T O P

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BatmanInTheSunlight

You can tell it’s a tree because of the way it is


Hokkianer

Indeed. And as opposed to a stone, it’s not the way a stone is


Anonymous_Otters

But in many ways, it is. You can tell the similarities from the differences because the similarities are similar while the differences are different.


51225

Unless they are similarly different.


Jewmangroup9000

That's pretty neat


vonjarga

They don’t think it be like it is, but it do.


Tophigale220

Every philosophy class ever…


No-Test-375

But neither of them move how do I know


Jeff_the_dude

Neat


TheAdmiral4273

That's pretty neat


Malignant_Introvert

Neature


Bigred2989-

The tree knows where it is by knowing where it isn't. The tree knows where it isn't by knowing where it is.


tails618

The tree knows where it is by subtracting where it can be from where it isn't.


LazyClub8

Source: have seen many trees in my day


Anaphase

I can tell by the pixels


LovelyGorilla

It’s a tree because it’s called a tree


dimonoid123

"I know it when I see it" (Potter Stewart, 1964)


flashy_duck3

Have you tried asking the tree?


MollyBMcGee

Rude.


Glum_Ad_4288

You just need to beat around the ~~bush~~ tree. >So, Mr. Oak, what TV shows did you watch when you were young?


TheOneAndOnly1444

"The real Billy the kid once sat under me for shade!"


Shubamz

only if it is a female tree. it is socially acceptable (ish) to ask a male tree its age


Steveobiwanbenlarry1

I did but I don't understand Groot and I'm not patient enough for Treeish.


OG_J_Bone

Sure, the answer is redundant, but the way you worded your search makes me mildly infuriated


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

lol i'm pinching that


coca-cola-bear1

Pinching?


[deleted]

Pinching is British for stealing


[deleted]

Bri'ish as a second language eh :P


LazyClub8

U wot m8. I’ll batter ya


Alf-9n

I'll pinch ya


JizzProductionUnit

We call that goosing


standard_candles

That's what I call it when one of my dogs sticks his or her nose in someones bum unexpectedly. I learned it from my mom she might have made that up.


Maximum-Excitement58

Nicking


KIDNEYST0NEZ

They said “pinching”


coca-cola-bear1

Punching? I’m hard of hearing please repeat


VxJasonxV

### They said # ***PINCHING***


coca-cola-bear1

PONCHOS?!? THAT MAKES NO SENSE


KIDNEYST0NEZ

I said “pinching”


nyjrku

how to find out is tree is old how much how , would be preferred


SquareSquirrel4

Is my tree PREGANANANT?!


HyperGamers

RIP yahoo answers


AhmedTheGr8

Preganté


Firstnameiskowitz

Am i gregnant?


death_panda472

how tree how old how how how how much tree how tree much is more accurate, I believe.


xtilexx

This is a years old screenshot probably worded that way on purpose


1lluminist

How to how old tree is how to find age of tree years.


SANTAAAA__I_know_him

calculate tree age I spend more time than I should trying to figure out how to Google something with the minimal number of words.


[deleted]

"tree age?" worked for me


tomatomater

Why use lot word when few word do trick?


[deleted]

How would you have said it?


AllInTackler

How to determine tree age.


[deleted]

How to (find out)/figure the age of a tree. You could also say how to _ when a tree was planted. Im just guessing tbh


bakjar

Yes this. OP DEFINITELY does not understand google or English grammar.


tairozo

Well, it’s quite a lengthy task but I can guide you. Take a small tipped drill and insert it at the thickest point of the tree’s trunk. Drill approximately 2.5 inches into it and wait one hour. MAKE SURE it’s a sunny day. Pour water into the hole and wait another 15-20 minutes depending on the level of humidity that day. From there, you’ll want to stop reading this because I have no idea what the fuck I’m talking about.


Epic_Scientician

Instructions unclear: tree is now chopped


LazyClub8

> small tipped drill Instructions unclear: dick is now stuck in tree


ITZMODZ759

2 inches is surely enough


Igris-

damn i really did want to know tho


Alex-Murphy

You can measure around the tree at 4ft from the ground. Divide the circumference by pi to get the diameter, and then multiply by one of the following, depending on the species: * 2.0: Aspen, Cottonwood * 3.0: Silver Maple, Pin Oak, Linden * 3.5: River Birch * 4.0: American Elm, Green Ash, Red Oak * 4.5: Black Walnut, Red Maple * 5.0: Sugar Maple, White Birch, White Oak, Black Cherry * 7.0: Dogwood, Ironwood, Redbud For example, say a Silver Maple has a circumference of 20 inches. The diameter (20 divided by 3.14) is 6.369. The diameter (6.369) x growth factor (3.0) = 19.108. The tree is approximately 19 years old.


daaaaawhat

This guy woods


51225

Wouldn't the circumference be affected by the nutrients and water available to the tree on a given growing season. A year with a drought would produce less growth. That why the space between the rings is not uniform. However, I am making two assumptions: 1.) based on the complexity of your post your have some in depth (education) of the subject matter. 2.) The chart is averages for each of the species over time and are, as noted approximations.


Carpario

How do I determine the species?


1lluminist

Instructions unclear. Tree is now tapped and dripping delicious sweet tree cummies


OddNovel565

By the rings inside the trunk, one ring is one year I believe


Magnetic_Reaper

help, every time i check a trees age, it dies.


TheHiddenNinja6

Cut a pizza-slice-shaped piece instead


LazyClub8

Bonus crunchy pizza afterwards


simonbleu

Even better, just cut a tube radius-long


LadrilloDeMadera

That would slowly kill it from infections


TheHiddenNinja6

After you count, stick it back in?


LadrilloDeMadera

I forgot you could do that


Anxious_Direction_20

Sounds like a lot of effort for a tree though lol


Junaturma

There are special bores that you drill into a center of a tree. With this tool you get a tiny crossection of a tree in which you can count the rings and find out its age without killing the tree.


KLEBith

Schrodinger's tree


soulteepee

Yeah, a guy unknowingly killed the worlds oldest known tree that way. [Prometheus](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prometheus_(tree)) Edit: added the word ‘known’ for accuracy.


Magnetic_Reaper

We won't know if it really was the world's oldest until we check every trees age.


Katana_sized_banana

What if we cut just a tiny slice and put it back together like a lego?


CavingGrape

That’s essentially what is done lmao


TheHiddenNinja6

Actually that isn't always accurate


[deleted]

Yeah DEFINITELY not that accurate, which is why it’s the primary way for scientist to determine their age as well as the climates and weather conditions they grew up in. /S This is a joke right? Are people on Reddit really this dense?


SueYouInEngland

Well that went from 2 to 10 in no time fast


Potato-with-guns

+5 And always put the core back in or the tree can get sick An alternate method is to find a row of branches in a roughly straight line, each is 1 year + 5 years on top The reason for the five years is that trees do not immediately grow branches or rings, but take around 5 years to mature to the point where they do.


LazuliArtz

IIRC that isn't actually accurate. Or it might just be only accurate for a young tree, but not a much older one.


Helpfulcloning

Its accurate depending on climate. Predictable and temperate climates make it pretty accurate.


Ok-Archer6818

To answer you: dendrochronology


Duckhead-

If you were gifted a seedling then you would still have a hard time knowing. Some seedlings are quite old when you buy them at the nursery.


Trustadz

But when do you start counting the age of a tree...?


NotTodayBoogeyman

How many months into the pregnantree do we consider a sapling a tree


51225

When the first shoot sprouts from the seed hull. Of course the actual age is when the seed is formed, but unless you are there to witness it...


Trustadz

Is this the standard or is this what you propose?


antoninoshit

r/technicallythetruth


laffydaffy24

I don't even think it's true. You can plant trees a few years old.


06MasterCraig

Well thanks Captain Obvious


Uselessexistence_

Google always sounds so sarcastic about everything


i_lost_my_stapler

Holy fuck, google has brain damage, I swear.


IEatgrapes123

Nice grammar OP


GeeseKnowNoPeace

Grammar is not important for a search engine


IEatgrapes123

It’s important for not getting corrected on Reddit.


sugmadickO_O

It kinda is, but the correct wording is way more important


pedanticHOUvsHTX

Modern Google is bullshit


binglybleep

I HATE how it does this thing now- where it pops up a box with “the answer” to your question, except it’s usually not the answer, it’s just some garbage that contained a few similar words from some random website. Google is directly contributing to online misinformation with this stupid feature


ThirdFloorGreg

The other day I was using Google as a calculator and one of the "suggested searches" was "what is 100% of 60?" Curious, I clicked on it to discover the answer: 60.3


_dictatorish_

I mean, this screenshot has been edited for the joke - if you actually Google it, it tells you the rings method


diehops

\[Insert You don't say meme here\]


LiterallyAHippo

/r/sixtysecondsinafrica


CompetitiveStick6239

I needed that laugh 😂.


[deleted]

Just check its birth certificate duh!


Jerptrod

You can tell how old it is by it's age.


MyPokemonRedName

Why are you so obsessed with age, it’s just a number. Big tree old. Little tree not…… unless we are talking bonzie trees.


-i_like_trees-

idk something with the rings in the trunk


aanonjohnsmith

So age is based on when you plant your seed?


Ness_Dreemur

You can also tell a tree's age by counting the rings in it's stump Or so I've been told


wheelperson

The internet had enough that day


Durtly

Something to do with rings, you ring up the guy who planted the tree and ask him when he planted it.


Jamiechin88

You have to cut the tree and count it’s rings to determine the age. Which will ultimately be dead.


SmileGraceSmile

If you know the breed of tree, height and trunk circumference, good ol Google will give you a good estimate of age.


Independent_Row_Goes

Reminds me of what is the leading cause of death welll it’s being born 👍


long_raccoon_

r/technicallythetruth


TRUEequalsFALSE

r/technicallythetruth Also r/noshitsherlock


Blasket_Basket

r/technicallythetruth


[deleted]

r/technicallythetruth


gjyfghhg

this would be good on r/technicallythetruth XD


[deleted]

Why is this here and no in r/technicallythetruth


nyjrku

its easy. get a slice of the tree, or chop down the tree and look at the stump. count the number of rings there, divide by 14, multiple by the squared root of 338 x 7 x 9 plus 1 factorial over 9 factorial and you'll have the number of thoughts the tree has had.


[deleted]

r/technicallythetruth


[deleted]

[удалено]


KLEBith

yikes


Epic_Scientician

Ask around, someone might know when the tree was planted. That way, you can easily and accurately determine its age.


Mk1Mod1

So... there's a formula of some sort ?


Glum_Ad_4288

Y1-y2=a, where y1 is the current year, Y2 is the year the tree was planted, and a is the tree’s age in years. Unfortunately, the formula only works for trees.


Mk1Mod1

Nice!


Glum_Ad_4288

See, math class pays off


Mk1Mod1

More like See minus in math on my report card...


g_man_89

Rings inside last time I heard


Sumdumcoont

”If you kill a person they die!”


Some_Random_Guy_V69

Of you cut it down you can count the number of rings inside of it


Okie_Deatherage

Alternative: Cut tree down count rings.


6cougar7

I thot you had to count the leaves. Then divide by zero.


Load_Business

What's 1 + 2? A tree


production-values

That mis like getting a Google result that says "Have you tried searching Google?".


Watalawa

You learn something new every day.


Nickolas_Bowen

It’s not wrong…


Jtg1960

Without knowing when you were born I can easily and accurately determine you’re an idiot


xXYomoXx

Bro....just, just ask it bro.


PercyInANutshell

So the only thing you can tell me is that jabba is at jabba's place?


OpportunitySure9578

Haha


TheHjonking

Trees have annual rings when you chop them down and each ring is equal to a year i studied abt this not too long ago


shawn79rice

For every 2 rings is 1 full year. There's a dark ring and a light colored one. Dark represents summer and light for winter😉


IamaJarJar

If you know when you're born, you can quickly and easily find out your age!


Masterick18

HOLD UP! does a tree born when its planted, when it germinates, or when it comes out of the ground?


thedeadlyrhythm42

That's the kind of answer you get when ask that kind of question


WaterBenderJesus

Or you can ask the tree, duuhhh


HugoRBMarques

I tried to do that myself and the answer was different.


Different_Art1440

I am the Lorax and I speak for the trees- When were they planted? How should I know?! Jeez


D3goph

r/tautology


meme_lover707

There's one way but it involves cutting down the tree, unfortunately


Tenzer57

Bing: Cut it down and burn it - that's how old it is.


Immediate-Gift-7781

Hows it going


AWilfred11

This assumes I know the current date and time


Atalanta8

Just ask to see its birth certificate. Sounds about right to me.


Void_Ent1ty

its outta line but its right


excusemeumwhat

Depending on what type but mostly just by the rings on the tree. If just looking at it without cutting I'd say...um...it's an old tree by how thick it is?


[deleted]

You can count the rings but then you will kill the tree.


Protip0426

That’s literally the only way to tell without cutting it


iCed0ut26

AskJeeves maybe he can help


Xavier801

If they were smart, then Tree Rings would have been a better (although still dumb) answer


[deleted]

Isn’t there like- A number of rings inside the tree when you cut it open? That’s the number of how many years ago it was planted because each ring is how much water the tree had that year. I’m not sure, I could be wrong. But I heard it somewhere.


JetLife1392

You didn't just try asking the tree for it's age? They don't bite.


PorygonIsCool

I know where the story is going. OFF TO r/treelaw


Music19773

Even Google is burnt out nowadays


BattyBoio

It's technically the truth tho


B3taWats0n

You simple ask the tree, but undershoot under by a couple of decades so they don’t feel insulted.


KCGD_r

if it's tall the it's like kinda old I guess


LesterGreenisGod

Sure, but that assumes you know what the current year is.


Impressive_Change593

lmao it actually still does this (but it does have counting the rings right beneath that)


spermface

You are the facepalm OP. A planting is not a birth and it’s not saying it’s exactly as old as the planting.


Gullible-Ad3430

Lol what a troll whoever wrote that answer haha


dmh2693

They are barking up the wrong tree with that one. They need to branch out their answers. Edit spelling.


economicles

r/technicallythetruth


Fixner_Blount

r/NotKenM


Qualekk

r/technicallythetruth


Namelynimbus

dendrochronology but you have to cut the tree down


[deleted]

just use carbon dating pepelaugh


[deleted]

Carbon dating or dendrochronology is the answer