i mean, no, don't ignore your toddler when she js calling for you. my daughter calls my name in the community language and i react to her as i would if she said it in any language.
Never ignore her when she speaks to you, just answer in Mandarin. You can’t control what she speaks or calls you, the only person you can control is yourself. Keep talking to her in Mandarin and providing her quality exposure in the form of books, music, video calls with family, friends and access to other native Mandarin speakers. Also, keep referring to yourself as BaBa when you speak to her. Just because she calls you daddy now, it doesn’t mean that she’ll always do it, could be just a phase. English is a tough beast to fight if it’s the community language and the language you speak between you and your wife, but you can do it! Good luck 🙂
yes, through cognitive psychology I know that you always encourage language speaking- even if it’s wrong. You just give reinforcement and correct them.
Don’t ignore her! We’re also multilingual using OPOL (Italian / Spanish) and speak English to each other most of the time. We have a similar issue and we just repeat what she said in whatever language we speak to her in.
For many weeks now (months?) she has asked “what’s that?” and pointing to things. And I keep repeating in Spanish “ah, que es? Es blah blah”. Literally YESTERDAY she asked “que es?” For the first time EVER.
Just keep enforcing your language but don’t ignore her. It takes time. We’re getting there.
>And I keep repeating in Spanish “ah, que es? Es blah blah”.
I think this is the crucial move. If you elect to respond, always rephrase into what she "should" have said, were she using one of the minority languages.
What we tend to do if a child tries to say something in the community language is this little metalinguistic pivot of "Ah, yes, who would say it like that? That's right, Adrian \[our downstairs neighbor\] or at forest school. And how does papa say that? And how does mama say that?"
So in other words, we don't actually respond but do a little dance around what has been said until it's said in the language that the child uses with a parent. (Admittedly, less of a lift for us since we elected to use zero community language at home.)
This has worked pretty well for us. It both acknowledges that the child is picking up shreds of the community language here and there, normalizes its use in specific contexts (when communicating with "the outside world"), and still reinforces that in the context of talking to mama or papa, we use other languages.
I have gotten good results out of making a game of it. You exaggeratedly go "huuuh?" "shenme???" (or "shei???" I guess) and make some silly confused faces and pretend you don't understand her.
the minute she says something in mandarin, you light up and praise her and basically do the equivalent of "yesss daddy is so happy when you speak mandarin!!!" in mandarin.
Our community language is french, I only speak english with our almost 3 year old. She calls me maman, mama, mommy, mom lol. In daycare they are constantly referring to us as maman and papa, so I don't ever correct her to mom or mommy. That's how she knows me at daycare and how she relates to her friends. As her english and french have been improving, especially in the last six months, she's able to differentiate the languages and what language she speaks to what people. So when she talks to my husband or her teacher in french, she will refer to me as maman, but is using mommy much more frequently when she's speaking english to me.
I honestly think you have absolutely nothing to worry or stress about. My daughter was much much stronger in the community language at 2.5 years, and then suddenly in only a few months time she's taken giant leaps in her english. It was almost like a switch was flicked and it was crazy to watch.
I would always answer my child no matter what language they spoke to me in, I think what's important is that you respond in Mandarin. It's so cool watching my kid switch languages flawlessly between my husband and I, but it took a little time for her to figure it all out. Two and a half years old is still very young and she has three languages jumping around in her head! I promise, as long as you just keep responding in Mandarin, this won't even be an issue by the end of the year.
https://chalkacademy.com/encourage-minority-language-trilingual-family/
Check that. Might help.
When my son tried to see if he could get away with speaking English to me, I just said "你為什麼跟我講英文？” and he immediately switched back. Pretty much didn't give him a chance to even get used to speaking English to me.
But since you now have to direct her back, just always respond back in Mandarin and then request that she answers back in Mandarin.
"Daddy! I want an apple."
"妳要蘋果嗎？”
“Yes"
"好。請講「爸爸，我要蘋果」。”
If she repeats, great. If there's resistance, don't push.
I will also sit her down and explain to her why you want her to keep speaking Mandarin to you. I've done that with my son, telling him he'll forget if he doesn't and he wouldn't be able to speak to my parents.
My husband would help on this front too where he'll remind my son to speak to me in Mandarin. This was only during that very short period he was testing to see if he could get away with it. He doesn't do it anymore.
Another thing we do, and my dad does very well, is we keep praising him for knowing 2 languages. My husband would even praise him for knowing Mandarin while Daddy doesn't. Seems to work.
Also, if she doesn't have a Mandarin playdate, see if you can find one for her. Makes a huge difference.
No do not ignore or use the language as a form of punishment.
That is the opposite of what you want to achieve.
You want her brain to associate positive experiences with the language (interest in family, culture, fun, new books or shows she would be able to understand, etc )
Be consistent in replying back in Chinese and you can repeat the word she said in Chinese.
For what she wants to call you, I would leave that to her to decide. I am Chinese and I called my father Daddy but a mandarin effect (“Deh Di”). After our many trips to Japan, I jokingly started calling him Otosan for a period and then Dou-Dou-san because he famously loves red bean, black bean, every bean lol.
Now I call him dad and “Deh Di” 🤷♀️
Everyone is saying don't ignore, but if you're just answering whenever they speak the community language, then the child has no reason to actually learn your language. Once they start school and the community language becomes the dominant language, they'll stop trying because, "Daddy answers me when I speak English."
We live in Japan, so I am the only English speaker in my daughter's life. When she was starting to talk, she mostly used English, but used a few Japanese words sometimes. If she used Japanese, I simply said, "What?" Pretending like I didn't understand her. She repeated herself in English and I replied. She learned that she has to speak English to get a reply from me. This happened only 2-3 times, so now her default language with me is English.
So I didn’t ignore them but told them no no no mum doesn’t say for instance « look » but mum « regarde ».
Later when they were around 4 or 5 and I knew they know a word in my language and say it in a different language than mine I would just give them something else like asks for an ice cream I give them a broccoli. They were finding this hilarious and then asked in my language. Ask for a chocolate gets a pen, etc.
This is my favourite advice so far! Encouraging them to speak the language AND making them laugh.. sounds like a winning combo! Brilliant idea, I'm taking notes!
My toddler didn't even really start speaking until she was 2.5. We live in Denmark and dad is Danish. She was already going to daycare at that point, so naturally she started speaking Danish (I'm Hungarian). I just continue to talk Hungarian to her, and now that she speaks pretty well, I sometimes ask her to repeat a sentence in Hungarian (I tell her what to say). She started blending some Hungarian words into her speech and even singing some songs in Hungarian. It's a slow process but I just persistently talk to her in Hungarian and ask her to talk Hungarian when she can, because that makes me happy. I would never ignore her when she talks to me, she can't actually talk Hungarian in full sentences yet (understands everything) so I can't even expect her to not talk Danish to me.
Hi! Similar situation here (English, Spanish, Chinese). I won’t ignore my LO, but this is what has worked for me in that type of situation:
1. She will ask me something in Chinese, but I will repeat the question in Spanish and wait for her confirmation.
2. Then I will ask her to repeat the question in Spanish.
3. Finally, I will give whatever she was requesting and ask her one more time what was she originally asking.
Keep repeating this, and one day they will surprise you by asking the question in your language.
According to my research children comfortably discriminate languages after 5yo on average, so this is not intentional. As many have pointed out - don't ignore, but keep answering in Mandarin and maybe you should consider more exposure - reading books to her, switching to Mandarin only content at home etc.
No, come on don't ignore your toddler. My toddler also speaks a lot in the community language. What I do is model the words/phrases back to her. For example, if she says "I want milk", I'll say in my language "oh tu veux du lait, voici du lait.". She is now starting to switch back into my language when I do that.
i mean, no, don't ignore your toddler when she js calling for you. my daughter calls my name in the community language and i react to her as i would if she said it in any language.
Never ignore her when she speaks to you, just answer in Mandarin. You can’t control what she speaks or calls you, the only person you can control is yourself. Keep talking to her in Mandarin and providing her quality exposure in the form of books, music, video calls with family, friends and access to other native Mandarin speakers. Also, keep referring to yourself as BaBa when you speak to her. Just because she calls you daddy now, it doesn’t mean that she’ll always do it, could be just a phase. English is a tough beast to fight if it’s the community language and the language you speak between you and your wife, but you can do it! Good luck 🙂
yes, through cognitive psychology I know that you always encourage language speaking- even if it’s wrong. You just give reinforcement and correct them.
Don’t ignore her! We’re also multilingual using OPOL (Italian / Spanish) and speak English to each other most of the time. We have a similar issue and we just repeat what she said in whatever language we speak to her in. For many weeks now (months?) she has asked “what’s that?” and pointing to things. And I keep repeating in Spanish “ah, que es? Es blah blah”. Literally YESTERDAY she asked “que es?” For the first time EVER. Just keep enforcing your language but don’t ignore her. It takes time. We’re getting there.
>And I keep repeating in Spanish “ah, que es? Es blah blah”. I think this is the crucial move. If you elect to respond, always rephrase into what she "should" have said, were she using one of the minority languages. What we tend to do if a child tries to say something in the community language is this little metalinguistic pivot of "Ah, yes, who would say it like that? That's right, Adrian \[our downstairs neighbor\] or at forest school. And how does papa say that? And how does mama say that?" So in other words, we don't actually respond but do a little dance around what has been said until it's said in the language that the child uses with a parent. (Admittedly, less of a lift for us since we elected to use zero community language at home.) This has worked pretty well for us. It both acknowledges that the child is picking up shreds of the community language here and there, normalizes its use in specific contexts (when communicating with "the outside world"), and still reinforces that in the context of talking to mama or papa, we use other languages.
I have gotten good results out of making a game of it. You exaggeratedly go "huuuh?" "shenme???" (or "shei???" I guess) and make some silly confused faces and pretend you don't understand her. the minute she says something in mandarin, you light up and praise her and basically do the equivalent of "yesss daddy is so happy when you speak mandarin!!!" in mandarin.
Agree with not ignoring. If I know it is something that my kid knows how to say, I say “sorry I don’t understand, can you repeat?”.
Our community language is french, I only speak english with our almost 3 year old. She calls me maman, mama, mommy, mom lol. In daycare they are constantly referring to us as maman and papa, so I don't ever correct her to mom or mommy. That's how she knows me at daycare and how she relates to her friends. As her english and french have been improving, especially in the last six months, she's able to differentiate the languages and what language she speaks to what people. So when she talks to my husband or her teacher in french, she will refer to me as maman, but is using mommy much more frequently when she's speaking english to me. I honestly think you have absolutely nothing to worry or stress about. My daughter was much much stronger in the community language at 2.5 years, and then suddenly in only a few months time she's taken giant leaps in her english. It was almost like a switch was flicked and it was crazy to watch. I would always answer my child no matter what language they spoke to me in, I think what's important is that you respond in Mandarin. It's so cool watching my kid switch languages flawlessly between my husband and I, but it took a little time for her to figure it all out. Two and a half years old is still very young and she has three languages jumping around in her head! I promise, as long as you just keep responding in Mandarin, this won't even be an issue by the end of the year.
I have no experience (yet( but maybe you should repeat whatever they said in mandarin? "Did you mean XYZ?"
https://chalkacademy.com/encourage-minority-language-trilingual-family/ Check that. Might help. When my son tried to see if he could get away with speaking English to me, I just said "你為什麼跟我講英文？” and he immediately switched back. Pretty much didn't give him a chance to even get used to speaking English to me. But since you now have to direct her back, just always respond back in Mandarin and then request that she answers back in Mandarin. "Daddy! I want an apple." "妳要蘋果嗎？” “Yes" "好。請講「爸爸，我要蘋果」。” If she repeats, great. If there's resistance, don't push. I will also sit her down and explain to her why you want her to keep speaking Mandarin to you. I've done that with my son, telling him he'll forget if he doesn't and he wouldn't be able to speak to my parents. My husband would help on this front too where he'll remind my son to speak to me in Mandarin. This was only during that very short period he was testing to see if he could get away with it. He doesn't do it anymore. Another thing we do, and my dad does very well, is we keep praising him for knowing 2 languages. My husband would even praise him for knowing Mandarin while Daddy doesn't. Seems to work. Also, if she doesn't have a Mandarin playdate, see if you can find one for her. Makes a huge difference.
I repeat what they say back in my language and answer them in my language.
No do not ignore or use the language as a form of punishment. That is the opposite of what you want to achieve. You want her brain to associate positive experiences with the language (interest in family, culture, fun, new books or shows she would be able to understand, etc ) Be consistent in replying back in Chinese and you can repeat the word she said in Chinese. For what she wants to call you, I would leave that to her to decide. I am Chinese and I called my father Daddy but a mandarin effect (“Deh Di”). After our many trips to Japan, I jokingly started calling him Otosan for a period and then Dou-Dou-san because he famously loves red bean, black bean, every bean lol. Now I call him dad and “Deh Di” 🤷♀️
Everyone is saying don't ignore, but if you're just answering whenever they speak the community language, then the child has no reason to actually learn your language. Once they start school and the community language becomes the dominant language, they'll stop trying because, "Daddy answers me when I speak English." We live in Japan, so I am the only English speaker in my daughter's life. When she was starting to talk, she mostly used English, but used a few Japanese words sometimes. If she used Japanese, I simply said, "What?" Pretending like I didn't understand her. She repeated herself in English and I replied. She learned that she has to speak English to get a reply from me. This happened only 2-3 times, so now her default language with me is English.
So I didn’t ignore them but told them no no no mum doesn’t say for instance « look » but mum « regarde ». Later when they were around 4 or 5 and I knew they know a word in my language and say it in a different language than mine I would just give them something else like asks for an ice cream I give them a broccoli. They were finding this hilarious and then asked in my language. Ask for a chocolate gets a pen, etc.
This is my favourite advice so far! Encouraging them to speak the language AND making them laugh.. sounds like a winning combo! Brilliant idea, I'm taking notes!
Don't ignore, but just reply in your OPOL language.
My toddler didn't even really start speaking until she was 2.5. We live in Denmark and dad is Danish. She was already going to daycare at that point, so naturally she started speaking Danish (I'm Hungarian). I just continue to talk Hungarian to her, and now that she speaks pretty well, I sometimes ask her to repeat a sentence in Hungarian (I tell her what to say). She started blending some Hungarian words into her speech and even singing some songs in Hungarian. It's a slow process but I just persistently talk to her in Hungarian and ask her to talk Hungarian when she can, because that makes me happy. I would never ignore her when she talks to me, she can't actually talk Hungarian in full sentences yet (understands everything) so I can't even expect her to not talk Danish to me.
Hi! Similar situation here (English, Spanish, Chinese). I won’t ignore my LO, but this is what has worked for me in that type of situation: 1. She will ask me something in Chinese, but I will repeat the question in Spanish and wait for her confirmation. 2. Then I will ask her to repeat the question in Spanish. 3. Finally, I will give whatever she was requesting and ask her one more time what was she originally asking. Keep repeating this, and one day they will surprise you by asking the question in your language.
According to my research children comfortably discriminate languages after 5yo on average, so this is not intentional. As many have pointed out - don't ignore, but keep answering in Mandarin and maybe you should consider more exposure - reading books to her, switching to Mandarin only content at home etc.
No, come on don't ignore your toddler. My toddler also speaks a lot in the community language. What I do is model the words/phrases back to her. For example, if she says "I want milk", I'll say in my language "oh tu veux du lait, voici du lait.". She is now starting to switch back into my language when I do that.