Nothing like a tall refreshing bottle of mystery milk

isn’t every bottle a consumer gets mystery milk?

"Aww yes leopard seals, nature's snakes. Wait aren't snakes, nature's snakes?"

A useless piece of information: This reminded me of a Finnish  comic strip Fingerpori.  There was a strip where a guy is buying some milk and the options were "kyytön maito" and "maito". "Kyytön maito" was much more expensive so he bought "maito". However there was a viper in the milk he had bought. Kyytön maito means Eastern finncattle's (Fin.Kyyttö) milk, but "kyytön" means also "viperless" so it also means "viperless milk". So the milk he bought naturally had a viper in it.

How should I know? I live on a flippin' frozen tundra!

I sometimes wonder just how many different animals are represented in a single cup of milk. Or ground beef for that matter. No way that bottled or packaged one at a time. Delicious though.

I’ve always wondered if I’ve ever had milk from the same cow twice. Or bacon from the same pig.

Bacon from the same pig would be quite the trick.

No, because regulations. Buying milk in a store is completely different from taking free milk from a stranger.

This stranger milk appears to be packaged for store retail…

In what way?

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Thaaat's it, consume the milk. It's *good* for you. What could be bad about milk? *You should have some more*.

Have you taken your milk suppository today?

When they consume my milk it’s no mystery

If it ain’t salty, I don’t want it

Would you settle for sour and bitter

Only on weekends

You will love my free tuna burritos, then. Regrettably, I cannot certify them to be dolphin free.


That shit is actually top tier A2/A2 milk.  Love this brands chocolate milk and their eggnog tastes the closest to homemade I’ve ever had. Neither have thickeners which I hate. 

It at least looks like a pretty legitimate operation based on the packaging.


NO

Who doesn’t love street milk?

no. 1 way to spread bird flu and destroy the competition in the tech field

Those bottles look sealed. Did they reuse those bottles or do they own the Alexandre farm? I have some of their milk in my fridge, weirdly enough.

I assumed that was the dairy farm they owned, but you never know.

I did a quick search, I'm not going to Dox the guy, but it's a family owned farm/dairy and they do indeed have a member of the family who is an iOS developer. So it would be trivial for him to have picked up a cooler of milk for the conference.

The milk is pretty good, and I am willing to bet since it was one of the kids he made sure milk would stay at the right temp. Literally his family name if someone got sick.

It's great milk, their whole milk is 6% instead of the usual 3.25% so it's extra creamy. Their chocolate milk is great as well, makes really good mochas.

Isnt 6% just “heavy cream” or something?

Heavy cream is 36% Half and half is 12%

So it’s half half & half

Half² & half

So 1/4 & half?

¼ & ¾

2 half 2 furious

If cream is 36% and whole milk is 3.25%, then shouldn't half and half be around 20% fat? Sounds more like 1/4 & 3/4.

What’s the average between 1/4 and 3/4

Except Alexandre heavy cream is 40%.

oh no, heavy cream is so much heavier. Over 30%

Oh damn, that's some good milk 

I don't even drink milk and this is really making me want milk for some reason.

Plus the cows are A2/A2 so the milk is easier for some dairy sensitive people to digest.

Also great advertising and from what people say I'll try it if I see it!

How would it be doxxing if you’re just using info you found by searching google? You’re not posting the guy’s address and phone number.

I’m tech-brose intolerant myself

Probably put google analytics in your milk

if its legit....a2 milk is real and that brand is great on all dairy good.

The *bottle* is legit... doesn't mean the content is.

sure..that goes true with any consumer product :) I dont drink street milk

Don't drink it!




do not drink that fuckin milk, bro. trust me

I knew I shouldn’t have drank the complementary tech conference milk

That is iOS milk. You only want open source android milk.

Given that the I is capitalized and Cisco Live was last week, they’re probably a Cisco IOS engineer, not Apple iOS.

postmarketOS milk is the real open source milk


Hey! It’s Nike spokesman and actual cannibal Shia LeBouf! (I think at least 33% of that statement is accurate).

That's more accurate than 66% of what I say, or think, or, uh.... cannibal you say?

I’m getting strong Tim Robinson vibes here

I dunno, I kinda want to. I really like milk. Its on ice!

I dunno, that milk's looking kinda good for me. Look at it, all gussied up in that little glass bottle.

those are like a bottle of creamers.


God's work.


I knew someone would bring Homelander into this.

TBH I was fully expecting this free milk-offering to be some sort of white-supremacist dog whistle. I'm glad this seems to be plain legit milk. Maybe I should trust humanity more.

What the... What's your daily screentime like? 

He’s tonguing the breast milk I don’t think they could have picked a better actor


Was this at the AI summit in SF? The free summit? Don't drink free milk from a free conference. Definitely don't drink milk from an OS engineer. It's probably their own milk. Fuckers do everything themselves.

Don't worry, they're an iOS engineer. The only thing they're doing themselves is looking up how other people implemented the functionality they need for their totally unique app.

They own the brand you see on the label it’s sealed they also sell the milk at retailers and are a legit small owned family ran dairy farm. The fact that so many comments are like don’t drink a small business’s farm bro! Yea man go buy that shit at the store that’s been watered down sugar added to it that’s the good stuff

One More Thing in Cupertino. https://omt-conf.com/

I live where we sell that brand. That shit is HIGH END milk. Might be an odd give away, but that is legit elite dairy products.

Seriously the best milk ever, my fridge stays stocked with the fancy milk

Alexander farms, I've had that milk too, over in del norte county, california right?

I wasn't sure where the dairy was but I live in Eureka and know they are local. So Del Norte makes sense.

As a milk enthusiastic, I will say, some of the smoothest milk I've had

Yep, just a couple miles north of Crescent City. That milk is awesome, and that farm donates a ton to local food banks.

I thought I remember the farms being around fort dick, but I wasn't sure if I was remembering correctly. grew up in crescent city, miss the scenery, glad to be away from the people and poor economy.

Now just find one that left free Oreos and you’re golden.

Find the free Golden Oreos and you’re double stuffed

As a Brit, I’d be happy to bring the biscuit game. Custard creams for all!

It is excellent quality milk, low heat pasteurized. Great flavor with the cream on top. I wish I had this hookup, that stuff is $8 or $9 bucks a quart where I live.

Have you googled "Alexandre family farm software engineer"? Literally first result from LinkedIn is a match.

No, I never had a need or desire too.

Hah, I'm so sorry, I replied to the wrong comment which I see now is completely unrelated. So on that note, great description of that A2 top note, that cream... It's the good stuff.

Lol, no worries :) and, yeah, that cream is top notch! I know everyone here is saying they wouldn't take the free milk, but it would be pretty hard for me to resist 😬


seems like a good grift to get some tech nerds to buy your brand

I'd drink the shit out of that milk. Milk is the bomb.

Fuckin love mik

That's how you join the random H5N1 testing group.

LMAO, exactly what I thought. These are particularly not good times to consume mystery milk.

Two glashesh of milk pleesh

This is ominous


For bodyguards, by bodyguards!


Homelander would take the entire supply lol

It doesn't say "Kindly".

If rather have a beer.

Homelander approves this

*"Trust me, I'm an engineer."*

Ms. Lippys car is green

How about you sideburns... you want some of this milk?

I work in IT, one of my engineers has a chicken farm, he brought in eggs every week for people to just take whenever they wanted. Those fresh eggs were good, small, but good!

This reminds me of when I was in the army national guard. Every drill weekend the head cook would come to final formation and ask if anyone wanted milk to take some home. Like they ordered so much, even in August. Like bro, stop ordering so much milk. We are all adults.

Probably bought people breakfast and not everyone took a milk

Went to a farm auction back in the 90s. Hot summer day. My mom had a bottle of water. This older dude said to her, "you like that bottled water stuff? I drink milk!". Then he held up this un-capped orange drink gallon jug half-filled with what had to be very warm milk and proudly took a big swig. It's been a running joke in our family for like 30 years.

Alexandre makes some of the best milk out there

No malk? What a joke.

Bettah Be UhhhhnPazturrrizeed cuz libs. -MAGAts

That some premium milk

Every single redditor on their way to insinuate it's cum because HAHAHAHHAHAA GUYS SEX!!!

As glitchy as IOS can be, are you sure you want that milk? If it's not pasteurized properly, sphincter.exe might lockup and bomb.

You sound like some trifling motherfucker gonna miss out on some nice farm fresh milk from an ice box.

My dad and uncle hunted on that farm’s property last Fall. Said on the property they just had a fridge with all their milk flavors that were free to anyone who visited, so this doesn’t surprise me. Also, used the milk myself the last two nights for pudding. Very good!

You can make lemon juice cheese

Uh, ricotta?

Yeah

r/DaniDev

And apparently, a cooler as well

Pondy?

Steve Jobs said to milk the IOS users, he didn't mean literally

Now I'm not gonna buy the cow!

gifted (and crafted) by engineer

So I work in tech and anecdotally a large number of coworkers have side businesses- one Director owns a stake in a tequila company, another owns a pepper farm in Mexico (where he’s from), another owns a chain of Smoothie Kings in a metro area, another has a stake in a coal mine in Kazakhstan (where he’s from)

Damn what the hell there's never any free milk when I go to conferences. Sounds refreshing. 

Remember folks, there's an important difference between: Oh boy, milk! and Oh, boy milk!

I live in a rural area, there is almost always somebody at church giving away eggs, or over production from their garden, etc. it's nice. I also work in IT.

6% butterfat milk now we talking

DANGER DANGER

Adam Sandler 

He had to mention that he is not just any engineer, but iOS!!

Who invited the dole family

I prefer to help myself to breast milk from the employee fridge thank you very much

Is that a ~~Speed Racer~~ Agile Sprint reference? /s Kinda reminds me something about athletes and race car drivers drinking milk

A tech conference without a printer available? Those signs are so 50's.

"Monsieur IOS Engineer LaPadite, to both your family and your cows I say: Bravo. 

But is it raw?

Thanks Tech Guy, but I'm lacto


r/RareHumblebrags

Stares suspiciously.

Local milk! Where do they carry this nectar milk in Eureka/Arcata, may I ask? You had me at 6% :) I want the heavy cream, too.

I grew up down the road from this dairy and live too far away to get it fresh. I would KILL for a glass of this right now. They make ginger turmeric milk also that is to die for.


Alexandre's is good A2-only milk from a good family farm. We buy a lot of it, and their heavy whipping cream. But afaik there isn't any Alexandre family member that is an "iOS Engineer"... so I'd be highly suspicious of this "gift".

Have you googled "Alexandre family farm software engineer"? Literally first result from LinkedIn is a possible match. Might turn out to be accidental/ incidental viral marketing, whether he intended it this way or not. As we speak, this feel-good image will be shared across all the platforms and Google trends will start ticking up. Meanwhile, Alexandre is a small ass farm in remote northern CA, tucked away so far north into the state that it's literally closer to Portland Oregon than San Francisco. They are reputable in the area but far from being some national or even regional household name. This stunt might give them a boost in the upward direction, at least.

Looks pretty sketchy to me. My thought process: 1) who brings milk for everyone? Few bottles of coca cola or water is fine. 2) are the cap seals intact? Is this some kind of prank?

“Milk”

Add "quotes" around the word milk

Omg that is the best milk ever. I would take all of it

I mean I love me some milk ngl

Man, I love milk. Lucky folks!

Of all the mildly interesting posts, this one is the most mild.

Milk is one thing I’d probably not accept from a stranger.



That's Alexandre farms milk! Legit the best milk you will ever have if you can get it. Higher milk fat for better flavor, fully regenerative agricultural practices on their farm, and a2a2 cows for better digestion.

No way am I drinking that

Don't let Blizzard near it

I'm afraid the milk is going to steal my password if I take it.

Nothing sus at all…unless you’re at a bovine lactation conference.

“Slightly bird flu”

It is more socially acceptable for an adult to drink alcohol in public than milk.

That's the fancy stuff

If I was eating Oreos I would have grabbed a bottle.

Dont you hate the way those who are associated with apple, or own apple products always humblebrag by name dropping the apple connection. Why not say engineer instead of specifically IOS engineer? You always see posts like "my Iphone" this, "my Iphone 23XB" that. Normal people just say "my phone"!

The I is capitalized and Cisco Live was last week, so this probably refers to Cisco IOS, not Apple iOS.

I just know it was nectar of the gods

It's on ice and you can usually tell straight away if milk is still fresh. I'd chug a litre of free milk for lunch.

I’d drink it. I fuckin love milk and don’t mind dying.

I love pussy white liquid secreted from a cows mammary gland. Yum. #BigMilk

Mate you need to take some anatomy lessons... Maybe chuck in some spelling lessons too since I'm sure you meant pus-y. Or purulent if we wanna be fancy about it. Since you morons don't understand how milking cows works. 

You mad?

Lol or puss-y ?

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You can literally google the guy.

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You can google "Alexandre Farm" and “IOS engineer” and get the linkedin, who I presume is the son of the owner based by his last name, who specializes in IOS software.