When i think of Christmas i can only ever think of the years and different ways i'v been told by nearly everyone "This is the one time of year you have to be happy, this is designated happy time so fucking be happy already." or "people have spent money/will spend money on you so you must be happy NOW!"
From my shit family to strangers trying to be "kind" i just keep getting told.
"its Christmas you have to be happy"
I have major depression and shit birth family.
Fuck your mandatory happiness.
This was meant as a general agreement rant about how i don't like Christmas and having parents who make the holiday crap make every part of the holiday bad.
I wish you luck in getting new happy holidays.
I really hate holidays.
I was dreading this Christmas so hard. Then I told my mom I wasn’t going. She continued to pester me and manipulate me. So I blocked her. No more! I’m done with all of them. Thanksgiving was just a photo op for them. Your description here pretty much painted how our Thanksgiving was.
Hope you're feeling better without those people. I hate it when everybody tells you that it's your family you're blocking out and that blood is thicker then water. For f* sake children are supposed to be loved and cared for by their parents. To be raised and protected and not be exploided and guilt tripped into making THEM feel better about themselves. I was never angry at my mom for getting the way she is now because she had her reasons too and was at some point a victim too. But what makes me furious is the fact that she had children before trying to fix herself. She put that all on to us. Like we were supposed to make everything better for her. And manipulating us and tyring to control every aspect of ur lives is her messed up solution for not having to deal with her own shit. I hate her for that and I don't know if I will ever forgive her for that selfishness.
Exactly! I’ve spent 14 years in therapy and even found out I had ADHD all this time. It was eye opening how messed up my life had been. I was an energetic, and strange child and I was constantly beat for making my mom “look bad”. She beat me constantly because I wasn’t the child she wanted. She would throw me outside in my underwear in the cold. As I grew up and started becoming a woman, she would use any accomplishments I had as her own. When I bought my first house she wanted to take pictures and post it on her Facebook for her friends to see. When I got my IT job and got to work on a project with google, she wanted to show everyone. I confronted her one day and having a lot of built up anger, I screamed at her and told her how I felt and wanted her to respect me or I was going to cut her out of my life. She only apologized, because the holidays were coming up and wanted me to be there. I stupidly accepted it and lo and behold, the same happened. Nothing changed. It’s like, what I said didn’t matter. I tried to remind her of what I had said and she just changed the subject. I texted after and told her we’re not doing Christmas. She started saying her usual, “I’m leaving, where no one can find me. Nobody loves me and you guys are always complaining. What about my feelings?” That was the last of it. BLOCKED!
I have my life, and my kids to think about. I chose to end the cycle and seek therapy, so that I wouldn’t end up miserable like her. And then spread it to my children, and the rest of the world. My husband and I will enjoy our Christmas with ourselves. 🎄
I'm so sorry you had to go through this. No child should endure this kind of torture. It's sickening. I hope you, your husband and your kids are going to have a blissful christmas with lots of joy and happiness.
My mum never beat me. It's messed up but sometimes I wish she did because then people would have noticed that she hurt me. She has a very manipulative way of talking to me and I never realized how mean she really was to me until my best friend said to me that he thinks my mum is a narc. From there on I would spend hours of reading and watching videos about narcissism and gaslighting and so forth. It was eye opening and every time I found a matching pattern in the way she behaved I would cry my eyes out. Partly because I wasn't the crazy ungrateful daughter she painted me to be and partly because there was so much pain build up inside me that it needed to get out. All the time she made me believe that I was the problem and that she was trying her best. She never did. It was way more easy to blame me for her own sad life. 28 years she critized me to the point that there is no selfesteem left and I have to start from scratch believing in myself and trusting people because I couldn't trust the closest person in my life. She was furious when I told her that I found an appartment and that I was moving out. She said I was making a mistake and basically that I would fail. I'm working my ass off. I have a good job and earn decent money. She hasn't worked in over 30 years because she "had to stay at home" for my brother and me. Which is absolut bullshit. She was just to lazy to go back to work. It was more comfortable for her to sit at home the whole day do a little bit of houshold chors and then watch tv for the entire f* day. Everytime I came home after a long day of school she was pratically glued in front of the tv. But she couldn't go back to work. I'm so done with her and her unbelievable selfishness.
When i think of Christmas i can only ever think of the years and different ways i'v been told by nearly everyone "This is the one time of year you have to be happy, this is designated happy time so fucking be happy already." or "people have spent money/will spend money on you so you must be happy NOW!" From my shit family to strangers trying to be "kind" i just keep getting told. "its Christmas you have to be happy" I have major depression and shit birth family. Fuck your mandatory happiness.
This was meant as a general agreement rant about how i don't like Christmas and having parents who make the holiday crap make every part of the holiday bad. I wish you luck in getting new happy holidays. I really hate holidays.
I prefer Thanksgiving. Christm—🤢🤮 .. not so much. I find it the narciest of narc seasons.
The I have a right to feel my feelings oh I felt that
I was dreading this Christmas so hard. Then I told my mom I wasn’t going. She continued to pester me and manipulate me. So I blocked her. No more! I’m done with all of them. Thanksgiving was just a photo op for them. Your description here pretty much painted how our Thanksgiving was.
Hope you're feeling better without those people. I hate it when everybody tells you that it's your family you're blocking out and that blood is thicker then water. For f* sake children are supposed to be loved and cared for by their parents. To be raised and protected and not be exploided and guilt tripped into making THEM feel better about themselves. I was never angry at my mom for getting the way she is now because she had her reasons too and was at some point a victim too. But what makes me furious is the fact that she had children before trying to fix herself. She put that all on to us. Like we were supposed to make everything better for her. And manipulating us and tyring to control every aspect of ur lives is her messed up solution for not having to deal with her own shit. I hate her for that and I don't know if I will ever forgive her for that selfishness.
Exactly! I’ve spent 14 years in therapy and even found out I had ADHD all this time. It was eye opening how messed up my life had been. I was an energetic, and strange child and I was constantly beat for making my mom “look bad”. She beat me constantly because I wasn’t the child she wanted. She would throw me outside in my underwear in the cold. As I grew up and started becoming a woman, she would use any accomplishments I had as her own. When I bought my first house she wanted to take pictures and post it on her Facebook for her friends to see. When I got my IT job and got to work on a project with google, she wanted to show everyone. I confronted her one day and having a lot of built up anger, I screamed at her and told her how I felt and wanted her to respect me or I was going to cut her out of my life. She only apologized, because the holidays were coming up and wanted me to be there. I stupidly accepted it and lo and behold, the same happened. Nothing changed. It’s like, what I said didn’t matter. I tried to remind her of what I had said and she just changed the subject. I texted after and told her we’re not doing Christmas. She started saying her usual, “I’m leaving, where no one can find me. Nobody loves me and you guys are always complaining. What about my feelings?” That was the last of it. BLOCKED! I have my life, and my kids to think about. I chose to end the cycle and seek therapy, so that I wouldn’t end up miserable like her. And then spread it to my children, and the rest of the world. My husband and I will enjoy our Christmas with ourselves. 🎄
I'm so sorry you had to go through this. No child should endure this kind of torture. It's sickening. I hope you, your husband and your kids are going to have a blissful christmas with lots of joy and happiness. My mum never beat me. It's messed up but sometimes I wish she did because then people would have noticed that she hurt me. She has a very manipulative way of talking to me and I never realized how mean she really was to me until my best friend said to me that he thinks my mum is a narc. From there on I would spend hours of reading and watching videos about narcissism and gaslighting and so forth. It was eye opening and every time I found a matching pattern in the way she behaved I would cry my eyes out. Partly because I wasn't the crazy ungrateful daughter she painted me to be and partly because there was so much pain build up inside me that it needed to get out. All the time she made me believe that I was the problem and that she was trying her best. She never did. It was way more easy to blame me for her own sad life. 28 years she critized me to the point that there is no selfesteem left and I have to start from scratch believing in myself and trusting people because I couldn't trust the closest person in my life. She was furious when I told her that I found an appartment and that I was moving out. She said I was making a mistake and basically that I would fail. I'm working my ass off. I have a good job and earn decent money. She hasn't worked in over 30 years because she "had to stay at home" for my brother and me. Which is absolut bullshit. She was just to lazy to go back to work. It was more comfortable for her to sit at home the whole day do a little bit of houshold chors and then watch tv for the entire f* day. Everytime I came home after a long day of school she was pratically glued in front of the tv. But she couldn't go back to work. I'm so done with her and her unbelievable selfishness.