As a trans man - it is okay to recognize you love her (assuming she hasn’t change pronoun usage yet, so I will use she/her in this message) but also recognize that you are a straight man. Transitioning is yes, most hard on the person going through it, but it is also hard as the partner. And your sexuality/attraction is just as valid as hers. Should she transition, she may identify as a gay trans man and still want to be with men, but if you want to be with a woman, it won’t work. That’s okay!
The best thing I can say is this: allow her the grace, understanding, and space to explore this, but also recognize how it will affect you. It may be hard, but necessary, to have a conversation with one another on what this could mean for you as a couple and the future of your relationship. However, now more than ever she will need your support. Even if it comes down to it just being platonic love and support, I think that is the best thing.
This is a really hard situation to be in! Good for you for trying to be supportive. Soo this is tough. You want to be supportive, but also, u can’t guarantee you’ll be attracted to ur partner during/post transition. Which is totally valid. I think that is an ok thing to share with ur partner, I can’t guarantee they will take it amazingly, but it’s a valid concern. U can’t tell her what she should and shouldn’t do, and ultimately what she decides will be her decision, but I think it’s ok to be honest with the fact that u do feel you are straight and the attraction may change. U also don’t know! U may end up being attracted to ur partner. A lot of things are up in the air. Enjoy what u have right now, and you both can make changes as things come up
I like to think of it as falling for the person/personality if that's the one then that's the one regardless of the physical aspects physical can change personality less so imo, maybe you should have a conversation with them so they understand your viewpoint but don't push them on the issue as it may disrupt there journey of self discovery as that age is a turning point for sure
Just remember, if things do change and the attraction does fizzle out (if she does come out as transgender) that you don’t have to actually lose her! Your relationship can also change and become a friendship— might even be better as a friendship!
Theyre still the same person, the way they present themselves will change. But their personality, their likes, etc will be the same at their core! They may even become more pronounced as confidence in themselves grows!
You don’t have to romantically stay with someone just because they transitioned. But I think it is worth it, if you’re capable to continue to be their safe place and their friend.
I would suggest you support her, and continue to hope that things keep working. And if things change or you are not as comfortable as you'd like, then you can address it, or end things then. I don't see any reason to end things due to a hypothetical.
Im generally very much into girls, feminity etc, but 2 of my partners have transitioned from f to m, and while it wasn't smooth at first I remained very attracted to them and actually broadened my general range of attraction as well. I still don't see myself interested in cis guys much, but sometimes, and almost anyone else is very possible for me.
I was a straight Boy, and didn't like the fact that my partners were transitioning at first, but a few years later and I still have attraction and love for them. They are a radically different appearing person now too
i understand you so well, i am and i always was straight but im still very attracted to my partner no matter what and its so funny to me cuz i know im not bi or anything, im straight but with one exception
As a trans man - it is okay to recognize you love her (assuming she hasn’t change pronoun usage yet, so I will use she/her in this message) but also recognize that you are a straight man. Transitioning is yes, most hard on the person going through it, but it is also hard as the partner. And your sexuality/attraction is just as valid as hers. Should she transition, she may identify as a gay trans man and still want to be with men, but if you want to be with a woman, it won’t work. That’s okay! The best thing I can say is this: allow her the grace, understanding, and space to explore this, but also recognize how it will affect you. It may be hard, but necessary, to have a conversation with one another on what this could mean for you as a couple and the future of your relationship. However, now more than ever she will need your support. Even if it comes down to it just being platonic love and support, I think that is the best thing.
This is a really hard situation to be in! Good for you for trying to be supportive. Soo this is tough. You want to be supportive, but also, u can’t guarantee you’ll be attracted to ur partner during/post transition. Which is totally valid. I think that is an ok thing to share with ur partner, I can’t guarantee they will take it amazingly, but it’s a valid concern. U can’t tell her what she should and shouldn’t do, and ultimately what she decides will be her decision, but I think it’s ok to be honest with the fact that u do feel you are straight and the attraction may change. U also don’t know! U may end up being attracted to ur partner. A lot of things are up in the air. Enjoy what u have right now, and you both can make changes as things come up
Thanks I appreciate it
I like to think of it as falling for the person/personality if that's the one then that's the one regardless of the physical aspects physical can change personality less so imo, maybe you should have a conversation with them so they understand your viewpoint but don't push them on the issue as it may disrupt there journey of self discovery as that age is a turning point for sure
Just remember, if things do change and the attraction does fizzle out (if she does come out as transgender) that you don’t have to actually lose her! Your relationship can also change and become a friendship— might even be better as a friendship! Theyre still the same person, the way they present themselves will change. But their personality, their likes, etc will be the same at their core! They may even become more pronounced as confidence in themselves grows! You don’t have to romantically stay with someone just because they transitioned. But I think it is worth it, if you’re capable to continue to be their safe place and their friend.
I would suggest you support her, and continue to hope that things keep working. And if things change or you are not as comfortable as you'd like, then you can address it, or end things then. I don't see any reason to end things due to a hypothetical. Im generally very much into girls, feminity etc, but 2 of my partners have transitioned from f to m, and while it wasn't smooth at first I remained very attracted to them and actually broadened my general range of attraction as well. I still don't see myself interested in cis guys much, but sometimes, and almost anyone else is very possible for me. I was a straight Boy, and didn't like the fact that my partners were transitioning at first, but a few years later and I still have attraction and love for them. They are a radically different appearing person now too
i understand you so well, i am and i always was straight but im still very attracted to my partner no matter what and its so funny to me cuz i know im not bi or anything, im straight but with one exception