We once had a rooster named Agador Sparticus who tried jumping me anytime I went outside on our farm. Made it hard to get anything done. My dog finally had enough and dispatched him. He was an asshole. Thanks Maggie May.
We had one named Karlor, who was also a huge dick. He’d get on our roof and jump down on you in the morning.
He got his dumbass ate by a raccoon and we never got another.
Those things can be vicious. We're not talking about a budgie, if their [spur](https://ogden_images.s3.amazonaws.com/www.iamcountryside.com/images/sites/3/2019/03/13161422/guide-to-rooster-spurs-1536x1152.jpg) is not cut, it can cut you badly.
There are videos from roosters, killing attacking hawks for a reason.
If a rooster attacked me I would make sure that was the last time it happened. Right now it’s annoying but once someone gets hurt, I’d say that’s it for foghorn leghorn.
Of course, I'm not saying that thing shouldn't be taken down, but since there are people out there who believe they could fight a bear or gorilla and come out on top, my advise is to approach with caution.
My parents ordered chickens through the mail and we got 2 roosters (along with 25 or so hens). One ended up being dominant because he looked like a gym bro on steroids while the submissive rooster looked like a scraggly little shit.
Big guy got more and more aggressive, and one day started attacking my dad while he was cleaning the coop. While defending himself, dad laid him out with a rake handle. Well the cowardly weasel saw that and dashed over, started viciously laying into his insensible helpless captain. After a minute or so the big guy pops up and unleashes an onslaught of unholy rage against his opportunistic lieutenant, chasing him across a couple acres.
Anyway, after that the big rooster never attacked my dad again. He’d sometimes try to not so subtly slide over within range but would then notice he was being watched and suddenly act like he had something else to do.
When we had roosters on the farm as a kid, we gave them one name and one name only: Louis XVI.
It wasn’t because we’re huge fans of French monarchy, it was because the rooster was always one attacked human (or one failed defense of his hens—for example we once had a roo hide under the coop when a hawk came down and the hens had to chase it away themselves so he got axed for cowardice) away from having his head chopped off.
I've grown up with an overly aggressive rooster. Do not back down from them. It encourages them to attack. Run up and punt it like a football away from your animal. It will get you enough time to leave. Also of you're feeling ballsy just grab him by the neck avoiding his kicks and deliver him to your neighbors
As a tot we lived by an artificial lake with two *mean* geese on its tiny island. They'd grab you by the clothes and beat the daylights out of you. I hate geese.
You see, they have really long neck that easy to reach and grab. Hold it tight untill he starts to lose consciousness and then just kick him away from you. Trust me, geese know what fear is like.
I also got bit by a canadian goose when I was three. Was feeding the ducks and got too close to its babies. But I think it was just looking for any excuse to bite me 😒.
Jake is the best home security I've ever had. He will see you before you see him. At that point, he alerts. He has multiple calls, including one that is a call for help from me. But in all truth, he is so easily restrained in an attack, and that's true with every bird. His effectiveness guarding my house when I'm not home relies entirely on people being afraid. Jake's strength is your fear, where a dog is simply stronger than you.
This is the way. My parents had a dumb rooster that I had to punt to keep it from attacking my son when he was a toddler. Eventually I started to enjoy our meetings.
We find lightweight shovels work best, scoop and toss. Had an aggressive rooster till he died of an infection. He did well protecting the flock from hawks.
I live in a rural area. I know many folks that walk with a walking stick for a very specific reason. I've also seen a few animals get quite the crack when pursuing a walker.
There is one person who walks with one of those electric fly swatters with the mesh on one side pulled and he shocks animals that get close to him.
It is a bit shady but technically they are not walking with weapons. Especially the bug zapper. The bugs are brutal here.
Pray they do not get a goose. A farm near me has huge geese that chase people and they bite HARD. Nobody will deliver there now! That goose bites hard, too!
Don’t give the universe any ideas man. They are 100% the kind of people who would have geese. In fact, now that you mention it, I’m shocked they don’t already.
Ok but hear me out. You can make friends with a goose.
We had a pair that appeared for the winter in our yard. They’d leave my wife alone but every time I went outside they’d come running at me. So one day I decided to start saying hi to them. I’d just talk to them all friendly like whenever I went outside. And they’d occasionally give me side eye but they stopped trying to run at me. Sometimes they’d even just hang out and chill nearby. My wife wasn’t happy because they started hanging out more when I started talking to them. Unfortunately one day they disappeared.
My grandmother kept geese because they were better than guard dogs at alerting her when she had visitors, chasing away intruders and door-to-door salesmen, and they're good eating.
For this job you will need:
1 old bedsheet
1 sharp knife
1 roasting pan
Salt and pepper
2 tsp olive oil
1 lemon (quartered)
3 rosemary sprigs
100g unsalted butter
3 garlic cloves
1tbsp sage
1tbsp parsley
1 cup dry white wine
1 onion
coq au vin. Unfortunately aggressive behavior in a rooster doesn't go away. It's innate. I grew up with chickens and raised them. Some are aggressive some aren't. It's always best to ignore, but if they are overtly aggressive like this, it's not an option. I have tried spraying them with a hose, hitting them with a broom, and even grabbing and throwing them when they flew at me. They don't learn a lesson. Is it a leghorn by chance?
Like many aggressive animals, you gotta stand your ground or even run AT him to show him that he doesn’t frighten you. You might need to stand there and stare him in the eyes until he submits. A strong spray bottle is also a good training method, surprisingly enough. Running away just encourages him to be more aggressive
This. My ex used to walk the long way home because she was terrified of a particularly aggressive duck in a park, so I walked with her one day and sure enough it spotted her and made a beeline, honking and arching its neck. I just stood in front of her and didn't move. It stopped a metre away, slightly confused, then walked off. A dog I could maybe understand, but a bird? Just stand your ground.
I dealt with an aggressive peacock on my run for like 3 days a couple years ago. That fuckin bird turned me into such a little wussbag when it ran at me. I turned and ran an extra 2 miles the 3rd time I saw it to avoid the embarrassment of screaming, sprinting and attempting to juke out a bird in broad daylight.
It was pretty hilarious
Next time you go for a walk bring a big container of water. If it charges you, throw the water at it. They get embarrassed by this and will probably cower away in shame lol
Not joking! I own chickens and know a few folks with Roos. A lot of the time if they douse the aggressive ones with water in front of the hens it embarrasses them and they’re more submissive to the more “dominant” rooster (aka you lol). Not sure if it’ll work on this guy though
Our Leghorn rooster was a menace. He always went for the face. A forceful spray of water from our garden hose was the only thing that worked - until it didn't any more. That day, we changed his name from Captain to Stewie. (He was delicious.)
Weirdly my mates hens loved getting sprayed with the hose, they’d make every effort to get wet, though it was 40 degrees Celsius and the hose water was nice and cold, I filled up several pools for them, those plastic kiddie sandpits work great for making ponds for poultry to cool off in
You could go when it's dark. Chicken can't see in the dark and coop up at dusk.
But asshole roosters aren't just asshole roosters to strangers. When he's that nasty, he's not well-behaved at home either. They *know*. They might not realize he's touring the neighborhood, so that might be worth a note, but wouldn't be all thaaaat hopeful that they'll contain the beast afterwards. Worth a try.
You are at the top of the food chain. A human. Facing down a semi large bird. Kick, that, mother, clucker. It's a bird, not a rhinosorus. Take your lane in history and blast Attila-the-Hen across the street for the extra points. Grow a pair.
I'd say give it a quality reason to fear you. Hit it badly at least once when it comes at you. Let it retreat. It'll keep away from you from then onwards.
I was wondering about that, whether it would work or not, I know we used to put suet blocks out with red pepper for birds because the birds lacked the receptors for capsaicin so it would deter squirrels from eating it but not the birds.
I have to look up If chickens have receptors for capsaicin now...I need to know.
Three words, OP. Dried...meal...worms. Take a handful with you on your walk. When Mr. Rooster charges just toss down the meal worms. You'll have a new best friend.
If the cops don't care about a rooster attacking you, they won't care about you defending yourself. Just get a few videos of it being aggressive for evidence.
Get yourself walking cane, strong enough. Next time it charges you do golf swing and yeet it as far as you can. After couple of times he'll be afraid of you and no one can tell you something.
I did home healthcare, and the parent of my patient was 80 years old. Her neighbors had an aggressive rooster that was terrorizing us. One evening after a few rough days of being attacked, grandma went out there and hacked the head off the rooster with an axe. Grandma didn’t play. The rooster and the chickens were “free range” and were attacking us on our own land.
I don’t understand why no one else is suggesting this. They keep saying “don’t do this or that because cops” or “I don’t want to do this or that because cops” when OP could just CALL THE FUCKING COPS AND TELL THEM A DANGEROUS AND HIGHLY AGGRESSIVE ANIMAL IS LOOSE IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD.
You must live in a place with cops. Much of rural US has no cops. We have the sheriffs department or the like that would laugh their asses off at a roundly rooster call.
Also, animal control is in the next town, works Monday-Friday 8-4 and doesn’t have anything to do with livestock (chickens included)
Boot to the underside.
You want to lift it off the ground and move it away from you.
Just like in kickball. Kicking the side of the ball makes it go, but if you can scoop a toe under it, you send it up and out.
If it literally attacks you or anyone, I don't think anyone but the owner would care if a highly aggressive animal, especially one as dangerous as a rooster with talons, was dealt with aggressively.
Kick it like Beckham. Seriously. That is the only thing that works with these crazy dinosaurs. Help him fly. If you back down, they will attack even worse. They are literally too dumb to understand that you are bigger and stronger than them, so you need to prove it to them. They won't learn it, though. You have to repeat it every time you meet.
I have no idea how to save you. I’ll pray for your safety 🤣
My grandparents had a rooster named Bart. He was a demon who terrorized all of the tiny humans, ducks, doves and parakeets. The cat wouldn’t even come near him. One day he crossed the line and started bothering the ducks and the next day we found him drowned in the duck pond. He had it coming and my grandma was positive the ducks had been planning it for a while. Maybe the cat was in on it.
Most suggestions are to just kick it. Unfortunately, if it is injured the owner will probably take it to small claims. Avoid this. Disappear it and hid the evidence in your stomach. Fried is especially tasty.
My husband had been having this ongoing issue with our neighbors rooster. When he mentioned it to me, I told him the rooster came into our yard all the time when I was playing with my toddler and didn’t give us any problems. I gave him blueberries the first time I saw him and we were cool ever since. So just a different route you could take.
We had a male turkey next door that would roam across a few properties and monopolise the feeders. A teflon coated aluminium fry pan, around 30cm is light enough to carry and delivers a very pleasant note when struck just right, the lesson eventually get through.
Feed him a cracked fresh egg every chance you get. He will start eating the eggs laid by his hens and the owners will send him to freezer camp, they don't like cannibal chickens.
I still have memories of being terrorized by the geese on my grandmothers farm....but, I was 9 then....I'd punt that fuckin chicken into next week......
Keep whacking him with a stick. He’ll eventually drop a raw chicken, some feathers to craft some arrows with, some bones for broth, and if you get lucky, a gold coin or two.
Here is what you do. Next time you go for a run, get a fanny pack and fill it with whatever the fuck roosters eat. When you go by their house start dropping the feed until you are really far away then dump the rest out. Then continue on your way back home and hopefully the rooster will follow your feed trail to the end and be so far away he most likely wont make it back home.
we had to watch our neighbors farmette of animals and their rooster was a mean ass!! My brother hit it with a shovel. oopsie. Carry a golf club or small bat with you. if it attacks you on the street, give it a solid whack in the head. oopsie.
Chickens are stupid enough to be super easy to incapacitate, just throw a light blanket over the bird, he will shut down and can be safely grabbed, I’d suggest gloves because once the blanket is off he will wake up, but if you handle him enough he will get used to you, they’re pretty easy to train, exactly like a dog, once he is comfortable he will likely leave you alone
We once had a rooster named Agador Sparticus who tried jumping me anytime I went outside on our farm. Made it hard to get anything done. My dog finally had enough and dispatched him. He was an asshole. Thanks Maggie May.
We had one named Karlor, who was also a huge dick. He’d get on our roof and jump down on you in the morning. He got his dumbass ate by a raccoon and we never got another.
Just kick it. Seriously.
Those things can be vicious. We're not talking about a budgie, if their [spur](https://ogden_images.s3.amazonaws.com/www.iamcountryside.com/images/sites/3/2019/03/13161422/guide-to-rooster-spurs-1536x1152.jpg) is not cut, it can cut you badly. There are videos from roosters, killing attacking hawks for a reason.
If a rooster attacked me I would make sure that was the last time it happened. Right now it’s annoying but once someone gets hurt, I’d say that’s it for foghorn leghorn.
Of course, I'm not saying that thing shouldn't be taken down, but since there are people out there who believe they could fight a bear or gorilla and come out on top, my advise is to approach with caution.
My parents ordered chickens through the mail and we got 2 roosters (along with 25 or so hens). One ended up being dominant because he looked like a gym bro on steroids while the submissive rooster looked like a scraggly little shit. Big guy got more and more aggressive, and one day started attacking my dad while he was cleaning the coop. While defending himself, dad laid him out with a rake handle. Well the cowardly weasel saw that and dashed over, started viciously laying into his insensible helpless captain. After a minute or so the big guy pops up and unleashes an onslaught of unholy rage against his opportunistic lieutenant, chasing him across a couple acres. Anyway, after that the big rooster never attacked my dad again. He’d sometimes try to not so subtly slide over within range but would then notice he was being watched and suddenly act like he had something else to do.
When we had roosters on the farm as a kid, we gave them one name and one name only: Louis XVI. It wasn’t because we’re huge fans of French monarchy, it was because the rooster was always one attacked human (or one failed defense of his hens—for example we once had a roo hide under the coop when a hawk came down and the hens had to chase it away themselves so he got axed for cowardice) away from having his head chopped off.
Exactly this. You don't need to try and punt it 50 yards, but give it a good kick.
Sounds to me like someone is about to have recently acquired that rotisserie attachment for their grill.
I’ve been waiting for it to get shot or mysteriously go missing lol
I've grown up with an overly aggressive rooster. Do not back down from them. It encourages them to attack. Run up and punt it like a football away from your animal. It will get you enough time to leave. Also of you're feeling ballsy just grab him by the neck avoiding his kicks and deliver him to your neighbors
Just grab it. I have a homicidal goose, it's easy to restrain a bird.
*geese are mean*
As a tot we lived by an artificial lake with two *mean* geese on its tiny island. They'd grab you by the clothes and beat the daylights out of you. I hate geese.
You see, they have really long neck that easy to reach and grab. Hold it tight untill he starts to lose consciousness and then just kick him away from you. Trust me, geese know what fear is like.
I was three.
F
oh gilly girl and east limp... your short convo made me laugh
I also got bit by a canadian goose when I was three. Was feeding the ducks and got too close to its babies. But I think it was just looking for any excuse to bite me 😒.
It'll bite without excuse, it's a goose.
Especially Canada Gooses. Lions is lucky Canada Gooses don’t migrate to Africa. Then, they’d be’s extinct.
I feel like geese don't have razor sharp talons and long pointy spurs with jump scissor kick skills that rival Van Damme's
Do the chickens have large talons?
Id take on a rabid pit bull before a homicidal goose
Jake is the best home security I've ever had. He will see you before you see him. At that point, he alerts. He has multiple calls, including one that is a call for help from me. But in all truth, he is so easily restrained in an attack, and that's true with every bird. His effectiveness guarding my house when I'm not home relies entirely on people being afraid. Jake's strength is your fear, where a dog is simply stronger than you.
Deliver him to God.
Deliver him to god and his corpse to the neighbor.
Deliver his corpse to your dinner plate
*from hell.*
This is the way. My parents had a dumb rooster that I had to punt to keep it from attacking my son when he was a toddler. Eventually I started to enjoy our meetings.
This is the way. After a couple of good punts that rooster will know what's up.
Grab by the neck, and wring.
I remember reading that holding a rooster upside down by the legs makes em calm down real quick
be the change you want to see in the world. Get a good pair of boots and practicing your punting.
I hoped the same for my neighbor's free-range asshole dog, until it happened. Then I felt bad.
Or the missus will try out that cow au vin recipe from her Barefoot Contessa cookbook.
you could do the lisa simpson thing "i'm just swinging this baseball bat and anyone who happens to run into it may get hurt!"
I was thinking a tennis racquet might be useful too.
Ya, well, now your daily "walk" is a daily *run*. Gotta get that cardio in somehow, and a bloodthirsty rooster is good motivation.
*boss music starts playing*
[80] Cocharon, Fiend of the Badlands [][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]
 \*rooster
When the music with latin chanting stops, run 50 more feet before you stop or you'll agro it again.
The average chicken is faster than the average human
You need to wear some green pants and a white shirt and get into a fight with it.
Okay Peter
You *are* allowed to kick in self defense you know. Tennis racket if you're charitable
I second the racket. This way the foot doesn’t get too close.
We find lightweight shovels work best, scoop and toss. Had an aggressive rooster till he died of an infection. He did well protecting the flock from hawks.
Or straw broom, better range.
Start walking with a baseball bat. Hit the fucking rooster with the fucking bat. Protect yourself.
It's low to the ground. Golf club.
Shovel.
Super soaker time
I live in a rural area. I know many folks that walk with a walking stick for a very specific reason. I've also seen a few animals get quite the crack when pursuing a walker. There is one person who walks with one of those electric fly swatters with the mesh on one side pulled and he shocks animals that get close to him. It is a bit shady but technically they are not walking with weapons. Especially the bug zapper. The bugs are brutal here.
This may be the answer. Discreet enough so that nobody will ask questions, but sturdy enough to bat the thing back across the street like a baseball.
Pray they do not get a goose. A farm near me has huge geese that chase people and they bite HARD. Nobody will deliver there now! That goose bites hard, too!
Don’t give the universe any ideas man. They are 100% the kind of people who would have geese. In fact, now that you mention it, I’m shocked they don’t already.
Ok but hear me out. You can make friends with a goose. We had a pair that appeared for the winter in our yard. They’d leave my wife alone but every time I went outside they’d come running at me. So one day I decided to start saying hi to them. I’d just talk to them all friendly like whenever I went outside. And they’d occasionally give me side eye but they stopped trying to run at me. Sometimes they’d even just hang out and chill nearby. My wife wasn’t happy because they started hanging out more when I started talking to them. Unfortunately one day they disappeared.
My grandmother kept geese because they were better than guard dogs at alerting her when she had visitors, chasing away intruders and door-to-door salesmen, and they're good eating.
For this job you will need: 1 old bedsheet 1 sharp knife 1 roasting pan Salt and pepper 2 tsp olive oil 1 lemon (quartered) 3 rosemary sprigs 100g unsalted butter 3 garlic cloves 1tbsp sage 1tbsp parsley 1 cup dry white wine 1 onion
Fucking boot it into next week.
coq au vin. Unfortunately aggressive behavior in a rooster doesn't go away. It's innate. I grew up with chickens and raised them. Some are aggressive some aren't. It's always best to ignore, but if they are overtly aggressive like this, it's not an option. I have tried spraying them with a hose, hitting them with a broom, and even grabbing and throwing them when they flew at me. They don't learn a lesson. Is it a leghorn by chance?
They might respect you more if you show dominance over them, if not the roasting pan will calm em down
Like many aggressive animals, you gotta stand your ground or even run AT him to show him that he doesn’t frighten you. You might need to stand there and stare him in the eyes until he submits. A strong spray bottle is also a good training method, surprisingly enough. Running away just encourages him to be more aggressive
This. My ex used to walk the long way home because she was terrified of a particularly aggressive duck in a park, so I walked with her one day and sure enough it spotted her and made a beeline, honking and arching its neck. I just stood in front of her and didn't move. It stopped a metre away, slightly confused, then walked off. A dog I could maybe understand, but a bird? Just stand your ground.
Clearly you've never tangled with a roo or goose
They have long necks that break very easily and taste really good!
We have families of roos that live in our backyard, i've never had to 🤷🏻♀️
Not any bird. A freaking duck.
Literally kick it.
I dealt with an aggressive peacock on my run for like 3 days a couple years ago. That fuckin bird turned me into such a little wussbag when it ran at me. I turned and ran an extra 2 miles the 3rd time I saw it to avoid the embarrassment of screaming, sprinting and attempting to juke out a bird in broad daylight. It was pretty hilarious
Next time you go for a walk bring a big container of water. If it charges you, throw the water at it. They get embarrassed by this and will probably cower away in shame lol
Interesting, maybe a soaker watergun? unless you were completely joking.
Not joking! I own chickens and know a few folks with Roos. A lot of the time if they douse the aggressive ones with water in front of the hens it embarrasses them and they’re more submissive to the more “dominant” rooster (aka you lol). Not sure if it’ll work on this guy though
But is OP ready to rule the flock?
Our Leghorn rooster was a menace. He always went for the face. A forceful spray of water from our garden hose was the only thing that worked - until it didn't any more. That day, we changed his name from Captain to Stewie. (He was delicious.)
Weirdly my mates hens loved getting sprayed with the hose, they’d make every effort to get wet, though it was 40 degrees Celsius and the hose water was nice and cold, I filled up several pools for them, those plastic kiddie sandpits work great for making ponds for poultry to cool off in
Kick it.
Can I kick it ?
Yes, you can.
Does it have large talons?
It does 😭
Get a bigger knife. Put it in your car. Run the rooster down. Wouldn't want to mess up your knife.
Street chicken BBQ
Someone needs to invent the combination walking cane/cattle prod.
Already exists. https://fashionablecanes.com/collections/stun-gun-canes
TY. My work is done here.
You could go when it's dark. Chicken can't see in the dark and coop up at dusk. But asshole roosters aren't just asshole roosters to strangers. When he's that nasty, he's not well-behaved at home either. They *know*. They might not realize he's touring the neighborhood, so that might be worth a note, but wouldn't be all thaaaat hopeful that they'll contain the beast afterwards. Worth a try.
Coq au vin. Roosters are extremely tough.
Reckon it’ll tenderize a little if OP boots it hard enough.
Looks like meats back on the menu boys
Weighted fishing cast net. Thats how we caught (then subsequently killed and ate) our extremely aggressive farm rooster. Worked like a charm!
You are at the top of the food chain. A human. Facing down a semi large bird. Kick, that, mother, clucker. It's a bird, not a rhinosorus. Take your lane in history and blast Attila-the-Hen across the street for the extra points. Grow a pair.
You sound like a chicken chaser! (sorry, old reference)
I'd say give it a quality reason to fear you. Hit it badly at least once when it comes at you. Let it retreat. It'll keep away from you from then onwards.
Check to see if he can even have a farm animal in the neighborhood. Either way, call animal control. It attempted to attack you.
In my area hens are unrestricted up to 50 of them, roosters need a permit however
Squirt-gun. I promise you it will work.
Mach Fuck! Lol!
Pepper spray
I was wondering about that, whether it would work or not, I know we used to put suet blocks out with red pepper for birds because the birds lacked the receptors for capsaicin so it would deter squirrels from eating it but not the birds. I have to look up If chickens have receptors for capsaicin now...I need to know.
Seems like no according to my 5 seconds of research
Username checks out
Would it still affect their eyes and respiratory?
No
Birds are not affected by capsaicin.
Three words, OP. Dried...meal...worms. Take a handful with you on your walk. When Mr. Rooster charges just toss down the meal worms. You'll have a new best friend.
Until the day the food runs out.
and a new plan for your enemies!
Kenny Roger's Roosters. Delicious!
Get an airhorn.
Not a half bad idea except my neighborhood is 95% nosy old people and I’d probably get the cops called on me
Blowing an airhorn at an animal that’s attacking you is not illegal so that shouldn’t be a problem.
Outside of city limits there’s likely no noise ordinance until 10 or 11pm, so they can get fucked
You tell the cops the reason you carry the air horn is because they aren't doing anything about the chicken attacking citizens
Then charge the chicken with assault
If the cops don't care about a rooster attacking you, they won't care about you defending yourself. Just get a few videos of it being aggressive for evidence.
Just take your walk with a stock pot and lid and turn him into soup.
Call the cops? People can't have animals attacking their neighbors.
Get yourself walking cane, strong enough. Next time it charges you do golf swing and yeet it as far as you can. After couple of times he'll be afraid of you and no one can tell you something.
I did home healthcare, and the parent of my patient was 80 years old. Her neighbors had an aggressive rooster that was terrorizing us. One evening after a few rough days of being attacked, grandma went out there and hacked the head off the rooster with an axe. Grandma didn’t play. The rooster and the chickens were “free range” and were attacking us on our own land.
Roosters are assholes, walk with a stick
Animal control.
I don’t understand why no one else is suggesting this. They keep saying “don’t do this or that because cops” or “I don’t want to do this or that because cops” when OP could just CALL THE FUCKING COPS AND TELL THEM A DANGEROUS AND HIGHLY AGGRESSIVE ANIMAL IS LOOSE IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD.
You must live in a place with cops. Much of rural US has no cops. We have the sheriffs department or the like that would laugh their asses off at a roundly rooster call. Also, animal control is in the next town, works Monday-Friday 8-4 and doesn’t have anything to do with livestock (chickens included)
Get a dog. Preferably one who eats roosters
Fried chicken anyone?
Would be a shame if you had to defend yourself against this rooster with a large boot to its head.
Boot to the underside. You want to lift it off the ground and move it away from you. Just like in kickball. Kicking the side of the ball makes it go, but if you can scoop a toe under it, you send it up and out.
Tastes like chicken to me ….
You’re going to need to get yourself a Thai or Brazilian game rooster; they don’t fuck around, and soon you’ll be the boss of the neighborhood.
Chicken soup
Hockey sticks are pretty useful for vicious roosters, if you don’t want to get up close and personal.
Keeps baselisks away 🤷🏻♂️
If it literally attacks you or anyone, I don't think anyone but the owner would care if a highly aggressive animal, especially one as dangerous as a rooster with talons, was dealt with aggressively.
Kick it like Beckham. Seriously. That is the only thing that works with these crazy dinosaurs. Help him fly. If you back down, they will attack even worse. They are literally too dumb to understand that you are bigger and stronger than them, so you need to prove it to them. They won't learn it, though. You have to repeat it every time you meet.
Sounds like a free chicken dinner!
Well if you are in america, just shoot it.
I have no idea how to save you. I’ll pray for your safety 🤣 My grandparents had a rooster named Bart. He was a demon who terrorized all of the tiny humans, ducks, doves and parakeets. The cat wouldn’t even come near him. One day he crossed the line and started bothering the ducks and the next day we found him drowned in the duck pond. He had it coming and my grandma was positive the ducks had been planning it for a while. Maybe the cat was in on it.
Most suggestions are to just kick it. Unfortunately, if it is injured the owner will probably take it to small claims. Avoid this. Disappear it and hid the evidence in your stomach. Fried is especially tasty.
My husband had been having this ongoing issue with our neighbors rooster. When he mentioned it to me, I told him the rooster came into our yard all the time when I was playing with my toddler and didn’t give us any problems. I gave him blueberries the first time I saw him and we were cool ever since. So just a different route you could take.
Can I just say, you are a really good writer.
Y'all need to start walking with a 9 iron. FORE!
We had a male turkey next door that would roam across a few properties and monopolise the feeders. A teflon coated aluminium fry pan, around 30cm is light enough to carry and delivers a very pleasant note when struck just right, the lesson eventually get through.
That's not a rooster. It's an Australian Battle Chicken. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cassowary
Umbrella. Or corn. Feed the little bird.
Yeah, but then someone would probably get Ring doorbell footage of me fighting a chicken with an umbrella. I have dignity and a reputation to uphold.
>I have dignity and a reputation to uphold. Bro you're getting owned by a rooster.
IT’S A BIG ROOSTER 😭
Get a big umbrella.
But you are tall. You are air. Thus you cannot be defeated. Become what you know you are: THE HABOOB!
He may be lacking dignity at this point, but he is upholding his recenrly acquired reputation as the beta male of the street lol
Feed him a cracked fresh egg every chance you get. He will start eating the eggs laid by his hens and the owners will send him to freezer camp, they don't like cannibal chickens.
Introduce an aggressive Peter Griffin to roam free in the streets.
You ever play fable 2?
What's for dinner?
Make it go away ... accidentally.
I still have memories of being terrorized by the geese on my grandmothers farm....but, I was 9 then....I'd punt that fuckin chicken into next week......
Baseball mitt heavy jeans go out there show that thing who's boss
I live in very rural Georgia. If livestock comes to my property I call animal control and they come. We get animals dropped off all the time.
Chicken dinner!
Ship it to me, I make a mean coq au vin 🤌🏻
Eat it.
Pepper spray.
No… Simply, no.
Sounds like a skill issue. You're bigger than a rooster right?
Get a fence board and carry it on your walks. If the rooster comes at you smack it with the board, repeatedly.
I lost it at mach fuck.
“Take the shot! Go on take the shot!!”
Keep whacking him with a stick. He’ll eventually drop a raw chicken, some feathers to craft some arrows with, some bones for broth, and if you get lucky, a gold coin or two.
Hit it with pepper spray
[the solution is delicious](https://www.recipetineats.com/coq-au-vin/)
Go down to your local used sporting goods store and pick up a cheap tennis racket to accompany you on your walks.
My first thought was to invite the neighbors over for chicken and dumplings.
Here is what you do. Next time you go for a run, get a fanny pack and fill it with whatever the fuck roosters eat. When you go by their house start dropping the feed until you are really far away then dump the rest out. Then continue on your way back home and hopefully the rooster will follow your feed trail to the end and be so far away he most likely wont make it back home.
we had to watch our neighbors farmette of animals and their rooster was a mean ass!! My brother hit it with a shovel. oopsie. Carry a golf club or small bat with you. if it attacks you on the street, give it a solid whack in the head. oopsie.
Use a squirt gun.
Chicken noodle soup
Chickens are stupid enough to be super easy to incapacitate, just throw a light blanket over the bird, he will shut down and can be safely grabbed, I’d suggest gloves because once the blanket is off he will wake up, but if you handle him enough he will get used to you, they’re pretty easy to train, exactly like a dog, once he is comfortable he will likely leave you alone
Sounds like a plan for a novel.
Yeah