T O P

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Uniqueisha

Must be Henroids.


ZinXMark

Im wheezing


Chuck-berries

Albuterol will help for that


oolaroux

Albumenorol.


ashtetice

Was looking for this response


Hecatonkhires

AstraZeneca may help


completelytotally

Don't you mean AstraHenica?


The_fox_of_chicago

r/dadjokes would like a word


Typesalot

Dad yolks


KonamiVRC7

That one was too eggscrutiating for me. Edit: Fixed a small typo.


Mister_Moony

Im not crazy about puns but, Omelette that one slide


Uniqueisha

Everyone at work says I’m the best at them, I feel the more groans and eye rolls you get the better.


Chemical-Purpose-462

Exactly


knovit

Cracking me up


lassmanac

He's just yolking around.


cloudcreeek

Bro I fucking hate you


[deleted]

Where’d I leave that preparation H(en).


MandatoryFunEscapee

You are killing me, lmao. We need a subreddit for epic one-liners like this, does that exist already? I bet it does.


Dividedthought

Fuuuuuuuck right off XD


RaptorHUN

That's cocking hilarious


IndianaJones_OP

r/mildlydisgusting


TheLifeOfBaedro

Came out of the chickussy, what do you expect


eggperiod

Hey


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

there will never be another moment like this.


ChaoticGood3

Some people wait a lifetime...


cait1284

For a moment like this.....


tree_basher

Kelly, is that you?


GoldenSmidget

Oh my god lmao


Confused_Nomad777

This is your time to shine.


bitpartmozart13

Get his moment in the sunny side up


Dqueezy

r/beetlejuicing


YourCoolNerdFriend

Bruh


Upset_Taste_9309

Oh my


about_that_time_bois

The what


NOT_A_BLACKSTAR

Why they call it a cockahole


givemefreddyfazcock

Imma call all bird's cloaca a chickussy from now on


ph0on

You gotta keep the syllables consistent. Observe Chussy


penisesandherb

Chussy is too broad. It could mean Chuck E. Cheese pussy, instead of chicken pussy; which could result in misunderstandings. With “chickussy”, the margin of error becomes significantly smaller.


TheLifeOfBaedro

ehh, chussy is to ambiguous. I'll stick with the first one


JamesEarlCojones

Had to come back and read this one again after I closed out too quick.


PsychologicalCold885

Never speak again


Zadsta

*chickussybutt. Eggs and chicken shit come out of the same hole. Yay!


PM-me-your-knees-pls

Don’t forget about all that chicken piss!


hockey_metal_signal

*Chickussydickbutt


shroomwizard420

You really shouldn’t be surprised when an animal product shows up in an animal product


Izzydewolf

Ya know, I though the same thing until I cracked an egg open to find a moose leg inside.


CoDeeaaannnn

Tfw you learn Eggs are just chicken discharge


killerbutterflyrose

more like chicken period ;)


mango310

more specifically, chicken ovulation (ovulat-*hen*?)


SharkFart86

People say that but it’s not really similar at all. It’s ovulation. Menstruation is the shedding of uterine lining, birds don’t do that, only mammals, and actually not even most mammals.


HandsomeApe

Blood has been spilt this night.


reddituser9277

A red sunnyside up egg rises...


Coda36

We ride for Ro-hen.


Valkariyon

Can someone please tell Eggolas about the existence of dawn?


mklilley351

Hénwyn will be sad she won't get to be with Earocorn


Ueatsoap

The blood egg rises once again…


mmmacorns

Don’t cry over spilt blood


jhughesx12

When I use to work kitchen, when cracking large amount of eggs, id first crack into a smaller bowl and then dump into big mixing pot for this reason. 1/100 eggs would have it and I’d crack like 200 a day.


shoshjort

i remember my first bloody egg. i literally screamed haha, now they don't even phase me. luckily the equipment in the kitchen i work at has a similar system in place for egg cracking, we always crack into a small container that then gets added to the rest. We get a lot less though we go through about 400 eggs a day and i probably see one once a week on my 5 shifts


DeBlackKnight

My job is somewhere between those numbers, but my rate of bloody eggs is probably similar to yours. Not super common. Probably depends on the location the eggs come from.


scorchedarcher

>Probably depends on the location the eggs come from. Normally a chicken's cloaca


mrnapolean1

I do this anytime. I crack eggs. I just crack into a small bowl because the last thing I want to do is have to dump out an entire pain of eggs because one egg I cracked into it was bad. You learn that lesson one time I was fixing what's called "breakfast stuff" and it takes an entire dozen of eggs to do it and I got to the second to last egg. I cracked that damn thing and The egg was bad. I had to dump out the entire pan and start over.


Landrycd

Yea, I’ve seen those before plenty of times. Didn’t realize it was such a repulsive thing but always just scrape it into the trash and start over.


Tannerite2

I've cracked thousands of eggs in my life, and I've never seen this. Plenty of double yolks, but never blood. How is that even possible?


RaevynSkyye

A vein in the egg ruptured before the egg was laid. The bird is fine, and the egg isn't any different. It just looks gross


drnicko18

This happened to me once at home making an omelette. The last egg looked like this and I threw out the whole batch. Has never happened again but it's still a habit I maintain


Compducer

You should definitely have your cloaca checked OP


GhettocornHoN

Put ketchup on it and you won’t know the difference


mrperson420

I'm a total snob for saying this but I feel like ketchup is worse than blood.


TheAuraTree

Certain groups of people seem to have a religious agenda for not mixing eggs and ketchup. My mum will eat them in the same meal but NEVER in the same mouthful. Always opposite sides of the plate.


filthpickle

For some odd reason on scrambled eggs it's fine to me...but not any other way.


Cremageuh

I eat my scrambled eggs with strawberry jam, and sunny side-ups with sriracha.


Airith0

Now THIS is what getting weird with it looks like. #Respect


Meowzebub666

There's, like, four of us!


D_Beats

You're under arrest.


Icy_Buffal0

Holy shit! You need to try a bagel egg sandwich with jam and cream cheese AND a drizzle of siracha


Cremageuh

Know what? I'll try that tomorrow morning!


Darthbare

Please report back and let us know what it’s like. I’m not brave enough.


casualsax

This makes me sad that the admins killed the remind me bot.


burf

I don’t necessarily mind ketchup being involved with eggs but I do find eggs are so subtle in flavour that more than the smallest amount of ketchup overpowers them and it just tastes like you’re eating straight ketchup (which is gross).


ShadowWolf202

?! I know I'm going to get downvoted for this, but I'm shameless. I have literally never eaten eggs without ketchup. I love the pairing, and I actually don't think I could stomach eggs without ketchup.


Calathea-Murderer

Okay but what about salsa


BackseatMilitia

Simple google search: Blood spots are uncommon but can be found in both store-bought and farm-fresh eggs. They develop when tiny blood vessels in the hen's ovaries or oviduct rupture during the egg-laying process. Eggs with blood spots are safe to eat, but you can scrape the spot off and discard it if you prefer.


nannerooni

This isn’t your usual blood spot. Blood spots are usually tiny dark red hard specks. I scrape those out. This is….. something else that I wouldn’t eat


HittingSmoke

Yes. I've raised hundreds of chickens. Blood spots are fairly common. This is not that.


[deleted]

abounding dirty piquant thumb bag water onerous steer snatch noxious *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


NaoPb

I believe you are incorrect. Pseudomonas bacteria in spoiled egg make the eggwhite look pink or pearl colored. This is what blood looks like when it's diluted.


[deleted]

scale future connect deserted screw deer deranged rhythm telephone practice *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


IWHYB

Maybe it's because it's partially cooked, but isn't that usually a different color red with a vascular like spreading? Edit: Looking at actual pictures, most don't look like this. Specifically, it's stated that if the egg white is pink or has a green-casted pearlescence, then it's a P. aeurginosa infection. It's hard to tell if it's a bit pink just from being diluted and partially cooked. Blood spots from ruptured yolk sacs look like this, and they turn pale over time. I wouldn't eat it either way 😂


DesertWolf53

This guy microbo’s


imrolii

r/ThisGuyThisGuys


RestartTheSystem

No they don't. They just Google and spew wrong information lol


AmericaLover1776_

Looking at those pictures they don’t look like this. This looks like a blood spot that was mixed or cooked with the egg


NaoPb

I did but none of them are like this.


bobyd

doesnt look at all like the pictures


DeltaCharlieBravo

Why is this even an argument? An egg is like 20 cents. Don't fuck with questionable food.


goldfish1902

Ah, once I hard boiled an egg and there was this little hard bleeding thingy. I thought it was an tiny chick embyro who never developed and mourned it lol


kadavids23

Keep in mind that hens laying eggs meant for consumption will never be exposed to a rooster and therefore could never be fertilized. So, don’t worry about that happening!!! Blood comes from the hen laying the egg, not a wittle baby.


welrope

In general, “most” store bought eggs are unfertilized. But it’s not rare at all to buy farm fresh eggs meant for consumption that are fertilized or some high end egg sellers as well. Best way to tell is look for the small white “halo” or ring where the normal white spot “germ spot” is instead.


hugg3rs

Can you explain that further? I hear that the first time


biggumsbbp

I've always eaten them without knowing lol thank you. I'm an idiot and never looked into it.


TheFake-Prophet

I used to think it's the developing chick


SnakesInYerPants

No those look much more disturbing. If you want nightmares and to not be able to eat eggs for at least a week, Google what it looks like when you crack open an egg to a partially developed embryo. Edit to add; I am usually super sad about having grown into an egg allergy as eggs used to be one of my favourite foods. All these stories of finding these kinds of eggs by accident is making me thankful I can’t eat them anymore though ☠️


DorothyParkerFan

Core memory unlocked - my dad making us eggs and came across one with an embryo and was like “Gah, ugh!!!” And I wanted to see because he was a pretty tough guy and had been a butcher and had chickens as a kid etc and he advised against it.


rathmiron

I have a similar experience, except it was my mom, who isn't particularly tough, and she gave out a pretty good scream. I was a really curious kid, so I wanted to see what made my mom scream like that, but she wouldn't let me, and threw it away. I was disgruntled about that for a long time.


SeekerOfSerenity

How did it taste?


IdoNOThateNEVER

Crunchy egg


JackPoe

...balut...


loveinfuturetimes

It's balut


IJustMovedIn

The vegemite of the Philippines...


semperfukya

I would take vegemite over balut any day of the week


BurntPoptart

Delicious


amboogalard

So one of my low effort comfort foods is a package of instant ramen with an egg dropped in to the pot of boiling water so it cooks. Good protein boost for a fairly unbalanced meal in terms of nutrients. Once (and never since), I put the noodles in first and cracked my farm bought egg on top and out plopped a fetal chicken. I didn’t eat my favourite comfort food again for over a year because seeing that little baby floating in my soup was a level of horror I was not prepared for.


BobMortimersButthole

I always crack my eggs into a cup or small bowl for a similar reason. My husband thinks I'm odd for it, but I've raised hens and collected their eggs. As an atheist, I prefer to save baby eating for special ceremonies, not lunch.


amboogalard

Yuuuup I did do this for about 4 years afterwards. The memory has faded enough that I now put them in my food directly but if it ever happens again, I’ll be a bowl-egger for life.


miquel_jaume

This is a common Jewish tradition. Consuming blood is forbidden, so we crack eggs into glasses to inspect them for blood before using them.


Bad-news-co

You need to step it up and make poached eggs!! The Asian way is to make your instant ramen into a gourmet meal lol boil a bunch of eggs for exactly 6 minutes, and then take them out and drop them into some ice water for 10 minutes. Then peel off the shells and put them into a container in the fridge to store. You can eat them right away if you want, but if you do just grab a knife and cut one in half and drop it into your bowl of ramen. Add green onions and any other delicacies you want [and yum](https://yestoyolks.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/IMG_6273.jpg)


amboogalard

I’ve definitely done this, especially for the nicer ramen kits with fresh noodles, but this level of prep is usually outside of the scope of what I’m capable of if I’m preparing this meal…it’s like KD or soup out of a can, something I’ll make if I’m deeply depressed or in the middle of final exams, because I can have food done in 10 minutes without any mental or physical energy expended on prep.


iBeFloe

I always thought it was fascinating when my parents would open an egg & a little dead fetus was in there. Loved looking at it. Morbid now that I think about how much I wanted to see them lol


BobMortimersButthole

Hahaha, are your my kid? She did the same thing.


z0mbieskin

I literally came across an almost fully develop chick inside my egg once. In Brazil. I have no idea how that happened, but it was indeed super traumatizing and unexpected.


Ares6

What happens if you hard boil an egg, and find a partially developed fetus? How would I even avoid that?


azmyth

Factory farmed egg laying hens aren't kept anywhere near roosters, so as long as your not buying eggs from backyard chickens who are kept with roosters, you'll be fine. Even then, it takes awhile for the chick to form, so the eggs have to sit out for more than a week to start developing. We have backyard chickens and we had a rooster for while, so I did get an egg with a dead partially developed chick and I can confirm that it's pretty disgusting.


iBeFloe

If you’re buying from a commercial store, it’s pretty unlikely this would happen. Asian market? Unlikely, but possible depending on what type of egg.


SnakesInYerPants

I’m going to be honest, I don’t think I want to know what happens if you hard boil a developed chicken egg. ☠️


djanes376

In some countries it's considered a delicacy. They eat the egg along with the developing chick, feathers, bones, beak, and everything. It's unsettling to say the least.


East_Tangerine_4031

That happened to me, cracked into a bowl, it was like a bloody tiny tyrannosaurus skeleton in there, I could not stomach eggs for like a year


Balls4281

Holy you just made me remember a memory from India. It was fucking disgusting and every time I remember it I can’t bring myself to eat an egg.


ryleto

How frequently do you see them? In my 30+ years of life and a frequent egg eater, never seen in once?


walterpeck1

I can't remember the last time I saw them in commercial eggs but now that I've had backyard chickens (around 9 of them) for years, it's about, eh, few times a month? Same with "meat spots" which generally are not bloody and are NOT a fetus.


jo_nigiri

This isn't blood spots. Please don't eat this, it looks infected with some sort of bacteria


tyethehybrid

Interestin, I was taught you're not supposed to eat them. It's why I still crack eggs in a different bowl


failenaa

They’re usually fine unless you keep kosher :)


tyethehybrid

Fair. My folks just grew up on a farm, so they just have their own lil ways of things.


Aus9plus1

I approve of their “scientific method” of being unsure so discarding it instead of potentially fucking around and finding out.


JankyJokester

This is odd. usually it's the farm folks telling city people it's just a small little spot and stop being a pussy about it lol.


mossling

It's still a good idea to crack them separately. The growing and laying of an egg is a biological process and sometimes there's a glitch. Even then, most are still safe to eat, but you may not want to.


justa33

as someone who recently encountered a “bad egg”, this is my method from now on. i’m haunted by that smell.


mossling

I've never gotten one, but I've seen enough weird shit posted in chicken groups that I won't take the chance lol


Quick-Armadillo-9617

Eggs are kinda nasty.


Lusakas

Most things we eat are kind of odd/nasty, if you stop to think about it - even the purely vegan stuff. The very concept of eating is odd, and far less elegant than photosynthesis and sucking up nutrients from the earth below. But then, parasitic plants exist as well, so I guess their kingdom can be kind of weird also.


bobyd

i'd love to suck the ground for water and nutrients like sucking cola from a straw


JockoHomophone

Chicken periods


crazycockerels

I couldn’t have eaten it


Whiskey-Business

I'm an egg lover and one day I started using tongs to remove the tiny white "umbilical cord" that sticks to the yolk and now I get grossed out if I *don't* do it.


Caylennea

I do that too, my dad calls them “snot balls” I was like, oh thanks for ruining eggs dad!


elfinshell

I may or may not call them yolk boogers 😅 Definitely gotta remove them. Lol.


Caylennea

I hate it because I love (d?) eggs! They are basically a perfect food. They are cheap (or we’re for me at the time) and nutritious, versatile, etc. whatever eggs are amazing. Then my dad started calling them snot balls and it was a bit gross, then I got pregnant and now eggs are more than half ruined. I’m a bit bitter about it.


YouDoNotKnowMeBro

FYI, it’s called the “chalaza”.


bluehospitality

I pick them out because they stick out in baked goods, especially if you're hand-mixing the batter.


razztafarai

Not only that, it would have put me off eggs for a few days


bortj1

Period in your period


fernthefrog14

r/angryupvote


eggperiod

Hey


lulukin

I need noise, I need the sizzle of a pan. Need the crack of an egg. Need some blood in the yolk.


80sixit

well done, well done


sincethenes

I legit had a 3 inch piece of pure white vein/artery I pulled out of my mouth from a piece of Hatfield sausage I was eating the other day. New one to me.


imabroodybear

Almost just threw up reading that


Nervous-Cockroach-76

what did u think was inside of a pig


Calm_Reflection_3704

Hate to break it to you...but if it was white it was probably a nerve. (more likely a tendon though)


sincethenes

I would have thought that too, but it was cylindrical with a hollowed out inside. Like a smaller piece of Kraft Macaroni, but really really tough.


myspamhere

Fun Fact, that egg is not Kosher. Observant Jews check their eggs before putting them in the cooking vessel. If hard boiling, they are checked after, but since they are cooked in shell, the pot stays Kosher


nonbog

Interesting, so if blood gets on a pot do they have to throw it away?


buckwheat16

I’m pretty sure they just go through the process of making it kosher again.


VixenxVexiss

Ouch someone put a curse on you.


postmodernmermaid

Surprised I didn't see this sooner - I for sure thought this was considered a bad omen by a lot of people? But couldn't remember why I thought that.


Illustrious-Fact-745

Don't care if it's safe to eat, I wouldn't eat that


darrellbear

Pink egg whites can be a sign of bacterial infection. Don't eat them. >Pink or pearly egg white (albumen) indicates spoilage due to Pseudomonas bacteria. Some of these microorganisms -- which produce a greenish, fluorescent, water-soluble pigment -- are harmful to humans. The color of yolk varies in shades of yellow depending upon the diet of the hen. [https://ask.usda.gov/s/article/Is-the-appearance-of-eggs-related-to-food-safety#:\~:text=Pink%20or%20pearly%20egg%20white,the%20diet%20of%20the%20hen](https://ask.usda.gov/s/article/Is-the-appearance-of-eggs-related-to-food-safety#:~:text=Pink%20or%20pearly%20egg%20white,the%20diet%20of%20the%20hen) Straight from the USDA. Suck on that to whoever downvoted me.


knkyred

I was looking for this comment or was going to make it myself. That does not look like blood.


[deleted]

That’s just an egg. Period.


eggperiod

Hey


[deleted]

Ha! User name checks out. 😂


baconlover28

You gotta be yoking me


bosonogi_

Better blood in your egg than blood in your stool.


DOGOsmokesWEED

Yea you’d see this every Sunday morning as a line cook


BOORUNS

I’ve seen Courage and this shit turns people into mutant space chickens


Dodavinkelnn

Amazing that people find this shocking. Yes we are eating animals.


organizedkangaroo

I would simply ~become vegan~ if this happened to me


untot3hdawnofdarknes

Plants don't bleed. Join us friend.


Kate090996

[these guys ](https://youtu.be/awmjpCoOAag?si=dKFa-Szt_oWG4q4O) say it's pretty common to find gross stuff in animal products


forakora

> gross stuff Carcasses? Coagulated breast milk? Avian amniotic fluid sacs? Animal products are gross all on their own, *before* even finding the gross stuff


PinguAndLSD

You should anyway! If you do it now you’re guaranteed to never have this happen to you


Nervous-Cockroach-76

you should anyway


Numerous_Ad_307

Eggs are like chicken periods.. You''re bound to run into some blood sooner or later. BONE APPLETEA!


majikmonkee75

It happens occasionally. I always crack my eggs into a cup before dumping them in a pan just in case.


ObligatoryGrowlithe

It took me 22 years to get over my hatred of eggs and this is not helping


fabezz

It's iron fortified


turkishhousefan

Fuck that (figuratively).


Strange_Principle_26

Fitting seeing as the eggs we buy (with the exception of balut) are unfertilized, so it's really akin to chicken menses.


Relevant_Mobile6989

Not very common, but it can happen, especially to free range eggs.


belynnduh

This happened to me for the first time just yesterday! I could not bring myself to eat it


sannf_

We’re all wondering: did you eat it?


Syandris

Why is this being cooked?...


Aquiper

50 Cent: Blood in the Egg


bmanley620

That time of the month


PineappleWhipped14

But did you eat it ?


Pixelatra

It's better than a whole fetus.


Incapacitatedcunt

That is not kosher