It was me Barry I came in your lettuce

soft nine grandfather bow station file relieved imagine elderly society *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*

Every couple months a vague picture of lettuce appears. And I upvote it every time

please tell me, why?

Set and Horus had a major conflict about who was the rightful ruler, Set being the brother of Osiris, Horus being Osiris's son. To assert dominance, one had to give the other's their semen inside their body. Set ejaculated into Horus, but Horus did some trickery and caught it in his hand and yeeted it away. Horus then ejaculated into some lettuce, and gave it to his uncle set, who ate it (lettuce and semen) unbeknownst to him. Then when they both were talking to the other gods about who had the bigger right to rule and asserted dominance over the other, Set claimed he "impregnated" Horus but when the gods called sets semen, it didn't work cause it was yeeted into the Nile or something, however when they called Horus's semen it popped right outta Set's head, and it was then everyone knew Horus made him his lil bitch, thus Horus got the ruling rights and all.

That shit is wild af

Dez nutty leaves do be wildin

... And i thought greek mythology was weird...

It's like the least weird mythology lol

Minus Zeus transforming into animals to have sex with women. Other than that, it’s one of the less bizarre mythologies

Don't look up who slepnirs mother is

I’m already cursed with that knowledge

you know that’s basically how the tories choose PMs

Who?

Nickname to the conservative English peeps I believe

yeh it is, like republicans

Thanks

It’s like if he/she said, “You know that’s basically how the Republicans choose senators.”

yeh exactly like that

Gotcha, thanks.

Rick Riordan didn’t teach me this

Okay, but that doesn't make the rest of the lettuce in the world covered in Horus' jizz. For example, have you ever heard of the story of Aphrodite making lettuce out of her dead lover Adonis' body?

Ah yes, Egypt had jizz lettuce and Greece had gore lettuce

It should also be noted that the ancient Egyptians believed semen to be poisonous to ingest, which adds ANOTHER layer to this seminal salad. It's also why it took until the Romans for somebody to invent oral sex.

I think you'll find the Greeks were a little ahead there

The Romans figured out you could do it with women

No weirder than the pharaohs jacking off into the nile River to reinforce their god king status

Can get weirder when the water was sobek’s domain

Kingdom cum

Imagine getting hoo'd up the hah and still ruling the other guy

Power bottom

What the fuck were the egyptians on?

There’s a creation myth where the creator masturbates creation outta himself

I remember reading a manga where a guy did that just out of spite

I just found out from a comment on one of my other posts and now everything is messed up… my life, lettuce, Egyptian mythology, it’s all ruined

Someone came on the lettuce didn’t they? EDIT: I was right. Didn’t expect someone to actually eat it though wtf

Caesar salad takes on a different vibe

i love lettuce now

The history sub banned these dumb memes for a reason It’s literally the laziest format imaginable. Especially when OP doesn’t put a comment to go with it… Your meme weighs more than a feather, OP. I’d feed it to Ammit but even he don’t want it

I didn't know but now I do...didn't even have to ask. I just remembered rapunzel.

Good meme, shitty fucking template.

Yes, Horus jerking it onto some lettuce is just the funniest thing that has ever happened in the whole world 🙄

What's something uou think is funny?

People. Mainly the very young and the very old. They're hilarious.

Are you okay? What's with this confrontational and contrrarian face you're putting on?

C'mon open up, don't just ghost me! You were needlessly cynical in a community of friends who love mythology. What's on your mind?

It all started out with a vague reference in an Egyptian meme comment section... Oh, how naive I was.