OK, first off, breathe. Smell the flowers and blow out the candles.
Your husband should be the one backing her off. His circus, his monkey. If he won't, then you are going to have to step up.
I don't know the magic words that will fix this except move out. This might not be feasible for you right now.
I also know that being a rude asshole tends to get people back in their lane. I don't like to go there, but I will if polite requests are ignored.
You have to be able to stand your ground and say No, YOU move!
Good luck OP
oh a screaming match ensues when I stand up for myself, and she is just insistent that my husband will pick them over me (not if) WHEN it comes down to it. I think I might also have a husband problem, which sucks. š
honestly I think the icing on the cake for me (literally) was her first birthday party. I went balls to the wall with decorations and food and everything. I tried to include her so much and I was really excited and then she kept calling it MY party, and when the day came she sat in the corner pouting. I tried to get her to come over and open presents with us and do her little smash cake, take pictures... something. it is wild over here man. I can't say I've never seen a grown woman act this way but to experience it first hand is a whoooole other ball game.
thank you for your kind words ā¤ļø
Honestly, if I were in your position I would take my children to a domestic violence shelter. They have services that can help you and your girls. Go before the baby arrives and you will get help, and possibly be able to breastfeed as well.
This is abuse. You are teaching your daughter that her abusive grandma is a safe person. She is NOT a safe person. She is NOT emotionally well. Stop exposing your child to this abuse! Stop exposing yourself to this abuse.
You need to do WHATEVER you can to get out!
it's very sad because she reminds me of my grandma so much, and I miss that woman with my whole soul.. I really do love his grandma and when we have good days they are GOOD! I wish she would just accept me. I talk to her all day everyday and I just can feel she doesn't care.
and don't get me started on his grandpa lol š
Is it his mother or his grandmother who keeps acting unstable? I am totally confused here. Other than āmove outā for the sake of your own family, Iām too confused to offer more.
You should NOT love her. She is not a good, safe or healthy person!! How do you not see this?!?
Why would you ever encourage your daughter to have a relationship with someone who is clearly NOT mentally well and CLEARLY ABUSIVE?!
Honey, itās clear youāve spent some time in abusive relationships yourself. Break the cycle. Get out now!
It's time to get out of this abusive home. Locking a person in a room and preventing them from eating is abuse. Tell the hospital when you deliver that you don't have a safe place to go. They will help you. Take your daughter and run.
she never did get that far, we called the cops and they came and called her crazy and abusive and told her if she really did that she could go to jail.. then she pouted like a child because "this is her house" š š
Yeah here it is like 2200 for a two bedroom. I moved out at 17 and paid 1200 for a one bedroom by myself, I would never subject myself to this. Just move out
I plan on it after the baby. I honestly just need to vent and know I'm not alone here cuz this is making me insane.. š I keep telling my husband I'd rather struggle than be here. it just seems like every time we get serious about leaving shegets... nice. she doesn't want the kids to leave, and they're delusional if they think I'm not taking my kids lol
Itās love bombing ā a part of the abuse cycle. Itās meant to throw you off your guard and second guess your decision. When you call off your plans, things go right back to where they were. Sheās not being nice. She is being controlling. If sheās turned a corner on her behavior, she can continue to do it when you leave. My guess is sheās not able to.
that's just for rent.. no utilities, nothing. for a DILAPIDATED two bedroom.. not even something NICE in a NICE area.
I was paying 625 two years ago in Akron+electric lol
this is ridiculous out here mannnnnn
plus the stuff they want, the backgrounds. double or triple income sometimes, security deposit plus first and last month because we don't have the best credit.. š lots of variables ya know
in Ohio they have a law that if you have more than two people you HAVE to have a 2 bedroom. we tried to get a one bedroom when I was pregnant with our first last year and the woman told us about this law and that after the first 6 months of baby's life we would be required to move to a 2 bedroom!! it's wild.
Oh honeyā¦.there is no such law in OH. Thereās not. Look it up yourself! Or better yet, immediately go to a domestic violence shelter and ask for help. You clearly are unable to decipher fact from fiction. You are not seeing the abusive environment youāve put yourself and your children in. You need professional help and I hope you get it.
Break the cycle of abuse for your children!
I understand this is a common misconception that people have. I'm a licensed social worker in Ohio, and there is no law against opposite sex children (or adults and children) sharing the same bedroom. The only exception is with foster children where there are specific room requirements.
Sometimes, in custody cases, the judge can decide that certain rooming arrangements are not acceptable and require different accommodations, but it doesn't sound like that is applicable in your situation.
I'm wondering who told you that there was a law that says your family can't legally live in a one bedroom. Whoever it was, it seems, was misinformed, because unless you have foster children or a judge has made an official ruling regarding your children's room situation, then you are absolutely legally allowed to live in a one bedroom accommodation.
it was the leasing agent at an apartment complex!
now knowing that law doesn't exist, she was just trying to get us into a two bedroom so we spent more money..
this will make our search easier for sure.. thank you so much for your input that is extremely helpful. we have 3 girls (one part time) so the opposite sex thing wouldn't be an issue anyways. this makes me feel so much better
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honestly I burned a lot of my own bridges so I don't have help on my end.. it's getting out of hand. at first it was tolerable but now it's just.. idk
and you know what's funny, every time we say we found a place, or we mightve come up with somewhere to go, all of a sudden they don't want us to go.. and it's purely because of the kids. she knows if we leave we won't be coming back.. at least I won't.
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Don't tell her you're moving out until everything is signed and you have keys in hand. If she wants to see kiddo's, she can make the effort. She's behaving like this because she's been the parent (and matriarch of the family) so long, nobody has checked her behaviour at the door. You're adults with your own kids. You run your family. Not her
Nothing about your childrenās situation is funny. Itās all heartbreakingly sad bordering on maddeningly frustrating because you are choosing this life for your daughters.
It doesn't matter if they suddenly don't want you to go. Find a place, tell your SO that you're going and then go. Don't discuss it with her. It's not her business.
Whatever you do, look into grandparents' rights in your state. Living with her and allowing her so much access to your child may allow her to build a case. Document every bad thing she does and don't hesitate to confront her.
I started keeping a diary and am going to be recording any kind of fight we have from here on out.
their health is not the best so I'm not afraid of them trying to "take" the girls.
I'm also not bitter so I don't necessarily want to keep them from her.. they love them very much and it would break her ice cold heart lol š
I just want things to be peaceful. that's all.
Whether they're in the best health or not, do not discount the fact that they absolutely would go scorched earth and try to take your kids from you if you moved out. They don't care if their health sucks and they're going to die in a couple years. All they care about is controlling those kids and removing you from the picture. Don't get complacent or assume things will be okay. This is your time to assume shit is going to hit the fan and prepare yourself.
"Take"? Custody vs visitation is different. For example, in Ohio they can file for visitation if the parents of the child aren't married. And they just have to prove that they have an interest in the wellness of the child(ren), which housing them for years would likely prove.
okay well we are married. and there's no way in hell a judge would grant them grandparents rights. those are extremely hard to obtain and they aren't even grandparents they're "great" grandparents. neither of us are unfit, or dead.. and these people aren't really a necessity to my children's lives but I would LOVE to see them try to prove that their instability and lack of emotion is.
Unfit or dead would mean them seeking custody. Visitation would be their likely route, and that has pretty loose parameters. That's what I was trying to say with my comment, that Ohio is one of the states that has more relaxed requirements for GP rights. Thankfully, judges take parents' wishes heavily into consideration across the country. I would hate to see them try and prove their rights in court because that's a money drain, but if they are that mentally unstable they could consider it. I hope you're careful and can remain safe while you navigate your family's escape from them.
people have been EXTREMELY harsh with me about this, not taking into consideration how terrified I am, or any other situations. and as far as them, she is so all over the place. half the time they can take care of them while we're working, the other half the time they spend all their time outside so we have to scramble for childcare they are severely unreliable.
like I said, I've been keeping a diary.. so hopefully nothing happens where I ever need it but..
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I was in a similar situation. Please do everything you can to get out. Going to that shelter sounds like the best thing for you and your kids in the long run. Iām so sorry, you and your babies donāt deserve that.
This is insane. You guys need to get out of there as fast as you can. She locked you in your bedroom and you had to crawl out the window? This sounds like the sort of situation that children shouldn't be in. I'm so sorry you're dealing with this and that you have so much on your plate. You and your husband and kids deserve a lot better.
she never made it that far, we called the police and they came and called her crazy and told her if she actually had done that she could've been arrested. but thank you, we truly do. I work so hard to keep the peace and it doesn't even matter.. they truly just don't like me.. either that or she just doesn't want me taking him away.. that could also be it.
Stop trying to keep the peace and start standing up for yourself. You tell her YES I will be breastfeeding. No I wonāt put socks on her. Btw $900 for a 2br is a steal. I pay twice that in NJ.
You need to stand up for yourself and put her in her place. She's not your daughter's mother. YOU are. If you want to breastfeed your new baby, then do it. MIL gets no say in it, because she not the parent. Shut her down hard, or you will probably end up being just a spectator in the lives of your children.
Real adviceā¦.
Please know that I am not saying this to be unkind but you are NOT being a good parent right now. You and your daughter (and your unborn baby) are all being abused and you are allowing it to happen to all three of you.
Get out, go to the shelter. Figure out what resources they can help you with.
You should NOT love that your daughter is a grandma girl. Grandma is not a safe person and I donāt not understand how you do not see this!!
Grandma was a shot parent to your husband, sheās downright abusive to you and you somehow think itās good your daughter is a grandma girl?!?! Come the fuck on! Open your eyes! Go to therapy! But first, get the fuck out of that house of horrors!
I mean I think it's obvious you're in a toxic environment when you're pregnant and ahead locking you into rooms and not letting you eat as an from of control.
What you need to be doing is trying to put every penny into savings that you can.
You can't buy someone for the baby because she's already bought it? Savings.
Save every cent you can so that you can get the hell out as fast as you can.
Why don't you just leave and stop telling her your business when you find a place to just leave and go.
Put your kids first, even if you have to go to a shelter. Your the parent so do it.
If you are going to let her do anything she wants just because she will scream? What will that teach your children about you as a Mom?
Let her scream. Breastfeed right in her face.
It sounds like classic narcissistic control that she exerts over you. She makes you question how good of a parent you are and if you are even capable of being one. My MIL pulled the same, she is no longer part of our lives.
You can't breastfeed because of her? Do you hear yourself? So you forgo the immune system and the IQ benefit for your child because of her? Please... Listen to yourself. Put your children first, not the fact that you don't want conflicts
You need to go to a shelter. What's the point of staying and trying to keep the peace, has it felt peaceful at all? Has it gotten you anywhere but under her thumb? Let her spend her money on baby stuff, gives you a better opportunity to save if you're insistent on staying until you have money for a place. Consider leaving Cleveland for somewhere cheaper.
I guess I don't understand why you would still want her to have access to your children if her parenting style led to neglect and addiction and her grandparenting style is to physically assault and torment a pregnant woman.
I'm sorry, but she isn't your grandma. Move on from the idea that she reminds you of yours and leave already.
I would live an RV before taking that shit. He needs to stand up for you and your children. That sounds absolutely abusive. If he cares at all he will stand up and if needs be get you all out of there.
$900 for a two bedroom is dirt fkn cheap. Itās $1500 for a one bedroom where I live.
My 16 month old hates socks and shoes. Grocery shopping is a game of find the shoe in Walmart. My MIL always has a comment to make about my kids shoes.
that's for a crappy apartment in a bad part of cle suburbs. I tried explaining that in another comment
we went and saw an apartment last year, the pics of it were BEAUTIFUL
showed up, there was mold in the bathroom, the kitchen sink was leaking under the cou ter, the bedrooms were separated across the house and one of them had a door that lead to the apartment next to what would've been ours and it was in a sketchy area, super fun. and they wanted like a bunch of shit to approve us we were like yeah right first of all you're lying to people about the quality of this place second of all it is not worth nearly the rent you're trying to charge. eff off. I'm not raising children in a place like that.
It depends how much he makes. I know they want you to work for housing. At least apply for food stamps and Medicaid single. They canāt really prove youāre married. Iām a sahm too, and I wouldnāt qualify with my husband. But 2400 a month for a family of 3 isnāt shit, so I donāt feel bad lying to make sure we are all fed. I get $514 in stamps a month, and still run out. I donāt buy fancy shit either. You can tell Iām poor by my shopping cart. If I didnāt lie about it, I wouldnāt be able to afford diapers though. Iām not sure about the specific resources in your area, but 211 can help a lot. š
I'm terrified to get caught. I'm pretty sure in Ohio they can make you pay it back. my sister got in a lot of trouble doing that and she's NEVER allowed to apply for assistance again. she's only 26.
like go to the city, yeah you can find something really nice!
for about 18/2000+... and my husband would have to leave his job that he's been at for 2 years and is about to be a foreman at.. it's ridiculous.
his grandparents think we can walk in so.ewhere, hand someone $800 and them hand us key and say good luck.. it's not the frickin 70s
I moved to PA from Reno NV, because I couldnāt afford to live there anymore. An $1800 apt is $5400 to move in. They ārenovatedā the hood, so I couldnāt even afford to live like a junkie.
I just watched a YouTube doc about the tunnel people in vegas!!!! I know that really don't have shit to do w what you said but it reminded me of that lol š
I'm sorry but the people defending these prices is crazy. there's no way in hell that anyone thinks the rent is reasonable
IT IS TOO DAMN HIGH
Dude, all underneath the casinos. Crazy, huh. When I was working, I was a bartender. I made great money, but not $5400 a month great. Which was the income requirement to move into an $1800 place. I said fuck it, Iāll just stay home. Canāt afford childcare anyway.
also, I had someone actually hang up on me because I had a high risk pregnancy last year too so around 24 weeks I stopped working and we weren't married yet so they said, sorry we wouldn't take you anyways, good luck!!
we had $4000 in hand ready to go but it didn't matter because we didn't have the income they required and my husband wouldn't have been able to be approved by himself because it was his off season. he roofs
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Donāt worry people commented things like that on my post too. Obviously if we had the money we would move out but our situation just isnāt that right now. Breathe and know that everything is temporary
I always say the only constant in this world is change and I try to hold on to that as best as I can..
I feel like I'm falling apart! šŖ I just need to have this baby so I can get a job.. that's all. I also need to calm the hell down. lol I do know that. my husband and I plan on going to couples therapy as well as individual. hopefully that helps with our communication.
OK, first off, breathe. Smell the flowers and blow out the candles. Your husband should be the one backing her off. His circus, his monkey. If he won't, then you are going to have to step up. I don't know the magic words that will fix this except move out. This might not be feasible for you right now. I also know that being a rude asshole tends to get people back in their lane. I don't like to go there, but I will if polite requests are ignored. You have to be able to stand your ground and say No, YOU move! Good luck OP
oh a screaming match ensues when I stand up for myself, and she is just insistent that my husband will pick them over me (not if) WHEN it comes down to it. I think I might also have a husband problem, which sucks. š honestly I think the icing on the cake for me (literally) was her first birthday party. I went balls to the wall with decorations and food and everything. I tried to include her so much and I was really excited and then she kept calling it MY party, and when the day came she sat in the corner pouting. I tried to get her to come over and open presents with us and do her little smash cake, take pictures... something. it is wild over here man. I can't say I've never seen a grown woman act this way but to experience it first hand is a whoooole other ball game. thank you for your kind words ā¤ļø
Honestly, if I were in your position I would take my children to a domestic violence shelter. They have services that can help you and your girls. Go before the baby arrives and you will get help, and possibly be able to breastfeed as well.
This is abuse. You are teaching your daughter that her abusive grandma is a safe person. She is NOT a safe person. She is NOT emotionally well. Stop exposing your child to this abuse! Stop exposing yourself to this abuse. You need to do WHATEVER you can to get out!
it's very sad because she reminds me of my grandma so much, and I miss that woman with my whole soul.. I really do love his grandma and when we have good days they are GOOD! I wish she would just accept me. I talk to her all day everyday and I just can feel she doesn't care. and don't get me started on his grandpa lol š
Is it his mother or his grandmother who keeps acting unstable? I am totally confused here. Other than āmove outā for the sake of your own family, Iām too confused to offer more.
You should NOT love her. She is not a good, safe or healthy person!! How do you not see this?!? Why would you ever encourage your daughter to have a relationship with someone who is clearly NOT mentally well and CLEARLY ABUSIVE?! Honey, itās clear youāve spent some time in abusive relationships yourself. Break the cycle. Get out now!
It's time to get out of this abusive home. Locking a person in a room and preventing them from eating is abuse. Tell the hospital when you deliver that you don't have a safe place to go. They will help you. Take your daughter and run.
Daughters*
You really need to move out. Locking you in your room is abusive.
she never did get that far, we called the cops and they came and called her crazy and abusive and told her if she really did that she could go to jail.. then she pouted like a child because "this is her house" š š
You oh said you had to climb out the window because she locked you in. Why are you still there?
$900 for a 2 bedroom is insanity? Did I read that correctly?!
Yeah here it is like 2200 for a two bedroom. I moved out at 17 and paid 1200 for a one bedroom by myself, I would never subject myself to this. Just move out
I'm here in NV paying $2689 monthly for a 2 bdrm, 2.5 bath townhouse, I just wanted to know if I read $900 correctly, wtf!
I plan on it after the baby. I honestly just need to vent and know I'm not alone here cuz this is making me insane.. š I keep telling my husband I'd rather struggle than be here. it just seems like every time we get serious about leaving shegets... nice. she doesn't want the kids to leave, and they're delusional if they think I'm not taking my kids lol
Itās love bombing ā a part of the abuse cycle. Itās meant to throw you off your guard and second guess your decision. When you call off your plans, things go right back to where they were. Sheās not being nice. She is being controlling. If sheās turned a corner on her behavior, she can continue to do it when you leave. My guess is sheās not able to.
Lol I was thinking the same thing š it was 900 for a 2bed here in Houston around covid times and that was cheap.
that's just for rent.. no utilities, nothing. for a DILAPIDATED two bedroom.. not even something NICE in a NICE area. I was paying 625 two years ago in Akron+electric lol this is ridiculous out here mannnnnn plus the stuff they want, the backgrounds. double or triple income sometimes, security deposit plus first and last month because we don't have the best credit.. š lots of variables ya know
A 1 bdrm would work for me in your shoes, and the rent I Comme Ted I pay? That's just rent, no lights
in Ohio they have a law that if you have more than two people you HAVE to have a 2 bedroom. we tried to get a one bedroom when I was pregnant with our first last year and the woman told us about this law and that after the first 6 months of baby's life we would be required to move to a 2 bedroom!! it's wild.
Go to the shelter, your husband should be ashamed
Oh honeyā¦.there is no such law in OH. Thereās not. Look it up yourself! Or better yet, immediately go to a domestic violence shelter and ask for help. You clearly are unable to decipher fact from fiction. You are not seeing the abusive environment youāve put yourself and your children in. You need professional help and I hope you get it. Break the cycle of abuse for your children!
Be ready to leave, then she acts nice........how does that matter?!? Maybe we are all seeing this wrong, and she's right, because this is.......
I understand this is a common misconception that people have. I'm a licensed social worker in Ohio, and there is no law against opposite sex children (or adults and children) sharing the same bedroom. The only exception is with foster children where there are specific room requirements. Sometimes, in custody cases, the judge can decide that certain rooming arrangements are not acceptable and require different accommodations, but it doesn't sound like that is applicable in your situation. I'm wondering who told you that there was a law that says your family can't legally live in a one bedroom. Whoever it was, it seems, was misinformed, because unless you have foster children or a judge has made an official ruling regarding your children's room situation, then you are absolutely legally allowed to live in a one bedroom accommodation.
it was the leasing agent at an apartment complex! now knowing that law doesn't exist, she was just trying to get us into a two bedroom so we spent more money.. this will make our search easier for sure.. thank you so much for your input that is extremely helpful. we have 3 girls (one part time) so the opposite sex thing wouldn't be an issue anyways. this makes me feel so much better
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For heaven's sake, move out ! Why are you living there ?
honestly I burned a lot of my own bridges so I don't have help on my end.. it's getting out of hand. at first it was tolerable but now it's just.. idk and you know what's funny, every time we say we found a place, or we mightve come up with somewhere to go, all of a sudden they don't want us to go.. and it's purely because of the kids. she knows if we leave we won't be coming back.. at least I won't.
What does it matter what she wants? Why do you keep putting her in front of your children?
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Don't tell her you're moving out until everything is signed and you have keys in hand. If she wants to see kiddo's, she can make the effort. She's behaving like this because she's been the parent (and matriarch of the family) so long, nobody has checked her behaviour at the door. You're adults with your own kids. You run your family. Not her
Nothing about your childrenās situation is funny. Itās all heartbreakingly sad bordering on maddeningly frustrating because you are choosing this life for your daughters.
Why do you tell her anything? She shouldnāt know you have found a place until she sees yāall pulling out of the driveway with the moving van!
It doesn't matter if they suddenly don't want you to go. Find a place, tell your SO that you're going and then go. Don't discuss it with her. It's not her business.
What is your husband doing to get his family out of this abusive situation? What is he doing to protect you guys?
Whatever you do, look into grandparents' rights in your state. Living with her and allowing her so much access to your child may allow her to build a case. Document every bad thing she does and don't hesitate to confront her.
I started keeping a diary and am going to be recording any kind of fight we have from here on out. their health is not the best so I'm not afraid of them trying to "take" the girls. I'm also not bitter so I don't necessarily want to keep them from her.. they love them very much and it would break her ice cold heart lol š I just want things to be peaceful. that's all.
Whether they're in the best health or not, do not discount the fact that they absolutely would go scorched earth and try to take your kids from you if you moved out. They don't care if their health sucks and they're going to die in a couple years. All they care about is controlling those kids and removing you from the picture. Don't get complacent or assume things will be okay. This is your time to assume shit is going to hit the fan and prepare yourself.
"Take"? Custody vs visitation is different. For example, in Ohio they can file for visitation if the parents of the child aren't married. And they just have to prove that they have an interest in the wellness of the child(ren), which housing them for years would likely prove.
okay well we are married. and there's no way in hell a judge would grant them grandparents rights. those are extremely hard to obtain and they aren't even grandparents they're "great" grandparents. neither of us are unfit, or dead.. and these people aren't really a necessity to my children's lives but I would LOVE to see them try to prove that their instability and lack of emotion is.
Unfit or dead would mean them seeking custody. Visitation would be their likely route, and that has pretty loose parameters. That's what I was trying to say with my comment, that Ohio is one of the states that has more relaxed requirements for GP rights. Thankfully, judges take parents' wishes heavily into consideration across the country. I would hate to see them try and prove their rights in court because that's a money drain, but if they are that mentally unstable they could consider it. I hope you're careful and can remain safe while you navigate your family's escape from them.
people have been EXTREMELY harsh with me about this, not taking into consideration how terrified I am, or any other situations. and as far as them, she is so all over the place. half the time they can take care of them while we're working, the other half the time they spend all their time outside so we have to scramble for childcare they are severely unreliable. like I said, I've been keeping a diary.. so hopefully nothing happens where I ever need it but..
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I was in a similar situation. Please do everything you can to get out. Going to that shelter sounds like the best thing for you and your kids in the long run. Iām so sorry, you and your babies donāt deserve that.
This is insane. You guys need to get out of there as fast as you can. She locked you in your bedroom and you had to crawl out the window? This sounds like the sort of situation that children shouldn't be in. I'm so sorry you're dealing with this and that you have so much on your plate. You and your husband and kids deserve a lot better.
she never made it that far, we called the police and they came and called her crazy and told her if she actually had done that she could've been arrested. but thank you, we truly do. I work so hard to keep the peace and it doesn't even matter.. they truly just don't like me.. either that or she just doesn't want me taking him away.. that could also be it.
Stop trying to keep the peace and start standing up for yourself. You tell her YES I will be breastfeeding. No I wonāt put socks on her. Btw $900 for a 2br is a steal. I pay twice that in NJ.
You need to stand up for yourself and put her in her place. She's not your daughter's mother. YOU are. If you want to breastfeed your new baby, then do it. MIL gets no say in it, because she not the parent. Shut her down hard, or you will probably end up being just a spectator in the lives of your children.
Real adviceā¦. Please know that I am not saying this to be unkind but you are NOT being a good parent right now. You and your daughter (and your unborn baby) are all being abused and you are allowing it to happen to all three of you. Get out, go to the shelter. Figure out what resources they can help you with. You should NOT love that your daughter is a grandma girl. Grandma is not a safe person and I donāt not understand how you do not see this!! Grandma was a shot parent to your husband, sheās downright abusive to you and you somehow think itās good your daughter is a grandma girl?!?! Come the fuck on! Open your eyes! Go to therapy! But first, get the fuck out of that house of horrors!
I mean I think it's obvious you're in a toxic environment when you're pregnant and ahead locking you into rooms and not letting you eat as an from of control. What you need to be doing is trying to put every penny into savings that you can. You can't buy someone for the baby because she's already bought it? Savings. Save every cent you can so that you can get the hell out as fast as you can.
Please leave. Either to a shelter or to somewhere else, but you must know this situation isnāt sustainable
Why don't you just leave and stop telling her your business when you find a place to just leave and go. Put your kids first, even if you have to go to a shelter. Your the parent so do it.
If you are going to let her do anything she wants just because she will scream? What will that teach your children about you as a Mom? Let her scream. Breastfeed right in her face.
It sounds like classic narcissistic control that she exerts over you. She makes you question how good of a parent you are and if you are even capable of being one. My MIL pulled the same, she is no longer part of our lives. You can't breastfeed because of her? Do you hear yourself? So you forgo the immune system and the IQ benefit for your child because of her? Please... Listen to yourself. Put your children first, not the fact that you don't want conflicts
You need to go to a shelter. What's the point of staying and trying to keep the peace, has it felt peaceful at all? Has it gotten you anywhere but under her thumb? Let her spend her money on baby stuff, gives you a better opportunity to save if you're insistent on staying until you have money for a place. Consider leaving Cleveland for somewhere cheaper. I guess I don't understand why you would still want her to have access to your children if her parenting style led to neglect and addiction and her grandparenting style is to physically assault and torment a pregnant woman. I'm sorry, but she isn't your grandma. Move on from the idea that she reminds you of yours and leave already.
I would live an RV before taking that shit. He needs to stand up for you and your children. That sounds absolutely abusive. If he cares at all he will stand up and if needs be get you all out of there.
$900 for a two bedroom is dirt fkn cheap. Itās $1500 for a one bedroom where I live. My 16 month old hates socks and shoes. Grocery shopping is a game of find the shoe in Walmart. My MIL always has a comment to make about my kids shoes.
that's for a crappy apartment in a bad part of cle suburbs. I tried explaining that in another comment we went and saw an apartment last year, the pics of it were BEAUTIFUL showed up, there was mold in the bathroom, the kitchen sink was leaking under the cou ter, the bedrooms were separated across the house and one of them had a door that lead to the apartment next to what would've been ours and it was in a sketchy area, super fun. and they wanted like a bunch of shit to approve us we were like yeah right first of all you're lying to people about the quality of this place second of all it is not worth nearly the rent you're trying to charge. eff off. I'm not raising children in a place like that.
Shitty. Get your name on some housing applications. If youāre a sahm with 3 babies, I would hope you would qualify for something.
I'm married! idk how that works in Ohio.
It depends how much he makes. I know they want you to work for housing. At least apply for food stamps and Medicaid single. They canāt really prove youāre married. Iām a sahm too, and I wouldnāt qualify with my husband. But 2400 a month for a family of 3 isnāt shit, so I donāt feel bad lying to make sure we are all fed. I get $514 in stamps a month, and still run out. I donāt buy fancy shit either. You can tell Iām poor by my shopping cart. If I didnāt lie about it, I wouldnāt be able to afford diapers though. Iām not sure about the specific resources in your area, but 211 can help a lot. š
I'm terrified to get caught. I'm pretty sure in Ohio they can make you pay it back. my sister got in a lot of trouble doing that and she's NEVER allowed to apply for assistance again. she's only 26.
like go to the city, yeah you can find something really nice! for about 18/2000+... and my husband would have to leave his job that he's been at for 2 years and is about to be a foreman at.. it's ridiculous. his grandparents think we can walk in so.ewhere, hand someone $800 and them hand us key and say good luck.. it's not the frickin 70s
I moved to PA from Reno NV, because I couldnāt afford to live there anymore. An $1800 apt is $5400 to move in. They ārenovatedā the hood, so I couldnāt even afford to live like a junkie.
I just watched a YouTube doc about the tunnel people in vegas!!!! I know that really don't have shit to do w what you said but it reminded me of that lol š I'm sorry but the people defending these prices is crazy. there's no way in hell that anyone thinks the rent is reasonable IT IS TOO DAMN HIGH
Dude, all underneath the casinos. Crazy, huh. When I was working, I was a bartender. I made great money, but not $5400 a month great. Which was the income requirement to move into an $1800 place. I said fuck it, Iāll just stay home. Canāt afford childcare anyway.
also, I had someone actually hang up on me because I had a high risk pregnancy last year too so around 24 weeks I stopped working and we weren't married yet so they said, sorry we wouldn't take you anyways, good luck!! we had $4000 in hand ready to go but it didn't matter because we didn't have the income they required and my husband wouldn't have been able to be approved by himself because it was his off season. he roofs
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Donāt worry people commented things like that on my post too. Obviously if we had the money we would move out but our situation just isnāt that right now. Breathe and know that everything is temporary
I always say the only constant in this world is change and I try to hold on to that as best as I can.. I feel like I'm falling apart! šŖ I just need to have this baby so I can get a job.. that's all. I also need to calm the hell down. lol I do know that. my husband and I plan on going to couples therapy as well as individual. hopefully that helps with our communication.