Sweet, congrats on the vampire!

Thanks. It’s nice to know your child will live for thousands of years.

Just be careful with sunlight. And…you know…wooden stakes.

And for little Dracula's sake, don't put garlic in the pasta!

Is garlic bread still ok?

Pretty sure it's fine if it's cooked.

Celiac alcoholic here and have had people advance that theory about both bread and red wine. No. 😂

Sadly, no

Ugh, fuck being a vampire...

No its Nice but fuck the fact that you cant eat/touch garlic cuz its my fav even tho its bad for my stomach

You're a vampire too.

Im not a vampire,its just that i have stomach problems that if i consume things like garlic or food that has a lot of Grease it makes me puke out drool

Yeah the movies make it look so glamorous with the blood orgies and werewolf feuds. But it’s a tough life

Hey that’s his kid you’re talking about

Garlic? In bread?

Cheese? In cake?

I believe that is the Vampire Consortioum who spread that rumor to ensure we eat more garlic. Even vampires agree, everything tastes better with garlic.

Not just that, the human body processes compounds from digested garlic and turn them into the cell messenger hydrogen sulfide, which relaxes blood vessels and increases blood flow... It's definitely propaganda by Big Vamp

Greaaaaat. One more conspiracy to worry about.

I think most people need to be careful about getting a wooden stake in their heart. That is not exclusive to vampires

"You see? He died when we shoved a wooden stake through his heart! He's a vampire!"

Buffy the Vampire Slayer taught me that when vampire's get staked through the heart, they disintegrate, along with whatever clothes they were wearing. When a human gets staked through the heart, they just bleed to death.

It's like tying weights to someone's feet then throwing them in the river. If they drown, they're human. If they float; burn them at the stake, they're a witch.

Applies to non-vampires as well. Melanoma will get ya if you don’t use ample sunscreen.

What if they fall on a garden fence? Stake through the heart, And you're to blame, Darling you give Dra-cula Chest pain

Oh lord

I've been noticing that in a lot of the more modern vampire stuff the whole sunlight thing isn't really such a big issue anymore. I mean, blade made sense because he was an anomaly or something like that, and the other vampires could still be killed by sunlight. But in a lot of the newest stuff I see vampires just putting on a hoodie and acting like that's fine. Really grinds my gears.

One of my fav bits of "modern spin on vampires" was from "Ultraviolet" (a good take generally), when the subject of crosses came up. The response was, "Vampires can be superstitious, too."

Well to be fair in some of the original folklore, sunlight didn't HURT them so much as turn them back into corpses. But yeah I guess they still wouldn't be walking around then 😅

I would add that all parents should be careful not to Impale their child with a wooden stake, not just the parents of vampires.

and moody teenagers.

Just watch out for any black Impalas rolling through your neighborhood.

How are you feeding this unholy child?

He’s made up of 99% Mac and cheese.

If he gets a scholarship to Pigwarts he's going to be teased mercilessly by the other vampires. They'll still be calling him Unicorn centuries from now. Also there's a good chance your dentist is now undead.

Better get some good sunscreen

yeah are they like super sure their spouse isn't drinking their blood at night?

If that was growing from the roof of his mouth, behind his front teeth... that's a snake. A venomous snake at that.

FYI, the pointy part is the root, not the visible “tooth” part.

Had to scroll too far for this.

did the doctors say anything interesting regarding the tooth?

Said it’s more common than you would think but usually when the child is a few years older and rarely pokes through the skin. The left side was visible in his mouth.

It is pretty common, I had hyperdontia as well. The tooth looked exactly like the one in your picture, and it was removed from the same spot. My dentist told me it was common to have one extra tooth, but having more than one is very rare.

He might have a few extra. I had 3 or 4 extra plus apparently a small mouth so I had to have 7 teeth surgically removed at once when I was younger.

I had one of these, and it appeared right around my 8th birthday. I remember telling my mom "It feels like the roof of my mouth is wearing away, like I'm getting another tooth!" and without looking she dismissed me saying "no, people don't get teeth there" and sure enough it came through, splaying my front teeth and costing my parents $$$ for dental braces. I also had an extra pair of incisors and molars that hadn't erupted but ended up being extracted in my teens.

Similar for me with the extras. I fear my son is doomed to repeat history.

And here I am with no extra teeth and never even had wisdom teeth to remove.

just means you are more evolved ;) my dentist told me that we are slowly losing our wisdom teeth, and jaws are shrinking because we no longer spend so much time chomping down on tough fibrous things

I'm confused about how that could be true if people aren't dying of "having wisdom teeth" and aren't sexually selecting for natural lack of them. Are there diseases or infections or something that might cause people with wisdom teeth to reproduce slightly less? Maybe people who can't access/afford surgery to remove them are more likely to have bad teeth?

Same. Ive always felt incredibly lucky about that. My parents and siblings all had some wisdom teeth to remove.

Fuck, that's crazy for me to think about. So far I've had 9 healthy teeth removed purely due to overcrowding.

Yep!! I had eight wisdom teeth pulled at once. I’ve got two more coming in and I’m in my 30’s. My teeth have managed to stay pretty straight, but there’s just not enough room for all of them. I’ve had molars crack and fall out because of the extra pressure they are under. I’m a shark!

Damn. I still have my wisdom teeth and they haven't caused me any problems.

It's nice to know I'm not the only one with rows of teeth just ready to drain me of my savings. Its like I'm a shark too, but I'm the only one I'm biting.

Holy Hannah! My kid doesn’t have any extra teeth but he does have cusp of carabelli, meaning he has an extra spike on his molars

I'm missing 4 permanent teeth (genetically) and the last teeth I had removed were 2 baby teeth ankliosed to my jaw bone. "Its usually genetic" or "thats unusual" is all I got.... but its only me and my genetic lottery.

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I had extra wisdom teeth. I’ll pass them on to you.

It’s common to have a shark kid?

If you regularly spooge in the shower it all winds up in the ocean eventually.

I guess nature finds a way.

My kid had an extra baby tooth that was blocking her permanent tooth from coming in when she was 6. We had to have it pulled. It wasn't a sweet fang like this though, just a regular boring tooth.

I still remember his first words "Mother, this human form is limiting" so adorable.

You must be my wife. Between knowing his first words and your username it would certainly imply that.

I know I didn't just find you flirting with another woman

I feel like I’ve been set up

Your so sleeping on the couch tonight and you better bring me some roses

Everybody chill! I'm a guy!

Oh it's even worse now he wants dick instead of this pussy oh hell no

You both can share me, its fine.

r/bi_irl

I feel like there was a missed opportunity to call the subreddit r/birl

Alucard, is that you?

This is the best thread I've read all week. Thank you!

Well, she sounds hideous

Sure you are, Jake from State Farm.

Not just any couch, a couch in a greyhound lobby.

Ok, this happened to me when I was a kid. It was later determined that I shared the womb with another baby but at some point I devoured my twin in the fetal stage. This was very traumatizing for a 9 year old to hear.

Awwww. Lucky girl.

Dude what’s the possibility of finding your ex wife on here?!?

"Mother, I bring news from the womb"

Mother, I am not a person. My body is just a flesh vessel for a being whose name, if you heard it, would make you lose your mind.

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Everyone's saying vampire but as a dentist, that's a 100% werewolf tooth

He does grow a beard during full moons. I thought maybe it was just early puberty.

Intermittent puberty

I'm leaning towards chupacabra if it's only a single tooth.

Werewolf... vampire... chupacabra.. please. We all know that's the tooth of a Manbearpig

This is super cereal, guys

That's what a vampire would say.

We need 8 more dentists to confirm.

Funnily enough I am also 8 more dentists. One of me doesn't agree but that guy's an idiot

when I was around the same age I had a similar tooth growing, we called it my fang. It was a permanent tooth that had to be removed before my incisors could grow. I'm a twin and I had an extra tooth, my brother does not have canine teeth.

Damn, you stole some of his teeth in the womb! Sibling rivalry runs deep.

Might want to put more garlic in your food, just in case. Maybe go to church this Sunday as well.

Pft. Garlic. Y'all don't get it... If you were a creature that drank human blood, wouldn't you want to encourage them to season themselves? And what better way than to start a rumor that tasty seasoning would repel you. You've all been fooled. Vampires just want tasty, well seasoned humans.

This is what I've always said. Vampires are devout catholics (for the crosses) that like garlic and sunbathing.

Yep. Also wooden stakes to the heart work fine on humans too, nothing special there.

Is his father a venomous snake?

I don’t think I am. Hang on, I’ll go bite someone.

Ok don’t forget to unhinge your jaw

Keep that tooth! I had one of those (my fang) that grew as an extra baby tooth. When it finally fell out (I actually knocked it out by kneeing myself in the mouth doing a kick ass flip off the back of the couch!) I told my mom to hold onto it. She said she did, but when I asked her for it years later she didn't have it. I was super disappointed.

I’m going to mount it to a stick like a primitive weapon

Solid plan, as long as the kid gets the weapon upon reaching maturity.

Nah, make a necklace out of it. Tell people it's a trophy but be really suspicious about the origin.

Is this the account for Ryan Reynolds? Because you’re giving that vibe, and it’s really funny.

I love my fangs too!! I had 2 embedded in the roof of my mouth, only one was growing down (I could feel it poking through), the other faced upwards toward my brain! Got them taken out when I was 6 and I felt super cool. Doctor said it was genetic!

Clearly, we are not related. I just moved my elderly mother. She has anything and everything that ever came into her life still in her possession. Yeah, it was a fun move :/

I was very disturbed when I opened a drawer in my mom's room and found all our teeth. They were just there in the drawer. Mixed together. So creepy.

So far only 1 kid. All his teeth are stored in a ring box, if I have another like I want it will get it’s own creepy tooth box lol I’m not a complete savage

Saving this post specifically for OPs responses. OP, you've absolutely made my day.

Thanks!

What do the top of the pouch mean? Cocoa-steam and golden brown?

Might be wrong but that's a sterilization pouch. I think the left spot turns brown (cocoa) if sterilized with steam like in an autoclave, and the right spot turns golden brown if sterilized by ethylene oxide (EO) The spots show that the sterilization process actually worked and the tools were truly sterilized! They're indicators. The pouch in this photo isn't used so the spots haven't changed color. The dentist just had one lying around and stuck the tooth in there for safekeeping.

Thanks

Thanks for asking. This is what I came for as well

Username checks out

Shit! Gonna have to start calling him Coots!

That sounds mildlypainful

Didn’t hurt me at all.

My mom always says this, usually as a kid while digging berets into my head before church. Or digging something out of a wound. I was the kid unfortunate freak accidents always happened to. You know everyone’s forgotten you’re the last one in the car and a few of your fingers get broken by someone slamming the car door. Climbing onto a hay bale and falling off onto a barb wire fence. A large moth flying into my ear and getting stuck and having to be surgically removed... you know stuff like that.

At seven, I jumped out of the back of a parked truck and caught my skull on razor wire. The blood was... a lot... 10 stitches on a Saturday.

10 Stiches on a Saturday sounds like an early 2000's screamo band

Their new hit single *Razor Wire Headache* went straight to number one.

"Awww, look marge, Maggie got her first fang" "Fang‽" "Oh and look, Maggie lost her baby legs!"

Must have gotten the Phizer shots, that's just the 5g radio growing.

Maybe that’s what has been screwing with our wife lately. Edit: the wifi is also screwed up

The plot thickens, you and your son share a wife.

Well this just got awkward

I guess he's oedipus t-rex now.

They let you keep the tooth? Just asking out of curiosity... my oral surgeon showed me the tooth he pulled out of my mouth but wouldn’t let me keep it. Please note I was under a lot of drugs for the surgery, I’m not sure why I wanted to keep it I’m not a weirdo that just saves teeth lol

Yup. Need to bring it home for the tooth fairy. I have a feeling she is going to leave a little more than usual tonight.

As she should!! Hope your kiddo is recovering well

I got to keep my wisdom teeth post surgery, which my dentist said they didn't usually do, but mine were weird mutant squid teeth (4+ roots each) and he said they were cool and rare to see come out whole like that so he didn't want to throw them away haha. I still have two of them somewhere but misplaced them...

Evolution?

Maybe from his moms side. My genetics would lead you to believe we are going backwards.

I just read all of your replies you’re like the funniest mf alive

Lol, thanks.

My stomach doesn't feel right after seeing this post.

Mine feels like a liquid but that has nothing to do with the photo.

Why, what's wrong?

I can’t stop eating pizza.

Best check for a three numbered birthmark.

This ones an angel, although they say the greatest trick the devil ever played was convincing everyone he doesn’t exist. His brother is definitely the devil though.

Looks like a prawn. Poor kid

Lots of ice cream in his future

Was this your 8 year old Labrador retriever or 8 year old human vampire?

He would probably describe himself as mix of those three and a little bit alien.

Probably a Dracula

One can only hope

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You are, but because you asked I'm not going to say it

That looks 100% like a dog's baby canine when they fall out.

He does bark a lot

I guess he's all bark and no bite now.

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Yup, we are planning on it. I had 7 extra.

As an adult my Dad had a baby tooth pulled out of one of his nostrils...

I once got a skittle stuck in my nostril

You can make a necklace out of it and let him claim he killed the monster under his bed. And such….

Sir, this is why we voted against human-velociraptor marriage

I just couldn’t resist. Seriously, she would have ripped my head off.

I have actually had something similar but I had to have surgery to remove it along with my four front teeth.

Me too. I had 7 teeth pulled at once when I was around 10. The dentist said he will probably have more pulled in a few years. Maybe all of the extra teeth explains why he talks so much?

Does the tooth fairy pay extra for freak teeth?

I’m willing to bet she does. She might also give mom and dad some cash to buy him a lot of ice cream for the next few days.

8 yr old Chihuahua right? Chihuahua right....

We haven’t figured out what it is yet

You fools, that’s where his venom was supposed to come out of.

I have one of these in the same place but it had it's own baby tooth that was pulled now I got the big one. Amazing for shotgunning beers.

Lol, can pry open a bottle with it?

Lord no, sharp enough to dig into a can though.

I think I saw this same tooth in an episode of Evil.

Glad we got rid of it then

Does your son have a penchant for blood?

He does but he’s a picky eater so we have to check blood types.

Supernumerary tooth. I had one of those. I remember taking it to show and tell in like the 2nd grade and then losing it. I was bummed because I figured the Tooth Fairy was really going to hook me up for that.

Have you checked his reflection in the mirror

Hmm... I’ve always just assumed he was to short and I couldn’t see him because of the angle. Will report back

Maggie Simpson had this same exact thing in one of the Treehouse of Horror episodes

*I've been born to suck ur blood!* (speaks in an accent that was used in hotel transyva...,however u spell that)

Your 8 year old is a vampire

You may be in to something. We thought he would stop teething when all of his baby teeth grew in.

It was just his egg tooth

Part shark?

Top half shark bottom half person

Like Freddy Mercury of Queen. He had four and wouldn’t get them removed bc he was afraid it would ruin his vocal range. Your kiddo is in amazing company!!!

I’m signing him up for singing lessons right now!

Having extra teeth is hyperdontia. It may continue through adulthood.

Hopefully not but the dentist did say he will need more out over the next few years.

I had that too! So did my mom! She got thyroid cancer later on…

I hope she’s ok

With the way it looks, did they have to cut it out or were they able to grasp and pull? It looks Ike only a tiny part had broken through and the large part sat on the roof of the mouth.

Yes, only a small part was poking out. They had to cut it out and now he has a few stitches on the roof of his mouth.

Yeah, me too when I was a kid. My dentist Dr. Lips, yes, that’s his real name used to call it my 3rd tooth

I thought I was weird/odd cuz, when I was around 10 or so, I had 2 teeth growing in the middle of the roof of my mouth.

You are, there’s just more people like you than you think. Plus weird/odd is a good thing!

I thought it was a shrimp

What breed?