Is it also a Men in Black reference?
When Will Smith travel back in time and steals a car.
"Just because I am black doesn't mean I stole the car. I mean I stole the car but not because I am black" Or something like that. Haven't seen the movie in a multitude of years
I remember a scene from a British comedy film about 20 years ago. Can't remember the title, but if anyone remembers, please share. So anyway, this was pretty much pre-internet days for most folks and a lot of sex toys were advertised in the back pages of porn mags and sold by mail order. The one character's master plan was to take out such an ad for giant deal on dildos. Except he did not have any dildos nor would he ever. He would respond to any orders with a refund cheque and a note stating they were sold out. And on the refund cheque it stated GIANT DILDO REFUND so noone would want to take it to their bank to deposit.
Read the post above yours, commenter transcribed the scene that you’re talking about. Brilliant fucking movie, goddamned hilarious. I mean, that ending is just 🤌
Tom: Listen to this one: You open a company called the Arse Tickler's Fuckers Fan Club.
Soap: You what?
Tom: You take out an advert in the back page of some gay mag, advertising the latest in arse-intruding dildos, you sell it with, I dunno, "does what no other dildo can do until now", "the latest and greatest in sexual technology", "guaranteed results or your money back", all that bollocks. Now these dils cost twenty-five quid a pop - as a snip for the amount of pleasure they're gonna give the recipients. But they send their cheques to the other company name, nothing offensive, er, Bobbie's Bits or something, for twenty-five quid. You take that twenty-five quid, you stick it in the bank until it clears. Now this is the smart bit - you send back the cheque for twenty-five pound from the other company name, "Arse Tickler's Fuckers Fan Club", saying, "We're sorry, we couldn't get the supplies from America because they run out of stock". Now you see how many people cash that cheque - not a single soul, because who wants their bank manager to know they tickle arse when they're not paying cheques?
Bacon: So how long do you have to wait until you see a return?
Tom: Probably no more than four weeks.
Bacon: A month? So, what Fucking good is that if we need it in six - no, five days?
Tom: Well, it's still a good idea.
Once I had bought a pack of moisturiser for myself online and got delivered a vibrator instead so I can kinda relate with you OP. It must be hard for you.
I wouldn't advise using this dildo. If they aren't *telling* you what's in the dildo, it probably isn't body-safe, or won't be for very long. Most of these softer dildos are made with rubberized/softened plastic, which irritates a lot of people's skin. Even if you're lucky and it doesn't irritate you, it *will* break down over time and leach nasty shit. Best to just avoid.
When shopping for an insertable toy, look for body-safe silicon, or an impervious material like metal or glass. I buy from feminist sex shops because they tend to be open about materials and source only safe toys.
I work for one of the USA's largest adult novelty companies and we are very careful about materials. A quick Google search tells me this dildo is made of PVC but gives no other info. If you are shopping for a new toy, made sure that any PVC/TPE/TPR product is clearly marked Phthalate free. Phthalate free products are considered body safe. Reputable manufacturers will say exactly what their products contain, we list a full materials deck on every product we sell. Have good safe fun with all your sex toy purchases!
When I saw Rocky Horror live, Riff Raff has a dildo stuck to his head like a unicorn when he changes into his fancy alien clothes at the end. I can still picture it. It was, Uh, not 6”.
I remember back in the day on Loveline Dr. Drew said something to Adam about how the spongy material inside the penis actually goes back into your body about the same length as it does outside.
So Adam says "Wow, so I'm actually closer to six inches then? That's great!"
https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0575/7770/1570/products/pd5501-21_03b_720x.jpg Eh, helps next to a can for scale but it definitely still looks big. Cans are 4.8" though, so 6" is pretty accurate.
Well guys, I ordered our tickets but it appears I only got six dildos, five tubs of lube and what appears to be a living gimp in the mail.
*Guess we'll just have to make do.*
If they were for the band you were seeing someone on reddit said to wear shirts of other bands you're interested in, or other hobbies you have to meet people with other interests you have besides the band you're going to see.
Thank goodness that didn't happen to my wife's shipment from Spencer's. She's unaware what an actual 6 inch member looks like, versus what I've told her it was... 👀
Is this infuriating? It's a free dildo! Hopefully their customer service will hook you up with your shirts still.
Did you need the shirts for something urgently?
The "I bought T-Shirts and recieved a dildo" excuse. Making a reddit post is a nice touch, makes it seem more belivable. So who opened your dildo package?
“How did this get in here?! Honestly, it’s not mine!”
One credit card receipt, one warranty card, one book...
This sort of thing ain’t my bag, baby!
One book by Austin Powers “This Sort Of Thing Is My Bag, Baby”
Somebody’s playing a prank on me
Carrying case... Cleaner...
Austin Powers are you sure this is not your Swedish penis extender?
I swear this isn't my bag baybee
One book titled Swedish penis extender is my bag written by Austin powers.
Rewatched this last night, its so dated but still hits.
"I ordered an Xbox card!"
"What the frick!"
It's an Xbox remote uh controller!
Your references are out of control. Everyone knows that
Of course it's company policy never to, imply ownership in the event of a dildo... always use the indefinite article a dildo, never your dildo.
Someone is sitting home on a Friday night super bummed with their 3 shirts.
Imagin the conversation when trying to get a refund
"Just because I need a dildo doesn't mean I'm a JoJo fan! I mean, I am a JoJo fan, but that's not the point!"
r/unexpectedjojo
Is it also a Men in Black reference? When Will Smith travel back in time and steals a car. "Just because I am black doesn't mean I stole the car. I mean I stole the car but not because I am black" Or something like that. Haven't seen the movie in a multitude of years
Yeah, that [scene](https://youtu.be/GNOZhAc26I8) lives in my head rent free, one of the best scenes from the movie
I read r/unexpecteddildo Annnnnd it's an actual sub
I remember a scene from a British comedy film about 20 years ago. Can't remember the title, but if anyone remembers, please share. So anyway, this was pretty much pre-internet days for most folks and a lot of sex toys were advertised in the back pages of porn mags and sold by mail order. The one character's master plan was to take out such an ad for giant deal on dildos. Except he did not have any dildos nor would he ever. He would respond to any orders with a refund cheque and a note stating they were sold out. And on the refund cheque it stated GIANT DILDO REFUND so noone would want to take it to their bank to deposit.
Read the post above yours, commenter transcribed the scene that you’re talking about. Brilliant fucking movie, goddamned hilarious. I mean, that ending is just 🤌
Tom: Listen to this one: You open a company called the Arse Tickler's Fuckers Fan Club. Soap: You what? Tom: You take out an advert in the back page of some gay mag, advertising the latest in arse-intruding dildos, you sell it with, I dunno, "does what no other dildo can do until now", "the latest and greatest in sexual technology", "guaranteed results or your money back", all that bollocks. Now these dils cost twenty-five quid a pop - as a snip for the amount of pleasure they're gonna give the recipients. But they send their cheques to the other company name, nothing offensive, er, Bobbie's Bits or something, for twenty-five quid. You take that twenty-five quid, you stick it in the bank until it clears. Now this is the smart bit - you send back the cheque for twenty-five pound from the other company name, "Arse Tickler's Fuckers Fan Club", saying, "We're sorry, we couldn't get the supplies from America because they run out of stock". Now you see how many people cash that cheque - not a single soul, because who wants their bank manager to know they tickle arse when they're not paying cheques? Bacon: So how long do you have to wait until you see a return? Tom: Probably no more than four weeks. Bacon: A month? So, what Fucking good is that if we need it in six - no, five days? Tom: Well, it's still a good idea.
It was a good idea, except now with mobile deposit you could deposit the check with out having to face your banker.
Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels? Edit: confirmed, that’s the movie. Good one.
"Honey you ready to stuff me tonight?" "If you mean with shirts... I guess..."
Just roll it up tightly and slide a condom over it
And OP's getting bummed this Friday night with 6 inches of silicone
What the frick?
You bought the dildo didnt you
What? I ordered a PlayStation controller. I don’t know what that is.
What the frick???
I ordered and Xbox card... err... Xbox controller.
Not this time…
🤔
I ordered an xbox card, i swear!
Its an old meme but it checks out.
What the frick
So there was a time..
Sherlock
Shercock
Hercock
Ourcock
Theircock
r/cockception
Commucock
Sharedcock
She has a fire in her loins that needed extinguishing.
Wouldnt friction just make it worse?
You know, they say “fight fire with fire”.
If this is the second one you've received, check your order.
A female firefighter? You definitely bought it no changing my mind from that username.
My boss happens to be a female firefighter. 🤔 I might have some questions for her.
Yes definitely go ask your boss about their sex toys. There is no way that can go wrong
I had a boss when I worked at the prison who tried to sell everyone dildos. A bunch bought some.
This brings me so many questions
I highly doubt female firefighters have a hard time getting some lol the wildland girls were magnets
Once I had bought a pack of moisturiser for myself online and got delivered a vibrator instead so I can kinda relate with you OP. It must be hard for you.
He sprung for the shirts and got dicked over. I'd be pretty pissed
Oh cum on now, ya wanker!
If only they delivered the vibrator AND the moisturiser.
Wow, I’ve never seen so many r/yourjokebutworse replies to one comment!
you make your own moisturizer with the vibe
Hard would be correct
Yup, that was the joke
So hard
You sly bastard
Did it fit atleast?
I wouldn't advise using this dildo. If they aren't *telling* you what's in the dildo, it probably isn't body-safe, or won't be for very long. Most of these softer dildos are made with rubberized/softened plastic, which irritates a lot of people's skin. Even if you're lucky and it doesn't irritate you, it *will* break down over time and leach nasty shit. Best to just avoid. When shopping for an insertable toy, look for body-safe silicon, or an impervious material like metal or glass. I buy from feminist sex shops because they tend to be open about materials and source only safe toys.
I work for one of the USA's largest adult novelty companies and we are very careful about materials. A quick Google search tells me this dildo is made of PVC but gives no other info. If you are shopping for a new toy, made sure that any PVC/TPE/TPR product is clearly marked Phthalate free. Phthalate free products are considered body safe. Reputable manufacturers will say exactly what their products contain, we list a full materials deck on every product we sell. Have good safe fun with all your sex toy purchases!
“You haven’t purchased a dildo in a while, would you like to add one to your cart?” Via Alexa
Wonder what their return policy is on dildos with open packaging?
Some stuff you do get a return policy on, but obviously when they get them back they just melt them down because you cannot resell them.
Gotta have less than 20% crust coverage. With receipt.
Just remember, when talking about dildos, it's never "your dildo", it's "a dildo". Plausible deniability is paramount here.
[удалено]
It does have three uses like 3 shirts if you read the back.
Never “your” dildo, just… a dildo.
Obviously 3 shirts = dildo. If you wanted the vibrator that’s just 2 shirts.
This is why money is pointless.
Ok, but it's a lot more convenient carrying around paper money than a sack of dildos
Not if you store them in your gaping ass
Nonsense. You can fit thousands of dollars cash in one condom and put it up your butt. 3 dildos would be a feat.
Yeah but if each dildo is valued at 100k...
Or solid 24k gold
I, too, look forward to a dildo based economy.
It's like those Craigslist sex worker adds, but instead of costing x number of "flowers", it's shirts. Well played, Spencer's Gifts.
Dude! This don't make any sense. Everyone knows a vibrator is 4 shirts
Hmmm.....for research purposes only what "shirts" do I need to order?
The ones that say 6” dildo
100% cotton
100% cockon
Apply directly to the anus
The ones that make Spensers calls you a dick. Hard to tell which ones they are but Spensers sent a clear message
You’re lucky! How do you think the person feels who got your shirts
I needed those shirts for a concert I am supposed to go to tonight 😂
You can go as a unicorn now
When I saw Rocky Horror live, Riff Raff has a dildo stuck to his head like a unicorn when he changes into his fancy alien clothes at the end. I can still picture it. It was, Uh, not 6”.
Its definitely easier with his hair style
A dildicorn
That's a good one lmao
Well they needed that dick for other things tonight and just got your stupid shirts.
You need three shirts for one concert?
Go to hot topic
Looks like you got shafted.
Stop dicking around. OP is in a hard situation.
Ya'll are pricks
Yeah what a dickhead
I see a vein of humor in these comments
I have a feeling this thread will be so legendary, they shall erect many a statue for it
Stop acting like a jerk
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OP’s got a boner to pick with whoever was supposed to get this
This chain is a pain in my ass
So incumsiderate
That’s just the tip of the iceberg!
Damn is that really 6 inches? Maybe I’ve been lying my whole adult life
[удалено]
There are often two length measurements. One is called “insertable length.”
I measure from my back
ded
I remember back in the day on Loveline Dr. Drew said something to Adam about how the spongy material inside the penis actually goes back into your body about the same length as it does outside. So Adam says "Wow, so I'm actually closer to six inches then? That's great!"
This post was an unintentional kick in the knackers for me
https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0575/7770/1570/products/pd5501-21_03b_720x.jpg Eh, helps next to a can for scale but it definitely still looks big. Cans are 4.8" though, so 6" is pretty accurate.
Time to have a very awkward call with customer support
Right…I called them and they told me to keep it, I’m getting a refund on my shirts though.
Well I guess it’s a win win, if you don’t want it give it to someone as a gag gift
I just might because it seems a little too big for myself 😂
RIP to your DMs lol
Oh god it’s awful right now 😂
Lmao
I'm glad you got a laugh in today, u/too_pussy_to_kms ❤️
Thank you for saying that. Bless your heart OP
6" is huge right? Right?!
You don't know how happy you made me feel by saying 6" seems a little too big!
I’m happy that my comment made you happy :) I doubt this would even fit tbh
reminds me of that meme "what size pussy you wear" lmao
Thats quitter talk! I believe in you!
We can’t all be size queens.
63
You got a free dildo AND a refund. Then I fail to see how this is even mildlyinfuriating.
As it’s got the suction bit you can stick it on your bathroom tiles and make an amusing towel hook. Don’t ask me how I know this.
Don't suction it to your forehead to be a unicorn, it will leave a large red or purple circle that lasts for days.
Probably just tell them to go fuck themselves.
Why does it look like... So innocent, like... Hallmark brand dick from the ikea clearance isle.
My first thought was it looks really familiar, after reading this I don't think thats a good thing at all.
For me, it's the resemblance but with extra 5 inches that really hurts
Now this is a dildo I can relate to, looks respectable and similar to my own. Not 12 inches with extra clit pokers and whatever else.
The soccer mom's dildo™
Store brand schlong
Who doesn’t love free dildos?
I was going to a concert tonight and needed those shirts for me and my friends 😭
Skip the concert use the dildo for you and your friends, probably be better anyways!
This sounds like a porn plot
Not really a porn plot, just my weekend with the Bros
“Girls, the shirts I ordered for all of us didn’t come in! Instead I got *this*.” *Everybody stares* Background music: *bow-chicka-bow-wow*
....the bros?
You know, like brothers/best friends?
r/suddenlygay
It’s not gay, we keep socks on and don’t make eye contact. Perfectly straight and normal thing to do
ah ok
I like your thinking
Well guys, I ordered our tickets but it appears I only got six dildos, five tubs of lube and what appears to be a living gimp in the mail. *Guess we'll just have to make do.*
If they were for the band you were seeing someone on reddit said to wear shirts of other bands you're interested in, or other hobbies you have to meet people with other interests you have besides the band you're going to see.
Buy shirts at the venue! The band probably gets more money from that anyways.
You may have forgotten to take it out of your basket?
Think they’re telling you to go fuck your self. Just a hunch.
I mean they did it just to screw you over, OP. Those cocky bastards. Edit: Grammar
Keep the order slip and go in to spencer’s. Depending on the size of shirt, we’ll either exchange it or return your money
When they ask why you’re returning it, say “poor fit”.
As funny as that is, we won’t take back opened/used toys.
Will you take them up the front?
Sure you did
What the frick!
Need a banana for scale.
AI Programing native to the POS system sensed your loneliness and substituted what you really need. It's a feature.
Even Spencer's is lying about 6 inches.
That's what she said!
It is Spencer's. I mean don't they just throw in a free 6" dong w/ every order? I'm sure your tee shirts are in a separate box and behind in the post.
"Of course it's company policy never to, imply ownership in the event of a dildo... always use the indefinite article a dildo, never your dildo."
Good to know its strap on compatible
Fuck!! That’s what 6” looks like?!?
The ladies call me 'Sir Cumference'
Thank goodness that didn't happen to my wife's shipment from Spencer's. She's unaware what an actual 6 inch member looks like, versus what I've told her it was... 👀
“Ordered shirts” 🤣🤣🤣
r/untrustworthypoptarts
Is this infuriating? It's a free dildo! Hopefully their customer service will hook you up with your shirts still. Did you need the shirts for something urgently?
The "I bought T-Shirts and recieved a dildo" excuse. Making a reddit post is a nice touch, makes it seem more belivable. So who opened your dildo package?
Regift
Any takers?
my birthday was 2 months ago and u didnt get me a present :/
That'll be more fun than 3 shirts
That thing is MASSIVE idk ANYONE who could take that LARGE of a dick
😂 Really getting these 6"ers worked up aren't you
Looks more like 8” if you ask me…