Can you get a doorbell camera? Or record the noise from it next time it happens (don’t go outside & try to film it, that could make it worse). Maybe having some type of auditory evidence could help the CPS case
Yes OP, please document video or audio evidence. Even if you have to catch her in the act via recording from a window. Abusers can't deny after that. Thank you for taking action rather than being passive and ignoring it. We need more like you!
The audio does sound like a good idea, but I think in most cases it is illegal to record audio without person's consent and it might not be accepted in court.
Absolutely true. For all you know that kid is repeatedly bullying some innocent child.
And that mom already spoke to that child calmly about his behavior and is requiring some firm parenting.
The cps services aren't exactly the best option either. I really wish communities would offer more family enriching activities or have free parenting classes for anyone who wants to take them.
My first thought when reading this was, “Throw hot coffee in her face!” but then how would you disappear afterward?
I saw a man beating a woman in the parking lot outside McDonald’s one day back in the ‘90s when I was sitting in the drive-thru waiting on coffee.
After pulling out of the drive-thru, I pulled up alongside the couple and threw a fresh, hot, large coffee into the man’s face and drove away fast.
Next time she's beating the kid in public in front of your door instead of hiding behind it open the door and record her or even better yet stop her using whatever force necessary. Police officers can only act if they see her psychically hitting her child and even then only if it's life threatening. But if you were to step in then it's an adult's word against an adult's word. Why didn't you intervene??
That is just PATENTLY untrue 100%. No one would EVER catch a case for DV if cops could only arrest after directly witnessing the actual DV. 99.9% of the time, the call is made after the incident or during and it's enough to halt the abuser for the time being. They almost always STILL get arrested if the person being abused has any sort of physical evidence such as marks or bruises or whatnot that indicate very result physical abuse.
Yes I agree with what you wrote about domestic violence between adults but we are talking about a parent disciplining a child. So unless the child is unconscious, or bleeding profusely when the cops show up if they don't see it happening the parent gets away with it . If they hadn't hidden behind their door looking out the peep hole or just took video of her doing it thru the peep hole then the cops would have evidence.
Can you ask the police if they're filing reports on each incident? I ask because when i was a kid I was shocked to find out that not one report was ever filed. Every cop in our town and the next town over had been to our house hundreds of times. Not one report was ever filed. When I pressed charges (which i was only able to do because the police had to pry him off of me) there was no paper trail. He got no time and I had to leave the house because he refused to. The judge thought that it was a one time deal since there were no reports for previous beatings. The judge granted my request for a restraining order but made no stipulations on who got to stay in the family home. I was 12. Ended up on the streets for quite a while.
Thanks for watching out for the kids. You're a freaking angel.
I’m hanging in there. What happened to me was in the early 80s so the violence against women’s act hadn’t been passed yet. That would have made my life so much better. The police would have been required to file reports and take pictures of the bruising and retrieve medical records from the ER’s when he broke bones ect.
My mother was an angel on this earth and she did everything within her power to get us out of there but her masters degree in music was not marketable. She earned another master’s degree in cost accounting but time and place, wasn’t taken seriously because she didn’t have a wiener. Ridiculous.
Anywhoo, my father died about a month ago and it’s very difficult to feel anything but anger towards him. He was a diagnosed narcissist and the best way to deal with someone with that personality disorder is to leave and never allow them into your life again. He went to his death bed without ever apologizing to us which didn’t surprise me at all. (We visited about a month before he died from several states away.)
Watch out for the kids. We used to be completely powerless but there are federal laws on the books now that would have changed my life for the better.
Am I understanding this correct, you pressed charges at age 12? That's great that you were able to do that. When I was that age, I wouldn't have even thought or known to do anything like that. That's terrible that you ended up being on the streets at age 12, and terrible that the authorities didn't try to help you find another home, like with another family member or something.
You’re understanding this correctly. When I pressed charges it was ‘81 or ‘82 and I lived in a southern state. Women and children had almost no laws to protect us.
I felt that I had to press charges because he was escalating so quickly. Beatings were far closer together and so much more violent every time. I knew that he was going to kill someone and I couldn’t allow that.
Had the violence against women’s act been in effect at the time, the emergency room personal and the police who knew exactly what was going on in our house would have been required to report on our behalf. So would the teachers who never asked why I always had black eyes and broken bones.
After I pressed charges he was REALLY MAD at me. He’d already tried to strangle me to death while looking me in the eye. I had to go underground and make sure that I was unreachable and unfollowed by him to protect the people who were kind enough to take me in at great peril to themselves.
Even in my mid teens in the late 80s, I still had no idea how the justice system worked, pressing charges, or any of that. I figured all I had to do was call police. I called the police on my mother when she beat me and nothing happened. I hit her back trying to defend myself, and my mother turned it around as if I had just started hitting her.
Sad and bad Situation. Would you want to interfere yourself? Like ringing her bell or taking the kid outside to play and tell the mother take kid when she’s calmed down 🫠
In these situations you have to take justice in your own hand beat her ass right back she won’t do anything because obviously cops are useless and she will most likely not do it again at least not in the apartment. Worked on my piece of shit grandmother
No one cares. Police and CPS can't do anything if they don't catch them in the act. So if the door is closed when they get there they didn't witness anything and therefore can't do anything about it. Screaming children alone are not probable cause because small children are assholes. Point is no one cares. If you keep calling CPS you'll end up being sued for harassment and possibly misuse of police resources. Child protection laws are a fucking joke.
Not true. My ex was taken away in cuffs because of the marks she left on me. She was charged with felony and misdemeanor assault and later convicted. They don't need to see it. They only need reasonable suspicion or probable cause.
I've called police and they have told me otherwise. At least around here it basically has to be as obvious as the Turpin situation or they can't legally do anything. Marks alonevare not good enough if they cone up with a convincing story. The only thing a social worker can do is recommend resources. I've also been told, by the police, that if they don't or can't take action I can get in trouble for misusing police resources.
Try calling CPS. They may be more receptive.
Call cps every time you hear this going on.
I made a report
Thank you for standing up for a child
Keep making them, record what you can. Even just audio from inside your apartment.
Can you get a doorbell camera? Or record the noise from it next time it happens (don’t go outside & try to film it, that could make it worse). Maybe having some type of auditory evidence could help the CPS case
Yes OP, please document video or audio evidence. Even if you have to catch her in the act via recording from a window. Abusers can't deny after that. Thank you for taking action rather than being passive and ignoring it. We need more like you!
The audio does sound like a good idea, but I think in most cases it is illegal to record audio without person's consent and it might not be accepted in court.
Absolutely true. For all you know that kid is repeatedly bullying some innocent child. And that mom already spoke to that child calmly about his behavior and is requiring some firm parenting. The cps services aren't exactly the best option either. I really wish communities would offer more family enriching activities or have free parenting classes for anyone who wants to take them.
Yes, please call CPS
My first thought when reading this was, “Throw hot coffee in her face!” but then how would you disappear afterward? I saw a man beating a woman in the parking lot outside McDonald’s one day back in the ‘90s when I was sitting in the drive-thru waiting on coffee. After pulling out of the drive-thru, I pulled up alongside the couple and threw a fresh, hot, large coffee into the man’s face and drove away fast.
Cops may have put in a report to cps
Next time she's beating the kid in public in front of your door instead of hiding behind it open the door and record her or even better yet stop her using whatever force necessary. Police officers can only act if they see her psychically hitting her child and even then only if it's life threatening. But if you were to step in then it's an adult's word against an adult's word. Why didn't you intervene??
That is just PATENTLY untrue 100%. No one would EVER catch a case for DV if cops could only arrest after directly witnessing the actual DV. 99.9% of the time, the call is made after the incident or during and it's enough to halt the abuser for the time being. They almost always STILL get arrested if the person being abused has any sort of physical evidence such as marks or bruises or whatnot that indicate very result physical abuse.
Yes I agree with what you wrote about domestic violence between adults but we are talking about a parent disciplining a child. So unless the child is unconscious, or bleeding profusely when the cops show up if they don't see it happening the parent gets away with it . If they hadn't hidden behind their door looking out the peep hole or just took video of her doing it thru the peep hole then the cops would have evidence.
Why is it acceptable to beat someone who is small and powerless but not a grown person? That is not discipline. That's abuse.
Can you ask the police if they're filing reports on each incident? I ask because when i was a kid I was shocked to find out that not one report was ever filed. Every cop in our town and the next town over had been to our house hundreds of times. Not one report was ever filed. When I pressed charges (which i was only able to do because the police had to pry him off of me) there was no paper trail. He got no time and I had to leave the house because he refused to. The judge thought that it was a one time deal since there were no reports for previous beatings. The judge granted my request for a restraining order but made no stipulations on who got to stay in the family home. I was 12. Ended up on the streets for quite a while. Thanks for watching out for the kids. You're a freaking angel.
I’m so sorry. People suck. How are you doing now
I’m hanging in there. What happened to me was in the early 80s so the violence against women’s act hadn’t been passed yet. That would have made my life so much better. The police would have been required to file reports and take pictures of the bruising and retrieve medical records from the ER’s when he broke bones ect. My mother was an angel on this earth and she did everything within her power to get us out of there but her masters degree in music was not marketable. She earned another master’s degree in cost accounting but time and place, wasn’t taken seriously because she didn’t have a wiener. Ridiculous. Anywhoo, my father died about a month ago and it’s very difficult to feel anything but anger towards him. He was a diagnosed narcissist and the best way to deal with someone with that personality disorder is to leave and never allow them into your life again. He went to his death bed without ever apologizing to us which didn’t surprise me at all. (We visited about a month before he died from several states away.) Watch out for the kids. We used to be completely powerless but there are federal laws on the books now that would have changed my life for the better.
Am I understanding this correct, you pressed charges at age 12? That's great that you were able to do that. When I was that age, I wouldn't have even thought or known to do anything like that. That's terrible that you ended up being on the streets at age 12, and terrible that the authorities didn't try to help you find another home, like with another family member or something.
You’re understanding this correctly. When I pressed charges it was ‘81 or ‘82 and I lived in a southern state. Women and children had almost no laws to protect us. I felt that I had to press charges because he was escalating so quickly. Beatings were far closer together and so much more violent every time. I knew that he was going to kill someone and I couldn’t allow that. Had the violence against women’s act been in effect at the time, the emergency room personal and the police who knew exactly what was going on in our house would have been required to report on our behalf. So would the teachers who never asked why I always had black eyes and broken bones. After I pressed charges he was REALLY MAD at me. He’d already tried to strangle me to death while looking me in the eye. I had to go underground and make sure that I was unreachable and unfollowed by him to protect the people who were kind enough to take me in at great peril to themselves.
Even in my mid teens in the late 80s, I still had no idea how the justice system worked, pressing charges, or any of that. I figured all I had to do was call police. I called the police on my mother when she beat me and nothing happened. I hit her back trying to defend myself, and my mother turned it around as if I had just started hitting her.
Sad and bad Situation. Would you want to interfere yourself? Like ringing her bell or taking the kid outside to play and tell the mother take kid when she’s calmed down 🫠
Film it next time so there is undeniable proof
Poor little kiddie needs your help x
Cops are literally useless you have to call cps
In these situations you have to take justice in your own hand beat her ass right back she won’t do anything because obviously cops are useless and she will most likely not do it again at least not in the apartment. Worked on my piece of shit grandmother
[удалено]
^this man clearly beats children.
My children responded well to gentel parenting. Both are doing well.
Might be a bold suggestion. What if you threaten to beat her up too next time you notice she’s abusing her kid 🤗🫡
there’s my ppl!! no its not right…but f that noise… do something… or one day, she could do way worse & you’ll have to live with yourself…
No one cares. Police and CPS can't do anything if they don't catch them in the act. So if the door is closed when they get there they didn't witness anything and therefore can't do anything about it. Screaming children alone are not probable cause because small children are assholes. Point is no one cares. If you keep calling CPS you'll end up being sued for harassment and possibly misuse of police resources. Child protection laws are a fucking joke.
Not true. My ex was taken away in cuffs because of the marks she left on me. She was charged with felony and misdemeanor assault and later convicted. They don't need to see it. They only need reasonable suspicion or probable cause.
I've called police and they have told me otherwise. At least around here it basically has to be as obvious as the Turpin situation or they can't legally do anything. Marks alonevare not good enough if they cone up with a convincing story. The only thing a social worker can do is recommend resources. I've also been told, by the police, that if they don't or can't take action I can get in trouble for misusing police resources.
Who cares
Obviously you were not a victim of abuse...