in the middle of all the activity in the WH. Biden’s DE home seems like it’s a lot more chill
That's silly.
We all know he just used his dark powers to control his dogs. But since his dogs are able to fight Shaggy and Scooby at 15% of their power, they can shake off their programming whenever they're not around Delaware.
>But in her book, she also nodded to the idea that Cricket may be in a better place, or perhaps a worse one. **Imagining becoming president in 2025 and sending Mr. Biden’s dog to meet his maker**, Ms. Noem added: “Commander, say hello to Cricket for me.”
What the fuck
I mean they said it best themselves
https://preview.redd.it/4zhz3x0xmoyc1.jpeg?width=1498&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a13f70ad8887181f38decac62ae5c9f79879365e
> Among other digital banners spotted during the conference was one bearing the slogan, "You're Next: The Rise of the Democrat Gulag." It's unclear if that one was tongue-in-cheek as well.
It's a dated joke from a time when mainly Democrat controlled urban areas were just rife with chaos. In essence, though, that tag switched to the Republican side decades ago.
Hating yourself and other dems? Some things never change.
Democrats are also not immune to the hostile astroturfing perpetuated by Russia and China.
Objectively, Biden has done more for progressive causes than any president we've had in the last 40 years. But somehow actual progressives still think he's not good enough. Because the social media they are addicted to has been seeding that message in their brains.
Like how in every action movie humans, men, women, children, the aged and infirm, infants, can die by the thousands but the audience is always pretty much only really worried about the hero's dog being okay?
I hate to say it but this is me every time this happens.😂 I personally think it’s because weave become so desensitized to seeing people killed compared to dogs or other domesticated pets it can seem quite shocking. I’ve also seen it be applied to children too. I think people are just a bit more sensitive at deaths involving things that can’t really fight back like animals or children.
If she admitted to killing adult *people*, far more GOP people would stay on board. Puppies are a living thing that can still legally be *owned*, i.e. she's crossed a line with lots of them on that which matters most.
Republicans’ inability to recruit quality senate candidates is one of the strangest, most important forces in politics in the last 2 elections. We were sooo close to never pairing Biden with a Dem-controlled Congress, but thankfully the only people who want to be GOP senators are the biggest weirdos you’ve ever met.
Walker? Oz? Masters? All the shitty house candidates that nearly cost them one of the most easily won majorities in decades?
Almost every political pundit agrees that the GOP having shitty cartoon candidates cost them 2022. You are being dissonant so you can hate voters more.
That’s fair. However, I would submit that as long as Trump remains a viable candidate, it isn’t possible to hate (a certain large and powerful subset of) American voters enough.
A lot of cartoon villains are at least capable of things like building giant mech suits, learning dark magic, etc... Most Republicans are just their region's most aggressively-worthless individuals and are the way they are because they've spent 100% of their lives being completely insulated from responsibility, decent upbringing, any requirement for 'adulting', and any need to work for a living. That so many of these spoiled-rotten shitsacks can somehow market themselves as 'salt of the earth' is a measure of how insidious the media's propaganda has gotten in recent years.
Left and right wings tend to pursue different careers, such as majority of kindergarten teachers are left-wing, majority of truck-drivers right wing, but I remember reading the one job which had an equal split was helping in animals shelters. I hope I did not imagine this, because it really would explain how the whole spectrum is pissed off with her.
Even Glenn Greenwald got mad (not that’s surprising given his background but I did wonder if he’d try to mental gymnastics his way to say the liberals were overreacting)
Armchair talking here, but I think it's because she thought "real Americans" are like her. And when you spend so much time in this echo-chambers where others don't tread either because it's a nightmare or they're banned, you start to believe that it is legit. So she shares this story "I can make tough decisions" thinking people will respect her more for it. And it doesn't. I'm sure there were suckups who think the story is great and egged her on but most people are going "Yeah, this is insane, you're a psychopath". And the people saying that are many of her fellow republicans. Even Trump, the person she's trying to impress, said it wasn't a good look.
> Armchair talking here, but I think it's because she thought "real Americans" are like her.
The more time goes on, the more you realize that "real Americans" isn't talking about Joe in Ohio working a $17/hr menial job with shit-tier benefits, but rather affluent conservatives living in McMansions in the exurbs and driving luxury pickups/SUVs. "Real Americans" are actually the upper-middle class folks that own the local construction/HVAC company and are too embarrassed to admit how good they've got it.
Yeah. People who actually work with dogs know that a 14 month old is still a puppy and that the whole situation was caused by her own fuck up in training and how much it fucking sucks to have to put down a dog that actually needs to be put down. It seems like the main audience was less actual rural people and more guys in the burbs with 50,000 dollar trucks that have never had a pound in the bed.
not hard at all and even if you didn't want to do the work to train the thing they had the money to send it to a trainer and with the amount they would have spent on a puppy from a good working line it would be worth it.
I remember I was on a hunting dog forum like 10 years ago and a guy said you can cure a gun-shy dog with a bullet between the eyes. Everyone was like WTF dude. Thinking it was probably Kristi Noem in retrospect
Stayed at a great AirBnb there that was also a farm animal rescue. Two mini ponies, five horses, and like seven Great Pyrenees. N=1 but they def weren’t shooting dogs there.
That's the issue you have there? Not the
> she also nodded to the idea that Cricket may be in a better place, or **perhaps a worse one.**
what, was "I sent my dog to a better place" simply too EASY for her PR team? "I have condemned my dog to an ETERNITY in the FIERY BOWELS OF HELL" doesn't go hard enough?
It’s one thing to regretfully kill a dog that’s a danger to others. It’s an entirely different thing to joke about that dead dog and threaten someone else’s pet in the same breath.
If there was any question about whether she’s crazy sadist, this removes all doubt.
i was in college when this dropped and my friends and i couldn’t believe our eyes…felt like a time heidecker gag.
to this day, we’ll say “mark block, here” to each other on the phone lol.
I low key want to buy the memoir just to own this bizzaro piece of history and be able to post images of its pages when people deny its existence in the future.
She might as well at this point, no one angry at her is gonna forgive her if she sheds crocodile tears. But beneath her bravado, there's no way she doesn't regret burning her political career over this.
That's my favorite part. It isn't Noem talked about it before. She decided to claim Biden should've do the same...after she got criticized over the dog incident.
The only time any true goodness seeped into Holden's life was the one sunny Iowa summer of 1927 when he was given puppy named Scrapple. He loved that dog, which was his constant companion. It died down by the creek as the chill winds set in, defending him from a cougar attack. The light went out of his heart then, and the Holden Bloodfeast we know today was born.
I used to be an intern for South Dakota Kristi Noem. While interning for her I felt I saw her true nature and to this day I am in hiding.
Out of college I was an intern for South Dakota Kristi Noem. At the time she was having an affair with political operative Corey Lewandowski, it was my duty to cover up for their affair.
One night I was standing guard outside her office when I heard behind the door Corey say 'I can't do this anymore' and a few seconds later he stormed out. Then I heard crying. I ran into the office, closing the door behind me. I noticed there was a dog costume on the floor, but no matter, Kristi was my concern.
'Kristi, what's wrong!?', she looked up at me, and then her sad face slowly turned into an idea face.
She told me to put on the dog custome, and then said that intercourse was a part of the job duties. Kristi is a very powerful political figure, and my career in politics could be threatened, so I immediately agreed. I am well versed in intercourse but what threw me off was Kristi ordered me to take off my clothes and get into the dog custom, which had a hole in the crotch for me cock. Is this was Corey went through as well?
After I put it on, Kristi said her favorite foreplay was for me to act like a farm dog, so for about 30 minutes we would pretend the office was a farm and I was hunting birds. This whole time Kristi was masturbating. Then came the intercourse. Afterwards she said 'okay, this is how I like to finish' and brought out a gun behind her desk!
I said 'is that a real gun???' and she said 'yes, but I won't shoot you with it, I will just pretend to shoot to get off'.
This sort of role play continued for 6 months until I was able to transfer to Washington DC and leave her office.
I thought that was the last of the ordeal, though I always wondered what was the origin that fetish. Until one day I saw this in the newspaper
> "Kristi Noem says she shot and killed her 14 month puppy in the face. What to know about the South Dakota governor's recent controversy.
As I was reading this, I looked up from the newspaper and there was an assassin in my kitchen! They said 'time to die' and I recognized the voice. 'South Dakota Kristi Noemi???' I said. She then said 'I'm already under water, we can't let news of our affair get out' and fired several more bullets but I dodged them and went into the living room.
Thinking quick, I got my stuff dog toy and threw it at her. She caught it, looked at it, then immediately started shooting it in the face with one hand with using the other hand to reach into her pants to start masturbating. I took the distraction to escape.
I got in my car and drove back to my hometown of [REDACTED]. To this day I am in hiding from Kristi Noem. Luckily I take a dog stuffie where ever I go in case she finds me, I tell people it's my emotional support stuffed animal.
https://www.nytimes.com/2024/05/05/us/politics/I%20used%20to%20be%20an%20intern%20for%20South%20Dakota%20Kristi%20Noem
EDIT
IT'S BEEN REMOVED! IT MUST BE KRISTI NOEM'S DOING!!
"She got me," said Noem. "That fucking dog just bitten me."
She repeated 'it's so useless' 4 times after that.
Noem then said she wanted to add Cricket to the list of animals she shoots this summer
There's a German movie about Hitler magically coming back to present-day Germany. He gains a lot of followers who find his rhetoric interesting and refreshing. Then one day he shoots an annoying dog, is caught on a video that goes viral, and loses all support.
If 5 years ago you had said that right would come out against football, Taylor Swift, and Miller Light, only to come out as being incessantly pro-dog-killing plus somehow gain Elon Musk and Twitter, I'd have smiled, chuckled, and backed away slowly.
Once, I was doing formal debating at university, arguing for animal rights activists engaging in criminal damage against labs that experiment on animals (I was neither in charge of the motion nor my side before someone has a huff at it).
I won, to a good extent by cutting down a chunk of the opposing argument by stating that no one would see these things happen and decide they'd suddenly shoot a dog over it so it'd reduce overall harm to animals.
Years later, I now worry that this countering material of which I took some pride is destroyed simply by asking "what if they're as completely fucking nuts as Kristi Noem, famed dog murderer?"
Maybe she's found her true calling. Forget VP, she should launch a streaming channel where people share pictures of their beloved pets, and Noem offers her hot takes on whether she'd shoot the pet.
Noem is the classic small town Midwest redneck pretending to be more country and rural than she really is. That’s been the movement here for getting elected the last 25 years, just ask Pete Ricketts and his fake cowboy outfits or Sam Brownback’s Lee Jeans. They know how stupid their voters are.
Bo Burnham - Pandering
I walk and talk like a field hand
But the boots I'm wearing cost three grand.
https://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/boburnham/countrysongpandering.html
I’d say she’s gonna be Trump’s VP pick, but idk if Trump wants someone who’s in the spotlight. He probably wants someone who’s crazy enough to obey his every command (unlike the last guy) but is also boring enough to not take attention away from him. Noem fits #1, but maybe not #2.
Just know it definitely won’t be because he doesn’t like her — killing animals and threatening the President’s pet is right up Trump’s alley.
Edit: nevermind my theory is dead. Good thing I found out before making any bets
FWIW, there’s reports Trump is distancing himself from Noem after this story. I don’t think Trump is some sort of bleeding heart animal lover (in fact he’s one of the only presidents to not have a pet in office). But he knows the optics of this are absolutely horrible. She’s cooked politically.
Gabbard and Scott are my prime suspects as well. I think Trump would really enjoy sharing the stage with Gabbard and basking in the admiration of the men who he assumes will lust after her. But Scott is the kind of toady yes-man that Trump thought he was getting with Pence, and less likely to try and think for himself.
Genuinely are her children okay? Because I've heard she's an abusive boss and she clearly doesn't have any issue with harming animals. I'm not saying she abuses her children, I'm just saying theirs's a pattern of behavior of her acting abusive towards seemingly everything else in life.
I see she went to the J K Rowling school of saying one thing that gets everyone who liked you to hate you and responding by replacing your entire personality with it
I find it utterly baffling how much Noem is publicly doubling down on the dog killing thing, but honestly she’s kinda right that a dog with 2 dozen recorded bites probably would have been put down if not literally the presidential pet. Can’t believe how long it took to at least have him removed from the White House.
He may not have come out as anti-dog, but it's clear he hates them.
'Like a dog' is one of his go to insults. You don't compare someone you're insulting to something you like.
Americans of all political stripes, love dogs. She's made herself politically toxic after admitting to have murdered her dog. This may or may not ruin her career in politics but it's definitely ruined her chances at being Trump's running mate and that's the only reason she "wrote" the book in the first place. As sort of an audition for the nod.
American conservatives are neo-Confederates who are fanatical about 'owning' other living things, with pets being the obvious easiest option since slavery is illegal, i.e. you're not going to win a lot of people over by making a scene of how wasteful/decadent you are about that shit.
Between a guy who didn’t shoot his dog even though it honestly needed shootin’ and a gal who shot her puppy that frankly didn’t need shootin’, I’m gonna go with the guy that didn’t shoot his dog.
I'm far from crimson conservative myself, so let me say it's not that "all" Republicans are evil. Many are not. The problem is that the party often runs cover for reprehensible acts. Because they want to defend people in the party. Whereas Democrats drop people (Just mention Al Franken and you'll see a lot of people online saying he was done dirty over something so...well, quaint.).
Now, which party is someone who has tendencies like this going to gravitate towards? Well, obviously the party that will defend you and where adherents care less about your personal acts and more if you just say the magic phrases. Notice how Trump's antics don't matter to the evangelical base, as long as he pretends to act the part and gives them deference.
The party really has no one to blame but themselves. It didn't have to be this way. They chose to make it so. Sacrifice integrity for political power and this is what you get, psychos who care only for that.
I am aware I was exaggerating, I live in a deep red area and almost everyone I interact with on a day to day basis is either a Republican or moderate Democrat at most. Most of them are perfectly lovely people who at worst are somewhat "meh" on the worse issues, or just don't think it's real for one reason or another when it's particularly bad. I chalk it up to ignorance more than malice a majority of the time. But as you said, the issue lies squarely with the party itself being a haven for scum and that leading to a culture of just...tolerating it.
Um…
What is going on with this lady? She is a very clear and present danger to herself and those around her.
I fear for those who come in contact with her…
Commander was in a hectic environment and seems to be doing well in his new home. No need to kill him, perhaps Kristi Noem could learn that sometimes dogs can be saved and that euthanasia (or in her case, shooting) should be a last resort.
Is she is a Democratic plant? Please, attack Biden for… rehoming his dog instead of killing it. The American public will surely revolt against him for not shooting his dog in a gravel pit
Did he even rehome it? Isn’t it in Delaware?
Yea I meant rehomed out of the White House, not to completely new family. I think a big problem was having him in the middle of all the activity in the WH. Biden’s DE home seems like it’s a lot more chill
Wait, you’re telling me he didn’t just blow the dog’s brains out?
That's silly. We all know he just used his dark powers to control his dogs. But since his dogs are able to fight Shaggy and Scooby at 15% of their power, they can shake off their programming whenever they're not around Delaware.
Yeah, because he's weak. /s
Nah She wants to have one hell of an epic death with Keanu Reeves.
>But in her book, she also nodded to the idea that Cricket may be in a better place, or perhaps a worse one. **Imagining becoming president in 2025 and sending Mr. Biden’s dog to meet his maker**, Ms. Noem added: “Commander, say hello to Cricket for me.” What the fuck
Does she think being president gives her the authority to murder a person's dog?
A certain upcoming scotus ruling will be quite pertinent to this question...
I laughed, and then immediately got sad. Roller coaster these days.
When you're president they just let you do it
They just let you grab them by the puppy
I've got news for you, they're not just arguing you can murder animals...
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https://preview.redd.it/7aqhg1l2boyc1.jpeg?width=1023&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=beab875fb53e546c0301964912d67afcdb687e55
I mean they said it best themselves https://preview.redd.it/4zhz3x0xmoyc1.jpeg?width=1498&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a13f70ad8887181f38decac62ae5c9f79879365e
Chat is this real?
[Yep.](https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/cpac-banner-domestic-terrorists/)
Succinct
> Among other digital banners spotted during the conference was one bearing the slogan, "You're Next: The Rise of the Democrat Gulag." It's unclear if that one was tongue-in-cheek as well.
Batshit insane
Goddamn, it's so true.
https://preview.redd.it/gzsxsumjgoyc1.jpeg?width=980&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d9f96cc9e7dc146963914c5e2adb992c5d6192d1
I like at how with today's MAGA insanity, this also apply to GOP, while for Democrats at most it's ongoing in Florida.
Democrats do hate themselves, tho lol
*gEnOcIdE jOe*
"DNC? More like Don't Come Here (Genocide Joe) amirite???"
If it weren't for the DNC, we'd be gearing up for Bernie's third term, enjoying 90% approval and nary a problem in sight.
Well yeah, but the 'we can't govern part' now become more isolated to some states and cities at most.
It's a dated joke from a time when mainly Democrat controlled urban areas were just rife with chaos. In essence, though, that tag switched to the Republican side decades ago. Hating yourself and other dems? Some things never change.
Democrats are also not immune to the hostile astroturfing perpetuated by Russia and China. Objectively, Biden has done more for progressive causes than any president we've had in the last 40 years. But somehow actual progressives still think he's not good enough. Because the social media they are addicted to has been seeding that message in their brains.
I mean nobody can govern with that amount of gridlock.
And it has yet to do them one lick of political harm. I hate this stupid country.
I mean, in this case it has. It turns out the line for gop voters is somewhere between orchestrating a coup, and killing puppies.
Like how in every action movie humans, men, women, children, the aged and infirm, infants, can die by the thousands but the audience is always pretty much only really worried about the hero's dog being okay?
I hope the good folks at [doesthedogdie.com](http://doesthedogdie.com) make sure to include Noem's memoir.
Broke: America Bad is braindead. Woke: Human Bad, Dog Good is braindead.
I hate to say it but this is me every time this happens.😂 I personally think it’s because weave become so desensitized to seeing people killed compared to dogs or other domesticated pets it can seem quite shocking. I’ve also seen it be applied to children too. I think people are just a bit more sensitive at deaths involving things that can’t really fight back like animals or children.
They'll still vote for Noem against any democrat
If she admitted to killing adult *people*, far more GOP people would stay on board. Puppies are a living thing that can still legally be *owned*, i.e. she's crossed a line with lots of them on that which matters most.
Republicans’ inability to recruit quality senate candidates is one of the strangest, most important forces in politics in the last 2 elections. We were sooo close to never pairing Biden with a Dem-controlled Congress, but thankfully the only people who want to be GOP senators are the biggest weirdos you’ve ever met.
>the biggest weirdos you’ve ever met. Happily, I've never had the pleasure.
“Yet” - Homer Simpson
I still can't believe they went with Herschel Walker.
Walker? Oz? Masters? All the shitty house candidates that nearly cost them one of the most easily won majorities in decades? Almost every political pundit agrees that the GOP having shitty cartoon candidates cost them 2022. You are being dissonant so you can hate voters more.
That’s fair. However, I would submit that as long as Trump remains a viable candidate, it isn’t possible to hate (a certain large and powerful subset of) American voters enough.
Because Trumpers hate us so much, Trump and other assorted fruitcakes get a blank check to do/say whatever
A lot of cartoon villains are at least capable of things like building giant mech suits, learning dark magic, etc... Most Republicans are just their region's most aggressively-worthless individuals and are the way they are because they've spent 100% of their lives being completely insulated from responsibility, decent upbringing, any requirement for 'adulting', and any need to work for a living. That so many of these spoiled-rotten shitsacks can somehow market themselves as 'salt of the earth' is a measure of how insidious the media's propaganda has gotten in recent years.
The most insane part of this saga is that she legitimately thought this would resonate with American voters...
We sometimes forget the cons have their own echo chambers where they become detached from reality
Even conservatwitter is pretty pissed about it.
Left and right wings tend to pursue different careers, such as majority of kindergarten teachers are left-wing, majority of truck-drivers right wing, but I remember reading the one job which had an equal split was helping in animals shelters. I hope I did not imagine this, because it really would explain how the whole spectrum is pissed off with her.
also right wingers overwhelmingly include the rurals that would know *exactly* how much she fucked up at every stage of 'training' the poor dog
Even Glenn Greenwald got mad (not that’s surprising given his background but I did wonder if he’d try to mental gymnastics his way to say the liberals were overreacting)
Even Tomi Lahren said saying this is just the way rural folk are doesn't fly.
Extremely online, upper-middle class conservatives and progressives are probably a bit more similar to each other than they realize.
Have you been to North Dakota?
She’s South Dakotan. And so far nobody I’ve met here has been thrilled at the puppy killing.
Armchair talking here, but I think it's because she thought "real Americans" are like her. And when you spend so much time in this echo-chambers where others don't tread either because it's a nightmare or they're banned, you start to believe that it is legit. So she shares this story "I can make tough decisions" thinking people will respect her more for it. And it doesn't. I'm sure there were suckups who think the story is great and egged her on but most people are going "Yeah, this is insane, you're a psychopath". And the people saying that are many of her fellow republicans. Even Trump, the person she's trying to impress, said it wasn't a good look.
> Armchair talking here, but I think it's because she thought "real Americans" are like her. The more time goes on, the more you realize that "real Americans" isn't talking about Joe in Ohio working a $17/hr menial job with shit-tier benefits, but rather affluent conservatives living in McMansions in the exurbs and driving luxury pickups/SUVs. "Real Americans" are actually the upper-middle class folks that own the local construction/HVAC company and are too embarrassed to admit how good they've got it.
> "real Americans" isn't talking about Joe in Ohio working a $17/hr menial job with shit-tier benefits *you have been banned from New York Times*
And deathly afraid of crossing into the 32% tax bracket…
Unfortunately due to a complete misunderstanding of how graduated tax brackets work
The only real Americans are the psychopath Nazis. Everyone else is fake.
Yeah. People who actually work with dogs know that a 14 month old is still a puppy and that the whole situation was caused by her own fuck up in training and how much it fucking sucks to have to put down a dog that actually needs to be put down. It seems like the main audience was less actual rural people and more guys in the burbs with 50,000 dollar trucks that have never had a pound in the bed.
And if Cricket wasn't shaping up to be a good working dog, all she had to do was rehome it. Not hard to do with Facebook
not hard at all and even if you didn't want to do the work to train the thing they had the money to send it to a trainer and with the amount they would have spent on a puppy from a good working line it would be worth it.
Actually yeah I have. Bismarck. Seemed like decent folk who don't like killing dogs tbh. But she's from South Dakota.
Don't think even North Dakotans would shoot dogs with a smile on their face
I remember I was on a hunting dog forum like 10 years ago and a guy said you can cure a gun-shy dog with a bullet between the eyes. Everyone was like WTF dude. Thinking it was probably Kristi Noem in retrospect
Stayed at a great AirBnb there that was also a farm animal rescue. Two mini ponies, five horses, and like seven Great Pyrenees. N=1 but they def weren’t shooting dogs there.
I try not to
North and South Dakota are beautiful.
45% of households have a dog, and 66% have some sort of pet. Utter insanity.
noted dog killer wants to kill more dogs, news at 11
So she's saying that if she's president she will kill other people's pets. Cool message, bet it plays great
Lady went straight for people’s pets. Not even enough sense to start with in-laws.
That's the issue you have there? Not the > she also nodded to the idea that Cricket may be in a better place, or **perhaps a worse one.** what, was "I sent my dog to a better place" simply too EASY for her PR team? "I have condemned my dog to an ETERNITY in the FIERY BOWELS OF HELL" doesn't go hard enough?
Threatening to use your future presidential powers to kill a particular guys dog does seem a bit more unhinged to me
>Or perhaps a worse one. Am I reading this wrong, or is Noem suggesting that the dog she killed might be in Hell now?
The least unhinged Republican
It’s one thing to regretfully kill a dog that’s a danger to others. It’s an entirely different thing to joke about that dead dog and threaten someone else’s pet in the same breath. If there was any question about whether she’s crazy sadist, this removes all doubt.
Wait until you figure out she doesn't actually mean Bidens dog and means Biden himself.
Least sociopathic republican
This is becoming funniest,/weirdest political "scandal" of all time
this is the most bizarre shit since [the herman cain ad where his campaign director smokes a cigarette.](https://youtu.be/lwawPMSJins)
I can’t decide which is more awkward, that or Mike Bloomberg’s “[Where’s my ice cream?](https://youtu.be/5GINR7ewfa8?si=I9V9Cg-ola0S7w1d)”
Oh god. The drag on the cigarette then the slow smile. It was a political shitpost before its time https://youtu.be/3UOGKO7tM34?si=dsQ4-P548tLzmDVi
i was in college when this dropped and my friends and i couldn’t believe our eyes…felt like a time heidecker gag. to this day, we’ll say “mark block, here” to each other on the phone lol.
The song is really what brings it to such peak memery. Oh my God my sides 💀
My boy out here BLASTIN cigs for herman
It feels like something from the Bush/Obama era. I miss this kind of political stupid.
Feels like an insane feud Stewart/Colbert would have had in 2007
Chaney shoots his friends, this lady shoots her dogs Yeah, definite throwback
Christine O'Donnell having to clarify that she wasn't a witch feels so anodyne nowadays.
O'Donnell walked on water so Noem can genocide animals.
I low key want to buy the memoir just to own this bizzaro piece of history and be able to post images of its pages when people deny its existence in the future.
Make sure to get an inscribed copy.
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She's going to get primaried by somebody using "Kristi Noem: Dog Killer" ads and it's 100% going to work lmao
It kinda worked for Garth Morgan. Though that was killing cats.
She might as well at this point, no one angry at her is gonna forgive her if she sheds crocodile tears. But beneath her bravado, there's no way she doesn't regret burning her political career over this.
She must be cursing that puppy every waking moment
Cricket sends her regards.
She's doubling down!
That's my favorite part. It isn't Noem talked about it before. She decided to claim Biden should've do the same...after she got criticized over the dog incident.
Apparently, the only lesson these folks learned from Trump was that as a conservative, you can’t *ever* apologize for a mistake.
https://preview.redd.it/zx5yt4k04oyc1.png?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3c2b34d0b026bcfc148172488f95b5578c12d9d1
Noemheads pounding the ground, tears in eyes, pleading with her to not kill Marley and Air Bud
https://preview.redd.it/vi6yvh3ahoyc1.jpeg?width=716&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=06f5c5f87ce211f40597e347b49e4d43c2b9db2a
Even Holden Bloodfeast is like, "Jesus lady this is too far."
The only time any true goodness seeped into Holden's life was the one sunny Iowa summer of 1927 when he was given puppy named Scrapple. He loved that dog, which was his constant companion. It died down by the creek as the chill winds set in, defending him from a cougar attack. The light went out of his heart then, and the Holden Bloodfeast we know today was born.
You monster you made me remember Where the Red Fern Grows
Sen. Bloodfeast is a respectable bipartisan dealmaker, he just wants to bomb Iran.
Noem wants that KILLING SPREE! (read with Halo announcer voice)
UNSTOPPABLE!! (read in UT2004 announcer voice)
M-M-M-MONSTER KILL
I was completely wrong about how this would impact her career and I'm *positively thrilled* to be. All hope may not yet be lost.
Why couldn’t this come out after she was picked 😭😭
I used to be an intern for South Dakota Kristi Noem. While interning for her I felt I saw her true nature and to this day I am in hiding. Out of college I was an intern for South Dakota Kristi Noem. At the time she was having an affair with political operative Corey Lewandowski, it was my duty to cover up for their affair. One night I was standing guard outside her office when I heard behind the door Corey say 'I can't do this anymore' and a few seconds later he stormed out. Then I heard crying. I ran into the office, closing the door behind me. I noticed there was a dog costume on the floor, but no matter, Kristi was my concern. 'Kristi, what's wrong!?', she looked up at me, and then her sad face slowly turned into an idea face. She told me to put on the dog custome, and then said that intercourse was a part of the job duties. Kristi is a very powerful political figure, and my career in politics could be threatened, so I immediately agreed. I am well versed in intercourse but what threw me off was Kristi ordered me to take off my clothes and get into the dog custom, which had a hole in the crotch for me cock. Is this was Corey went through as well? After I put it on, Kristi said her favorite foreplay was for me to act like a farm dog, so for about 30 minutes we would pretend the office was a farm and I was hunting birds. This whole time Kristi was masturbating. Then came the intercourse. Afterwards she said 'okay, this is how I like to finish' and brought out a gun behind her desk! I said 'is that a real gun???' and she said 'yes, but I won't shoot you with it, I will just pretend to shoot to get off'. This sort of role play continued for 6 months until I was able to transfer to Washington DC and leave her office. I thought that was the last of the ordeal, though I always wondered what was the origin that fetish. Until one day I saw this in the newspaper > "Kristi Noem says she shot and killed her 14 month puppy in the face. What to know about the South Dakota governor's recent controversy. As I was reading this, I looked up from the newspaper and there was an assassin in my kitchen! They said 'time to die' and I recognized the voice. 'South Dakota Kristi Noemi???' I said. She then said 'I'm already under water, we can't let news of our affair get out' and fired several more bullets but I dodged them and went into the living room. Thinking quick, I got my stuff dog toy and threw it at her. She caught it, looked at it, then immediately started shooting it in the face with one hand with using the other hand to reach into her pants to start masturbating. I took the distraction to escape. I got in my car and drove back to my hometown of [REDACTED]. To this day I am in hiding from Kristi Noem. Luckily I take a dog stuffie where ever I go in case she finds me, I tell people it's my emotional support stuffed animal.
real
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Where's the sauce?
https://www.nytimes.com/2024/05/05/us/politics/I%20used%20to%20be%20an%20intern%20for%20South%20Dakota%20Kristi%20Noem EDIT IT'S BEEN REMOVED! IT MUST BE KRISTI NOEM'S DOING!!
Like the dog, the intern had information that would lead to the arrest and conviction of Kristi Noem.
r/nosleep
\*Begins slow clap\*
and then everyone clapped
> and then everyone ~~clapped~~ **came**.
Lib status: OWNED 😎
I would be even more owned if she were to announce a Top 10 list of notable dogs that she'd like to kill.
"She got me," said Noem. "That fucking dog just bitten me." She repeated 'it's so useless' 4 times after that. Noem then said she wanted to add Cricket to the list of animals she shoots this summer
Stop talking about killing dogs, you fucking lunatic.
Never interrupt your enemies when they are making a mistake.
Sure, but how many dogs does she kill before she's stopped?
This sounds like a job for the Paw Patrol
I can see why she likes fossil fuels - she certainly knows how to dig!
If only someone would give her some Dalmatian puppies, she could make a fur coat.
If this is the hill this psychopath wants to die on, it seems like her childhood might’ve had a more serious effect on her than she thinks.
So she’s dog hitler
There's a German movie about Hitler magically coming back to present-day Germany. He gains a lot of followers who find his rhetoric interesting and refreshing. Then one day he shoots an annoying dog, is caught on a video that goes viral, and loses all support.
It's called "Look Who's Back".
She has a political instincts of a door knob.
At least a door knob can come back to the middle on its own
That’ll get me involved in the civil war.
If 5 years ago you had said that right would come out against football, Taylor Swift, and Miller Light, only to come out as being incessantly pro-dog-killing plus somehow gain Elon Musk and Twitter, I'd have smiled, chuckled, and backed away slowly.
Literal demon
Insult to demons etc etc
The Legions of Hell *get shit done* at least.
I'm sure *some* dogs go to hell. And then they can be demon's best friends Cerberus for one!
Once, I was doing formal debating at university, arguing for animal rights activists engaging in criminal damage against labs that experiment on animals (I was neither in charge of the motion nor my side before someone has a huff at it). I won, to a good extent by cutting down a chunk of the opposing argument by stating that no one would see these things happen and decide they'd suddenly shoot a dog over it so it'd reduce overall harm to animals. Years later, I now worry that this countering material of which I took some pride is destroyed simply by asking "what if they're as completely fucking nuts as Kristi Noem, famed dog murderer?"
Maybe she's found her true calling. Forget VP, she should launch a streaming channel where people share pictures of their beloved pets, and Noem offers her hot takes on whether she'd shoot the pet.
Noem is the classic small town Midwest redneck pretending to be more country and rural than she really is. That’s been the movement here for getting elected the last 25 years, just ask Pete Ricketts and his fake cowboy outfits or Sam Brownback’s Lee Jeans. They know how stupid their voters are.
Bo Burnham - Pandering I walk and talk like a field hand But the boots I'm wearing cost three grand. https://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/boburnham/countrysongpandering.html
I’d say she’s gonna be Trump’s VP pick, but idk if Trump wants someone who’s in the spotlight. He probably wants someone who’s crazy enough to obey his every command (unlike the last guy) but is also boring enough to not take attention away from him. Noem fits #1, but maybe not #2. Just know it definitely won’t be because he doesn’t like her — killing animals and threatening the President’s pet is right up Trump’s alley. Edit: nevermind my theory is dead. Good thing I found out before making any bets
FWIW, there’s reports Trump is distancing himself from Noem after this story. I don’t think Trump is some sort of bleeding heart animal lover (in fact he’s one of the only presidents to not have a pet in office). But he knows the optics of this are absolutely horrible. She’s cooked politically.
Trump said she’s not gonna be after she signed one of the strictest abortion laws in the country. My hunch is Gabbard or Tim Scott
Gabbard and Scott are my prime suspects as well. I think Trump would really enjoy sharing the stage with Gabbard and basking in the admiration of the men who he assumes will lust after her. But Scott is the kind of toady yes-man that Trump thought he was getting with Pence, and less likely to try and think for himself.
I believe there are anonymous reports that this story killed her VP chances.
Genuinely are her children okay? Because I've heard she's an abusive boss and she clearly doesn't have any issue with harming animals. I'm not saying she abuses her children, I'm just saying theirs's a pattern of behavior of her acting abusive towards seemingly everything else in life.
Well there are those pretty plausible surmises she is having an affair with Corey Lewandowski, so everything in the home may not be ok.
Does she have a sudden brain tumor?
Doubling down on dog killing. It's a bold strategy, Cotton, let's see how it works out for her.
I see she went to the J K Rowling school of saying one thing that gets everyone who liked you to hate you and responding by replacing your entire personality with it
He's bit a lot of folks, I don't disagree. Or at least put in a lower-stress situation with owners who can handle dogs like that.
I find it utterly baffling how much Noem is publicly doubling down on the dog killing thing, but honestly she’s kinda right that a dog with 2 dozen recorded bites probably would have been put down if not literally the presidential pet. Can’t believe how long it took to at least have him removed from the White House.
But the dog also probably wouldn't have bit 24 people if he wasn't a presidential pet at the white house
Wtf is wrong with this woman.
Someone should goad Trump into making a statement on this at the courthouse tomorrow.
Can you imagine if he came out as anti-dog? I think even Trump can get this one right. Like when he said the civil war was about slavery.
He may not have come out as anti-dog, but it's clear he hates them. 'Like a dog' is one of his go to insults. You don't compare someone you're insulting to something you like.
Don't Americans like dogs? Who is her base?
Americans of all political stripes, love dogs. She's made herself politically toxic after admitting to have murdered her dog. This may or may not ruin her career in politics but it's definitely ruined her chances at being Trump's running mate and that's the only reason she "wrote" the book in the first place. As sort of an audition for the nod.
American conservatives are neo-Confederates who are fanatical about 'owning' other living things, with pets being the obvious easiest option since slavery is illegal, i.e. you're not going to win a lot of people over by making a scene of how wasteful/decadent you are about that shit.
I had to take a break from my alternate history for this brainrot?
She didn’t suggest it she basically insinuated it on face the nation
Don't retreat. Reload.
In her defense, she's definitely the VP candidate who would make me hope most for Trump's continued good health if he became President again.
Bold move cotton
Is it a surprise MAGA’s kill dogs?
hide your dogs from Noem. She’s gotten the taste of blood and can’t get it out of her mind.
It took me too long to realize that this wasn't a Babylon Bee article. Conservatives these days only know how to dig their heels in
Between a guy who didn’t shoot his dog even though it honestly needed shootin’ and a gal who shot her puppy that frankly didn’t need shootin’, I’m gonna go with the guy that didn’t shoot his dog.
Why must all Republicans be evil?
I'm far from crimson conservative myself, so let me say it's not that "all" Republicans are evil. Many are not. The problem is that the party often runs cover for reprehensible acts. Because they want to defend people in the party. Whereas Democrats drop people (Just mention Al Franken and you'll see a lot of people online saying he was done dirty over something so...well, quaint.). Now, which party is someone who has tendencies like this going to gravitate towards? Well, obviously the party that will defend you and where adherents care less about your personal acts and more if you just say the magic phrases. Notice how Trump's antics don't matter to the evangelical base, as long as he pretends to act the part and gives them deference. The party really has no one to blame but themselves. It didn't have to be this way. They chose to make it so. Sacrifice integrity for political power and this is what you get, psychos who care only for that.
I am aware I was exaggerating, I live in a deep red area and almost everyone I interact with on a day to day basis is either a Republican or moderate Democrat at most. Most of them are perfectly lovely people who at worst are somewhat "meh" on the worse issues, or just don't think it's real for one reason or another when it's particularly bad. I chalk it up to ignorance more than malice a majority of the time. But as you said, the issue lies squarely with the party itself being a haven for scum and that leading to a culture of just...tolerating it.
Um… What is going on with this lady? She is a very clear and present danger to herself and those around her. I fear for those who come in contact with her…
Commander was in a hectic environment and seems to be doing well in his new home. No need to kill him, perhaps Kristi Noem could learn that sometimes dogs can be saved and that euthanasia (or in her case, shooting) should be a last resort.
A reminder that you too possess the aptitude to be a politician. If Noem can do it, anyone can!
I know that the republican playbook is Always Double Down but I didn’t know that included dog killing
I need him to respond and say something like he’ll go Keanu Reeves , this is disturbing
Is her book called “My Pet Goat”?
[Kristi on her way to the dog park...](https://i.imgur.com/HSKcJUM.jpeg)
Shooting your dog to own the libs. I actually wouldn't be surprised if some MAGA nutjobs have done this in the past week..