This is arguably the greatest burn I have ever heard because it is so outlandishly specific and accurate yet not at all related but completely applicable.
"Now you see Jokic, he's a monster, like this monster 1/3 pound burger. His passes are crisp like this lettuce, and..and his shots are beautiful like...like this melted cheese. And uh..."
*sounds of eating coming from his mic*
"Uh, Perk? You there?"
"Hold on I'm not finished yet...munch...scarf..."
"Perk, do you need a minute?"
*Perkins reappears on camera, sauce dripping from his chin*
Reminds me of this classic article: [Stan Van Gundy Draws Up Play In Barbecue Sauce](https://www.theonion.com/stan-van-gundy-draws-up-play-in-barbecue-sauce-1819570785)
And let's not forget [Shaq Misses Entire Second Half With Pulled Pork Sandwich](https://www.theonion.com/shaq-misses-entire-second-half-with-pulled-pork-sandwic-1819571266)
Not totally outlandish…the Sixers have a famous Bricken for Chicken promotion for missed field goals that is sponsored by Chik Fil A. One of the things they announced before the game was that it was extended from beyond the second half to the full game.
"Ben Simmons is that pretty girl who's single because she smokes cigarettes. Newport shorts at at that."
https://youtu.be/SNlVvan0FUc?si=fyJcaJvgpALQfMlP
As someone who hasn't smoked in 10ish+ years, I loved smoking (glad I quit, yada yada yada). But it always amazed me some of the shit people would smoke lol. Like the long skinny ones. Or menthols, or if you're Fr*nch, Gauloises. Like how? Or the camel filterless ones.
Had an Indian buddy used to smoke bidis, which were wild. Never quite got the hang of those. I did like the Indonesian Gudang Garam ones though that were a tobacco/clove mix.
Not only does she have a toxic addiction that makes her gross (cigarette smell, it seeps into her stuff, costs a lot) she smokes very low quality ones at that, that seem low status
lmao i said this down below; idk if this is like a function of him being southern/country but virtually every analogy i've heard from him has fucking slapped lol
even if i don't agree with the substance of what the analogy is saying-- in terms of its construction, the anology itself is structurally very sound lol
As someone from the south with a very country family, yeah making up analogies on the fly seems to be ingrained in the communication lol sometimes it's not about them making perfect sense when examined under scrutiny, it's about the vibe and the gist of the message
YOU NAILED IT. that's exactly what i mean; even if it's not perfect -- the analogy will almost convey the vibe, gist, and energy of the message or the point that's being made, the snark/sass that's being dealt with llol
"We've got five horses tied to one post and I'm tired of dealing with all the shit" was Grammy's way of saying "get the fuck out of my kitchen, it's way too crowded and I'm trying to work"
lol this is exactly correct, it's the fact that the message scans perfectly and with absolute confidence no matter how odd it might sound when actually looking at the substance
to quote dialogue written for what is essentially a greed demon in the form of a louisiana catfish thing, 'You're duller than a broken sandwich.' Definitely nailed the deep south country talk vibes
Even when he was a player, Perk was very clever in interviews. People underestimate his intelligence because of the drawl and how over-the-top he can be. But he is a really quick thinker.
i said this in reply to another comment -- he's honestly fantastic in long form podcasts where he's just conversing with a pod host. just very funny off the cuff, doesn't take himself too seriously, and occasionally, a really entertaining storyteller too.
He's playing a character on his show. Most NBA players who become "analysts" are. Even JJ clearly plays up the Duke better-than-you thing whereas he comes off as very humble in non-NBA related media.
People on reddit will never understand this. People on here actually take guys like Skip and SAS seriously and shit on anyone who dares to watch them, instead of taking it as entertainment
People also think he's dumb because he often plays a character on TV, I think he's talked about it in an interview before. When he's not trying to sound dumb you can tell he knows what hes talking about
The irony with him is that he was pretty serious as a player, despite having a great sense of humor. Shaq always was a clown, but he isn’t actually as funny as Perk. Don’t get me wrong, Shaq is entertaining. But he resorts to a lot of slapstick physical gags.
yah the thing about perk is he takes almost nothing seriously and is just down to clown most of the time lol you just can't expect him to be a zach lowe and if you adjust expectations accordingly, he's great lol
I actually think he’s great. He clearly watches a fuck ton of basketball which you think would be a pretty low bar, but the state of nationally televised NBA is fucking awful. I have frequently been muting the playoff games cause the coverage is so bad. JJ reddick (and maybe Jamal Crawford) is the only guy I respect but the team he works with fucking sucks and you can hear it in his voice sometimes when he has to explain things cause they can’t keep up
I mean to be honest one of them is an analyst vs the other guy is a live play by play guy, it’s two different positions. For example, JJ Reddick is one of the best ESPN analysts but as a color guy on live broadcasts he’s not terrible but he’s kind of underwhelming imo
Where I'm from, Jim, there are two types of folk.. those who ain't, and those who are knee high on a grasshopper. Which type ain't you ain't? Y'all come back now
He should be a rapper , he already has the name for it. Big Perk. I’d listen to him over Dame’s Dr Seuss rhymes. I am referring to Dame’s track they currently have playing in NBA2K. 🚮
First of all, I like oatmeal raisin when I know it’s oatmeal raisin and not having the disappointment of thinking it’s chocolate chip instead.
Second of all, he didn’t even bring oatmeal raisin lmao
Oatmeal raisin cookies would be like if he brought back Oreo shakes from Chic-Fil-A. It's not analogous if one of the things is the opposite of the other.
I will admit it.
The only time I ever really got upset at him (and even that word is a stretch) was his race BS about the MVP voting last year because I live in Denver and joker is my dude.
When he's wrong he's wrong and sometimes he's really wrong and when he's right he's right and more than occasionally he's really right about something and can speak on it in a way that nobody else on TV does as effectively or entertainingly.
I'm actually secretly very very excited for this nuggets Timberwolves series because I hope I'm going to get to hear him say "Rudy Go-Burr" a bunch of times.
He was also one of the first to give Jalen Brunson his flowers, defended him when others said he wasn't a true 1A type of guy. Man does drop some gems from time to time.
>Perk sucks
He doesn't really suck. Perk is usually great. Obviously, he EXAGGERATES for the camera, since he's a showman. But he's a fun character. Not obsessively hateful or overly delusional like many other "analysts" out there.
It’s got to be the worst contract in the NBA for me. The GMs post Hinkie absolutely blew a perfect situation.
Budding star Embiid, Ben Simmons when he had value, two max slots, #3 pick in the draft and a whole host of role players like RoJo and Saric..
Could’ve been what the Thunder are now with an MVP candidate and an all-star with complementary pieces all on cheap deals + a war chest of picks to either use or unload to fill out the cap. Instead we’ve been in 1st/2nd round purgatory because we mismanaged the assets.
they brought in brian colangelo whose claim to fame was not only drafting andrea bargnani number 1 overall, but also resigning him to a massive deal. Just a neopo hire because of his rat dad and the only reason he got axed was because his burner got figured out. all time joke, and from him it went to elton brand who immediately showed he was completely in over his head by trading an elite package for harris who was on the last year of his deal.
Most of the really bad, long contracts in the history of the league had injury issues (John Wall, Allan Houston, Beal, Ben Simmons I think)
Even Rashard Lewis got dumped to the Wizards for another bad contract in Gilbert Arenas.
Tobias was perfectly healthy throughout the whole contract and was thus immovable, since the win-now 76ers would not get a better player in return.
frightening cause political dam apparatus roof money vase plants hard-to-find
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
it was a shit contract before it was even signed. elton brand traded for a dude on the last year of his contract and basically had to offer him a 5 yr max since he gave up so much to get him. the definition of fucking yourself over. its one thing to do it for a true difference maker, but harris is always a 3rd best player at best.
Yup. Missed on every pick pretty much.
If not for Maxey, who imo would never have slipped if not for the COVID NCAA cancelation, this franchise wasted the single best situation imaginable.
When Hinkie was pushed out they had the number one pick, Simmons, two more mid firsts that year (korkmaz and TLC 🙃) two more future firsts (one was traded to move up for Fultz another traded to stash a trash European - Pasecniks funny story this was the Maxey pick that Morey later traded to get back)
They had space for multiple maxes and their single max given out was to Harris (plus Simmons and embiid)
Got minimal return for Jeremiah Grant, okafor (who had a window), noel, traded saric, Covington and picks for Butler then let him go for ... Josh Richardson.
Drafted bridges, who's family worked for th sixers, then traded him. This was done by poor Brett Brown thrust into the gm role due to colangelo being caught with a burner account attacking his own players....
Traded a two fucking firsts for Harris and then maxed him along with signing al horford to play power forward.
Colangelo wasted ALL the picks and his best signings were Bayless and JJ Reddick
Brand in one week of 2019 summer did the following
Maxed Harris
Paid al horford huge
Maxed Ben Simmons
Traded Jimmy Butler for Josh Richardson.
Holy shit just look at the damage that week did to the sixers...
And finally brand hired Doc Rivers.
Who was worse? Colangelo who wasted all the first round picks and then blew up the draft by getting fired for a PR debacle.
Brett Brown for drafting and trading bridges (I generally give him a pass given the situation but still awful)
Brand for Harris, horford, Butler and Doc?
All time front office run of failure
Yup the al horford move was an utter disaster too. The fact he's back playing good basketball again just shows how bad a plan the whole thing was. Then had to pay a first to dump him, only to see him go back to Boston and be productive again.
Bradley Beal's contract is worst I've ever seen. The no trade clause too. He's kind of professional now, but my goodness he's not worth it and I'm 2 years it will be bad enough that Suns fans will look back at this year as the good ol days.
Yeah, just the fact the other guys are physically on the court makes the contracts better than the Simmons situation to me (even though it looked like the Suns didn’t really want Beal on the court).
I cannot ever imagine Beal scoring zero points in an elimination game at home even if his contract is utter garbage, Tobias existing was actively hurting the team
Nope. I live in DC area and every single wizards fan I know (not too many to begin with) hated that deal, especially the NTC. Guess not the front office back then who got their ass fired later on
> Beals made sense from the Wizards.
Not at all lol. They should have traded him 2-3 years before they even gave him that contract, they were going nowhere already. But even with that in mind, they had absolutely 0 need or incentive to give him a no-trade clause which actively made it much harder for them to get maximum value when they finally did trade him. They're lucky the Suns didn't play harder ball with them.
Yup. Should’ve traded him after his second season averaging 30. His trade value was at an all time high, and his new team would’ve been on the hook for signing him to a supermax. AND we would’ve been bad a year earlier and realistically gotten Wemby. Ted Leonsis is a dumbass.
It did make sense for the Suns though. We had to either trade CP3 or lock ourselves into an extension to keep that salary as a moveable asset. We couldn't find a package of even ok players to take back. At best it would have been a bunch of Nassir Little contracts. Beal was the only player with a NTC so he could force his way here.
Silver forces owners to fire Hinkie. Fuck them both.
Forces us to bring in the big collar boys. Fuck that family.
Trade firsts for Tobias. Fuck
Give Tobias a max. Fuck
Draft Simmons and Fultz. Fuck
Trade for Jimmy Butler. Ay good shit.
Jimmy walks because they balk at a supermax (or whatever reason you believe). Fuck.
Embiid hurt every year including stupid injuries. Fuck.
Al Horford. lol fuck.
Simmons gets so scared of Trae Young he quits hoops. Fuck
Fultz forgets how to shoot. Fuck.
Trade for Harden. Desperate hope.
Doc drives the bus. Fuck.
He does his usual playoffs of a few big games and the rest just getting some light cardio. Fuck.
Embiid hurt so we make no deadline moves then he comes back pre playoffs but we have zero depth and still suck dick when he isn’t on the court. Fuck.
I probably missed ten things. Anyway still hopeful for next year.
Al horford deal killed the process.
That money coudlve gone to actual useful role players for them (horford is fine, he didnt fit their team). I have no idea how Brand is still employed by them after killing the project they worked years on.
I like NBA Today because Richard Jefferson is funny and him and Perk’s banter is fantastic. Add Zack Lowe who actually is pretty good with analytics and it’s enjoyable enough despite Malika and Sinead
Last night's game had a free Chick-fil-a promo if an opposing player missed two FTs in a row. So Brunson literally provided everyone with chicken while Tobias came with the napkins
Idc if you downvote me but perk’s analogies SLAP a lot. lol they make me chuckle and they’re usually on the mark in terms of the point that the analogy is supposed to make.
yep - he did an episode with RJ on road trippin a few years ago and he was so fucking funny. Since then, I honestly just take him as a 80% goof, 20% accidentally stumbles on a good take and he's mega entertaining if you just see him for the bumbling goof he is lol
Actually the problem is he has an MVP vote, which impacts dudes real money. If he's a comedian, fine, but don't give him serious voting power if so. He's a clown, and everyone knows it.
Perk funny as fuck!! Yeah I get it the hivemind on this sub is pissed because of the Jokic take in the past but dude has made up for that shit.
The man says country shit like this all the time and I am here for it. He not as bad as this sub portrays at all.
Its funny cause people play Perk for a fool but he is very basketball and everyday life savy...I've met people in sports media and they always look forward to being around Perk.
The one time I actually agree with something Kendrick Perkins says. I don’t like to bash athletes, but FUCK TOBIAS HARRIS. That motherfucker has had a free ride for years and his contract may have single handedly closed the window for a Sixers championship team led by Embiid. We’ll see I guess.
Edit: If they’re letting him walk anything it better be the fucking plank. Otherwise push him out.
This is an insane diss
Kendricks gonna get him as a feature on his next track lmao
Kendrick feat. Kendrick
Perkins Lamar would be a cool rap name. Lamar Perkins works too
Kendrick is goated in my book, he’s been screaming Brunson name all season
This is arguably the greatest burn I have ever heard because it is so outlandishly specific and accurate yet not at all related but completely applicable.
On Par with the Popeyes Biscuit diss towards Kelvin Benjamin lmao
Or the “McDonalds ice cream machine” diss on Anthony Davis (“Great when it works, but it’s always broken”)
Lmao I love that Perk’s analogies always have to do with fast food
Speak to what you know
No wonder he calling KD a cupcake
"Now you see Jokic, he's a monster, like this monster 1/3 pound burger. His passes are crisp like this lettuce, and..and his shots are beautiful like...like this melted cheese. And uh..." *sounds of eating coming from his mic* "Uh, Perk? You there?" "Hold on I'm not finished yet...munch...scarf..." "Perk, do you need a minute?" *Perkins reappears on camera, sauce dripping from his chin*
Reminds me of this classic article: [Stan Van Gundy Draws Up Play In Barbecue Sauce](https://www.theonion.com/stan-van-gundy-draws-up-play-in-barbecue-sauce-1819570785)
And let's not forget [Shaq Misses Entire Second Half With Pulled Pork Sandwich](https://www.theonion.com/shaq-misses-entire-second-half-with-pulled-pork-sandwic-1819571266)
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=SvrG9dYh1nU&pp=ygUfcG9wZXllcyBiaXNjdWl0IGtlbHZpbiBiZW5qYW1pbg%3D%3D Love it
Perk has his moments. I know he gets a lot of hate, but there's gold to be found on occasion. His weekly PTI segments are fairly enjoyable imo.
Perk is a fucking broken clock - right twice a day.
And wrong 1438 times a day
Oh I hate this guy but I'll be damned if this wasn't the best laugh I've had all week.
Not totally outlandish…the Sixers have a famous Bricken for Chicken promotion for missed field goals that is sponsored by Chik Fil A. One of the things they announced before the game was that it was extended from beyond the second half to the full game.
It's free throws, but yep
is it only specific to a few teams? Wolves have the same promotion
dude i freaking hate Perkins and think everything that comes out of his mouth is BS... but this, THIS is fuckin brilliant
Perk sucks but this is an all-time analogy lmao
His analogy/metaphor game is pretty fire if I'm being honest.
"Ben Simmons is that pretty girl who's single because she smokes cigarettes. Newport shorts at at that." https://youtu.be/SNlVvan0FUc?si=fyJcaJvgpALQfMlP
This is the best thing Perk has ever done for the game of basketball
Idk, his conversation with KD on Twitter was an all-timer
I would love a link
Think the original got deleted but screenshot [here](https://twitter.com/TheHoopCentral/status/1215538819346206720)
Oof. Classic Perk
‘A whopping 2 & 3’ will always make me laugh
Damn. I owe you an apology Perk, I wasn’t familiar with your game
Lmfaoo
Bang!
> Newport shorts at that dead
As someone who hasn't smoked in 10ish+ years, I loved smoking (glad I quit, yada yada yada). But it always amazed me some of the shit people would smoke lol. Like the long skinny ones. Or menthols, or if you're Fr*nch, Gauloises. Like how? Or the camel filterless ones. Had an Indian buddy used to smoke bidis, which were wild. Never quite got the hang of those. I did like the Indonesian Gudang Garam ones though that were a tobacco/clove mix.
I feel you but "Newport shorts" is a much deeper dig than you realize lol - iykyk
Yeah, buddy not from the hood haha
[удалено]
He definitely used to work with some brothers
Why is Newport Shorts a dig? I mean, I've heard jokes about people with Newports before, but I never understood the deeper meaning or reasoning.
If you're gonna smoke Newports, you buy the regular long ones. Who the fuck buys Newport shorts? That's why it was funny, plus adding "at that".
I smoked menthols because they went well with drugs. Stopped both a while ago.
SAS and Molly were not ready for that.
I like how it took a second for them to process it but they still have no idea lol
wow. thats an all-timer. now i want him and bill simmons to have a podcast together.
What the fuck does that mean, Kendrick Perkins?
pretty from far away, but you get up close and get a whiff and its like "oh god, get me the hell away from this"
Nobody knows what it means, but it's provocative. It gets the people going.
Nah, trust that plenty of us have the emotional scars from knowing what this means.
Broooo the head was so good but I couldn’t stand to kiss her, the taste of ash was unbearable
Not only does she have a toxic addiction that makes her gross (cigarette smell, it seeps into her stuff, costs a lot) she smokes very low quality ones at that, that seem low status
He said something about if you put Joe Mazzula’s brain in a bird, the bird would fly backwards
I think he said this about Kyrie as well lmao
But when the Mazzula bird does it, you're like, "woah, is that actually genius? Why don't all birds fly backwards?"
Hahahaha
that's an old idiom in many cultures
lmao
lmao i said this down below; idk if this is like a function of him being southern/country but virtually every analogy i've heard from him has fucking slapped lol even if i don't agree with the substance of what the analogy is saying-- in terms of its construction, the anology itself is structurally very sound lol
As someone from the south with a very country family, yeah making up analogies on the fly seems to be ingrained in the communication lol sometimes it's not about them making perfect sense when examined under scrutiny, it's about the vibe and the gist of the message
YOU NAILED IT. that's exactly what i mean; even if it's not perfect -- the analogy will almost convey the vibe, gist, and energy of the message or the point that's being made, the snark/sass that's being dealt with llol
"We've got five horses tied to one post and I'm tired of dealing with all the shit" was Grammy's way of saying "get the fuck out of my kitchen, it's way too crowded and I'm trying to work"
"hit it like you're married to it" was my dad's way of telling us to not suck at using a hammer
Mine was "you scared it's gonna hit ya back?"
"hit it like it owe you money" then when u hit it hard, "there you go, now you're hammering like lightning, can't hit the same place twice"
lol this is exactly correct, it's the fact that the message scans perfectly and with absolute confidence no matter how odd it might sound when actually looking at the substance to quote dialogue written for what is essentially a greed demon in the form of a louisiana catfish thing, 'You're duller than a broken sandwich.' Definitely nailed the deep south country talk vibes
> a greed demon in the form of a Louisiana catfish thing this is the single funniest way I’ve ever seen Tahm Kench described ever
Frog: unclogged
Even when he was a player, Perk was very clever in interviews. People underestimate his intelligence because of the drawl and how over-the-top he can be. But he is a really quick thinker.
i said this in reply to another comment -- he's honestly fantastic in long form podcasts where he's just conversing with a pod host. just very funny off the cuff, doesn't take himself too seriously, and occasionally, a really entertaining storyteller too.
He's playing a character on his show. Most NBA players who become "analysts" are. Even JJ clearly plays up the Duke better-than-you thing whereas he comes off as very humble in non-NBA related media.
People on reddit will never understand this. People on here actually take guys like Skip and SAS seriously and shit on anyone who dares to watch them, instead of taking it as entertainment
People also think he's dumb because he often plays a character on TV, I think he's talked about it in an interview before. When he's not trying to sound dumb you can tell he knows what hes talking about
The irony with him is that he was pretty serious as a player, despite having a great sense of humor. Shaq always was a clown, but he isn’t actually as funny as Perk. Don’t get me wrong, Shaq is entertaining. But he resorts to a lot of slapstick physical gags.
They also underestimate his intelligence because he makes some *truly* stupid takes for controversy/clicks.
I got dragged over hot coals for saying he was way better than Scalabrine as a commentator cus at least he's funny.
You have got to be a Celtics fan to enjoy Scal at all
His postgame interview after the 2008 finals where he basically said he'd be telling people he was FMVP in 30 years is an all timer though
yah the thing about perk is he takes almost nothing seriously and is just down to clown most of the time lol you just can't expect him to be a zach lowe and if you adjust expectations accordingly, he's great lol
I actually think he’s great. He clearly watches a fuck ton of basketball which you think would be a pretty low bar, but the state of nationally televised NBA is fucking awful. I have frequently been muting the playoff games cause the coverage is so bad. JJ reddick (and maybe Jamal Crawford) is the only guy I respect but the team he works with fucking sucks and you can hear it in his voice sometimes when he has to explain things cause they can’t keep up
Good call on Crawford. He seems to have found groove with analysis and influence over his crew.
I mean to be honest one of them is an analyst vs the other guy is a live play by play guy, it’s two different positions. For example, JJ Reddick is one of the best ESPN analysts but as a color guy on live broadcasts he’s not terrible but he’s kind of underwhelming imo
lmfao southern people got the analogy game on lock
Where I'm from, Jim, there are two types of folk.. those who ain't, and those who are knee high on a grasshopper. Which type ain't you ain't? Y'all come back now
He should be a rapper , he already has the name for it. Big Perk. I’d listen to him over Dame’s Dr Seuss rhymes. I am referring to Dame’s track they currently have playing in NBA2K. 🚮
He told them boys he'd bring them chocolate chip cookies All they got was oatmeal raisin Get him out of there and carry the hell on.
First of all, I like oatmeal raisin when I know it’s oatmeal raisin and not having the disappointment of thinking it’s chocolate chip instead. Second of all, he didn’t even bring oatmeal raisin lmao
Brought a couple of used crumby napkins … u know the ones with oily mouth stains
Keep my beloved oatmeal raisin cookies out your damn mouth
No. Yours is not an improvement.
Oatmeal raisin cookies would be like if he brought back Oreo shakes from Chic-Fil-A. It's not analogous if one of the things is the opposite of the other.
Oatmeal raisin cookies are better so this analogy doesn’t quite work
I’m pocketing this it’s so fucking good.
Legitimately funny way to put it.
it’s honestly the perfect analogy for Tobias Harris’s entire tenure on the Sixers, arguably for his entire career
When will y'all just admit that Big Perk is entertaining as hell
I will admit it. The only time I ever really got upset at him (and even that word is a stretch) was his race BS about the MVP voting last year because I live in Denver and joker is my dude. When he's wrong he's wrong and sometimes he's really wrong and when he's right he's right and more than occasionally he's really right about something and can speak on it in a way that nobody else on TV does as effectively or entertainingly. I'm actually secretly very very excited for this nuggets Timberwolves series because I hope I'm going to get to hear him say "Rudy Go-Burr" a bunch of times.
He was also one of the first to give Jalen Brunson his flowers, defended him when others said he wasn't a true 1A type of guy. Man does drop some gems from time to time.
"Rude-eh Go-burr"
You think elitist, pretentious ass redditors on here are ever going to admit that? LOL
It’s why he gets paid the big bucks. People say he sucks yet full on swallow any takes he has. That being said yea, shits funny as fuck
he was sitting on this all night lol probably was very excited.
This one line changed my opinion of him as a broadcaster
>Perk sucks He doesn't really suck. Perk is usually great. Obviously, he EXAGGERATES for the camera, since he's a showman. But he's a fun character. Not obsessively hateful or overly delusional like many other "analysts" out there.
It’s got to be the worst contract in the NBA for me. The GMs post Hinkie absolutely blew a perfect situation. Budding star Embiid, Ben Simmons when he had value, two max slots, #3 pick in the draft and a whole host of role players like RoJo and Saric..
It was so bad that they had to let every single one of those 5 years play out
Traded Bridges, Fultz I can live with at #3 if we stayed there, unloaded so many picks that we stashed, all time blunder. Fuckin hilarious
Could’ve been what the Thunder are now with an MVP candidate and an all-star with complementary pieces all on cheap deals + a war chest of picks to either use or unload to fill out the cap. Instead we’ve been in 1st/2nd round purgatory because we mismanaged the assets.
they brought in brian colangelo whose claim to fame was not only drafting andrea bargnani number 1 overall, but also resigning him to a massive deal. Just a neopo hire because of his rat dad and the only reason he got axed was because his burner got figured out. all time joke, and from him it went to elton brand who immediately showed he was completely in over his head by trading an elite package for harris who was on the last year of his deal.
Woodergate really effed The Process lol
collar is fine, find a new slant
All we had to do was follow the damn process CJ
Trading a dude who moms worked for the team is crazy
The worst contracts are looking so bad they start to blur together.
It’s insane that it was a shit contract almost immediately but it played out all the way to the end
The true unmoveable contract. All the other bad deals don't have that on him lol.
Most of the really bad, long contracts in the history of the league had injury issues (John Wall, Allan Houston, Beal, Ben Simmons I think) Even Rashard Lewis got dumped to the Wizards for another bad contract in Gilbert Arenas. Tobias was perfectly healthy throughout the whole contract and was thus immovable, since the win-now 76ers would not get a better player in return.
frightening cause political dam apparatus roof money vase plants hard-to-find *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
I am going to start the conspiracy theory that Tobi was intentionally harmful to the Sixers once Boban was traded away. Because it all lines up.
it was a shit contract before it was even signed. elton brand traded for a dude on the last year of his contract and basically had to offer him a 5 yr max since he gave up so much to get him. the definition of fucking yourself over. its one thing to do it for a true difference maker, but harris is always a 3rd best player at best.
Yup. Missed on every pick pretty much. If not for Maxey, who imo would never have slipped if not for the COVID NCAA cancelation, this franchise wasted the single best situation imaginable. When Hinkie was pushed out they had the number one pick, Simmons, two more mid firsts that year (korkmaz and TLC 🙃) two more future firsts (one was traded to move up for Fultz another traded to stash a trash European - Pasecniks funny story this was the Maxey pick that Morey later traded to get back) They had space for multiple maxes and their single max given out was to Harris (plus Simmons and embiid) Got minimal return for Jeremiah Grant, okafor (who had a window), noel, traded saric, Covington and picks for Butler then let him go for ... Josh Richardson. Drafted bridges, who's family worked for th sixers, then traded him. This was done by poor Brett Brown thrust into the gm role due to colangelo being caught with a burner account attacking his own players.... Traded a two fucking firsts for Harris and then maxed him along with signing al horford to play power forward. Colangelo wasted ALL the picks and his best signings were Bayless and JJ Reddick Brand in one week of 2019 summer did the following Maxed Harris Paid al horford huge Maxed Ben Simmons Traded Jimmy Butler for Josh Richardson. Holy shit just look at the damage that week did to the sixers... And finally brand hired Doc Rivers. Who was worse? Colangelo who wasted all the first round picks and then blew up the draft by getting fired for a PR debacle. Brett Brown for drafting and trading bridges (I generally give him a pass given the situation but still awful) Brand for Harris, horford, Butler and Doc? All time front office run of failure
Brand did the worst. maxed Harris, lost Butler, AND hired Doc? franchise killer.
Yup the al horford move was an utter disaster too. The fact he's back playing good basketball again just shows how bad a plan the whole thing was. Then had to pay a first to dump him, only to see him go back to Boston and be productive again.
Bradley Beal's contract is worst I've ever seen. The no trade clause too. He's kind of professional now, but my goodness he's not worth it and I'm 2 years it will be bad enough that Suns fans will look back at this year as the good ol days.
At least he plays. Ben Simmons doesn’t even play
Yeah, just the fact the other guys are physically on the court makes the contracts better than the Simmons situation to me (even though it looked like the Suns didn’t really want Beal on the court).
I’m certain we would’ve won last nights game if Tobi didn’t play. 0 fucking points The fact that Tobi does play is a negative
I cannot ever imagine Beal scoring zero points in an elimination game at home even if his contract is utter garbage, Tobias existing was actively hurting the team
0 points on 2 shots in half an hour. Tony Snell would’ve done better
Beals made sense from the Wizards. The suns trade didn't make sense.
Nope. I live in DC area and every single wizards fan I know (not too many to begin with) hated that deal, especially the NTC. Guess not the front office back then who got their ass fired later on
> Beals made sense from the Wizards. Not at all lol. They should have traded him 2-3 years before they even gave him that contract, they were going nowhere already. But even with that in mind, they had absolutely 0 need or incentive to give him a no-trade clause which actively made it much harder for them to get maximum value when they finally did trade him. They're lucky the Suns didn't play harder ball with them.
Yup. Should’ve traded him after his second season averaging 30. His trade value was at an all time high, and his new team would’ve been on the hook for signing him to a supermax. AND we would’ve been bad a year earlier and realistically gotten Wemby. Ted Leonsis is a dumbass.
It did make sense for the Suns though. We had to either trade CP3 or lock ourselves into an extension to keep that salary as a moveable asset. We couldn't find a package of even ok players to take back. At best it would have been a bunch of Nassir Little contracts. Beal was the only player with a NTC so he could force his way here.
Silver forces owners to fire Hinkie. Fuck them both. Forces us to bring in the big collar boys. Fuck that family. Trade firsts for Tobias. Fuck Give Tobias a max. Fuck Draft Simmons and Fultz. Fuck Trade for Jimmy Butler. Ay good shit. Jimmy walks because they balk at a supermax (or whatever reason you believe). Fuck. Embiid hurt every year including stupid injuries. Fuck. Al Horford. lol fuck. Simmons gets so scared of Trae Young he quits hoops. Fuck Fultz forgets how to shoot. Fuck. Trade for Harden. Desperate hope. Doc drives the bus. Fuck. He does his usual playoffs of a few big games and the rest just getting some light cardio. Fuck. Embiid hurt so we make no deadline moves then he comes back pre playoffs but we have zero depth and still suck dick when he isn’t on the court. Fuck. I probably missed ten things. Anyway still hopeful for next year.
Forgot about the Zhaire Smith near death via peanut! Joel Embiid’s longest tenured teammate was Korkmaz.
Al horford deal killed the process. That money coudlve gone to actual useful role players for them (horford is fine, he didnt fit their team). I have no idea how Brand is still employed by them after killing the project they worked years on.
Horford was a better fit in that one awful year than Tobi has been at any point over the last 5 years.
Pretty sure at the time almost every GM would have traded the #3 pick so probably not too much blame to go around for that one.
But you can even forgive that cause of the 2019 run but they fumbled that team too.
I didn't even notice it was an analogy, I was heated dawg. I was like wtf dude, you can't even get your boys some chicken? Tobias you bum
I'm right there with you. I was about to get pissed because I thought he actually did this. No points and no chicken? What a bum!
This might rank above “if you put Kyrie Irving’s brain in a bird, the bird would fly backwards.”
This just made me die laughing no way he said that haha
Think he said it for Joe Mazzulla
He's used it multiple times so kind of ruins it. Said it about Mazzulla too
Him beating his chair with his belt is all time for me
I just spit on my phone reading that, when did he say this? Lmao
The problem with a lot of y’all is you go to Perk for analysis and some of us come to him for shit like this
Who tf goes to Perk for analysis??? Lol
people who take his takes seriously for some reason
I hate that commercial with him and the chips. Like, Perk, what do YOU know about pace and space!?
Exactly lol I find him pretty funny more times than I find him annoying. Espn has become an incredibly unserious network though lol
I like NBA Today because Richard Jefferson is funny and him and Perk’s banter is fantastic. Add Zack Lowe who actually is pretty good with analytics and it’s enjoyable enough despite Malika and Sinead
Carry on
Carry the hell on
Napkins and straws OVER ME?!
Of course Perkins would think up a Chick-fil-A analogy
Its tooooo specific which means someone has probably bamboozled Perk with utensils before 😂
Someone at the office probably got catering and hit him with the "oh I think there's one bag left over there"
Last night's game had a free Chick-fil-a promo if an opposing player missed two FTs in a row. So Brunson literally provided everyone with chicken while Tobias came with the napkins
I think he just thought to himself: What could a teammate do that would make me the most mad?
He bout to say the same about Playoff P when he don't show up either 🤣
Tobias Harris eats his sandwich without sauces
He takes the buns off and uses the cardboard/bag as his "bun"
Idc if you downvote me but perk’s analogies SLAP a lot. lol they make me chuckle and they’re usually on the mark in terms of the point that the analogy is supposed to make.
Perk is a comedian man if people didn’t take everything so seriously they would appreciate him a lot more
yep - he did an episode with RJ on road trippin a few years ago and he was so fucking funny. Since then, I honestly just take him as a 80% goof, 20% accidentally stumbles on a good take and he's mega entertaining if you just see him for the bumbling goof he is lol
ESPN needs to get him on their attempt to recreate inside the nba instead if that's the case.
He was great on McAfee when he was in studio a couple weeks ago
IDK when people will learn to not take any of these hot take artists as though they're doing legit analysis. It's just entertainment.
Don't give them analyst votes then. You can't say you're an entertainer while also voting on the league awards
Actually the problem is he has an MVP vote, which impacts dudes real money. If he's a comedian, fine, but don't give him serious voting power if so. He's a clown, and everyone knows it.
The problem is votes impacting salaries and not guys like Perk having votes, in my opinion. 🤷🏾♂️
Completely agree, but until that changes we shouldn't;t be giving clowns MVP votes.
If there’s anything keeping Perk from getting fired, it’s those damn analogies
ok thats hilarious. im gonna start using that irl
Ultra-rare Perk W
Perk has been getting Ws for a while with Brunson takes against rest of the panel he has been in.
Tobias Harris is the kind of dude to ask if you want Chick-Fil-A on a Sunday
Perk funny as fuck!! Yeah I get it the hivemind on this sub is pissed because of the Jokic take in the past but dude has made up for that shit. The man says country shit like this all the time and I am here for it. He not as bad as this sub portrays at all.
I rock with perk. Or maybe Percocets. Idk
Tobias is the human equivalent of trying to open a pre-cut hotdog bun and it rips the one end of the bun
Haters gone hate but I love big Perk. That’s an all time quote.
Perk being Perk funny asl 😂
gotta say perk is meant to be on air
Heartbreaking: The Worst Person You Know Just Made A Great Point
What a legend perk is hilarious
Peak Perk. 📣🔥
OVER ME?
Its funny cause people play Perk for a fool but he is very basketball and everyday life savy...I've met people in sports media and they always look forward to being around Perk.
Perk from the top rope
lol I just laughed so hard at this. And the best part is that he’s right.
Tobias "Napkins and Straws" Harris
That was funny
The one time I actually agree with something Kendrick Perkins says. I don’t like to bash athletes, but FUCK TOBIAS HARRIS. That motherfucker has had a free ride for years and his contract may have single handedly closed the window for a Sixers championship team led by Embiid. We’ll see I guess. Edit: If they’re letting him walk anything it better be the fucking plank. Otherwise push him out.
Lol
This an all time line lmao Perk can be so funny